some more spongebobo fic for river

"babe?" whispered mr krabs, softly caressing his lover's prickly skin with his claw.

"what's up, me boy?" asked mr krabs, a little louder next time. it had been a few minutes since patrick had spoken a word. no, he thought. it had to have been longer.

patrick simply turned his head, looking downcast at the floor. "its just... i havent seen spongebob in so long. when am i gonna see him again. he's my best buddy and i-"

"i know it's tough, me boy" said mr krabs. "but we have to stay here until the bikini bottom anti-sodomy laws are repealed. pearl is doin her best. i promise"

patrick sighed, but turned his head ro face the crab. "youre right. and i do have one thing here that i love"

what? said mr Krab s

"migfbmeatyclaws" said patrick hurriedly

what's that, said mr krabs. his hearing hadnt been so good ltely, and he was worried that this was authorial foreshadowing of his impending doom.

"your big... meaty...claws" breathed patrixk, emphasizing each word. he winked. mr krabs blushed, but u couldnt even see it since his face was so red already,

omg, squaled mr Kwabs

they started making out and suddenly the door burst open

HANDS UP ITS THE BIKIBI BOTTOM POLICE!!! said the police

OH NO!

are u guys having...sex? asked the officer

"no sir... we were justbuhhh...hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

can i get a cheeseburger?

yummy? he said

i love u beby, said mr kwaerabs

I LOVE U SO MUCH

mr krabs jumped in front of oatrick just as the cops opened fire in an act of homophobia and racism

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cried patrick, running towards the krab's now cracked shell

chill the fuck out dude im only playin... said krabs

EUGENE!!!! said patrick, tears burning up his eyes. they slid off his cheeks fast and hot, creatung puddles on eugenes bloody chest.

"bruh wtf fude no homo" said mr krabs "i aint gay or nothin, i just wanna be friends, k? chill out creepo"

"ocdhit u ritr" said patrick "my b"

krabs died and patrick was like o. fuk

the fuckin end!!!!!!!!!!!!