(The important bit is at the bottom.)

Hello! I am Pokemon Master Rolf! I got my first Pokemon game when I was ten and have loved the series ever since.

I'm a guy and I plan to marry a girl one day. You can call me Rolf.

I made this account to practice my writing skills, so make sure you tell me what you think. PM me if you want me to read your stuff, and I'll do the same for you. I like Anime/Manga and Games stories the best.

Stories I know best:

Fullmetal Alchemist

D. Gray Man

Black Cat

Fairy Tail

Rurouni Kenshin

Pokemon

Portal

Fire Emblem

Legend of Zelda

If you have a story in any of the above and want some input, just ask. I will be putting up a Beta reader profile eventually.

And now, some random thoughts:

Build a man a fire, you keep him warm for a day. SET a man on fire, you keep him warm for the rest of his life.

I was walking through a graveyard one day when I saw a tombstone that read, "Construction complete: thank you for your patience."

A man walks into a bar. You think he would have seen it.

Another man walks into a bar. The bartender demands angrily, "Is this a joke?"

(Read the whole thing before you get accidently offended)

Intolerance is a beautiful thing. Bono was intolerant of AIDS. Mother Theresa was intolerant of poverty. Gandi was intolerant of violence and persecution. Nelson Mandela was intolerant of racism. And Jesus was intolerant of bigots. (Read the Bible and you'll get why I say that)

Madness takes a toll. Please have exact change.

More about me.

Some may hate me for saying this, but I am a Christian AND a follower of Christ. What I mean by this is that I take Gandhi's criticism to heart when he said "I like your Christ, but not your Christians." I try to be the type of person you actually would LIKE while at the same time not compromising my beliefs. I find I get a lot less angry people shouting at me that way. As such, I try to be polite and respectful to everyone, regardless of their beliefs, and will calmly and rationally talk to anyone who is interested about my faith. It may appear in my writing, but unless you look for it I don't think you will notice it. If you do, you can either move on with the story (like I do when I encounter stuff I don't necessarily agree with) or you can send me a PM and hopefully we can resolve the issue like civilized humans.

I believe literature of any kind is where people of any conviction can express their thoughts. I may not choose to read them, and it's up to you whether you read what I write, but since I don't have anything planned that I think would offend anyone (though I'm sure someone somewhere would find a way to be offended if I said 'peaches are funny') I hope you enjoy my stories no matter what you believe.

My thoughts on various issues:

1 Guys treat girls like toilets. It needs to stop. NOW.

Let me explain a bit. Most guys have a one-track mind when it comes to relationships. They want a receptacle (aka, a girlfriend) that they can use to answer the call of nature (aka, sex drive). I do not ascribe to that philosophy. I try to be a gentleman in more ways than just getting the door.

A gentleman never pushes a girl into a compromising situation. He never deceives her. He never uses her. He always respects her, cares for her, and treats her like she is the most important thing in his life right then. More so even than the President of the U.S. of A.

Guys who screw around are like boys who can't control themselves. They are slaves to their own lust. A Gentle-MAN (notice the capitals) is the one sitting in the corner who smiles and asking you how your day went. Ladies, the one you want is the one you consider a friend. He's most likely the only one who has matured enough not to be chasing all the mini-skirts in your entire contacts list.

2 I heard a frightening statistic the other day. One in five boys one in seven girls will be sexually abused by the time he or she reaches eighteen. This...enrages me, even to the point where I would pick up the nearest gun and start shooting (and I go out of my way to save frogs and lizards that try to hide in the door jamb of my supply shed). Jesus (the guy whose teachings I follow) said that it would be better for a man to be tossed into the ocean with a giant boulder tied to his neck than hurt a child. I don't care if you dislike everything else on my profile, THIS MUST STOP!!!

And to all you drug dealers, pedophiles, and abusive caretakers out there, you had better be afraid, because if I find you hurting a child, I don't care what age, race, gender, or condition, I will do everything in my power to stop you, even if it means I DIE in the process! YOU GOT THAT?!! I'm dead serious about this and I am not backing down!

3 Abortion. A lot's been said about it. I feel no need to go into great depth and rehash old arguments. However, were it not for some woman who I will never meet who had the COURAGE to go through with her pregnancy even though she could never keep her baby and had to put him up for adoption, I would not be here today. 'Nuff said.

4 They tell me that with all the texting, etc. that attention spans are decreasing an people are losing the ability to daydream. If you still can, proudly proclaim it to the world!

I suppose that to some, I must seem to be the greatest of all villains. I am a straight, white, Christian, conservative, male American. But even more than that, I believe in one of the most evil and outdated concepts ever: absolute truth.

Why, though? Why does that automatically ensure that people will scream at me day after day about how I am what is wrong with the world? The same people who barely bat an eyelash at hundreds of girls being kidnapped and forced into sex slavery? Am I really a greater villain than Stalin and Hitler, who can be discussed in quite calm, academic terms, because I believe that there really is only one Truth?

I come with a message of hope! Of peace and happiness! Why? Tell me why is it wrong to believe that God loves you and me and has a wonderful plan for our lives? I want to save the world! I want to make it a place where children can sleep in their mother's arms and never know fear nor the pain and anguish! I want it to be a place where men love women and don't use them toys! Where love, peace, and good cheer blaze like beacons from every household! Isn't that what everyone wants? But how can that be unless we realize that the universe is built on love? The love of God, who sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to make the ultimate sacrifice?

I only want to tell people that there is a better way! A way without shame, without fear! And yet I and my friends are reviled and mocked! The name of our God is used as a curse word, the foulest type of speech anyone can make! So tell me why? What have I done to deserve your unending hate?

I do not hate you! You are not my enemy! If I hated you, I would shut up and go away. But I would be friends with all humanity! I am tired of being your enemy. I am tired of being mocked, scorned, hated because I believe there is a better way and am so grateful I found it that I want to share it so everyone can experience the joy I have found! And yet...I am the villain. The villain who asks with tears in his eyes what he has done wrong. I am tired, so tired. Sometimes I wish I could just lay down, go to sleep, and never wake up, peacefully dreaming until the world ends. But then, I would be abandoning you and, as much as you hate me, I cannot bring myself to do that.

And so instead, I am extending my hand in friendship, not animosity. You may end up listening to me talk about my antiquated religion, but just know that I am equally willing to listen to you. I am willing to help in whatever way I can. I will prove I am not a villain! Just give me the chance to do so!