DISCLAIMER

Okay, so you guys know Bikini Bottom is based off of Bikini Atoll, right? Well, since Bikini Bottom is a city, and Bikini Atoll is an island in a series of islands called the Marshall Islands, then Bikini Bottom is now a city in the Union of Marshall Islands. And the Union is in a fuckton of debt. Yeah, Sea War One fucked over its economy pretty bad.

2:46pm, NATIONAL SOCIALIST MARSHALLINIAN LABOR PARTY HALL

Squidward stepped up onto the dais, and strode across the stage. He stopped behind the podium, where a long, wiry microphone protruded from the desk. Squidward stalled a moment, waiting for the deafening cries, cheering, and chanting of the audience to fade away. It lasted much longer than Squidward was willing to wait, only further amplifying the ball of molten anger burning unbearably hot in his chest. He grit his teeth, eyes wide and brows furrowed downward hard enough to show veins lacing across his forehead. He raised a balled-up fist high into the air and slammed it down onto the podium hard enough to make the microphone tremble.

"Gentlefolk! Lads and lasses! All the valiant, courageous men and women who are willing enough to shed the opposition's blood as well as their own, sieg heil!" he yelled. Squidward whipped his right hand into the air, saluting, the audience following. Thousands upon thousands of citizens rising their hands and saluting their cause.

Squidward cleared his throat. "Today, we stand in remembrance for the one-year-anniversary since the gutting conclusion of Sea War One! Anyone of logical and sensible mind knows that this so-called Treaty of Utirik was not only a device for the castration of all those who loved their country, who loved the wonderful, wonderful Union! It was a device to neutralize and subsequently dissolve the Union, this great, great Union. Look at us—are we dissolved?"

Squidward tugged at the collar of his militaristic uniform, one of his lapels shone with a reflective metal anchor embroidered into the fabric. The Iron Anchor, a now-defunct badge of those who served valiantly in the Imperial Marshallinian Army.

"We refuse to be dissolved! WE SHALL NEVER BE DISSOLVED! NEVER—NEVER EVERY IN A THOUSAND CENTURIES WILL THE WILL, AND THE MIGHT, AND THE COURAGE, AND THE VIRTUOSITY, AND THE DILIGENCE OF OUR NATION EVER CEASE TO LIVE ON! WE MUST—WE MUST—SECURE THE FUTURE FOR THE KINDRED OF THE SCALES, AND A FUTURE FOR OUR SCALED CHILDREN!"

The crowd erupted, earsplitting cheering and screaming bouncing off the walls of the speaking hall.

"IT'S TIME!" Squidward bellowed. "IT'S TIME TO RECLAIM OUR UNION! TO ABOLISH THIS WEAK, DISGUSTING, DEGRADING REPUBLIC AND REPLACE IT WITH A STRONG, SINGLE-PARTY STATE! FOR US, FOR THE PEOPLE, AND FOR THOSE WE SHALL REPLENISH AND PRAISE!"