hello people!

Name: Animerockchic

Nicknames?: C.G. Cici

Age: Well...I'm old enough to learn how to drive a bike or a tractor

Country: Ireland :)

Appearance: Dark hair, glasses, short, very freckly but pale as hell underneath the freckles :)

Describe yourself using characters or memes: Romano with a bit of Spain airheadedness mostly and le Hungary fangirlness. Tamaki when I get dramatic. Canada in crowds. Can run like Italy in retreat :) And all this mixed in with a LOT of Socially Awkward Penguin. And Haters Gonna Hate :)

What kind of writer are you?: I don't describe a lot. I leave it up to the reader to imagine surroundings and stuff. I talk strangely so my dialogue can sound odd. I like to do song fics or parodies like "Lovino and the Conquistador" was one of Beauty and the Beast. I'm usually an irregular updater but I do sometimes get things up on time :)

I do try to repsond to reviews, but I am fairly lazy. I might answer twice by accident so sorry if I spam your inbox (: Even if I don't get around to responding, I still feel soooooooo thankful for them. :)

You don't have to read all this crap down here, so if you want my stories just skip to the bottom, kay? =.=

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing, who can express herself better with words than with actions, and knows the importance of the little things.

The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy.
The one who reads and writes to escape.
The one who just wants to help.
The one that just wants to make a difference.
The one that doesn't look at race or sexuality.
The one that cries when she feels alone or helpless; it only shows that she's strong.
The one that knows she's beautiful, no matter what others say.
The one that refuses to believe that this is it.
The one that doesn't care if she eats too many cinnamon buns...they taste good.
The one that people like because she's crazy.
The one that will do anything to make people feel better.
The one who won't give in.
The one who won't give up.

Do Not Slander Pairings Thou Does Not Like.
For The Fangirls Will Find Thee.
And Then, Thou Art Doomed.
And Fangirls, They Art The Most Bloodthristy Creatures On Earth When Their Fandom Is Threatened.

You are a Romantic Seme!

A true romantic, you're safest sticking with a partner who is gentle and can appreciate your mature, loving ways and protective nature. Most often found with a handful of roses and wine, you are committed to your partner and their happiness, which makes you a perfect match for the Innocent Uke, who you will dedicate yourself to and lavish with gifts and attention.

Most compatible with: Innocent Uke, Clueless Uke
Least compatible with: Badass Uke, Dramatic Uke

You're obsessed with Hetalia when-

1. You start laughing hysterically at maps
2. You go "Aww" when you see two or more flags together
3. You've learned more history (Austria-Hungary Compromise, WWII) from it than from an actual history class.
4. You debate about details like whether the number on America's back is supposed to be 50 or 96...with supporting screenshots
5. You watch APH MADs (Music videos/parodies)
6. You got a Nico Nico Douga account despite not knowing a single word of Japanese so you could watch even more APH MADs.
7. You dress up in a scarf and party hat and sit behind a receptionist's desk for Halloween.
8. World War II starts sounding romantic.
9. Your teacher asks why you put "Alfred F. Jones" as the answer instead of America, and why you drew a small heart and the name "Arthur" beside it.
10. You yell "Yeah, he's the hero!" whenever someone says America.
11. You misread UK as UKE every single time, and have started mispronouncing it in actual conversation.
12. You know every country's flag and location, and people think you must be a huge history nerd, and really, you've become one.
13. You shudder every time you hear the name "Russia" or "Ivan" and quickly glance over your shoulder...just in case.
14.Whenever you see a fellow Hetalia fan, you shout, "Pastaaaaaaaaa!!" down the hallway.
15. You write down your favorite pairings all over your history lecture notes, leaving others to wonder what "FrUK" means. (So old...)
16. You end every sentence with "aru".
17. You scream 'paaaaaaaaaastaaaaaaaaaaa' every time you happen to have some.
18. You can't imagine a functioning Italian mafia.
19. You want Prussia back on the map.
20. You can no longer say "international affairs" with a straight face.
21. No one can mention a country without you thinking about what they look like in Hetalia.
22. You read a historical book and think it would make a good fanfic.
23. Other people don't get it when you say your country's cute.
24. You've listened to Romano's Delicious Tomato Song like...80s billion time.
25. You're a duke/duchess of Sealand.
26. You've become a thousand times more patriotic.
27. You remember Canada Day BEFORE the 4th of July, as in, you completely forget about America's birthday. (and you're American)
28. You want to learn every single language in the world. Even the weird ones.
28. You recognize which flag belongs to which country, while everyone just looks at you funny.
29. Everyone who's named Alfred, Arthur, Peter, Matthew, and Francis is forever linked to Hetalia.

Signs of FanFiction

1. You can't even remember how you found this site.

2. You've become a fangirl over the stories on here.

3. Comments are now only heard as 'Reviews'.

4. You get confused between the 'Fiction' and the actual story line.

5. You start to become antisocial from staying in and reading.

6. You've thought about contacts... They WILL help, won't they?

7. Dying your hair a crazy colour doesn't sound AS bad now.

8. You have a playlist of songs you listen to every time you write or read.

9. You'll laugh at any random time, because you just suddenly remembered a funny line from a Fic.

And the most dangerous sign of FanFection...

10. You WILL copy and paste this, but try to find a sign that doesn't apply to you while reading.

Now, once copy and pasted into your profile, add your name to the list! Because then everyone'll know you've been FanFected!: Vampgal212, Verdigurl, animerockchic

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF! We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), DGMSilverAirHead03(USA), Crystal Amethyst (Armenia), InoueR0xO (Pakistan), poohxebony (USA), DreamingInThePast (Spain), loves2readandwrite (USA), SeaDevil (Sweden), Vampgal212 (U.K.), Verdigurl ( New Zealand), Animerockchic (Republic of Ireland)

You know you’re a SasuNaru fan when:

You think about SasuNaru 24/7;
You dream about SasuNaru all the time;
You try to throw stuff at Sakura, when she try’s to ask Sasuke out;
You squeal whenever you watch episode 202 and see that the number one favorite fight was between ur two favorite bishounen;
You almost fainted when Sasuke leaned over Naruto after the Valley of End…uh ended;
You go aww whenever Sasuke and Naruto have another one of their lover’s quarrels;
You hate having to wait for the fillers to be over; (where the hell is the timeskip!)
You pray with a little hope that Masashi Kishimoto would add some more SasuNaru hints in the timeskip;
Everyday u sit at the computer hoping that an idea for an great SasuNaru story would hit u soon;
You think that people that like couples such as SasuSaku, SasuKarin (shudder) and some others that are not SasuNaru XP should all go to the most horrible place in the world, hell for example;
You know that one day SasuNaru would rule the world!;
You love reading this reader’s profile (lol..);
You pray that somehow and someway Sakura would die somewhere along the timeskip;
You get mad every time Hinata trys to make a move on Naruto (yet you think its cute cuz Sasuke get jealous); (Shannaro!)
You wait for SasuxNaruislove to post new doujinshi’s;
You search deviantart more for SasuNaru then any other thing;
You decide that typing this up would help people understand why you love SasuNaru so much;
Your favorite colors are blue and orange (they are complimentary);
You feel like you wanna punch Sakura for even thinking about the word Sasuke;
You just wanna go and hug the little adorable Naru-chan and tell him he and Sasuke are so kawaii together;
SasuNaru is your Anti-drug;
You talk about it all the time and ur friends have no idea what SasuNaru is; (phew!)
You once tried to start a club at school; (and it didn't work out..)
Whenever you hear the word “sauce” you add a “sue nah roo” to the end and then shout "SASUNARU!" XDDDD;
You almost break your computer after watching the episode where Sakura “touches” Sasuke to calm him down after using the Sharingan with the cursed mark;
You were just about to explode when Sasuke left Naruto alone at the Valley of End (did you cheat on him bastard! XD);
You cried at the flashbacks they played while at the Valley of End (grabs a tissue);
You like reading this long list and find it mildly amusing;
You have written/read 5 or more stories about them (guilty as charged);
You ignore other pairings and focus more on the “obsession”;
You put 20 or more pictures on your ipod for later purposes
You try to convince some of your close friends to like it; (sighs)
You wonder what your mom and dad would say if they found out what “it” was;
You sigh as this list ends XD
You were also screaming at Konohamuru in chapter 347 (page 10)
and You were awwing when Naruto dispelled the jutsu (jealous much?)
You replayed the credits ending to Shippuuden 65 over and over until your fingers cramped...then kept going anyway XD

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, Anita Tseu, Strawberrychan1, darkvampire66, animerockchic

SasuNaru or SasuSaku?

Sasuke is always thinking of Naruto- Sakura always bugs Sasuke

Sasuke always wants to prove himself to Naruto, and vice versa - Sakura is always ignored by Sasuke

Sasuke talks to Naruto the most, out of everyone- He rarely speaks to Sakura

Sasuke and Naruto have saved each other's lives on several occasions - Sasuke saved Sakura- ONCE

When Sasuke was leaving Konoha, Naruto tried to stop him (and very, very almost succeeded)- He listened to Sakura for about three minutes, called her annoying, said thank you for some unfathomable reason (considering all she did was bitch, whine 'Sasuke-kun!', and get in the way of everything), knocked her out... and carried on.

Sasuke and Naruto were friends when they were younger (possibly MORE than friends...They HELD HANDS x3) - Sakura never even spoke to Sasuke

Naruto draws out strong emotions in Sasuke: love, guilt, he just touches him inside - The only emotions Sakura draws out from him is annoyance and a strong urge to kill.

Sasuke and Naruto's relationship is the most developed in the whole show. The whole show FOCUSES on their relationship- Sakura and Sasuke are just.. stuck together. There's no positive relationship. Sakura doesn't even like him in Part II

Lastly, there's an interview somewhere on the web, in which Kishimoto states that Naruto and Sakura are rivals. (For Sasuke's love) Seeing as Sasuke likes Naruto, and HATES Sakura.. I'm pretty sure it's obvious who will win Sasuke's heart.

Copy and Paste if you think SasuNaru should always prevail XD

Copy and paste this into your profile if when you were young...
There were only 150 Pokemon.
Digimon was popular.
Yugi-Oh actually had Yugi in it.
You didn't get weird looks when you went Trick-or-Treating.
Nobody cared what you looked like.
Hamtaro ROCKED.
Catching a pidgeon was cool.
Pirates before Pirates of the Carribean.
Nobody knew how to spell 'Volcano'.
Pinky and the brain were cartoon characters, not body parts.
Saying 'moron' was a swear word.
Fire was considered dangerous.
The only thing you had to worry about were cooties.
Cursive writing was just a bunch of swirly lines.
Multiplication was scary.
Dora the Explorer and that goddamned monkey who follows her EVERYWHERE didn't exist.
The first Harry Potter was the coolest thing since sliced bread.
If you were, copy and paste then write your name.
Catemonster, Angel Dumott Schunard Collins, Palinana, Kaz-za-15, Taijiya Mizu, DarkBombayAngel, Schizzar, Ruka-x3, mu149, animerockchic

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slipped on ice, gotten up only to slip again, copy this into your profile.

If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.

If you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy and past this on your profile.

IF YOU HAVE BEEN ON YOUTUBE FOR MORE THAN 5 HOURS PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you eat carbs and are proud, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are an America/England fan, copy and paste this onto your profile.

No one's perfect. If you know and like that you're not perfect, Copy this to your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile

If you support the "Germany-Is-Holy Roman Empire-All-Grown-Up" theory, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are an Axis Powers Hetalia fan, copy this onto your profile!

I saw this on some one else's profile and decided to try it.

RULES: Put your Ipod on shuffle, then ask a question whatever song you get is the answer and you have to write it down no matter how silly.

1. Will I be happy for the week? Over the Rainbow (Yay! :3)

2.What song will I play at my wedding? We've got the World by Mickey Harte (...oddly fitting)

3. What song will I play at my funeral? Bitter Taste by Three Days Grace ("I have escaped the bitter taste of you!" ...okay?)

4.Will I ever get guitar lessons? Caramelldansen (Speedy cake remix) by Caramell

5.What is the one thing every girl wants to hear from a guy? Closer by Joe Inoue

6.If I was a banana what would my name be? Savages (Part 2) from Pocahontas (...again, okay?)

7. Will my friend ever get over her stupid ex? I'd Lie by Taylor Swift

8.Why do people I know fight over team Gale and team Peeta like team Edward and team Jacob? Alone in the Universe from Seussical (*forever alone face*)

9. what would happen if Voldemort was Justin Beiber? Follow the Yellow Brick Road from The Wizard of Oz (...?)

10. what would be a good question to ask you? Resting with Japan from the Counting Sheep CD (oh yes please! :3)

If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile

I prefer solitude over company. Copy and paste this in your profile you have the same feeling.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. (who are they talking to?)

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you think Anime guys are sexier than real-life guys, copy/paste this onto your profile!!

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

if you think that pocky is made out of awesomeness, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your pro.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever forgotten what you were going to say copy this onto your profile

PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE- if you have ever listened to music in another language, and sung along having no IDEA what they are SAYING and PROUD OF IT

If you've ever talked to yourself copy this onto your profile

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

If you have ever gotten hit in the face with a ball and then started to laugh your ass off, put this on your profile.

If you have ever tried to laugh evilly like Light Yagami, copy and paste this to your profile!

If you get inspired to write at random moments through the day put this on your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. Anime, video games, cartoons, comics, you name it...

If you have awesome friends who are scary when they're mad put this in your profile.

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

Weird & Crazy is good. Strange & Wacked is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird & Crazy is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird & Crazy is good! If you are weird or Crzzy (maby both) and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a point in time where you disappeared from the fan fiction world completely for more than a week, put this in your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have no problem with OCs and have no idea why other people don't like them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If you have a lot of fanfic ideas in your head but are unable to bring yourself to write them, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are extremely bored, put your name on the list!: Mr. Pichu, Clear Blue, Mitsuki Horenake, animerockchic

If you think fanfic is awesome and IF you find to right stories, put your name on this list: Mr. Pichu, Clear Blue, Mitsuki Horenake, Animerockchic

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you approve of gay-marrigaes put this on your profile and add your name to the list. Gaara's-pandachan101, art-is-a-BANG-2-hard-to-resist, Lee-All-The-Way, Starchip13, 191026, Abzan342, Zanaso Rymm2, jotepaine, Grace Raven, Mitsuki Horenake, animerockchic

If you have a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character. Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile. (or Geek)

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them. You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else. You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings. You shalt avoid them if you hate them. You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing. You shalt paste this in your profile.

If there are times when you just want to annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile.

Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, copy this into your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you aren't, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have been hit in the face by every ball known to man, copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile.

If you've gotten so completly zoned out of a converstation that you don't even remember what you were talking about copy and paste this in your profile.

If you ever got zoned out for more than five minutes copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are bored copy and paste this in your profile.

If you agree that 90 percent of politics are dumb, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wanna WHACK the Cartoon Network people for canceling Teen Titans, COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE!!

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your prof

If you think cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are in the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

f you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

5 things I hate about the world...

People who are willing to get up and look for the remote all over the damn house when they could get up and change the channel.

People who write stupid-humour with OOC for their boredom-killing fics. Don't mind seeing it on TV, but give it in a fic and you'd better learn to sleep with your eyes open.

People who say that it's always in the last place you look, as in it's always hard to find it. WTF?? Of course you'd find it in the last place you look? Which idiot keeps looking after they find it?!

If something is new and improved. If it's new, then you wouldn't have a chance to improve it, cause it just came out. If it's improved, then it has already been created in one form, so it can't be new.

When people stand by the bus stop and ask you , "Has the bus come yet?" No. The bus came. I was standing here for three hours waiting for the bus, and it came. If it came, would I still be standing here?

If you hate any of these 5 things, copy it and paste it into your profile

you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. LOL ...

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile. Someone help me with that ...

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good.
If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.

If you agree that Naruto's stomach is a bottemless pit of doom copy and paste this on your profile

Signs You're a Naruto Fanatic:
When you're mad at siblings/friends, you yell "Rasengan!!" or "Chidori!!" or "Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms!!" and proceed to tackle them.
Your siblings/friends actually know what you're talking about.
You get mad at characters from the show and randomly shout "Sasuke, noooooo!!" etc. while watching.
You yell "Tobi is a good boy!!" at random times of the day.
When you see an anime character, you don't think of their weird looks first.
You know that Haku is a boy.
IF ANY OF THESE APPLY TO YOU, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE PAGE!!

If one part of you is calm and the other part like to stand on your head and sing theme songs, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you don't take everything seriously, post this in your profile.

If you know someone who should be hit by a bus copy this onto your profile (hell yeah)

Put this on your
page if you love
Naruto!

98% of teenagers would panic if Hannah Montana threatened to jump off a 50 foot building copy and paste if you are one of the 2% who would bring a chair, popcorn and yell "JUMP BITCH JUMP!!!!!"

You say Jonas Brothers-I say Iron Maiden
You say Soulja Boy-I say Slipknot
You say Miley Cyrus-I say Adam Gontier
You say T-Pain-I say Apocalypitica
You say Flowers-I say Skulls
You say Pink-I say Black
You say Hip Hop-i say shut the fuck up
You say Pop-I scream Heavy Metal!!!!!
92% of teenagers have turned to Hip Hop and Pop.If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music, copy and paste this message to your profile.
DON'T LET THE SPIRIT OF ROCK DIE!!!

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Friends

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS:Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story with direct quotes from you.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS:Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS:Will confort you when the guy/girl rejects you
BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him/her and say 'its becuase your straight/gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this crappp!

Put the statements in BOLD if it completely applies to you. UNDERLINE if it only partially applies to you or you do it sometimes.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. (Wanna be 'emos' make me gag, and I don't like the term emo in the first place, it's a style and a way of expressing yourself, not a fucking stereotype and the reason it became that is bcs of the wanna be emos, and people who DO cut themselves have some serious issues and should not be made fun of)
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. (Assholes...)
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. (to tell you the truth, idk if i am or not. people tell me that but i have some trust issues =P)
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy. (I am crazy though .)
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. (it all depends on what i doodle, manga-esque people, ok. anything else, looks crap)
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (I would be if I can actually STALK the guys I like XP)
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.( who said you can't like reading and socializing at the same time?)
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with the government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. (does flying pose)
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED( huh?)
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST need converting.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue

I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a drinking problem

I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.

I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.

I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring.

I am BLACK so I MUST believe Jesus wuz a brotha
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist.

I'm NOT RELIGIOUS so I MUST be treated like crap until I pray to your god.

I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports.

I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends

I am BLACK, so I MUST love watermelons

I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at work

I'm a MUSLIM so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I don't DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things. Omg i would LOVE to do this stuff XD

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Naruto (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Neji Hyuga or Itachi Uchiha is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders with doodles/love notes/confessions of love/any other Naruto related thing you can think of about Naruto or the Naruto characters. Crazy is when you can open up Naruto and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you have OSD (Obsessive Sasuke Disorder). Crazy is if you cry when the bad guys die. Crazy is when you stare at a total stranger for a long time and tell them to stop staring at you. Crazy is when you can quote any random bit of Naruto, word perfect. Crazy is when you replayed Gai giving Kakashi a piggyback until your finger hurt,...and kept going. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

I respect the 10 rules of anime :
1) Thou shall not judge a new anime based on its title. Look at Bleach…
2) Thou shall not judge an anime based on its opening theme.
3) Thou shall not judge based on its random misuse of English (because at least they’re trying).
4) Not by said anime’s opening theme song’s random misuse of English.
5) Thou shall not judge a new anime based on its first episode. It’s call the bait-and-switch people, be aware of it.
6) Thou shall not judge based on the fan girls.
7) Thou shall not steal new anime from the Internet….unless thou intends to share with thine anime club.
8) Thou shall accept that gravity is optional. Especially when dealing with hair.
9) Thou shall not say the manga was better unless thou hath read the manga.
10) Thou shall forgive thy parent’s for calling anime “cartoons,” and thus grouping Spike Spiegal, Naruto Uzumaki and Light Yagami with Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny and SpongeBob Squarepants.

Ninja Ordinance:
1: Although it is scary, I am not allowed to dress up as Orochimaru for Halloween. (damn .)
2: I am no longer allowed to dare Hinata to look into the men's bath house. (changed from original cuz I'm a girl)
3: When in battle, I will not ask my opponent to do the hokie pokie.
4: The academy students are not moving targets.
5: I am not to steal Hokage-sama's sake because she'll flick me through a wall.

Effective Ways On How To Annoy/Scare/Weird Out The Living Daylights Outta People (on elevators, in computer labs, etc.):
1. Repeat everything the person says in a question.
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World." incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally.
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say, "I wonder what all these do." and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Ask every passenger that goes up if you can press the button for them.
26. Log on to a computer, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
27. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
28. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
29. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
30. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
31. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
32. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
33. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, and then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
34. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
35. Send e-mails constantly to the person next to you.
36. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
37. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
38. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
39. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
40. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
41. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
42. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
43. Swat at flies that don't exist.
44. Dance, while drumming noisily against the walls.

15 Things to do when you’re in Walmart!:
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "We have a Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

Read this
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

Joke #1
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

Joke #2

Four guys were out golfing and one guy hit his ball out into the rough. He goes to look for it. The other three start to talk about their sons. The first guy says, "My sons' a doctor and he's doing so well that he's taking someone to Europe." The next guy said, "Well my son is a car salesman and he's doing so well, that he gave a car to someone." The third guy says, "Well my sons' a contractor and he's doing so well, that he built someone a house for free." The forth guy comes back and the others ask him what's going on with his son. He says, "Well he's gay." And the others say, "Oh, we're really sorry." The guy says, "Oh no, we're not upset. We're glad he feels comforable enough to tell us and besides, one guy gave him a free car, one guy built him a house, and another ones' taking him to Europe."

Fav. Random Shit:
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
'American Idol' made it famous...the radio made it annoying!
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!
Bookstores are the only evidence that people are still thinking.
RENTHEADS ROCK!

Copy and Pastes:
IF YOU HAVE EVER HAD THE SUDDEN DESIRE TO OWN A TAZER...
If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...
If you have deja vu a lot…
If you probably have a body in your closet…
If you have an MP3 and love rocking out to it…
If you would kill to have wings…
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.
If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”…
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer…
If you're random and proud of it…
If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...
If people think you are mentally insane...
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation…
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one…
If you have your own little world…
If you've ever talked to yourself…
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination…
If you and your friend break out into song in a public area…
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it…
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water…
If you haven't died yet…
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?"…
If you've ever attempted alchemy by clapping your hands, snapping your fingers or drawing an array...
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it...
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason...
If you've ever spun around in a chair and gone, "WEEEEE,"...
If your a Yaoi fangirl and proud of it...
If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects...
If you ever stared at someone for a really long time for no reason...
If your family wonders how u can remember all the naruto character's names...

When life gives you lemons... MAKE YAOI!!

Computer Related:
My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features.
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
Press ALT F4, it’s really fun!

Questions:
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Pick-up Lines:
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!
7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason!

10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

People Random:
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head. Pass it on...
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. (Sasuke's all three)
The few people who would die laughing if the newest fashion was not breathing are brilliant
Good friends give you a ride. Close friends buy you a car. Best friends are the getting-away-from-the-scene-of-the-crime driver.
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public
Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.
Guns don't kill people. I do.
"People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual."
"When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kinda wanted to be a VAMPIRE."
my imaginary friend doesn't like you either
i hate it wen the voices argue wit my imaginary friends
Smile. It confuses people.
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?

Random:
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
How can I think outside of the box, if they won't let me out of it?
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick.
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that's weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime."

All the good me are either gay, taken or a fictional character...Sasuke's all three. XP
Being normal is overrated.
Never hide the bodies in the same place, your closet gets full after a while.
"I'll hold it and you light the fuse."
"So, you're a cannibal."
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
"When all else fails blow shit up."
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow
"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.
Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.
Killing gnomes with sporks!
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
Checking away messages. It's like stalking, but no one knows you are doing it. I even have people's names on my buddy list that I don't know, but I hear they have really good away messages. Some people really put their all into away messages. There are the people who document their every move: "I am taking a shower, but when I get out, I am going to pee, shave, and then iron my pants. Call me if you need me before I go to the mall at 2pm." Then there's the creative one: "I am away from my computer right now." And of course there's that one from the really cool guy: "Yo its friday night, I am drunk, and not sittin up lookin at away messages" Funny how that guy never seems to go idle.
Don't take it personally.. but you smell like an ice cube
Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
A day without sunshine is like... night.
A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"
A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!
Behold the mighty...chihuahua?
Busy polking my neighbor with a spork. shes really old and wrinkly this is fun muahahaha
Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot
Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!
Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
Feeding my pet old person right now...!
Hello. You have reached The Autopsy-profile. If you are already cut open, Press 1.If you are ordering a new body, Press 2.If you are ordering a cut body, Press 3.If you are picking up a body, Press 4.If you chose none of the options above, please stay on the profile. You will soon be tracked down and picked up in a nice cozy black 'sleeping-bag'. Have a nice day and thank you for choosing Autopsy-profile!
I do what cheerios tell me.
I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? Shit. now i'm a sugar bowl
I'm bartending at an AA meeting
I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you!
I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...
I'm out driving with my keys in an electrical outlet...
If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...
Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
yo-yos were invented as a weapon
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before. ;)
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.
Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my freinds, well...We've gone pro.
I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?
Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!
the jacob ppl can be on jacobs side, the edward ppl can be on edwards side but i'm on team emmett!! wat does that mean exactly?? EMMETT IS SEXIER THAN THEM ALL!!
If you see a long tunnel don't go into the light.
I'm afraid to ask.
Blowing up squirrels sure is fun, eh.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Excuse me, what drug are you on.
If you ever stop to wonder if you have insane mental problems, then it's already too late for you. It's sad, but true.
When people don't laugh at our jokes, I don't think of it as a "You had to be there," thing. I think of it as a "You have to be clinically insane like us," thing.
I...I think I'm a dork.
Yes, I am insane, but every now and then I have these horrible periods of boredom where I have to be normal like you.
I know I came into this room for a reason...
We're all going to die...but I got a helmet.
Heavily medicated for your safety.
If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
My day isn't complete until I have freaked out a complete stranger.
Hi, I am a polymorphic alien and I have taken the shape of a Display Icon to have sex with your pupils, and judging by the smile on your face, I can tell that you're enjoying it.
My friends are the type of people that would spend hours trying to drown a gold fish...but I love 'em anyway.
Never piss off a monkey with a sword.
I don't know what my problem is, but I do know its hard to pronounce.
We're all pretty bizarre. Some are just better at showing it.
I'm smiling because they haven't found the bodies yet.
The pen is mightier than the sword; no-one expects you to attack them with a pen.
I could never find another man like you...Hell, half the time I can't even find where I parked the car.
A best friend is someone that will scream, "EWE, NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU IN PUBLIC!!" and not care if everyone thinks you're lesbians.
I'm not short. I'm travel sized for your convenience.
I speak whale.
Knowledge is power and power corrupts. Study hard; be evil.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas...How he got into my pajamas I'll never know...
You have the right to swing first. However, if you choose to swing first, any move you make can and will be used as an excuse to beat the shit out of you. You have the right to have a doctor and a priest present. If you cannot afford a doctor or are not presently attending a church of your choice, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand what I just told you, Asshole??
I once gave up anime; it was the most terrifying weekend of my life.

I will kill you until you DIE from it!!
You are NOT a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are made of the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.
Now come here so I can lick your face.
I am NOT random. I just have many THOUGHTS...Yeah.
Evil Minions; not always as useful as one would hope.
Christianity: the belief that some cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...It makes perfect sense...Yeah.
That's when I started breaking into people's houses. I didn't steal anything, but I did rearrange their furniture.
YOU GAY FAG!! HAHAHA I just called you a happy bundle of sticks!!
Sometimes I mix 'I can't believe its not butter' with butter to make 'I can't believe some of its butter.'
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, "Well, maybe life isn't for everyone."
...not to mention that I went crazy again today.
My favorite thing about eating gummy bears is knowing that they can't fight back when you bite their heads off.
What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if NOBODY ever asks to see them??
Buckle up!! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.
Seeing Sasuke making funny faces amuses me greatly.
...and this is where I kick your ass in a dress!!
Anime: more addicting than watching a monkey on crack.
Anyone home?...No one's home. GOODBYE PANTS!!
This is when we look at each other from across the room and giggle until the teacher looks at us...Then we laugh our heads off.
I really don't mind that people think my group of friends is a cult.
WARNING!!: I have an extremely fucked up sense of humor.
You laugh because I'm a little different; I laugh because I rigged your house with explosives.
Slinky Escalator = Everlasting fun.
You can't make a person love you...You can only stalk them and hope for the best.
I may not look like much, but I'm a pro at pretending to be a ninja.
You know, just once I would like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.
You think you have game?!...Take your pants off.
Beware of women with kunai.
I am the terror that lurks in your bathtub.
Stupid weatherman...Sunny and clear my ass.
Orochimaru! Sasuke's done! Should I turn the oven off?
Look!! -points- A distraction!!
COME BACK HERE YOU YELLOW BELLIED BASTARDS, I'LL GNAW YOUR LEGS OFF!! -Monty Python and the Holy Grail
...Oh, yeah! My daddy kills people in the wine cellar all the time.
Do Not Disturb: Plotting
With a stoplight, Green means Go, Yellow means Slow, and Red means Stop. But with bananas, it's very different. Yellow means Go, Green means Whoa Slow Down, and Red means Where The Heck Did You Get A Red Banana?!
"If you think nobody cares you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
"Oh, good, my dog found the chainsaw." -Lilo (Lilo and Stitch)
Italy: France nii-san, what is intercourse? France: Don’t you know, Ita-chan? It’s what you do with someone you like. So…do you like me? (Hetalia-Axis Powers)
Become one with Russia, da? (Hetalia)
PRUSSIA invades your vital regions! (Hetalia)

"He's huge!" -Margaret
"Quiet...he's going to catch on!" -Margaret
"Does ketchup even go on Gefilte Fish?" -Kelly
"It's been pleasure meeting you, even if you are my least favorite vegetable!" -Sophie (Howl's Moving Castle)
"May all your bacon burn!" -Calcifer (Howl's Moving Castle)
"What with all of us PERVERTS creeping around at night." -Shigure Sohma (Fruits Basket)
When you drink, you get drunk. When you get drunk, you sleep. When you sleep, you commit no sin. So let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
People are like slinkies, basically useless. And yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every last minute of it!!
I'm such a REBEL. I leave a message BEFORE the beep.
Anime banana is happy to see you!

mahng'guh
n. Japanese comics
synonym: CRACK
I wanna be with all my buddies in an old home causing mayhem in our wheel chairs!
I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures!
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.
Kids like us should wear WARNINGS.
Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.
You're a great friend but if the zombies chase us I'm tripping you.
Anime: You will love it 'till the day you die.
I Googled you today and I'm disturbed with what I found.
It's shiny and in video game rules, it's important.
"Howl, she fed me something gross. I feel sick." -Calcifer (Howl's Moving Castle)
"I need something of yours, how about your eyes?" -Calcifer
"Imagine what I could have done with your eyes, Sophie, or your HEART!" -Calcifer
"Which one do you want? You only get one cuz the rest are dirty." -Markel (Howl's Moving Castle)
"Help, help, help. Crazy lady with a shovel." -Calcifer
"One day your gonna get bitched slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it." -Mr. Morgan (10 Things I Hate About You)
I like you Tinklerbell. I think I'll kill you last.
There's two kinds of people in the world, those who have a plan prepared for when the zombies take over the earth, and those who don't... We call those last people, dinner.
Stalkers are like your best friends. They just hide behind trees more.
Kids don't eat your veggies. They may be a handsome prince under a spell.
Okay, here's a joke for you: A monkey and a turtle walk into a bar, I don't remember the rest but your moms a skank.
It's a good thing I love you 'cause if I didn't, I'd call the men in white coats on you.
“I think we broke his brain." -Pam (The Office)
"Green is red." -Frankie
I am on the way to world domination... just let me finish drinking my chocolate milk.
Mr. Garrison: Oh, well, your moms are just upset. They're probably all on their periods or something.
Wendy: whispers to Gregory Tell him that's not cool.
Gregory: Mr. Garrison, Wendy and I think that was a sexist statement.
Mr. Garrison: Well I'm sorry, Wendy, but I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. (South Park)
Toes aren't needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I live there and really don't want to see you everyday.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.
Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
What do you call someone who speaks three languages?
Trilingual
What do you call someone who speaks two languages?
Bilingual
What do you call someone who speaks one language?
American.
"I'll take a chip, and eat it." -Light (Death Note)
Kate: Did you just stick your gum under my coffee table?
Angie: I don't know.
Kate: What do you mean you don't know? You think you're at an Arbys right now?
Angie: You know what? I WISH I was at an Arbys cuz theres better food and cooler people there!
Kate: Did you stick all this gum under here?
Angie: I DON'T KNOW! Maybe you stuck some of it under there!
Kate: Yeah, actually you might be right cuz sometimes when I work a really long day I like to come home and chew a huge wad of bubbilicious gum and stick it under my reclaimed barnwood coffee table!
Angie: Bitch, I don't know your life! (Baby Mama)
"Why does this happen every month? It seems like right about the same time every month, Kyle's mom gets a hair up her ass about something, and I always end up getting screwed by it." -Cartman (South Park)
"I don't know. Putting testicles on the outside seem like a bad idea." -Angela (Bones)
"Oh my God, Watari is Batman!" -Uncle Yo
"Don't provoke the lunatic, alright." -Booth (Bones)
"L, I've caught Mello. But...he escaped." -Near (Death Note)
"If this job is in a well, I don't want it." -Jim (The Office)
"Suck, pull, bang, blow." -my mom
"I just want to be squeezed." -Mr. Clean commercial
"We know how to do it lots of different ways." -Gazzy (MAX 5th book)
"If there are shinigami stupid enough to drop their notebooks in our world, so there might as well be shinigami stupid enough to drop their eyes." -MelloNarrator (Death Note: Another Note)
"Do all boys keep their masterbatory needs in their shoes or is that just particular to you?" -Dr. Brennen (Bones)
"Mexico is in the United States, right?" -Josiline in my APHG class
Jiraiya: "No, it's not true! I'm not just a pervert!"
Nauto: "What!? Yeah right..."
Jiraiya: "I am...A SUPER PERVERT!" (Naruto)
"I appear to be lacking a penis, so either I'm female or wasn't circumcised properly"
"Exactly, how much money did the lord touch him for?" -Booth (Bones)
"Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway" -Elbert Hubbard
"You don't have to be involved, I just want your sperm." -Bones (Bones)
"What the fuck are you doing? Get back in here and put your clothes on this instant!" -Sandra (Death at a Funeral)
"I look better fully clothed." -Zach (Bones)
"Mello, dresses like a transvestite, kills like a dragqueen." -Uncle Yo
"Everyone's dead, so I got bored." -Wrath (FMA)
"Bethany, by any chance does your cat eat jell-o?" -Clark (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
Evil isn't very good at naming their followers.
An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy.
"Hi, I'm dead. What have you accomplished in life?"
Alcohol plus idiot equals drunken idiot. Drunken idiot add morning equals hangover.
Why would I steel something that doesn't involve money...? Wait, that didn't come out right. What I meant to say was 'why would I steal something at all'. I'm a good girl.
"I-I didn't know he did something like that. Is he keeping something in there that he doesn't want us to find." "Well, when you consider the fact that he's 17, it's not that suspicious, really. I've done it numerous times for reason in particular." -Chief Yagami/L (Death Note)
"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" "Yeah...well, I actually left on Sunday with the intention of coming here, but I was swept away into the heart of a dark, urban wilderness. It took me three days to find my way out." "...Why don't you just say you got lost?" -Yuki/Haru (Fruits Basket)
"I used to be a lifeguard until some blue kid got me fired." -Larry the Cable Guy
"Adoption leads to seriel killing." -Kramer (seinfeld)
What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a cat.
"It seems like I was drunk for some reason." -Rock Lee (Naruto)
"Don't worry, you're young. Your butt can take it." -Dean Lewis (Accepted)
We all know sanity is the trademark of a weak mind.
"No animals were harmed in the recording of this episode. We tried but that damn monkey was just too fast." -Stephen Colbert
"Now it seems the crooks charge twenty to thirty thousand dollars for a fake Ferrari body attached to an old Pontiac chassis, and here's how you sniff out a fake: take a pocketknife and scrape off some of the paint on the hood just behind the ornament. If it's a real Ferrari... someone will kick your ass." -Colbert
"An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough." -Colbert
"If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it, my illegal logging business succeeds." -Colbert
“Still alive, baby?” –Jane (Mr. and Mrs. Smith)
"Reep the benefits of my sexual wisdom." -Angela (Bones)
Irony: Falling down the stairs due to distraction by the "watch your step" sign.
Insanity is just a word for "eccentric genius"
Things seem to be so much more fun when you have someone else to enjoy them with. Like going to the movies, or playing a game. Or sex.
I'm not supposed to make sense! That would defeat the purpose of confusing people!
Don't mess with Canadians, we'll shove our igloos down the back of your shirt.
Fate doesn't exist. We're all just pawns in someone else's fanfiction!
Don't piss me off, I turn into a massive ball of fur and sharp pointy things.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Don't steal, the government doesn't like competition.
I say if someone has done something so bad that they deserve the death penalty, forget the lethal injection, I say get creative!
"Why does grandma have a gun?" -Wedding Crashers
Sir Bedevere: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.
King Arthur: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes. -Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"It doesn't matter if it's already dead, you can shoot it again." -Mary Mack
"I wanna put that guy in soup, that's how good he is." -Nigel Lawrence
"I live in America, where if you don't speak Spanish, you'll starve." -Brad Williams
"Hold on, Bones, let's just pretend that I'm the cop for a second." -Booth
"Mega tough old bastard." -Hodgins
Anyone who can only think of only one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination. - Mark Twain
Are you a bad side effect of my medication?
You!... Off my planet!!
Careful or you'll end up in my novel.
I'm not anti-social ... I'm just not user friendly.
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach
When you lose, don't lose the lesson. (And the lesson is: "Vengeance!")
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. (Unless no one knows that you're responsible for it; then it's probably best to lie low and wait for it to blow over.)
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer(, especially if the question is "Any volunteers?")
Friends: help you move a couch
Best Friends: help you move a body
Interestingly, it is revealed in the game Fullmetal Alchemist: Dream Carnival, that Envy enjoys chocolate parfaits. -Wikipedia (i laughed wen i read this XD)
"Spider poisen is people poisen?" -Homer (The Simpsons)
"You think brushing your teeth is foreplay." -Marge (The Simpsons)
"Gai, you just groped me. I'm going to go take a shower and try to scrub my brain clean. Good bye." -Kakashi (Naruto...ff story)
"You can't yell encore when we are still playing. Its like writing your grandmothers obituary when she is still kicking." -Josh Ramsay (lead singer of Mariana's Trench)
”You gave me porn, that means true love.” --Kakashi (Naruto) some ff story
"Hello, would you like a cup of tea while I disembowel you with a rusty dagger?"
"You'll feel like you have a time machine, a DVR, and friends." -Colbert
"I keep secrets from my computer." -Dwight (The Office)
"No, you have to go to bed, daddy's having a breakdown." -Mayor's wife (Horton Hears a Who)
"Put the phone by his mouth and scratch his butt." -Frankie
"When I was your age, television was called books." -Grandfather (The Princess Bride)
"You mean, you'll put down your rock, and I'll put down my sword, and we'll kill each other like civilized people?" -Westley (The Princess Bride)
"I caught myself being racist to myself." -Dave Chappelle
"That's my wife, Jen. We're married...technically." -T-Mobile commercial
"I think Mom's got a second cousin who's an accountant, but we never talk about him." -Ron (Harry Potter 1)
Why is there so much month at the end of the money?
"Smile...your demise isn't today."
"I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Forman grill." -Jim (The Office)
"The older you get, the sooner it ends."
(to the tune of the wheels on the bus)"The woman across the block has nothing on, nothing on, nothing on." -Kramer
"I’m sorry, sir, but our ages are simply too great in difference. It wouldn’t work out.” -Sasuke (Naruto)...from some ff story
"I can't go anymore. I'm out of batteries." -Kyle Magrans
"It's been destroyed! The evil has been destroyed!" -Shigure's editor...she was talking about how Shigure wasn't writing any more novels XD
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." -Tiger Woods
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." -Dave Barry
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk." -Stephen King
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Good Friend: Asks nicely for your stuff BEST Friend: Shouts ‘GIMME!!’
Friend: Asks me for my number Best friend: Asks me for her number
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too
"We were in a top-secret facility in the middle of Death Valley, officially called 'Freaking Nowhere' on any map, and yet he managed to produce marshmallows." -Max
"I feel like pudding. Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy
"Why was the blind guy playing with matches, you ask? Because he's good at it." -Max
Boy, you just can’t kill people like you used to.” –Fang
“Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren’t missionaries.” –FBI investigator
“No? Well, for God’s sake, don’t tell them. They’d be crushed. Thinking they’re doing the Lord’s work, and all.” –Max
"Louisiana, the state that road maintence forgot" -Max
"I wasn't doin' nothing bad with it, George. Jus' strokin' it." -Lennie (Of Mice and Men)
"Lust, you have my heart on your sleeve. Literally, now I'm bleeding to death. Signed, Ed." -Uncle Yo
"He laminated a human being. We call that perverted, he's calls it limited editon." -Uncle Yo
A watched pot never boils, unless you light the gas under it.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
"Booth, the car is bleeding." -Bones
"Paperweight mode." -Verizon commarcial
"Just stick that little fuzzy ball in there and squish it around." -Booth
Being a ninja and wearing bright orange is like giving a pedophile directions to where your kid sleeps at night.
Jeff Dunham: Don't look at me.
Achmed: That's what she said.
"Sometimes when I look at my children, I think to myself, I could have swallowed you."
"Dear God, if you help me out with this, I promise to stop cheatting on my wife with black guys." -Brucey (The Longest Yard)
"I am glad you are back. Now, I don't have to stab you." (The Longest Yard)
"Yes. Biologically, I am a girl." -Haruhi (OHSHC)
Kagura: You don't know what a woman feels like when she's in love!
Shigure Sohma: Oh, yes I do! Or at least I've felt enough women to venture a guess -Fruits Basket
"i am not insane...i am just looking for the entrance of the kingdom of mayonnaise"
Hughes: (showing Ed a picture) Look! Can you believe how big Elicia has gotten? She can even ride a tricycle now. She follows me everywhere on that thing, like my own escort of cuteness.
Ed: Yep, you're the same as ever, Major...Nice and insane. -FMA
"I want to touch you again Brother!" -Alphonse Elric (FMA)
Pajama pants: when you know your night's gonna be devoid of human contact. -Uncle Yo
As I lay in my bed one night, and stare at the stars; I wonder...Where the heck is my ceiling?!
This space is intentionally left blank.
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it's more likely to be female.
Sri Lanka has lowest divorce rate in the world - and the highest rate of female suicide.
Nyna: Humanity's hopes rest on your shoulders. I would sooner not see them crushed.
Marth: Which? Humanity's hopes, or my shoulders?
Al: Brother, what are you going to do?
Ed: Nothing.
Al: Then why are you chasing me? -FMA...1st episode
“I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.”
“Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween everyday"
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, "Trick or treat." "No thank you."
"He just wanted to see how you tasted?" -Mitsuki
Sex on TV is not dangerous, unless you fall off.
Save a tree, eat a beaver.
Drive it like you stole it!
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
We’re not lost. I’m just not quite sure where we are.
I didn’t escape from the mental ward! Those sirens are a complete coincidence!
You have the emotional capacity of this stapler.
If it's tourist season then why can't we shoot them?

If you believe that Axis Powers: Hetalia promotes world peace, copy and paste this into your signature!

Germany: *huff* huff* I... I... love ya! satisfied?
Italy: YAHOO!!! I love you too!
*crash*

If you've ever felt like you nearly had a nosebleed from reading yaoi, post this on your profile.

If he can't "live without you", then WHY isn't he dead yet????

When life gives you lemons, shut the fuck up so I can read them.

Who else actually likes to clean the lint from the dryer?

In 2013 I'm going to watch '2012' and LAUGH MY ASS OFF.

North Italy (Vargas Feliciano)

(X) You were bullied a lot in your childhood
(X) You adore pasta, pizza, cheese, and fruit.
(X) You're very happy-go-lucky
(X) You constantly have a dozy look on your face as if you're always away with the fairies
(x) You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick up
() You're a good artist (better than most)
(X) You can be clumsy
() You have a friend you always depend upon if you mess up something
(X) If your life was in danger, you would do the typical Italian thing and say: "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY!"
() You would surrender in a war situation

(7/10) for North Italy [Not bad, not bad...]

South Italy (Lovino/Romano Vargas)

() You love tomatoes
(X) You tend to say "goddamn" and "bastard" to everyone, a lot
(X) You tend to get irritated easily
(x) You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick out
() You hate French people
(X) You rely on people too much
() You would surrender in a war situation
() You often feel like people are after your inheritance
(X) You are lazy at times, and you are horrible at cleaning

(5/10) for South Italy [Pfft...that sucks! He's really fricken' awesome!]

Germany (Ludwig)

(X) You're very stoic and serious
() Sausages are your favourite food.
(X) You like to walk dogs/your dog
(X) Your boss/principal/tutor/home-room teacher is a nut-case.
() You love rules and think they should always be followed to a T
(X) You think the world would be better if everyone played by the rules
(X) You work very hard too hard...
(X) Your alone time is your 'happy time'
(X) You can appear tough but be very considerate towards people
(X) You've had issues with money once or twice (. yeah)

(8/10) for Germany (wow, wasn't expecting that)

Japan (Kiku Honda)

(X) You're very mature (when I have to be)
()You think everything over before saying it.
(X) You believe in ghosts but aren't phased by the experience when you see one
(X) You isolated yourself during childhood
() You became very successful in a short amount of time
(X) You are somewhat inexperienced when it comes to the outside world
() You can seem cold/aloof to other people
(X) You're good at practical tasks
(X) You need time to adjust to new people

(6/10) for Japan

The United States of America (Alfred F. Jones)

(X) You love hamburgers
() You think you're awesome (pfft)
(X) You love to invent things
(X) You love going to the cinema/watching films/making films
()You can seem to be very brash to other people
(X) You have a tendency to stick your nose into other peoples' business
(X) You're terrified of ghosts
(X) You know aliens exist
() You tend to wear a bomber jacket all the time
(X) You wear glasses

(8/10) for America [Wow...that's funny BD]

The United Kingdom of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland (Arthur Kirkland)

() You like tea
() You were quite tough and troublesome as a kid
(X)You're very sarcastic and cynical
() Your cooking is awful
(X) You love spiritual magical stuff, such as fairies, ghosts...
()...But you refuse to believe in aliens.
(X) You have tried doing black magic before
() You get drunk quite easily. (The correct word is "HYPER")
() When you are drunk, you tend to be very unhappy
(X) You're good at embroidery

(4/10) for UK

France (Francis Bonnefoy)

(X) You're very affectionate
() You think you have a great fashion sense (Fashion? What's that?)
() You like wine
() You're the master of whispering romantic things into peoples' ears
(X) You love red roses
() When it comes to l'amour, you don't mind men or women
(X) You're very proud of yourself
(X) You love culture and the arts (LOVE them)
(X) You're very flamboyant
() You say you're a gourmet

(5/10) for France [oh dear :L]

Russia (Ivan Braginski)

() You had a very sad childhood.
() You're very tall
(X) You have a tendency to switch between personalities
(X) You wear a scarf all the time
(X) You love sunflowers
() You love vodka
(X) You can seem intimidating to other people
() You're very strong
() You have a big nose
(X) You have a strange laugh that can scare people

(5/10) for Russia [should i be worried?]

China (Wong Yao)

(x) You're very mature
(X) You're very superstitious
(X) You're very religious
(X) You love pandas
() You love cooking so much that you nag if food has a certain pattern of tastes
(X) You love Hello Kitty
(x) You try to be a role-model for your brothers/sisters/whatever, but are never taken seriously.
(X) You work hard
(X) You're good at drawing
(X) You like sweets

(9/10) for China [Holy wow O-O]

Austria (Roderich Edelstein)

(X) You are very well-raised
(X) You're polite (most of the time)
(X) You love classical music
(X) You like cake (but...it's a lie)
() You have a mole on your face
(X) You dedicate your time to your hobbies rather than what needs to be done right away
(x) You are a virtuoso/play very well on at least one instrument
(x) You've composed music before
(x) You tend to call people 'morons' (fictional people don't count!)
(X) You wear glasses

(9/10) for Austria [haha didn't see this coming]

Canada (Matthew Williams)

(X) You're often ignored by people
(X) You look younger than you actually are
() You love hockey
() You love polar bears
(X) You hate fighting(Except in family)
(x)You have one strand of curly hair, like Italy
(X)You often get mistaken for someone else
(X) You feel under-appreciated(mostly)
(x)You're bilingual
()You always carry a bear with you

(7/10) for Canada

Cuba

() You smoke
() You're very physically strong
() You've won a lot of fist-fights
() In your social circle, there are two brothers - you get along with one, but not with the other.
(X)You have very strong emotions about a variety of topics
(X)You like hot weather
(X)You can be very friendly from time to time
()You look very tough on the outside
() You make a very nice role-model
() You don't let people get a word in edgeways

(3/10) for Cuba

Hungary (Elizebeta Hédeváry)

(X) You have a potty-mouth
(X)You like to wear flowers in your hair
() You used to be a very tough kid
(X) You're very reliable
(X) It's better to have you as a friend rather than an enemy
(X) You're very faithful
(X) Your speech and mannerisms can be considered very unladylike
() You and your best friend go together like chalk and cheese.
(X) You are graceful one moment and grinning like a maniac the next
(X) If someone yells that yaoi is going on somewhere, you will drop everything to run off to go and see it.

(8/10) for Hungary

Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt)

() You're quite mean-spirited
(X) You're a bit of a hooligan
(X) You're very loyal
() You're very good at tactics
() You hate Russia
() You love to fight people
() You can avoid marriages quite well
(X) You're not always taken seriously
()You like drinking
(X) You want to become stronger

(4/10) for Prussia

And...You know you’re obsessed with Hetalia when… (not by me)
] When you wonder why the polar bear at the zoo isn’t talking to you
[x] When your teacher questions you when you constantly squeal during History class
] When you scream “Happy Birthday Alfred” and/or “Take that Arthur” on the Fourth of July in a large crowd of people and are proud when they give you the WTF look
] When you know what Sealand is and people find you weird for telling them he’s a little kid in a blue sailor suit that was for sale on eBay
[x] When you laugh if a country’s“vital regions” are discussed in the news/media
[x] When you question why only a few countries use Japanese as the foremost language
[X] When in a conversation about APH, you specifically use both country and human names to confuse the people around you
[X] (the obvious) When you ask, no, COMMAND people to become one with mother Russia and laugh hysterically when they look confused, telling them “everyone eventually becomes one with Russia” before walking away
] When you walk into a Hello Kitty store and ask where the Shinatty-Chan merchandise is
[X] When you take time out of your day to look up country relationships on Wikipedia
] When you begin to notice all the jokes about China
[X] When you try to make your own “idiot hair” and use two bottles of hair gel in the process
[x] When the Great Depression all of a sudden seem hilarious. “Your ass is MINE, America!”
[x] When you correct someone talking about a new discovery of some kind, telling them “Korea already invented that”
[X] When you have to remind people that Hong Kong is NOT the capital of China
[X] When you explain that when the aliens attack, the first to go will be the British
[X] When your grade in Geography suddenly shoots up
] When others ask you what you mean by “England is so cute when he’s Tsundere”
[X] When you find yourself thinking of the best conversation you’ve ever heard:
o Italy: France nii-san, what is intercourse?
o France: Don’t you know, Ita-chan? It’s what you do with someone you like. So…do you like me?
[X] When you correct your history teacher, telling them that the pact of steal between Germany and Italy was actually a pinky swear
[X] When seeing the new Harry Potter movie the second time, the only thing you can think of is the infamous spoiler written all over England’s torso
[x] When the contagious verbal tics of the show become a part of your normal day conversations
[x] When you have full-out and vicious debates on what side (the Axis or Allies) would win in a fist fight
[x] When you imagine, when in a state of insane exhilaration or any kind of insanity emotion, you have the same menacing purple aura that often haunts Russia when he’s “happy”
] When you realize you’ve memorized every single version of MaruKaite Chikyuu and sing them regularly
[X] When you find yourself scanning through your history textbook to find a good fanfiction topic
[X] When you feel yourself tearing-up while discussing the American Revolution
] When you start learning Japanese just to read the Hetalia website
[X] When you expect the Polish exchange student to be a cross-dressing valley girl
] When you download your favorite episodes and watch them compulsively
[X] When you randomly scream “PASTA” and think everyone around you is weird for not getting the joke
[X] When a tomato crate seems like the best hiding place during a war
] When you know the songs “Fat na kare”, “Oyayubi no Tsukaikata”, “Makka na Ito”, “Yokan”, “Gibusu”, “Lion”, “Tetsukazu No Sekai” and “Utsukushii Namae”, have downloaded them onto your itunes and listen to them daily
[X] When “True Italian Spirit” is only another way to say “We Surrender”
[X] When the song “Santa Clause is coming to Town” seems like an odd rip-off of something that was written for Russia
[x] When you try to convince your history teacher to play Chibitalia episodes when learning about the Austrian Wars
[x] When, upon looking at your youtube favorites, you find that APH videos have filled up at least two pages of space
[X] When you begin to read all about your favorite country obsessively to learn more about them
[X] When you start noticing how much you absolutely adore sunflowers
] When you realize there’s always someone underneath the cute mascot uniforms
[X] When you discover the joys of the Sexy Waiter outfit
[x] When you explain to others that condoms are the best weapons in psychological warfare
[x] When others find you odd for talking to the fairies, flying rabbits and unicorns even if they’re the odd ones out for not being able to see them in the first place
[x] When you decided to construct your own APH OC and proudly proclaim to the world that you were the one who created Ireland
[x] When you want your own pink kitty backpack
[x] When “Flower-Egg” seems like the best name for your new puppy
[x] When England wearing America’s jacket is probably one of the best things that’s ever happened to you
[x] When, upon being scolded by a teacher when caught watching/reading APH in class, you explain that you're merely studying for you History exam
[X] When you watch movies/plays/musicals/etc., place APH characters in the roles and plan you're parody fanfiction of it
[x] When you try and memorize the "Yakko's World" song just because you can imagine the countries while singing it
[X] When you don't feel like a nerd for knowing so much about history/geography
[X] When you find yourself attracted to bushy eyebrows, even thinking them sexy
[X] When, if something big happens in the world, you imagine the countries' reactions
[X] When, upon acting/cosplaying as Italy, you close your eyes and keep them closed to see if you can really function that way, only to realise that you can't
[xxxxxxxx] When you try to plant random bits of Hetalia into your schoolwork, and marvel at the fact that you're the only one that knows what you're talking about (Yes)
[x] When you wish your grandfather could be as awesome as Rome
[X] When the sound of bouncing beachballs (Ukraine's boobs) is now disturbing to you
[x] When you use you're favorite/cosplayed country's name in place of your own
[x] When watching South Park, you find great embaressment in the fact that you're composing your own episode in which the APH characters are present (A/N: okay, but does anyone remember the episode with the talk about Finland and the other countries nuking Finland?! BEST DAY OF MY LIFE
[x] When you explain to your Geography teacher that Corsica isn't an island; it's Italy's nipple.
[x] When you find yourself doodling your history notes into a Hetalia-like situation, much to your teacher's dismay (ex: Spanish-American war for a Hetalia fan = Cuba getting pissed at Antonio and Alfred beating Antonio up before giving him a few bucks and skipping away).
EDIT:
[X] When You find the song "Canada's Really Big" or any other references to country's sizes amusingly inappropriate
[x] When Shinatty-chan becomes a frequent doodle on your notebook and you have to explain that it is not hello kitty, but a fat, old guy in a hello kitty imitation outfit
[X] When you spout random facts about various countries and revel in the fact that no one else knows about them
[X] When you find yourself suddenly a lot more aware of the current world situations because people did fanfictions and fanart about them
[X] When you start laughing at a world map because it's really more than just a placement of countries to you
[X] When you have a French exchange student, and you expect them to be just like France... and are fascinated that, yes they are
[x] You spend all day scouring the internet for country relations in a vain attempt to justify your crack pairings
[x] When you suddenly take great pleasure in learning about your lineage and relating it to Hetalia characters
] When you start assigning your best friends countries and when you get together you call it a "World Conference"
] When said friends start forming the pairings you suppory
[x] When you bribe your friend to say "Aru" at the end of every sentence
[X] When you know about more countries than your geography teacher
[x] When you start squealing in geography class
[x] When in history class you start making what you're learning about into a hetalia episode in your head
[x] When you obsessively search Hetalia MADs on Youtube and are confident you know most of them off by heart
[Xxxxxx] When suddenly the image of America is no longer of Uncle Sam or Lady Liberty in your head.( oh yes... you guys should see what I put for each of my ISN covers...)
[X] When you start thinking of the people who represent the nations instead of the places in reality.
[x] When you see a book in the store called 'Your Erroneous Zones' and automatically touch (or want to touch) your hair.
[x] When you're following through with the you know/when #10, find something on Spain before and during WW2, and unconsciously replace 'its' with 'his'
] When Charlie the Unicorn is tainted for life, thanks to England
[x] When you start chanting "kolkolkol" when someone annoys/angers you.
] When you're shocked that all the Ukrainian girls you see haven't fallen over yet due to figure misproportions.
[x] When you feel the need to violently mash your potatoes with a fork no matter what state they may be in.
[x] When you spend half a day constructing a “You Know you’re Obsessed with Hetalia when…”

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