Hi, everyone! I thought of this a while back, and I just couldn't stop myself. They say we hurt the ones we love, so that's why I'm going to torture BeastBoy to the brink of going nuts. He is my favorite Titan, after all. For those to be wary, this will have a good bit of perverted humor, but it's all good natured, and it's comedically perverted. It won't really appear this chapter, however. This one's more of a lead in for the story to begin. Still, hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Teen Titans. They wouldn't be cancelled if I did...

Chapter 1: It Begins With...A Laser?

"Hey, old man! Is it ready yet?" Kitten demanded impatiently, tapping her foot, and resuming her pacing. She was overseeing the process of creating her greatest idea yet.

"Patience, little Miss." the old scientist known as Chang grunted to his young boss, not looking away from his work, as he fixed computer chips and modified controls of the machine he was building. Admittably, he wouldn't be doing something as demeaning as working for a teenage brat, but the money was paying well, so he kept his mouth shut for the most part. "It won't be much longer. Just keep the money ready." he said simply.

"Excellent!" Kitten said, clenching her fist with a gleam in her eyes and an evil grin. "With this, Robin will be all mine for sure! There's no way this can fail!" she said, laughing obnoxiously.

Outside the building they had been in, a figure had been listening near the door.

"Heh...not if I tell them first, girl." the figure said slyly, pulling out a communicator.

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Inside the Titans Tower, the Titans were enjoying another normal day. Robin was reading the newspaper, Raven was reading a novel, and Starfire watched as BeastBoy and Cyborg were locked in another life and death struggle...on a video game. As both were gritting their teeth, and slamming their sides into each other as they moved with their characters, Starfire followed their movements with her own. Robin ignored them and Raven only rolled her eyes.

After a few minutes, Robin's communicator began beeping. Robin took it out, as BeastBoy and Cyborg paused their game, and looked over.

"This is Robin." Robin said.

"Hey, Robin. Got some information for you." the person on the other end said. It was none other than Jinx.

"Jinx! Long time, no see. What's up?" Robin asked.

"Oh, I was just wandering around when I happened to listen in on an interesting conversation."

"Yes?"

"It seems some girl's bossing around that old guy Chang, getting him to build something for her. Don't know much of the details, really."

"I see...anything else?" Robin asked.

Jinx closed her eyes and smiled lightly. "It seems that whatever she's cooking up, it's gonna make you hers for sure. Of course, I don't know if you like this girl or not, so..." Jinx trailed off.

Robin hastily shut off the communicator. "T-Titans, Go!" he said quickly. He already knew the only person who would be doing that...

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Back in the building, Chang was pressing a few more buttons, now seated behind the monstrous machine he built over time. "Almost there..." He muttered to himself. "...Done!" he said, pressing a final button. "It's all ready for firing, little Miss." he told Kitten.

"Great! Now to lure Robbie Poo here, and..." Kitten began, before the doors to the building burst open, and the Titans were framed in the doorway.

"No need for that, Kitten." Raven said.

"Yeah! We lured ourselves here!" BeastBoy said. Everyone looked over at him blandly. "What?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"The Titans? How'd you get here?" Kitten demanded angrily, taking a step forward. As she did, she felt some kind of energy hit the ground at her feet, causing her to trip flat on her face. Growling as she got up, she saw another girl come in the building from outside.

"You gotta choose your hiding places better, girl. That, or be a little quieter with your evil plans." Jinx said.

Kitten growled again, and pointed. "Just you watch, Robbie Poo! This laser I had the old man build..." she said, pointing at the machine behind her, and the Titans finally noticed Chang, seated behind a laser, looking like a smaller, simpler version of the one he had first threatened them with, back when Red X first appeared, without Robin behind the mask. "...Will make the person hit fall completely and hopelessly in love with the first person of the opposite sex they see! And I'm gonna make sure you see me first!" she said, pointing at him once again, yelling her command. "Fire, old man!" she said.

Chang pressed a few buttons at his console, and the laser began pivoting, aiming its point at Robin, and firing a thin, pink beam at Robin. Robin's eyes widened, as he dived out of the way just in time. The Titans all spread out quickly, ready to stop this rather nonthreatening team. Raven picked up a few bits of debris and threw them with her magic, and Cyborg fired a long blast from his Sonic Cannon, while both were assisted by starbolts from Starfire. As the blasts hurtled towards Chang, some type of transparent energy shield appeared around the laser, and blocked all the attacks. The Titans were stunned, but Chang just laughed. Obviously, Kitten must have forseen they would resist, and had Chang install the shield. Or, more likely, Chang installed it himself, aware of things that Kitten was too blind to see. Nonetheless, the laser kept firing every so often, so the group had to keep Robin from being hit by the laser.

As Kitten laughed while a distance away from the pivoting laser, Chang concentrated on firing constantly. He was so focused that he ignored a fly that landed on his shoulder. He should have paid attention, however, as the fly on his shoulder was distinctly green. Too late he realized that, as the fly transformed into a small monkey, which immediately wrapped its arms around his head, using its body to block Chang's view. As Chang cried out and flailed wildly, his hands hit the buttons on the console, as well as shifting the lever on it back and forth. BeastBoy leapt off and transformed back, as the laser began to act wildly unpredictable, firing and pivoting at random. The laser shot off in one direction, hitting Kitten square in the chest, knocking her back onto the ground, out for a little while. As the laser began firing everywhere, while Chang tried unsuccessfully to regain control, it fired at the walls and roof, causing parts of the building to begin falling apart. Everyone began dodging and splitting up as they evaded the debris. One shot dislodged a large chunk from the roof, then the next blast fired straight, hitting Starfire and knocking her through the chunk of debris, causing her to be knocked out. No one could concentrate on another, so the male Titans didn't find out for a while, that the laser fire had also knocked Raven into a pile of debris, and another blast had fired Jinx next to another chunk. It wasn't until Cyborg found an opening, and blasted his Sonic Cannon straight through the laser, blowing it up, that the chaos stopped, and the Titans could concentrate.

"Jeez. Looks like that junk got the girls..." Cyborg said.

"We need to get them back to the tower." Robin said, pulling Chang up from next to the laser, holding his arms behind his back.

"Don't worry, I got two of them." Cyborg said, picking up Starfire and Jinx, and placing them gently on his shoulders, and carrying them out.

"BeastBoy, you get Raven, alright?" Robin said, walking out with Chang in front of him.

"You got it!" BeastBoy said. He walked over to Raven, and started hoisting her up, placing her arm around his neck, and propping her up. "Up we go, Raven. Time for a little walk." he said, slowly leading her limp body out the door.

While he was walking out, Kitten was coming around, muttering to himself, her eyes still closed. "Ooh, it's all that green kid's fault!" she growled. "He's such a brat! He's a loser! He's..." she began, but stopped when she opened her eyes. As soon as she laid eyes on BeastBoy, looking back at the building while outside, she immediately changed course. "...The hunkiest stud muffin I've ever seen!" she exclaimed to herself.

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"Well, they'll be all right now." Cyborg said, looking at the girls, all laying on beds in the recuperation room of the Titans Tower.

"Yeah. That's good. Still, someone should be there when they come around. BeastBoy, do you mind?" Robin asked.

"No, I'm fine. I'll sit with them." BeastBoy said. Robin thanked him, and both him and Cyborg left the room. BeastBoy looked around quietly for a second, then took a seat and swung his leg, humming to himself.

And so BeastBoy waited for the girls to come to. It was relatively uneventful, so BeastBoy entertained himself however he saw fit. At times, he pretended to shadowbox a little. Other times, he pretended to do things he had seen in video games he had played. The rest of the time, he just sat or walked around, humming or singing to himself.

After a little while, Raven, Jinx, and Starfire all sat up simultaneously, groaning a little.

"Ugh...what happened?" Raven said to herself.

"I wanna roll with...the gangsters...but so far they all think I'm just too white and nerdy..." BeastBoy sung quietly, unaware of the girls awakening. He had his eyes closed while singing it, after all.

"BeastBoy?" Raven asked, turning her head. As soon as she saw him, she froze, hit by a sudden sensation that she had never felt before. As Starfire and Jinx saw him, they froze, too.

"Hmm?" BeastBoy said, opening his eyes. "Oh! You're all awake now! That's good!" he said happily, grinning, and getting up to each of them in turn. "Starfire, you feeling okay?" he asked kindly.

"Y-Yes...I-I am, f-friend BeastBoy..." she said. As BeastBoy walked away, she placed her hand near her heart.

"Why Jinx, you look pale." BeastBoy said, putting his face close to hers, examining her. Jinx was speechless. "Hahaha! I'm just kidding. You're always pale." BeastBoy said, grinning and laughing at his own joke. Jinx face was redder than anything anyone had seen before. "Hey, Rae. Doing alright?" he asked her. Silently, she nodded, unable to take her eyes off of him. "That's good. Well, I guess I better go tell Robin and Cyborg you're all okay." BeastBoy said, walking out of the room.

After he left, there was silence in the room. All three girls could only think of the same subject.

'Friend BeastBoy...' Starfire thought to herself.

'God, how could anyone be that attractive?' Jinx thought in awe.

'He's...He's...' Raven couldn't seem to even think straight.

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Later in the day, the girls had retreated to their different rooms. Since she had helped in the last mission, Jinx was invited to stay in the tower for a while, and she accepted the offer. While in their rooms, each girl had procured a different magazine on how to attract the man they liked.

As Starfire read carefully in her room, the article she was reading read...

Use your body to attract the man you want. Men are powerless when the female body is the weapon.

Raven had gotten a different magazine, and as such, her article was different...

Are there certain looks your man likes? Find that look that drives him wild, and he's yours!

Jinx, sitting in the room she was allowed to use as hers, read yet another article...

Be sly. Be coy. Plan ahead, and set those events in motion, and watch him become yours.

Far away from everyone else, Kitten herself sat in her room, reading her own magazine, with an article, with the same motive, but a different message...

Don't hold back! Do whatever it takes! All's fair in love and war, after all.

As each girl read these articles thoroughly, each took the messages they read to heart, and begun getting ready to use these tactics in their endeavors.

Of course, BeastBoy was completely unaware of any plans being made about him...

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

Well, that's the first chapter! I hope I've hooked some people in already! For anyone who's confused, those articles at the end there? Those are my little hints to you as to the way each of them will go about trying to attract poor BeastBoy, as well as a clue as to what kind of ways I can make them perverted.

Also, don't think I'm making those up to be cliche or stereotypical or insulting or anything. I just needed those kind of articles to make my story make sense.

Anyway, I need you all to leave me some big reviews! R&R! See ya later!