Friday night, yet another one of her tick baths… I live in downtown Seattle for fuck sake, how in the hell am I ever going to get ticks! As I sat in the revolting water of the tick bath she continued her usual spinning of lies and uncertainty, telling me how everywhere I go I'm always in danger and that I would be dead many times over if it were not for her interventions… Bull shit. All of it.

Midway through her rant she said the unthinkable.

"Freddie, I'm removing you from school"

"What!?" I exclaimed as loud as I could

"Freddie keep your voice down!" she responded. "It's for your best interest. There are all sorts of dangers in that school, and I can't be there all the time to protect you. So for your well being, I'm home schooling you" 'No she fucking didn't' was all I could think.

"What dangers?" I challenged her

"We don't know how many of your teachers could be pedophiles, your gym coach Mr. Hanson, I'm sure he is one."

"How can you be "sure" of that?"

"I see him watch you boys and it worries me"

"He is our coach, he has to watch us to make sure we are-" Before I could finish the sentence she said

"What about all the minorities? The yellow people have SARS and Avian Flu, the Jews will con you out of your money, and the blacks will beat you up for being superior to their people"

"What minorities? We live in Seattle, we have the diversity of a corn field" I knew I got her with that one. She stood there speechless; she knew she couldn't win that argument.

"What about your whore Carly?"

"What the FUCK did you just say!?"

"Freddie watch your mouth! I see her in the halls flirting with all the boys; I bet there's not a cock in the entire building that she hasn't jammed inside her. If you spend any more time with her I'm sure you'll catch one of her many filthy STDs."

After those blasphemous comments poured from her mouth, all I could see was red. I felt weightless, time seemed to slow down as if God hit pause on the remote control of the universe.

Then it happened… I jumped up, grabbed her by her hair, and smashed her face into the bathtub faucet. The hollow pipes vibrated from the powerful impact and produced a harmonious ringing sound. I thought I would stop after one hit but I didn't, I had to make her pay not only for those vile lies about Carly but also for the past 15 years she has made my life hell. I smashed her face again and again into the faucet and the ring of the pipes got louder and louder until I finally finished. I didn't stop because I had had enough or that I thought she had learned her lesson, I stopped because her head ripped the steel faucet off the wall.

"What have I done" I said to myself softly as I surveyed the entirety of my actions.

"Freedom" I responded to myself.

"I'm finally free" and it was true. No more over bearing protective bullshit to slow my life down, I was finally, truly free; and it was wonderful.