Hey, thanks for checking out my profile!!! :D

I love reading, especially fanfiction!, reading anime, watching anime, martial arts, waterslides, storms, gales, snow, long lie-ins, Ritz crackers, chip sticks, sour sweets, (yum) and many other things that I can't be bothered to list right now. TEA!!!!!!!

Things I INTENSELY DISLIKE INCLUDE: bullies, perverts, liars, spiders, cheaters, annoyances, people who dither (just say what you want to say already!) and painful accidents, (of which I have experienced several).

Gender: Figure it out from the comments, you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right

Age: Have a guess

Height: Personally, I think I'm tall but my younger sibling (who looks down on me) doesn't agree

Eyes: brown, which will one day be the only eye colour

Hair: Lish, golden brown

Personality: aquaintances have said that I should put deadly sarcastic and insane but I disagree. Friends have just gotten used to it.

Mottos to live by:

Momento Mori - Remember You Will Die.

Dum Spiro Spero - While I Breathe, I Hope. (Even in the worst situations, people have always managed to somehow believe and pull through. Hope is fragile, yet unbreakable)

Mors Non Est Finis - Death is Not The End. (This one is pretty easy, I believe in life after death. There is more than just this life!!)

Fire And Ice - by Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire

Some say in ice,

From what I know of desire

I hold with those, who favour fire

But if the world had to perish twice

I think I know enough of hate

That for destruction, ice

Is also great –

And would suffice

Copy the fox onto your profile to help him in his quest for world domination!!!! We give you yaoi and cookies!!! * evil mad-scientist laughter*

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ヽ
じしf,)ノ

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies and yaoi/yuri)

(/)_(/)
(='.'=) BUNNY!
(")_(")

If you're weird and proud of it, post either of these cute rabbits on your profile page! ALL HAIL THOSE WHO ARE PROUD TO BE DIFFERENT!

()()
(0.0)
( _ )

Five guides to life:

1. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

2. Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.

3. The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.

4. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.

5. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more, than standing in a garage makes you a car.

If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are the greatest pairing, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Thymistacles , Tenshi Namikaze, Arashigan16, An Udar

If you actually wouldn't mind school if it was Naruto-related, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name here: Moonlight Music Mistress, Xanie,NejiTenfanforever, Death Note Lover, NarutoLuver35, FDS-Sasuke-fangirl, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Arashigan16, An Udar

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list:Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, TheDevilsAngel93, c. b. o. l., Vert9411, pinkcherryblossoms225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, crimsonchidori, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Arashigan16, An Udar

If you would absolutely love waking up in a different dimension full of magic, put this into your profile and add your name: An Udar,

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers have tried marijuana. If you are part of the 2 percent that hasn't, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I'm proud of this fact about myself)

97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a skyscraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit there eating popcorn screaming "DO A FLIP, YOU SPARKLY FAGGOT!" then copy and paste!

95% of the teenage girls will cry if Bella Swan was at the edge of a cliff ready to jump.

Put this on your profile if you will be from the 5% who will yell "Jump Bitch!!!JUMP!!!"

“I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I'll tell you why: because paper can't beat anybody; a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, ‘Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you!’"

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

QUOTES:

"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." - Elayne Boosler

"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." - Unknown (I LOVE THIS ONE!!)

"I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for minor infractions: No Smoking, Stay Off the Grass, Keep Out, and they seem to work fairly well. I think we should also have signs for major crimes: Murder Strictly Prohibited, NO Raping People, Thank You for Not Kidnapping Anyone. It's certainly worth a try. I'm convinced Watergate would never have happened if there had just been a sign in the Oval Office that said, Malfeasance of Office Is Strictly Against the Law, or Thank You for Not Undermining the Constitution." - George Carlin

"The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself." - Mark Helprin

"Don't play with that, you'll go blind." – Grace Augustine, Avatar.

"Mad cow disease, monkey pox, bird flu, mosquito viruses — did the animal kingdom have a meeting? 'Who here is tired of being food and clothing? ... Cows, get on it... MOO!' "- Christopher Titus

"The only Reason Edward can't read Bella's mind is that she doesn't have one." - Fanfic author: DeathNoteMaker

Will Turner: You cheated.
Jack Sparrow: Pirate.

Jack Sparrow: Savvy?

Jack Sparrow: Do us a favor... I know it's difficult for you... but please, stay here, and try not to do anything... stupid.

Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth! Turns to Gibbs Hide the rum.

Will Turner: What about Jack? I can't leave without him! sees Jack getting chased by cannibals Time to go

Jack Sparrow: Have you not met Will Turner? He's noble, heroic - terrific soprano.

Jack Sparrow: Where is it? Where is the thump-thump?

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: what's up with this glass? Excuse me! Excuse me! This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" - Terry Pratchett

"I won't run away anymore... I won't go back on my word... because that is my nindo, my ninja way!" Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze (Maelstrom Whirlpool Hurricane)

"Each day is a gift, not a given right. Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind and try to take the path less traveled by. That first step you take is the longest stride." - 'If Today Was Your Last Day' - Nickleback

"Love is powerful. True love, that's just life itself." - Unknown

"If we don't end war, war will end us." - H.G.Wells

"I do not see the world in black and white. To me, all is shades of grey" - Unknown

"If you were me, then I'd be you, and we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?" - Unknown

"Remember kids. A smart guy knows when it's time to RUN LIKE A LITTLE B#$%!" Desert Punk, Episode 1

"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." Bill Cosby

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" - Steven Wright

"I have nothing to declare except my genius." - Oscar Wilde

"Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much." - Unknown

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - WC Fields

"Borrow money from a pessimist - they do not expect it back" - Unknown

The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it" - George Orwell

"Having a light side and a dark side is what makes life interesting." - Tiky Mikk, D. Gray-man

"Dammit! There are so many idiots who'se asses I have to kick! I'll have to start carrying a list just to keep track of them all!" - Unknown

"Captain, I wish to report a mutiny. I can name fingers and point names!" - Captain Jack Sparrow, Stranger Tides

"You grow up the day you have a real laugh at yourself" - Ethel Barrymore

"Doctors bury their mistakes. Lawyers hang them. But journalists put theirs on the front page" - Unknown

"To betray, you must first belong. I never belonged" - Kim Phelby

"The enemies of Freedom do not argue; they shout and they shoot." - William Ralph Inge

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is therefore kinda neat." - Unknown

"It's easy to get lost in thought if it's not familiar territory to you." - Unknown

"Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." - Unknown

"Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what they're talking about." - Unknown

"Originality consists of trying to be like everybody else...and failing." - Unknown

"Coffee just isn't my cup of tea."

"All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral or fattening" - Alexander Woollcott

Harry: What are we going to do?
Hermione: Let’s ask Hagrid for help.
Harry: Don’t be ridiculous, Hermione. We need to confront the terrible horror ourselves and potentially end up hospitalized, like always.

"The only criticism which hurts is that which we deserve" - Unknown

"Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value" - Unknown

"How lucky I am! Whenever I make a mistake, people are sure to discover it!" - Unknown

"Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed." - Unknown

"The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." - Unknown

"Silence is golden, but ductape is silver." - Unknown

"Whoever said nothing was impossible never made an attempt to slam a revolving door." - Unknown

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

Not to care for philosophy is to be a true philospher.

The mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work unless it's open.

The best mind-altering drug is truth.

To be clever enough to get all the money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not so sure about the universe.

Life is a lesson; you'll learn it when you're through.

In order to be someone, you must first be yourself.

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Do not fear dear, for in the end we are never alone when we go.

"Silence is too loud"

"The colour white burns my eyes"

"What's that tree? Kill everyone?"

"People are like slinkies. Completely useless but still fun to push down stairs."

"I say we shoot Cupid and see how he likes it."

"If at first you don't succeed...cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie."

"Heaven won't take me, Hell's afraid I'll take over."

"Keeping your heart in a cage of ice is a bad idea...ice melts"

"Being normal is boring...be as weird and wacky as you can and die happy!"

(You know your obsessed with fanfiction when ...)

ARE YOU OBSSESSED WITH FANFICTION?? FIND OUT!

You get confused between the actual story and the fanfic about it

You spent more time writing/reading the fanfic than actually watching/reading/playing the thing your writing for

You make fanfiction for other people's fanfiction

You probably read a fanfic that was longer that the actual book

When you get excited that your friend also has an account

When you got disappointed when you read/watch/play something new and it wasn't on fanfiction

When your computer doesn't have internet and you need something to do and you say "lets read some fanfics" but then realize thats on the internet then get mad

When you write a fan fic in the middle of class

When you start giggling like crazy because of the fan fic your working on

Reviews on your fic can take the suckiest week of your life and turn them into the best flippen dipped week you ever lived through

When you feel all proud how your favorite category has one of the highest amounts of stories written

When you're someplace random and randomly come up with ideas for fanfic for no reason

When you daydream bout a fanfic and plan it out all in your head, even wondering what people will say about it and if there are any flaws before you have the first chapter written yet

When you write a fanfic and end up handing it in at school/college as an essay of some kind...

When you can't go a day without thinking of the next fanfic you'll read/write

When all you want to do is read/write the next fanfic

You feel sad when the fanfic you've been working on for months is complete cause it was so fun to write, but you feel excited to move on to the next project

You come up with new ideas faster than you can write them

When you have read this list

When you have read this list and thought of additions to it

Things To Ponder:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?

Why does an "X" stand for a kiss? (I actually know the answer for this. When people used to sign documents in Medeival times, the majority could read or write, so they would sign with an X and then kiss it to show that they were sincere. And it still continues today on cards...huh)

Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?

Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

If you absolutely cannot stand the mere thought of Naruto and Sakura as a couple, copy and paste this into your profile.

TEN REASONS TO HATE NARUxSAKU

1. Naruto and Sakura are both to loud and don't balance each other out.

2. Most people only like them because they look good together. (The so do not in my opinion)

3. If Sasuke came back to the village Sakura would go directly to him and drop Naruto.

4. Sakura always hit Naruto and never gave him the time of day.

never comforted him like Hinata did, or give him courage...Like Hinata. (GO HINATA)

6. Sakura is to violent.

7.THEY DO NOT BALANCE EACH OTHER OUT AT ALL

8. Sakura is still in love with Sasuke because she came crying to Naruto to bring him back because she was a little weak pink genin.

9. Sakura only shows admiration for Naruto because he grew taller and became more hot. If he didn't Sakura still wouldn't like him because she only goes after the good looking guys. (Bitch)

10. NARUTO AND SAKURA DO NOT BELONG TOGETHER. SAKURA IS VIOLENT AND WILL ALWAYS HIT NARUTO.

If you agree post it on your profile

If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56, Haru Kitsune, DragonMaster4381, Demon Wraith, Leaf Ranger, Zentary, Arashigan16, An Udar

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when you're crazy. Crazy is when you start talking nonsense every day during gym. Crazy is when you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when you get up in the middle of the night and rearrange your entire room out of boredom. Crazy is when you can talk to yourself for twenty minutes about nothing at all. Crazy is when you tell everyone you are a figment of their imagination, then your little brother believes you for a whole week, then he figures it out that you're not (or are you?...) and then you change your mind and tell everyone you're Jimmy Page...and your little brother believes you. Crazy is when you argue with yourself and lose. Crazy is when you start crying and laughing at the same time for no apparent reason. Crazy is when you try to stamp your foot on the ground dramatically and end up stubbing your toe. Crazy is if you laugh at Obi-Wan Kenobi's accent!! Crazy is when you feel someone pull your hair and turn and yell at your best friend only for her to point out to you that you did it to yourself.(Yes...I really did this)Crazy is when you freak out when someone mentions Star Wars!! Crazy is when you talk to action figures of your favorite tv characters and mourn them if they break!!! Crazy is when you imitate Master Yoda using slices of cut bread for your ears!!! Crazy is when you tell everyone that you are Padmé Amidala's twin sister, and your little brother believes you!!! Crazy is standing at the edge of your driveway in a full-fledged electrical storm in short shorts and a tee shirt, eating a Popsicle (despite the flood and tornado warnings)! crazy is when you walk into a glass door. Crazy is when you try to climb up a water-slide fully clothed. Crazy is when you sit in the corner, rocking and muttering to yourself whilst glaring at people walking past! Crazy is when you randomally burst out into maniacal, evil mad scientist laughter in the different situations, then continue as if nothing has happened. Crazy is when you fall through a ceiling and then giggle drunkenly when you're high on morphine. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Human Body Facts...

The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.

A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb. (It's the ONLY drawback to being Irish)

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.

Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate. .. . .they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate!

Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

The average woman is five inches shorter than the average man.

Scroll down to the bottom please ...

Be HONEST!! Still looking at your thumb, aren't you ?

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW:

1. Money isn't made out of paper; it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

3. The dot over the letter 'I' is called a 'tittle'.

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6. 40 of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.

10. WarrenBeatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small-sized dog

12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

13. Most lipstick contains whale sperm (eeww).

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.

16. Upper- and lower-case letters are named 'upper'! and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the Upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.

17. Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time, hence, multi-tasking was invented.

18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before!

21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original 'Halloween' was a Captain Kirk's mask painted white.

25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have 1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar (good to know.)

26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)

27. The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples.

30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it. I NEED TO REMEMBER THIS.

34. George Carlin said it best about Martha Stewart. 'Boy, I feel a lot safer now that she's behind bars. O. J. Simpson and Kobe Bryant are still walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the ONE woman in America willing to cook, clean, and work in the yard, and they haul her off to jail.'

Log Worshipper

If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile

Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still reccommended.

Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is uneligible from using the log for a period of two months.

Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:

For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.

For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five
saplings.

For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten
saplings.

For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.

For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
twenty-five saplings.

If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.

'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.
and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'
-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4

'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3

'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.
you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'
-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16

'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82

'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9

'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70

Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.

"It's the honest people you have to watch out for, because you can never tell when they're about to do something incredibly...stupid." - Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Fourty- Nine laws of Anime: (Oddly enough, there are only forty-six...) Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6. Law of Temporal Variability Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality 'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11. Law of Inherent Combustability Everything explodes. Everything. First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first. Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13. Law of Energetic Emission There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size. First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15. Law of Inexhaustability No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage. Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape. Third Corollary- Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19. Law of Demonic Consistency Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability Tactical geniuses aren't...

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'. First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.) Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26. Law of Feline Mutation Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: a) be female b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29. Law of Melee Luminescence Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32. Law of Follicular Permanence Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34. Law of Probable Attire Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines. --Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). --Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him. First Corollary(Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow. Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are: a) The Hero/Leader b) His girlfriend c) His Best Friend/Rival d) A Hulking Brute e) A Dwarf/Kid Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include: --Extreme Coolness --Amazing intelligence --Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice. First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39. Law of Inverse Attraction Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get. First CorollaryUnfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

41. Law of Xylolaceration Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia There is no Law #43.

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We fucked up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shittttt!!

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to
administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their
victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and
was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
majority and do nothing.

Demonstration of faith:

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Demonstration of Faith believe in God..

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what... and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. I bet 93 percent of you people that read this won't repost

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and and make freinds on here we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list.

SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), ChiyoChiyamamoto (USA), Crazy-Monkey13 (USA), Hullop (USA), Mayonaka Naze (Dominican Republic), RUHLSAR000 (USA) PotterAnimeJackson(Canada), Mermaid-Luchia(Australia), Jostanos (USA), TheBlackSeaReaper (Bermuda), sakurademonalchemist (USA), lokinorsedeity (USA), An Udar (UK),