Reevee21 Poll: Hey! Finish a song for me! Pleeease? It goes like: Na na na na na na... Vote Now! |
 Author has written 12 stories for Pokémon, How to Train Your Dragon, Warriors, Super Smash Brothers, Dragon Cave, Fire Emblem, and Kid Icarus. So HEY THIS IS WHY I'VE BEEN SUPER INACTIVE LATELY: My mom has gone back into nursing school while maintaining a part-time job. Which means I’m charged with keeping three younger siblings alive until she comes home, anywhere from 2 to 4 PM. Gee I wonder why I haven’t been typing lately – I am still getting over a case of incredibly bad mononucleosis. I’ve gotten over the gist of it, I believe, but I’m still having the occasional dizziness/verdigo/stomach issues/throat issues/tiredness/general-feeling-that-I-am-not-okay. And I can’t type while feeling like I’m gonna throw up, so…blame my immune system. Winter break is ending. It’s back to school for me, and all my social groups have suddenly gone out of hibernation all at the same time SO BASICALLY the holidays came to a screeching halt and Society slapped me in the face. I have been planning like a madman. My main focus is on more Pokémon fanfictions for the readers who follow me for my Eevee side. But I’ve also got a series of SSB one-shots in the making circling around Linky Dink and multiple original works that I juggle around. You may or may not see any of them. But be excited. ANIME. Enough said, in my opinion. I'm fifteen now; that's the prime age for anime-surfing, and sometimes I neglect my authorly duties to watch Black Cat, Bleach, Inuyasha, mulitple Yu-Gi-Oh! series(eseseses), random bouts of Pokémon, Gargantia on the Verdurous Planet, a bit of Black Butler, Soul Eater...yea, they're all eating up my time. I need more time. Or a Dialga. Everything else has fallen into a rut. With WGDitPC and its slowly-coming-along co-author chapters, Heirlooms and ALL ITS PROBLEMS (I swear, I’m gonna need to ask Light to co-write with me, it’s gettin’ hard), and the weird thing ASW is going though, I haven’t been getting anywhere. It’s a patchy time in my life. I hate admitting that, because I’m the kind of teenager who will keep chugging through an issue until she plows through the whole darn mountain, and I don’t want to complain about my life when we all have our own issues/joys/goals/Reality going on. AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FO COMPLAININ’! Though I am willing to admit defeat, just this once, when my life has been a daze since winter started. I don’t know what I’m going to do next. Maybe writing fanfiction was only a short part in time for me; I’ve been using a lot of original characters in ma plotting lately, in original scenarios, in my own self-invented universes and such. Maybe you’ll see me try out that FictionPress I’ve heard so much about and publish some stuff that could take me places later in life. …but I know something. HOI, BOB! FLIP ON THAT SUPER MOTIVATION-PUMPING MUSIC, WON’T YOU?! Heart of Courage starts playing.* I am not going to leave these books unfinished. I will post the next chapter to WGDitPC. I WILL work out Heirlooms and get it past the Melee arch. I WILL answer PMs and CONTRIBUTE to this sight instead of hanging around the archives, reading without reviewing! WE WILL WAGE THIS WAR! I WILL GET ON! AND I KNOW I CAN COUNT ON YOU GUYS BECAUSE I’VE BEEN RELYING ON YOU FOR SUPPORT AND COMEDY SINCE I GOT ON HERE ABOUT TWO YEARS AGO! YYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA – (*Stumbles and falls flat onto face.*) …I’M O-KAY! This has been Reevee21's brief message. We now resume to your regularly scheduled profile page. What’s this? Apparently, the famed writer of such great works like What Goes Down in the PC, A Smasher’s World, Childish Dreams, and Heirlooms iiiiiiisss… A DITZY, FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD FANGIRL! Hel-lo, readers of fanfiction! I’m Reevee21, but known by many names: The Eevee, Crazy Eevee Fan, Reevee-chan, Renre, I was accidentally referred to as Reech once, Nyan, Meow (long story), Reev the Great and Powerful, Reevs, Ree, Vee, Reevee—ANYWAY! I absolutely LOVE writing for games, namely Super Smash Brothers, Pokémon, Kid Icarus, and The Legend of Zelda. I’m hoping to touch in Kingdom Hearts as soon as I finish watching their cut scenes, maybe a bit of Fire Emblem, some Mother (Yes, I know it’s Earthbound for us 'mericans, but I prefer to call it by its true name), and there’s this one Captain N fanfiction that I’m going to write someday… …sooooom-where, over the rainbow… A-HEM, with that out of the way, let’s do more of a biography… I have tendencies to do the following: Uuuuuh...gee, what else can I rant about...? THE AWKWARD INTERVIEW: Name: Real name isn’t to be revealed under any circumstances, EVER. But the word ‘Reevee’ is a combo of ‘Renee’ (my middle name)(FRENCH NAMES, YEA!) and ‘Eevee’ (my favorite Pokémon), so I tend to go by that. Age: Fourteen years old. Subject to change. Other Pennames: I’m Reevee21 on deviantART and Reevee25 on Dragon Cave. Apparently, I’m not very original! Gender: Well, it's awkward and I realize that I've never mentioned it before, but I'm a girl... Appearance: Average height, shoulder blade length brown hair, hazel eyes, freckled face with a 'natural blush' along the bridge of my nose, chewed nails. Weight: Technically, since my characters' part Eevee, I guess somewhere around 100 pounds--wait, you mean my actual weight? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?! Religion (face it, you knew this was coming): Imma Roman Catholic! Theme: For the Win by Two Steps From Hell. It's all...air-y and stuff! Status: The Wild REEVEE is Confused! Weapon of Choice: Author's Wrath, Celestial Bronze Pencil (a four foot long spear of celestial bronze shaped like a pencil)(basically, Camp Half-Blood got bored), cautious insanity, and a laptop. Dragon of Choice: Timberjack, Life dragon, SkyWing, or Sea serpent Pokémon of choice: Serperior, Charizard, Piplup, Frogadier, Quilava, or Grovyle. But usually Eevee! (der, it's in my username!) Digimon of Choice: Frimon, Liollmon, Betamon Dinosaur of Choice: Ve-lo-ci-rap-tor! Hero of Choice: Spider-man, Captain America, or any of the mutants. Including Magneto. Device of Choice: Good question...I'd say my laptop. Adorable little thing, has about a trillion one-shots and dead stories, I take it just about everywhere...there's actually a dent in the space bar, I've typed so much on it! Element of Choice: Fire or DARK-NESS...NO! PARENTS!... At the moment, I'm a plain ol' Normal type, being an Eevee and all. Maybe, sometime into the future, you may see my penname as "Flareevon21" or "Umbreevon21". So BE AWARE, PEOPLE OF FANFICTION! Smasher of Choice: PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! PIT! Pit. Or Dark Pit, Roy, Marth, Lucina, Lucas, Ness, Link, Toon Link, the Pokémon Trainer, sometimes Ike or Charizard, I can murder as Robin, and Lucario and Bowser Jr. are FUN. Beyblade of Choice: ...(steps backwards)...(The wild REEVEE ran away!) Story of Choice: I enjoy thick, original, epic plots that either break or re-use cliches in ways I've never seen before. Bonus points if it doesn't have pairings, plays out some comedy in its extra time, is written by an awesome dork, and involves video games! LoZ game of Choice: Wind Waker! Though I do enjoy some Oracle of Seasons when I'm smart enough to play it. Mario game of Choice: I don't always play Mario, but when I do, I love me some Super Mario Bros Wii. Metroid game of Choice: Uh...Priiime...? Pikmin game of Choice: Three, even though I've never actually played it. Kid Icarus game of Choice: UPRISIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING-- Fire Emblem game of Choice: Shadow Dragon. Pokémon game of Choice: Heartgold, Black, White 2, Diamond, FireRed, X, Ruby, Omega Ruby, PMD: Red Rescue Team, PMD: Explorers of Time, or Pokémon Ranger: Guardian Signs. ...*mutters to self* way to be specific, Reev... Final Fantasy game of Choice: Seven...or ten...I guess...YOU CAN TELL I'M NOT IN THE SERIES because I didn't use roman numerals. But someday...just you guys wait...! World of Warcraft character of choice: ...the, uh...the...the cool one. ...Skylander: Camo or Zap. User's age: I have been on this site for 'bout a year. Quotes: WARNING! Only attempt to read my profile if you have extra time and nothing to do. I am trying to accomplish the record for the longest profile, and it's pretty darn long! For the sake of simplicity, you shall find that I have divided my profile into separate parts. Because I can randomly become a neat freak when I want to (DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO MY MOTHER O_O) RANDOM STORIES OF MY LIFE I am a proud Swordian (lifts iron sword). AmberDS was my first author I've ever followed in writings, first on the site I truly liked. Love your works, Swords! :3 What does a fox say, anyway? :3 Have you heard about Avon High School's lip dub? They combined 68 songs into one! Here's the video: :3 Your book has a long title? The longest movie title in the world is (deep intake of breath), Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead Part 2: In Shocking 2-D Which is pretty much Night of the Living Dead with a different soundtrack. Feel better? No? the longest book title is (another deep intake of breath), Per favore dite a mia madre che faccio il pubblicitario lei pensa che sono un pierre e che quindi regalo manciate di free entry e consumazioni gratis a chi mi pare, rido coi vips, i calciatori le veline e le giornaliste, leggo Novella e mi fotografano i paparazzi, entro neI privé saltando la coda, bevo senza pagare, sono ghiotto di tartine e gin tonic, ho la casa piena di oggetti di design, conosco Paris Hilton, Tom Ford ed Emilio. Passes out from lack of air* (That happens a lot, actually) (…not in real life, calm down!) :3 . look it up. Visit Wazzo TV and watch his videos. Do it. DO IT NOW. :3 }[0-0]{ Feed the hungry mudkip. :3 So I was laying on ma bed, typing/getting a timer to work, when I hear Katherine (who is playing Survivalcraft) say "I'm going to dig this huge pit." :3 When I completed SSBB, I was all like-- :3 The main reason I might start a review with 'Hoi!' or 'Hoy!' is because I love Links' younger sisters' yell. I might interrupt myself from digressing with 'SO!' because I actually do that A LOT in real life, along with this bad habit of stammering. I am not very coordinated. :3 Misspelling is just the worst, isn't it? You can spell fat words like 'contribution' and 'micromanagement' in a flash but not the trivial ones like 'the' or 'it'. Just now I actually spelt 'Fanfiction' as 'Fancifton'. :3 I had this eight-year-old boy walk up to me once (well, skate up to me, I was at a skating rink at the time) while I was wearing my awesome golden Triforce t-shirt, and he says to me, he says: “I thought girls weren’t supposed to like Zelda?” …heh…heheheh…hehehehehe, hahahaha, HAHAHAHA, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! :3 Sometimes, I have conspiracy theories that my friends are actually people I know on Fanfiction. For instance, I have a good friend named Abigail IRW and Ayako Zetra's name JUST HAPPENS to be Abigail. These conspiracies lead me to believe they have just as large a nerdom as I do, thus making it awkward whenever I reference something. …it also makes me realize I get very, very lonely. Maybe I am literally part Eevee and need someone to constantly love me...? :3 My hair has gotten pretty long over the three-year-period of which I’ve been growing it out, and so some of my closer friends end up braiding it or something when I’m not looking or am totally focused on something. I tend to fall asleep when they do so and run into walls after trying to get up. It's weird. ANYWAY! Now I want to cut it really short so I can cosplay as A CERTAIN ANGEL, but I don’t wanna break my buddy's hearts…or seem like some weird freak who’s trying to pass herself off as the girl with the long hair… …the choices…the choices *pulls at hair* :3 Whenever you start planning a sequel for a finished book, don't you always think of that 'We're Doing a Sequel' song from Muppets Most Wanted? …We're doing a sequel :3 Have you ever listened to the Legend of Zelda theme on acoustic guitar? Heaven on earth. Actually, everything is heaven on earth when played on a guitar. I, too, am heaven on earth when I'm played on a guitar, but that is not scientifically possible and I don't like most guitar music, anyway. :3 I have a deviantART account, and I’ll spend hours just looking through art other people have made. It makes my fangirl side completely freak, which I love, AND IT’S ALL SO PERDY! :3 So...I'm going to do it. I am going to post a Captain N story. :3 I will have achieved infinity when someone stops reading What Goes Down in the PC for a quick run around their house, laughing all the way. JINGLE BELLS, FLAMERS SMELL, SWELLOW LAID AN EGG, DASHING THROUGH THE HOUSE, :3 If you saw me with my family, you wouldn't think I was related to them. You know why? I AM THE ONLY ONE IN MY FAMILY WHO DOESN'T WEAR GLASSES. This includes my parents, grand parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces, and great-aunts...I feel so alone... :3 I think I'll let you in on a bit of Reev's-household's-ease right now. Ya see, we're all nerds in my family, so we use a lotta metaphors and such...I'll try and remember them: "Stop chewing like that, you look like Shulk." - I let Katherine watch some Xenoblade cutscenes, and we kept cracking up about that ooooone digital glitch in which Shulk is chewing a sandwich...YET THE SANDWICH ISN'T GETTING ANY SMALLER. Fiora can make magical sandwiches! "PKaaaaaaay LOVE!" - Frequently shouted before someone tackles someone else in a gesture of love. Usually with me as the victim, since I'm so darn tall. "Goodniiiiight...*really quick* Pit/Palutena/Viridi!" - We each have nicknames for each other! I am Pit, because I cut my hair all short 'n all; Katherine is Viridi, since she's blonde, and hates being dubbed so in public; Doreen is Palutena, simply because that's pretty much the only major character left. She also has the fluffiest hair... "Can we go see the other guy in the forest?" - I played a demo of Ocarina of Time via SSBB, and happened to talk to...who was it, Saria? Or was it some other Kokiri? Anyway, my four-year-old sister Adele fell in love with whoever-it-was and cried for an hour afterwards because we never went back to talk to "the other guy in the forest". Even after the demo ended. "HAWT SPREEEEEEEEEENG!" - Shouted right before something or someone is leapt on dramaticlly. I show them a fan animation of Pit jumping into a hot spring ONE TIME-- News reporter voice* "And now, we get rare footage of the rare and endangered (*insert thing here* *frequently me*) in its natural habitat..." - We have a weird obsession with this stuff. It's probably from all the comedic portrayals of news reporters/nature documentary narrators. ...also I'M INTERESTING YYYEAAAAAAAA!! "Well excuse me - " "Princess!" - We watched a lot of old '80s cartoons on Netflix at one point, and some of them never really rubbed off. Katherine is normally responsible for the "excuse me" part, I usually add "princess" from a room away. I think she hates it. "Alright, Renee, remember how to make a ham and cheese sandwich? Oh, hey, don't panic! Don't panic! It's just bread...and ham...and cheese. Got that? Bread, ham, cheese. You've got this. I believe in you." - At one point, on a Sunday night, my mom asked me to make a ham-and-cheese sandwich for my dad. Except I was half-asleep on her side; I ended up muttering "I don't know how to make a ham and cheese sammich...". It became a joke for a few weeks after that, to the point where mom would write down "ham and cheese sandwich" on the lunch board (I make lunch when she's not home), and when she calls in to check on us, I'll say, "But I don't know how to make a ham and cheese sandwich!" :3 X3 ;3 ... RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW AND DON'T WANT TO BUT ARE ABOUT TO ANYWAY: I was introduced to Pokémon at 8, when I say my cousin playing Pokémon Diamond... or Pearl. I can't remember. I first encountered Ninjago on weekday mornings, Cartoon Network, after Pokémon was on. We hated it then... My pet guinea pig's name is Susan Never liked anime besides Pokémon and Digimon... Who's George Bush? I have a bad habit of loving everything after spending five minutes with it/them I had a pet water balloon named Violet...who died in the freezer. SHE WAS SO YOUNG! My favorite bulborb is the Whiptounge Bulborb from Pikmin 3 Everyone should eat a Monster Cookie before they die. I have a love-hate relashionship with roller coasters I saw Jurassic Park at 12. Breakin' the law, breakin' the law-- I have no wisdom teeth and said I felt sorry for the cats when I woke up after surgery. Can't remember why. I also have a love-hate relashionship with Me TV. My favorite movie of all time is HTTYD! But Peter Pan comes as a close second... I kidnap the sunday comics before anyone can so much as GLANCE at them. I have yet another love-hate relashionship with heights I have no love intrests...besides Lloyd. Sometimes, things just make me so angry that I just wanna pick up the nearest person to me and THROW THEM into the BOTTOMLESS ABYSS of NOTHING! (dramatic thundering noises)!...Wait a minute… I didn't know how to pronounce Riptide in Greek until about a week ago. I think 'Heart of Courage' by Two Steps from Hell is the greatest piece of dramatic music I've ever heard. First Nintendo game I ever watched? ...wait for it...WAIT FOR IT...Ocarina of Time at age five. I...HAD A DREAM...ONCE... That the smurfs (yes, the smurfs) took a bath and Papa Smurf had a hole in his pants that was covered in bubbles. Then they went into an elevator leading to this huge, gold living room where my Dragon Cave white dragon, Frost, was sitting on the couch, looking out the window. That Kai, Cole, Lloyd, Jay, Zane, and Lucas (from Mysterious Waters--I dream of other people's OCs now?) were driving around this broken-up continent in their vehicles for...something, couldn't remember what. But it was really just a movie, and when I was done watching it I drove home through a storm to a calico cat. The movie was, however, a good story idea. That I was Link in twilight princess and I saved Lucas from being obliterated by shadows, sacrificing myself, then Minda came and turned me into a wolf, then I had a time skip and Zelda found me the next morning as a human (err, hylian) so we went looking for gifts because she thought I had been possessed by a demon or something. And we did. AND IT WAS AWESOME. AND I NEED A LOZ GAME REALLY BADLY NOW. That Pit gave me a light blue 3DS and I played Uprising on it. Or at least wanted to...WHYYYY DID IT NEED TO ENDDDD?!?! That I was Elsa and while I was running towards Anna I got tranquilized in the shoulder, arm, and neck (and literally lost all feel in those parts for the rest of the dream) and was kidnapped by...someone. (shivers) That some Gary Stu was declared too fast by…news reporters? I dunno, it was more of a nightmare… That I stopped by McDonalds in a car with my three-year-old sister, Adele, and it was all...FNaF themed...it was dark with this one spotlight in the center, some guy in a Freddy costume in the corner, a bunch of idiots standing around...*shivers*. MOVING ON, I dreamed myself in the cockpit while driving down a local street in the middle of the night, Adele still in the backseat. And I was all like, "DRIVIN' MY OWN CAR, YEA, DRIVIN' MY OWN CAR...DRIVIN', DRIVIN', DRIVIN MY OWN CAR!" That I was in a red-black void of swirly colors (like Gigyas, except a lot less scary) and looking down at the back of an Enderman, then it appeared behind me and I turned around and looked right into its face...and it gave me a rose. Needless to say, I'm no longer afraid of Endermen. That I left on a bus which was going to camp and ended up sitting next to my two best friends, but I was in my pajamas and I only had a pillow. None of the important stuff like soap, extra clothes, shampoo, and books, NOOOOOOO, just my pillow pet dolphin! 'Course, my best friend offered her cartoonishly oversized shampoo to me! Then I woke up...and wrote her a letter. That, after a rainbow of random scenes that all took place in the afternoon (I think I saw some of my favorite fandoms at certain points, but, eh), an angelic-looking fifteen-year-old with long, flowing blonde hair and intense light effects behind her showed up. It looked just like Faith (ASW), she spoke in a voice that sounded what I imagine Faith to sound like, AND she was wearing EXACTLY what I thought she would! White blouse with violet, twilight, and marine flowers on it! YEA! I DREAM OF MY CHARACTERS NOW! ...granted, I was woken up a few seconds after she showed up, at five thirty AM, by having my bedroom lights turned on full-blast...OH WELL~! CLASH OF THE FRANCHISES I COULDN'T FOCUS ON MATH BECAUSE- WHAT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT IS THE FEAR... I AM AN EEVEE Flareon: I am still a newbie on the inside ?: ...and I can be all these things... Everyone: (LOOKS OVER) Eevee: ...if I'm given enough time...if I find enough experience...if the reviews invite themselves...if the writers type like they say...if the ideas keep flowing. Then I'll be something of my own. Vaporeon: ...that was some deep stuff right there. Flareon: You guys wanna grab a burger or something? Umbreon: UGH, YUSSS, there is absolutely NOTHING on the archive. Espeon: Jolteon wants fries. JOLTEON: I WANT FRIE--OH. Eevee: *Rolls eyes* WORDS TO LIVE BY (or, good phrases off the internet) "Don't ask them questions; it might possibly kill you."-Lotuspaw of Stormclan "WHY DO I GO ANYWHERE WITH YOUUUU?!?!"-multiple characters riding on something fast "I'm like a prickly pear!"-graystripe, warrior cats spoofs "Everything is awesome!"-The Lego movie "I'm a prickly pear, I'm a prickly pear-"-graystripe, warrior cats spoofs "You can't put aging cream on a 5-year-old, she'll disappear!"-berdgrum, Jessie "We are so hooped!"-Jay, Ninjago "Blue? it's my favorite color!"-Nya, Ninjago (I hear ya, girl.) "This does not compute!" (twitch, twitch)-Zane, Ninjago "May the force be with you."-Obi wan canobi, Star wars "There has been a failure ON THE INTERNETS."-LOL cats poster "WHAT."-my older sibling Laura "Hey look at me, I'm-"(CRASH!)-me at the ice rink (I fell 6 times before I got it.) "The last time America was in Germany and we saw someone standing above everyone else, we had a problem."-Captain America, The Avengers "Never giving up, so hold your head up-"-Pokémon theme song "Dude hey dude dude hey dude hey dude-"-Amberdiamondswords "Bringing dinosaurs off this island...was the worst idea...in the long, sad history of bad ideas."-Jurassic Park 2 "WELL, THEY TRY TO GET OFF THE ISLAND, BUT SOME INEXPLAINABLE FORCE, KNOWN AS THE HUMAN COMEDY TV, PREVENTS THAT!"-me, in response to why the Gilligan's Island crew doesn't get off the island "Weren't there always four clans in the forest?" "no, Firestar. there were always five."-Bluestar, the darkest hour "Pain. love it!"-Hiccup, How to Train Your Dragon "A gggggggirl?"-Pokémon comic "You're right! The natural response for women is to scream!"-Phil the Panda 7 after seeing me about to get hit with a basketball "Okay, if I turn purple then you know not to eat them!"-Tai, Digimon (lovely way of experimenting -_-) "Throw a blanket over it!"-Catbug "Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make a plane."-Philosiraptor "The sentence on the bottom is false "If a tomato is a fruit, then is ketchup a smoothie?"-Philosiraptor "In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some divine force is really trying to mess up your day."- Percy Jackson "ACK!"-Several character's exclamation of surprise "Hey, nice house you got there. Be a shame if something happened to it..."-Creeper meme "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do then by the things you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."-Mark Twain, Minecraft end quote (I don't play Minecraft, but I like this quote!) "The duration of a film should not exceed the capacity of the human bladder."-Alfred Hitchcook "Make like Elsa and Let it go!"-me, after hearing my sister complain for the twentieth time. "How am I supposed to find the link? your profile is like six feet long!"-Phil the Panda 7 "I can fly, that therefore makes me superior to all of you."-Yoshi caption '--!' "Gosh I'm glad you're a mute."-Navi to Link, Zelda OoT comic 48 "LIBBUBATION."-Melifluousness, Ears to Hear Us "Katherine, this is where logic comes to fight, burn, and die in a hole."-Me, narrating my gameplay in SSBB "ZIP IT, FLETCHER!"-Olive, A.N.T Farm "This is also where rights go to die. This game is the graveyard for logic and rights."-Me, still narrating my gameplay in SSBB. "Hey, princes can be graceful!" *Cough cough Marth cough cough*--Me during an Apples to Apples game (four choices for graceful and she DIDN'T PICK PRINCE.) "...that was the cheeziest thing ever said--what just came out of my mouth?!"--AGT act "It takes COURAGE to seek the WISDOM that leads to POWER." -motivational. More LoZ references it is. Kat--"...Renee, something is wrong with you." "With the power of teamwork, we have destroyed man's mortal enemy, CARDBOARD!"--Chuggaaconroy, Pikmin "...Go, Zelda!" "IT'S LINK!" --The Musical Legends of Zelda - Tales of the Wind Waker But if you haven't realized, there's a lack of logic around this area." - Mewtwo, LilacFoxGirl1's story Olimar's Experiences on Guard Duty "Weeeeeeeeeee HAHAHA" -BobbyF, Scratch "They're totally not dying! We're shooting lollipops at them and making them explode into strawberry jelly!" - A cousin of mine hilariously trying to cover our tracks while we're watching a Call of Duty game. With a ten-year-old in the room. "DON'T MAKE RED JELLY COME OUT OF THE PEOPLE." - Same cousin after leaving me with the Xbox. "Go, hot blonde pirate guy, go!" - Yea, still the same cousin. This time it's an Assasin's Creed game, if that counts! "...WHO STOLE MY DONUT?! Whoever I see next I will blame for taking my--...oh. Monoliths don't have energy. It's okay, Monolith, I forgive you!" - Chuggaaconroy playing Kid Icarus: Uprising "Hey guys, what's up--" (accidentally hits Redead with Reflect Shield) "Crud sorry didn't mean to kill you--" (kills another while turning around) "Oh jeez--" (Kills another while turning around) (kills last one while turning to face it) "...EVERYONE I APOLOGIZE TO DIEEES!" --Chuggaaconroy, Majora's Mask "Oh, the joy." --several character's sarcasm "You'll taste the bitterness of defeat...right after Robin...gets the...smash ball." --Chrom, Super Smash Brothers 4 (Support conversation) "Liberty. Reason. Justice. Civility. Edification. Perfection. MAIL." -- Homestuck narration "Who put this campfire here?! Who does that?! Augh!" -- Kirbofer, TOME "This thing all things devours: Birds, beasts, trees, flowers; Gnaws iron, bites steel; Grinds hard stones to meal; Slays king, ruins town, and beats high mountain down.” - Gollum, The Hobbit Me: "I hear that when you get a stroke, you smell toast." "A writer is a person who cares what words mean, what they say, how they say it. Writers know words are their way towards truth and freedom, and so they use them with care, with thought, with fear, with delight. By using words well they strengthen their souls. Story-tellers and poets spend their lives learning that skill and art of using words well. And their words make the souls of their readers stronger, brighter, deeper.” ― Ursula K. Le Guin THE PRE-COPY-AND-PASTE SECTION (it's that big.) Copy and paste this if you love cookies, waffles, and cake. (:) ] Copy and paste this if you love bulborb. (arf, arf!) Copy and paste this if you think Pikmin have an advantage against everyone else (bow to your flower king!) 98% of the world would have a breakdown if Justin Bieber was on the top of the Eiffel Tower saying he's gonna jump. Post this if you're part of the 2% sitting in the front, eating popcorn while yelling, "Do a flip!" Copy and paste this if you BELIEVE YOU CAN FLY!!!! Copy and paste this if Pikachu has lost weight since 1998. Because he obviously has. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews in your email, paste this into your profile. If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours. If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. (ha.) If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you hate girly-girls or people who think that they are everything, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile. (talk to the level 75 Serperior, boys.) Less than 1 percent of female teenagers don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE! If you love writing, copy and paste this into your profile Only fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. fI you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie 98% of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2% that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like reading fics, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a crush on a tv show character, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile and add your name. AlukaKaiserin (i love my fox...), rubyqueen808 (give me a break, i've had Little Kitty since I was born!)Johan's Lover43v3r (I always hug my bunny plushy) Animehime20 (My stuffed seal I've had since I was 1) serina-phantom (My seal XD) AnimeCat92 (I LOVE my kangaroo plushie!) Leafeonlover (I have a pikachu plushie which I love YaY and a teddy I've had forever), MitzvahRose (Stuffies need love too!), Kayla Edwards (Geez, how many stuffed animals do I have? At least thirty), Zelda maniac (I sometimes hug my brown bear when I get scared- then I feel 5 again -_-), The Hero of Time 1998 (I have this rabbit that I call 'March Hare'... I still have it ;D I REGRET NOTHING) Reevee21 (Husky. Webkinz Husky. Perfect to cuddle.) THE COPY-AND-PASTE SECTION because we all love those... Choose 12 of your favorite video game characters in any order and answer questions. 1) Pitidid! (Pit) (Kid Icarus) 2) Eevee (Pokémon) 3) Uh, Roy? (Fire Emblem) 4) Toon Link! (Legend of Zelda) 5) UMMM, Yoshi (Yoshi's Island) 6) A Mii! (Miiverse) 7) Lucas (Mother 3) 8) HOW 'BOUT A DRAGO (Mother 3) 9) Zoroark? (Pokémon) 10) Meh, Whiptounge Bulborb (Pikmin) 11) Cinder (Skylanders) for the heck of it. 12) Greninja (Pokémon) What will happen if 1 woke you up in bed? Reevee21: Whaddya need, Pitidid? Pit: Is my bow in here? Reevee21: Probably not...are you gonna leave? 3 walked into the bathroom while you're taking a shower? Reevee21: SWEET NAGA ROY GIT THE NETHER OUT! (Throws assorted objects) I THOUGHT YOU WERE MORE MATURE?! 4 announced he/she's going to marry 9 tomarrow? Reevee21: *Jaw hits the floor* Roy: WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Cinder: ...*jaw hits the floor* Pokémon: *GASP* YOU'RE MARRYING LINK?! Zoroark: YUSSSSSSS. 6 is lying next to you on the beach? Reevee21: *Fist bumps Mii* thanks for the sweet spot at the resort, maaaan... 7 suddenly confesses he/she is part of your family? Reevee21: OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH *GASP* DOES THIS MEAN I'M RELATED TO HINAWA *GASP* DOES THIS MEAN HALF MY NEWFOUND FAMILY'S DEAD *GASP* DOES THIS MEAN I GET YOUR DOG *GAAAAASP* ARE YOU MY LITTLE BROTHER?!?!?! ...*passes out from gasping too much* Lucas: ...uh...uuuh...*slowly inches away from body*...uuuuuuh...you're actually my third cousin twice removed... 8 got into the hospital somehow? Drago: IT'S ABOUT TIME! Reevee21: FINALLY!...OH NO. Drago: What? *being wheeled into a lab*...NOOOOOOOO-- Lucas: *Falls to knees* IT'S CHAPTER 3 ALL OVER AGAIIIIIIIIN!!! 9 made fun of all your friends? Reevee21: *punches Zoroark* Greninja: *winces* Eevee: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR DAT BISHARP. 10 ignored you all the time? Reevee21: Wouldn't I WANT a Bulborb to ignore me? Zoroark: *with black eye* Yea, I would think so...*shoves into Bulborb's mouth* Reevee21: NNNOOOOOOOOOOO-- Two serial killers are hunting you down! Quick! What will 1 do? Pit: *Shoots one with Light Arrow* *slices other* Why would you hurt another human?! Reevee21: *as an Eevee* *On Pit's shoulder* well, technically I'm not, so... You're on vacation with 2 and you managed to break your leg. What does 2 do? Reevee21: AUUGH! AUUUUGH MY GOSH IT HUUURTS! IT HUUUURTS! THE BLEEDING! Eevee: *snuggles* Reevee21: ...I am officially okay. Quick, go get help, lassie! Eevee: *runs off into jungle for help* It's your birthday. What does 3 get you? Reevee21: *in cast* *GASP* An awesome-looking Celestial Bronze sword with suspicious red stains!? How's you know? Roy: *Smirks* I know people... You seem to have stuck yourself in a house that's on fire! What does 4 do? Toon Link: *Shoves me into barrel of water* *kicks barrel out of house* *jumps out of window* Reevee21: OW OW OW OW OW OW DID I MENTION OW--Thanks, Link!--OW OW WOW OW-- You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 do? Yoshi: *Gives thumbs up sign while holding camera* Reevee21: *in Zelda cosplay outfit* Fiiiine...*runs through big crowd* LIIIIIIIIIIINK GANNONDOR'FS AFTER ME HEEEEEEEELP!!! You're about to marry 10! What is 1's reaction? Reevee21: Hey Pit I'm gonna marry a Bulborb! Pit: *Breaks out laughing* ...wait, you're serious? Reevee21: Yea! He got me an engagement ring and everything! You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up? Lucas: Been there, done that, lotsa heartbreak where I come from. Reevee21: DAT'S MY NEWLY-FOUND BRO. Lucas: *Facepalms* You compete in a tornament. How does 9 support you? Zoroark: *Still with a black eye* I hope this leaves by my wedding...WHO-HOOO! GO, REEVEE! MAKE 'EM EAT THAT PENCIL! Reevee21: *Shoves pencil down enemy's throat* *Solutes to Zoroark* You can't stop laughing. What will 11 do? Cinder: *Holds up Helium mischeviously* Reevee21: What are you-- Cinder: *sprays Helium in Reevee21's face* Reevee21: ... *really high-pitched* Well that didn't do--HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH HAHAHA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA AAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHA--*Passes out from lack of air* 1 is all you ever dreamed of. Why? Reevee21: *Dreamily* He's cool-looking, he's immortal, he's the last of his kind, he's a soldier, he's hilarious, he's on the light side, he acts my age for some reason, he can fly, he has a disability, he has an evil clone *continues ranting about Pit* Pit: So...she likes my backstory? 2 tells you his/her deep feelings for 9? Eevee: I just...I just look into her eyes, the beautiful chrisom pools that bubble with laughter, warmth, and blood force trama (a black eye)...and I see myself. I see a fellow fox, another fluffy critter, someone with an ink-black heart in dire need of a brown, furry washcloth. To dry her tears, to snuggle with at night, to-- Reevee21: OOOOKAY, MY LOVESICK FELLOW EVINE, TELL THAT TO HER *Shoves toward Zoroark*. You're dating 3 and he/she introduces you to his/her parents. Would you get along? Roy: Mom, dad, this is Reevee21, a crazy author with far advanced technology than us that wields a large spear of celestial bronze and happens to be part Eevee. Renee, these are my parents. Reevee21: Hi! (Wait, I'm dating Roy?)...um...hey Roy? They passed out. Roy: Why would they do that? Reevee21: Maybe at the fact that you're A) dating at age 15 and B) dating a thirteen-year-old, somewhat-insane person from the future. Roy: ...what ever happened to that hundred bucks Ike was gonna give me for doing this...? 6 appears to be a player, breaking many hearts... Mii: Hey gal's what's-- Reevee21: YOU HAD ME AT THOSE EYES. 8 thinks that he/she will never get a boy/girlfriend. What do you tell him/ her? Reevee21: Hey, just because you're the last of your kind and had a cyborg father doesn't mean you won't get a date! ...what did I just say? Drago: I'LL NEVER FIND LOOOOOOOOOOVE-- 9 is too shy to face you in public and confesses their love by sending you an email. Now what? Reevee21: *Gaping at screen* ...*typing back* Don't you have a husband already? *sends* Ba-ding!* Zoroark: *Email message* We broke up after Zelda broke his nose. You spot 11 kissing 1. How do you respond? Reevee21: *Throws up* BLAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH...*Throws up again* BLAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHH... Pit: Why were we kissing? Cinder: Oh, we weren't, I was just sending electricity down your throat. Pit: YOU WHA--*is shocked viciously* AUUUUUUUUUGHGHGHGH!!! Reevee21: *Still throwing up* BLAAAAAaaaarrrgh...when did I eat carrots...? You notice 5 and 6 have been inside that motel room MORE than a few hours. What are you thinking? Reevee21: Whadya think got them sidetracked? Yoshi: *At all-you-can-eat buffet with Mii* Hey, did we tell them we were at the motel? Would 2 trust 5? Eevee: NO. I trusted a Tyrunt once, it was the WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. 4 is bored and pokes 11. What happens? Toon Link: *Pokes Cinder with Wind Waker* ...Hya? Cinder: *Shocks Toon Link viciously* If 5 and 1 are forced to go back to school together, which study will they pick? Pit: Pfft, mythology, obviously! Come on, people! Yoshi: *points to History* If 6 and 3 cooked dinner, what would they make? Mii: Whatever Miis eat! Roy: Roasted pheasant! Everyone: *Gaping* Roy: ...what? I meant the bird! What did you think I--OH, HEAVENS NO. If 7 and 9 applied for a job, what job? Lucas: A psychic, obviously. Zoroark: An illusionist. Enough said. If 8 gives 5 a haircut, is that okay? Yoshi: ...I don't have hair. Drago: *facepalms* If 9 sketches what 6's perfect girl should look like, will 6 be happy? Zoroark: I, uh...I drew a Mii! Mii: *Still a heartbreaker* She's just not good enough for me... 10 and 9 are blushing while they talk. What is their conversation about?o Reevee21: A bulborb and a Zoroark? Probably girlfriends and boyfriends. If 2 sent a message to his/her BF/GF but 9 got it, what would happen? Eevee: As mentioned before, she is my girlfriend! Reevee21: I THOUGHT HE WAS MY BOYFRIEND!? IS ZOROARK A GUY OR A GIRL?! Zoroark: I'm a girl. Reevee21: ...*punches again* Zoroark: OW! MY GOOD EYE! 5 and 6 have a workout together? Yoshi and Mii: *Working out at the gym while Eye of the Tiger plays* Reevee21: *Still waiting at Motel* Who would you kiss, kill, or marry out of 9,6, or 5? Reevee21: I'd kiss Yoshi-- Yoshi: *Fistpumps* Reevee21: Marry the Mii-- Mii: *double peace sign above head* Reevee21: And kill Zoroark...if I haven't already. Zoroark: *wearing bandage over black eyes* it's so dark... If 1, 3, and 4 were a band, what do you think they'd be called? Reevee21: Pit, Roy, and Toony? YOUNG SWORDSMEN! Why is 6 afraid of 7? Eevee: HE OUTRANKS ME IN BACKSTORY AND GOOD-LOOKING POINTS! Reevee21: *hugging Lucas* And he's my brother! Lucas: No, I'm pretty sure I'm not. Do you believe 8 and 9 would be ever more than friends? Reevee21: ...*sparkles in eyes* YES. Could 1 and 6 be soul mates? Reevee21: ...*Flames show up* NO. What would 4 envy about 5? Toon Link: *he's more green than I am!* 3 falls madly in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens? Drago: *Eats Roy* *chew*...*chew*...*chew* Mii: HE WAS BEAUTIFUL WHY DID YOU DESTROY HIM?! 1 decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what happens? Pit: *fighting off vegetable monsters like in Palutena's Revolting Dinner* AND THIS, AUSIENCE, IS WHY I HATE COOKING! You and 10 go shopping. What do you buy? Reevee21: Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword, Mother 3, Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, Wii U, some Pokémon games, popcorn, Link's outset island outfit, and some earings! Whiptounge Bulborb: ...*grabs a package of dried Pikmin sprouts* If 4 and 7 started dating, what would 3 do/say? Roy: Ugh, two guy blondes doing what two blondes do. Reevee21: Gross! Bro, get out of that situation! What is your reason to kill 5? Reevee21: *holding up knife* HE MADE TOONY JEALOUS. Who would 3 jump in the way of a bullet for? Roy: Marth and the other guys, maybe my once-girlfriend-- Reevee2: Awww! Roy: --and a fellow noble. Cinder: ...PFFFFT You're Roy-alty? Roy: Yes I am...I get that a lot. You and 2 team up do something, what is it? Reevee21 and Eevee: TO SPREAD EEVEE HUGS! 2 and 10 manage to kiss; on accident. What happens? Reevee21: *Throws up again* BLAAAAAARGH-- Eevee: He's eating Roy! Zoroark: *still has eye bandages* WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW?! Greninja: Hey, remember me? Everyone but Roy and Bulborb: NOPE. You get in a fight. Would you rather have 3 or 5 as your partner? Why? Reevee21: I'd rather have Roy! He has a SWORD! 9 asks you out. Decline or accept? Zoroark: I swear, this won't be like the email-- Reevee21: *Punches in the face again* Zoroark: *SOB* WHY DON'T YOU LIKE MEEEEEEEEE!?!? How would you react if you saw 8 and 10 in a closet together with a rubber ducky? Drago and Whiptounge Bulborb: *Chewing on duckey* Reevee21: Is that my duck?! Everyone gangs up on 3. Does 3 stand a chance? Roy: *Standing on pile of dead bodies* YES. *stabs sword through pile* YES I DO. 3 has to marry either 8, 4, or 9. Who do they choose? Roy: Uuuuuuh...Nine? Zoroark: The heart breaker strikes again! 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2's release? What is it? Lucas: *Holding knife to Eevee's throat* HAND OVER THE FRUIT. Yoshi: *Drops fruit, hands up* What do 6 and 7 have in common? Mii: We're so...so manipulatable... Lucas: *Eating apple* 9 became a singer? Zoroark: We could have had it aaaaaaaall, rolling in the deeeeeeep, you left my heart in-- How would you bribe 6? HEY MII! Come here, Mii, come here little Mii, I've got an Island Flyover trip waiting for you, come on, come on you cute wittle Mii... Mii: *Facepalms* If 5 was in the Dictionary, what would be the definition? Yoshi (Noun): 1-Any indivigual of a large species of cartoon dinosaurs 2-The chief of all Yoshis, whom was one responsible with uniting the famed Mario Brothers as twins. 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good? Lucas: HEY GUYS! Want some pie? Yoshi gave me the fruit for it! Eevee: More like you demanded it on my life, but okay! 8 and 3 go camping and forget to bring food. What happens? Drago: *Knawing on tree* KNASH, GNASH NASH, GNASHETY, GNASH KNASH, GNASH-- Roy: *Stares awkwardly* If you give 3, 8, and 5 a cookie. It's 4's birthday and his/her best friend 8 throws a surprise party and everyone comes. What does 4 do? Drago: SURPRIIIIIISE! Toon Link: EEEP! *Passes out from happiness* I've never heard a Link make such a sound! Roy: Me neither, but let's go with it! You have a slumber party with 3, 7, and 9. What happens? Roy: This is awkward since there's two guys and two girls, but-- Drago: Who ever said I was a guy? Zoroark and Reevee: *Staaaaaaaaaaare* Drago: ...I'M JUST KIDDIN'! Roy: *Sighs in relief* 6 vs 10! Who would win? Whiptounge bulborb: *Mii leg sticking out of snout* 12 has a son? Wait...Frogadier's father was a Greninja...*GAAAAASP* Frogadier: Hey guys, whassup?! You invite everyone to your house for Movie Night! Reactions? Pit: Sweet! Would you read a 11/2 fic? Eevee: SHE REJECTED MY AFFECTION... Cinder: *Rolls eyes* 1 and 5 go and get a pet. Pit: Do you like cats? Yoshi: *Shakes head, points to dog* Who would be you teacher? Greninja: *Stabbing at whiteboard franticly* I...have no clue what you're talking about. 9's favorite movie? Your force on a date with 4. What happens? You find 12 crying in his/her room. How do you help him/her? How smart is 11? What is the square root of gravity? What time line would 8 go to? You give 3 your cat. How do you feel? :3 Well, time to give in to my mild liking of KH and take this quiz...I hope I'm Roxas...since...that's the only guy I...know... Which Organization 13 member are you most like? I. Xemnas II. Xigbar III. Xaldin IV. Vexen V. Lexaeus VI. Zexion VII. Saïx VIII. Axel IX. Demyx X. Luxord XI. Marluxia XII. Larxene TOTAL: 3 XIII. Roxas ...(bangs head on keyboard) I TOLD YOU I WAS AN AWFUL KINGDOM HEARTS FAN! Who the heck is Demyx? 'Cause i'm like him and Saïx...don't mind me, i'll just check out a Wikipedia real quick. *five minutes later...* SWEET ARCEUS I LOVE THIS SAIX GUY! *five more minutes later...* Ohhh, it's THAT guy! Meh, I like him too. Wait, is this quiz calling me lazy? :3 37 Things to do in an Elevator 1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5. Meow occasionally. 6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly. 7. Say "DING!" at each floor. 8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons. 9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them. 16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 21. Swat at flies that don't exist. 22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it. 23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off. 24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you. 25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!" 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently. 28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it. 29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..." 30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't. 31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer. 32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting. 33. Ask, "Did you feel that?" 34. Tell people that you can see their aura. 35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." 36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..." :3 Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline! If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have a bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you. Repost this if you found this funny, or wish you were the one who recorded the voice mail... :3 You know you're a child at heart when... - You still sing the theme songs from your favourite shows - You can't throw out any of the merchandise, no matter how dirty or old - You expected a Pokèmon license on your 10th birthday - You waited for your letter to Hogwarts on your 11th birthday - You watch the episodes over and over again - You still can't decide which Ninja Turtle you like better - You buy gummy Krabby Patties at Halloween - You search for Peter Pan every night - You eat the marshmallows out of your Lucky Charms - You build Pokèmon out of Lego - You still hope that a god will claim you and send you to Camp Half-Blood - You dream of going to Alledia - When you curse, you mutter Arceus - You freak out when something strange happens, claiming it to be the work of "fairies" - Every unexplainable death is the work of Lord Voldemort's spell - You still buy merchandise - You try to use magic - You write stories based off your favourite shows and post them on a fanfiction site :3 1. YOUR NOBODY NAME (take all the letters of your first name, mix them around and put an "x" where you think it should go): Eerexn (COOL! Sounds like Fennekin!) 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Renizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (fav color and fav animal): Blue Cat 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, and current street name): Maddie Reevee 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Renre 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Silver Pepsi 7. YOUR ARAB NAME (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Einance 8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (mothers middle name, dad's middle name (boy: Dad's first, girl: Mom's first)): Callcote Francis 9. YOUR GOTH NAME (black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Ruby 10. YOUR HIPPIE NAME (type your name with your elbow): frdre ndde fdrfkicdza :3 86 Hogwarts Rules: :3 School – 1953 vs 2013: Scenario: Jack goes rabbit shooting before school, pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack. 1953: Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his rifle & chats with Jack about guns. 2013: School goes into lock down, Star Force called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his ute or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school. 1953: Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies. 2013: Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario: Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students. 1953: Robbie sent to office and given six of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. 2013: Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Robbie has a disability. Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. 1953: Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. 2013: Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist. Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school. 1953: Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with. 2013: Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons. Scenario: Pedro fails high school English. 1953: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college. 2013: Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. AFRE files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bullant nest. 1953: Ants die. 2013: Star Force, Federal Police & Anti-Terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Feds investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1953: In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2013: Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. ...What kind of sick world do we live in!? :3 When you carry a Bible, the devil gets a headache. When you open it, he collapses. When he sees you reading it, he faints. When he sees you living it, he flees. And just when you’re about to re-post this, he will try to discourage you. I just defeated him. Like, Copy, & Paste this if you’re in God's Army :) One night I had a dream... I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest The Lord replied, "My precious, precious A man was walking on an old, shaky bridge. He prayed for help and saw God on the other side. He asked God to come near him and help him cross. But God didn't come. The man got angry and with great difficulty, he crossed the shaky bridge to confront God. To his surprise, when he reached the other side, He saw God holding the broken bridge. God's ways are always better and more amazing than ours. A woman received a call that her daughter was sick. She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this to help." She bowed her head and asked God to send her some help Within five minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag. He got off of his cycle and asked if he could help. She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I've locked my keys in my car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?" He said "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open. She hugged the man and through tears said "Thank you SO much! You are a very nice man." The man said "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON yesterday. I was in prison for car theft." The woman hugged the man again sobbing, "Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a professional!" :3 A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students: "Let me explain the problem science has with religion." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?" "Yes, sir," the student says. "So you believe in God?" "Absolutely." "Is God good?" "Sure! God's good." "Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?" "Yes." Now the professor asks, "Are you good or evil?" "The Bible says I'm evil," replies the student. The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?" "Yes, sir, I would." "So you're good…!" "I wouldn't say that." "But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't." The student does not answer, so the professor continues. "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?" The student remains silent. "No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. "Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?" "Er… yes," the student says. "Is Satan good?" The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No." "Then where does Satan come from?" The student falters. "From God," he answers after a few moments. "That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?" "Yes, sir." "Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?" "Yes." "So who created evil?" The professor continued, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil." Again, the student has no answer. "Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?" The student squirms on his feet. "Yes." "So who created them?" The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. "Who created them?" There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues onto another student. "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?" The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor, I do." The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?" "No, sir. I've never seen Him." "Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?" "No, sir, I have not." "Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?" "No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't." "Yet you still believe in him?" "Yes." "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?" "Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith." "Yes, faith," the professor repeats. "And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith." The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. "Professor, is there such thing as heat?" "Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat." "And is there such a thing as cold?" "Yes, son, there's cold too." "No, sir, there isn't." The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest, minus 458 degrees. "Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it." Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer. "What about darkness, professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?" "Yes," the professor replies without hesitation. "What is night if it isn't darkness?" "You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. "In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?" The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. "So what point are you making, young man?" "Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed." The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. "Flawed? Can you explain how?" "You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains. "You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. "Sir, science can't explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. "Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?" "If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do." "Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?" The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed. "Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an ongoing endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?" The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean." The student looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out into laughter. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir." "So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?" Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. "I guess you'll have to take them on faith." "Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life," the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?" Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil." To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light." The professor sat down. That student's name was Albert Einstein. :3 Really Random Joke: A man went out to buy a horse. He found one that he liked, but then the man who was selling the horse said, "This horse is special. This horse is a Christian horse." "How so?" asked the man. "Well," explained the seller, "when you want him to go, you have to say 'praise the Lord'. And when you want him to stop, you have to say 'amen'." "Okay," said the man, and paid for the horse. When he went home to ride the horse, he got on. "Giddyup!" he said, but nothing happened. Then he remembered the horse seller's words, and then said to the horse, "Praise the Lord." Immediately the horse took off in a gallop. The man hung on for dear life as the horse sped away, and gasped when he saw a steep, high cliff fast approaching. "Whoa!" he shouted. The horse just kept going. Then the man remembered what the horse seller had said, and commanded the horse, "Amen!" The horse skidded to a stop a mere two feet away from the cliff's edge. The man was so overjoyed that, without thinking, he shouted, "Praise the Lord!" :3 How to Know if You're Addicted to Fanfiction: 10. You no longer refer to comments as "comments." They are now known only as "reviews." 9. Pens are for idiots, and you wouldn't be caught dead with one. How on earth are you supposed to erase when you want to rewrite? 8. You start laughing at the most inopportune times because you remembered something funny from a fanfic. 7. You pretend to take notes, but really you're getting a head start on your latest ficlet/oneshot/idea. 6. Short disclaimers are for losers. Whoever thinks up the craziest gets a cookie. 5. You can't write for English class because you've used up all your ideas for fanfiction. 4. A great story idea isn't a story idea. It's a plot bunny. 3. You hear people talking about a ship (the water variety), and you jump, like, five feet in the air and act like you've never heard the word used outside of the fanfiction context. 2. Whenever something inspiring happens, you screech, "Ooh! Fanfic idea!" and then immerse yourself in writing for the next three hours. 1. You repost this onto your profile! :) :3 How much am I worth? Natural Hair Color: Eye Color: Height: Age: Birth Order: Drink? Vision? Shoe Size: Favorite Colors (multiple): Did you use a calculator to add it all up? Total: $3,045 Woooow...I thought I was worth more than that! :3 You are [ ] under 5'4" NATURALLY [ ] blue-eyed [ ] glasses [ ] medium length hair Your favorite color(s) are? Your personality is sometimes... You like listening to: The pets you have have or had Your confessions: Have you ever... Do you like... [ ] old movies :3 Thirty Ways to Annoy Non-Zelda Fans: 1. Yell, "RUN! THE REDEADS ARE COMING!" at very random, innapropriate times. 2. Call every Siberian husky you see "Link." if said dog responds, ask for the whereabouts of Midna. 3. Assign everybody a Zelda character. ("You're a lot like Link, you know that?") 4. Don't talk. Just yell "HIYAH!" and poke people with sticks. If possible, wear green. In short, act EXACTLY like Link. 5. Tell everyone that the spirit of Zelda is in front of them; procede to have a conversation with "Zelda's spirit." 6. If anyone asks your name tell them "I'm Shadow Link; currently possessing (Your name)'s body. 7. Stare out a window. If anybody asks, tell them "I'm sure the man out there is trying to get the Triforce!" 8. Try to kill your own shadow. 9. Draw the symbol of the Triforce on your hand; try to pass yourself of as either Link, Zelda, or Ganondorf. 10. When in some place creepy, sing/hum/play Ganondorf's theme.11. Pretend to be an Octorok by popping out from behind something and throwing a rock at the nearest person...But be sure that the person you're throwing it at has a sense of humor... 12. Try to call your Loftwing while jumping from a high place. Also be sure that there is a soft landing below you. 13. When trying to get someone's attention yell "HEY! LISTEN!" in their ear. 14. Walk into random people's homes and break their flower pots, taking whatever you find inside. WARNING: This may cause several cases of lawsuit. Chances are that you WILL be sued. 15. If someone hits you (probably from doing 1, 3, 4, 8, or 9), stand bending forward and breathe heavily. 16. Take a curved piece of wood and try to throw it like a boomerang. 17. Go over to a spot in the shade and have a conversation with Midna. 18. Be a ReDead. Jump on someone's shoulders and start violating them. 19. Throw a fit when someone upsets you, yelling that you are "Furious! Outraged! Sick with anger!" and then come up behind the person who upset you and wave you tongue around the side of their face. 20. Every time you pick something up, hold it in the air and sing the Item Get theme. "Dah Dah Dah Daaah!"21. Laugh just like midna when you hear something funny 22. State the obvious, just like Fi, and use large words and hypothesise 23. Make a rude/disappointed face when somebody won't buy something from you. 24. When someone asks you something, just talk with grunts and random noises 25. Stand in the corner, and swing a sword at your own shadow 26. Copy the Mogmas sense of style (hair,clothes,etc.) 27. After buying a game at the store, complain to the employee that the cartridge/disc isnt gold. 28. When someone gets wounded, play the song of healing on the musical instrument of your choice. 29. When someone angers you, go ballistic like the Happy Mask Salesman in Majoras Mask, OR scream just like a redead from Twilight Princess, momentarily stunning the antagonist. 30. Randomly walk out of your classroom. When your teacher catches you and asks you why you left, tell them that a princess is speaking to you through telepathy, and you have to save her. :3 Things I will not do in the Mushroom Kingdom... (Originally Created By Cloud Dreamer Girl) (Edited by TNFG and Cloud Dreamer Girl) 1. I will not tell Bowser that he's the evolved form of a squirtle 2. I will not scream BOWSER at the top of my lungs in the middle of Toad Square... 3. I will not eat a peach in front of Peach's face nor will I destroy a daisy in front of Daisy... 4. I will not tell goombas that Mario is going to get them in their sleep... 5. I will not eat a mushroom in front of Toad 6. I will not ask Mario how Rosalina is doing nor will I ask Daisy how things are going with Mr. L... 7. I will not shout THE GREEN THUNDER or any of his "other" catch phrases in front of Luigi's face. 8. I will not hum the super man theme song when I use the star power up that grants you the ability to fly 9. I will not hum the Mario Bros. theme song while walking around the Mushroom Kingdom 10. I will not ask Mario if the Great Gonzales is planning to make a comeback any time soon 11. It is not acceptable to serve Koopasta to a Koopa-Troopa 12. I will not have a simile-making contest with Dimentio. 13. I will not tell Fawful I know where The Dark Star is. 14. I will not tell Fawful that The Dark Star is underneath Dimentio's hat. 15. I will not tell Fawful that Dimentio is more insane than he is after informing The Dark Star is underneath his hat. 16. I will not push Bowser and Mario when they are mad at each other inside of Luigi's Haunted Mansion and bet on who destroys the mansion first from fighting. 17. I will not lock Luigi without his Poltergust 3000 inside of Luigi's Haunted Mansion just to see him run around like mad. 18. I will not order Mr. L to insult Dimentio's face just to make obsessive fangirls mad. 19. I will not compare Bowser Jr. to 'Mini-Me' in front of Bowser. 20. I will not question the logic of the Mario-Verse. 21. I will not steal Ludwig's piano and sell it on eBay to obsessive fangirls. 22. I cannot give Geno to Pinocchio's father. 23. I will not eat Mallow no matter how much he looks like a yummy marshmellow 24. Do not give Vivian, Goombella, Ms. Mowz, or Flurrie love-letters that are falsely addressed from Mario. 25. Also, don't send love-letters falsely addressed from Luigi to Princess Éclair. 26. It is impossible to convince Pennington that 'Luigi' is actually Mario. 27. It is also impossible to convince Pennington that he stinks when it comes to solving crimes. 28. Nimbi people are not Canadians from South Park. 29. I will not use 'faucet-face' as an insult to the Mario Bros. 30. I will not quote from old Super Mario World episodes. 31. I will not speak of the live-action Super Mario Bros. Movie 32. I cannot name a Piranha Plant Steve. 33. I cannot name Piranha Plants ever. 34. I will not give the location of Luvbi's prince to Luvbi. 35. I will not tell Beldam and Marylin that Vivian is better than both of them. No matter how true it is. 36. I will not sing the SMRPG song every time I walk through Geno's Forest. 37. I will not do the things listed in '10 Ways To Tick Dimentio Off' 38. I will not to record Dimentio's reaction after doing the things listed in '10 Ways To Tick Dimentio Off' 39. I will not lie to Waluigi and say that he has more fangirls than his rival. 40. I will not refer to eating shrooms and getting refreshing herbs as 'getting high' 41. I should not point out the fact to the characters that people write stories about them every day. 42. I will not put their reactions on Youtube after pointing out the fact that people write stories about them every day. 44. I will not insult the Koopa Bros. about being copies of The Mutant Ninja Turtles. 45. I will never make fun of Luigi for cross dressing. 46.I will not introduce guns and atomic bombs to Bowser's army. 47. I will not set fire to Mario in paper form. 48. Mr. L and Luigi in the same place at the same time does not mean that there is a time paradox. It's the end of the world. not feed the fangirls. 50. I will not tell Toadsworth that he will never find a girlfriend. 51. I will not pull a spike off of Bowser's shell and use it to pick my teeth 52. It is considered rude to steal the Koopaling's wands 53. I will copy and paste this to my profile to inform everyone :3 Ten Ways to Annoy Non-Zelda Fans: :3 COME TO MY PARTY! THE TIGHTEST PARTY IN THE WORLD! So everyone come. But read the rest of this bulletin first. Come Kick it at The Biggest Party Ever. DETAILS BELOW.. Special Guest: Jesus Christ, God The Father, Featuring DJ Holy Spirit. When: When you enter the Gates of Heaven Where: Kingdom of Heaven How: Just Ask Why: Because God Loves You! ... Come As You Are! Bring Nothing but Your Heart and Soul. 98% OF TEENS WON'T STAND UP FOR GOD... REPOST THIS IF YOU'RE ONE OF THE 2% WHO WILL. Jesus said, "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny Repost as COME TO MY PARTY! :3 North Italy (Feliciano/Veneciano Vargas) ( ) You were bullied a lot in your childhood 5/10 for Italy (half Italian?) South Italy (Lovino/Romano Vargas) (X) You love tomatoes 2/10 for Romano (TOMATOES!) Germany (Ludwig) ( ) You're very stoic and serious (Nerp.) 5/10 for Germany (odd...my family's heritage is German...) Japan (Kiku Honda) (X) You're very mature 5/10 for Japan (Awwww...) The United States of America (Alfred F. Jones) (X) You love hamburgers 6/10 for America (That's, uh...that's not a good thing, isn't it?) The United Kingdom of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland (Arthur Kirkland) (X) You like tea 3/10 for England France (Francis Bonnefoy) (X) You're very affectionate 4/10 for France Russia (Ivan Braginski) ( ) You had a very sad childhood. 2/10 for Russia (DISSAPOINT) China (Wong Yao) (X) You're very mature 5/10 for China (MORE FIVES IT IS!) Austria (Roderich Edelstein) () You are very well-raised 2/10 for Austria Canada (Matthew Williams) (X) You're often ignored by people 1/10 for Canada (DISSAPOINT.) Cuba () You smoke 3/10 for Cuba Hungary (Erszebet Hédeváry) () You have a potty-mouth 5/10 for Hungary (RRRROOOOOOAAAAARRRRR--) Prussia (Gilbert Weillschmidt) () You're quite mean-spirited 5/10 for Prussia (FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND SWEET--) I'm AN AMER-I-CAN GII-I-IRL, AN AMER-I-CAN GII-I-IRL! :3 Pick the month you were born on... 1(Jan) - I shot Pick the day (number) you were born on... 01 - a rock star I ran shirtless with a cat... What if you had a movie...? 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc) Opening credits; Let It Go by Idina Menzel Um...okay...let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore-- Waking up; Happy by Pharrell Williams Okay, that's more like it! Who isn't happy in the morning? First day of school; Feel This Moment by Pitbull EPIC FIRST DAY! Falling in love; Beautiful Creatures by Barbatuces, Andy Garcia, and Ri What is it with me and these awful names of love songs?! Fight song; Wake Me Up by Avicii I bet you five bucks that's why I'm fighting; as said above, I don't like waking up. Breaking up; Rolling In The Deep by Adele Perfect! Prom; My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark by Fall Out Boy Yesh, dramatic much? Life is just ok; Royals by Lorde That's close enough! Mental breakdown; Hey Brother by Avicii That's...really not fitting. Just--wow. Wow. Driving; The Fox by Ylvis ring ding ding ding ding dering dering (swervs really tight) ring ding ding ding ding dering dering-- Flashback; The Puss Suite YeaNO. Was I a cat in my past life or something? Getting Back Together; Firework ...:3 dat's awesome. Awesome with SAUCE! Wedding; Higher Taiz Cruize HOLY COW I HAD A POP WEDDING?! Birth of Child; Radioactive by Imagine Dragons Ow. Final Battle; Kingdom Dance by Alan Menken WHAT!? Death Scene; Theme from Jurassic Park by L'Orchestra Cinematique Oh...oh gosh...I died so perfectly...IMMA CRY NOW... Funeral Song; Lights by Ellie Goulding My death was so perfect... End Credits; Sandstorm by Darude YEAAAAAA MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE! MY ENDING IS SO PERFECT! Warrior Kitty's Smash Bros Meme 1.) Hey there Smash Bros fan! Introduce yourself and why you love Smash Bros! 'Ello my name's Reevee21, A.K.A Reevee, A.K.A Renee, A.K.A Reev. I like Smash Bros because it's a CROSSOVER! 2.) Now, tell us which Smash Bros game is your favorite. I like Brawl, all day long, gonna sing a song 'bout liking Brawl-- 3.) Who's your favorite Smash character? I have a bad habit of liking everything, but i'd have to say Marth! 4.) Awesome choice! Now, who's your least favorite? Like I said, i'm a lover, but I kinda dislike Wario. 5.) What is your favorite item? HAHAHADID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST ASK THAT?! The smash ball first, but second? Mr. Saturn! 6.) Now, write about you favorite character beating up your least favorite character with your favorite item. Wario: hey, pretty lady-- 7.) Violence! Anyways, make your favorite character do something stupid. Marth: (playing with C.B. Pencil) 8.) …Well, okay then. What's your favorite Smash Bros couple? If you don't have one, then make Pikachu attack Ike. Link and Zelda, sittin' in a tree-- 9.) That's adorable! Moving on, what are your thoughts on the Subspace Emissary? AWESOME! But I can't keep myself from fangirling every time a new person shows up. Every. Fudging. Time. 10.) How excited are you for Smash 4? (gasp) does this mean I can mess with Mega Man?! 11.) If you were to make the next Smash Bros game, what would you call it? Uh...S-Super Smash Bros...world crossed? When they go to the real world and fight IN the real world? 12.) Now do something random with the Smash characters. Peach: LET IT GO, LET IT GO-- 13.) That's the end of meme! If you have any last words, speak now or forever hold your peace. Or just make Pikachu attack Ike again. Reevee: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY...I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY...I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY NIGHT AND DAY... 20 Questions: iPod Edition-What Does The Fox Say? 1.What is your motto? 2. What do your friends think of you? 3. What do you think of often? 4. What do you think of your best friend? 5. What do you think about the person you like? 6. What is your life's story? 7. What do you want to be when you grow up? 8. What do you think when you see the person you like? 9. What do you parents think of you? 10. What will you dance to at your wedding? 11. What is your hobby/interest? 12. What is your biggest secret? 13. What do you think of your friends? 14. How will you die? 15. What makes you laugh? 16. Will you get married? 17. Does anyone like you? 18. If you could go back in time, what would you change? 19. What hurts right now? 20. If you repost this on your profile, what will you name it? What Kind of Gamer Are You? 1. An AMATEUR gamer finds a friend to trade his Pokemon with. A HARDCORE gamer buys two games and two consoles and trades with himself. 2. An AMATEUR gamer plays Star Fox 64 wherever the levels lead him. A HARDCORE gamer finds out how to play all the levels. 3. An AMATEUR gamer says the level system in World of Warcraft indicates how strong and experienced you are. A HARDCORE gamer says it is synonomous with your reputation. 4. An AMATEUR gamer (assuming he's not in Japan) waits until the next game is available in his own country, with just a sampling of rumors and information when he comes across it by accident. A HARDCORE gamer orders the game from Japan itself, whether he can read Japanese or not. 5. An AMATEUR gamer takes a surprising character development with a quick, barely emotional, "That was unexpected." A HARDCORE gamer writes nasty e-mails to the developers for ruining their beloved characters. 6. An AMATEUR gamer sees the game in its own context, taking other games in the series into account only when it's a direct sequel/prequel. A HARDCORE gamer will criticize a game for not being as good as another for the most nonessential technical aspects, especially if said game was created for an older console. 7. An AMATEUR gamer never goes higher than T (and hardly even reaches T). A HARDCORE gamer never goes lower than M. 8. An AMATEUR gamer defends against the video game violence myth by noting other contributing factors. A HARDCORE gamer says video games are saints and would never harm a fly (unless accidentally dropped on one). 9. An AMATEUR gamer knows these names: Pac-Man, Mario, Sonic, Mega Man. A HARDCORE gamer knows these names: Travis Touchdown, John Marston, John "Soap" MacTavish, Wander. (Had to look these up. Not easy.) 10. An AMATEUR gamer plays for fun. A HARDCORE gamer treats the game with a life-or-death seriousness. SANDWING /%\ HELP EEVEE TAKE OVER THE WORLD. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .HR H. . . . . . .;.;.;.;.;.H... ... .HR;.R; ;.;.;.RHHR.;.;.;.R Therefore, I MUST: I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. Show the people who think these things, even your own self, that THEY'RE WRONG. OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To This was written by Riku Uzumaki, NOT me. (But I shall miss him...) You are a... (When I bold it, it means it applies to me) CHILD OF ZEUS You like being in charge. You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt. You were voted Class President. You do what’s best for everyone. You think you have what it takes to run for President. You think every problem has a solution You love showing off. You like plane rides. You are hydrophobic 3/10 CHILD OF POSEIDON You feel at home in the water. Your favorite vacation place is at the beach. You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc. You want to do something about the marine species being abused today. You visit the local pool on a daily basis You swim professionally. You hate seafood. You never get seasick. You’d rather ride a boat than a plane. You are acrophobic. 5/10 (I'm a half half blood? a quart blood?!) CHILD OF HADES You’re not that much of a people person. You like staying in the dark and writing. (Haha well that makes me sound depressed) You experience bad moods on a regular basis. You like listening to loud, angry music. You spend most of your time alone. You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying. You like to keep to yourself. All your closets are padlocked (or you wish they could be) You write in diary/journal/blog. (This is my blog :3) You feel most active at night. 5/10 (what? again?) CHILD OF DEMETER You own a garden. You have a green thumb. You’re an environmentalist. You have a special connection with animals. You’re a vegetarian. You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world. You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly. You love going to flower shops. You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with. 3/10 CHILD OF ARES You often start fights. You’re a very aggressive type of person. You like watching wrestling. You’re competitive. You like reading about war. You don’t take * from anybody. You have anger management. You never back away from a fight. (at least, not a pokemon fight.) Everyone does what you say. You don’t always think before you do something. 2/10 CHILD OF ATHENA You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis. Half of your Christmas presents last year were books. You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it. You’re the valedictorian in your class. You’ve never gotten a grade below 80 in your report card. You get political jokes without asking people to explain them. You think it would be better if you were the President. You have a huge shelf of books at home. You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful 2/10 CHILD OF APOLLO You’re very creative and artistic. You like listening to all kinds of music in general. You always feel sunny and optimistic. You are talented at drawing You like writing poetry. You can play at least 3 musical instruments. You like going to art museums. You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests. You have straight A's in Art on your report card Your school notebook has more doodles than notes. 5/10 (AUUUUUUUU-) HUNTER OF ARTEMIS You dislike boys in general. A deer is one of your favorite animals You can shoot targets You like silver. You like the moon better than the sun Zoe Nightshade is awesome. You love wild animals You spend most of your time outdoors. You love to move around the place Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters 5/10 (COME ON!!!) CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS You have a way with tools. You build awesome things during your free time. You’re the best at Woodshop in your class. Metalworking is your forte. You have your own toolbox. You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots. You’re a techie. (you know a little bit about minecraft than most people, and your mother calls you an expert...) You often have carpentry projects. You dream of being a carpenter. You aren’t afraid of fire. 1/10 CHILD OF APHRODITE Every guy/girl swoons for you You like putting on makeup. You naturally smell good. You never experience a bad hair day. Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping. You’re always at the front of every trend. You’re the popular girl/guy at your school. You’re often invited to parties. Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.” You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis. You have a posse with you most of the time. 3/11 CHILD OF HERMES You like pickpocketing your friends. You’re a prankster. You consider yourself restless. You’re the best speaker in the class. You like thinking on your feet and using your wits. You’re inventive and resourceful. You often start arguments. You’ve never lost a debate. You like making witty and sarcastic statements. 4/ 9 CHILD OF DIONYSUS You’re the life of the party. You like wine. (I LIKE SPARKLING WATER, DOES THAT COUNT?!) You can finish a martini in less than a minute. You have a happy, cheerful disposition. You’re a foodie. You like going to social events and mingling with people. You like trying out new food. You feel that you’re abundant in life. 4/8 (Facepalm) something original by Reevee21 :3 One has not Truly Lived, till you have heard a Purple Martin's song, Author's Stats-a Pokémon-style summary of yourself Nickname: Reevee21 Girls Don't Realize These Things I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with a-holes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Msg: now that you've opened this you can't stop reading it, or close it. hello, my name is Jazmynn, I'm a site model, and I'm 16. I died on march 1st, 2008. I was raped and killed by a man named Marcus. he saw me walking one night with my friends, he put us all in his van and tied us up. he let my friends watch me get raped, then killed all of us. later, I came back and haunted him. he eventually got so scared, that he committed suicide. a boy named Collin read this, thought I was hot, but closed this message. later that night, I came by his bed, and stared at him all night, when he awoke, I smiled at him, then quietly slit his throat. I left a rose on top of him, though. a girl named Jessica read this, cried, and sent it on. later that night, I came by her bed, kissed her cheek, and left her a note saying thank you. I still come by her house every night to make sure she's okay. send this to ten people, and please let people know what happened to me.. NO SEND BACKS! Ohh Nan! ! ! HOW CRAZEE?? Ways to Annoy people at the cinema: AND NOW, A VERY INPORTANT MESSAGE FROM SAPHRIABRIGHTSCALE! VERY INPORTANT! READ IT, OR ELSE! If you're creating fanfics, press 1. If you're reading them, press 2. If you're a flamer, don't press anything cause I think you should stop thinking negatively and look on the good side! . . . Just kidding! . . . but seriously, if you do nothing but flame so much you almost burnt your house down, then you have GOT to stop and say something nice! I may not have the best stories, but I know where the worst are. I mean it has the following unattractive qualities: OOC-ness: it means out of character. Examples: Astrid being girly girly, Hiccup being a selfish jerk, Snotlout being smart, Ruffnut being nice to her brother, Stoick sipping tea while knitting some oven mitts, Toothless sharing his fish with the Terrors . . . get the idea? Mary Sue: an OC that's waaaay too perfect like: she's beautiful, smart, has amazing powers without even having to train, she's just . . .*gags* PERFECT! It's too unrealistic. Remember, it may be fiction, but it's only good if the people can actually UNDERSTAND. And it's POSSIBLE (at least, the dragons if it's HTTYD). Bad Grammar: I know the English language is pretty hard language . . . but that's what spell checks for! And beta readers (FYI, if you want me, just let me know!) Author's notes/AN: we all put them there to say "hope you liked it, don't forget to review please..blah blah blah", but none should ever be more than the chapter itself or be inserted while the chapter's going on. EXAMPLE: And he grabbed her hand and told her he loved her (AN: omg wasn't that like so cute!) Cliched plots: Truth or Dares, chat rooms, Hiccstrid (though it is awesome, etc. Saying it's your first fic: Oh my goodness that totally means I have to love it! Not. We're going to criticize you the same way whether it's your first fanfic or thousanth. Capeshe? Begging for Reviews: *raises hand in surrender* yeah I'm guilty of that, I admit it, but I'm gonna be more careful now! Begging for them like "REVIEW OR I'LL CUT MYSELF" is like: wow . . . no pressure in that at all. You don't seem crazy/desperate at all! (please tell me you found the sarcasm) "NO FLAMES PLEZ": saying that already makes people think the story is gonna suck. And it's like tattooing on your story to flamers "COME AND FLAME IT!" "Sooory cudn't think of a title"- ??????? No comment . . . Bad Summary consists of: A) Chatspeak. Example: "Hiccup and Astrid go out on a date but OH NO Alivin the Treacherous came and killed them." TIP: the way you present your summary is probably the way your story is written. When you write like the one above, people are probably gonna think that's the way the story's written. And they'll probably not read it. :( B) "Sorry...I suck at summaries...just read it!": repeat after me: The summary box is your friend. It's there for a reason. USE IT! C) HICCSTRID HICCSTRID ALL THE WAY!: Now, while Hiccstrid's a big fan fave, you gotta say WHAT the story is about, what're they gonna do, etc. But not too much; leave 'em in suspense! MUAH HA HA HA HA! . . . no but if you get them curious they might read it. Sooo . . . yeah. D) Summary's inside: again, the summary box is there for a reason. Okay guys, I'd hate for you guys to be thinking "Wow, who does she think she is?" Well, I'm just trying to help the kids not read horrible fanfics and in the future make them too. So please: think of the children. And guys, if you think my stories contain any of the above and think I'm being a total hypocrite: PM me or write in a review. If you flame me . . . yeah I'll be pretty bummed but I'll try to look at the ways that person's trying to help me. :) HERE'S A KEY FOR FF TALK! Try Not to Cry Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you If you almost cried while you read thiscopy this to your profile, and add your name to the list; Mysterious Miracle, Silverdiamond23, Peridot Tears, Katie Ladmoore, Moonstream-Warrior, Spottedpaw13, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx, InkWeaverabc, Saphirabrightscale, Reevee21 (.)/ . \ Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer. (my grandmother died of lung cancer that had gotten into her brain. That, my friends, is how I have the heart to do what I do.) Deck of Cards It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard. The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week. As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk. Just then an army sergeant came in and asked, "Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?" The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord." The sergeant said, "Looks to me like you're going to play cards." The soldier said, "No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards." The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?" "You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God. The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost. The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John . The Five is for the five virgins, there were ten, but only five of them were glorified. The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth. The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation. The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth. The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him. The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone. The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell. The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary. The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings. When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year. There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year. The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter. So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for." The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, "Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?" Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting for US. Prayer for the Military. Please keep the wheel rolling. It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it'll be worth it to read on... Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them. Bless them and their families. I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Amen. When you read this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our servicemen and women all around the world. There is nothing attached, but this can be very powerful. Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, prayer is the very best one. Do not stop the wheel, please -- just send this on. Team Edward? Team Jacob? Copy and paste this if you’re team TOOTHLESS! (or Hiccup or Astrid) Read the following lines carefully, they're not as pointless as they seem. Toothless do a dragon dance. Toothless, you a dragon. Toothless really a dragon! Toothless think like a dragon. Toothless, that is a dragon. Toothless, Toothless means 'No Teeth'. Toothless is a very energetic dragon! Toothless a Night Fury! Toothless, Night Furies are awesome! Toothless, Fury will bring revenge. Toothless, that is your fish. Toothless, will you get my towel? Toothless, tackle Hiccup so i can laugh. Toothless, Hiccup is cool. Toothless, to is better than one. Oops! Sorry, two. LOL. *blush* Toothless, the ground is soft. Toothless, ground is very good! Toothless and Hiccup are best buds. Toothless, lick the honey. It won't kill you. Toothless, him is not a good person. Toothless, out for a midnight flight? Toothless, of what person do you speak? Toothless, happiness is what gives you hope in life. Toothless, or Korak. . . .hmmmm. . .so hard to decide. . . Toothless, because it's bad for you. Toothless, he is an annoying person. Toothless wants to fly. Toothless to Vermont! Toothless, or Hiccup? Toothless, what? Now, read the second word of all the lines, and PM me with you're answer! If I didn't provide one that you like, then make it up! This is just for a joke! Mine is because he's happy. :D NORMAL PEOPLE: On a bad day will say "Today is just not my day." This is a true document: Normal people: Hear a shriek and ignore it How To Train Your Dragon Fans: hear a shriek and yell "NIGHT FURY! GET DOWN!" Normal people: see a mini Toothless figurine and say "eh, it's just a piece of plastic" HTTYD fans: see a mini Toothless figurine and scream "Oh my word! That is the cutest thing EVER! I must have it NOW!!!!!!!!!" (I did) Normal people: when asked what they need while fighting a dragon will say a weapon HTTYD fans: a doctor?! Plus 5 speed?! A shield! Normal people: when chased will call out for anyone to help HTTYD fans: Will call out for their dragon. Normal people: don't know the stats for the different dragons HTTYD fans: Nadder: Speed 8, Armor 16. Zippleback: attack 11, stealth x2. Monstrous Nightmare: firepower 15. Terrible Terror: Attack 8, venom 12. Gronckle: jaw strength 8 (thank you, Fishlegs) Normal people: What in God's name?! HTTYD fans: What in Thor's name?! Normal people: When asked how to defeat a dragon without killing it will not know. HTTYD fans: will instantly know to show them an eel, scratched them behind their head, give them some dragon-nip or reflect the light off something to let them chase it. Normal people: will buy maybe the plushies from the HTTYD merchandise or nothing at all. HTTYD fans: Will search every store for every collectible, clear a whole shelf in their room for them and make a saddle and tail piece for every Toothless plushy and figurine they have. Normal people: saw the HTTYD movie once in the cinema and maybe once at home. HTTYD fans: watch the movie again and again until they can resite every line off by heart (Example: *changes to Scottish accent* excuse me, barman, I believe you brought me the wrong offspring. I ordered an extra large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a talking fish bone!) Normal people: whistle a popular song while they work HTTYD fans: whistle the HTTYD theme while they work Normal people: don't REALLY care when the second movie is realeast. HTTYD fans: will count down the days till the premier and check youtube every day for the next trailer (cursed teaser trailers!!) Normal people: will give whatever they can to people as gifts HTTYD fans: will never under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES give a Gronckle's egg to someone. Normal people: when telling someone to change their ways, will be nice about it. HTTYD fans: will say, "You've got to stop all...this." Normal people: "Astrid? Don't you mean 'asteroid'?" HTTYD fans: *dreamily* "Astrid..." Normal people: when in danger, "we ain't gonna live!" HTTYD fans: "chances of survival are dwindling into single digits now..." Normal people: will 'keep calm and carry on' HTTYD fans: will 'keep calm and wait for How To Train Your Dragon 2' Normal people: won't really care what they use for a belt buckle HTTYD fans: will never use anything bone-like. EVER! Normal people: if you want to get yourself killed, jump off a cliff or stab yourself or something HTTYD: if you want to get yourself killed, go with the Gronckle. Normal people: wisest quote - 'learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to note stop questioning' - Albert Einstein HTTYD fans: 'if you get blasted, you're dead' - Gobber the Belch Normal people: will ignore this HTTYD fans: will post this into their profile and add their name to the list before the Red Death gets them ;) 7 Reasons Not to Mess with Small Children. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: Things to do on an Elevator The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir... Cinderella walked on broken glass. Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass. Belle fell in love with a hideous beast. Jasmine married a common thief. Ariel walked on land for love and life. Snow White barely escaped a knife. It was all about blood, sweat and tears, Because love means facing your biggest fears. (The Bold is true for me.) PREP X You own a cell phone. X You own something from Abercrombie. X You own something from Pac sun. X You own something from Hollister. X You own something from American eagle. X You love/like going to the mall. X You own an iPod/MP3 player. X You love Starbucks. x you have been called a brat. X You hate buying things that are on sale. X You have more than one house. TOTAL: 2 GOTHIC X Black is one of your favourite colors. X You have thought about death. X You wear chains. X You like heavy metal. X You’ve shopped at Hot Topic. X You have worn black lipstick. X Your hair was/is dark. X You dislike preps. x you’re an atheist/ Satanist/agnostic. Total: 2 PUNK X You can skateboard x you’ve worn plaid. X You like Converse. X You hate MTV. X You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, green, or orange hair. (streaks count) x you dislike pink. X You hate/dislike preps X you wear/wore skateboarding shoes. Total: 2 GEEK X You love the computer. X You like Harry Potter. X You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts X You get straight A's. X You love/like reading. X You were/are in band. X You have a curfew. X You always do your homework X You never miss school unless you're sick. Total: 2 ATHLETIC X You watch/watched the Super bowl X You own track shoes or other sports related shoes. X You collect your jerseys. X You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards. X You have posters or plaques of famous athletes. X Your garage consists of sports equipment. X You belong/belonged to a school team. X You are going/did go to a sports summer camp. X You have a specific number. Total: 0 HARDCORE//SCENE X You like loud music. X You love/loved the Ninja Turtles. X You never walk anywhere. X You wear slip-on shoes. X You wear/wore Vans. X You like the band Panic! At the disco. X You wear band t-shirts. X People have called you a freak and meant it. Total: 1 Pit Bulls... according to some people they are a vicious dog... apparently 45% of all dog bits in america come from Pit Bulls... apparently all dogs are vicious because of this... well you know what your wrong. Everything has a dark side... everything has a light side too... and you know what, when someone refuses to acknowledge both sides and instead just focus on one it is another form of Racism... and yet we are all against that right... and you know what 90% of people think that all big dogs... Pit Bulls especially are vicious. let's take a look at the Light Side of this dog shall we. 1993 - A Pit Bull named Woola helped save 32 people, 29 dogs, 3 horses and a cat during the California flooding 1999 - A Pit Bull named Norton guided his owner from bed to were his wife was falling unconscious from a deadly spider bite. 2008 - A Pit Bull named D-Boy who took three bullets one to the head to save his family from a home invader. and on top of all that Dogs like Pit Bulls have made supurb Police Dogs, Seeing-Eye Dogs and Search And Rescue Dogs. People are so against racism with humans yet no one even bothers to even acknowladge that this happens If you want to help stop this kind of stereotype towards large dogs then the first step is to Copy'N'Paste this into your profile! I'M THE TYPE OF GIRL WHO WILL BURST OUT LAUGHING IN DEAD SILENCE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY. Girls The boys dont want to reach This is a true story: Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addict Her parents kept her Locked in an attic Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair She always talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be In such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear And softly cries She loves her parents But they want her to die She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, "Why is My life always sinking? " Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did Then one night Her mom came home high And the poor child was beaten As hours went by Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made She thrusted the blade Right in her chest, "You deserve to die You worthless piece of s!" The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying Police showed up At the small little house Then quickly barged in Everything quiet as a mouse One officer slowly Opened a door To find the little girl Lying dead on the floor It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms (add this to your profile if you're against child abuse) You Might Be An Author If... 1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written. 2. You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters names. 3. You often imagine your books becoming movies. 4. Spell check is your best friend. 5. You give even the smallest of characters a huge background. 6. You hesitate before killing off one of your favorite characters. 7. You smile really big when you're gonna finally write a character love scene. 8. Every time you read something, you make your own story of the same thing. 9. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym. 10. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you... you just can't hold it in for so long. 11. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence. 12. You have to tell at least one person your whole story before it's even written. 13. Things that are written bad annoy you and make you want to re-write it better. 14. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself. 15. You can spell words like 'troublesome' but can't spell 'the' half the time. 16. If you're not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly. 17. You talk to yourself... constantly. 18. You forget what day it is when you're writing. 19. When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away. 20. You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc. 21. You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end. 22. You start to cry when writing about a death or other depressing events you knew was coming, and you are the one writing it. 23. When on a roll, you will ignore hunger, sleepiness, or the urge to pee until you run out of ideas. 24. If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending. 25. You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story. 26. You are in love with the Thesaurus. 27. You dream about your stories. 28. You dream of new stories. 29. You often revisit some of your old stories. 30. Someone can call your name twenty times without you hearing if you're writing. This is not my story, but if you don't read this I swear I will hunt you down: One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. You now have two choices, you can : 1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. Birth Months: JANUARY: FEBRUARY: MARCH: APRIL: MAY: JUNE: JULY: AUGUST: SEPTEMBER: OCTOBER: NOVEMBER: DECEMBER: 1. Hold your breath From someone's profile: This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? Repost this if you truly believe in God. Most girls; Are cheerleaders Other girls; Are captain of the football team Most girls; Cry, fuss, and stuff themselves with chocolate for a week after their boyfriend breaks up with them Other girls; Put a sign on their ex-boyfriends back that says; "Never gonna get any" Most girls: Learn how to bake bread and cakes from their mom Other girls; Learn how to Barbecue from their dad. Most girls; Play with dolls with their sister Other girls: Play video games with their brother Most girls; Have fits and plan revenge Other girls: Play pranks Most girls; Slap people Other girls: Punch people Most girls; Become anorexic and shove their fingers down their throats Other girls; Would down a whole bag of Potato chips and not give a fudge Most girls; Would think this was garbage Other girls: Would copy and paste this The girl you just called fat? She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Put this as you're profile if you're against bullying. I bet 95% of you wont put this on your profile, but I'm sure the people with a heart and backbone will. put this on your page if you are not embarrassed to tell others that you are a Christian YOUR GUY SIDE: You love hoodies. Total: 8 YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/stick. Total: 7 Altogether: I'm more of a guy.Read each sentence carefully. Can you get it? this is this cat this is is cat this is how cat this is to cat this is keep cat this is a cat this is retard cat this is busy cat this is for cat this is forty cat this is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. Do you get it?:) Typing your name...WITH BODY PARTS. Type your name with your elbow: r5en jmer4dedr (...ouch) Type your name with your nose: renee (yay!) Type your name with your left foot: 4renmee (four remnee?) Type your name without looking: renee (OH YEA!) Type your name with your face: (...okay...) 4re534hju3e3w (AW COME ON!!!) Imagine these ideas in a 2nd grade or younger setting. TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. (I wouldn't either!) TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher. Special thanks to Jay Nice for these ones! Copy and Paste if you LOVE to laugh (even if at yourself) LLLLLLLLLL --_--_--_--_--_--_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--_--LLLLLLLLLL--_--_--_--_--_--_ LLLLLLLLLL --_--_--_--_--_--_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--_--LLLLLLLLLL--_--_--_--_--_--_ LLLLLLLLLL --_--_--_--_--_--_OOOOO--_--_--_--_ OOOOO--_--LLLLLLLLLL--_--_--_--_--_--_ LLLLLLLLLL --_--_--_--_--_--_OOOOO--_--_--_--_ OOOOO--_--LLLLLLLLLL--_--_--_--_--_--_ LLLLLLLLLL --_--_--_--_--_--_OOOOO--_--_--_--_ OOOOO--_--LLLLLLLLLL--_--_--_--_--_--_ LLLLLLLLLL --_--_--_--_--_--_OOOOO--_--_--_--_ OOOOO--_--LLLLLLLLLL--_--_--_--_--_--_ LLLLLLLLLL --_--_--_--_--_--_OOOOO--_--_--_--_ OOOOO--_--LLLLLLLLLL--_--_--_--_--_--_ LLLLLLLLLL --_--_--_--_--_--_OOOOO--_--_--_--_ OOOOO--_--LLLLLLLLLL--_--_--_--_--_--_ LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL_--_--_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--_--LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL_--_--_OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--_--LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Are you? Fire You have a short temper. You often act on your emotions without thinking first. You are very competitive. You like to play with fire. You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all. You prefer warm weather over cold weather. You often lose control over yourself. You can be quite reckless. You sometimes hurt people without realizing it. People have often called you insane. Total: 3 Water You have a calm, laid-back personality. You like to go to the beach. You rarely get angry. When you do get angry, you know how to control it. You think before you act. You are good at breaking up fights. You are a good swimmer. You like the rain. (why do you think I call the clan Stormclan?) You can stay calm in stressful situations. You are very generous. Total: 4 Earth You are physically strong. You have a close connection with nature. You don't mind getting dirty. You form strong opinions on issues that concern you. You could easily survive in the wild. You care about the environment. You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted. You rarely get depressed. You aren't afraid of anything. You prefer to have a strict set of rules. Total: 2 Air You have a free spirit. You hate rules. You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces. You hate to be restrained. You are very independent and outgoing. You are quite intelligent. You tend to be impatient. You are easily distracted. You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying. You wish you could fly. Total: 4 Darkness You spend most of your time alone You prefer nighttime over daytime. You like creepy things. You like to play tricks on people. Black is your favorite color. (second favorite, actually) You prefer the villains over the heroes in movies, TV shows, video games, etc. You don't talk much You are atheist. You don't mind watching scary movies. You love to break the rules. Total: 5 Light You are very polite. You are spiritual. When someone is in trouble, you never hesitate to help them. You believe everything you see or hear. You are afraid of the dark. You hate violence. You hope for world peace. You are generally a happy person. Everyone loves to be around you. You always follow the rules. Total: 0 Darkness! WHOO HOO, ABSOL!!! Idiot test: 20 and you lose! (X) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking. (X) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking. You have run into a glass/screen door. You have jumped out of a moving vehicle. (X) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks. (X) You have run into a tree. It IS possible to lick your elbow! (X) You just tried to lick your elbow (X) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm. You just tried to sing them. You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen (X) You have choked on your own spit. You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it. (Never seen it) (X) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice (X) You just looked at it. Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it. People have called you slow. You have accidentally caught something on fire (X) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek. (X) You have caught yourself drooling. You’ve fallen asleep in class (X) If someone says “fart” you laugh. (X) You just laughed. Sometimes you just stop thinking You tell a story and forget what you were talking about People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you You are often told to use your “inside voice”. (X) You use your fingers to do simple math. You have eaten a bug. You are taking this test when you should be doing something important (X) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it (X) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc. You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you. You break a lot of things. Your friends know not to use big words around you (X) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused (X) You have fallen out of your chair before Total: 18. oh good! 10 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity. 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 3. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 4. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 5. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 6. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 7. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go." 8. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 9. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 10. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!! A NinjaFan Interview: 1. Who is your favorite Ninja? ...(looks around suspiciously) Lloyd! 2. What would you do if you met your favorite Ninja? Pass out, then ask for an autograph or some other fangirl thing. 3. What would your favorite Ninja do if s/he met you? Autograph my paper and ask if i'm alright, in which i'll answer "I am now!" 4. What music does s/he listen to? No clue... 5. Do you have an OC? I'm going to make one after this quiz! 6. What would your OC do if s/he met your favorite Ninja? try to stay calm. 7. What crazy thing could you imagine s/he doing? singing out in public (like I don't do that enough already!) 9. Who is your favorite Serpentine? Skales. 'nuff said. 10. What crazy thing could you imagine s/he doing? Listening to an MP3 player. Snakes hear things through vibrations in the air detected in their lower jaw, so he would be holding a music devise to his mouth. 11. What would your favorite Ninja and Serpentine do if they met each other? Fight it out! 12. Who is your least favorite Ninja? I love them all! even the hyperactive mildly annoying Jay! 13. Who is your least favorite Serpintine? Pythor P. Chumsworth. MUST KILL LYING PURPLE PYTHON... 14. If you could marry your favorite Ninja, how many kids would you have? Lloyd and I are getting married!? 15. What is your favorite Ninjago pairing? what pairing? 16. Have you ever called a Ninja hot? ...does in my head count? if so: 17. If you could be a ninja, what would it be of? The Ninja of Darkness. HEY! THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! 18. What side would you join? I'll do it Wolverine style and go to whatever side I please. My Mother Taught Me My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?" My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me." My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more." My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" go into your bedroom and do this! 1. Grab the book nearest to you, and go to page 111, Paragraph 6. What is it? Violet stayed still as a statue. (A Series of Unfortunate Events, book 1, a sentence picked out of it) 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? my sister's toy pokeball with a Bulbasaur inside. 3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? The Chew (it's a daily thing!) 4. Without looking, guess what time it is? 1:25 pm 5. Now look at the clock. What time is it really? 1:18 pm 6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? My cat taking a bath... (that was Jay Nice's thing too!) 7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? yesterday evening after PSR 8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? Jay Nice's profile 9. What are you wearing? Black shorts, blue T-shirt with fern patterns, gold colored ring earings 10. Did you dream last night? No. My weirdest dream was about graduating in a school with pet Missingno. everywhere. 11. When did you last laugh? earlier today looking at Ninjago memes! 12. What are on the walls of the room you are in? Posters of pokemon, paper scraps, an Electric Company poster 13. Seen anything weird lately? The Bad Beginning's cover 14. What do you think of this quiz? Long. is it over yet?! 15. What is the last film you saw? Epic. it's still playing in the living room! 16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? Tickets to The Amazing Spider-Man 2 17. Tell me something about you that I don't know. I like the songs Human, Dark Horse, What Does the fox say, Weekendd spin (Ninjago's theme), I can Walk on Water, and True Light. 18. If you could change two things about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Get Obama to stop being crazy. That's what mom says. and (holds up sword) MAKE A MINECRAFT THEME PARK! ENDERMAN GUY IN A COSTUME! CREEPER HUGS! ENDER DRAGON ROLLER COSTER! 19. Do you like to dance? is moving your feet very, very quickly counted as dancing? 20. George Bush. who? 21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Susan 22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Danny or Mathew REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE: 1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too) Girl Comebacks! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you. Man: Your eyes, they're amazing. Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number? Guy: I know how to please a woman Guy: I can tell you want me Guy: If you were a hamburger at McDonalds you would be McGorgeous Guy: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again Man: If we were the last people on Earth, then will you be mine? Man: Your body is like a temple Girls, copy and paste this on your profile -0-50 OR SO AWESOME WAYS TO MAKE YOUR TEACHER WANNA BACKHAND YOU!!-0- 1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.) 2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously. 3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG??” very loudly. 4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties” 5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!” 6. Flick pieces of paper around the class. 7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.” 8. Don’t do your Homework. 9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly. 10. When you have a supply teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name is Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!” 11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears. 12. When handing in your homework, write "This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds." at the bottom. 13. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.” 14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused. 15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!” 16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena 17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room 18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree!" after everything your teacher says 19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow 20. Speak in French. 21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance” 22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well 23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then." 24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelt. 25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!” 26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “The queen is never late, everyone else is simply early." 27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.” 28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!” 29. Tell yourself knock-knock jokes, then laugh loads. 30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!” 31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!” 32. Bring in a 7th Grader and says he’s your new pet. 33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb. 34. When your teacher asks you a question, just stare at them. 35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice. 36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it. 37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win. 38. Glue all their scissors together. 39. Make paperclip jewellery. I.e. necklaces, earrings, etc… 40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!” 41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’ 42. Talk to a pen. 43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T MAKE OUT WITH YOU AFTER CLASS!” 44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say. 45. Smile. All the time. 46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!” 47. When a substitute teacher is taking the register, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’ 48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down and go "OOOHH I KNOW THIS!!" 49. When a teacher calls on you say, "I forgot." To every question she asks. 50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favorite song. ADDITIONALS 51. When the teacher is not facing you, get the whole class to move their desks forward towards the him/her! 52. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught! 53. When a teacher asks you a question... Reply "ERM, COMPUTER SAYS NOOO!!" 54. When the teacher makes a statement, stand boldly and shout "I OBJECT!!" 55. REPEAT the last word the teacher says but say it much louder! 56. While the teachers back is turned, everyone swaps seats! 57. If you are sure you haven't passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart! 58. When you hear a Police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting "Oh no, they're here. Oh my gosh. @#!*% . @#!*% . @#!*% . What do I do? Miss/Sir you have to help me! Oh gosh. They must have found the body! HELP!" 59. When it's your turn to answer a question... Shout "NEXT!" 60. When they tell you to do something, shout back "Yeah? YOU AND WHAT ARMY?!" Add this to you profile if you think it's funny: Father: "You’re in big trouble Miss!" 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME, PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... EUREKA! I FOUND THE FRIEND POST!!!! FAKE VS. REAL FRIENDS: Never ask for food. BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM. FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. BEST FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying “THAT WAS AWESOME!" FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Cry with you, then beat up the sorry looser that made you cry. FRIENDS: sitting at your funeral BEST FRIENDS: sitting in jail for killing your murderer FRIENDS: help you when your lost BEST FRIENDS: steal the map, mess up your compass and give bad instructions FRIENDS: ask why your playing Zoo Tycoon at 11:00 P.M BEST FRIENDS: ask about everything in it then buy another Lock Ness Monster for you (true story!) FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. BEST FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours. FRIENDS: frown upon violence, science fiction and bloody killing BEST FRIENDS: say "sure I'll watch Jurassic Park/The Avengers/X-men!" FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography of your life... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you. FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!” FRIENDS: Are for awhile. BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. BEST FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better! FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out. FRIENDS: Will ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost it this is the Fanfiction Dictionary! Fanfic: Fanfic is a shortening of Fanfiction, a story based on, inspired by, or taken place in a franchise not owned by the author. Penname: the author's name on Fanfiction. Just be sure it sounds cool... because if you're good it'll be everywhere. DS: shortening of Dare Show. a Dare Show is a very fun torture-type book, based on dares sent in by readers through reviews. TF: shortening of Transformation Fic. often seen in Pokémon, but other franchises may have a few. Community: an author's collection of Fics based on the same topic. if you're on it, you're most likely awesome. Profile: an author's profile, or biography, is where he or she can post updates and notices about stories, some information about himself or herself, and stuff like this. Very fun }3 Post: a story, list, or funny thing/s that are commonly on a profile. To find an author with a lot of posts is to find a diamond in a desert, especially a profile long enough to take hours to finish. Dead Account: A Dead Account is someone who has abandoned Fanfiction for personal reasons but still keeps the stories up. Do not expect updates. Update: Halleluiah! an Update is an added chapter to a fanfic. they can be common or rare, depending on the story itself. for instance, a story with short chapters is going to be updated often. Follower: a person that receives updates for the story. it may or may not be a favorite for the follower, but Favorites are shown on the profile. From the only follower of Academy of Phorms: This is why Humans are doomed to die because of Stupidity: On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in the true God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost then copy and paste this in your profile Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people who read this won’t repost it? (repost it...REPOST IT!!!) If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..." I AM A PROUD CHRISTIAN. I BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST AND GOD. Camp Half-Blood pledge I promise to remember Percy I promise to remember Annabeth I promise to protect nature I promise to remember Luke I promise to remember Chiron I promise to remember Tyson I promise to remember Thalia I promise to remember Clarisse I promise to remember Bianca I promise to remember Nico I promise to remember Zoe I promise to remember Rachel I promise to remember The Stolls I promise to remember Beckendorf I promise to remember Silena I promise to remember Micheal Yew I promise to remember Briares I promise to remember those lost in the Battle of the Labyrinth I promise to remember those campers who fought against Kronos Yes, I promise to remember PJO You Know You’re a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (Yes-siree!) Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (Nope! I read it all night! Then all day!) You write fanfictions about the book. (... NOOOOO. *Sarcastic* I made this account just so I could copy and paste things to my profile) (actually that's half true...) You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read your favorite books. You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (I once meowed when my sister came into my room :3) Everything reminds you of the book. (Blueberry pancakes! Thank you Mrs. Jackson!) You quote random lines all the time. ( Yeah... we'll get back to that) You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (picking up a stick, and challenging my friend to sword fight me) You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.(Teacher: Die, honey! Me: Ahhh! *pulls out pen-sword and stabs teacher* School announcement(aka: Me)School is out because all the teacher quit!) You have pictures of your favorite characters on your tablet. You've got a book memorized. (Okay! I admit it: I'm working on it) You've read a book more than five times. (The Darkest Hour, all day long, gonna sing a song about the Warrior books-) You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (I read two in one day) You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (SPOTTEDLEAF WILL BE AVENGED!!!!) You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend. You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. (Below) You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (DIE STUPID PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I do.) Your idol is a character from a book (Yep! Percy,Will,Harry,so on and so forth) NINJAGO LOVERS OATH! whenever I feel the flakes on my nose, and winter comes around. when I feel the chill of the weather, in my mind, Zane will be found. whenever I feel overly warm, or see the glowing flames. when fire or tempers are around, i will speak Kai's name. when the flash emanates through my room, or I hear the boom that's after. when lightning is showing itself through the clouds, through my mind I hear Jay's laughter. when look at the sand or trip in the dirt, and feel the messy ground. when earth is around me, especially rocks, In my mind, Cole will be around. whenever I find a youthful girl, who is brave, strong, and kind. who is better than others think her to be, Nya will cross my mind. when I find a man, old and wise, who lectures people on end. who tries to find the facts in life, Sensei Wu fills my head. When a person is dark, and obsessed with power, who on the inside is kind who loves family dearly, yet still acts like fighting, Lord Garmadon invades my mind. when I find a child, who tries to grow up to fast. and swears to copy his father. who is actually strong at heart, my mind is what Lloyd will bother. upon seeing snakes, instead of fleeing, or looking at them with fear I smile at the snakes, even if they hiss, and think of the serpentine leaders. IF YOU LOVE NINJAGO COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE! Ten things you didn't need to know about yourself: 1: You are reading this 3: You didn't notice I skipped two 4: You are checking to see you skipped two 6: You didn't notice I skipped five 7: You are checking to see you skipped five 8: You are reading the next line 9: You are smiling 10: You are laughing 11: You didn't notice there was only supposed to be ten 12: You are checking to see that there are more than ten I bet you ten bucks you won't Copy and Paste this into your profile!!!! I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart. (I was crying my eyes out, it was so sweet. ) I am a Princess. I am brave sometimes. I am scared sometimes. Sometimes, I am brave even when I'm scared. I believe in loyalty and trust. I believe loyalty is built on trust. I try to be kind, I try to be generous. I am kind even when others are not so generous. I am a Princess. I think standing up for myself is important. I think standing up for others is more important. But standing with others is most important. I am a Princess. I believe compassion makes me strong, Kindness is power, And family is the tightest bond of all. I have heard I am beautiful. I know I am strong. I am a Princess. Long may I reign. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, Bubble Blower, panache2005, .Dr1v3n t0 1n5aN1Ty., Serenity.Jones, crystalshake, KOIZUMI MICHIYO, Eeveeninja77, PhantomGirl12, StarSapphireWolf, Black Rose Hokaru, Song Of Hope, Colorici74, DragonFang2011, BlackCatNeko999, SleepyWolf2365, Ninja-Werewolf-1699, bayboo20, Jessicup711, Reevee21 Month one Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Month Two Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Month Three You know what Mommy I'm a boy! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Month Four Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Month Five You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion? Month Six I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me! Month Seven Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile ( I cried. admit it, you got teary, too!) I am not that girl, The one that is super popular. BUT I am that girl, TEN SURE SIGNS THAT YOU ARE AN OBSESSED FANFICTION WRITER 1. When you ask yourself a question as one character and respond as another one. 2. When you begin to compare what a friend says to something one of your characters would say. 3. When you are talking to a friend and you suddenly scream, “Oh my gosh! I just got the greatest idea for a story of mine!” and your idea has NOTHING to do with what you were talking about. 4. When you lock yourself in your room, crank up the music, and act out an entire story…and then forget everything you thought of. 5. When you are listening to a song and go “Oh my gosh! This song is exactly what (Insert story here) is about!” 6. When you run around the house dancing and thinking of an idea, acting all crazy, and write the scene that turns out to be a very sad, calm scene. 7. When you fear to daydream because you are afraid of your characters hunting you down and killing you for the torture you put them through. ( Lloyd is after me... I swear he is...) 8. When you can’t fall asleep without thinking about what is going to happen in your next chapter. 9. When you begin to in vision your own version of someone else’s fanfic. 10. When you think out loud and start giggling and jumping around talking to yourself when you come up with a good idea. Warrior's Fan Oath I'll remember Brightheart, I'll remember Silverstream, I will remember Goosefeather, I'll remember Mothwing, I'll always think of Heathertail, I will think of Tawnypelt, I promise to remember Cinderheart, I'll remember Leafpool, I'll remember Brambleclaw, I'll remember Lionblaze, I'll remember Dovewing, I'll remember Bluestar, Feathertail will be in my mind, I'll remember Ashfur, I'll remember Ivypool, I'll remember Crookedstar, I'll remember Jayfeather, I'll always think of Cinderpelt, I'll remember the many battles, I don't own the poem! Dear idiots... Dear Math, Dear Math, Dear Yahoo, Dear Noah, Dear America, Dear Impossible, Dear Students, Dear The Optimist, The Pessimist, and The Realist, FOR ALL THOSE CRAZY PEOPLE: When in doubt, push random buttons! There are three kinds of people: those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. Some people are like Slinky's. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs. Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that. Best excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. Dear math, When life gives you lemons, keep them cause hey, free lemons. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. I have not yet begun to procrastinate. Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then, it hits me. I don't suffer from insanity . . . I enjoy every minute of it. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps . . . I tend to walk into walls and off the occasional cliff. There are three kinds of people in the world: those that can count, and those that can't. The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader. You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us. Slinky escalator = endless fun People tell me I'm weird and I say, "You just figured that out?" Best friends are the people that know all about you and still put up with you. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. I dream of a better tomorrow- where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty! I'm not insane . . . I just do whatever the voices tell me to. I don't obsess; I think intensely. At my lemonade stand, I used to give the first glass free and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote. If you can't convince them, confuse them. The statistics of insanity is that one in every four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If it's not them, it's you. The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy something else to shoot at. If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving. Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you. Whoever said ‘words don't hurt’ never got hit by a dictionary. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes, be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before. I do not deny everything. Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out. You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then. When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back. I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive. Who ever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious mental problems. I'm not lost, I'm exploring. Last night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars and I thought . . . WHERE THE HECK IS THE CEILING? If your somewhere where everybody is panicked, except you, chances are you don't fully understand the situation. God made man before woman, because true artist makes a rough draft before a masterpiece. Duck tape is like the Force, it has a light side and a dark side, and it keeps the world together! Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one? Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'! Unless you wanna slam a revolving door, that's not going to happen. I don't smoke; there are cooler ways to die. (Such as jumping of the Empire State Building yelling 'I believe I can fly!'). I didn't fall over, I was testing gravity. It still works. Whoever said nothing was impossible, obviously never tried to slam through a concrete wall. It takes real skill to trip over empty air. Voldemort had a flat face because he ran into the wrong wall at the station! I click my pen when I'm bored... or just to annoy the teacher. Boys are like trees; they take 50 years to grow up Most learn from observation. Some learn from experimentation. Then there are those who touch the fire to see if it's hot. Be a rebel! Open the wrong side of the popcorn bag! Yes, I hit like a girl. You could to if you tried a bit harder! Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let life wonder how you did it. Awkward moment when it’s quiet and you're eating something crunchy. Awkward moment when you trip up the stair's... in public. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them. I reject your reality and substitute my own. I would agree with you but then we both be wrong. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live. A wise man once said, "I don't know- go ask a woman." Your situations/circumstances do not define you. "Who's more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?" We are all born equal, but some are more equal than others. "It's not how often you fall...it's how quickly you stand back up." No one gets a second chance at life, that's what makes it so precious and so important. I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry, and if you jump of a cliff I will laugh harder. Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb", I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution." Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with! Everyone brings happiness to this house: Some in coming, some in leaving. Determination: The feeling you get before you do something extremely stupid. Today, I thought about the phrase "revenge is sweet" and then thought about the phrase, "revenge is a dish best served cold." I have now come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect! The trouble with real life is that there's no background music. My friends (and I) are the type of people who spend all day trying to drown a fish. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do. We live in an age where there are handicap parking spots in front of ice-skating rinks. We live in an age where the banks leave the front doors open and chain the pens to the counter. We live in an age where there is Braille lettering on the drive-up ATMs. Strangers stab you in the front. God made men first. Then He had a better idea! Boys are like Slinky’s. Practically useless, and yet it is so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs. Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts. Whoever says "as easy as taking candy from a baby" has obviously never tried. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done. I'm only Grumpy because you're Dopey. I'm the kind of girl who can watch a horror movie without getting scared, but jumps and screams when the toast pops out of the toaster. Forget love. I'd rather fall in chocolate! US quality: made in China. Other people want to be werewolves and vampires. I want to be a unicorn. Let's eat, Gramma! I find inspiration in cooking, my family, and my dog. It takes skills to trip over flat surfaces. I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug. WARNING: Do not annoy the writer. She may put you in a book and kill you. Cleaning my room: School: Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Normal people scare me... but not as much as I scare them. I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. It is better to keep your mouth shut and make people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. I wasn't calling you names. I was stating the obvious. I'm sick of all this talk about vampires and werewolves. What we really need is a good book about unicorns. I'm not cynical. Everything just sucks. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. That which doesn't kill you... will probably try again. The difference between brilliance and stupidity is that brilliance has its limits. I respect your opinion. I just think it's stupid. You have the right to remain silent, so please just shut up. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people. I didn't slap you! I just gave you a high five in the face. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? A word to the wise isn’t necessary. It's the stupid ones that need the advice. I'll try being nicer when you try being smarter. Ah... Medieval Times. When boys opened doors for girls instead of trampling them on their way out. Those were the good old days. I didn't choose the fandom life. The fandom life crawled from the depths of hell, grabbed me in a chokehold, and dragged me into the flames. But hey, it's actually kind of fun down here... Learn from me. I am wise. No I'm not. Overlook me. Don't. Are you confused? No, you're not. I am happy. You are sad. No, I'm sad. You're not happy. You are happy. I'm confusing. You are confused. Now it makes sense. Ha. Smile... even though it freaks other people out. There's a fine line between sanity and insanity. I believe I crossed it several hundred miles back. Fate drove me here, then told me to get out of the car. When there's an awkward silence... "FOR NARNIA!" They told me I could become anything. So I became a rock. Bookstores are one of the only pieces of evidence we have left that people are still thinking. I ran with scissors. And lived. I did what they said and took the road less traveled –– now where the heck am I? An apple a day keeps the doctor away –– if well aimed. DRINK COFFEE! Do stupid things faster with more energy! You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it's gone. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Did you know sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity? Don't follow me. I'm lost too. Don't mess with me. I've got a stick. Smile, because I have no idea what is going on! Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are vegetables? One way to figure out how things work –– push all the buttons! What is this normal you speak of? Is it contagious? Stay away! I might catch your normal! Without those blonde moments, life would be so dull. When women are depressed, they eat chocolate or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional... Cheese... milk's leap toward immortality. If you say "gullible" really slow, it sounds like "oranges"! Without ME, its just AWESO. Come to the nerd side. We have pi! The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and spiders. On a scale of 1 to 10, what's your favorite color in the alphabet? There is a fine line between numerator and denominator. Roses are red. The following statement is true. The cactus wants a hug. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it. I see regular people! Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over. Silence is golden and duct tape is silver. You choose. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. I'm so gangster. I carry a squirt gun. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three! If you can't fix it with duct tape, you haven't used enough. I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on eBay! There is no "I" in "team" but if you switch around a couple letters, there is definitely a "ME"... The person who smiles when things go wrong is thinking of a list of people to blame it on. I am NOT saying you're stupid. I am merely implying it. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Usually, it belongs to an incoming express train. Just when I thought that you said the stupidest thing ever, you kept talking. An idiot is a window washer who steps back to admire the wonderful cleaning job he did on the 44th floor. Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. In order to lose your mind, you must have one in the first place. All people have the right to stupidity; some just abuse that privilege. I have two rules: When giving lethal injections, the doctors first sterilize the needles. I have one question that I would love to ask –– "WHY?" He who claps last is not paying attention. If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out. I'm not random. You just can't think as fast as me. MOO... I'm a fish Give me candy –– OR ELSE. The question is not whether or not you have the right to remain silent. The question is whether or not you have the capacity. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Some see the glass as half full, some see it as half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my soda. The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf. Practice makes perfect, but since nobody's perfect, why practice? Education is important. School, however, is another matter. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile, and absolutely none at all to sit there with a dumb look on your face. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate. Advice is not my forte. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless. Secret admirers are stalkers with stationery. It's not stealing. It's borrowing with no intention of giving back. Procrastinators: the leaders of tomorrow. Tu madre. You just got burned in Spanish. Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is. It's okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet either. At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Deep, huh? If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. Worst time to have a heart attack: during a game of charades. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried eating a liquid. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried to fly a helicopter upside down. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried nailing Jell-O to a tree. Whoever said that nothing is impossible has obviously never tried lining up a group of people alphabetically according to height. Come to the Dark Side. We have COOKIES! Don't attempt a staring contest with a brick wall. They cheat a lot. When someone annoys you, remember that it takes 47 muscles to frown but just 4 muscles to stretch out your arm and punch the daylight out of them. Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? I didn't trip. I was just doing a random gravity test. If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer! I've got a problem for your solution. Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. I didn't fight my way to the top of a food chain to be a vegetarian. Microsoft bought Skype for 8.5 billion! What a bunch of idiots. I downloaded it for free. War does not determine who is right... only who is left. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Diamonds are a girl's best friend because they're sharper than knives. Relax. Nothing is okay. Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many. Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics. You have the right to remain silent. I have the right to ignore whatever you say. Either way, it works in my favor. We're not retreating; we're just advancing in a different direction. I was going to take over the world, but then I saw a shiny thing. The Tooth Fairy teaches kids that it's okay to sell body parts. Be insane, because well behaved girls never made history. A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere. You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you? The doctor says that we have multiple personalities. I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours. The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese. They never suspect the short one. Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia? I've used up all of my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. Stereotyping? How do you type with a stereo? People know don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was. Hey stupid! Your sock is untied! Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. I'm not as random as you think I salad. On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin. I see no good reason to act my age. Hey you! Yeah you! No, not you, the other guy! You right there! Yes, you! Do you like tacos? I tried being normal, but I didn't like it. Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes. Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is. Flying is not inherently dangerous –– crashing is. I have not lost my mind; it is backed up on a disk somewhere. Forecast for tonight: darkness. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes. If you had a life you would stop talking about mine. Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner. In a world of Cheerios, be a Froot Loop! Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later. You, you, and you –– panic. The rest of you follow me. If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense. I have a dream and in it, something eats you. Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful. Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a Barbie doll. If aliens are looking for intelligent life, don't be scared. You have no reason to be. If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport. Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world, but shhhh... it's a secret! Quick, what's the number for 9-1-1? I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again. Hi! I'm human. What're you? Patience is what parents have when they also have witnesses. We are the people our parents warned us about! I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a... aw, who am I kidding? I'm smiling because I'm your sister. I'm laughing because there's nothing you can do about it! Earth is full. Go home. I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up. An overly positive attitude may not be enough to solve a problem, but it sure ticks people off enough for it to be worth it! I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody's looking. The cops never find it as funny as you do. Reality is for people who lack imagination. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." People say I've lost my sanity, but I can't lose what I never had. The voices in my head may not be real, but they still have pretty good ideas... You're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me not you. Nine out of the ten voices in my head agree that I'm insane. The tenth is off chasing cars. The voices in my head don’t like you. I used to have a life. That was before I learned how to write. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge. WARNING: Jumping into toxic waste does not give you super powers. Bad spellers of the world UNTIE! When nothing goes right... go left. It's a beautiful day; now watch some idiot screw it up. OOOH... DRAMA! Let's get popcorn! Do it today! It might be illegal tomorrow! You! Off my planet! The first sign of madness is talking to yourself. The second is when the voices in your head answer back. Allow me to introduce my selves. There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over. Not all men are annoying... some are dead. If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable. Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now. WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus. If I throw a stick, will you go away? Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them. It's you and me versus the world... we attack at dawn. A day without sunshine is like... night. I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster. I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight. Real friends don't let you do stupid things –– alone. The butterflies are plotting SOMETHING... Best friends know how stupid you are and still choose to be with you in public. Don't try to out-weird me –– I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. You say "crazy" like it's a bad thing. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there! Stressed is ‘desserts’ backwards. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? I am free of all prejudices... I hate all people equally! I am in shape... round is a shape. I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool. I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. Oooooh... a life. Where can I download one? The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. People say that money can't buy happiness. However, I just purchased marshmallows. Isn't that the same thing? If it ain't broken... fix it 'til it is. I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS? A rejected invention: Instant water! Just add water! EMO –– Extravagantly Made Origami I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else. The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't by accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide. Everything is edible. Everything. Even I am edible, but that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Taste the rainbow –– eat crayons! What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse." Do not lead me into temptation. I can find it myself. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life. Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. By the Hulk. On an adrenaline rush. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. Death by chocolate –– oh, what a way to go. My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. I'd take a bullet for you. Not in the head, like in the leg or something. Worst. Idea. Ever. *Pause* Let's do it. People who investigate noises in horror movies deserve to die. I've probably learned more from Google than I have from school. Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormous caterpillar. My friend's the kind of person who breaks the silence at a funeral by yelling, "KUNG POW CHICKEN!" When there's a will, I want to be in it. Don't try to hold your hand over my mouth to make me shut up. I'll lick you. The greatest pleasure in life is doing something people tell you not to. Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself! So stick that in your juice box and SUCK IT! Say no to drugs. Whatever it was –– I didn't do it! I swear Mario is a hobo. He wakes up every day in the same clothes, runs around in sewers collecting coins, and to buy what? MUSHROOMS! Ever noticed that "studying" is "student" and "dying" put together? Dear Guy-Sitting-Next-To-Me: Yeah, I see you copying me. But joke's on you. I didn't study either. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. Wanna hear a joke? Miley Cyrus. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicated. Haven't they met themselves? If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you. I ROCK! Guitar hero told me so. There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects. It's when they start to talk back that you need to worry. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S…tell your friends. Three hundred sixty-four days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers. Yet on Halloween, it's encouraged! Why is that? Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem. They laugh because we're losers. We laugh because they just figured it out. What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man? What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired I put the mirror down! Facebook is like jail. You sit around and waste time, you write on walls, and you get poked by people you don't know! I wish I had Dora's parents… They let that girl go everywhere! I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years. Girls spend the first ten years of their lives playing with Barbies, and the next ten years trying to look like one. I decided to burn lots of calories today, so I set a fat kid on fire. I want to merge My Space, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT. Just because I'm cute doesn't mean I'm harmless. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute... screw the fruit! The surest sign of intelligent life out there is that none of them have tried to contact us. Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor. PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bad girl. When you find a real man... He broke my heart...So I broke his JAW! Girls don't make mistakes, we date them. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you. Who was the first person who looked at a cow and say "I think I will squeeze those dangly things here and drink what comes out"? I'm such a genious. (Only good spellers will get the joke) Do people in England try to sound like Americans, like we try and have British accents? Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand Engineering: "How will this work?" You should never let anything stop you. Except safety rails. They're there for a reason. Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"? Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything. Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? We're so cool ice cubes are jealous. Ever wonder why bologna and lasagna don't rhyme? Laughing until your stomach hurts is what friends are for. By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life I burst laughing out in class today... I got that joke you told yesterday! There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled. People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Yeah, well I'm all that and a bag of M&Ms. Taste my rainbow! The absolute greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can't. Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides know they're playing. Does being fluent in sarcasm count as a second language? Obsession? What do you mean, I have an obsession? *Hides book behind back* You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to. There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, and so there is an 'I' in MEATPIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months. I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it? If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future? A computer without Internet is like a person without a soul. When something has a sign that says "Do not touch" it is actually a test of how daring you are. Touch it. Tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling; it's cheaper than a smoke alarm. You are more likely to die on your way to buy a lottery ticket than to win the lottery. Punching someone in the face is a very efficient way to see how forgiving they are. I do too have an hourglass figure; the sands just keep shifting. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why doesn't glue stick to its bottle? Why do you still call it a building when it's already built? If you aren’t supposed to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? Very few personal problems can't be solves through suitable applications of high explosives. I didn't lose my marbles. I gave them to a kid with a marble run. I love Mondays! Hey, the medication's working! I let my mind wander, and it never came back. Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be let out on its own. I just need a toxic substance... L.A. tap water will do just fine. I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and don't let it find me. It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them? I said I had my reasons. I never said you would understand. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing. Sarcasm is one more service we offer. Don't worry, our staff is used to stupid questions. Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. Diplomacy is the art of saying "Good doggie" while groping for a bigger stick. What's the point of having a giant paper clip if you won't use it for world domination? Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again! Note to self: do not use axe to kill a fly on a person's head. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 10% sugar, 10% spice, 80% demon child so you better be nice. I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. Yeah, he said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me...wait. Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think its Will. Be optimistic. All the people you hate are going to eventually die. I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse. I love how in scary movies the person says, “Hello?” as if the murderer’s gonna be like, “Yeah, I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?” I keep some people's phone numbers in my contacts just so I know not to answer when they call. If you were on fire and I had some water, I'd drink it. A clean house is a sign of a broken computer. Note to self: It is illegal to stab someone for being stupid. No matter how much they deserve it. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence. You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. Have you ever watched a Disney movie or something now that you're grown up and realized you had no idea what was going on when you first saw it? My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said, “At the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I got detention for asking which end. Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you. There is nothing worse than that moment in which you are sure you're going to die after leaning back in a chair a little too far. I think that part of a best friend's job after you die is to immediately clear your computer history. Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my Life Alert! Keyboard not found... Press any key to continue. Ah, the Internet: where men are men, women are also men, and thirteen-year-old girls are FBI agents. If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question. Sometimes, Google should come back with a message that says, "Trust me, you don't want to know." When butterflies fall in love do they feel humans in their stomachs? There’s a fine line between genius and stupidity. I like to play jump rope with that line. When I have kids someday, I’ll tell them to watch the movie 2012 and say, “I survived that.” If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. The Internet is like Egypt; we write on walls, convey messages with pictures that no one understands, and worship cats. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it? Scary thought: A ghost could be humping you right now and you'd never know. I hate it when you miss a call by like two seconds, but when you call back immediately after, no one answers. What did they do, leave a message, drop the phone, and sprint as far away as possible? Always say no to drugs, because if your drugs are talking to you, it's time to quit. A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death, which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder. I look around and all I see is stupid! On a completely unrelated topic, I like to look at mirrors. Can we be antisocial butterflies? Music is like candy; you throw away the rappers. “Did you just fall?” "Wait! Violence is not the answer!" "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," the sarcastic teacher said. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, then pick your favorite.'' Your friend calls you at 3 in the morning. "Are you asleep?" Would you like a cookie? So would I. I Googled you today and I'm disturbed with what I found. If you are reading this then step 1 of my evil plan is complete. I have no patience for impatient people. Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman. Then always be Batman. You're a great friend. But if the zombies are after us, I'm tripping you. DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. Misuse of "literally" makes me figuratively insane. Spelling is dificoult. If you can't be a good example, be a warning. What floats in water? Sorry. I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. Kiss me. I'm pretending to be Irish. Fear of spiders: Arachnophobia. Real men don't sparkle. Real men defeat dark wizards. Most Intelligent Person In The World [citation needed] Legen- Everything in moderation. Except chocolate. I am disappointment in you're grammar. Everything is easier said than done. Except for talking. That's about the same. Alliteration is alarmingly addictive. "B" is for BACON and that's good enough for ME! What girls don't know: when a boy acts like he hates them, he actually likes them. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I swear, I was just aiming for your face. I'm not deaf. I'm just ignoring you. Never say to a police officer: "I swear to drunk I'm not God!" I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce. Caution! I drive as bad as you do... If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? I do whatever the voices tell me to do. It just depends on who yells the loudest. I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick. What about you? My day is not complete until I have terrified a complete stranger. Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic and say, "Who do you think you are?" Stress: a condition brought on by overriding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk that desperately deserves it. This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and ruthless violence. See, when Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer while naked, it's "art" and "music". But when I lick a sledgehammer, I'm "wasted" and have to leave Home Depot. We'll be friends forever...because you know too much. My room is not messy. It is an obstacle course meant to keep me fit. 10 years. Trillions of dollars. Thousands of soldiers dead. State of the art technology. The US finally found Bin Laden...in his house. Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies. Don't worry about the people in your past. There’s a reason they didn't make it to your future. Eat right, exercise, die anyway. I can resist everything except temptation. I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be. If aliens are looking for intelligent life, then why are you scared? If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried. If explosives didn't solve your problems, you obviously weren't using enough of them. If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP. If history repeats itself, I'm so getting a dinosaur. If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug? If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation. If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on skittles, give me red... LEMON DARNIT!" Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?" It's sad your own mom dresses you like that. I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have. I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly, if it's worth it. Jogging is a slow sprinting, Coach! Just remember – if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later. Paper may beat rock, but only until the catapults roll in! Remember: Eat your school, stay in drugs and don't do vegetables . . . Wait . . . Right now, I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. Sanity is a state of mind. It's near Colorado. :D Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it. Set sail in a general that way direction. The pen may be mightier, but the sword still hurts. The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. The rules only apply if you get caught. The three of you panic. The rest follow me. Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them. When I die, friends will go to my funeral, good friends will cry at my funeral, but my best friend will change my Facebook status to "Chillin' with Jesus". When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know. A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss. I'm not as dumb as you look. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it. It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely. It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows. No one ever says ‘it's only a game’ if their team is winning. I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself. Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them. Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys. When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later. When all else fails, use duct tape. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again My Reality Check bounced. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. "What's behind this door?" "There are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 941 of them hurt." "They locked you in?" I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. Out of my mind, please leave a message. Define normal. Do you think I'm weird? Don't answer that. What if weird meant normal and normal meant weird? Worry when I say I don’t need chocolate. You say you don’t trust me with sharp objects, I ask why not. You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same. My mom finds it tiring to worry about me. Don’t expect anything from me until I’ve had my daily dose of chocolate. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. There's no future in time travel. Smith & Wesson -- the original point and click interface. Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. All those who believe in psychokinetics, raise my hand. Oh Lord give me patience, and give it to me NOW! A good pun is its own reward. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. Laughing stock -- cattle with a sense of humor The road to success is always under construction. Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery. What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost? Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Boys should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it. Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key. You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith... It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. Gene Police: You!! Out of the pool! Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. A friend of mine stopped smoking, drinking, overeating, and chasing women — all at the same time. It was a lovely funeral. Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine. Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?" Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason. Nothing says ‘you're a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner. The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious. Less is more. Unless you're standing next to the one with more. Then less just looks pathetic. Acquisition is the discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but rather a small fish in a big fish. Perseverance is the courage to ignore the obvious wisdom of turning back. Economics is the science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today. Some things simply cannot be overcome with determination and a positive attitude. If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem. Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now. If you expect to score points by whining, join a European soccer team. Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins became a tourist attraction. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, concerned individuals can change the world. Indeed, it's how we got stuck with the IRS, the Federal Reserve and the Mafia. Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people. Teamwork ensures that your hard work can always be ruined by someone else's incompetence. Keep living life like there's no tomorrow and you'll be right sooner than you think. When a motivated group of people join together, they can turn problems into opportunities. Especially drinking problems. The bad news is robots can do your job now. The good news is we're now hiring robot repair technicians. The worse news is we're working on robot-fixing robots — and we do not anticipate any further good news. Teach every child you meet the importance of forgiveness. It's our only hope of surviving their wrath once they realize just how badly we've screwed things up for them. Money can't buy you love. But it can buy exotic cars and luxury yachts. Once you've got those covered, you'll be fighting love off with a stick. I expected times like this, but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent. Looking sharp is easy when you haven't done any work. Just look at pencils. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Especially to your friends. Sometimes, the most important lesson you can learn from team building is that you're not a very good team. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you can get what you need taken from you by the government. If you think it's lonely at the top, just wait 'til you try the bottom. Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to achieve uncommon results, provided they don't mind you calling them "common people". You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor. Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Sometimes your spirit tags along with it. Action will be taken to prevent the next disaster as soon as possible after it has occurred. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Of course, then your eyeballs will boil and your lungs explode from decompression. But that's what you get for being a darn showoff. When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor. A friend is just a stranger you haven't alienated yet. None of us is as dumb as all of us. I hear the call to do nothing and am doing my best to answer it. It takes genuine talent to see greatness in yourself despite your absence of genuine talent. Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid. If wishes were horses then dreamers would ride. But they're much more like cattle, so best grab a shovel. If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions. The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly. Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those busy proving them right. It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others. Multitasking is the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could. If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. And put your face between them when you do. You'll save me a lot of trouble. Thanks. Those who do not learn from cliches are destined to repeat them. Believe in yourself. Because the rest of us think you're an idiot. You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish... Running towards my dreams, tripping over tripped over reality, and hit my head on the truth. "Maybe you should read the instruct-" "NAHH! I GOT THISSSSS!" If karma doesn't hit you in the head, I gladly will. "You've changed." "Yeah, Im a transformer." "Im a wizard." "Then prove it." "Sorry I can't, no magic outside of Hogwarts." How to kill a spider: Grab a tissue, Approach slowly, and very carefully, burn the house down. Home alone! Expectation: Party! Party! Reality: Peeing with the door open. Don't grow up! It's a trap! Money doesn't buy happiness? Well it buys a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? It's impossible to be sad on a jet ski Dear McDonalds, Thank you for not selling hot dogs. I don't think I could order a McWiener with a straight face. Common sense is like deodorant, the people who need it most are the ones who never use it. I love rumors! I found so much about myself I didn't even know! Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. Hitting your hip on a corner and feeling like you've been shot. 'Life's hard. It's even harder when your stupid.' -John Wayne I don't understand how Super Mario can smash blocks his head, but dies when he touches a turtle. When I turn 18 and my parents try to get me to do something, I'll just be like, "Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free Elf." All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips. I'm not rude. I'm honest. I like wearing big sweaters. Not cause they're all comfy & cuddly, but when the sleeves are really big I get to flop then around & smack people. I look really cute when I wake up. And by cute I mean homeless. My standards are unreasonably high. I'm like a walrus going after a peacock. Showers are amazing. They make you feel nice and clean, make you sound like a professional singer, and help you make all of life's decisions. Remember when you told me to bring you a glass of water? I took a sip. That baby dinosaur noise you make when you stretch. I want a nice body, but then like... food. The moment where your like; "WHO TOOK MY- Oh. There it is." Play with my hair until I fall asleep and I'll love you till the day I die. If I haven't embarrassed myself in front of you, don't worry; it will happen. Because having cute underwear makes you feel so much better about yourself. When my friends are sad, I send them a long paragraph. But when I'm sad, they say "Oh, Sorry" or "That sucks" I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22... pounds overweight. "He's cute, I swear. Let me find a better picture." Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house. Tupperware. More like TupperWHERE THE HECK IS THE LID Whenever I see a centaur they have abs. How do they get abs? Half of them is horse. Whenever a girl says "lol have fun" do not have fun. Abort misson. I repeat. Abort mission. Why do people think being a vampire is so great? You can't eat garlic bread, so what's the point? If you are walking a dog and you see me checking you out: · I am not checking you out · I am looking at your dog · not you · dog For as much as they tell you about Stop Drop and Roll as a kid, I really expected to be on fire more times in my life. :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3:3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3:3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3:3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3:3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 Well, thank you ever so much for taking the thirty minutes out of your day to come and read my profile! I hope you'll take a look at my stories, maybe even just PM me saying you made it out of here alive, i don't care, IT'S A FREE COUNTRY! Hug an Eevee, I'll see you later! BYE! | |||||||
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