Your Eyes

Summary: Arthur is having his doubts about whether or not magic is truly evil, so Merlin decides to tell him about his magic. Things don't go exactly as he planned. One-Shot

A/N: So, this is kind of my challenge to myself. I'm writing one fanfiction for each episode of Merlin and I am determined to finish this. Some are one-shots, some are longer stories. I ran out of ideas for fanfictions so this is how I'm dealing with that. I give you Season 2 Episode 8.

Season 2 Episode 8

Story 21: Your Eyes

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Merlin asked Arthur anxiously. There was something that was sending shivers of fear down his back, something that had nothing to do with Morgause or where they were standing. He couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible would happen if Arthur saw his mother.

"If you were granted the same opportunity, would you not want to meet your father?" Arthur barely looked at Merlin as he posed his question, because he already knew the answer.

Merlin looked away. It was different. While Merlin had naught a single memory of his father, his mother never talked about him and Merlin learned at a young age that he shouldn't ask; Arthur knew all about his mother. He'd grown up listening to stories about her and had seen paintings of her. Even if he had never met her, he'd already had the chance to know her. Despite those circumstances, Merlin knew Arthur was right. If given the opportunity, Merlin would choose to meet his father in a heartbeat.

"Uther won't forgive you if he finds out you've collaborated with a sorcerer," Merlin told him. It felt hypocritical saying so, considering Arthur collaborated with him frequently, but Merlin was grasping at straws in an attempt to quell his growing feeling of dread.

"What if my father's attitude to magic is wrong?" Arthur asked quietly. He hated to say, hated to think it, but he couldn't get that thought out of his head. If magic was going to give him a chance to meet his mother, how could it possibly be that bad?

"You really think that?" Merlin asked. "Do you really think that magic is good?"

"I don't know. I don't know anyone to use as an example. I have seen it used for both good and evil, and now? It's going to bring me my mother. How can it be terrible?" He asked, his eyes filled with confusion.

"If you knew someone with magic, say someone that you were very close with. What then? Would you believe it to be good?" Merlin asked. He was taking a risk, but if it meant he could finally be free, it was a risk he was willing to take.

"That depends on the person. Unfortunately, I don't think I know anyone," Arthur muttered.

"That may not be true," Merlin told him.

"Tell me then Merlin. Who do you know that is a sorcerer?" Arthur asked skeptically

"Arthur, there's som–" Merlin started to say.

He was cut off by Morgause. "Arthur. It is time. Close your eyes," Morgause told him.

Arthur did as she ordered and listened as she chanted a spell.

He didn't open them until he heard a new voice. "Arthur," a soft voice called. Her voice wrapped around him like a warm blanket.

For a moment, he let himself sit with that feeling and then he opened his eyes to see his mother for the first time. He was barely aware of her repeating his name. "Mother," he said in a barely audible voice. The paintings he had didn't do her justice. She ws so much more beautiful than she ever could have imagined.

"My son," his mother said in a choked voice. She closed the gap between them and engulfed Arthur in a hug. It was the first time that he had ever been embraced by his mother. "When I last held you, you were a tiny baby. I remember your eyes. You were staring up at me."

Merlin froze. Something about what she had just said sounded wrong to him. He couldn't figure out why though. But it had triggered something. Merlin frowned as he mulled over her words. Arthur continued to talk with his mother, but Merlin was too distracted to pay much attention to that. The part that stuck with him was how she said Arthur was staring up at her.

Merlin's eyes widened as a different conversation returned to him. "She died before I opened my eyes." Arthur had told him that. It was something he had said with such conviction. It had to have come from somewhere.

Merlin wanted to warn Arthur, but he was too late. "Your father has deceived you as he deceived me. To create a life, a life must be taken. Your father knew that," Ygraine told her son.

"No," Arthur insisted.

"He sacrificed my life so the Pendragon dynasty could continue. It makes you no less my son, nor me any less proud of you. Now I see you, I would have given my life willingly. Do not let this knowledge change you," she told him.

It was a nice touch, Merlin realized. She made it seem like she didn't want Arthur to kill his father. Merlin could see through it though; he could see she was planting the seed. He knew something wasn't right and with the right seeds, he knew Arthur very well could be driven to attempt to kill his father.

He waited until Morgause was gone to speak. "Are you alright? Arthur?" Merlin asked nervously.

"Fetch the horses. We're returning to Camelot," Arthur told him lifelessly. Merlin recognized the expression on Arthur's face. He was furious, but he didn't want to show it. Instead he hid it behind a mask of indifference.

"Arthur," Merlin said hesitantly.

"Go Merlin!" Arthur shouted.

"No," Merlin said evenly. "Not until you tell me what you are going to do when you return to Camelot."

"You heard what she said. My mother is dead because of my father! He killed her!"

"No," Merlin argued.

"You heard her!" Arthur exploded.

"No!" Merlin shouted as loud as he could. "Think about what she said Arthur. Think about it. You told me your mother died before you opened your eyes."

"So what?" Arthur demanded.

"She said she saw you stare up at her. It was something a normal mom would say, one that didn't know the truth," Merlin told him.

"I was a baby. What do I know?" Arthur asked.

"That had to have come from somewhere. Think about it, Arthur. Right now, what are your intentions when you see your father?" Merlin asked. When Arthur remained silent, Merlin answered for him. "You would challenge him! That's exactly what Morgause wants. She wants you to kill your father. Kill him and Camelot will fall. You will never forgive yourself and no one should rule with guilt. Look at what it did to your father."

"So maybe Morgause is right. My mother is dead because of my father!" Arthur yelled.

"No! She is dead because of magic. It is a tricky thing, something no one can truly control nor understand. Trust me on this. If your father knew of the repercussions of using magic, I doubt he would have ever tried. Think about how your father has acted the past twenty-three years of your life and try to tell me that he doesn't care deeply that your mother is gone," Merlin challenged.

Arthur stared. "You speak as though you have experience with magic," Arthur said quietly.

Merlin studied Arthur for several minutes. His entire life might depend on what he said next. He had the unique ability to make or break Arthur's opinion of magic. The only problem is that he had no idea what would happen if he told Arthur the truth.

Merlin did know that if he told Arthur, he wouldn't have to keep pretending. He did know that if he told the truth, Arthur would finally see the real him. Maybe it would spur him to trust his judgment. Maybe, just maybe, Arthur would finally listen to him. "I do," Merlin said softly. "I have magic. That is how I know that Morgause is tricking you. There was something about the spell she used. I have no doubt that what she told you is true, but I believe she did so in a way that she knew would anger you and would drive you to attack your father."

"You… you what?" Arthur asked, uncertain he had heard correctly.

"I am a sorcerer," Merlin told him. He stood up to his full height and looked Arthur right in the eyes. "I am the sorcerer who is destined to protect you."

"You can't be a sorcerer. You're my manservant," Arthur said, shaking his head.

"I am a sorcerer," Merlin insisted. "I have magic. I was born this way and since I found out about my destiny, I've tried to keep my secret from you, because you are my destiny. I am meant to keep you safe. But I can't do that if today, you murder your father because Morgause filled your heart with hate. I can't do that if Morgause wins today."

Perhaps it was his adamance or the eye contact or even that it answered a lot of questions, but Merlin could see the exact moment that Arthur's resistance crumbled and he began to believe Merlin. As soon as the truth hit him, so did his fury.

Or maybe it was already there and instead of channeling it towards his father, Arthur was now sending all of it towards Merlin.

"Then how am I to trust you? You've lied to me. Over and over and over again," Arthur shouted. "How can you expect me to take your word that you are good and Morgause evil? How am I meant to trust you?"

"Because I would never do anything to hurt you. And despite the cruelty your father has shown to all of the people like me, I do not want to see you kill him," Merlin told him quietly. "You are a good man Arthur. This isn't how you want to become king. Really think about it. How would you feel if you killed your father? You've already lost one parent to magic. Are you really willing to lose another?"

Arthur stared at Merlin. He wanted to be angry at him so badly, wanted to throw him in the dungeons for a week or a month or maybe even a year. But he couldn't. Merlin was right. He had told him about his magic to stop him from doing something he would regret. That wasn't a decision spurred by evil.

"I'm not asking you to make a decision about magic right this moment. I know there are a lot of things happening right now. I just ask that you give me the same consideration you would anyone on trial before you send me to the pyre."

"What are you talking about?" Arthur asked confused.

"You're going to have me killed me, aren't you?" Merlin asked, looking at the ground. The look on his face broke Arthur. He honestly believed that Arthur wanted him dead.

"You know, for a sorcerer, you really are an idiot," Arthur muttered. "Gather the horses. We must head back to Camelot at once. You are to speak to no one of what has happened. Do you understand me? I will seek council with my father when we get back."

"Sire?" Merlin asked.

"No one can know about what happened here. Everything. Morgause, my mother… you. It must stay between us," Arthur said. "Like it never happened."

"Why?" Merlin asked. Just a moment ago, Arthur looked ready to announce to all of Camelot what his father had done. Now, he wanted Merlin to remain silent about everything that had happened? Something wasn't adding up.

"Because for the first time in my life, I have someone I can regard as a friend. Nothing is worth losing that. Not revenge, not petty anger. Nothing," Arthur said, looking away from Merlin. "Now do as I say and fetch the horses."

"Oh yes," Merlin muttered. "I can feel the friendship."

He did as Arthur asked anyway. As soon as Merlin walked away, Morgause stepped out from the shadows that she had disappeared to earlier.

"He's wrong, you know," she told him.

"Is he?" Arthur asked neutrally.

"How do you even know for sure that he has magic?" Morgause asked. "He could be lying to you. He showed you know proof."

"Why would he lie about something that could get him killed?" Arthur asked her. He wasn't sure if it was because he now could see her for who she truly was, but she no longer seemed friendly.

"To build up your trust. If you trust him, you can lead him directly to Uther," Morgause told him.

Arthur shook his head. "No," he told her. "He's had his chance at my father. A hundred times over and he's never taken it. I trust him."

Merlin was almost back to Arthur when he heard the voices. He stopped to listen.

"How can you trust a man who has lied to you for years?" Morgause asked.

"How can you expect me to trust a sorceress who I have barely known a handful of days?" Arthur rebutted.

"I have done nothing to harm you. I showed you your mother," Morgause said furiously.

"You did, but I believe Merlin when he says it was because you knew the effect it would have on me. If not for Merlin, I would have killed my father, or at least tried to. I believe in him," Arthur said strongly.

Merlin couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. Those words meant more to him than Arthur would ever understand.

"You are a fool, Arthur Pendragon. You could have achieved great things if you had done as I wished. I didn't wish to kill you Arthur, but you leave me no choice," Morgause told him.

She drew her sword. Arthur ducked under her first swing. Before he had a chance to counterattack Morgause flew backwards. Merlin walked towards them slowly, his arm outstretched and his eyes glowing gold.

Arthur felt a shiver run down his spine when he looked at Merlin. He was almost unrecognizable. If Arthur had any doubts about Merlin having magic, there was no doubt now. For the first time, Arthur realized what it meant that Merlin had magic. With a whisper, Morgause crumpled to the ground.

"Is she dead?" Arthur asked.

"No," Merlin answered. "I should have, but I couldn't. I couldn't kill her."

"Good," Arthur said seriously. If Merlin had killed her, Arthur wouldn't have known who he was. He would know that he was capable of murder without a second thought. Arthur's mind was spinning. "We must get back. We've been gone far too long as it is."

Hours passed in silence. Merlin, who usually filled every minute with mindless chatter, seemed to sense that Arthur needed time to think.

He didn't utter a word even once they got back to Camelot. He followed Arthur to the council chambers, staying one step behind him.

"Father," Arthur said neutrally when he walked in.

"Arthur! Thank goodness you are alright. What happened?" Uther asked. There were small lines around his mouth, the only indication that he had true concern for his son.

"I went to meet Morgause," Arthur told him. His anger from earlier returned. He had told himself he would be calm, but that was easier said that done. "I know of the circumstances that surround my birth. How could you?"

"What did she tell you?"

"Everything. She told me how your hatred of magic came to be because the magic you used to birth me killed your wife. You have allowed your guilt and sorrow to interfere with your rule. How can you live with yourself?" Arthur asked.

"You have no idea what you are talking about," Uther told him.

"But I do," Arthur said. "It is only thanks to Merlin here that I am as calm as I am right now. He convinced me that it would do no good to kill you. And that it would only turn me into a ruler like you. One that rules out of spite and makes his people miserable because he is miserable."

"How dare you? You take the word of your servant over your own father?" Uther asked furiously.

"Yes," Arthur said evenly. "Because I trust him. I know I can depend on him to be honest with me. I never thought the day would come when I could trust a servant over you, but it has come. I do not feel anger towards you anymore. I only pity you. You are so consumed by your grief that you don't even realize what you have done to this kingdom." Arthur shook his head. "I cannot change what you have done in the past, but I can change what you will do in the future. I will not allow you to wrongfully persecute these people. I am done."

"Arthur!" Uther yelled outraged.

"I am done!" Arthur repeated. He turned and walked out without another word. When the door closed behind him, Arthur felt as if a weight had been lifted off of him. Without having to constantly worry about living up to his father's legacy, Arthur felt free.