Unnatural Selection

Clear Blue Skies

The occasional encounter his toes had with fragments of chalky rock in the middle of all that sand at least helped to remind Spike that he wouldn't starve. Minerals were here plentifully, if he wanted to dig to find them. Not right now, though. Not in the open. And not in the day, when the sun was high in the sky.

The ponies loved to play when the sun shone warmly and clear, like a beacon pointing out their prey.

He couldn't really remember how long it'd been since he'd felt grass between his toes. A long time. Going out to the wastelands, to the barren, rocky places, had seemed like a good idea. Less life, sure, but less for THEM to live off of too, right? But it hadn't turned out like that. His great big idea had turned out to be pointless. They were here too, just like they'd been in the forests and the plains and the grasslands, and for some reason they always seemed to think he was a choice hors d'oeuvre. Maybe it was because he was kinda pudgy. Not his fault most dragons his age still had tummies! Totally not his fault. Especially since he was running off whatever he ate in gems all the time. Every day. In hopes of finding an escape, a sanctuary, a hiding hole that never came. He hadn't even seen another living thing he could talk to safely, dragon or anything else, for at least a year, he guessed.

Even in the middle of his brooding, as he trudged wearily through the countless grains of sand, Spike's eyes kept flicking up to the sky. Watching for very specific shapes. The really fast ones, he wouldn't see them if they wanted him, of course. He wouldn't see them until they were already trying to kill him. But most of the pegasi were slow, lazy or simply patient. Like vultures, they preferred to circle and wait. That was good for most of the time, because it gave him opportunities to make himself look like tough meat. Barricade hiding spots, set his back to defensible locations, sharpen his claws very deliberately. One of these days he might even learn how to breath fire. In other ways, it was bad, though, because it made him feel safe. It was when you felt safe that the really nasty ones came at you. You couldn't let your guard down against those warmblooded meat-chompers. Not for a second.

A few birds were around, but nothing pony-shaped. He was okay. Other than dark bird-shapes, it was clear blue skies all the way. He heaved a sigh and licked cracked lips, thinking back to that time he'd found a waterfall. The water had been cool but not cold, with a white, flecky foam that would have put any cider to shame, and there'd been a rainbow stretched across the middle, like a shimmering, multicolored lie about how beautiful the world was.

Waddling over the biggest dune yet, he groaned in immense relief, his forked tongue reaching out almost a foot as he saw that the other dunes ahead were covered in rocky outcroppings. Gemstones could be in them, shade from the sun, and cover from pegasi. It was the best he'd seen in days. He should've gone to the freaking swamp like that river serpent with the mustache had suggested. But nooo, Spike had to be Spike and do his own thing! So rocks were as good as it was gonna get.

A little limestone would go down nice. Dare he hope for some nice crispy geodes, with that satisfying pop as he bit down to their central cavities like crunchy dumplings? Even turquoise was a possibility, but better not to get your hopes up. He'd be happy with a mid-grade limestone and maybe some chalcedony to wash it down with.

The buzzing in his ears turned into voices, and Spike froze with the instincts of somedragon who'd seen even the most minor careless gestures cause death too many times. It didn't sound like the typical high, cutesy pitch of ponies, though. It sounded deeper, rougher. Too harsh even for most stallions, and louder, as though from bigger throats. Daring to hope just the littlest bit, he crept forward with measured steps, bobbing his whole body and making sure his tail didn't impact the ground to tumble so much as a pebble. Three voices, just over the next big hunk of rock. Definitely boys, whatever they were. Griffins? He'd seen at least one herd of mustangs around, and griffins loved their horseflesh.

No, not griffins. Peeking over the very edge of the crumbly granite by skimpy centimeters, he saw telltale scales poking out in triangular shapes. Raising his head an inch more, than another inch, and he was sure of it. Not griffins or stallions or even changelings. It was dragons! He'd finally found some brothers and sisters!

Tears in his eyes, Spike ran forward before he remembered himself and slowed, holding his hands up peacefully as the four reared up against him, fangs and claws readied.

"Hey guys... what's up?" he asked with a nervous smile, but his eyes were all over those yummy-looking geodes. Some of them weren't even cracked yet. Cracking them open was the best part. "Me, I'm just walking around, taking in the sights, you know. All that swell... dirt and stuff."

"Get outta here, moocher," the tall red one growled. He seemed to be the leader by his posturing. "This is our stash. You want gems, go find your own like a REAL dragon."

"Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what I've been doing my whole life," Spike snapped back irritably. He was normally a lot more laid-back, but after you walked around a bleached lifeless sand pit for a while, it got on your nerves. He hadn't even had anything to drink since yesterday, and the water'd been dirty then. "Not like I need you to help me find something to eat, I just wanted to see what was happening, that was all."

"Whoa, whoa, looks like we got ourselves a real TOUGH baby dragon here," the one with blonde hair covering his eyes joked, hands held out as if in apology. "I think I even see a widdle itty-bitsy scar on 'im!"

Spike had forgotten about the whitened scratch on his right haunch. He couldn't even remember what he'd gotten it from. Probably a cactus or something. But hey, if it helped them respect him a little, why not? "Yeah, I got that from a little argument with either manticore or a chimera, I don't remember which," he said coolly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Blondie and fatty looked convince, but the tall red one just snickered. "Right, and after that you did dentistry on a hydra. S'all good though, I gotta have a LITTLE respect for anyone brave enough to lie to somedragon who could pound him into mush. Here, this quartz is all junk anyway."

Red tossed Spike a hunk of crystal, which he snapped up with an appropriate level of viciousness, gnashing his teeth ferociously so that he looked like he belonged with this older, stronger (if not too bright-looking) teenaged dragons. Yeah, he was tough stuff, alright. The toughest little wingless baby dragon you ever saw. And nothing was tougher than knowing when to run away, right? That was tough with your BRAINS, not your brawn.

"The name's Garble," Red said companionably, letting out a belch. Spike tried not to wince. Unnecessary sounds like that weren't a good idea, but whatever, it wasn't like he'd seen anything dragonivorous around lately. "Big brown's Raggle, and the dragon with the dumb haircut's Frock."

"I'm Spike!" He pulled up a smooth rock and turned their triangle into a lopsided square. It was good to be among dragons again. People of any kind that didn't want to hurt him, really. Numbers were always good, made him feel safe.

"We were tellin' each other stories while we're noshin', lil rookie. You think you can contribute?" Frock asked, flicked splintered shards of minerals into his mouth like popcorn.

"Sure. I mean, I think I know some good ones. What kinda stories?"

Raggle grinned. "Scary stories."

"Terrifyingly true tales of murder and mayhem," Garble said, leaning in with what was supposed to be a sinister pose, but his expression just made it goofy. "You know, blood and guts and all that stuff."

"Aww, I was hoping for a nice romantic com-" Spike started to mumble, then changed his mind when he saw how weirdly they were staring at him. "I mean, blood and guts, yeah, what dragon could ask for anything else! Flying body parts and entrails and screaming stuff. Yeah, can't get enough of it."

"Eh, I don't think our little rookie knows what it's all about," Frock said, scratching his jaw and letting a large patch of dried scales fly.

"Needs a demo," Raggle opined, bobbing his head like it was on strings. His belly jiggled in minor fleshquakes with the movement.

"W-well maybe if I had an example so I know what you guys go for," Spike suggested hesitantly, hoping it wouldn't make him seem less cool.

He needed to keep them impressed or at least tolerant. They were probably his best hope of survival in this wasteland. Eyes roaming to confirm the safety of their position (something he couldn't help but notice they weren't putting any effort into), he satisfied himself in their viewpoint lacking big blindspots where earthbound predators could creep up on them. The skies were all clear, too. Well, not there were a few specks in the blue, but too far off to tell what they were. Just more birds probably.

"Alright, it was my turn anyway, rookie. It's your lucky day. I'll get the ball rolling and we'll see if you can pick it up from there."

Garble stretched with a massive series of crackles along the bones in his back while the other two settled in to munch handfuls of gems as they listened. Spike kept his portions small, so he could hear easily without the crunching in his mouth getting in the way.

"Years and years ago, everydragon near the borders of gem-rich Equestria saw a rainbow-colored explosion in the sky. Now, that sounds lame, but this was one intense explosion. Some of them were even blinded by it, and we're talkin' about a species that can skinny dip in lava with our eyes open!"

Spike nodded along, noticing that Raggle had pulled a dehydrated to petrification muffin out of his belly button and was chewing on it with cracking sounds almost as loud as the gems had been. Man, it looked like blueberry, too. His favorite.

"But that was just the beginning. Somedragons were smart and figured it was good to hibernate with their hoards for a while. Others weren't so smart, or so lucky. They would pay the ultimate price for sticking around to see what was next. You wanna guess what came next, Spike?"

"Well, since it's near Equestria, it probably has to do with ponies, right?" he guessed logically.

"Half a point for you, shortie! You were close. It wasn't PONIES... it was pony. Ever since that explosion, dragons just started vanishing day after day. One by one. And the thing of it was, no one could even tell why or how it was happening! Two dragons would be walking along, having a good farting contest, and suddenly one of them wouldn't be there anymore. Poof. Nothing left... 'cept for maybe a lil blood and a faint breeze with the tiniest bits of rainbow colors shimmering in it."

"Cool," Spike said politely, though it actually made him feel a little ill. Not so ill that he didn't want Raggle's seemingly infinite supply of bellybutton muffins though. The dragon was moving on to banana nut now.

"Now one day, the dragons that were left got themselves what they thought was a great idea. They thought they'd set a trap. So they got together in a big, vulnerable-looking cave when it was night, and strung up all kinds of boobytraps. Razor wire all over the tunnel openings, leftover claws and fangs seared to the corners of the outcroppings, the works. They sealed themselves in so nice that they'd have to blow it all up with fire just to get out. And then... then they waited."

"So did they catch the kidnapper pony? I guess it would have to be a unicorn, right, because they can teleport and stuff..."

"Hey, show a little respect for atmosphere, here!" Garble snapped. "I'm tryin' to build the SUSPENSE."

"Wait, I'm confused. Do you want me to be scared now? Because earlier you wanted me to be all RAWR and stuff. I mean, whatever, it's a great story."

"Raggle, hit the rookie with one of your dumb year-old muffins."

And that was how Spike got a fresh black eye and a muffin to eat. Unfortunately it was bran, definitely the bottom of the muffin food pyramid.

"Now, as I was SAYING... they waited, and waited, until rosy-fingered dawn-"

"Gay," Frock chortled, his hair flopping in rhythm with his amusement.

"Shut up," Garble said with such casualness that Spike was sure it was something that he'd said to the other dragon many, many times before. "Until rosy-fingered dawn peeked through the tunnel and started to light up the cave like a really pretty but still fairly scary maze and stuff. The dragons knew that if it didn't work, they'd have to leave, and nodragon wanted to move their hoards, because what a pain that is, am I right?"

"Right," agreed every other (very hoardless) dragon in the vicinity.

"So tensions were running up to the max in there. You know how it is when you cram a lot of dragons in one cave. We're lone warriors, our tempers get kinda ruffled. They started to have a little argument as daylight spilled in more and more, and eventually they got to tail wrestling. And then... dragons started to disappear."

"Even though their traps had been just freakin' perfect, man, with deadly spikiness and sharpness over every inch of every entrance, as soon as they looked away... boom! Another dragon, gone. And still that shimmer of multicolored air."

"Bet they were freaking out," Raggle said, eating three muffins at once in a massive chomp while Spike contented himself with some more stinkin' subpar quartz. "Wusses, hee."

Spike's eyes snapped back to those black dots in the sky again, completely without any prompting other than his own well-honed paranoid instincts. They were definitely bigger. Maybe birds. Probably birds. But headed this way, gradually. Worth keeping an eye on.

The other three hadn't looked up since Spike had been here.

"Yeah, they were freaking for real, screaming at each other and spittin' out their best fire at thin air. But it didn't stop! One by one... until there were only two dragons left. A great big red one, kinda like me, handsome with a well-defined snout and all wiry with muscles-"

Raggle rolled his eyes while Frock made a gesture that Spike had never seen before but was pretty sure was rude.

"-and one tiny little fat baby dragon. Purple." Garble grinned down at Spike, who was starting to sweat nervously.

"That... that's quite a coincidence..." he managed to say with a matching grin.

"Yeah, sure is, ain't it? And they decided they'd just stare and stare at each other so nothing could GET them with the other one watching," Grabble said, bowing himself into an upside-down U shape, eyes widening as his face got closer and closer to Spike's. Somehow, his breath smelled like nacho cheese even though Spike was totally sure there was no nacho cheese anywhere around here.

"So they stared and stared and stared... until... WHOOOOSH!"

Spike jumped at the noise.

"Hah, little guy's scared!" Frock said with a laugh.

And he was scared, but mostly because he was worried about them attracting attention by being so noisy. He checked up on those dots again. They were still just dots. With wing outlines, but hey, everything that flew had wings so that didn't tell him much. He could probably see them a lot better if the sun wasn't in his eyes.

"The little purple dragon," Garble hissed meaningfully, "was gonnnnnnne. Right while Big Red watched. BUT. Something was different this time. This time, in the victim's place, a pegasus pony was there, hovering in midair with the hum of ripped up air still around her, her rainbow-colored mane and tail still spitting out colors behind her."

Aww, so it wasn't a unicorn then. "I've never heard of a pegasus that fast before," Spike commented skeptically. Pegasus could get really fast, as fast as a dragon could fly, but so fast they couldn't even be seen? That, he found hard to believe. But it was just a story anyway.

"Hey, peanut gallery, shutcher yapper! AT-mosphere," Garble said firmly while Spike made a show of being respectful as the other two waggled their claws in the air mockingly. "So Big Red stared into that pegasus pony's eyes, which were totally even redder than his scales, red like the blood she'd left all around the cave. Her coat was the purple of a storm cloud and she had a matching cloud symbol on her flank, complete with a little rainbow. They stared at each other, him with his fangs gritted tight, ready to fight, her with just this little confident smirk, like she knew there was nothin' in the world that could beat her. There was still a bit of scaly skin hanging between her front two teeth."

"'Your traps were lame,' she told Big Red. "'Tell ya what, I'll let you go so you can think up better ones. I'm the awesomest hunter in Equestria's airspace, and I expect my prey to be at LEAST half as awesome to keep me from getting bored.'"

"'That's a pretty good idea,' said Big Red, 'but you know what's even better? The HUNTER becoming the HUNTED!' And just like that, he let out an awesomely huge blast of fire right above her head, straight into the weakened pillars of the roof they'd set up beforehand. Tons of rock crashed down on the evil pegasus and crushed her into mush! But... even as Big Red walked away, he could still see a little rainbow flickering above the rock pile. And if anydragon has the guts to go there and se it, there that rainbow remains to this very day, a gravestone for the fastest, most murderous but definitely not brightest pegasus that ever was."

His story apparently concluded, Garble stared at Spike, waiting for an appropriate reaction.

Spike frowned, using his tongue to dig splinters of quartz out from between his fangs. "I don't know, do scary stories usually have the good guy winning? And the way he did it seems kind of like a deus ex machina."

"There wasn't any machinery involved, you dimwit!" Spike ducked a swat from the irate storyteller. "And I swear every word of that is true. You know how I know? Because I'M Big Red. I'm the last survivor of the great rainbow wind massacre."

"I haven't ever heard of any rainbow wind massacre," Frock said.

"Well, that's what they call it, okay?! Get off my case, the bigger dragons just don't like to talk about it because of how scared it makes 'em and stuff."

"Guys, I think there might actually be some pegasus ponies right here, if you look..." Spike pointed with a claw at the shapes, which were just now getting close enough that he thought he could maybe see hooves sticking out below the main shapes.

"Relax, even if it is, there's not that many of 'em," Garble said with a shrug, giving a split second glance to the potential danger. "Three for three, and one of 'em looks tiny. If they're dumb enough to hit us we'll just bash their heads in. Right, guys?"

His buddies nodded and laughed and ate more muffins/gems, while Spike kept his worries to himself. They were older than he was. Stronger. They seemed to know where they were going. He was probably just being a big old fraidy dragon.

"So, you got a story that can beat mine, rookie?" Garble asked, poking a claw at Spike's belly.

Spike swatted it away. "Well, I dunno, maybe. Your story did get me thinking back to something that happened to me once..."

"Well, let's hear it then!"

"Yeah, tell us your life story, snotnose!"

"Hahah, snotnose, he does look like a snotnose, don't he."

Spike sniffed haughtily. "Like I was saying, it got me thinking back to something that happened to me once. I saw a rainbow..."

"OooOOOoOOOh!" all three older dragons jeered at him. He just rolled his eyes.

"I saw a rainbow back when I found this neat waterfall in the middle of the woods. It was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen, and I was really thirsty, so I dove in for a drink and a swim."

"This doesn't sound like a very dragonesque story if ya ask me," Frock said.

"At-mo-sphere," Spike said very deliberately, while Garble grinned and nodded his approval.

"Go on, rookie."

"So I dove in and... hey, guys, those things in the sky are definitely pegasus ponies, maybe we should take cover or something."

"Where?" Raggle asked, as they all looked around vaguely in the wasteland.

"Good point."

"Relax, little guy, we'll protect you from the big bad flying ponies. Didn't I just tell you I beat the fastest pegasus in the world? Come on, if your story's got a point, I wanna hear it. Get to the good stuff."

"I dove in and when I opened my eyes underwater, I was face-to-face with jillions of SEA PONIES!"

"No way," Frock and Raggle said.

"Yes way! Well, maybe not a JILLION, but definitely at least a baker's dozen," he amended, causing a brief argument to break out between the other dragons about how many a baker's dozen was. Which was rough, because they didn't even know what a regular dozen was.

"Are you sure you didn't just see a bunch of seaweed or something that looked like ponies? I heard sea ponies weren't real," Garble said suspiciously.

"Seaweed," Spike said with great dignity, "does not try to eat me. There they were, pink ones and purple ones and green ones and orange ones, all ready to rip me to shreds, their tongues wiggling like worms on hooks! At first, I panicked, 'cause they were all around me and there was no way to shore that wasn't through a sea pony. But then I remembered something I'd heard once, one faint thread of possible survival that kept me clinging to hope, even while they stared at me hungrily with their dark, fishy eyes and talked about how much fat to meat to bone percentage my brisket was!"

"Yeah, so what'd you do? Tell 'em you'd taste terrible? Haw haw!"

"Well, yeah, but that one never works," Spike admitted while the other three nodded sagely, probably having tried the same thing in their time. "But what I remembered was that there was this myth about sea ponies loving music! To soothe the savage beast, you know?"

"I dunno, music never chills me out, and I'm as savage as they come," Garble said, stealing a muffin from Raggle.

"Well, that's what I heard, anyway, so I decided to try it," Spike went on stubbornly, determined to finish now that he'd started. "Only because I was so freaked out at the time all I could think of was this stupid little number I just made up on the spot... with fake words like shoop-bee-doo and asking them not to eat me and stuff."

"Sounds stupid."

"I dunno, Raggle, might come off better if we had a tune to put it to," Garble said smirkingly. "Come on, Spike, let's hear it."

"Uhm." He flushed. Suddenly fear of being eaten by random pegasus ponies was warring against equally-strong fear of embarrassment in his head. "Well, it's been a while, I don't completely remember..."

"Just do an approximation," Garble said with sinister cheer. "Unless it didn't really happen, of course, in which case you don't gotta..."

"It did so happen! Alright, fine! Here goes, then. But remember, if it sounds dumb, it's cause I was making this up off the top of my head while underwater and surrounded by ponies who wanted to eat me." He puffed up his chest with a breath and sang as well as he could remember.

Shoop-bee-doo-shoop-shoop-bee-doo

Oh, please don't eat me sea ponies, all my meat is tough

Gristly on the inside, and my scales and bones are rough

And I'm probably poison or at least fattening (FATTENING!)

I don't wanna die to sea ponies and that is why I sing

Shoop-bee-doo-shoop-shoop-bee-doo

They couldn't even keep straight faces without cracking up for the first measly verse. He sighed. It'd been pretty good work for impromptu, he'd thought. A nice, jaunty tune that was easy to keep pace with while scared out of your mind, and the words were simple enough that they were pronounced easily enough even underwater. He couldn't even begin to imagine how they'd react once he told them about the sea ponies dancing in chorus lines.

Then he did another cursory checkup on the sky, and felt icy fear tickle his bones to contrast the warmth of embarrassment. The three pegasus ponies were getting a lot closer, and starting to take up the circling formation of flying ponies that had spotted a good meal.

"Errr, guys..."

They were still laughing.

"GUYS!" he yelled loudly enough to be heard.

"Oh my aching sides, that was the worst and best thing I've ever seen, hahah," Garble said, wiping tears from his eyes. "What's the matter, shrimp?"

"Seriously, those pegasi look interested in us, we should be doing, I dunno, something!"

Garble finally took him seriously, shading his eyes with a hand as he peered up. "Yeah, I getcha. They're in scavenging formation... uh, I think. The big one in front's flying all weird." He snickered. "Look at that, guys. The big one leading the other two. You call that a circle? She must be retarded or something."

And it was true, while the three ponies kept to a rough circle that drifted ever closer, the biggest of the three ponies was definitely adding some creative topsy-turviness that made the whole maneuver unnecessarily complex and awkward-looking, tilting out to one side or the other, sometimes even doing loop-de-loops randomly.

"Might still be mean though," Frock said. "You can't underestimate retards, they got that retard strength when they're mad because they dunno that they're not supposed to be that strong."

"Um, I'm not sure it works like that," Spike piped in quietly, almost feeling sorry for the pony as it barely avoided a midair collision, even though it probably wanted to feast on his sweetmeats. Well, his allmeats, really, he'd never seen a pony that was picky.

"Prolly has bird stink in its eyes," said Raggle.

"Hahah, that sounds about right! Hey, gimme s'more of those muffins." Garble shoveled half a dozen in his mouth and chewing while still looking upward, spraying granite-hard crumbs everywhere. "Okay, Spike, we hear ya. You're our little recon man. They probably don't know dragons and think we're about to keel from heat exhaustion. I bet that retarded one can't tell a dragon from a wyvern in the first place! Let's just get up and keep walkin' at a lively clip, make sure they know we're still alive and ready to kick their pathetic cutie marked flanks if need be."

"Why can't we just fly?" asked Frock in a whining tone as he tried to pack as many gems as possible 'to go' as he could in his two arms.

"Because we'd just be closer to the pegasi that way, nimrod," Garble snapped. "What, you wanna go up there right next to 'im? Maybe go up and say hello, shake their hooves, invite 'em to a sleepover? I bet they'd love you between two big chocolate crackers."

Spike was privately relieved that they weren't going to abandon him, but still felt obligated to contribute ideas to the group. "We could always fly high up above them so we had the advantage of higher ground. I mean, you'd have to carry me, but still..."

"Good idea, short stuff."

"Thanks!"

"But not gonna happen. Fatty over here can't catch that much wind, and I don't feel like exerting myself that much."

"Raggle doesn't catch wind, he dispenses it," Frock called out.

Raggle demonstrated, causing Spike to groan and hastily sidestep over so he wasn't directly behind the brown dragon.

These dragons might not have been the saltiest crackers in the box, but Spike was grateful to find that at least they didn't talk a whole bunch while being actively hunted by pegasi. Things got quiet as they trekked over the sands and nibbled what snacks they kept on hand, leaving a small trail of breadcrumbs and gem shards behind them. They made a point of looking up and glaring at the circling three ponies every few minutes, but though they walked and walked and glared and glared, the ponies kept circling, kept following. Getting closer with the lazy, almost accidental patience of soap bubbles drifting in the air.

"So where are we headed, anyway?" Spike asked after what felt like a good hour of waiting for the ponies to make a move or go away.

"Everfree Forest." Garble's tone was tight with annoyance, he clearly wanted to do something about the ponies but wasn't sure if he should or not. The other two looked up to him and followed his lead with mindless obedience, too confident in him to even be afraid like Spike was. Spike wished he had that kinda faith in anydragon. "See, Equestria's got tons of gems, everydragon knows that. But it's also got tons of ponies."

"Like superfast rainbow pegasi."

"Yeah. So, I had this idea to build up some dens in the Everfree, nearer to Equestria but using the woods for cover. Close enough for gem hunts, far enough that ponies don't hunt us. Pretty good plan, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess." Spike wondered if he ought to turn around and walk right back in the opposite direction. Every step he took was taking him closer to a nation full of dragon-eating monsters. But he was taking those steps with friends, right? Or at least companions.

"We just have to watch out for a pony town, they call it Applesomething, that's between here and the forest," Garble went on. "It should be easy to spot though, so we can circle around it."

Then Garble stopped dead, causing the other three to bump into him and each other in sync, like dominoes.

"HEY, YOU BUZZARDS! GO BACK TO FLIGHT SCHOOL!" Garble yelled at the sky in defiance. "YOU WANT SOME A' THIS, HUH?!" He jerked a thumb at Raggle, who spat out a stream of flame as big as Spike had ever seen from a non-adult dragon.

Still in an approximation of their circle formation, the ponies flapped up higher to avoid the flame, then dove down to their previous position. Actually, a little closer than that, even. They were close enough by now that Spike could tell that the biggest one was blonde with a gray coat, the slightly smaller one purple, and the smallest matching in color to the big one.

Wait a minute.

He squinted.

"Guys, the regular-flying ones have horns!"

All three larger dragons froze dead and glared up.

"NO WAY!"

"NUH UH!"

"YOU'RE FULL OF IT, ROOKIE!"

Everydragon knew what a pony with wings and a horn meant. The thing that even a full-grown dragon wouldn't want to tangle with. Alicorn.

"Th-they're not even usin' real wings!" Garble spat out after a moment's further inspection, his voice hysterical with disbelief and laughter. "Look! The tard's a pegasus, but the other two are using some kinda... hang glider things with feathers stuck on 'em! That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen!"

While his companions hooted merrily, Spike watched in silence, noticing how the 'wings' on the other two were often surrounded by faint magical glows that matched glowing horns. Either adjusting the artificial wings for angle or creating puffs of wind right below. They had it down pat, too. Even the little baby one didn't falter in its movements, although he thought he could tell the scrunched up expression of intense concentration on its face. The only real pegasus of the bunch was, in fact, the worst flier. That made him feel really sorry for it. With a random outburst of curiosity, he kept inspecting until he was pretty sure he had their genders all figured out. They were all fillies. Well, if he was gonna die, might as well know what was eating him. Never hurt to plan for the worst. Were they a family of some kind? It had to take dedication to use magic to fly in the sky with a pegasus, especially when you were still growing. Ponies were people, too.

Terrible, horrible, scary murderously evil people, but still.

People.

After some prompting, he got them all moving again. There wasn't any talk about finding shelter for night, and as the air began to cool, Spike couldn't help but yawn, wondering how much further they intended to go. Their longer legs made walking so much easier – he had to take several steps for each one of theirs – but so fragile was his acceptance in the group that he didn't want to seem weak by asking for a ride on anydragon's back.

They would look out for him, right? He'd looked out for them. He'd kept an eye on the ponies when nodragon else had cared enough to. And sang that stupid song. They owed him for the song. And, deep in his heart, Spike knew that he really just wanted a place to belong, where he could feel safe and accepted. Family. Friends. Home. This didn't feel quite... right... but it was close enough.

It was getting pretty dark, the sky a musty purple-sapphire, when Spike noticed Raggle stopping and standing still a good few teenage-dragon paces behind them.

"Hey, you okay?" he called out nervously. It was too dim to see the ponies now, except as black blots that he imagined were in the wrong places half the time.

"Gotta squirt."

"Better hurry it up, Raggle, we ain't stoppin'!" Garble said loudly, keeping to his word.

Garble was getting pretty ticked off at this point at the ponies still hanging around. Spike rushed to get back in place, throwing glances behind him at the boulder-like silhouette of Raggle every few seconds. It didn't seem bright to split up, even for short distances, like that, not in the dark with ponies probably nearby, but what could he do? When nature called, it called, and the others weren't going to listen to him.

He felt the breeze pick up, cool and sharp, just over his head, and his heart jumped into his throat as he felt the trajectory headed towards Raggle, accompanied by a huge shadow that he would have mistaken for an enormous bat if he hadn't known better.

"RAGGLE!" he screamed in a panic. The time for stealth was totally done. "LOOK OUT!"

The stream of hissing urine on sand stopped, and Raggle looked up blankly, muffin crumbs falling from his mouth. He instinctively moved over to one side, but not fast enough. The blackness swooped onto him, knocking him over, and then past him up into the sky. It was followed by two others, with the corkscrew-flying pegasus in a distinctive last place. As they sheltered in the night sky again, out of reach, Spike heard them giggling with the delicate, gentle, slightly high glass bell-tones common to female ponies.

Two streams of flame burst into the sky from behind Spike, near-blindly, but aimed enough to get in the same basic direction as the attacking ponies.

"SONUVA-" Garble swore, then cut himself off, stomping over. "Did we get 'em?! Spike, did you see?! Raggle, man, what's happenin'?!"

Spike could only shake his head dazedly, unable to see practically anything from the aftereffect of flame cutting it so close to his vision, so suddenly against the night. He blinked until he could see the outlines of Frock and Garble helping Raggle to his feet. Raggle seemed stunned, but lacking major injuries. No big hoof bruises or bite punctures.

"We're gonna rip those little things to pieces!" Garble snarled, waxing full in leaderly rage. "I can't believe they just swooped down like that outta nowhere!"

Spike considered mentioning that if they had stayed together, that might not have happened, but after getting enough night vision back to catch the expression on Garble's face, he kept his mouth shut.

"Yeah, we'll teach 'em a lesson! Stupid retard ponies think they can get away with messing with dragons!" Frock chimed in, slashing at the air.

"Guys..." Raggle rumbled, blinking and looking around. "M'fine."

The other three got a good look at him. Raggle wasn't just mostly unhurt, he was totally unhurt. The ponies hadn't so much as nipped or clipped him. But why? Why would ponies just feint an attack like that? There was no point, the dragons would be on their guard now. Totally not good hunting technique, right?

Then Spike realized.

"The muffins," he told them.

They turned to stare at him.

"They took the muffins!" he yelled, waving his arms in the air in annoyance. "That was what they wanted the whole time!"

Raggle looked himself over, dug a hand into his bellybutton, then nodded at Garble and Frock in agreement. "Yerp."

Two clock ticks worth of silence was broken by the Garble bursting into relieved, hysterical laughter, quickly followed by Frock, Raggle and eventually Spike.

"I can't believe it! They were trailin' us all day and night... just to get some BAKED GOODS! Hahahahah!"

It felt good to laugh.

"Your muffins aren't even dat good!" Frock told Raggle, who roared his amusement.

"An' da ones left were half moldy too!" Raggle added.

The three larger dragons, arms over each other's shoulders, collapsed together in giddy relief, while Spike walked his way over, still giggling.

"Ah ha... ah ha... hahah... haaaaa..."

"Can you believe that?!" Garble shouted out into the night, his tone still tight and fierce despite its amusement. "I mean, I mean, three ponies who can't fly straight, after our MUFFINS! Man, you can't make stuff up this sad! That one in front was the best, too! The stupid one was the only one with wings and it couldn't even really fly! It flew like a, a-"

"...a derp de derp," Raggle said with a grin, turning his back to them to finish his bathroom break.

"YEAH! A HERP DE DERP!" Frock crowed in agreement.

"That's right, hah! Hey, Derpy Derp, you want us to teach you how to fly?!" Garble called into the night-blank sky. "Tell ya what, every mile you fly without ramming your ugly face intuh somethin' we'll give you another muffin! Maybe bonus muffins if you ever manage to figure out what a straight line looks like! Hahahah!"

Spike saw the shadow again, but this time it was three of them all at once, and from an angle away from him so he felt no breeze. He opened his mouth to shut, but they were faster than he was, and the other ones were too busy yelling at the sky and laughing to notice for themselves.

For a second time, Raggle's bladder relief was interrupted, but this time, he didn't fall down. Instead, he turned around slowly, his mouth wide open for a second before he spoke, the sound seeming to come from deep in his throat.

"Guys..." he croaked, and Garble and Frock shut up as they saw, with Spike, the series of brilliant red lines slashed across Raggle's stomach.

Spike knew that kind of wound. They were thin, but the blood was leaking out fast almost immediately, like they were enormous paper cuts. It was the kind of wound that was made by pegasi who sharpened their hooves to use the edges for cutting as they swooped by, an advantage that allowed them to injure without stopping or getting a firm grip in a target that could interfere with their own movements through the air. The blood waterfalled down Raggle in a torrent and the fat dragon burst open, a terrible stench accompanying his entrails and other organs as they flopped out onto the desert sand.

Garble and Frock screamed and took to the air, spitting fire in every possible direction.

Spike ran up to Raggle and tried, despite his disgust and terror, despite the fact that he could barely breath this close to it, to pick up Raggle's ruined insides and scoop them back into his inside where they belonged. But they were heavy, and slippery, and it was dark, and Raggle was flailing around and hollering and he didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to do.

The shadows came back. Two of them went immediately for Raggle's entrails, picking them up in hooves and teeth, chomping and slurping up fluids and giggling as they dragged the ropey meatstuff up into the sky with them. The third one, the pegasus, twirled unevenly around Spike like a moth confused by a candle flame behind glass. At one point she flew so close and at just the right angle that he got a good view of her eyes, one looking crazily in a different direction from the other one. Then the rest of her passed by, a mild gray flank with a bubbly symbol on it, and a blonde tail that whipped past his face delicately.

"MUFFIIIIIINNNSSS!" she called out happily, muffin crumbs falling out of her mouth and onto Spike and Raggle, her voice full of innocent pleasure in a hunt where she had no idea of what the prey was feeling, or just didn't care, either way. She scooped up what was left of Raggle's stomach, still full of barely-chewed muffins, and bit through what kept it attached to the rest of him with a zesty growl, then flew up into the sky, laughingly victorious.

Spike couldn't see Frock and Garble, but he could hear them screaming still, and he could see their fires, directed everywhere in the sky but where the ponies actually where. He looked over to Raggle, who was dead, eyes going to that fixed state, breath long since gone. There was nothing more he could do for Raggle.

He looked back up. The other dragons were all fright and anger, but not getting anything done. And the ponies?

The ponies could be anywhere.

All that food was probably enough for three ponies, but they could just be a scouting party for a larger group, and that meant they'd want more meat. Spike was suddenly glad that he hadn't ate any of the muffins, his stomach, full of just rocks, churning violently.

Mouthing a tearful apology to Raggle and the others, Spike turned and ran into the night.

Friendship was great.

Spike might have even gone so far as to call it magical.

But having an escape route was even better.