Authors note: Thank you for viewing this page woah/ it's the first time i've written an atla fic, and i don't really know if i'll update it. most likely if someone asks me to! please enjoy! (´∀`)
" ..It bothers me… even now. "
Zuko rolled onto his other side. He had been awake for hours now, thinking of the past weeks, months, even years. It had exactly been 2 months, 5 days and 15 hours since he had taken the place of Fire lord. He had visited his jailed father twice and had drank tea with his uncle about 7 times. taking care of the nation went just fine and all, but he still felt like something was missing. He hadn't seen Aang for 2 weeks now. He clearly understood that the Avatar would be very busy with traveling around, giving every city his blessings, but Zuko still didn't like it.
"…I should just get over with it and fall asleep" he muttered to himself, rolling onto his other side again. After these 2 months, 5 days and 15 hours he still wasn't used to this bed. Even the thought that the bed had belonged to his father once made him feel uncomfortable.
He would wake up in the middle of the night, breaking out in sweat and feel nauseous all of sudden. The bed sheets were incredibly thick, which caused him to sweat even more. And the curtains were always in his way, they were always closed since he never had the patience to tie them properly to the edges of the bed, so he decided to give up on that. These things were all uncomfortable, however, its biggest inconvenience was the size of the bed. It was unbelievably big.
"who'd even need a bed this goddamn big?" he thought to himself as he sat up and glared at the huge empty space in the bed. It annoyed him even thinking about it and he got out of bed, pushing aside the curtains that he once again failed to properly tie. His hand swung to his head in a rather desperate movement and he whined in the most dramatic way imaginable for a fire lord. "I could go for a walk in the cool, breezy courtyard right now.."
He left his bedroom, which was also unnecessarily big, and made his way out of the red with golden decorated corridor, down to the stairs. the rug on the stairs had a fascinating pattern, with lots of flames, dragons and other legendary creatures that were known from fire diverse nation tales, that were mostly used as bedtime stories. He didn't feel like staring at it, at least not at the current moment. He had to admit that he did take the time to look at the woven creation once or twice, but right now he just wanted to get outside.
He made his way further down, passed some other corridors and a big hallway until he finally arrived at the door that led to the courtyard.
"dang.. "he grunted as he let out a tired sigh. "this place sure is big.. ". He fiddled around with the doorknob until it opened, his hands slightly shaking for a reason he didn't understood himself. He assumed it'd be nothing but a little stress coming out of his body.
He felt a slight breeze on his face as soon as he stepped outside, leaving the door open behind him. His feet moved in a slow pace, knowing exactly where they'd be heading. The sound was nothing but a gentle tap on the stone slabs that created a path through the recently mowed grass. It smelled good. It smelled incredibly good. Shit.. he was glad he went outside.
He came to a stop and looked at the pond where he and his Mother had fed the Turtle ducks years ago. He looked at his leg, that was bitten by a mother Turtle duck once and curled his lips into a small smile. He kneeled down at the edge of the pond and looked at moon's reflection in the water."..Azula wanted to throw rocks at them.." he said to the pond. Or to himself, he didn't really knew why he spoke out loud just now but that didn't really matter. All that mattered was that he would get his rest now, he thought as he closed his eyes.
"Throw rocks at who..?" it sounded from behind.
Zuko jumped up at the sudden noise and turned around before he grabbed the individual's throat in response. Aang squeaked from his sudden movements as his eyes became very confused. "L- Lord….? ". Shit. Zuko let go of him immediately and sighed at the still confused nomad in front of him. For some reason, having Aang call him 'Firelord' really bothered him. However, he was really glad to see him.
It occurred to his mind that he wanted to ask him so many things. How are you? Where have you been? Have you been eating well? What did you do during your absence? Did you make any new friends? What are you doing here? Are you staying for the night? Have you eaten yet? Are you really sure you've been eating well?
He could go on and on, asking him the things that he thought of during his absence, but he didn't. instead he put on a serious face and answered him.
"..The Turtle ducks." He said with a calm voice. "…..Huh? ". Zuko rolled his eyes at the confused look on Aang's face, doing his best not to grin. Shit.. why did he had such a hard time acting cool around him? "She wanted to throw rocks at the Turtle ducks" he said again. Aang tilted his head in confusion but didn't ask any further questions. They remained silent for a while, creating an awkward tension. Zuko intentionally thought of how to break it without sounding like a complete idiot, until Aang spoke again.
His voice came out hesitatingly but he managed it to speak up. ".. Aren't you going to ask me anything?..." he asked quietly. Zuko took a deep breath as he thought of a proper sentence to reply with. He had such a hard time thinking of something that wouldn't express exactly how he felt but that would still meant something close to the same, that Aang spoke again. "….It.. It's okay if you don't really care.. uhh.. I-I mean you're busy too and all ….and talking about such things must be tiring.." his voice sounded disappointed, but he tried to smile at Zuko in an attempt into letting him know that it was fine, However his face didn't look happy at all.
Zuko screamed from the inside. "Fuck. He looks like he's about to burst out in tears, fuck! What do I do?! What do I say?! Shit.. shit SHIT!". He looked from Aang's cheeks, which had turned slightly red, to his already watery eyes. "Is he just tired? No.. I need to say something.. how do I comfort him? Hug him? No, NO! that'd be too weird.. it has to be something casual.. like ? ?" his thoughts became too much and before he knew it he had slapped himself in the face, leaving Aang very shocked. "Zuko!? Are you okay?" he quickly asked him as he stepped closer to the confused Fire lord.
Zuko noticed. He looked up at Aang and sighed in relief. Aang had called him by his name… "Good.." he thought as he placed a hand on the Avatar's shoulder, putting up the most serious face ever. He just thought of the perfect reply. "What makes you think I don't care about you..?" he asked the boy with a voice that sounded warmer than usual. He noticed Aang's cheeks and nose getting redder, and watched him as he nervously spoke. "W-W.. Well.. " Aang stammered out, "You're like.. the Fire lord and all.. and… ehm.. you know.. I just figured you'd be too busy..".
Zuko swallowed his breath. He knew that Aang was a kid that could be really straight to the point but he didn't expect him to be so nervous and fragile. Zuko felt his cheeks glowing a little and realized he would most likely be blushing. The hand, that even now was still placed on Aang's shoulder, became a bit sweaty. He cursed to himself as he avoided any possible eye contact with the blushing boy in front of him and slowly took his hand back. He couldn't possibly be thinking that Aang was cute… right? Of course Aang was a cute guy to see, but the 'cute' he was thinking of was something totally different.
He cursed again, this time out loud. Aang frowned at him as his confidence visibly started to fade. Zuko wanted to reply, he really did, but his head was still a mess. First of all why as Aang blushing anyway? And why the hell was he responding to it? Why had he been thinking about Aang for the past weeks? His palms became sweaty and his face slightly redder. There had to be a logical explanation to this, however there was only one thing that came to mind.
"Fuck.." he grumbled again, and brought his hand to his face. "…Aang.. ?" he muttered. "….. Yeah? ". "…You're currently.. 13 years old.. right? " zuko softly asked him while he didn't look up from his hand. " ..Uuhmm… well, no! actually I'm 113! " Aang proudly replied with a smile, in contrast to Zuko, who let out a loud groan.
He couldn't believe what a perverted pedophile he was. He was 18, for god's sake. He looked up to Aang, who was staring back at him. " Why did you groan..? " he asked him, slightly concerned. How was he going to tell him? well, he obviously wasn't.. but what would he tell him in reply?! He stood up straight and decided to totally avoid the subject. " How have you been..? " he asked him in the hope that he would go along with the sudden change of the subject.
Aang, who was completely surprised by the sudden question, nodded at him and smiled. " It was really cool! Everyone welcomed me instead of trying to capture me and all! I also gave a lot of blessings, it was sometimes a bit tiring but everyone was really kind to me! ". "I'm glad to hear.. ..Have you been eating well..? ". Aang became very excited, the more he told Zuko about his traveling from the last 2 weeks, the more he smiled.
Zuko noticed himself blushing like crazy and sighed. he prepared himself to ask a more selfish question. He thought to himself that it had to be a direct one. Just when Aang had stopped talking he quicly asked him in the most gentle way he could pull off " Did you miss me..? ". Aang stared at him, it took some time before the question actually got to him. instead of being embarrassed this time, he immediately spoke up. " Of course I did! ..why do you think I'm here? To throw rocks at the Turtle ducks? " He grinned at the Hotman.
Zuko's face felt like it had steam coming off. His confidence.. his pride.. His attitude.. he felt as if all of it was immediately erased by Aang's words. Now he really didn't know what to say anymore. Why did he even asked that stupid question?! Fuck! This was so uncool. He felt like a teenage schoolgirl that had just confessed to their big love or something like that. Shit, he felt like he was sinking into his shoes.
"…. Are you okay..? " the confused kid spoke. Zuko shook his head. " ..what's wrong? ". Zuko looked up at him. he noticed that Aang looked worried, and caught himself thinking that Aang was really cute. He spaced out for a bit, thinking about kissing Aang's beautiful face. Fuck. He quickly shook his head again. " I'm sorry.." he growled at the boy. The way he said it made it sound sarcastic, however, it wasn't. "Sorry for what..? Zuko.. what's going on? " Aang asked, getting more concerned now.
"….No.. You know what.." he thought. "Now was the time to be the grown up that you are and just get over with it." Zuko thought to himself. He was the Fire lord for god's sake. The least he could to was to man up a bit. It's all or nothing, he concluded to himself and faced the confused Aang properly. It took about a few minutes or so to build up the courage to actually speak, but in the end he did it.
" ..Aang.. ". " …. Yes? ". Zuko noticed himself getting nervous but he was determined to properly tell Aang what was going on. He took a deep breath and finally, finally spoke up. "..I like you.". "..oh? well.. I like you too..?" the still confused airbender replied to him. "shit.. I wish I would be inside, inspecting the rag on the stairs now" he nervously thought, but it didn't came up in his mind to go back now.
"..it's a different kind of like.. ". Aang's eyes widened. ".. ..wai-.. as.. as in like-like..? !" he stuttered. Zuko looked away. He didn't want to see Aang's expression. Who cared if this would make him less of a man? He just really didn't wanted to see it. He was sure this was going to be the end of their friendship, until he felt a small posture wrapped around his own. He felt his body being pressed against something thin and warm. It was after that moment that he realized that Aang was hugging him. "… ..me too…" an overly excited voice said.