Title: The Enterprise's OTP (a.k.a ten people who were supposedly involved with Kirk and one who really was).

Author:Danyliz.

Universe/Series: Reboot.

Rating: PG-15.

Summary: Spock knew that working with humans would be challenging. However he wasn't ready for the things the crew talked about the Captain.

Beta: Anbessette.

Notes: This was written for the comment challenge on ff net. I'm sorry Lilly, I'm not very good at light humor, but you can't say I didn't try. I hope you all enjoy it. Thanks to the wonderful Anbessette who is my amazing beta and owner of my soul.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the fantasies in mi head.

The Enterprise's OTP (a.k.a ten people who were supposedly involved with Kirk and one who really was).

As it was expected, Spock knew that being part of the Enterprise crew would mean acknowledging his human nature beyond what he had experienced growing up with his mother. After all, she was only one human among Vulcans and on this vessel he was one Vulcan among eighty point five percent humans. He had to adapt, he chose this instead of going back to the Vulcan Colony.

The procrastination and the tendency to exaggerate were tolerable; the vague references to events and the constant sentimentality were disconcerting, but he could still endure it. It was the comments that were labelled as 'gossip' that Spock found unnerving and illogical.

According to Nyota, these comments were mostly lies (and there was again the tendency to summarize things without stating facts. He could hardly know what 'mostly' meant in this context). Spock didn't understand why humans kept saying them if they were lies. He resigned himself to accepting this as another unreasonable human trait, and while he didn't actively participate he still listened, given that seventy point six percent of the time the crewmembers involved chose to partake in this particular activity in the mess hall. He wasn't leaving the place just because humans needed to make untrue statements about their fellow crewmembers; perhaps they weren't aware of Spock's sharper hearing, but that hardly was his concern. If they wanted privacy, there were several places where they could relocate their conversation, out of hearing range. As they didn't, Spock assumed they didn't care if he was there.

Lately, Spock was disconcerted to realize that a name kept being repeated in the crew's discussions: Captain Kirk. Spock was at loss as to whether he should interfere and forbid the crew to discuss the Captain, but the man in question seemed unconcerned and told Spock to 'let the minions have fun'. This was unsettling as well, although Spock should have been used to this kind of behavior by now, as Admiral Pike wasn't that different. When he started serving on the Enterprise, Spock found that serving under a human captain caused him to challenge many of his beliefs. And now serving under Captain's Kirk authority it was truly a challenge. The man was infuriating, always opposed regulations and made everything more difficult than it had to be. Yet Spock was grateful for this opportunity, he was confident that he had made the right choice. The Captain was an honorable man and his human weaknesses made him stronger, even when that made no sense to Spock. Captain Kirk was a great leader; still, it didn't stop the crewmembers from talking about his personal life in a demeaning manner.

The Captain's sexual habits were the current topic, and had been for the last week. Apparently the Captain 'slept with anything that moved', which Spock knew was an overstatement. Yet it intrigued Spock that the Captain's sexual behavior was so appealing to the crewmembers that they invested their meals in sharing their comments about it. Spock knew he should expect to hear about the Captain's conquests, but still didn't quite anticipate the comments he heard.

1. Ensign Chekov.

It was louder than usual in the mess hall; it seemed that their first night on shore leave gave the crewmembers energy to voice their opinions about it. Spock sat down, and Nyota followed him like she did on the occasions when she had the same schedule as he did.

"Oh, please, he's barely legal!" Spock heard one of the yeomen saying two tables behind him.

"Well, that face is irresistible, Rand," laughed another yeoman.

"Kirk should know better than that. Poor Chekov, he was drunk. He totally took advantage!"

"And Sulu was so nice to him; I think he has a little crush on Pavel. Too bad he worships Kirk."

"If you compare Sulu to the Captain, come on, Pavel's choice was clear."

"Oh, don't be like that, Christine. Sulu is a fine catch."

"I'm not saying he isn't, I'm saying that in comparison, well… Kirk has a reputation to maintain."

Spock concurred with this. If the Captain and Lieutenant Sulu were competing in courting the Ensign, of course Captain Kirk would have the advantage. He had a higher rank and was more aesthetically pleasing; although Mister Sulu had an exotic appearance, Captain Kirk was more enticing even by his Vulcan standards. However, he was sure that the Captain wasn't interested in the Ensign, as he had said so two days ago when Spock approached the subject during a game of chess. He was curious about what he had heard regarding the Captain, and he asked him about his partner preferences. Kirk had made it clear that he wouldn't pursue any crewmembers given his rank, and he wasn't tempted to 'screw up his command over a fine pair of legs'. Spock couldn't help but feel a small pang of satisfaction at this. Captain Kirk took his command very seriously. That didn't mean that Spock couldn't hypothesize about the information he heard, as illogical as it was. It kept his mind working.

"He took Pavel directly to his room," continued Yeoman Rand.

"If he wanted to sleep with him, what would you expect?" bit out Yeoman Miller.

"Let's hope that the Captain doesn't break Pavel's heart."

"If I was Pavel, I would be glad that my first time was with the Captain. Can you imagine that?"

"You're terrible, Ally!" Nurse Chapel laughed. "And how do you know Pavel was a virgin?"

"Oh, please, look at him, how could he not be?"

Spock would have sighed if he was human. Even more than sexual behavior, guessing who of the four hundred and seventy nine humans aboard remained without sexual contact of any kind was a frequent topic.

Nyota seemed to hear this as well, since she did sigh.

"Kirk fuelled the gossip patrol," she complained.

Spock was aware that this was an analogy. He didn't know what to answer, so he decided to nod his acknowledgement of the comment.

"He could be at least discreet. He carried Chekov's drunken ass all through the hallways. Everyone saw them."

"Perhaps the Captain was helping the Ensign, given his inebriated state."

"Yeah, right. If Kirk helped someone without expecting to get them into his bed, it would be a miracle."

Nyota didn't like the Captain. She claimed that she respected him as her superior and even conceded his qualities and abilities in the field of command. Yet as a person, she found him 'obnoxious'. Spock had many arguments with Nyota when they were still involved in a romantic liaison because of her apparent need to insult the Captain every time she had the chance. It was ironic that now they had decided to part ways and remain friends, she insulted him less and even seemed fond of the Captain at times. Although she maintained that she didn't like him.

After finishing his meal, Spock walked away from the mess hall where the betting pool about Mister Chekov's virginity was reaching a dead end. As he strolled to the turbolift, he saw Captain Kirk and Lieutenant Sulu blocking the door. Without knowing if he should just go back, Spock stood there deciding what to do next. The Captain made the decision for him.

"Spock!" he said cheerfully. "Hold on a minute, okay?"

Since he knew that 'hold on a minute' meant 'just stand there and wait', he did so. The Captain looked back at Lieutenant Sulu.

"It was your damn fault, you left him there," the Captain said reproachfully.

"It was only for a minute, and in my defense, I didn't think he could get that drunk with tequila. He kept babbling about how tequila was invented in Russia, I thought he'd drank it before." Mister Sulu seemed upset.

"Well, the Andorian was getting rather handsy with him; I didn't expect the entire crew to see us as I was trying to get him safely to bed."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, it was my responsibility. Thanks."

"This will blow over; Chekov doesn't have anything to be ashamed of."

"I hope you didn't mean that literally," Sulu frowned, although he had a small smile.

"He's still as pure as he was before last night. That's not on my account," the Captain smirked.

"Good thing he's not your type, otherwise I'm sure you would have made a move on him," Sulu said.

"I prefer dark hair and taller. Besides, I don't like jailbait." The Captain patted Mister Sulu's arm as he walked past him. "See you around."

"Yeah, good day, Captain. Commander." Mister Sulu nodded politely as Spock did the same.

Captain Kirk headed to Spock, smiling widely.

"Commander, are you ready to enjoy the shore leave?"

"As I said before, Captain, I do not need to 'relax' as you put it. I meditate to center myself, which is a healthier method of releasing stress than drinking alcoholic beverages, I might add."

"Oh, come on Spock, call me Jim. How many times are you going to make me say it before you actually do it?"

"It would be disrespectful."

"I'm asking you, and I'm about to make it an order."

Spock lifted an eyebrow while the Captain smiled.

"Okay, fine, I can't make it an order, but you should call me by my name, I feel weird when you call me Captain even while we play chess."

Spock was about to retort that calling the Captain by his proper title was always appropriate behavior when they saw two yeomen walking in their direction. As soon as they saw them, they laughed quietly.

"If you were helping Ensign Chekov to his quarters, would it not be easier to clarify this with the crew to avoid false accusations?" Spock asked, knowing why the yeomen were laughing.

"People believe what they want to believe, Spock. It's better to just let them instead of waste my time denying everything when they won't believe me anyway. Besides, I'm used to it."

The way the Captain said this made Spock feel uncomfortable; however, he had the same opinion. It didn't seem detrimental to the performance of the crew and they respected and cared about the Captain. Perhaps Doctor McCoy was right and the crew just 'enjoyed drama too much'.

2. Doctor McCoy.

Spock knew the Captain shared a close friendship with Doctor McCoy. Frankly, he was surprised that the crew hadn't said anything about this in their rumors about the Captain.

"He spent the entire night in Doctor McCoy's room."

"Rand said he didn't go even once to his own quarters."

"Didn't McCoy have a shift?"

"He switched with M'Benga. He was really invested in being free this particular day."

"Maybe it's their anniversary."

Spock recalled the change in the schedules the Captain had made two weeks back, which meant he was free today and Spock had shift. It was strange, the Captain always explained the modifications in schedules, but in this case he only said he needed the day.

"And he is still in McCoy's room. Morning after, let's hope they make it."

Worried about the Captain (which it was logical, he was in charge of protecting him), Spock headed to the Doctor's room to guarantee the Captain's wellbeing. After all he had a propensity for trouble, and he spent more time in Sickbay than Spock would like.

Doctor McCoy opened his door in an alarming state. He looked pale and his eyes were red.

"What?" When Doctor McCoy saw Spock, he glared. "What do you want? I'm busy."

Spock could ask exactly in what he was busy with that left him looking that way, but he didn't care about McCoy's personal life and it wasn't the motivation for his visit.

"I was given to understand that the Captain was here, doctor."

"Yes, he's here."

When neither of them said anything else, Spock tilted his head. McCoy was infuriating.

"May I see him?"

"No."

"Why?"

"He's sleeping. He rearranged the schedule to be free today, right?" McCoy frowned.

"Yes. I am currently in charge of the Bridge."

"Good, then go and pester them."

Doctor McCoy closed the door as rudely as he had opened it. This human needed basic training in social behavior and in respecting commanding officers. Spock buzzed again, not satisfied with McCoy's answers to his queries.

"It's Jim's birthday, okay?" said McCoy as soon as he opened the door and before Spock could speak. "It's a hard day for him."

Spock then realized the implications of the events that unfolded that day.

"Is there anything I can do?" Spock offered.

"You could do your damn job. I got this."

Spock nodded, leaving the room without expecting the doctor to just close the door again like he did previously. When the Captain talked about his deceased father, his smile vanished and his eyes clouded over with the tears he fought to hold back. Spock noticed because he knew what a human containing their pain looked like. His mother often did it when she was alive, and Spock sometimes followed that example when he wanted to suppress emotions before he could control them with meditation.

Spock decided that he would make the Captain comfortable enough for him to rely on Spock when he needed it. He would be the one who 'got' the Captain when he needed emotional support. He would be as close as McCoy was to the Captain. This was beyond his duty as a First Officer, Spock recognized, he wanted James Kirk as his friend.

He wanted to be with the Captain in everything.

3. Mister Scott.

"I told you, lass, I didn't kiss the Captain!" Mister Scott yelled in the middle of the Recreation room, where Spock was playing chess with Nyota out of politeness. She had asked him, and it would be rude to tell her that he only enjoyed playing against the Captain.

"Come on, Scotty!" Yeoman Miller was using that tone of voice that Spock found irritating. "What's the deal? What happens on poker night stays on poker night?"

The entire table laughed and Spock knew that this was probably some sort of reference he didn't understand. Humans did that frequently.

"No, what happens on poker night is none of your business. That's why you aren't invited."

"Oh, please," scoffed Yeoman Rand. "Giotto said he dared you."

"It was stupid, okay? Sometimes poker night gets funky."

"So… he dared you to kiss the Captain… how was it?"

Spock glanced at Mister Scott, who sighed rather loudly.

"Fine. It was fantastic; the Captain kisses like a champ."

"We knew it!" squeaked Lieutenant Yuuki.

"Tongue?" asked Yeoman Rand.

"Sure, why not?" Mister Scott shrugged, and Spock realized he was lying; probably to stop the women around him from continuing with their incessant questioning.

"Well, there's another mouth I can't have," Nyota sneered. "Jim is making it impossible for me to get a decent man, he keeps putting his tongue into everyone's mouth."

Spock was at loss as to whether Nyota was joking or not, since she didn't sound upset.

"I do not think Mister Scott is telling the truth. He seems to prefer to avoid the questioning by saying what the people around him want to hear."

"That's a consolation," smirked Nyota "although I know Scotty; he wouldn't kiss Jim even if someone offered him another Enterprise to dismantle. Those games are stupid; they keep daring each other to do the silliest things. Last time Jim had to spend the entire game naked because McCoy won the round."

"Doctor McCoy wanted to see the Captain unclothed?" Spock asked, confused. He had talked with the doctor and he specifically said he wasn't interested in the Captain in a sexual manner.

"It wouldn't be the first time, he's Jim's doctor. I bet McCoy is the one who's seen Jim naked the most."

That was a solid fact. Still it bothered Spock. Nudity was professional when the doctor examined the Captain, but when they were spending time in recreational activities there was no excuse.

Next time there was a poker game scheduled, Spock accepted the invitation the Captain extended.

4. Doctor McCoy (again).

Spock heard the comments about how 'loud' Jim was last night while he was at the bar with doctor McCoy. 'Groping' and 'petting' were also words used in every conversation he had the misfortune to witness. Now that he considered Jim his friend and they had become close, he found the rumors and comments about him highly upsetting. This would continue until the Captain made an order for it to stop or until he was in a stable relationship. And since the first one was unlikely to happen, Spock thought the second choice could be the solution to this dilemma, although Spock found that he wasn't inclined to that option either.

When he entered the mess hall, he saw Jim already sitting there with McCoy.

"Good morning." Spock said politely.

"Not so loud, Spock." Jim put his hands on each side of his head, moaning.

"It serves you right, moron. I told you to stop drinking, but no, you had to consume every drop of alcohol in the damn establishment," McCoy chastised.

"You could give me a damn hypo," complained Jim.

"No. I'm mad at you, for that, you get to suffer."

"Come on, Bones," Jim whined. "It wasn't that bad."

"You kept touching me in front of everyone! The gossip about us in the Academy wasn't enough? You had to drag the reputation here too?" McCoy glared.

"You could do a lot worse than me."

"Oh, don't flatter yourself. You know what this is about, don't play dumb."

"All right, fine. I'm sorry, okay? I can talk to her if you want me to."

"No. I don't. Just keep your damn hands to yourself next time."

McCoy stood up, walking away angrily from the table. Spock looked at Jim, who smiled apologetically.

"Bones was interested in someone last night, and I kind of screwed things up."

"Perhaps you should stop drinking alcoholic beverages," suggested Spock, since it was something he wished Jim would do.

"Nah, Bones will get over it. It wasn't my intention to do that, I just… sometimes I drink to forget things… bad things. And yesterday you were busy, and Bones was with this girl and I felt really alone. Maybe you don't get what it's like because you're Vulcan, but I hate the feeling. I was alone for a long time before Pike dragged me to the Academy. I don't want to be alone again."

Before Spock could comment, Doctor McCoy appeared next to Jim and injected something into his neck.

"Ouch! Warn a guy!"

"Shut up. I'm doing it because I can't take your whining all day. I hope you learned your lesson." Doctor McCoy sat in front of Jim again.

While Doctor McCoy and Jim kept talking about the doctor's sadistic tendencies regarding injecting patients, Spock recalled what Jim had just said. He knew how loneliness felt, he had had that void in his chest ever since he was a child. When he was close to Jim, he found that the emptiness was almost nonexistent. Every conversation, every game of chess and every mission gave him a small glimpse of something more. Spock wasn't sure of what, but he could feel it when he saw Jim smiling, or when he was chatting about any random topic. Although he didn't know what it was, he was certain he didn't want to lose it.

Maybe he and Jim could keep each other company. That way neither of them would feel alone.

Spock came to the decision to never leave Jim alone on shore leave again.

5. Keenser.

"He was making weird noises, I swear!"

"Come on, if Keenser was sleeping with someone, it would be Scotty. But let me tell you, that would be weird."

"That would be weird? What about the Captain?"

"Well, we know the Captain can make that possible. He knows how to bed anything that moves."

Spock had less tolerance for this kind of comment with each passing day. Taking a deep breath, he strode towards the Bridge, when he heard Mister Scott talking with Jim down the hallway.

"You could have warned the lad, Captain. You were very feisty."

"Me? He was the one trapped on the damn Jeffrey tube."

"Rand took pictures," Mister Scott smiled.

"I know. I saw them. This is worse than when people thought I was sleeping with Bones. At least Bones is attractive."

"Keenser is an attractive fellow too, Captain. He has inner beauty."

"Speaking from experience?" asked Jim, smirking.

"Don't look at me; you were the one who provoked Keenser into moaning."

"I was trying to get him out! Why everyone was in there instead of working anyway?"

"Keenser was kind of loud, Captain. And the way you two moved…"

"It was like a cheap porno," added McCoy, and Spock was startled to hear him since he hadn't been aware of the doctor's presence.

"You weren't even there!"

"Oh, but I heard everything, with graphic details and photographic evidence. Jim, you better buy Keenser flowers after this."

"Yeah, he likes those, especially roses. He eats them with oil."

McCoy and Jim looked at Mister Scott with shocked expressions.

"The lad has a weird palate."

"This coming from the guy who ate sandwiches for an entire month," said Jim.

They all laughed and kept conversing while Spock turned around and walked in the opposite direction. He left Jim alone for two hours and this was what happened. He knew that Jim had the need to help everyone in their duties, however this obviously was Mister Scott's responsibility, and now Jim was involved in unpleasant comments that Spock found unnerving.

From that day, Spock stayed glued to Jim every time he wanted to supervise other departments.

6. Lieutenant Sulu.

Spock noticed how lately the crewmembers were restless about the training sessions between Jim and Lieutenant Sulu. Apparently they were 'homoerotic enough to turn any guy'. Spock didn't know exactly what they were implying any guy would turn into, but they kept snickering when they said it so it must be something illogical.

Ensign Chekov was being harassed by the 'gossip patrol' as Nyota referred to this particular section of crewmembers. He and Nyota were having dinner nearby.

"Come on, Pavel! Spill!"

"They just train, they don't do anything else." Mister Chekov smiled gently.

"Oh, please. Have you seen them? All panting and sweating, and let's face it, Sulu's ass looks great in those trousers."

Mister Chekov blushed noticeably while everyone around him beamed.

"So you have noticed, Pavel!" said Yeoman Rand with a wink. "I knew you liked him."

"Leave him alone," said Nurse Chapel "he's our only witness."

"You could stay for the training, the Captain and Sulu always like an audience," suggested Mister Chekov.

"Two good looking guys wrestling? Trust me, we have vivid imaginations, we don't need any more material."

"I envy Sulu. He gets to see the Captain all sweaty and naked. I wonder if he prefers guys, he hasn't sleep with any girls since we started the mission."

Spock stopped listening after hearing what Lieutenant Yuuki said about Jim wrestling naked with Lieutenant Sulu. He wasn't aware of that particular piece of information. He apologized to Nyota for cutting their shared meal short, and strolled to the training room to verify this. He knew comments like that were often exaggerations or lies; in this case he needed to validate what he had heard.

Entering the training room, Spock froze at the view that greeted him. Mister Sulu was on top of Jim, while the shirtless blond was trying to get free of the iron grip the Lieutenant had on his wrists.

Clearly it had been an exaggeration then, Jim wasn't naked, although he wasn't entirely clothed either. This didn't make Spock feel more tranquil at all. The way Jim kept elevating his hips was also unhelpful.

Jim saw him standing there, and smiled widely.

"Spock! Have you come to rescue me? Sulu here is being insubordinate. I told him to lose and he didn't do it."

"Perhaps you should have rephrased it as an order so Lieutenant Sulu would be required to follow it," said Spock in a neutral tone.

"That's what I said." Mister Sulu smiled at Jim and Spock considered the fact that he could make it an order.

"Fine, fine. Two against one is hardly fair," complained Jim. "Good workout Sulu; I haven't sweated this much since the Academy. Well, not in this kind of activity anyway."

Spock wasn't too fond of that particular smile on Jim. When he recalled previous experiences of a sexual nature he had this strange smile that Spock didn't like. As a result, he tried to avoid any topic that was related to sex, although with Jim that was always a challenge.

"I'm glad I was up to your standards, Captain." Sulu offered his hand to help Jim stand up. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Sure thing, it's a date!"

As the Lieutenant was passing next to Jim, he slapped his lower back. Jim had explained the first time he did this with Doctor McCoy that it was a friendly touch and since he was a very tactile person, he touched everyone; everyone except Spock, as Jim knew about Vulcans' boundaries. Spock assured him that he wouldn't mind if Jim shared these 'friendly touches' with him too, although he hadn't foreseen that he would be upset if Jim continued these touches with other persons besides him. Particularly Doctor McCoy, who slapped him back.

"Captain –"

"Jim, Spock, we are off duty."

"Jim, I was wondering if you still are interested in training with me."

Jim looked at him with surprise, since in the past Spock had refused to train with him because he was stronger and honestly this human sometimes made Spock forget about being careful. He would never hurt Jim, he was sure, but he didn't want to harm him unintentionally.

"I thought you said it wouldn't be logical since I was weaker," Jim said, clearly still bitter about Spock's earlier words.

"I did not say that. I merely pointed out my superior strength and fighting skills, you were the one saying that it would not matter. I can see you are surpassing Mister Sulu in your training, perhaps you need a worthy opponent."

"Okay, awesome! I'll tell Sulu he's free as a bird, and now I'm all yours."

"Indeed."

7. Yeoman Rand.

It was curious that Yeoman Rand, one of the main persons on this vessel who kept talking about Jim's sexual habits, was the same person who was now hiding in the Science Laboratory.

"Yeoman, may I help you?" Spock asked politely.

"Uhm, Commander Spock… I was… dusting?" Spock lifted an eyebrow. "Okay, that was stupid. Please, don't make me go out, please."

"Is there a problem?"

"Well… you know what people are saying now. I just don't want to be harassed."

"I do not know."

"Oh, right, you are Vulcan; you don't pay attention to gossip."

Not exactly true, but not entirely false either.

"You see… the Captain's back was hurting him… and he asked me to relieve the tension… and well… he kind of… moaned. In, you know… a pleased way. Since I was leaving the room and the Captain was standing nearby, I didn't realize that a few crewmembers were passing by and saw everything."

"I see." Spock couldn't leave Jim alone at all, even in his own quarters; it seemed that he managed to get in trouble in a very short amount of time. "This was clearly a mistake. Did they ask the Captain about it?" Spock inquired, because it seemed unlike Jim to let others think the wrong thing if they asked him directly.

"Of course not!" Yeoman Rand scoffed. "They waited until I was on a break to attack me. They would never say anything to the Captain, after all what he does and who he does it with is none of our business."

That was true.

"I suggest that you clarify the situation. It is the best method to stop the harassment you have been enduring."

"Yeah, like that will stop them." Yeoman Rand sighed. "I'm sorry for bothering you, Commander."

Spock nodded his dismissal, and saw that as soon as Yeoman Rand stepped out the Laboratory, Nurse Chapel and Yeoman Miller took each of her arms and walked away.

The comments about the 'massage' incident, as the crew called it, died as soon as Jim spent the night with Doctor McCoy. Spock didn't know if this was a better or not.

8. Doctor McCoy (apparently it was the ship's OTP)

Jim's birthday was months away and they didn't have any distressing mission that would make it necessary for Jim to be in Doctor McCoy's quarters. Yet he was there; he didn't say anything to Spock, they both had the shift off. Jim just told him he had things to do; he failed to mention that it involved McCoy in any way.

"So, he's back with doctor McCoy," sighed Lieutenant Yuuki. "Sorry, Janice."

"I told you it was a misunderstanding. Believe me, if that really happened, I would have been the first one giving you the details."

"Well, I'm glad for them. Honestly, those two are the Enterprise's OTP."

Spock didn't know what an 'OTP' was, but it couldn't be anything good given the context.

"I agree, Doctor McCoy only opens up with the Captain," Nurse Chapel said. "And trust me, I'm always happy when the Captain visits McCoy, he's always moody until he sees him."

"I hope they make it official sometime soon. I can't believe that Doctor McCoy accepts the Captain sleeping around."

"Maybe they're fuck buddies."

This Spock understood; he didn't like the implication either.

Spock managed to keep his queries for their game of chess, two days after Jim spent the night in Doctor McCoy's room. He expected Jim to at least approach the subject. It would be the logical thing to do; they were supposed to be friends.

However, Jim wasn't saying anything related to that event and he was talking about regulation skirts, which was another topic Spock didn't care about and found irritating. Jim had no business noticing the length of Lieutenant Uhura's skirt and even less making it into a major point of conversation when he still had to explain why he had spent the night with McCoy.

"Doctor McCoy is well?" Spock asked rather bluntly.

Jim seemed surprised at the change of topic, although he didn't mention it.

"I guess, why? Rumors said otherwise?"

"The crewmembers were discussing the possibility of you and the good doctor being the Enterprise's OTP."

Jim laughed with amusement and Spock was at loss as to what he had said to provoke this reaction. He didn't mind, he liked Jim's laugh, he just wanted to know exactly how he had managed to obtain it in order to repeat the action when necessary.

"Oh God. He will die when he hears. He's fine now. You see, it was his daughter's birthday. He always gets upset on that day."

"I see." Spock didn't know McCoy had a daughter.

"You shouldn't listen to those gossips, Spock." Jim patted his arm playfully.

"It is not my responsibility if the crew talk in a public place within hearing range."

"I guess that's true, but to be fair I don't think they know about your sharper hearing."

Spock tilted his head. Why would that be his concern? They should keep their conversations in private places if they didn't want to be overheard. And Jim seemed to understand his gesture, since he just shook his head.

"All right, they're indiscreet, I get it. But don't worry, Bones is fine now, he'll be calling you 'hobgoblin' again soon enough."

"I will try to contain my excitement," said Spock, deadpan, while Jim laughed again.

Spock had to accept that Jim and Doctor McCoy had a history. They were best friends, and they helped each other through rough times. He would respect that, even though he wasn't fond of the idea of Jim having someone that close besides him.

It was both distressing and incredible when Spock finally realized why he invested so much of his time and effort in dissuading the crew from making comments about Jim's sexual behavior and being close to him to prevent others from doing the same thing. He had strong feelings for him. At first it had been because he was his First Officer and his job was to protect him. Then because he was his friend and he cared about Jim's happiness. However, he had missed the fact that between becoming Jim's friend and sharing his personal experiences they had built a strong relationship. It wasn't 'dreamy' as his mother told him it would be; he didn't feel butterflies in his stomach, he didn't have the sensation of floating around. He was just content with being with Jim and couldn't visualize his days without him.

He logically felt love for Jim.

9. Lieutenant Uhura.

Once Spock realized his feelings, he began thinking about the best way to court Jim. He had a reputation, and honestly Spock had heard enough about all his past conquests and how he wasn't a man of commitment and his only love was the Enterprise. Spock wasn't discouraged by this; it only meant he would have to work harder.

After all, when a Vulcan found love, he didn't relinquish it. His father proved that point.

Spock felt confident about this new development. He started reciprocating Jim's touches and often made comments about the benefits of having a serious relationship. Although Jim seemed oblivious to Spock's hints, that didn't worry the Vulcan in the slightest. Jim had difficulties seeing what was positive in his life, if he felt comfortable with the idea of a monogamous relationship, then Spock counted it as a success.

In all his calculations, Spock left out something important and later he would chastise himself about it. But now, seeing Jim and Lieutenant Uhura being escorted to a private room, Spock could only breathe deeply and attempt to subdue the anger he was feeling. They needed this planet in the Federation (according to the Admirals) and it wasn't anyone's fault but the leader who insisted on negotiating with a man who had proven himself capable of commitment. That meant Jim needed to marry the Lieutenant because apparently they considered the nuptial bond a sacred one.

In addition, they had to choose the 'future Mrs. Kirk', as Doctor McCoy called the person who was marrying Jim. At first, when the leader was looking at the landing party, he felt obliged to point out that perhaps he, being Second in Command, was the best choice. The leader didn't give him time to do it, though. When he glanced at Lieutenant Uhura, he immediately smiled and said 'she will be a fine wife'; which Spock couldn't argue with because the Lieutenant would indeed be an ideal partner for whoever she chose. (In this case, Mister Scott seemed to be the one Nyota preferred. It was a shame Mister Scott hadn't beamed down with them.)

Since they were no longer needed on the planet, and the new husband and wife were staying there to 'consummate' the marriage (Spock tried hard not to twitch at hearing this), they beamed back and of course, the landing party started speculating about the events down on the planet.

"Hi there… Where's Nyota and the Captain?" Mister Scott asked.

"They got married and now they are sealing the deal," explained Doctor McCoy brusquely.

Mister Scott looked as appalled as Spock was when he heard this, although Spock hid it better given his Vulcan training.

"If rumors are true, they'll consummate things twice," Lieutenant Giotto smirked.

"Well, she's a woman; I heard the Captain had certain preferences," added Lieutenant Cravers.

Spock was about to reprimand the Security team and forbid to any member to make crude jokes or comments about this event when Doctor McCoy spoke rather loudly.

"Zip it, morons. If I hear any of you making any remarks about this or if I hear Chapel and Rand gossiping with Yuuki and Miller in the main hall I'm going to inject both of you with something that will make your dicks fall off. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Doctor McCoy," they said in unison. Their shocked expressions were enough for Spock. Knowing Doctor McCoy, he would carry out the threat without a second thought.

The security team walked away from the transporter room, while Doctor McCoy kept muttering about 'idiots thinking they're funny'.

"Thanks, doctor," Mister Scott smiled.

"No problem Scotty." Doctor McCoy glanced at Spock and whispered "I did it for you too, hobgoblin. If you don't do anything soon, Jim will find someone else."

Doctor McCoy stepped out the platform, like he hadn't said anything out of the ordinary. Spock had thought he was being discreet; did everyone know about his intentions with Jim?

If they did, then the comments Cravers and Giotto had made earlier were even more spiteful than he had thought. Seeing that Mister Scott seemed completely ignorant of what had happened with McCoy made Spock reconsider this. Perhaps the good doctor was the only one who suspected because he was closer to Jim. Spock didn't like the doctor, he was rude and offensive and probably had an addiction problem, yet he was capable and careful when he wanted to be. Spock wasn't anxious for the doctor to say anything about his intentions.

Still, the doctor had a solid point. Jim was enticing enough for others to move faster. Spock would have to do something to prevent this.

As soon as Jim and Nyota beamed up, they started telling Mister Scott how they played 'rock, paper scissors' all night long. They seemed really invested in convincing Mister Scott that nothing had happened between them.

"I respect Uhura, Scotty, I would never touch her, not even if someone threatened me. Well, maybe if they threatened her I might, but it would be under special circumstances and I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy it, not even with tongue, okay, tongue is good but –"

"I think he understood the point, Captain," said Nyota. "And for the record, I would prefer dying to kissing you."

"That's okay Captain, I know you are a gentleman," said Mister Scott.

Jim looked at Spock and he understood that they needed to leave and give Mister Scott and Nyota some privacy. While they walked away from the Transporter room, Spock waited for Jim to speak.

"Good thing Scotty isn't jealous. Honestly, why did they choose Uhura? I mean, Bones was there, he would make a fine wife."

Spock was annoyed. Jim would prefer to be married to the doctor than to him?

"I do not think the doctor would have liked to be married. I am afraid that if you are searching for a relationship with him, you will have to forget about marriage," Spock said in a neutral tone.

"Relationship? Please, I've told you tons of times, Spock, I don't like Bones that way. I'm just saying it because Uhura was already taken, and well, Bones is single."

"I am currently without a romantic partner as well," Spock said, without really thinking about the implications of his comment.

Jim looked at him with surprise, but then he laughed quietly.

"I know marriage is a big deal for Vulcans, Spock, I wouldn't make you marry me just because someone had to. There's a fine line between duty and personal sacrifice, let's not cross it, okay?"

"You think it would be a sacrifice for me to marry you?" Spock was surprised. Jim had been always insecure; he had become aware of this as he got closer to him. However he didn't realize that this could be an obstacle too.

"Well, when you say it like that it sounds weird, but yes. You are a fantastic First Officer; I know you would do anything for duty."

"I have to clarify that you are wrong, Jim. In fact, if it was my choice, I would –"

Jim's communicator started buzzing, and he smiled remorsefully.

"Captain," Lieutenant Uhura's voice echoed. "Incoming communication from the Admiralty."

"Thanks, Uhura. Patch it through to the Conference room and tell McCoy to be there too."

"Yes, sir."

"It seems that we have another mission, Spock," Jim slapped his back. "Let's go."

Somehow this appeared to be a bad moment for Spock to confess his intentions towards Jim. He would wait until the end of this assignment and then he would tell Jim everything.

10. Nurse Chapel.

Of course, things never go as planned with Jim. Spock expected the new assignment to be something peaceful and quick. Being in the middle of a conflict wasn't his idea of romance. Maybe before the teachings of Surak this would have been ideal, but Jim probably wouldn't appreciate a declaration of love with a skull as a token of affection. Spock was next to Jim at every moment, given that he often risked himself in a reckless manner and Spock didn't like seeing Jim hurt.

Between Spock preventing one of the natives from harming Jim and the Captain being obnoxious and going further without any backup, Jim was shot; badly. He was bleeding everywhere and talking nonsense. Spock had been trying to make contact with the Enterprise, but Mister Scott was unable to locate their signal so far.

"I ran out of luck, right, Spock?" Jim wheezed.

"Please, desist from talking, Captain. You need to save your strength."

"So I'm Captain now? Don't be mean to a dying man, Spock."

"Jim," Spock corrected himself "please, do not talk."

Spock was trying to recalibrate the signal to make Mister Scott's job easier, but Jim kept talking. Spock was tempted to nerve pinch him.

"You know what sucks? I'll die and I'll miss the big kiss."

That got Spock's attention. He glanced at Jim, who looked up with glassy eyes and a sad smile.

"You know? The big kiss?"

Spock wasn't aware that a kiss could be 'bigger' than others. More intense, perhaps, but 'big' was a measure of size.

"People always talk about the big kiss. The one from the person who loves you. They say it's amazing. Bones told me it was worth the marriage from hell, and my mom said it was magical."

Apparently human mothers used that particular word frequently.

"And now I'm dying and I won't know what it feels like. Now seems like a good moment to believe in reincarnation. I hope I come back and have a second chance."

Spock knew Jim was incoherent from the loss of blood and his wound was probably infected. Still, it pained Spock to see Jim so broken, so fragile. This was his fault, he should have been more careful; he shouldn't have let Jim out of his sight. He was supposed to protect him.

Jim was delirious. Spock wasn't. Yet he had to do this. Jim would live and they would start a relationship and they would get bonded. Jim wasn't dying, he wouldn't allow it. And to make things clear, Spock leant down and brushed his lips gently, feeling a small thrill in his mind. Spock didn't want to overwhelm Jim, in fact he was acting mostly on impulse, but then Jim lifted his head with what had to be a enormous exercise of willpower and kissed Spock back with desperation. Spock held Jim tightly, sensing everything around him disappearing. When he pulled back, Jim looked at him with a smile and murmured 'thank you'.

Everything happened fast after the kiss. Mister Scott managed to beam them back, Doctor McCoy took Jim to Sickbay and he was standing there, with Jim's blood on his uniform and hands, with the sensation of Jim's lips and emotions lingering in his mind.

"Commander, are you okay?" Mister Scott asked.

Right, he had to take command of the ship. He had to make things easier for Jim while he was healing. He wouldn't fail this time.

He paged Sickbay every ten minutes to see how Jim was recovering. Doctor McCoy was unhelpful as usual, and then he stopped answering, which concerned Spock. He knew that if Jim's condition worsened, McCoy would tell him so immediately, but Spock hated to be uninformed about what was going on with Jim.

When everything was sorted out on the Bridge, Spock headed to Sickbay and was determined to stay there even if Doctor McCoy threatened to use physical force to get him out. He would nerve-pinch him if necessary. When he arrived, there were a few crewmembers outside Sickbay, apparently troubling Nurse Chapel.

"Did you see him naked?"

"Did you take pictures?"

"Is it true that he has soft skin?"

Nurse Chapel shook her head and smirked.

"It was all professional, and besides, McCoy didn't let me do anything but undress him."

How humans managed to maintain their obnoxious behavior even in stressful situations was beyond Spock's comprehension. The Captain was injured and all the crew cared was about if Nurse Chapel saw him naked? He was contemplating the possibility of knocking all of them unconscious when Doctor McCoy appeared and chased everyone away.

"About time you showed up." The doctor glared at Spock.

"If I recall correctly, you said that if I came here you would inject me with Andorian flu," Spock retorted.

"Oh, right. Well, come in then. You can stay for a while."

Spock nodded and walked in, imagining what sight would greet him. Jim was lying in a bed, looking rather pale for Spock's taste.

"You'll get used to it eventually," McCoy sighed. "He's always pulling stunts like this."

"Let me assure you doctor, this will be the last time this happens."

"You got it bad, right?" McCoy chuckled. "Look Spock, I know you don't like hearing the crew talking about Jim. But us humans deal with things differently. We make jokes when we're worried, and I think the crew wants Jim to be happy. They care for Jim deeply, okay? Don't take things so seriously."

Spock didn't think the doctor noticed his discomfort at hearing the crew talking about Jim. Apparently McCoy was more observant that Spock gave him credit for. Spock nodded, and Doctor McCoy left the room and went into his office.

Spock only left Sickbay to fulfill his shifts on the bridge. McCoy said Jim was out of danger and would be conscious at any time now. He wanted to be there when it happened.

Unfortunately he was in conference with the Admirals when Nyota called to notify him of this. Admiral Pike dismissed him quickly and he went straight to Sickbay. When he entered the medical ward he saw Lieutenant Yuuki and Nurse Chapel next to Jim, smiling widely.

"You scared us, Captain!" Lieutenant Yuuki said.

"You should be more careful." Nurse Chapel adjusted the IV in Jim's arm. "Doctor McCoy gets grumpier when you have to be here."

"Bones takes everything too seriously. So, which one of you lovely ladies will give me a sponge bath?"

"That would be Christine, Captain," laughed Lieutenant Yuuki.

Spock made his presence noticeable to stop the jokes about that particular topic. Nobody would be giving Jim a sponge bath if he could prevent it.

"Hi, Spock!" Jim smiled, although he avoided the Vulcan's eyes.

"Captain."

"I'll come back later for your bath, Captain," promised Nurse Chapel, leaving the room with Lieutenant Yuuki.

They were silent for a small amount of time. Spock didn't know if Jim remembered what had happened right before he lost consciousness, and if he didn't, he was at a loss as to whether it was a good idea to tell him about it. Spock was waiting for Jim to be at least comfortable about a relationship, yet the events that unfolded on the mission had rushed things and now all his plans may be useless.

"Look, it doesn't have to be awkward, okay?" Jim began. "You were doing me a favor, and okay, it was my fault because I got all corny, but I thought I was dying and I didn't know you knew how I felt; although Bones said that I was obvious enough for even you to notice, I did my best to hide it, I swear, that's why I let the crew gossip about me sleeping around with everyone, and yeah, when they started talking about me and Keenser it got weird, but I was trying to make my stupid feelings less obvious and you don't have to do anything because I know you don't feel the same way and I'll get over it, maybe it's the meds talking because I can't stop babbling but I wanted to make things clear for you so you don't get all weird with me and change our friendship because you're afraid of hurting my feelings or whatever. I can handle it, I've been handling it since we started the mission, talk about love at first sight, right? You probably won't get this but anyway, I'm telling you that it's okay and –"

Spock leaned down and kissed Jim, sensing the shock and surprise from his future bondmate. If Spock had approached things directly months back instead of trying to develop things slowly they could have been in a relationship a long time ago. Being around humans affected Spock's judgment, but feeling the contentment and happiness radiating from Jim, he could hardly care anymore.

Spock reluctantly stepped back since Jim was recovering and shouldn't be exerting himself. Jim made a small noise of complaint and Spock shouldn't have found it this adorable. Everything about Jim was endearing.

"Did you do that to shut me up, or you were propositioning me?" Jim smiled warmly.

"I do not see how those options are mutually exclusive." Spock took Jim's hand, stroking it gently.

It wasn't a romantic dinner with candles. It wasn't a shore leave with a small set up to propose. It wasn't any of the scenarios that Spock had imagined for when he finally told Jim about his feelings. Still, he wouldn't change anything.

11. The real one: Spock (although nobody believed it).

Spock expected the crew to realize that Jim was in a serious relationship now, and end their speculation about Jim's sexual life. After all, it was well known that Vulcans were monogamous and territorial. If Jim was with him, it was unlikely that he would be with another person. Except the crew were even denser than Jim.

Jim didn't want to say anything about their relationship yet; he said it was exciting to have a secret from the others and Spock would hardly deny Jim something he wanted. Honestly, that human had him completely subdued to his desires. He just couldn't say no to Jim, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. Spock started acting like a partner with Jim in the presence of others. He stood closer to him; he caressed his hands and kissed him in the Vulcan custom. So far only Nyota had noticed this and she was the most discreet person he knew, she wouldn't say anything. Doctor McCoy was aware of their relationship too, but he also decided to just watch Spock suffer instead of trying to make things clear to everyone else. Doctor McCoy could be cruel sometimes.

"You know? The Captain has been really decent lately. No conquests so far," Yeoman Rand said during dinner in the mess hall.

"Maybe he's still recovering. He got really lucky this time."

Spock concurred.

"Yeah, the only person who visits him late at night is Commander Spock," said Yeoman Miller.

"And we all know that Commander Spock won't fall for the Captain's charm." Nurse Chapel sounded confident.

"I don't know, Chapel. The Commander seems fond of the Captain. I think he has a shot with him," Lieutenant Yuuki mused.

"I'm telling you, there's no way Commander Spock will fall for the Captain."

"Oh, are you still crushing on the guy?" said Lieutenant Yuuki. "The Commander will fall for the Captain before he falls for you, Christine."

"That's really harsh, Kyo," said Yeoman Rand.

"This has nothing to do with me, okay?" Nurse Chapel spat. "I'm just saying what I think."

"Yeah, sorry", apologized Lieutenant Yuuki. "Maybe you're right, Christine. Commander Spock is very private. They wouldn't make a good match anyway."

"Don't be so sure," said Yeoman Miller. "Opposites attract."

Basically, it seemed that the crewmembers wouldn't believe that they were in a relationship until Spock kissed Jim heatedly in front of them. He did consider McCoy's suggestion about urinating around Jim but then he remembered humans had a weaker olfactory sense, it would be pointless.

They were at a reception to welcome a new planet into the Federation. It was a big feast, although mostly it consisted of meat; Spock only drank water.

"Captain Kirk, you are very handsome," the Queen of the planet said with a flirtatious smile.

Spock tensed right up.

"Thank you, your highness," Jim answered politely. "You are very attractive as well."

Spock knew Jim was trying to be diplomatic, this didn't mean anything. But he didn't like it. He needed to work at controlling his feelings; jealousy in particular was very intense.

"How about you and I get more comfortable? I bet you have great skills." If the Queen thought she was being subtle, she was in error.

"Oh, I'm honored, but I'm afraid I have to decline. I'm already taken."

Spock saw how the Security team went wide-eyed. McCoy only snorted and Nyota smiled in approval. She had been wary about Jim's commitment to the relationship.

"That's no problem, Captain, invite her. The more, the merrier, right?" The Queen winked at Jim.

"I do not share, your highness," said Spock bluntly, and the table went silent.

The Queen had the decency to look embarrassed and apologized for her direct approach. At least this would be enough for the crewmembers to finally acknowledge their relationship.

They were about to beam back up when Lieutenant Giotto spoke.

"Nice save, Commander Spock," he congratulated.

"I beg your pardon, Lieutenant?" asked Spock.

"There, saying that you were the Captain's boyfriend. The Queen would have insisted otherwise."

McCoy scoffed incredulously and Spock shared his frustration. Apparently the Security team thought Spock said that just to prevent the Captain from making a diplomatic incident. Jim smiled apologetically. Their relationship would be secret for a long time if Spock didn't do something about it.

Spock blamed the latest comments about Jim and the Queen for what he did. Jim said he was just that irresistible. But when the mess hall was crowded, Spock took Jim's hand, led him to the center of the room and kissed him forcefully. Jim moaned and gripped Spock hard, which Spock took as a sign of approval. He deepened the kiss enough to make his point clear.

When they finally broke apart, more for lack of air than lack of willingness, Spock looked directly into Jim's eyes.

"I do not share," he said loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Then go back to your damn room!" spat out McCoy. "There are people trying to eat here, dammit!"

Spock conceded Doctor McCoy's point. Besides, Spock wanted to mark Jim and he didn't wish for the others to see him naked. They didn't leave their shared room until the next morning, and Spock was glad to see that everyone was aware of their new status. They congratulated them all day long, and Doctor McCoy threatened to kill him if he dared to hurt Jim. Nyota did the same to Jim, although Jim joked around and made her angry.

"Spock, did you hear?" Jim was lying beneath him, petting his ear. "We are the Enterprise's number one OTP! We beat Uhura and Scotty!"

Spock didn't know if that was good, but he also didn't care.

"Indeed?" he said.

"Yeah, we are number one!"

Jim showed how happy he was at being number one on the list; although Spock asked several times about the meaning of 'OTP', Jim just said it was best if he didn't know. He asked Nyota as well, and she said the same thing. Spock couldn't complain about the results, though, Jim barely let him go to clean himself before he wanted to prove why they were number one.

A month later Jim was sulking because they were replaced from the number one spot by another couple, making them second on the list. At first he thought Nyota and Mister Scott were at the top again, however Nyota told him they were number three.

Apparently Doctor McCoy and the hyposprays were the Enterprise's real OTP.