UPDATE
Story updates and announcements

I made like HyenaAA and went out to the store for a pack of cigs for the past year and a half. Now I have returned to unleash the Ush.

Links
Cross-posted stories and social media accounts (fill in the periods)

DeviantArt: darfur-maxx dot deviantart dot com AO3: archiveofourown dot org/users/Darfur_Maxx/ FictionPress: fictionpress dot com/u/1110586/ Tumblr: darfurmaxx dot tumblr dot com/

Introduction
Mission statement and biography

Hello you greasy shit-babies, I am the God of Grease. I've always had an eclectic sense of humour and I strive to create memorable works of art. Sometimes it's considered spam. I'm not exactly the most inoffensive writer on the internet, so bear with me as I drag you down the saucy tubes of InuYasha's narrow urethra of sadness and loneliness. I generally write about whatever makes me laugh, though I have been gradually branching out as of late. Namely, into dramatic, occasionally horrifying realms. That doesn't mean that your "Sonic's boner making Pac-Man noises at giant rapist vaginas" or "SpongeBob flinging himself ass first onto Squidward's greasy fish head" stories are going away, though. There's plenty more of those pocketfuls of strange a coming. I am here to shatter the last vestiges of my amateurish beginnings as a spam writer and shine like the greasy mozzarella cunt-sucker that I truly am!

Just a small disclaimer, it was something I just thought of now. I do try to respect other writers, in that even if they do not like my stories, that they could still offer advice or opinions that might help me improve my work. I love reading reviews on my stuff, and my PM does work, so there. Maybe we could even become friends, who the hell knows?

Current Fanfiction
Listed in order of publishing

WHERES DER JAZZLABELLER
In all honestly, I'm not even sure what this is actually supposed to be, story-wise. The first and only chapter is actually another story I made a long while back, it was made for these two girls I used to know from DeviantArt. I remember showing one of them this fanfic. She fucking hated it. This is also the least raunchy, perverted, and offensive story I've made in recent memory, like seriously.

Kantai Castrations Love Collection
This is what happens when you take your inspiration from some guy that writes about castrating characters from children's shows a lot. It's a morbid inspiration, you see. This could very well turn out to be my weirdest work yet, and that's saying something. I'm not actually into the whole castrated nullo and bathing thing Travis does, that shit's gross. I just like to make fun of it. Alfred Alfer stars in this story, because he's kewl. :3 and without him, I'll only have creepy ass pedonullos to work with.

SpongeBob DickPants
This was one of my earliest stories on this site, and after all these years, it's finally back home. Out of all of the old fanfics, this and maybe one other has the highest chance of actually being updated. Now updating!

Doug's Happy Adventures
This is the earliest story I written on request. Said person that requested it hasn't bothered since. Technically still updating, but I don't give much of a shit about it at this point. Floppydicks.

The Man Who is Master of Propane
Another old school fanfiction, this time with shitloads of random and propane. It never got updated and is now considered a one-shot (like it wasn't one to begin with.)

Sexy Kenshin Sexy
Yet another old fanfic. This one was written in one go on some crappy ass forum I was on ages ago. There was a part two in the works, but mehhh, I'll probably integrate it into some story I barely worked on years ago, or something. Kenshin will never see the blight of day again, the greasy dutch cocksucker.

Sonic's Furry Chubby
Yet a-fucking-nother old story, starring the Internet's secret sexual fantasy. This fic alone got more flames than all of my other works at the time combined, and is probably the reason why I had to start over from scratch on here. Not that it matters now, my baby from 2007 is finally back home! :')

Harrison Ford - The Biggest Slut
This one's particularly interesting. This was inspired by this incredibly awful Simpsons porn story I came across like half a decade ago. I ended up editing that story and submitted it for some forum holiday thing on YouChew. So why submit this dog shit here, four years later? Simple, because I think it's funny. It is quintessential diarrhea in text form, and its short and sweet for something that looks like it was written with someone's hairy ass cheeks.

Finn the Wigger
This ended up being the last actual story I submitted on FF.N before my original account was dicked like a naughty lil' shit. I was going through major writer's block when I made it, so it serves as a meaningful glimpse into my 2013 persona (clinging to the glory of the past, unsure what the fuck to do with it). It also stars Miss Giant Bleeding Bubonic Vagina, so there's that. Will become less coherent and more breast-related in later chapters, because I can't for the life of me write these assholes in any sort of character. Even writing them out of character is a pain.

ALREADDSFA
It used to be called "Alfred Fanfiction", which was highly unoriginal and GAY. Now it goes by its real name. This story is pure, unbridled silliness, mixed with self loathing, sleep deprivation and most importantly, a divine inspiration. Yes, it's a sentimental piece of work. This is what I created after I first really got into the magical, emotionally-disturbed, fanciful fuckwhore dog known as Alfred. FUCKING! Alfer. This is probably one of, if not THE highest quality gibberish incubated in fear and love that was available to the burgeoning Alfred fandom back in 2009. It was so touching, the members of the internet forum known as thebackalleys all ejaculated over this wonderful creation, and many enlightened balls and boobs were rubbed and circle-jerked for many nights to cum ;)

Alfred's Pornstar StoryOf Rise of Fixed Alfred Christ's Destroyed Fucking Playhouse 2
Also known as Alfred's Pot Shenanigans. First off, I gotta say that the FORMATTING IS FINALLY NOT SHIT! FUCKING YES FUCKING YES FUCKING YES I NEEDED IT TO FUCKING CHANGE SINCE FUCKING FOREVER! Now it can be experienced like how it was meant to be! As for the fic itself, it's basically a stream-of-consciousness type of story that was inspired by Alfred, much like ALREADDSFA was. More effort and less gibberish was involved. There's even Blue's Clues themed free verse poetry. And everybody loves Blue's Clues themed free verse poetry.

Ryan Dunn Rides the Porshe Lumberjack Bareback!
This is purely a spamfic that I crapped out sometime in like 2014 and never really got anywhere with. It was never submitted and I never thought I actually would. But anyway, fuck it. It's funny, so it goes up. Also it has no pedonullos or any Travis shit, unlike the shitdemonic influences that my more recent works have contracted.

Ushio and Them Take off Their Bras
Inspired by the same author that brought you The Gay Bathhouse trilogy, as well as countless robotic paragraphs about children's genitals and feet. This is a horrible idea that I listened to, anyway, and look where it is now: right fucking here. This is meant to parody the writing style of Travis in particular, while Kantai Castrations Love Collection is more of a spamfic that desperately wants to be more than just a fucked up piece of nullo eunuch ass. It also has boobs in it. Lots and lots of boobs.

Burger World: Thy Flesh Consumed
This fic has a bit of a backstory to it. This was meant to be a gift for somebody's birthday back in 2015. Whose birthday was it for? I'll let you fine young cannibals figure that out, yourselves. This is the second story submitted that was written on my phone actually being submitted, the first being Finn the Wigger. Hooray for more old stories being published! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Pushing Buttons - The Hardest Button to Button
One of my latest, and greatest attempts at making something readable out of my sleep deprived drabbles. It's very loosely based on the works of a spammer that I saw in the Mario section of this website a couple years ago. They were sort of funny for things that probably took five to ten minutes to write, tops. This fanfic is basically a better written version of those shitty ass stories, with a touch of my own special talent of turning bizarre spam into some real outlandish shit.

For Angelica Gets Ununoctium!
Better known back in the old 2007 days as its not-safe-for-FFN title, Fuck All Grown Up! This is my second real fanfic that I've ever written. The first was some bad InuYasha bullshit. You know, the kind of bullshit you get when you write with one hand. Anywho, this was my first legit attempt to put a real story in my spam writings. I actually tried to make it work. It probably would've, too. At least if I hadn't procrastinated, became wholly distracted, moody, lazy, and unhappy, usually for no actual good reason. Or from taking it too seriously, instead of letting myself enjoy creating this piece more. It's also one of the first, if not the first, fanfic that featured Drew Pickles and Barney the Dinosaur as the gloriously homosexual super-deviants they were portrayed as, by the Barney Bunch. So yes, this is officially a piece of Barney Bunch history. After all, you can't have an authentic Ronald McDonald (better known as the Penis Clown,) raping a child's corpse at the bottom of the swimming pool experience without Dick the Clown filming it all while jacking his fat, long clown cock off even after he cums thrice in three minutes (bag, that was well.)

Cars 4: Lightning McQueen Goes the Hemingway
This story was created by a friend of mine, in late November, 2016. She never got around to submitting it anywhere, and April Fool's was coming around, so guess what got uploaded? Anyway, if you like my stories, you'll probably like this one, too.

Travis' Playhouse
This is another parody of the legendary weirdy beardy baby himself. Much like my other parodies, it was written in a spur-of-the-moment, being a byproduct of the way that I let my emotions control flow of the story. It's also a parody of Alfred's Playhouse. This has something for busty crust punks and hairy homophobic nullo eunuchs, alike. I gotta warn you though, this one gets pretty gross at certain parts . . .

Ben Joneses' Alt-Right Adventure!
A new Arthur fic was long overdue, and what better way to unleash more mayhem on this fandom than with a racy asshole that cares only about himself? This is also a Travis parody, though it's focused more on Ben and his stupid ass, and maybe, possibly some commentary on the Alt-Right movement. If you're lucky.

Putrid Ninja Lovetoy
After what felt like forever (at least for me,) I finally submit something other than Travis parodies and brain vomit. This is a spamfic, through and through. It was started around 2014, I think. Bluh. Fuckin' Naruto.

The Trials of InuYasha
Finally, after all these years of being completely neglected, this piece of shit returns. Wanna know what that means? It means that every one of my old stories are back online! ISN'T THIS WONDERFUL!? This was the first actual fanfic that I've ever, ever submitted, way back in 2006 (I ended up uploading a super spammy, barely readable fic beforehand, but I ended up losing it.) As for why it took so long to reupload . . . it was embarrassing to read back on it. You'll see what I mean.

Holy Man
From the creator of Cars 4: Lightning McQueen Goes the Hemingway, comes a romance story, starring the author, and Jeebus himself. It'll be sure to rock a one-humped camel's smelly spermy ballsack!

Hentai Man's Excellent Adventure!
This was originally a spam fanfic that was created way back in 2007, on the forum of a certain animation spam crew that operated on Newgrounds at the time. This is really, really raunchy, weird, and silly. Which you probably dig, chances are. Hentai Man wasn't originally related to Powdered Toast Man or The Ren & Stimpy Show, but I always imagined Hentai Man looking like Powdered Toast Man, for some reason.

Kill Yr Dogs
This is one of those things that I've had lying around since like, 2010. It'll have short chapters, since it's just freeform spam for me. It stars beloved TV show host Mike Rowe on his quest to reclaim his rightful throne on Discovery Channel's Dirty Jobs from the psycho fagdog that licks peanut butter off of David Duke's angry, knife-like dick.

Sub-dalton Cracker Skank
This is one of the more relatively recent stories that I've created, having wrote it back in 2014. It's not a typical spamfic; it reads like THC-flavoured pulp and is best enjoyed with a Fist of the North Star marathon.

Travis 2017 and IsmaelandLuigi21 Naked
As you can probably tell by the title alone, this story doesn't fuck around. It has ALL the juicy Travis-verse shit-nanigans you'd expect from a typical Travis or Luigi story, except it won't rot your brains from the inside out by reading it. Inspired by the successful Travis parody/call out fanfic The Travis Chronicles, by Your Saving Grace is Here.

Alfred Alfer Kills Himself
This story is completely, totally gay. Utterly gay, and steeped in gayness. Not the homosexual kind of gay, either. I have exactly zero fucks to give. Suck my ass, Emily Youcis. Eat my dick, Travis Hicks, and may all you dirty fucking animals burn!

Neo-dadist Arthur
This story is an allegory of the Arthur community on FFN. It went through some shit over the years, and this story should hopefully provide some perspective to it.

HaruhiXMikuru, the Way God and Jesus Intended
This is an old ass spam edit of someone's raunchy, disgusting Sonic the Hedgehog fuck story, starring the whiny moeblobs from that anime that everybody watched but instantly forgot about. Oh, to fall back into the days of random, epic dog dickings and ultraspam once again . . .

Peter Anderson Plays with the 6th Destroyer Division
This story came from yet another inspiration with weird ass fanfiction authors, though this time it's not Travis. It's actually from what appears to be a troll author, known as jokeaccount (formerly known as ilovekids55.) It's a one-shot parody of everybody's favourite happy-go-lucky forty-something, super-powered brony pedophile serial rapist, Peter FUCKING GODDAMNED ASSED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDERSON!

Ritualistic Retards' Rebula
This is one of my short spam drabbles that I created not too long ago. It's short and sweet, and it features Bob Ross. That's all that I'll say about it here.

Travis Goes to a Bar: A Love Story
Sometimes, I just kinda write like I'm on krokodil and call it a spam. This is one of those stories.

Anus Bleeding Sonic—Hot Sexy Young Blondes
I had a total Terry Lynch moment and wrote a short story in about an hour. The title was directly ripped from one of those porn search engine spam sites, with the bland webpage design and all these weird ass phrases such as "Busty girl licks and rubs dick backgrounds gay", and "MALE DOG ASS FUCKED. How hot is this fucking movie? VERY. A nice juicy male dog ass hole being plowed by a beefy white guy with a big dick."

What Mario Saw That Night
This story takes place in the same universe as Pushing Buttons - The Hardest Button to Button. It's part spam, and part backstory to the tragic lives of the Mario siblings; this time with less twerking.

Come Dine With Me
This is the first story that I've written on request since Doug's Happy Adventures, and boy does it show. This fucking feels weird. How the hell do I write this shit? Like seriously, I'm out of my element here! I'll try my best to make this more tolerable in the future, fateful readers.

Respect the Pouch
This is another story made by my friend bug. It's all about Canada's Favourite Fruit Drink, A.K.A. Capri Sun, and what happens when one does not respect the pouch. Contains absolutely zero percent Travis foot bathing porn or Gayfred Fagfur the Alt-Right CIA MK-ULTRA Fuccboi Puppet.

Bud Gets Castrated
This was made due to Everyone's Favourite Fanfiction Author officially falling back into his kiddy bathing smut story writing ways, recently. It's Travis-verse spam so expect the usual of course in matter of fact in fact as a matter of fact.

Luigi and the Kuru Disease
I made this after being inspired by this one Mario fanfic that I've read, where Luigi goes around beating people to death due to grade school level bullying and listens to Evanescence. He even eats someone's brains after he kills them at one point. He's a fucking psychopathic cannibal fueled by Hot Topic!

How old is Ushio supposed to be?
This story is all about the weird, almost-vagueness of Ushio's approximate age, depicted through a spammy, fun-filled adventure of sexual abuse, criminal ambition, Oral Roberts, and sick fucks just like him. This story also shows that I keep relating Ushio to Elvira, Miss Hannah Minx, and Emily Youcis, for some goddamned reason . . .

Donald Trump's Second Bat-tacular Motorcycle Exhibitionist Adventure!
This is one of my recent, post-2016 spam stories that I've been shittilin' with that I have deemed fit to see the light of day, and it's all about the fat ass Jesuit-trained faggot known as Donald Trump; complete with a spiffy Batman costume! Because Donald cosplaying as Batman is totally the reason that you wanted to read this story, right?

Crab Collection
A sharty spam story for a sharty spam age, amidst all the people falling for the psychopaths at home. It begins and ends with collecting crabs. Demonic rottweilers may or may not be involved.

Ushio Goes to The Smut Cave and Gets Grounded
Despite the title, this has absolutely nothing to do with the "Caillou gets grounded" phenomenon. This is just a short ass spam/brain vomit that I gave birth to recently as of January of 2020 that I have decided fit to see the light of day. I actually can't stand Emily Youcis these days, since she's a known shill who supports and spews talking points approved by Illuminati child murderers and tyrants while getting paid to do so. I'm dead serious about this, just look at the story icon; the stupid bitch is throwing up a pyramid sign just like so many other talking heads, politicians, world leaders, and Hollywood actors that are involved in the global crime syndicate have. Just look it up if you don't believe me, there's a helluva lot of examples out there. Loads of them.

AAAAAAnnd The Reviews Are In!
Choice quotes from the bewildered masses and fans alike

"What the fuck"

"were you high when you wrote this? sky high XD"

"fuck off I just ate taco bell"

"Oh my god. Literal ass hat. XD I wouldn't be surprised if SpongeBob actually tried that once or twice. Who else but SpongeBob would even think of doing such a thing? :P"

"I am Megan. (I am not Megan.) I diarrhea’d hard all over myself. I demand more. More diarrhea. Chicka-pa-ka, chicka-pa-kichi-kit, tahhh!"

"Holy... shiitake. That was insane. I'm not sure if in a good way or not : /"

"Why do you write stuff like this? Is it for the attention? I'm not trolling you. I just want to know."

"I encourage you to delete the guest review from Lisa Ware-Krantz as it contains real personal information that shouldn't be freely available. I hate to think the woman is getting real calls from this."

"Fully erect. Good job, mang."

"Did you collaborate on this with Adolf Hitler and his nazi buddies? Because this fanfic is beyond what words can describe. Alfred's internal monologue is very inspiring to murderers, the descriptions of burrito bell's bathroom are top notch, and best of all, I became a furry. thank you for giving us what we didn't know we really needed."

"Every day we stray further from God's light."

"dude are you okay? I think you're finally turning into travis..."

"Will Mr. Anderson finally open his heart to meat? Will Beavis and Butthead ever get blowjobs from Alfred’s mother in hell? Will Alfred stop lactategate and get the filthy lizards at Viacom to keep their hands off our boys’ man-maries? What happened to our fucking deal? Innit a shame? I must know. I. Must. Know."

"I wrote a story called Mario Strokes His Wee Wee in honor of fine folks like yourself. Go read it."

"This was agood fic but you made a mistake sausage dog should be capitallized like this: sausage doG because doG is GOD backswards and therefor must be capitallzed orotherwise you might not go to heave ..."

"You fucc"

"idk whether to laugh or be horrified"

"I know it sounds really weird but I would like if you could do vehicles (cars, trucks,etc.) I came up with mating. The tailpipe is the genital part & the fog lights are the breasts."

"This is a spectacular fiction. Your writing style really holds the ol' interest. I can tell you have a Terry heart deep inside you, a blessing that only few can truly have. The characterization of Naruto was impeccable. If the show was more like this, I would have really dug it and channeled a more weaboo side hidden deep in the cackles of my heart."

"Didn't make half sense."

"Damn. That was pretty fucking sexual."

"Torture by fellation with teeth. Yumlicious. 10 out of 1, every time."

"It was a great story! Hentai Man should have had Yaoi Hands though."

"I'm looking forward to the bathing, in fact."

"If you check out my warriors story's and hate them and tell me to make inappropriate story's I will flipping hate all your inappropriate story's and write sour comments"

"Listen. Fanfiction's had a reputation for being raunchy and tasteless since the Internet fucking started. If parents don't know that by now and don't keep track of what their kids have access to then let them suffer for being too fucking stupid to function in a modern society with a crazy, mostly uncensored Internet. Have a nice day. :)"

"noooooo my babyyy whyyyyyyyy"

"Lea e us,alone"

"Wow. Wow man, that was savage AF! I'll tell you, you got bigger balls than I do"

"Bad story"

"Lmao these never get old"

"What the fuck did I just read? Seriously stop writing immediately. You'd be doing the world a favor...honestly..."

"I enjoyed the mockery of Travis’ writing style, particularly his bizarre claim that Bud has an abnormally large penis. I also liked your satire of the alt-right; as a moderate conservative, the alt-right is just as obnoxious as the far left SJWs. Keep up your lit fanfic."

"uhmmm so hot I need to have an abortion now"

"I have no words to describe how the fuck this is k or how the fuck you managed to come up with this but this is just sick"

"Okay. I don't know if this is just some kind of brain fucker or you're serious. But What. The. Hell."

"There are no mistakes. Only happy third nipples and lead based paint."

"Were you drunk when you wrote this?"

"Absolute. Gold. The ridiculousness of this story is so beyond anything I've seen in this community. I loved every minute of it. Way to take a shot at the dude who gives our community a bad name."

"Darfur's stories are way better than yours. If you like Travis so much, go fap to him and his fuck buddies, Ismael and Libby."

"I think Dafur can write much better material then this though..."

"I just read the entirety of this out loud to cornwallace. He asked me if you smoke weed."

"Do you think you could circumcise Backpack Backpack Marsh and maybe remove his wooterus for imprognoting me with his spermfluids in my wooderusbecause mom is very very upset that I got prognan."

"Holy shit-nipples this made me laugh so hard"

"Do you wear clothes when you escape bath time with pedophiles? Sorry, I keep forgetting that these stories are not sexual, of course as a matter of fact."

"If you were living in a real Fourth Reich, you'd all be dead by now. Not ONE display of homosexual behaviour or tendency on ANYONE's part - not even as a joke - would be tolerated by the regime, that I can assure you people."

"This keeps getting better and better. Better as in gayer of course in fact."

"While it's easy to write or object to social issues or discuss inherent problems with our society, the way this story and your earlier one weave it within a narrative of what seems on the surface to be extremely bizzare smutty fanfiction is nothing short of a stroke of genius."

"I love seeing an update to these fics...you parodied Travis’ recent stories perfectly. I can’t believe you even read all of that crap without wanting to kill yourself. "

"It's Richard, not Richard Pryor. And you're actually incredibly racist."

"fuck off 4chan reject"

"fackin top stuff m8. i laughed 'till i pissed meself"

"It’s a Hannah Montana and Caillou crossover called Miley Meets Caillou. I hope you like it."

"Fucking send this to Colgate, please."

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO REVIEW EVERY CHAPTER OF ALL MY STORIES YOU AUTISTIC TRUMP OBSESSED RETARD!"

"That's pretty good"

"dickfart why i was pooping when i read this and it made my poop come out funny"