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Author has written 5 stories for Inuyasha, Mushishi, D.Gray-Man, Ouran High School Host Club, and Pandora Hearts. Things To Do In an Elevator When Bored Shake the person's hand when he/she enter the lift. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!". On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!" Meow occasionally Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. Leave a box between the doors. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. Say "Ding!" at each floor. Lean against the button panel. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." Without letting anyone see, press the emergency stop button. Act surprised and start talking to yourself "its ok, it wasnt your fault you killed your family. It was SATAN, damm you SATAN! DAMN YOU!!" Then press the stop button again and act as if nothing has happened. Scratch yourself excessively saying "fucking headlice. They're all over me. I knew I shouldn't have played with that dog so much" Pretend your are a repair man here to fix the lift. Wait untill its busy and tell everyone to get out of the lift. You get in, get your paper out and sit and relax Start to talk about your sexlife. Tell them that all of your three children were concived in this very lift. And point and say "it was up against that wall" Offer to polish their shoes. When they say no, tell them you need the money to feed your ten starving children back home in Estonia Act surprised when it starts to move and say "THE GROUND IS FALLING!" Let your mobile phone ring - don't answer it. Walk into the lift and say "this reminds me of being burried alive. Ah those were the days" On entering, ask the passengers "Will you be my fwiend?". Burst into tears if they say no. Stop the lift and say "twenty years in prison for murdering the whole family, and I get stuck in a lift after being out for two hours. Just my luck!" Pretend to be the pilot of the lift, speach into a headset "this is lift number 1, ready for decent to 1st floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over" Announce in a computer like voice "this lift will self destruct in 5 4 3 2 ...oh heres my floor" Take shoes off before entering, Look shocked and disgusted when the others dont As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them. Insist, the lift ride costs £2.50 Pretend to be a flight attendant (particularly affective if you are dressed like one), instruct the passengers on what to do in an emergency Challenge the guy stood next to you to a "thumb war". Explain your ideas of world domination to the wall. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "it is time..." Pretend to see a spider, repeatedly and violently stamp on the floor while screaming "Die you bastard, die DIIEEE!" Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer. Dress up as a bellboy and ask them what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting. I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, by the lights or its decor. But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp-- the thieves, the liars, the sinners, the alcoholics, the trash. There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch money twice. Next to him was my old neighbor who never said anything nice. Herb, who I always thought was rotting away in hell, was sitting pretty on cloud nine, looking incredibly well. I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal? I would love to hear Your take. How'd all these sinners get up here? God must've made a mistake. And why's everyone so quiet, so somber? Give me a clue." "Hush, child," said He "They're all in shock. No one thought they'd see you." lol, i love this poem! XD You called me a bitch, bitch is another word for dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, & nature is beautiful. You just called me beautiful, thanks for the compliment. If you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy and past this on your profile. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. 1.YOUR REAL NAME: charlotte 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): chaizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Green Fox 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Louise Pebbles 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): seachssa 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Blue Tea 7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Lin 8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): black blob There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you have ever run into a tree, copy this onto your profile If you have ever tripped down the stairs, copy this onto your profile If you have ever tripped UP the stairs, copy this onto your profile If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy this into your profile (many times _;) If you have been on the computer for hours on end reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to this list: Danyan,Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, ChOpStIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Fierygirl0, Satsuki-kun, hichigomate,happygirl24, hollowzangetsu, 2!v3 2!f3, Kouseki-Tsukimono, SilvermistAnimeLover, silverkitsunepup -Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more. -Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. -There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and anime/manga for the rest of the day. -If I had something good to say, I would have already said it. -Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. -Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder! -Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message. -I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist. -If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either. -Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters? -Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? -There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots. -I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens. -I'm going to live forever, or die trying! -Always proofread to make sure you don’t any words out. -Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over -Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later. And if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you. -Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. -Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes. -An apple a day, keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. -I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" — a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. -A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. -You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. -Who ever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door. -What happens if you get scared half to death twice? -A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Specify that your drive-through order is to go. It confuses people. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him! If swimming is so good for your figure, then explain whales! Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?! Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? "cheer, cheer, yell, yell, it doesn't matter, we're all going to hell" You know, it would be REALLY funny if someone found irrefutable proof that Jesus was a gay black man." "Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to." "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." "Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it." FAVORITE QUOTES: (some off others profiles') When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you lemons, give them back and demand cash. Suicide is a way of telling God, "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, I QUIT!" Death is a way of God telling you not to be a wise guy. That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again. Its tourist season, so why can't I shoot them? If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God. - Anonymous Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives. - Stephen Baker Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart 1. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day. 3. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap. 4. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 5. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 3). 6. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles. 7. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. 8. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast. 9. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors. 10. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it. 11. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive. 12. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store. 13. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice. 14. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 14. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 15. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles. 16. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 17. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave." 18. Climb things. 19. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs". 20. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them. 21. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men. 22. Take bets on the battle from above. 23. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. 24. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 25. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible. 26. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies." 27. Two words: Marco Polo. 28. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc. 29. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing. 30. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'. 31. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. Make your mother proud, be yourself and take of that self well :D Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first. A torch is a case for holding dead batteries. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. Some say the world will end in fire, Robert Frost When there's a will, I want to be in it. "When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." Anonymous "Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad." Anonymous "Friends are like butt cheeks, shit may come between them, but they always stick together." Anonymous "Sex is evil, evil is sin, sin is forgiven, so stick it right in!" Anonymous "Virginity is like a balloon, one small prick and it's gone forever." Anonymous "Sex is temptation caused by sensation, when a guy puts his location into a girl's destination, to increase population for the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" Anonymous "They say one day your whole life will flash before your eyes, make it worth watching." Anonymous "I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes." Anonymous "I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me." Anonymous "Anyone can reach their stars…and if you can’t reach, catch one that falls." Anonymous "You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor." Anonymous "Okay, so what's the speed of dark?" Anonymous "I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer," Max "For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"Iggy Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich. "Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." Best friends are the people that know all about you and still put up with you! I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone Hi, you know the drill. My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Still, i'm not fussy Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together. You have to have darkness for a dawn to come. Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars. To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world. Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. A smile is the shortest distance between two people. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. Music is love in search of word. A happy note! 1. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. 2. There were two men sitting next to a woman in a bar. One said to the other, "i'm a brum, bike riding urban male." 3. Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies, "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?" 4. My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. 5. Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. 6. I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for member. 7. Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves. 8. Three comedians are shooting the breeze at the back of a nightclub after a late gig. They’ve heard one another’s material so much, they’ve reached the point where they don’t need to say the jokes anymore to amuse each other – they just need to refer to each joke by a number. "Number 37!" cracks the first comic, and the others break up. ""Number 53!" says the second guy, and they howl. Finally, it’s the third comic’s turn. "44!" he quips. He gets nothing. Crickets. "What?" he asks, "Isn’t 44 funny?" "Sure, it’s usually hilarious," they answer. "But the way you tell it…" Story time! One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class who was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? I thought to myself. He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I just shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends, and he said yes. We hung out all weekend, and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscle with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed, and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, and that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation, and I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Sometimes, I was even jealous! Today was one of those days.I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach . . . but mostly your friends . . . I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later, and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture, you can change a person's life. 'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.' (All things not made by me on this profile belong to their rightful owners). |
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