A/N: That's probably the longest hiatus I inflicted on you guys… Sorry, again… Still, this last year of College is busier than I expected. I'll keep updating this story, but my timetable is extremely variable from one month to the next, so you might expect some long pauses and then a few chapters published in a row. Point is, the story is not, and will not be, abandoned.

As always, constructive criticism is appreciated!

Edit february 2017: Hey ! I have not forgotten this story, and I still plan to finish it. However, I am currently busy with my thesis, and my last few weeks of internship before I can finally receive my diploma. The chapters of this story are relatively short, so I may be able to upload sometime in the next month or so, but I will make no promises. I am truly sorry for the delay, but rest assured that you will be able to read the end of this story someday - just maybe not that soon.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pride and Prejudice.

Chapter 20: Family advice

Darcy cringed when he heard the door slam behind him. It was not his habit to be so brutal with his house and its furniture, but his exhaustion and frustration betrayed him annoyingly often since his return from Hertfordshire.

After his confrontation with Miss Elizabeth, he had found himself unable to remain in the neighbourhood and ordered his things packed and delivered in London while he rode to the city by himself. He knew he would need some time alone to process everything that had been said by the young lady, and, to his shame, used the upcoming winter as an excuse to send Georgiana to Pemberley almost as soon as he arrived in his town house.

He was aware that his temper was not his best feature, and was glad that his sister was not here to witness his brooding and irritated mien. He knew, however, that such abrupt dismissing had probably hurt her. Another fault he would have to atone for.

Because he spent more time than he was comfortable with thinking about Miss Elizabeth and his failure to earn her trust and her hand, he soon decided to bury himself in work to keep his mind from wandering.

As he studied papers detailing possible and investments in an attempt to determine which one would most profitable in the future, he wondered what the point was of ensuring his fortune kept growing when it was unlikely he would ever have a son or daughter to inherit. He was nearing the end of his third decade, and he had somehow managed to betray the only woman he had ever wanted to marry. Some moment during his time in Hertfordshire, Elizabeth had become so dear to him that he had unconsciously decided that he would either marry her or remain a bachelor until his death.

His gaze fell back onto the numerous papers on his desk. The Darcy family had not become so prosperous by remaining idle or brooding. And he knew enough of his own family history that many of his ancestors had made mistakes that had sometimes taken years to correct. But it seemed the one trait of character that was always inherited was stubbornness – none of his ancestors had given up, and he would not shame his name by admitting defeat after one lost battle.

It was an easy decision to take, for he was proud of his ancestry and extremely reluctant to give up hope of marrying his lady love. However, he had no idea how to proceed from here.

He realized that Bingley's marriage to Miss Bennet was a golden opportunity for him. He was also aware that both sisters seek to protect one another. Miss Bennet had helped him after he promised that he would not ever betray Miss Elizabeth, who had definitely felt betrayed by his disclosure to his friend. He was confident – just as he had been then, for he would not have confided into Bingley otherwise – that no harm would come to Miss Elizabeth or her family because of it. The material point was, however, that he should not have acted without her consent. Now, he was unsure Miss Bennet would support him, no matter how repentant he was. She might even ensure that her sister and himself never visit Netherfield at the same time after the wedding.

That left him with no ally to plead his case to the young woman, and he knew she would likely even more wary than she had been before – despite her own acknowledgement of their shared feelings, or perhaps because of it.

He remembered his aunt's reply to his letter, and the name of the Bennet's relations in trade. Miss Elizabeth had confided relying on her uncle's advice when dealing with investments for Longbourn. They sounded like an intelligent and hard-working couple that cared more about their own contentment than the image they gave to a society that relied solely on the appearance of wealth and fashion.

With this thought in mind, he carefully searched all his proposals of investment for the name Gardiner. He usually refused to even glance at the name before he had carefully analysed the project presented, but this would be an exceptional investment from which he hoped for much more than money.

He finally found one in the pile where he put the projects that he found promising. He immediately began to draft a letter in which he expressed his sincere interest for the project of furthering the commerce with the East, and a wish to meet with Mr Gardiner. He was uncomfortable in hiding his true goal for such encounter, but was unsure the Gardiners knew anything about his interactions with their niece. In fact, he did not know whether any fore knowledge would be to its advantage or disadvantage.

He was doubly disappointed the next day, when he received a reply stating that Mr Gardiner was currently out of town and would remain so until the New Year and his cousin barged into the house.

''In case you failed to notice, Richard, the knocker is not on the door. Most people correctly interpret this fact as meaning that I do not wish to be disturbed in my house'' Darcy said in a mix of exasperation and amusement. He had a feeling this day was not going to be a good one, and had no wish for his cousin's antics.

''Be glad that I am the first one who ignored your absence of knocker, Darce. My father has heard of your return to London and is probably drafting a list of potential brides for you as we speak. Many of which are in town and eager to meet you.'' Richard declared withn a heavy sigh as he settled in the chair without waiting for an invitation.

Darcy frowned. ''It was kind of the Earl to send a doctor to examine Anne and finally convince Aunt Catherine that married life would be too detrimental to her health, and against both our wishes. However, I would have preferred if he did not use my unmarried status as a mean of bargain and a way to expand his political influence. I am a Darcy, not a Fitzwilliam.''

His cousin shrugged. ''You carry both names, and you will inherit Matlock if Henry and I die without issue. Henry is over thirty and sick, so Father has a hard time promoting him as a suitor. The young ladies' fathers fear he will die before he can sire a son and will leave their daughters with nothing but their dowries. And you know that few ladies of the ton wish to marry a soldier like me.''

Darcy raised an eyebrow. ''The second son of an Earl, whose unmarried elder brother is of questionable health? The history of society is full of young women being hurriedly married to such men, for better or worse. Many would consider you the best bet to obtain a close relation to Earldom.''

Richard smiled widely. ''Unfortunately, this second son is always eager to prove how indelicate soldiers can be compared to polite society, and always has frightening tales of death and battles to share.''

Darcy shook his head. Richard had never been one to let himself be manipulated, and had no wish to marry until he retired – if at all. He noticed that his cousin's face had grown serious once more, and listened.

''The point is, Darce, that the three of us are all unmarried. You are the youngest of the lot, you are healthy as a horse, you have a good reputation and quite a fortune attached to your name. Many would hesitate to marry a daughter to Henry or me, whether it is because they fear for their advancement in society or doubt our characters. They would have no such reservations with you, and Father knows that.'' Richard stated plainly. ''I think he is growing worried when he sees his political enemies with grandchildren, when he is not even sure his eldest son will outlive him.''

Darcy remained silent for a while and glanced at the reply he had received earlier. ''Well, I have no wish and no reasons to remain in town. I miss my sister, and wish to spend Christmas and the New Year in Pemberley. I have no doubt that the Earl will be busy in town, but perhaps your mother, Henry and yourself would welcome an invitation to my estate?''

''Indeed, I believe we would. My mother and brother are already settled in Matlock. I shall travel tomorrow and share your invitation.'' Richard said as he rose. ''Will you leave tomorrow as well?''

''I'd rather not give an opportunity to my uncle to visit before I can escape the city. I will leave as soon as the carriage can be prepared.''

''Until Christmas, then, Cousin.''

''Until Christmas.''

His travel to Pemberley was uneventful, and he was happy to finally reach his home. Georgiana easily forgiven him after he assured her that his shortness was the consequence of his foul mood and certainly not of anything she had done. When she enquired as to the cause of his foul mood, he begged her to wait until the arrival oh Aunt Amelia and her sons, as he had no wish to tell the tale several times.

Lady Amelia Fitzwilliam, warned by her youngest son that her nephew was somewhat depressed, came a few days before Christmas with Henry and Richard, and immediately insisted that Darcy explain why he was in Derbyshire, and whether or not he was engaged to his young lady from Hertfordshire.

Needless to say, her declaration was met with complete silence as Darcy had not shared his interest in the young woman with anyone else, and the man himself had never expected his aunt to be so forward.

It was Georgiana who timidly broke the awkward atmosphere. ''Brother? Are you engaged?''

Darcy sighed heavily and gestured for everyone to move into the drawing room and sit down. Georgiana called for refreshments and looked intently at her brother.

''I am not engaged, dear sister, and you can rest assured that I would not wait so long to tell you if I were. However, I did meet and propose to a young woman in Hertfordshire.'' He exposed briefly.

''That young woman is Miss Elizabeth Bennet, isn't it? Do you mean that she rejected your offer? Why on earth would she do such a thing?'' Lady Amelia noticed that her nephew was shifting uncomfortably and her eyes narrowed. ''Fitzwilliam Darcy, what did you do?''

Darcy clenched his fists and glanced at his cousins, grateful to see that they were both serious – the wound was still too raw for him to tolerate any tease on the subject.

''I acted like a fool. I admired her – I still do – and slowly fell in love with her. She never hid the fact that she had no wish to marry, from some unknown reason – hence why I asked you to investigate any potential scandal, Aunt. But we spent a lot of time together, sometimes stretching the boundaries of propriety but never breaching them. We became close friends, and it was obvious, to myself and others, that we both wished for more.''

''Then what happened? It sounds like a fairytale so far.'' Richard pointed out.

Taking a deep breath, Darcy quickly related all that he knew about Miss Elizabeth and her family, as well as the story of their relationship.

''I am used to taking care of others and I felt that she deserved the credit for all that she had accomplished. It never occurred to me that I should not have shared such information without her consent, even to her future brother.'' He concluded an hour later.

He took a sip of his tea and grimaced when he realized it was cold. Georgiana prepared him a new cup mechanically.

His aunt sat straighter in her chair. ''Indeed, you should not have. Women are entirely dependent on their husbands, and your lady is used to being her own mistress as much as you are used to being your own master. And she clearly has other reasons that make her value trust above all else. Do you have any guess what those might be?'' She asked.

Wordlessly, Darcy shook his head. He had spent many nights wondering the same thing. ''I once thought she might be reluctant to leave Longbourn, but she seemed happy when her sister Mary started to take an active role and visit the tenants. In fact, she seemed almost eager to relinquish the care of the estate to other people – as long as they are kind and capable.''

''Was she abused? As a child?'' Richard suddenly enquired.

Surprised, Darcy confessed that he had suspected this as well. ''I have no doubt that Mr Bennet would not have allowed it, but Mrs Bennet is certainly quite harsher with her second daughter than with any of the others.'' He admitted.

Richard nodded. ''From what you described, she reminded me of some soldiers who had to travel long and far into the enemy's territory. Even once they are safely back in England, the amount of people they are close to is very few. They can interact well with most of society, but it feels like they are always wary of their surroundings, expecting someone to discover a nationality that they no longer need to hide. Basically, they spent so much time being on their guard that it has become habit and they no longer know how to be relaxed.''

Henry spoke up for the first time. ''What will you do now, Cousin?''

Darcy finished his cup and looked at all of them before answering. ''I am not willing to give up yet. I made mistakes, but I will use them to better myself. Jane Bennet is engaged to Bingley, and I am his best man. I am quite sure Miss Elizabeth will act as her sister's maid of honour, which will provide me with an opportunity to discuss everything with her. Even if marriage remains somehow impossible, I would like to at least retrieve our friendship. I am also trying to meet her uncle from London, for I know she values his advice, and I trust him more than I do her father.''

''And do you know when Bingley plans to marry his Miss Bennet?'' Lady Amelia asked.

''From what I deciphered in his latest letter, late spring.'' He replied. ''I will go to Hertfordshire directly from my annual visit at Rosings.''

''Then before we finish this discussion and enjoy the end of the year festivities, I will give you, as well as the others, a last piece of advice. No one is completely right or completely wrong in an argument. There is a greatness of character in admitting your mistakes, but it is a foolish thing to take all the blame upon yourself. Your young lady is just as human as you are, and made mistakes as well. Do not put her on a pedestal she will be unable to stay on – it would be unkind to both of you.''