That was funny.
Here I was looking for a serious HP vampire fic (why I don't know, I have two dozen books (or around it anyway) just waiting to be read (or finished, being 50-500 pages into many of them) and then I come onto this and find it hilarious.

"couldn't have looked guiltier than if he'd been wearing a cape, holding a Dummies' Guide to Transylvania and sipping on a tall glass of A positive.", truly one of the most glorious quotes I have ever read.'
I actually thought this was (somewhat) serious until the graveyard scene.
You could have moved the whole thing to modern times with no issues, but the Dumbledore telling Harry not to be that guy is pretty great.

I found a few potential minor misspellings and such:
"they were mainly there is steal any" - "they were mainly there to steal any"
" him while Harry hide his laugh " - " him while Harry tried to hide his laugh "
"I got sunburn." could be "I got a sunburn."
"coming to the ministry over " - "coming to the ministry over a "
"He didn't that imbecile riling " - "He didn't need that imbecile riling "
" it may because he had" - " it may be because he had"
"After nearly nearly a year " - "After nearly a year "
"A unfortunate accident, surely" - "An unfortunate accident, surely"
" someone who'd she be able" - " someone who she'd be able"
"much to kill then he'd have" - "much to kill him then he'd have"
"idea if lazers were effectiv" - "idea if lasers were effectiv"

Thanks for writing and have a great day!

A very comical and well enjoyed tale. Thanks for sharing it.

Kind Regards,

EJ Daniels

I loved the shoutout to Robert Pattinson in this, giggles.

This was really creative. I loved the twist at the end.

This is the best story on this site, all the others can go home.

(Thank you for making me laugh very, very hard, and also a LOT).

one of the best crackfic of HP world.

This story made me laugh a lot. Bloody brilliant :)

This was one of the funniest crackfics I'd ever read until that ending.

Now it's one of the most... awesome crackfics? I don't know. All I know is that I really didn't anticipate the ending.

Pottermorbid?
*snort*
How about Pottermortis? Oh wait, that's Book Six, Seven, and the crap that followed.

Got a good chuckle out of this fic. Wish I would have found it on Hallowe'en.

I had this under my Favorite Stories on my profile, except I haven't been on my profile in months, so I couldn't remember why it was there, but now I'm dying of laughter and have no regrets. Literally the best.

I would be far funnier without attempts like dot com.

But even with that it was highly amusing!

In honour of The Halloween Month, I decided to read this that had been sitting in my bookmarks for some time.
The idea of the trio being bitten by a vampire and the possibilities of it is brilliant, but more so is how done Harry is as years go by, like, "I'm not going to put up with this shit for eternity".
The ending with McGonaggles was so unexpected. Wonderful.

"I swore to protect the boy," Snape hissed, unaware of Harry's impatience, "but he is such a little shit."

Oh my god, I might've died there. Forget this fanfiction, you just described the entire series in nineteen words. Or whatever.

Very amusing, thank you. Loved Dumbledore's last line to Snape most of all.

Haha, i love this.