Fondest Memories, by Doug Funnie

Dear Journal,

Hi, it's me, Bulma. I'm not wearing underwear on the outside today, but I do still have underwear in my name.

Anyway, after my morning coffee, I had to make a quick pit stop before starting my day. I went into the bathroom, combed my hair, did my makeup, and sat to go pee. It was all very normal.

What was also normal, but only for me, is my deepest, darkest secret. If you're reading this, Trunks, you're grounded, because this is mommy's very private journal (IT'S NOT A FUCKING DIARY YOU COCKASS CUNT WARTS.) Anyway, my secret? I have to stand when I go poop. I got to my feet, freed dem tiddys from the confines of my satin dress, and out ripped a big, brown turd from my chest butt. It felt great, until HE showed up!

At that exact moment, Goku instant-transmissioned into my bathroom. Of all the nerve! I screamed and threw my shit at him.

"Hi Bulma!" said Goku, like he didn't care. Of course he fucking didn't. Prick. Then he said: "Haha, I knew you had a butt on your chest."

"GOKU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE," screamed I. Then I pulled out a grenade launcher and started firing at Goku. He just laughed.

Then Vegetamable showed up.

"Why the fuck are you here, Kakamarottt?" said Berginia, all mad like.

"Oh, don't worry, Vegeta. I'm not interested in your wife's shitting chest. Or am I?" He was, of course. My shitting chest is hot and you know it.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, COCK-A-ROTTO!" said Vegetobama. He kicked dat fine Goku ass. Goku laugh, then went on to have teh sex with Shrek. And then Quailman showed up and used his quail powers to quail at all the quails, because he heard you liked Quailman, so he put a Quailman in your Quailman, so you can Quailman while you Quailman. And then everyone died for the 23494859823746523459th time, because it's DBZ and all.

The End

This fic is dedicated fondly to ALL OF THE ANIMU TIDDY and Doug Funnie's forever aloneness and first world white boy problems.