EEEEKKKK! I did it! I entered my first ever contest! I combined the better excerpts of 'My Immortal' and 'In Twilight' here: http:///jenniferhelton. Please join this sight and read this 100% original (not connected to any fandom) story and please take a moment to vote!

HERE IS THE ONLY DISCLAIMER YOU WILL GET FROM ME. EVER. I do NOT own almost ANYTHING contained within my stories, except for the plot bunnies (which are peskier than dust bunnies), and any obvious Original Character (which right now is just Kaelyn). If I did, all would be right in the world, and there would not be so much needless suffering for Harry and his compatriots. I am not good with canon, I hate Dumbledore, and I am in counseling for my aggression to 9 out of 10 Weasleys. If there is anything else anyone can think of that I have missed, feel free to shoot me a PM. :)

Go Here: inkitt [dot] com [slash] fandom. Check out their fanfic contest right now. I am going to TRY and finish either The Prophecy or Tampering With Time for this contest. By October 21... Here's to overdosing on caffiene...

I need reviews, so, FEED ME!!! Please. (Thank you.)

http:///index.php?section=3&id=71058 follow this link to read my story 'Taking Over Me' in Russian which was translated by the lovely Lola Kent :)

IMPORTANT NOTICE

I am one of the many ( there should be more) people that have IAOWHPD or the I Am Obsessed With Harry Potter Disorder. Some of the symptoms may include, but do not limit to: blocking out the world when reading Harry Potter, reading Harry Potter over and over again and noticing new fantastic things each time, wishing Hogwarts was real, thinking that at least one character from Harry Potter is hot, comparing everything to Harry Potter or quotes by the characters there in and making your own fantasy life about Harry Potter. If you think you have this disease copy this onto your profile. We don't want to be cured. Support this disease in its uprise to overpower the brains of people and make their lives so much better...:

"In the world of storytelling there is no such thing as an original idea; what makes the story unique is the way in which you use that idea!"

Jessiikaa15, a writer here on fanfic, is my new hero, based solely on the points and arguments contained within her profile, which I have shamelessly copied and shared in examples above. Here is a rant she posted on her profile, and while I have edited it for spelling and grammer, and while I have inserted some of my own thoughts in parenthesis, nothing else has been changed. I must say this lady is BRILLIANT, and we must be related, because this is exactly everything I think about Harry Potter.

Albus Dumbledore: I see Dumbledore as a highly manipulative bastard. In cannon, he set Harry up 'Like a pig for slaughter' as Snape said. He could have saved so many lives if he was honest but instead he wanted Harry on a certain path and ruined those lives instead. He also had a hand in creating 'Voldemort'. He saw what Tom Riddle was like and where he grew up and instead of helping the boy, who at the time was only 11, he held him in suspicion and allowed him to be sent back to the hated and dreaded orphanage every year (much like he did with poor Harry. Hmmm. Doesn't learn from his mistakes does he?). Dumbledore had a responsibility, as Headmaster, to protect and aid all students that passed through his halls and he fails horrendously (especially if they are in Slytherin, because let's face it, why would the idiotic Gryffindor waste any of his precious time on people like Draco or Severus? Or Regulus maybe?).

We see the Philosophers Stone, a priceless magical artifact which is practically a myth, be brought in and hidden in a school for its protection because someone wants to steal it. Nicolas Flammel has had the stone for centuries and this is the first time its been threatened? I think not some how, but yet we see it in the first book and film, then three 11 year olds not only find out what is hidden on the 3rd floor but also manage to get down there to save the stone when their claims are ignored. Two of these children have only just found out about the wizarding world, yet they pass through tasks that just happen to play to their strengths? I smell a test! And where is the great Albus Dumbledore during this? JK tells us that he had a letter from the Ministry and leaves knowing he had a priceless magical artifact in his school, but not only that, Dumbledore is a master legilimence and he didn't realise the darkest wizard of the century was just chillin' on the back of one of his teachers heads (I never thought about this but yes, what the hell Dude?)? Then when it's all over he swoops in and saves the day making him seem like a hero when really he should have prevented the entire situation (and been severely reprimanded when he didn't).

Second year was a joke. (You can say that again. Oi!) He knew who the Heir of Slytherin was and he had suspicions on what he had created but he did nothing (either time might I add, because duh! The Chamber was opened not once, but twice. That isn't a happenstance of being clueless. That is wreckless endangerment of all of the occupants of Hogwarts, and in the muggle world, and even the real world, that is a punishable offense, and a particularly harsh one considering 80% of the Human occupants of Hogwarts are under age). Plus he has all the portraits reporting to him but none of them or himself noticed Ginny Weasley writing messages on the walls or acting at all suspicious? Again he leaves the school knowing Lucius Malfoy would have done anything to get rid of him and leaves a riddled clue for Harry, allowing a 12 year old child to go down and face a basilisk (but again, Dumbledore is the Hero, and Harry gets shipped off back to the Dursleys. It's a wonder Harry didn't flip his shit and turn dark himself. That would be one bad ass dark wizard, the likes of which Voldemort would probably boot lick).

(I now must interject as reading this has made my brain start to churn. Bumblefuck is nothing more than a scared little man playing a dangerous game of chess. While he is bookwise very smart, and while he is an excellent manipulator and bullshitter, he is terrified of that which he cannot control. Hence, Harry and Voldemort. I honestly believe Dumbledore treated them as he did because both of these wizards were more magically powerful than he was, and I also believe the Prophecy was a load of shit. Dumbledore created something he could not control in Voldemort, and in a desperate attempt to reel him in commissioned a false prophecy which had the complete opposite effect of what was desired, and as a consequence ruined no less than 10 peoples lives. Voldemort chased this so called 'savior' thus killing James and Lily Potter, leaving Harry an orphan; caused Sirius to be falsely imprisoned (we'll go there later); Remus to be abandoned and made to suffer due to his condition (aka Dumbledore ruling and ruining his life even further by using his lycanthropy against him); has Alice and Frank Longbottom tourtured into insanity effectively leaving Neville an orphan; and thrust Augusta Longbottom into a roll she was not prepared to assume. And let's not forget poor Snape. A man who was caught between sides, looking for some form of acceptance and love, and who, because of the strings that Dumbledore controlled, was lead to betray his childhood friend and her sweet baby boy. (Lemon drop anyone?) And really, if you pay attention, DUMBLEDORE CHOSE, as in hand picked Harry to be the 'Chosen One'. Why not Neville? What made him, at such a tender age, any more or any less than Harry? Because if you PAY ATTENTION, had it not been for Neville, Nagini would not have died and Harry would NOT have been able to defeat The Dark Lord. So there. Choke on your crack pipe prophecy Albus. And notice how he offers EVERYONE a lemon drop no matter why they come to his office? I think they are laces with some kind of mind control potion, or some kind of complusion potion to make people easier to control. How Dumbledore stayed out of Azkaban after all the shit he pulled I will never know.)

3rd year makes me angry. Dumbledore is chief warlock. He could have gotten Sirius a trial (and I think he did not because legally, Harry went to Sirius upon the death of Lily and James and thus would have been 100% out of Dumbledore's control. Any one else ever think it was odd that Dumbledore thought it was okay to leave Harry with the Dursleys? Where were the wills of Lily and James Potter? Obviously due to her outliving her husband, even by mere minutes, Lily's would have taken presedence, but did no one ever bother to question why no other, far more suitable gaurdians were named? Because it seems to have been pretty common knowledge that Lily and Petunia hated eachother, and that Petunia hated everything to do with magic, and was therefore, the least suitable person on the planet for Harry to live with. And where in the hell was Sirius' will when he died? HELLO????? Dumbledore probably made sure they were lost, douche canoe). He was the head of the wizard court and was considered the greatest wizard in the world, people would have listened to him on either occasion (because honestly, he should have known Sirius would not betray his best friend, who really was more of a brother to him than his own blood brother was, and if nothing else, should have requested a trial, because, why didn't anyone pay attention to the fact that he was missing the dark mark? Freaking conspiracies!), but he just sent two 13 year olds back in time to complete an near impossible mission. (And, one of them was only Harry freaking Potter, Bloody Savior of the Wizarding World, so, why would no one at least listen to what he has to say, and, yeah, people may not take the word of two 13 year olds but if I remember correctly weren't there 2 ADULTS present as well, or are Lupin and Snape irrelevant here?)

The whole goblet incident was stupid. Harry didn't enter willingly so how can he be in a magically binding contract? Being only 14 he should have been offered more help with the tasks but he was left as the school turned his back on him. And how is it that Dumbledore doesn't notice one of his 'dearest friends' isnt actually the man he believes him to be? Mad eye Moody was really Barty Crouch in polyjuice but the great Albus Dumbledore is oblivious as ever, then at the end of the year instead of demanding veritaserum or a pensieve he allows the Minister to say Harry is lying with leads to the 5th year.

Some many things were wrong with this that its almost impossible to put in to words. Leaving Harry in the dark was one of the stupidest things he could have done and then with the hearing which could have been solved again with a few drops of veritaserum but no, Dumbledore swoops in and gets Harry off and leaves the teen on his own. Then Umbridge in the school where Harry was subjected to slander and a blood quill, but nothing was done. Then he takes the rap for the DA because the stupid toad didn't teach them anything and leaves the school in her hands. He makes Harry take occlumency with someone who openly hates him, he doesn't tell Harry what the connection is just sticks him with Snape and then when the whole DoM incident happened he dumps the prophecy on Harry not half an hour after he lost one of the only people that could be considered family.

6th year he didn't actually teach Harry anything that could help him, he could of actually told the boy how to destroy the horcrux's, where they were and what was going on but he decides that Harry should be kept in the dark and allows the teen to watch as someone he hates kills his mentor on the astronomy tower. The final year, somehow even beyond the grave Dumbledore is still manipulating peoples lives, he sets up Harry's departure from the Dursley's through Snape and tells Snape what to do even as he is only a portrait. He told Snape that he had to tell Harry that he needed to die and appeared in limbo to congratulate Harry 'you brave wonderful man', even in death he doesn't explain anything to Harry (I could say so much more here, but I won't. Dumbledore I don't think, expected Harry to survive, and he sure as hell knew Snape wouldn't, and he could have offered Severus a way out, especially when he asked for one but no, that would have messed up Dumbledore's chess game, and the people in his life were no better than pawns on a board, so I am entirely sure he lost absolutely no sleep knowing he was sending dozens of innocent people to their deaths.).

Overall I don't like Dumbledore. Rant over.

Harry Potter: I believe Harry is one of the most complex characters in the entire series. I think that his upbringing had a much bigger effect on him than even he realised, and that it changed a lot of things that could have been. From as far back as he could remember, he had been told that he is nothing but an unwanted freak, he's been locked up in a small cupboard and made to work for meagre offerings while he watches his cousin be adored and spoiled. Everything bad that happened to the Dursleys was somehow Harry's fault, and I think, in an effort to somehow fit in with the image his 'family' was trying to create out of him, it repressed his personality. He was severely starved of affection, emotionally stunted and hyper-aware of exactly how unwanted he was. He had been made to feel like a burden from the minute he lived at the Dursleys and I think their treatment of him made him almost conditioned to certain behaviors.

When the time came for all of the strange things that had been happening to him to be explained, it was like another layer of rules that had been added to him. Hagrid came to a boy who was craving simple acceptance and gave him exactly what he wanted, and then preached that Albus Dumbledore was this great man and that Slytherins were evil, Harry, being only eleven, and having been conditioned to listen to adults, naturally listened to, and believed everything the half giant had to say (and by proxy, never questioned a word or action made by the great and wonderful destroyer of lives, also known as Albus Dumbledore). At the same time however, Harry knew that this new world is a chance for him to be different, especially since he is free from his relatives constraints and he grabs onto this opportunity with both hands. And you can see how much he hated his relatives because he follows the first person to be decent to him in to an unknown place without question. When he gets to the wizarding world, he has suddenly gone from pariah to hero within literal minutes and he is woefully unprepared to deal with exactly what that entails, and it doesn't help that for his entire memory he had been forced to stay in the shadows, to hide to keep himself safe, and now he is thrust in to the spotlight and has thousands of people's expectations thrown upon him without any warning whatsoever.

His meeting with Draco Malfoy could have gone better, Harry should have been briefed on the basics of the wizarding world, or at least Hogwarts, before stepping foot in Diagon Alley. However, it also didn't help that Malfoy reminded Harry of someone who had helped make his life miserable. Harry's first year was a bit of a joke, Snape was a fool to treat Harry like he did because Harry has never been like James, and it would have been impossible for him to be. James was privileged and an only child, brought up loved by his parents, confident, rich and always popular, something Harry never was (but in Snape's defense, Dumbledore had lead everyone to believe that Harry had had the best of childhoods and so Snape was expecting a spoiled brat and not a scared little boy). I do understand why Harry went after the stone, though. Finally, after 10 years of misery, he had something to hold on to, something that he wanted to keep and he wasn't about to let it all go to someone who had taken his parents from him no matter what. Second year was a laugh, Harry had only been in the wizarding world for a year and he was expected to know that speaking to snakes was bad?

I hate the fact that people took his name and made so many assumptions about him, to the point where he didn't even know how to act himself. He was pushed and pulled in so many different directions that it was actually dizzying. He had to rely on himself for so long that he found it ridiculously difficult to place trust in others, and then, when he did, he found himself back where he started; alone. His wish to be accepted, to have someone for himself is practically thrown at us when we see Sirius enter on third year, Harry has only known of this escaped criminal for 8 months and has only know he was not guilty of what he was put in prison for, I.E the betrayal of Harry's own parents and the murder of 12 muggles, for half an hour and he is willing to drop everything and move in with him. Forth year, despite everything, Harry survived. He got through something that 7th years struggled on, he was forced to compete in this deadly competition, and yes he was given help but he was 14, and Barty Crouch Jr didn't make it easy for him.

He was forced to participate and watch in a ritual to ressurect the man who killed his parents and has repeatedly tried to kill him, the man who, ultimately, forced him in to a life of servitude and abuse at the hands of his relatives and then tried to kill him again. And still he survived. He was cut off from the world he was grown to love for nearly an entire summer after watching someone die and seeing Voldemort be reborn, he was left alone to defend himself when he was attacked and NO one is there for him, everyone is treating him like a child but at the same time they expect him to be this figurehead for the light. There is also the huge smear campaign that the ministry has against him and everyone just allowed that to happen, no one steps up and makes Harry take truth serum or takes his memories, they just call him a liar and throw him under the bus. And yet Harry still survives. He deals with Umbridge, the Ministry, the Dark Lord, teaching others how to defend themselves, occlumency, Dumbledore ignoring him, and THEN Sirius dies before his eyes.

Sirius' death is something that could have been prevented with Dumbledore simply being honest with Harry. Instead, the person who accepted Harry wholeheartedly is ripped away prematurely. And mere hours after he's witnessed the death of his godfather and his friends be attacked, Dumbledore then dumps the prophecy on him and gives him some shitty excuse for not telling him. It's despicable, but Harry shows how strong he is because he carries on, he continues to fight despite everything he has suffered. Sixth year he is back to being hero, but the war is growing and Harry has a monumental pressure on him, he now knows that he is the ONLY person who can stop Voldemort (again i have to ask why? One day makes all the difference between Normal Neville and Hero Harry? Give me a break! Again, I point out that the prophecy was a falacy, and you can like it or leave it. Nevilles parents were Aurors so I am sure that they had thrice defied ol Snake Face as well) and he feels like it's impossible but yet he doesn't give up and he does not run. Dumbledore, the man Harry has seen as a mentor, is then killed in front of him, and, even though he has repeatedly told the Order and the Headmaster that he KNOWS Draco Malfoy is up to something they ignore him (and Dumbledore admits to Draco that he knew something was wrong, but then again, Draco Malfoy is a lowly Slytherin who is beneath the notice and offer of aid from our esteemed headmaster and thus is allowed to slip through the cracks like another Slytherin (or two) did so many years before him).

They ignore someone who, despite spectacular odds, has never been wrong about someone. He knew someone was after the stone; they were. He knew Hagrid didn't open the Chamber and believed it to be with Moaning Myrtle; it was. He tried to tell the world that the Dark Lord had returned; He had. Then in sixth year he told them all, even his friends, that Malfoy was up to something and they brushed him aside like it was nothing. And they paid the price. But still, Snape killed Dumbledore and the old man leaves Harry with an impossible task, he hasn't told Harry how to destroy the Horcruxes and he leaves the world believing that Snape killed him maliciously (because he never intended for Snape to survive the war anyway, did he?). Harry takes on this mission, his only help being two people who are his age, and they are alone. Yet he continues, he fights through the impossible, collects the Horcruxes even though he knows the war is raging on. He fights all of his instincts to go and actively fight, knowing this is the only way to finally get rid of the Dark Lord. He believes that after he has collected all these items he will only have the man himself to take down, he can finally see a future, only for it to be brutally crushed as Snape dies.

He's shown the memories of a man that he believed hated him to find out that he wasn't what he seemed, but the most crushing thing is that a man he looked up to, a man he believed cared for him was raising him for the sole purpose to die at the right time. Harry, who is 17 years old, has just found out that there is no future for him, there is no happy ending for him, that the only way for the world to be rid of evil is for him to die. Not only does he have to die, he has to be killed by the very man he has been fighting to destroy.

But yet he doesn’t run, he doesn’t cry or scream at the injustice, he doesn’t even share this terrible burden. No, he gets up and he walks to his own death. The sheer amount of will power, the amount of raw bravery that Harry has is phenomenal. Unprecedented. He, despite knowing he is going to die, that he is going to be killed, stands and faces Voldemort, he looks him in the eye and lets himself be murdered. Obviously we know it doesn’t work, however, Harry walked in to the forest believing that he was going to die. That amount of courage is commendable. When Harry gets up again and the battle restarts, and I prefer the book version of this, (I actuslly prefer the movie version, but to each his own), he goes directly the Voldemort, protecting others on the way. Harry, in what may be his finest moment, taunts Voldemort in front of everyone, he stands up and faces him, he taunts and mocks him and then ultimately beats him in a fight of wills.

Yet there are things I don’t understand about him. He is powerful, he had performed incredible feats, and yet he is made out to be mediocre at times, and I hate it. He stood up to Voldemort at 11; fought and killed a 1000 year old basilisk and survived the bite, at 12; drove off over 100 dementors with one spell, a spell that many fully qualified witches and wizards cannot cast, at 13; participated and won a tournament that people have died in, and escaped a duel with the most powerful and feared Dark Lord in over a century, at 14; defied the Ministry and Umbridge repeatedly, taught numerous other people how to defend themselves actively and then fought and aided in the capture of the inner circle death eaters at 15; battled death eaters again at 16; broke in to the Ministry while a wanted fugitive, broke in to Gringotts and successfully stole from a high security vault and then rode out on a dragon, broke in to Hogwarts while it was being run by Death Eaters, and then defeated Voldemort, all at age 17. All of these things illustrate that Harry is powerful, a lot more so than the average person, and I don’t like the fact that he is sometimes made out to be heavily reliant on others. He’s a survivor, he has always been a survivor, and has shown that, if needed, he can make it on his own.

Harry Potter is a brave, honest, and ridiculously strong person. He is a completely unique individual, he has his flaws and he knows it, but he also has his strengths. And unlike others, he does not gloat, brag or exploit them for himself. Harry is a incredibly selfless, sometimes too selfless, but over all a good person. He had the option to turn out exactly like Voldemort, he had the upbringing to do so and yet he didn’t. That is a flaw I have found in his written character. I love Harry, I do, and when I personally write him I take many of his qualities because they deserve to be highlighted. However, you cannot have someone who has been abused, broken down and shunned suddenly become the embodiment of a good and light; it just doesn’t work. As I said, he’s a survivor, he’s been made to survive with nothing, and been made to look after himself, he shouldn’t have suddenly gave a crap about all these people that never gave a damn about him. J.K wrote HP in a very black and white world, and Harry was the white. He did go against all odds, but I suppose that’s what made Harry, Harry, he did things that no one else would. What no one else could!

There is no one like Harry Potter.

Molly Weasley: is a cow. She shows clear favourites with her children and smothers them. She is totally unfair to the twins and is always comparing them to their older siblings, its no wonder Ron has a severe complex! (And she is the whole reason Ginny is a skank)

Ginny Weasley: I don't really like her (I on the other hand can't stand the wench). Well, it's more of how she was portrayed really (cause she was made out to be a gold digging Jezebel who was only after Harry for his money and his fame; not his heart). I feel that it was an extremely wasted opportunity when it came to her character, but what I hate the most is paring her with Harry. That is not, in any way, a reasonable match. I cannot fault her for being a fan girl, she would have grown up in the wizarding world where Harry Potter was a household name, and children were told stories about him from a young age. She cannot be blamed for that. However, when she grew up and got over the fact that Harry was just a person then she was ok. I think that there could have been a lot more to her, book Ginny was a lot better than film Ginny for sure, but, for someone like Harry, I don't think she is the right match. Especially given the fact that Harry doesn't like the attention and she was one of his biggest fans. I don't know, Ginny was very one dimensional (snogging and money and fame. No brains, minimal beauty).

Sirius Black: Sirius has had a hard life, we know about his time in Hogwarts and we know the basics of his home life, but we don't know details. It's obvious that his parents, especially his mother, hated him and that had a big effect on him. He ran away when he was 16 showing that it got to a stage that he could no longer handle it and I think that affected him more than he ever let on. Sirius rebelled against everything his parents wanted him to be, and that, I think, is why Severus got the brunt of Sirius' attacks. Severus Snape was everything Sirius was supposed to be, with his love for the dark arts, in Slytherin, and therefore everything he hated. I'm not excusing Sirius' behaviour, it was wrong and he showed himself to be the Black that he hated when he continuously attacked someone with a careless disregard that originally had done nothing to him. But, he was hurting and he took it out on the wrong person.

When James and Lily died I think that was what finally broke Sirius, he had 4 friends that he trusted with his life, which to him, with the family his had, was a big deal, and he found out that one of them betrayed them and the other, the one he was closest to, was dead. When he tracked Peter down, it was never more apparent that the Black madness had touched him; he had lost everything so he laughed instead of crying. Azkaban did him no favours and he didn't help himself, but he should have been given a trial and I think, if he had been raising Harry with Moony then he would have healed, something, I believe, he never did. And with that, he never fully grew up. He took too many risks simply because he didn't truly know the consequences and that, unfortunately, resulted in his death. I think Sirius had much more hidden to what he let the world see, I think it was one of the worst things J.K did when she killed of Sirius.

Remus Lupin: I have two opinions of Remus. On the one hand he is the one of the biggest cowards imaginable. He was turned in to a werewolf at a young age, but he gained three friends that broke the law to support him every month in his time of need. He got through school and went against his nature to fight for the light, which is extremely brave, however, when Lily and James fell, instead of sticking around and trying to work out what had happened he fled. He left one of his best friends, one that risked everything for him and fled, even if he didn't know that it wasn't Sirius who betrayed the Potter's, he didn't stick around to see him be sentenced or see Pettigrew get the send off a supposed hero deserved. He just ran. And, adding to that, another of his best friends, and his wife, had just been murdered and he completely disregards their child without so much as a thought, hiding behind the excuse of him being a werewolf. When he returned, he didn't engage Harry in reminders of his parents, he didn't connect with his best friend's son and he didn't even tell Dumbledore about Sirius being an animagus to protect Harry because he was too afraid. Later on, after the war broke out, he was back fighting for the light and he finally gave in to Tonks, but what disgusts me the most, and I completely agree with Harry on this, is when he tried to abandon his unborn child. No matter what, he should have stuck it out, he helped create that baby and it was his responsibility, his duty, to look after that child with everything he had. I also think he was foolish to go in to battle when he had a newborn child, he should have hid and been there for his child, instead, he left him to grow up an orphan and that is not fair; no matter the circumstances.

On the other hand, Remus Lupin was one of the strongest men alive. He survived being bitten by a werewolf at a young age and he went through numerous transformations with no support and nothing to help ease his suffering. He made it to Hogwarts and, despite the fact that he was forced, every month, to go through an excruciating process of his entire body changing in to something completely different and, worst of all, having no control of his actions, he still managed to get consistent high grades throughout his schooling. Then, he followed his three closest friends to fight for the light, going against his very nature, turning down offers of freedom and acceptance, something he desperately wished for to stick to his beliefs and his friends. He tried to follow the law and got shunned, but still he continued to fight for the good of the world, and for the people that looked upon him as if he was scum without a thought. He was extremely brave to continue throughout the circumstances, and when it didn't look to get any worse, Remus suffered three tragic blows in an instant.

First, Lily and James were murdered, then he believed that Sirius betrayed them all to the lure of the dark, something he had been denying his entire life, and then Peter was dead at the hands of Sirius. He lost everything (except, it seems he forgot, Harry). Those who meant everything to him, those who accepted him unconditionally were ripped away within a week and still he survived, yes he disappeared, but he got on with his life and soldiered on. He returned to the wizarding world when Sirius escaped and he had his entire beliefs shaken when he came face to face with the one he believed took everything from him, only to find out that Sirius was innocent, that his best friend never betrayed him and remained true even after all these years. Pettigrew escaped leaving him helpless to help Sirius, but he continued to try his best. Through all of this he was still forced to transform in to a mindless beast, and he had been made to do it alone for so many years when he shouldn't have been that way. Then, in '95, the best friend he had only just go back was ripped away from him before his eyes, leaving him alone in the world again.

And yet he continued to fight. He kept at the war effort and actively participated, despite everything that had happened. He found someone who accepted him and fell in love with Tonks, and in an effort to protect her and his son he tried to leave, knowing that he was endangering her for just being with her. And, while it was overtly wrong, he was well meaning and he tried to do what he believed best. Then, during the final battle, he was forced to leave his son to try and defeat the 'evil' and finds his wife in battle, only for her to be struck down and soon to follow her. Remus Lupin went down fighting, he went down as a strong man, a man who went against all odds and lived. No matter how hard it became, no matter how many times it seemed that it was impossible to overcome the next hurdle, he continued to fight. And for that he has my respect.

Draco Malfoy: Draco is the epitome of spoilt pureblood prince that believes everything should be laid out before him simply because he is a Malfoy. He acts like he has no thoughts that came from his own head, everything is something his father said and when he doesn't get what he wants he threatens anyone with his father. There are so many things that are wrong with how Draco is and how he acts, but he had never had a good example to go by, because Lucius was more interested in his image and his money than teaching his son the correct way to behave. But, on the other hand, when the time came, Draco did stand up for what was right. He didn't do it in an obvious way and he didn't necessarily stand up and fight, but he didn't give Harry away when he knew exactly who it was even when he was promised everything would go back to how it was when Voldemort wasn't displeased with the Malfoys and, in the film, it couldn't have been more obvious that Draco didn't want to go over to the Dark Side again. Only the fact that his mother, one of the people I believe he cared deeply about, asked him too, and in the film all of the Malfoys fled. I've never been able to make up my mind on Draco (I firmly believe that Draco only did Voldemort's biding to save his mother, and that Dumbledore offered both him and his mother a way out he would have taken it. I believe that in the beginning he wanted to be Harry's friend to win the praises of his father but that had Harry offered him friendship later in life he would have gladly accepted it simply because he wanted to be his friend). Whenever I write him in I usually change it up, sometimes he's good and sometimes he's bad, more often than not I make his good (Draco for me is always good, even if Fred and George have to torment him to be so.).

Fred and George Weasley (because you cannot have one without the other. Long live Forge and Gred): I personally believe that killing off Fred was the worst thing J.K did, even worse than the deaths of Sirius and Remus (because they were grown ass men who should have known better, and Fred was simply fighting with his other half.)! Like I said in my rant about Molly, she's so smothering and she's completely awful to the twins about their chosen career path and in the then they end up being more successful than any other Weasley before them! Harry seemed to be the only one who saw the twins as individuals. (they are individuals, but they are truely like 2 pieces to one whole. How is George expected to survive?) Instead of Fred and George and in turn they saw Harry for Harry and not Harry Potter. I love them.

Severus Snape: I'm a bit iffy on Snape (not me tho. Bring on the Snape. Oh my heart bled for him. I read his death and his memories and promptly threw my book out the window and cried. And then I watched it in the movie and I was a blubbering mess. I never truely hated Severus. Sometimes I wanted to choke him, but I never hated him, and then the truth came out and I blamed Dumbledore, and that stupid James Potter, and arrogant Sirius, and Remus who needed to stand up and rein his friends in, and, poor Lily, I can't even imagine). Sometimes I love him but sometimes I hate him (Nope, I always love Snape because really, no one has ever been able to say just one word and make me cry. ALWAYS. I'm a mess). I write him good and bad because I can never decide which I prefer (I tried writing him bad once, it was aweful. The worst 5 minutes of my life. I don't ever write him as some soppy weirdo, and he is always snarky, and short tempered, and cold, but deep down he is always good, and he does open up to the select few he lets close to him, mainly Harry). Snape, deep down, was a good man. Yes, the Marauders were cruel to him, but I don't believe they made him the way he was, that I think was a mixture of many things and perhaps the Marauders played a part. Granted, Lily marrying his tormentor is enough to have anyone pissed off, and all the other factors in his life such as his nasty childhood, the Dark Lord, Dumbledore and the war itself is not an excuse for how he treated Harry. Yes he was a triple spy and he had very little room to breathe, but how he behaved and acted with Harry is just wrong. The way Snape grew up he should have known that there was something wrong with Harry. He knew James Potter since he was 11 years old and there is very little, minus appearance, that Harry actually shares with his father. Snape was blinded by a face which had been dead for ten years and it clouded his judgement and his thoughts (sadly I agree. But I do think that Snape hated Harry not because he was the son of James Potter, but because he WASN'T the son of Severus Snape, if that makes sense. Erego my favs are Severitus fics), he worked as a spy, he is one of, if not, the best at noticing things that others didn't; he had to or he would be dead. But he was so blinded by hatred and envy that he failed to see a child struggling in a new world and that is inexcusable.

Oh, I know he was a total badass, and I wish he hadn't died so he could have made peace with his demons, but I do not think that, if he got there, that Lily would be too pleased with how he treated her only son; the one she died to protect.

Tom Riddle is amazing. I do not care what anyone says! I freaking LOVE Tom Riddle!! Like, he is, I think, my all time favourite character because he practically has it all (eh, whatever. Severus Snape will always be mine, but I see so much potential in Tom as well, so we'll keep it). He's intelligent, beyond that, he's charismatic, charming, smooth, cool, dark and extremely extremely hot! Everything just seemed to come effortlessly to him, he could do anything and he did. He grew up in hell, he was hated and scorned because he was different and he didn't let that stop him, he made himself better, stronger and more powerful than those who treated him like shit.

I know he was evil and I know he was monstrous, but I cannot help but admire his will power to keep going no matter what stood in his way. I believe that if he had not lost his rational mind, which created Voldemort, he would have won the war without a doubt. If he could run and rule an army of such masses when he was insane, then when he was sane it wouldn't have been a problem (touche my fine friend). As to the fact that Dumbledore was the only one he ever feared - I believe that that is complete crap. I believe that Riddle was wary of Dumbledore because the Headmaster knew more about him than anyone else and knew where he came from, he also knew that Dumbledore was powerful and could block him if he wanted to so he became extremely cautious around the old man (why any one would fear that old codger I'll never know. Probably because he was a psychophant just like the rest, only he could kill someone, or falsely imprison them and get away with it). He became Voldemort when he lost his mind and I think a large part of that was down to the Horcruxes. Seeping himself in dark magic was one thing, but it wasn't enough to send him as insane as he was (take the Black family for example, one of the, if not the, darkest magical families in the wizarding world and while some of them were slightly insane, they never completely lost it - I'm of the opinion that Bellatrax was just a sadist.

So I think with all the dark magic, so many horcruxes and living as a disembodied spirit for 13 years sent him over the edge to what we know as Voldemort (4th year). Voldemort was weak. Not magically so, but in worth. He was nothing more than an animal driven by the need to control everything but he couldn't control himself. Voldemort did not deserve the title of Dark Lord, he deserved to be bested by Harry because it was of his own arrogance that he lost, where Voldemort did not deserve it, Tom Marvolo Riddle was a true Dark Lord (another good point. I also like to read stories that seperate these two entities).

Bellatrix Lestrange: I can't help but love Bellatrix. She was one of the most loyal characters in the entire book. She may have followed the 'wrong' side and she may have took it to the extremes, but she never ever ever had any doubts about what she stood for and who she was loyal too (I don't love Bella. I don't hate her, but I don't love her. She was firm in her beliefs and loyal to a fault, but I think if this series wasn't so PG rated it would have come out that she was just Voldemort's favorite whore). Even in the very end when it was apparent Voldemort was going to lose, she stuck with him and she was the last of his remaining forces to fall showing that she was also incredibly powerful and skilled despite her insanity. I hate that she killed Sirius, but at the same time it was war and they were on opposite sides and if he was in her place Sirius would have probably did the same. The attack on Neville's parents, while it was completely horrendous, there was also a reason behind it and because of that I can’t fault her for it. She was followed her Lords orders, once again showing her loyalty, and as Neville was the other child of the prophecy and Bella was Voldemort's most devoted and loyal follower, it was only right that she be sent after him. And I expect that, if they had not been caught when they did, they would have finished the job. They were also searching for their Lord who had mysteriously disappeared. I cannot help but respect her too. Simply because she and the others involved in the attack stood up and faced prison for their cause and even when she was sentenced to life in Azkaban Bella still stood in front of the Ministry and showed her faith and complete belief in her Lord and that is something to be commended even if her loyalty and beliefs were in the 'wrong' side.

Barty Crouch Jr: Barty reminds me of Malfoy in the respect that he always sought his father's approval. Crouch Sr never paid enough attention to his son, and to Barty it seemed as if nothing he did was ever good enough. Though his mother loved him dearly, it was his father that Crouch wanted to impress and it showed in the fact he got 12 OWLs. He joined the Death Eaters because the Dark Lord showed interest in his intelligence and Barty switched his need to impress from his father to Voldemort, becoming obsessed with pleasing his new master, who he saw as a replacement father figure. One he believed was much more superior to his own father. Barty was ridiculously intelligent, as well has highly cunning and extremely observant, so much so, he was able to masquerade as Alistor Moody for nearly a year under Dumbledore's very nose. Thus showing his ability to work with anything. His hatred for his father grew with the neglect the man showed him in his youth and I think, when his father controlled him for ten years with the Imperius curse, it blinded his usual quick mind as his need to reunite with Voldemort became priority. His loyalty to the Dark Lord is easily matched to that of Bellatrix Lestrange and, like her, I cannot fault him, because he never doubted. The only time he seemed to waver was when faced with the Dementors and he pleaded with his father to see reason, but I believe that wasn't a show of wavering loyalty, but something that would enable him to continue looking for his fallen Lord. I believe, if he had not been kissed, Barty would have been the last to fall with Bella in the final battle. I truly enjoy Barty's character, and I was very disappointed to see him removed so quickly from the series.

Luna Lovegood: I love Luna, there is something about her uniqueness that just draws me in. She's just so... fresh! She has no normal restraints and lives completely in her own way, she is one of the very few people that literally could not give any less of a crap what others think of her and it is freakin' brilliant. But, I also think that the creatures are a defence or a coping mechanism after her mother's death (yeah, I don't. I think Luna has extraordinary magic that allows her to see 'beyond'. It's like she is able to maintain the beliefs of a child, but I believe that the things she sees are very real, and that others are just not as intuned to the magic as she is.). Luna is one of those people who are hard to read, but she is still one of my favourites! She is just an awesome character that is so under rated.

Ron Weasley: Ron to me can be seen in two different lights. One where he was loyal to Harry in the end, even as his jealousy got in the way and he left, he always came back. He was strong, loyal, clever and a damn good friend.
On the other hand, he was a jealous prat that left his friend in his time of need and Harry was a mug to take him back soeasily, granted in DH Ron did save his life so it was acceptable, but in 4th year it wasn't (I'm working on not seeing Ron as a right foul little git.).

Minerva McGonagall: I've always had questions about McGonagall. Over the years, she has seen a lot, she has seen generations lost to war and faced two wars herself and she came out of both alive. She was strong, independent, powerful and respected. She is a woman who was staunch in her beliefs, but I was disappointed when she let Harry down in two of the most crucial points in his life. She should have stuck by her instincts when it came to Harry's placement with the Dursleys, she shouldn't have blindly followed Dumbledore's word when she knew that Harry would not be well cared for, and I think that is a mistake she will have to make up for for the rest of her life. The second time was with Umbridge. She didn't even hear Harry out, her student, the son of two of her favourite students, was being tortured by a teacher and she didn't take the time to find out. Harry was left alone to deal with mass criticism, mental attacks, threats from the Dark Lord and then he was shunned in school when he needed someone to help him desperately. I truly believe McGonagall is a good person, but there have been points where I wish she would have simply listened.

Dolores Umbridge: Simply put... I hate her (freaking toad). Nothing less. She is my most hated character in the entire series, the fact that we never find out if she dies or not was the worst thing because I was praying for a horrible, painful, humiliating death (yes!). I do not even think I can explain how much I HATE that woman and every time I see the actress in another film I'm forcefully reminded of Umbridge and I have to sit there and grit my teeth (Maleficent was ruined cause that damn woman was one of the freaking fairies. I mean...COME ON!). I think, because she was supposed to be on the 'good' side, like she was from the ministry, the place where its supposed to be the good of the people which made her character a whole lot worse. She was vile. She's one of the worst type of people, she would smile as she killed you and then justify in a way that no one would dispute. I can find no redeeming qualities to her whatsoever (AGREED)!!

Hermione Granger: Hermione is a difficult one for me because sometimes I hate her and sometimes I love her. I perfectly understand that the Trio wouldn't be anywhere without her, but sometimes I feel that she also holds them back. With her constant need to know everything and be the best at everything she forces people in to her shadow which then makes them act negatively towards her. We see in 6th year that she hated the fact that Harry became better at potions than her and her belief that books are infallible is nothing more than an annoyance. However, I kinda admire her because despite the fact that she was a muggleborn; she kicked ass!

Neville Longbottom: I feel for Neville because of his grandmother and her overbearing nature, she forced the image of Frank Longbottom on to him and it was only when Harry stepped up and told Neville he could be a powerful wizard did he come in to his own. I did like what he became and when he took out the snake, despite me being a massive lover of everything dark, I couldn't help but be like YES GO NEVILLE!! I don't know if he could have been the chosen one however, Neville, while becoming an amazing wizard, couldn't have faced what Harry faced simply because of his upbringing. His grandmother stunted him too much (totally agreed).

Vernon Dursley: Vernon is one of those characters that embodies the word scum. Like Umbridge, I have no love for him, but unlike Umbridge, I can sort of understand his behaviour. He is not a blood relative to Harry, and he married in to the strangeness that comes with magic, and I can understand that fear causes people to act in irrational ways. However, his behaviour was truly reprehensible and, in no way, excusable.

Petunia Dursley: There is absolutely nothing that can excuse her behavior in reguards to her nephew. She knew all about magic, and yes, she was jealous, and yes, she feared something she would never understand, but that is not an acceptable reason to treat Harry as she had done. She, quite frankly, abused her nephew in the worst possible way, she tore him down for something that she knew about and he had no control over, she punished him for things that she expected to happen and took her resentment and bitterness out on an innocent child. A child that had did nothing to her or her family, except become an orphan. What makes it worse is if the positions were reversed, Lily would have looked after Dudley as if he was her own and thought nothing of it, simply because it was her sister's child. And what makes it worse is that she didn't have to take Harry in, she took him in with the promise of protection, when he would have been better off elsewhere. She is the worst possible example of a human, and she reminds me of the muggle version of Umbridge.

Dudley Dursley: Dudley is a product of the environment he was brought up in. I can't hate Dudley because he has never known anything else. From the day he was born he had been spoilt, and then when Harry arrived he has only saw his parents treat his cousin with nothing but contempt, disgust and disregard. His father was a bully, and encouraged his son to be the same. Dudley was encouraged and praised for treating Harry like dirt so it became second nature to him. The thing I liked about Dudley was that he grew up and he saw that his parents were wrong, he knew that his behaviour was not acceptable and, though it was too late, he did still try to rectify it. After Harry saved his life he opened his eyes to the real world, and when he said to Harry 'I don't think you are a waste of space' I felt unually pleased, because it showed that people can change. I like to think that Dudley grew out of his father's bullying ways, settled down and made a decent life for himself.

So yeah that's my a few of my HP thoughts!

As I mature

I have learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I have learned that no matter how much I care...some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that you had better have either a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. They are more screwed up than you think!

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you are finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that no matter how hot and steamy an affair is at first, the passion fades. Then there had better be a lot of money to take it's place.

I've learned that 99 percent of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the most important people in your life are taken away from you much too soon and the unimportant ones simply won't go away.

MAYBE

Maybe...we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe...when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe...it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe...the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe...the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe...you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

Maybe...there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe...the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe...you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe...you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if t is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe...giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe...happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe...you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe...you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy

Maybe...you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Maybe...you could send this message to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life, to those who can and do make you smile when you really need it, to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, and to all those whom you want to know that you appreciate them and their friendship. And if you don't, don't worry; nothing bad will happen to you. You will just miss out on the opportunity to perhaps brighten someone's day. (anonymous)

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas? This week, I found out. From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol...so pass it on if you wish.'

Merry (Twelve Days of) Christmas Everyone (Anonymous Author)

ODD HARRY POTTER FACTS

Remus Lupin is an anagram for Primus Lune which translates to 'first moon' in latin.

The first Harry Potter book was published in America in 1998, the same year the final battle of Hogwarts was fought. 'I OPEN AT THE CLOSE'.

In Prisoner of Azkaban Trelawny refuses to sit at a table with 12 other people stating that she would be the 13th and that the first to stand after that would die. In Order of the Pheonix, 13 members of the Order are sitting and the Sirius is the first to stand.'

SERIOUSLY. Enough said. WATCH THIS! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uvkdiTN5vY

HEART BROKEN. I loved Severus to begin with but wow. For those of you who do not like or respect Snape, maybe this will change your mind. It is a very beautiful description of Snapes character by Alan Rickman (who plays Snape for those of you who don't know). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i16NigDQ2HA

MIND BLOWN. Best trailer I have seen involving a fanfic for Dramione. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUkwPKTy0jo. Now I must track down the story... http:///viewstory.php?sid=1&index=1

PRETTY NIFTY IF YOU'RE A DRAMIONE SHIPPER. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyfdKwHfF1M

I have, in the last SEVERAL days, read right around 100 stories, and of those 100 stories at LEAST 80 of those were stories in which one individual confesses their feelings for another individual and the immediately go at it like a bunch of rabbits and have the most mind blowing experiences ever. I have come to the conclusion that these stories are absolutely ridiculous, and I hope that I never fall into that line of thought, cause it just don't happen.

Copied and pasted from hazeldragon's profile because it is so moving.

In Remembrance...
In Remembrance of Severus Snape, a Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor (without all the red and gold crap).
In Remembrance of Fred Weasley, who fought bravely to the very end, and whose jokes will forever brighten his other half. and will loyally await his soul mate and brother with many jokes (he's got forever to think of them, right?).
In Remembrance of Dobby, who was more free and full of love than any elf, and most humans.
In Remembrance of Remus J. Lupin, the last real Marauderer, who was not just a wonderful father. but an incredible husband and brave hero, as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.
In Remembrance of Nymphadora Tonks, who died for ‘the greater good’, and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.
In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody, who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive, and scared the crap out of some kids too.
In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort, who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger, but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end.
In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore, whose past and wisdom confused us, whose seeming betrayal shocked us, but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end, despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.
In Remembrance of Bellatrix Lestrange, because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with those spells! She deserved everything she got and more.
In Remembrance of Colin Creevey, who we really didn’t know too well, but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war, so he must’ve done something good besides stalking Harry.
In Remembrance of Hedwig, Harry's actual first friend, who lived and died soaring.

Stolen from MagnaVictoria's profile who stole it from Ryu Pendragon who stole it from Dagget

The Idiot's Guide to Flaming

Here it is ladies and gentlemen. I am going to personally hand out some tips on how to properly flame.

Now I will admit that I've only ever been flamed once, but let me tell you that it was a sore disappointment. I was waiting for my first flame and then when it came, it was a complete flop. I've seen an awful lot of poorly executed flames here and there and I think it's about time that people start spreading the word on proper flaming before one of these idiots hurts themselves. So here are the basic rules:

1) Please have a point. I can't stress this enough people. If you think something sucks, there has to be a reason. If you have no point then there's no point in reading your review.

2) Post some literary venture of your own before you attempt a flame. Think of it as your resume. We need to see some credentials damn it! You can't just walk in off the street! How do we know if you're qualified to be making this judgment? We can't let people go around writing these things all willy-nilly. (If nothing else, it's bad form to not give us something we can flame you back for.)

3) Check your spelling and grammar. There's nothing worse then making a bunch of grammatical errors right in the middle of telling someone else what's wrong with their writing. You lose all credibility. Yeah... You hear that? They're laughing at you!

4) Do it with style. You've heard the saying, I'm sure. 'If a thing is worth doing it's worth doing well.' If you're actually going to take the time to cut someone down, the least you could do is get their attention. A simple 'duh... it sucks George' is not gonna cut it. Seriously. If you intend to be mean, then at least try to come off like the villain, and not like one of his nameless henchmen. (think scathing)

5) Read summary warnings. Trust me. You don't want to go ripping on people for content that you were clearly warned about. That honestly only makes you look like an idiot. Wait, what's that? Oh, they're laughing at you again!

6) Throw in some amusing word play. When you step into the arena baby, you want to show off you're skills. A truly good flame entertains the crowd. That way people don't just plain hate you outright. You want them to almost look forward to more of your acerbic wit.

There they are. Please feel free to rip them off and post them where ever the hell you like. Don't hesitate to let me know if there's anything that you think should be added to the list as well. I may think of some more later myself. Invariably you think of more of them when you happen to see a poorly executed flame. It's a real problem and we need to get people educated on the issue.

Thank you for taking the time to review the facts.

I'd like to finish with a moment of silence for all the poor, lame little flames out there who never really had a chance...

These next two segments are also brought to you by MagnaVictoria, who seems pretty awesome to me :)

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

If you have ever wanted to kill someone (albeit a man in a purple and green dinosaur suit known as 'Barney the Dinosaur', George Bush, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or any other fool) then realized murder is illegal then copy and paste this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

There are three kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who don't know what the heck is happening.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you ever forgot your name, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone.

Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever burned something that ISN'T food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy and paste this into your profile.

I bet 93% of you people that read this won't repost

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! BEST reason!