Hello my dear readers,

I finished my master thesis last week which means I can finally continue my stories - yeah!

Thank you for your patience and encouragement, it meant a lot!

Today I am updating 'heal all the hurt away' and my Fifty Shades Story FSofRose as well as my new Twilight-Harry Potter-Crossover. Check them out if you like troubled heroins.

Although we had a glance into E's POV during their first time I felt that this wasn't enough so our story continues with a recap.

Let me hear your thoughts!

XO Anna

E POV

She wants me to make love to her. She has no idea how long I waited for her to say this, but I am conflicted. She isn't ready. Otherwise we would have done it by now, I made this clear. But I can't have her hurting any longer and I can't lose her. And against my better judgment I pick her up and carry her to our bedroom. After I deposit her on her side of our bed, I hurry to the windows, close the curtains and turn the heat up. She hasn't moved and I wonder again how I can do this. I step in front of her and start to softly kiss her. She kisses me back, but I can feel that she is distracted. I start to slowly undress and now I can feel her eyes on me. I look at her and she quickly turns away, obviously embarrassed that I saw her staring. Now I can't have this, I lay my fingers under her chin and turn her head towards me, "I am yours." I simply tell her and she nods, but her cheeks are still slightly blushed.

My hands go to the hem of her shirt, "may I?" I ask and she nods again.

She wears a small top and a bra under her shirt and I have to stiffen my moan at the thought to see her in her full glory soon. My hands go to the hem of her top, to get rid of it and to finally see her topless, but she quickly puts her hands on mine. "Can I keep it?" She asks and though I am a bit disappointed I could never deny her.

"Of course love" I take a deep breath and wonder how I should continue now. I planned on spending some time with her upper body, worshipping and kissing it, but now I am not so sure. I know that I can't touch her tummy and this isn't helping either. "Do you want to keep your bra, too. It might be more comfortable for you to loose it." She looks at me and I can see that she is unsure. "I don't mind either way." I comfort her. "You are probably right." She says and tries to open the back clasp while still keeping her top on. "May I help you?" I ask, she seems to think about it for a second and nods. She holds her top to her front and turns her back to me. I pull the top a bit down and open the clasp. She extracts her bra from her top and throws it on the ground. It is a very pretty dark blue one and I can't wait to see her in it one day, but now back to the task at hand. Bella fidgets in front of me but seems to come to a conclusion as she stands up and opens her jeans. I smile a bit as I watch how she awkwardly struggles to get out of her trousers and nearly stumbles. I steady her and put her on our bed once again and pull the jeans from her legs. "Thanks." She mumbles and I have to swallow hard. She is so beautiful.

"It's my pleasure." I tell her truthfully and get rid of my own trousers. I join her on the bed and pull our sheet over our bodies. Now only our underwear and her top is left and this is the unclothed we've ever been together, well until now. I pull her to me and start to kiss her again, while my hand roams her naked arms. "May I touch you?" I carefully ask and her anxious "Where?" shows me once again that she isn't ready for me. I close my eyes shortly and I need to ask her again. "Are you sure that you want to do this? It is not to late, we can call Carlisle back and then we will change you." "No! I want this." She states and like she had to prove herself she pushed down her panties and climbed on top of me. This aroused me to no end and I started to feverishly kiss her while my hands caressed her back. I drew circles and other pattern while I got closer and closer to my first goal, her beautiful breasts. At first I would brush the outer edges, but when she didn't protest I got bolder and bolder till I finally cupped her. Her moan showed me that it was ok and I spend the next twenty minutes exploring.

As much as I loved her breasts I needed to move on carefully as not to touch her tummy so my hands caressed her sides and started to explore her tights. But as soon as I was reaching her center she tensed up and tried to push my hands away, which I allowed. But instead of stopping Bella tried to pull my boxer briefs down and I was once again unsure of how to proceed. It was obvious that Bella was more interested in getting over it than enjoying the whole experience and as I couldn't deny my mate anything I made my decision. With one swift tug I turned us around and now she was the one lying under me.

"I don't want to hurt you, please tell me if you want me to stop and I will immediately, ok? It is good to know now how it works so I know that I need to ejaculate; before I…" I started to ramble, I hadn't realized how nervous I'd suddenly be. I had it all planned out so well, I had wanted to make her come first, so that she would be able to enjoy at least a part of it, but Bella wasn't having it.

"Edward, it is no science, just love me, please?"

"I try to be as careful as possible, but please tell me if you are uncomfortable. I can't read your mind."

She nodded and closed her eyes as if she was bracing herself, but this wouldn't do, I needed to see her eyes to tell me how she felt because I feared that she wouldn't tell me.

"Please, keep your eyes open, I need to see them." I considered my next steps and realized that the new plan didn't include preparing her for me and as I couldn't touch her I saw no way to remedy this. Once again I regretted this change of plan.

I got rid of my boxer briefs and ran to Emmett's bedroom in vampire speed and got some lube. So there was an advantage in being a mind reader of other people's sex life. I coated myself in it generously and returned to our bed. I got carefully situated between her legs, inches away from my goal. My penis was throbbing nearly painfully, a feeling I was totally unaccustomed to. I wasn't sure if I saw fear in Bella's eyes, but most of all determination. I repressed a sigh, I knew her answer, but I needed it a last time.

"Are you sure?"

As I know she would she whispered "Yes" and with the part of me that regretted her answer becoming smaller and smaller I carefully pushed myself into her tight carnal.

Hot was my first thought, tight and screamingly hot. And I still only filled her to a small part, but as my penis would find it's way on it's own now I took both of her hands in mine to give her something to hold on to and started to kiss her in the hope of being able to distract her from the discomfort she was bound to feel. I knew that I should reach her barrier very soon so knowing what was coming I hold her tight and tried to non-verbally send her all my love. We passed the next few inches, but I didn't feel any resistance and she seemed to be ok. Soon I reached her cervix and was nearly fully sheeted inside of her body and tried to push a little further. Now I could feel her tense up and I immediately checked her eyes to see that she was ok. For a second I thought I saw panic in her eyes, but it vanished so quickly that I was sure it was just the first shock of feeling so full and connected. And even though I hadn't had to break her hymen she would probably feel a slight discomfort or even pain.

Although everything in me wanted to move I forced myself to stay still and to give her time to get used to this foreign feeling, but soon she started to wiggle under me and I took this as my signal to start to move.