On the whole, Noll liked Tokyo.

The city was clean, the public transport was efficient, the food was good and the people were all polite. In a way, he thought of it as an improved version of England. Like England, the concept of queueing was the normal, everyone apologised for everything and everyone drank tea.

Of course, there were a few things Noll did not like about Tokyo.

Such as many shops inabilities to include tax into the prices, the fact that working out how to flush a toilet often took longer than it did to use it and the overwhelming number of kanji on food packages.

But the worst thing about the city was the tourists. More specifically, Americans.

Noll took a seat on the on the Tokyo Metro Fukutoshin line at Shibuya and pulled out a case report to read. It was etiquette for men on public transport to keep their hands visible due to a number of perverts taking photos up women's skirts. His destination was Senkawa, where Mai lived; the idiot had forgotten her purse and he intended to return it before heading home. It wasn't like Senkawa was that far out of his way. It was only the other side of the city to Asakusa…

The train set off and Noll sat in the peace and quiet, reading. No one spoke on the trains, much like the London Underground.

When the train pulled to a stop at Meiji-jingumae (Harajuku), many people disembarked and many people boarded; including four Americans. How did Noll know they were American? Well if the accent hadn't given it away, their loudness would have.

Two of the American men took seats on one side of Noll, with the other two sitting opposite their companions. Noll tried desperately to block their loud conversation out, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Didn't they realise that no one else cared if they were hiring bikes to cycle to some castle or whatnot? Noll just wanted to read in peace.

The train stopped. People go on and people got off. The train pulled away.

They were now showing each other videos on their phones. At least they had had the decency to turn the sound off.

The next stop was Shinjuku-sanchome. Several people boarded all clutching dripping umbrellas – it had started to rain. Noll spotted a little old lady looking for a seat out of the corner of his eye. He began to put his book away when the American beside him jumped up and offered the woman his seat. She took it gratefully.

Once the train was underway, Noll returned to reading his book. As one of the Americans was now stood up and a little way from his friends due to the crowded nature of the train.

The old lady got off a few stops later at Zoshigaya and the American retook his seat as the train took off.

"Ha! That woman got so wet when I offered my seat to her that she left a puddle," he snorted. Out of the corner of his eye, Noll could see said puddle. It had obviously been from the umbrella. Anyone with a brain could see that.

His friends sniggered. Loudly.

Noll thought back to the last time he had been in America. Had they really all been this irritating and disrespectful?

"She was so wet for me," the idiot repeated.

For the first time in his life, Noll really wished he was not bilingual just so he wouldn't have to put up with understanding the tripe that came out of that man's mouth.

"It must be incredibly unfortunate for you if the only way you can get a woman wet is from umbrella water."

The words had slipped out of his mouth before he had realised he had said them. It was like Gene's sassy side had taken control of his mouth for a few seconds. But it wasn't like Luella and Martin hadn't raised him and Gene to be perfect English gentlemen, because they very much had. Only most of the time, Noll chose to ignore his teachings as it was the best way to infuriate Mai.

The American looked round in slight shock at Noll's perfect English accent. His friends sniggered.

"Your mom didn't complain last night," the American retorted. Noll rolled his eyes. Really? 'Your mum' jokes?

The train pulled to a stop at Ikebukuro. The American and his friends stood up.

"I'm sure she will tonight though," Noll muttered just loud enough for the man to hear. The American turned and stared at Noll, who blinked and looked back down at his book. He didn't see the American's eyes widened in pain and his hands shot to his crotch.

The American's friends had to drag him from the train and Noll could hear his groans. He smirked slightly and continued to read until Senkawa, where he disembarked. Noll headed up to the concourse, swiped his Suica card as he passed the barrier and headed for exit four.

It was still trying to rain a little, but Noll did not have his umbrella. He paced down the street until he reached Mai's apartment.

He knocked twice and heard a shout from inside.

"Naru? What are you doing here?" Mai asked once she had opened the door. Noll drew her purse out of his pocket.

"You left it at the office," he stated.

"Oh, I didn't realise it was missing," she mumbled as her cheeks reddened. Mai took the purse from him and threw it onto a nearby table.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked. "I can make tea or… Are you alright? You look really pale."

"Tea would be…" he began to say but his knees collapsed beneath him.

When Noll next opened his eyes, the first thing he registered was a cup of steaming tea in front of him. The second thing he registered was that his head was in someone's lap.

"Naru? Are you awake? Lin's on his way."

Mai sounded worried.

Noll made to sit up, but Mai forced him back down. His head span a little from the small amount of effort he had put into the movement and Noll quickly deduced that sitting up was not yet to be recommended.

"I'm fine," he said.

"You used your PK, didn't you?" Mai asked. He looked up to see her frown and didn't bother denying it. "And you call me an idiot."

Noll didn't respond to her comment. His incident with the annoying American had landed in him in Mai's lap. Even though he knew Lin was going to scold him later, right now, he didn't think he minded tourists quite so much. Especially as he knew exactly what to say next to make Mai blush furiously.

"Why are you stroking my hair?"

As if on que, Mai went scarlet.

Yes, he thought with a smirk, definitely worth it.

Author's note: So the event with the American actually happened to me (except on the Ginza line and I didn't say anything because I was too busy being disgusted and scared that other people would think I was with them because we were the only Caucasians in the carriage) and I was so angry I decided to write a fic using my new found knowledge of Tokyo!

The alternative title for this piece was "American Idiot" but I decided not to use it because I didn't want to offend the Americans I know who are actually lovely. I pity you all for the idiots that give you such a bad reputation...

It's weird, I think many people on here 'Mary-Sue' themselves onto Mai, but I think I do with with Noll. Oops. Ah well. I know he was a little OOC, but I wanted that American to get what was coming to him and fiction is the only way I can do it.

I'M GOING TO DISNEY LAND TOMORROW AND DISNEY SEA THE NEXT DAY OMG I AM NOT EXCITED AT ALL.

I have also started writing an original story, so I was wondering if I posted that on FictionPress (FF's sister site for original work) would you all read it? Let me know in a review! Pretty please!

I'm going to be super sad to leave Tokyo this weekend, I really do love it here and if anyone wants me to be their personal tour guide I am TOTALLY UP FOR THAT.

Edit: changed "mum" to "mom". Eugh, silly Americans.

Please review :)