Once upon a time, god abandoned us. The results were this story.
It returns.
ON WITH THE STORY! B SUR TO R&R BECAUSE IF YOU DO I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND GIVE YOU ORAL SEX AND PROMISE TO BUY YOU THINGS!1111
a phone rings and rings and rings and rings and rings and rings and rings and rings and rings and finally SONIC picks it up.
SONIC: HELLO! THIS IS SONIC! ^-^
AMY: KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ^-^
SONIC: D:
AMY: SONIKKU! IT'S ME AMY! EEEE!
SONIC moves his telephone to his other, due to the fact that he couldn't hear anything, due to the orifice bleeding.
SONIC: Oh, uh. Hi Amy. What?
AMY: I WAS JUST CALLING TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND HOW MUCH I WANT SECKS WITH YOUR HOT BAWWWWDY! :D
SONIC: WAAHHHH! -falls-
AMY: OMG!1111111111 D: ARE YOU OKAY SONIKKU?!
SONIC: What? How did you know I fell?!
AMY: I'M LOOKING THROUGH YOUR WINDOW! :D
SONIC looks out his window to see AMY standing there, talking to her on her pink cell phone. He falls again, and everybody laughs. (that's you, asshole)
SONIC: WAHHHH!
AMY: KEEEEEE! e.e
SONIC: LIKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
AMY: I WANT SECKS!
SONIC: Secks? Well, okay. That's believable. I want secks, too.
AMY: KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :DDDDDDDD
AMY jumps through the window and pounces on SONIC. straddling and groping him, she tears off her cloths without description. then they make secks. hot nasty stinky secks. (it's so hot, that we have to take a break, so we can all 'relieve some stress' :D)
-cue porno music-
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-thud-
SONIC: Amy?
AMY: DX
AMY has fallen to the floor. she is dead, due to suffocation. i didn't think explanation was necessary, but SONIC is an idiot.
SONIC: AMY WAKE UP!
SONIC kneels over to nudge and shake AMY, trying to either wake AMY from the slumber he stupidly thinks she is in, or he is trying to wake himself from his own denial. I'm kinda leanin' towards the former, since SONIC is a total fucking retard.
SONIC: OHNOES! AMY FELL ASLEEP AND SHE WON'T WAKE UP!
SONIC runs to the phone, and hurriedly rips it violently off the cradle. He punches in at least nine to eleven keys, and holds the phone up to the ear that isn't bleeding. The phone rings none to eleven times, and finally KNUCKLES answers.
KNUX: Hello? You've reaches the island of KNUCKLES. What's popping, G?
SONIC: Cut the shit, Knuckles. You're not black.
KNUX: Fuck that. On the real, dog. You must be tripping. Word.
SONIC: Whatever, you asshole. I'm calling it in.
KNUX: Calling what in?
SONIC: I'm calling it in, Knux. Calling in the favor. Calling it in, bra.
KNUX: Nigger, please. What the fuck is you tripping about?
SONIC: I'm calling in the favor, dude!
KNUX: What goddamn favor?!
SONIC: What do you mean 'what favor'?! Remember that time your dumb ass got tricked by Robotnik, and I totally saved your fucking precious-
KNUX: Don't call me dumb, you fucking faggot. -hangs up-
SONIC: D:
frantic, SONIC smashes the receiver into the cradle a couple of times, then listens for a dial tone. This time, he dials exactly nine numbers and it rang exactly eleven times. No shit. I counted.
TAILS: HELLO! THIS IS MY HOUSE!
SONIC: -falls-
TAILS: Why did you fall?
SONIC: How did you know I fell?
TAILS: What? Who is this?
SONIC: SONIC
TAILS: SONIKKU! I WANT YOUR SECKS!
SONIC: NOT NOW TAILS!1111one111 I'm calling it in.
TAILS: I hope that means what I think that means.
SONIC: That's right, Tails. I'm calling it in. The favor. I'm calling it in.
TAILS: Awww. Favor? For what? What have you done for me?
SONIC: Oh, I don't know, might have been that I SAVED YOU FROM THOSE ROBOTS THAT MURDERED AND MUTILATED YOUR FUCKING PARENTS! Now get your ass over here, you fucking pillow biter.
TIME PASSES!
(ding-dong!)
SONIC answers the front door. TAILS is standing at the door in a pink skirt, and a yellow blouse. (It is a common misconception that TAILS is a woman. Contrary to this very popular belief, he is indeed a homosexual. And that is disgusting. You see, GOD created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Meaning, it's cool to fuck your sister to populate, and it's also cool to fuck your inbred daughter, provided she is old enough to conceive. But a man must not lay with another man, as a man lays with a lady. To do so would be sinful and wrong. A lady, however, can lay with a lady as she lays with a man, provided it be a public spectacle, and the man who owns the lady hath given her permission. The ladies must also not resemble men, in any way, shape, or form. That would also just be sickening. Amen and praise Jesus. Thank you)
SONIC: It took you long enough!
TAILS: WAHHH! -falls-
SONIC: You doing that makes me want to stop doing that…
TAILS: What?
SONIC: Nothing. Come inside, I guess.
they enter the house.
TAILS: So, what is it you need, Sonikku? Secks?
SONIC: Not yet, my dear boy. No, you see, I was giving my annoying girlfriend secks in the mouth-
TAILS: -licks lips- Yummy…
SONIC: Will you shut the fuck up?
TAILS: Kay. What's Amy doing on the floor?
SONIC: I was getting to that. Okay, so I was giving AMY secks in the mouth, and suddenly she fell asleep. Now she won't wake up.
TAILS: So, what do you need me for?
SONIC: We need to wake her up. We didn't finish the secks.
TAILS: I'd be more than happy to help you finish the secks, if you wanted.
SONIC: Just help me wake her up, TAILS.
TAILS: Did you try shaking her?
SONIC: Yeah.
TAILS: Did you try saying "AMY WAKE UP!"?
SONIC: Yep.
TAILS: Did you try doing both at the same time?
SONIC: Yes.
TAILS: Shit, I don't know what to tell you, baby.
SONIC: Don't call me baby. I am not your baby.
TAILS: I could be yours.
SONIC: You are fucking useless, you know that?
TAILS: No.
SONIC: Well, you are.
TAILS: Water.
SONIC: What?
TAILS: WATER.
SONIC: Yeah, I heard you. What the fuck does that have to do with anything?
TAILS: Poor water on her. That's what my daddy did. Before he was murdered….
SONIC: GOOD IDEA!
SONIC zooms into the kitchen and zooms back out holding a glass of water. he pours it on AMY's dead body. nothing happens, except it, and the carpet getting a little wet.
TAILS: …Amy?
SONIC: AMY?
TAILS: Amy?
SONIC: God damn it! FUCK!
TAILS: Why is your ear bleeding?
SONIC: What?
TAILS: Why is your ear bleeding?
SONIC: What?
TAILS: WHY IS YOUR EAR BLEEDING?
SONIC: What?
TAILS: Nevermind.
TAILS kneels down to feel for her pulse. To his surprise, there isn't one.
TAILS: She's fucking dead, Sonic….
SONIC: WHAT?!
TAILS: SHE'S FUCKING DEAD SONIC!
SONIC: I heard you, god damn it! Why?
TAILS: I don't know. She doesn't seem to have any external damage.
SONIC: Strange.
TAILS: Wait! You said she fell asleep while giving you mouth secks, innit?
SONIC: Yeah. That's when it happened.
TAILS: -GAAASSSP!- It was YOU!
SONIC: What was me?
TAILS: You choked AMY to death with your cock!
SONIC: What? That's stupid.
TAILS: Scroll up, and look closely at the textual illustration. It clearly shows that she died of suffocation because of your… massive-
SONIC: Stop right there. I've heard about enough, really.
TAILS: Well, I haven't! And neither has Princess Sally!
SONIC: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
TAILS: I'm turning you in… unless…
SONIC: Get out of my house.
TAILS: I'm blackmailing you, you idiot.
SONIC: Blackmailing me? For what?
TAILS: Secks, you fool. Filthy secks.
SONIC: Ugh. Alright. But you're helping me bury the body.
TAILS: Deal.
-SECKS-
TAILS: That was fun
SONIC: Yeah, I sure am beat. Better get rid of that body, right?
TAILS: We still have a few hours before sunset. You know what that means…
SONIC: Aw, fuck.
-MOAR SECKS-
SONIC: Okay, let's go dump the stiff, now.
TAILS: You said stiff.
SONIC: HAWW! -falls-
they gather AMY up and take her out to the back and they dig a hole. Once big enough, they lay their shovels to rest as they pick up AMY and throw her dead body into the hole. as SONIC goes to pick the shovel up, TAILS stops him.
TAILS: Woah, there Sonic. Drop the shovel and get back in the hole.
SONIC: What? Why?
TAILS produces a pistol and points it at SONIC.
TAILS: I said get in the hole, baby.
SONIC: I'm not your god damn baby.
TAILS shoots SONIC in the leg and it causes him to fall over into the hole, on top of the dead body.
SONIC: AHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
TAILS: I'm going to kill you.'
SONIC: WHY?! Why in god's name would you do that to me? I thought we had something special!
TAILS: Why? That's easy. For the lulz, babe. I did it all for the lulz.
TAILS empties the clip into SONIC's face and starts laughing crazily. Still laughing, he throws the pistol into the hole, and pulls out his cock and starts to jerk off.
THE END.
DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! KEEEEE!