oh no sectumsempra lol percys gone bro

nemesis is a little bi-

wow this bitch voldemort really be speakin in third person, what a loser bruh

Just yikes, this whole chapter just yikes. Making septumsempra work in a way it explicitly doesn't just so Percy gets hurt which doesn't really matter because they're all happy and willing to cast aguamenti and now all's fine.

Gave it a few more chapters after the bonkers decision with Nemesis a couple chapters back but it's just been a hot mess since then.

Percy gave up the goods way too easily here, especially considering how hard it was hammered into them *not to let anyone know*, then he acts friendly with the people that dragged him out of bed for a surprise interrogation.

Septumsempra is absolutely *not* an auror approved spell. It's dark magic that doesn't heal properly unless you know the proper counter, both created by Severus Snape. Same with muffliato. It's a lazy, cheap way of going 'well, they need these spells for the plot to happen, so they have them'.

The bit with Nemesis is almost story breakingly bad. After the Titan and Giant wars she's more respected than she's ever been, and that's solely due to the actions of Percy Jackson. Now she's all of a sudden showing up out of nowhere and blabbing the secret to Voldemort just because he wants revenge? A proposition that could see her cast into tartarus for blabbing or straight up roflstomped by the big three for *daring* to put a target on their kids' backs?

Really poorly done, all said.

Nice prophecy, much better than I could have done

Nemesis you sneaky-

I love you

Nemesis you little-

Honestly, I think you downplayed Percy’s strength. He could’ve easily took a few kids down. He’s been through warS and Tartarus while the trio’s never even saw death yet. Percy wouldn’t have folded so easily and would knock them out before going to Dumbledore. Sure, he is forgiving, that’s just who he is. But after Tartarus? PTSD could lead to some changes like paranoia or anger.

AHHHHHHHHH THIS IS AMAZING
UR SO GOOOOOOD
Duuwneudye seriously gj dude :)

It fine

Funny thing about me: I like getting flame reviews, but I HATE giving them. So please do not take offense, I assure you I don't mean any. Now, on to the review. Your writing is good, but it shows spots where your mind went faster than your typing, and believe me, I know the signs of that, I do it a lot, you could probably fix those by eaiting a couple days after you write it before you proofread. Other than that, great story!

im really Enjoying this fanfic, it has some realy cool twists and a verry diffrent plot then most