More please! So sweet!

Bless

More!

This is a fine piece of writing.

I recently discovered the Omega-verse and am considering writing my own series about it, but in the meantime I'm doing research and I've found some pretty incredible stories on the way.

This is one such story.

I'm in love with the way you set it back when John was still in the army. Sometimes, Johnlock fan fictions make Sherlock much too open and caring, or just positively horny, but the concept of going into heat gives you a very good excuse if you're writing in the Omega-verse and it makes sense that Omega!Sherlock would act the way he does.

On that note, even though this is only about 5,000 words and has a clear ending, you managed to paint the characters so clearly with your words that the characters stay in character throughout the whole thing, even though most such briefly introduced characters usually don't. I commend you for that. It takes some serious skill to write like this.

Your take on the Omega-verse is both original and sticks to the basic foundation. From the mysterious origins of Sherlock and the tantalizing hints of back story as well as the simple clarity of John's image, underlaid by complexity and tiny hints that make you want to learn more about him, this is a well-crafted piece of writing.

My one piece of criticism, although your grammar was near-impeccable, which is very important in any fan fiction I read/review, the heavily accented speech of the soldiers who bring Sherlock to John near the beginning is a bit too hard to read/understand. When I'm writing someone with an accent, I usually put a description before they speak, i.e. 'The soldier spoke with a broad drawl, his words slurred and contemptuous.' or I just add a few accents, such as "Looky 'ere what we found you, Doc, ripe for the pickin' if you know what I'm sayin'." Another small fault I noticed was that sometimes you forgot to capitalize at the beginning of spoken sentences. Here's the difference:

What is written:

John nodded as he continued his work, "yes, in many camps you likely would have."

What I would have written:

John nodded as he continued his work. "Yes, in many camps you likely would have."

It's a solid rule that you always capitalize at the beginning of a sentence, spoken or written. It's not essential that you place a period before quotation marks as I did but to me it flows a bit better if that's how it's written. One last thing: whenever you put an ellipsis in your writing, it was written like this: "But our general doesn't... fraternize with your people." It should be: "But our general doesn't . . . fraternize with your people." Other than these, this was a remarkably grammatically correct piece of work and all-over a very well-written and plotted one! Best of luck in your writing endeavors and good job on this one!

-A (maybe) human

That was really good! John is so lovely in this story :-)

John is the best

This was insanely hot and sexy, but beautifully written, too. It felt like a fully fleshed-out story. I'd love to read more in this 'verse, if the spirit ever moves you.

Ahww! I love John's gentle nature towards Sherlock, and how it doesn't take long for Sherlock to trust him :) it was sweet! Xx

Omg I just tumble past this fic from stalking a friend fav stories list. It's amazing! I really hope to read a novel sequel D:

This really should have more chapters. Are John and Sherlock actually bonded now? Is Sherlock going to stay with John? After the war, will they move back to John's country? Will they have children (Aka Hamish or a daughter? Or both?)? Will there be complications from the racist leader? Please, I'm begging you. This fic was just too wonderful to be a one shot.

Well that was adorable. I love these AU's where women seem to die off or don't exist and men can have babies. I love it, I also loved this story, very quick to the point but with enough back story to make things much easier to understand. Bravo darling hopefully more of this story is to come. _

It wasn't PWP though - and I need to know what happens next. Please...

Wow! I loved your fic! Please do a follow up or more chapters! This fic has tonns of potential!

Wow this was amazing!

Ahhh! I like it !
What can I say? This fic is hot and cute... and I really love cute and hot fics... xD