Knowledge is power, power corrupts, study hard = Be Evil

11 Ways For A Harry Potter Fan To Annoy A Twilight Fan

Steal their Twilight books and replace them with Harry Potter books in Twilight book covers

Tell them that Edward is a hand-me-down because Twilight only got him after Harry Potter was finished with him

List other hand-me-downs from the book, like the last names Black and Clearwater

State that Edward would be hotter with a lightning scar on his forehead

Call Edward, Sanguini

Explain how a wizard can posess all the gifts (mind reading, future reading, etc.) that a vampire can only have one of

Whenever they mention Jacob Black, innocently ask them if they mean Stubby Boardman

Say that Bella and Filch would make a good couple

Flinch when they say "Edward" and ask them to say "You-Know-Who" instead

When they describe Twilight vampires, correct them and describe what "real" vampires, out of Harry Potter, look like

Explain how the Quileutes are really Animagi and ask if they're registered at the Ministry

The Hogwarts Rules

No matter how good a fake Australian accent is, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care Of Magical Creatures class (even if I am Australian)

I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore"

If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

Seamus Finnigan is not "After me Lucky Charms"

I'm not allowed to steal Professor Flitwick's wand, hold it over his head and laugh as he tries to jump for it

Asking "How do you keep a Griffyndor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time

I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey

Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

I'm not allowed to call a hippogriff "Horseybird"

Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums"

Neither does he enjoy being called "Sev", "Snapey-poo", or "Debbie"

Dumbledore is not Santa, and I shouldn't sit on his knee and demand presents, especially in June

I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

I will not call either Professor Lupin or the Grim "Nice doggy"

There is no Bring A Muggle To School day

I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

I will not sing "Defying Gravity" during Quidditch practice

There is no connection between Voldemort and Hitler

I'm not allowed to declare Official Hug A Slytherin day

I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT shirt to school

When in the presence of the Dark Lord, I will call him the Dark Lord, not "Snake-Face, the Dark Lord Happy Pants"

I'm not allowed to ask the Malfoys if blondes have more fun

I'm not to hold my wand over my head before casting a spell and yell I... GOT ... THE... POWER!

When I see the Dark Mark, I shouldn't yell, "To the Batmobile, Robin!"

If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, I must assume I'm not allowed to do it

I will not use first years as Christmas decorations

It is generally accepted that cats and dragons can't interbreed and I shouldn't attempt that, no matter how wicked the results are

Teaching the first years to chorus "Draco Malfoy, The Amazing Bouncing Ferret" isn't nice

I will not paint house elves blue and call them smurfs

No matter how much I make myself laugh, I'm not funny