i'm still alive~7/13/15

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity. . . .
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you're woken up, shout, "AMEN! Or PAYING ATTENTION!"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone's gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write, "For marijuana."
7. Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy." Or, "in the garden with a meat cleaver."
8. Skip down the hall instead of walking and see how many looks you get.
9. Order diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is to go.
11. Sing along at the opera.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work are and play tropical sounds all day.
13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
14. When money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
15. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THEY'RE LOOSE!"
16. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're gonna have to let one of you go."