Quick Bio, for anyone who gives a crap (note: written a few years ago, probably out of date):

Name? Check the top of the page, it's there in bold.

Real name? John Doe, first of his name.

Gender? Male, but if you want to call me female I won't mind.

Age? Guess.

Race? Caucasian, or whatever the fancy term is. I just call it white. Really white.

Hair? Blue. I had a row with the sea.

Eyes? ...Isn't this getting a little to personal?

Nationality? Dutch.

Place of residence? Number 10 Downing Street, for all you should care.

Hobbies? Gaming, mostly. Currently cruising through Forza Horizon 4. Also Dungeons & Dragons, listening to/making music, and learning Japanese like the pureblood weeb I am. And writing, obviously.

Music? Tower of Power, mostly the live CDs; Phat Phunktion, Dr. John, Donnie Trumpet & the Social Experiment, Jon Bellion, Nightwish - but only the newer scores, Tarja Turunen's accent is so damn thick that I can't hear the music anymore - aaaaand Here Come the Mummies. Don't look, don't ask questions, just listen, 'cause that shit's god-status.

Movies? Monty Python and the Holy Grail. If that shit was an LP, forget spinning it 'til it turns grey, there wouldn't even be anything left to spin.

Books? Aside from the standard LotR/GoT/HP world-famous type stuff? Eragon (hello, childhood!), I Am Pilgrim was dope, and The Evenings by Gerard Reve is incredible, at least the un-translated Dutch version. Can't speak for the translation.

Anime? Baccano! for life. A little backwater, but hands down the best shit ever.

Individual Characters? Urahara Kisuke, The Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland 2010 (and Through the Looking Glass, obviously), and Han from Naruto.

Random likes? An acceptable new book smell, a long ride on a quiet night, the colour crimson.

Dislikes? Drake (the rapper), and MAH STUBBLE. Fuck off outta my life, ho.

Expanded summaries, 'cause why not:

The Snitch Effect: A curious set of circumstances reminds Harry that there is more to life than goofing off with your best friend. Title refers to the Butterfly Effect, because every single change in this fic is a result of Harry's crush on Hermione.

Formerly known as Taking Things Seriously, this had been my first ever fic before I decided to rewrite the entire thing, simply because I'd looked back and thought, 'Dear lord, that looks dumb. Let's start over.' Que TSE.

All of it - literally every single thing - that happens in the fic is a result of Harry's crush on Hermione. With some of it, I can almost guarantee you'll be like, 'how's that a result of Harry's crush?' Well, four words. Long-term Butterfly Effect. It's where the name of the fic comes from, and I've taken great care to ensure everything lines up.
Some of the other stuff are things 'Rowling didn't mention'. This includes additional alleys, for example. There's also Harry's Metamorphmagus ability - Spoilers! - which was jumpstarted by... something I'm not telling, which was activated by Harry's crush on Hermione; it doesn't make sense when you first read it, but eventually, when the fic gets farther along, it will.

Status: WIP.

Warnings: Character development resulting in minor to major, depending on the character, OOC-ness; an OC, kinda (an already existing, unnamed background character given form); Metamorphmagus-Harry, violence, language, eventually Powerful and kinda Independent Harry.

Pairings: Harry/Hermione (obviously), eventually Ron/Luna, Ginny/Neville

Oo0oO

Erinqua, the Sixth Istari of Middle-Earth: Solana Evelyn Potter was living a rather boring life as an Auror after the defeat of Voldemort when she was whisked away on the midnight of her 25th birthday. Now she is stranded in Middle-Earth with the Deathly Hallows, her photo album, and a set of unknown red robes on her back. Is there a way back? And if there is, will she want to?

...I'm not sure where to begin with this, mostly because I myself haven't even glanced at this in a couple of months.

It's a Harry Potter/Hobbit crossover. Basically, a female - lesbian, because go sexual equality, or whatever it's called these days (and go femslash, because femslash) - version of Harry called Solana Evelyn Potter gets bumped over to Middle-Earth for complicated, un-revealed reasons that have something to do with Valar. She gets a dream where the Valar are discussing stuff along the lines of Smaug, Melkor, Sauron, and Evil, though she can't hear what, and promptly wakes up on top of Bilbo's little shack the evening when Gandalf's little posse arrives. Stays the night, and decides to travel with them in place of Bilbo when she hears of their plan.

Your standard, run-of-the-mill crossover, really. From what little I can remember, Solana has dabbled in the Dark Arts, too, and is attached to her photobook to the point of using wandless magic of some strange kind in a fit of anger when a bunch of goblins stole it. I've got notes lying around somewhere that state her having special powers, too, pertaining to her patron Vala, but I can't seem to remember what they were, or if I've even posted the chapter revealing them yet. So yeah, apart from some interesting twists, it's your standard crossover, and really nothing special. Eventual, far-off chapters will dive into the LotR storyline, too, once I get to writing this again.

Status: On hiatus, awaiting rewrite.

Warnings: Femslash, violence, language, death, and probably other stuff that I don't remember.

Pairings: Fem!Harry/Tauriel, with future pairings involving Aragorn and Gimli and Legolas and crap still unplanned.

Oo0oO

Phoenix: Like the legend of the Phoenix, all ends with beginnings. With the other starters gone and only a freshly born Larvesta left for him, will Ash succumb to a vastly more powerful world, or will he conquer it, to rise amongst the stars a legend?

Phoenix is a little Pokémon project of mine that all originates with the premise of Ash having Larvesta as a starter instead of Pikachu. Basic stuff.

Features Colress, extensive plots, Elite Four members, a storyline that goes all over the place, a father-of-Ash theory that I've never seen before, Gym Leaders with a different team for however many badges you have, actual violence and possible death involving the various Teams, and all sorts of stuff that has yet to enter the fic.

Status: On hiatus.

Warnings: Violence, language, possible future death, plots to take over the world, complicated chapter names, and all sorts of stuff yet to come into play.

Pairings: ...I dunno. Ash/Dawn in the far, far future, maybe.

Oo0oO

The Theory of Magic: Eleven-year-old Harry, a self-taught scientist – because really, what else was he going to do in that cupboard all day? Imitate farting noises? – comes to the conclusion that Magic is the ability to manipulate atoms. What happens when he takes it to the next level?

...Eh. Nothing much to say, here. It's a little 3K word one-shot I made once on a whim. It's a crack-ish thing involving the theory that magic is the ability to manipulate atoms, and Harry's quest to make use of that. Like I said, not much to tell.

Status: Complete.

Warnings: Language, violence, innuendos, death, crack, slightly bad grammar, physics crap, slight Ron-bashing, around three billion uses of the word Eureka, a dick-less Voldemort, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, and it's a small world after all.

Pairings: Non-existent.

A few notes;

-My update schedule is as relaxed as can be, and I write whenever I feel like it, but I'll probably have an upload, like, once every one to three weeks. Sometimes, stuff gets in the way so I might be a bit later, but I'm sure you'll all understand.

-Do not ask me for Yaoi pairings. Ever. I will never, as long as I live, write slash. I have nothing against gay people or anything like that, but when you write a story, you become part of the characters, and part of the characters becomes you. As a perfectly straight man, the thought of me even making googly eyes at anyone or anything with a beard - or, you know, fleshy rod - is enough to give me nightmares. So no Yaoi. Just no.

-On the subject of Betareading, I don't. Simple as that. I just don't have the patience to, so don't even bother to ask. If you want one, there's plenty of people around that'll be happy to do it for you - I found my own by posting a question in one of my chapters, and it worked out fantastically.

-Something completely random, but still kind of important to me personally; there is one fic out there, somewhere, on this site, that suggests in one of its chapters to listen to a track of the band Nightwish while reading it (Last of the Wilds, to be specific). I didn't know of the band's existence before that, and now, Nightwish is my favourite artist. Unfortunately, I completely forgot the name of the fic, so if anyone happens to stumble across it, kindly PM me. I highly doubt that anyone will, but you never know.

-The profile picture is something I scooped up from a random site I don't remember the name of. It made no mention of any credit, so I can't give anyone any. Sorry 'bout that.

(Footnote: yes, I was formerly known as the Baron of Shadows. But because there's that other dude called the Baron of Shadows over on HPFanficArchive people keep telling me about who writes a whole lotta smut I've just decided to say fuck it and relinquish the nickname over to him. So there. Have fun with it, pervert.)