Once upon a time, there was a legendary subdivision of the bloodiest mafia family in the world. The subdivision was known for inflicting death and destruction wherever they went and nothing could stop them.

Once upon a time, (much closer to present time), there was a legendary person from a group known as the greatest seven. This person was known for inflicting death and destruction (though he prefers to call it chaos) wherever he went and nothing could stop him.

What happens when a legendary subdivision meets a legendary person?

(The subdivision bends and folds. The Varia consisted of well-trained people who individually agree as a group to step out of Reborn's way. They may be trained to bring about death and destruction but they weren't about to bring in their own death and destruction.)

...

Within hours of Reborn arriving at the Varia, he and the kids essentially took over. Reborn did find it a bit strange about how easy the takeover was but brushed it off. It probably had to do with the fact that Federico kept smiling at them while they stared shakingly back, Iris walking around the mansion like she owned the place with a flick of her I'm-Xanxus'-fiancée-leave-me-be-or-else card and her entourage strutting along behind her, Lancia accidentally knocking people out with his wrecking ball as he was trying to avoid the walls, and Genkishi taking up all of Tyr's time and attention.

(Reborn might have bothered to realize that the Varia were caving because of him, but all of his own time and attention was spent on his new pet student. His spoiled little brat of a student. Oh, Reborn is going to have a lot of fun with this one.

(Puledro doesn't know whether to cry for his son or pray. He settled for curling up in his son's rarely used (probably now unused) bed as Romario tried to coax him out to do paperwork.))

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(In a world where Reborn was curious enough to bother psychoanalyzing the Varia, he would have realized that they are complying because of his legendary fame.

Waste of time really. Reborn doesn't need a bunch of rookies to tell him how great he is.)

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Contrary to Xanxus' fears, Lal didn't mind that her all-but-adopted son was now part-timing at the Varia.

No, if anything Lal was absolutely pleased.

Pleased at the fact that her protege had a safe environment to train away from the influence of Iemitsu.

Pleased to the point that she went and got Lancia another wrecking ball, this time made of titanium. (Because if there's anything she's ever learnt from her boss, it was how to spoil children.)

It was a very lovely wrecking ball, one that Lancia immediately adored and decided to leave back at home with his other prized wrecking balls. Lancia had a collection of different wrecking balls of different metals, designs, and secrets showcased in his room. (Which Xanxus has stubbornly convinced himself that it didn't exist.)

The others though, the only a fraction of Lancia's collection really, were moved from the CEDEF to Lancia's new room (carefully chosen by Lal) in the Varia.

(Federico found great glee in filming the well-trained mafioso gape as they watched Lal's little boy easily unloaded the two dozen wrecking balls from the truck into his new room.

Two at a time.

One on each arm.

The only reason why he couldn't carry more was that his arms weren't long enough.)

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Bianchi was merrily taking her favourite clothes out of her closet when she noticed her brother peeking into her room.

"Oh, Hayato! Do you want a cookie?"

"NO! No no nonono!" Hayato cried as he ran out of sight.

Bianchi smiled adoringly as she watched him retreat and then went back to her packing.

"Are…" The girl turned back around. Hayato was back and peering at her half behind the wall again. "Are you leaving?"

"No one told you?" Bianchi folded up her shirt. "I'm going to be staying at the CEDEF to continue our 'adventure' as Iris keeps calling it. It's closer to the Varia than here." She glanced over at him, noticing his downcast expression. "Do you want to come too?"

Hayato's eyes widened. "Can I?"

"I don't see why not. Ken and Chikusa are going to be there too, you could finally meet them. Oh, have I told you about the new plan we made about lacing the rim of the cup? Chikusa came up with that. He noticed that people tend to dismiss marks on the outside of the cup because they would think that the poison is inside. It's even better if the cup is patterned. Federico and Iris are competing on making the perfect powder. Ken, Chikusa and I are going to try the easier method of smearing it with liquid instead and wait for it to dry instead while those two nerd-it out against each other. We are planning on lacing Dino's cup and seeing what happens. Reborn has already approved of our request of using his student as a test subject. Reborn is so cool. He's so handsome and smart and strong… I think I'm starting to develop a crush on him. Iris will probably disapprove… maybe I should ask Tonno about it."

"Tonno?" Hayato asked next to her on the bed, having sat down during her rambling.

"Tsuna. We have to call him Tonno outside the CEDEF now for his safety apparently. Anyways Tonno's Mama is teaching him fortune telling. He is really good at it. Yesterday he read tea leaves in water and predicted that Federico's camera would malfunction while he tries to film Xanxus trying to shoot Dino for annoying him but missing because Dendro accidentally nudged his chair while cleaning and almost burnt Levi and Lussuria instead. Poor Federico. His camera had to restart during the critical moment."

"Are Levi and Lussuria alright?" Hayato asked, confused about how flippant Bianchi sounded in regards to their health.

"Levi threw himself at Xanxus' feet to apologize for not taking his boss' hit. Lussuria grabbed Xanxus' arm and asked him how he would make up for damaging his beautiful body." Bianchi frowned. "Iris is so tolerant to people flirting with her fiance. I would have-"

"Hayato! There you are. Why aren't you practising?" Mother stopped at the door. "Bianchi dear, I do hope you have fun. Come home whenever you can."

"Mother…" Hayato stood up. "May I go with Sister?"

"You may not. You have a recital tomorrow. You need to practice."

Hayato dejectedly nodded. "Yes, mother."

"Return to practice." Mother smiled at Bianchi. "Call us when you have time, sweetheart. Someone will stop by to help you move?"

Bianchi nodded.

"Very good. Inform me when you leave so we could see you out. Hayato, return to practice." With that, mother turned around and clicked her heels away.

Hayato took a step towards the door and hesitated. He glanced back at his sister, who was once again concentrated on packing. Then he turned around and walked out of the room.

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"Why am I the boss?" Dino shrieked, throwing his arms around wildly like a 3-year-old throwing a tantrum to get out of taking a bath. "I don't want to be the boss. I won't have time to play with Tonno-chan!"

The rest of the Varia, both the old and the new, ignored Dino's screams. It was very easy to filter them out after hearing him yell about the same thing over and over again.

That didn't make it any less annoying though.

And Reborn gets annoyed very easily.

"It's something only you can do," Federico told him after receiving a meaningful glare by their resident Arcobaleno. (Federico may be playfully sadistic but he wasn't stupid. Disobeying Reborn was a very stupid thing to do, no matter who you were.) "Even Xanxus said so."

Dino stopped making noise. He turned to Federico. "He did?"

Federico nodded, smiling benignly. "Xanxus also wanted to be the boss of the Varia but he couldn't." He lied. (One of the most harmless lies he has ever told actually.) "He's a bit jealous of you."

Dino's eyes were the size of saucers. "Xanxus… jealous… of me?"

"It's true. He kept staring at you when I told him." Federico smoothly connected his camera to the projector and pressed play.

The clip was a full two minutes and consisted of Xanxus mutely staring at Dino on the day they 'defeated' Tyr. Dino would have thought it was just a still image of Xanxus with the way none of his facial muscles even twitched. That illusion was dispelled by adorable angelic Tonno-chan, who kept turning his head to look up at Xanxus with increasing confusion and concern.

"See, jealous."

(What Dino doesn't know was that Xanxus' reaction was one born from the anticipation of a train wreck that was out of his control rather than admiration. Tsuna's concern was correctly interpreted universally.)

Dino replayed the clip 5 times in a row. Then he asked for a copy, which Federico kindly provided as a good Samaritan.

"Reborn." The naïve boy held his USB to his chest like it was worth his entire life savings. It probably was. "Up my training."

(The rest of the Varia, both the old and the new, continued to ignore Dino's screams.

This time, though, Reborn wasn't annoyed by them.

After all, one of his favourite sounds were people begging him mercy.)

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"Bubble, bubble, and bubble; Fire burn and… bubble!" Tsuna exclaimed as he tossed a feather into the black cast iron cauldron full of a gassy liquid. He straightened on his stool and stared up at his mama expectantly.

"You need to stir it." Mammon reminded him.

"Oh!" Tsuna grinned at Enma as he handed him a large wooden spoon. Enma smiled back then quickly stepped away. The liquid made a strange popping sound as it was stirred.

Bermuda couldn't take it anymore. "It seems that the three of you are attempting to conjure a force or an entity."

"Shhh." Enma hissed with a finger brought in front of his lips. "Tsuna needs to con… con… pay a lot of attention."

"Concentrate." Bermuda absentmindedly reminded him. "My contract does not stipulate defending my charge from unknown forces that have been voluntarily brought in."

"Muu, relax." Mammon sighed. "We are just fortune telling."

"Seeing does not entail the creation of unfamiliar substances," Bermuda argued. "Are you certain that nothing will be summoned?"

"Yes." Mammon deadpanned, annoyed. "You have a literal army of supernatural zombies. Why are you so scared?"

"This is not fear. This is being cautious."

"Mama!" Tsuna tugged on Mammon's cloak, effectively halting the argument. "Someone is in trouble."

Bermuda stared at the meaningless smoke that had both Tsuna and Mammon entranced. "...What?" He asked eloquently.

Tsuna pointed to the smoke. "Here! He's in trouble. In… a place with a lot of trees!"

Mammon nodded, seeing whatever it is Tsuna saw. "A forest. This is on Gesso property."

"We need to help him." Tsuna insisted.

"Everyone is at the Varia." Enma reminded him quietly.

"Oh. But…" Tsuna stared transfixed to the cloud of smoke. "Mama…"

Mammon frowned. "Dada, go save him."

"I refuse." Bermuda immediately replied. He will not partake on a mission dictated by a blob of smoke. Who knows where that might have come from and what curse it might trigger.

"Dada, please," Tsuna begged.

Mammon patted the boy's shoulder. "Unfortunately, your dada is too afraid to go save him." He pointedly did not look at Bermuda. "Let's see if your papa's busy."

"It's caution!" Bermuda corrected, lifting his chin up. "Gesso forest correct? I will handle the situation. Cautiously." Without another word, he stepped into his dark portal.

(Mammon burst into snickers the moment Bermuda teleported away. Good to know that the head of the feared Vendice is so easy to be played.

(Un)fortunately.)

…

Whatever Bermuda expected when he stepped out of the portal into the Gesso woods was definitely not what he got.

(Even in his centuries of dealing with the strangest happenings with the Vendice did not properly prepare him.)

There was a red-haired child struggling and screaming in some sort of spider-like web, where the web has to be produced by a spider the size of a tree.

This was quite obviously the trouble Tsuna and Mammon saw.

Bermuda cautiously used his chains and cut the boy out of his cage. The boy shrunk into himself, clenching his stomach.

"W-who are you? Are you with that crazy albino guy? He said he wanted to put me inside a cocoon!" The boy frantically gestured the white oval thing a few trees over that Bermuda had been keeping half an eye on in case it turned out to be alive.

"I do not associate myself with crazy." Bermuda lied. "I will take you home. Stay away from crazy albinos in the future."

"He came in from my bedroom window." The boy whimpered, arms practically glued to his stomach.

"The obvious solution is to fortify your window," Bermuda replied. He slowly wrapped the boy in his chain. "Now tell me where you need to go."

(The first thing Irie Shoichi did when he got home and got over his stomach cramps was set aside his music scores and study engineering and design. By the time he was satisfied, his window was the most impenetrable structure in the entire world.)

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(In a world where Tsuna ended up in Gesso forest to rescue Shoichi, he would have encountered said crazy albino and everyone would have ended up inside the cocoon partying Gesso style.)

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Meanwhile at the CEDEF

Tsuna smiled as the smoke changed its shape. "Dada will save him."

"That's good." Enma smiled.

"Yup!" Tsuna turned and smiled back at his friend.

(Un)fortunately, the smiling session between the two was rudely interrupted by a man opening the door.

The man took a careful look around the room, noting the eerie glow of the candlelight behind the smoke, the bubbling cauldron in the middle of the room, and the unamused mist arcobaleno floating above said cauldron. (Because Mammon has heard Iemitsu's paranoid demands to keep his son invisible even in the comfort of his own building. The fact that this random CEDEF rookie was able to stumble into this room proved how justified his paranoia was.)

"What." Mammon frowned, trying to place the man's name. Moretti or something.

Tsuna, young innocent Tsuna, walked up to him. "Hi, Mister." He tugged on the stranger's shirt, not knowing that he was invisible and mute to those to didn't know him.

Moretti or something looked down, saw his clothes being pulled by an unknown force, and promptly had a heart attack on the spot.

"HIEEE!" Tsuna shrieked. He tried to catch the collapsed man but Enma hugged him back tightly.

Mammon calmly flew over and checked his vitals. He remained silent when he found nothing.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Tsuna babbled on. He burst into flames in his hysterics as Enma tried his best to console him.

Suddenly, Moretti or something sat up.

Both Tsuna and Enma screamed.

Moretti or something heard the screams, saw an invisible human covered in flames in front and promptly had another heart attack.

"..." Mammon once again reached down to check his vitals. Nothing. "I'm going to call Xanxus."

The man shot up at the sound of his superior's name. "Please don't! I didn't mean to enter this room. I didn't know it was off limits."

Mammon reached over and confirmed that Moretti or something had a pulse. "Are you playing possum?"

Moretti or something looked very confused.

Floating back to his charge, Mammon took out his phone and dialled. "I change my mind. It will be more amusing to see Iemitsu deal with this."

At the sound of his former boss' name, Moretti or something once again had a heart attack.

"Papa!" Tsuna cried when the call connected. He began babbling incoherently about bodies and sleep and falling.

"Shh, it's alright son. Papa will fix this." Iemitsu reassured his son calmly, already thinking of ways to dispose of the body (meat grinder? incinerator?). It was half a miracle that he could guess what was going on just by listening to his son's cries.

"The man will be alright." Mammon finally determined to his charge.

Tsuna wiped away his tears. "But he keeps…"

Mammon nodded. "It's his special ability." Probably. Tsuna doesn't need to know about his uncertainty though.

Unfortunately, the kid detected it anyways. "Mama?"

Fortunately, the kid's best friend was able to distract him. "I… wish I had a special ability too." Enma clung onto Tsuna's arm tighter. "I can't do anything…"

Mammon easily herded the kids deeper into the room as Tsuna tried his best to insist that Enma was perfect just the way he was and floated back to the body of Moretti or something. He checked for vitals again and got nothing, exactly as he expected.

Iemitsu slowly creaked the door open, pickaxe menacingly resting on his shoulder. Seeing Tsuna and Enma in an intense conversation with one another, he turned to Mammon. "Is he dead?"

"Sometimes."

Iemitsu nudged his pickaxe on Moretti or something's chest. The man's eyes flew open and then his heart immediately stopped once again once he saw a calmly murderous (former) CEDEF boss. Iemitsu nudged the pickaxe harder and stared at the body below him with a stone cold gaze. "Choose. Dead or alive?"

"Alive! Alive! Alive!"

Moretti or something gained the skill Adio!

AN: Wow, that took forever. I was stuck on the Shoichi and Moretti part for a very long time. (Mostly because of procrastination orz). Originally, Tsuna was supposed to go with his Dada to rescue Shoichi, but I realized that there was no way that could happen without Iemitsu freaking out. So, sorry Shoichi. Maybe next time. (Shoichi would probably not appear in the story again since he is too busy fortifying his window. Funny how it turned out though, he was originally planned to be a major character. In contrast, nothing has changed in regards to Byakuran. He might be the only character to follow my earliest drafts.)

So a reviewer, Squishy4953 (thanks for the reviews btw), asked if the arcobaleno are growing up. Idk sure? They aren't gonna grow into adults overnight so they are still babies (or toddlers) right now. I guess its best to assume that Mammon would stay roughly the same size as Tsuna and grows up naturally.

Thank you for reading~

Next time: Enma and Tsuna "fight".