Five Plus One, Epilogue (Part 2)

Warnings in this chapter for dub-con almost sex with public humiliation, and Johnlock actual sex. That's more a teaser than a warning, I suppose…

SHERLOCK:

Sherlock lay on the couch thinking seriously about a problem. The problem was John. To be strictly accurate the problem was himself. John and himself together. Last time he had even contemplated asking John to 'do him' (his mental thoughts shied away from naming it more specifically than that) he had almost had a panic attack. Why should it be that he was good at giving head, had no problem with orgasms (quite liked them in fact) but was terrified of sex? He'd never had any, so he had no bad experiences to blame. He didn't think that abortive attempt with Victor counted. Did it? Maybe he should discuss it with John. Maybe John could help him sort it out. John was good with feelings. Yes, ask John.

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JOHN:

It had been a reasonable day at the surgery, and amazingly enough he had actually managed to get away on time. He picked up some milk on the way home and was humming happily as he anticipated a nice cup of tea. Sherlock was lying on the couch in exactly the same posture as when John had left that morning. John wondered idly if he would ever need to dust him. He made tea for both of them and took the two cups into the living room. He lifted Sherlock's legs so that he could sit on the couch and replaced them in his lap. Comfortable, cozy and tea within reach. This was domestic bliss.

"John, I need you to tell me why I am afraid of losing my virginity."

"Um, sorry, what did you say?"

"You know I despise repeating myself." Sherlock's eyes were still closed but his tone was annoyed.

"I heard you, yeah. For a moment I thought you were asking me to deduce something. Did you forget which of us is the consulting detective and which the consulting doctor?"

"Very funny, John. This is an emotional situation and you are better at those than I am."

John stared at him in amazement. Not because of the fact itself (they both knew it was true) but because Sherlock was saying it out loud. "Would you write that down for me? I want to keep it for next time you call me an idiot."

"John, focus please. I want to eventually be able to have sex with you, and I hope you can help me work out what is the problem. Or would you really prefer to have an eternally sexless life?"

John rolled his eyes. "We've had this discussion already. But if you want me to help you work something out, go for it. Where do you want to start?"

"I think I need to tell you about my first boyfriend."

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SHERLOCK:

"It was while I was at Cambridge. His name was Victor Trevor. He was blonde, popular, good at sports, social. The complete opposite of me, in fact. I was amazed that he liked me. He helped me to get on socially, and I helped him with his assignments. He was a bit of an idiot at chemistry so I wrote his project and prac reports. He showed me… well, what it might be like to be liked by someone."

John winced at the stress laid on the word liked.

Sherlock hastened on, "It wasn't what you think. Anyway, even if it was, you shouldn't complain. He taught me the oral skills you have been enjoying."

John winced again. "It was exactly like I think. You gave him blow jobs and genius-level assignments and he gave you… What exactly?"

Sherlock flushed slightly. "Well, anyway, it ended and I'm still a virgin despite my oral skills."

"Um." John frowned. "I think I'm going to need a bit more detail to work out what you mean. You'd better tell me if you two ever attempted to have sex, and how it all ended. I've got a feeling those facts might be related, and relevant to your current… fears."

"I'm not afraid." Sherlock huffed.

"Yes, you are. Now give. Tell me what happened."

"We had been talking about it for a while, and Victor said he had something new to show me. He knew I liked new things and he said I'd like it and that we could stop anytime. So we went to his room and he stripped me and bent me over the chair in front of his desk."

John drew in a sharp breath, then shook his head. "No, go on."

"He… he worked one finger inside me, then two. It hurt. It was uncomfortable and I wanted to stop. I looked back over my shoulder at him…" Sherlock broke off, flushing uncomfortably and looking away from John.

John leaned over and kissed his lips. "I love you, and I'm here for you. Tell me."

"He was smiling and winking at his laptop, which was open on the desk. He was Skyping the whole encounter to the common room, which was crowded with the whole rugby team. Watching us on webcam."

"Shit." John lay his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. "That's awful. That's a horrible, dreadful thing to do to anyone. Especially for their first time. Especially to someone vulnerable and who is trusting. Shit. And my therapist says I have trust issues!"

"So that's it really." Sherlock shrugged. "I put on my clothes and left, and that was the end of it. He only wanted me for my brain, and taking my body was just a side bet. I left Cambridge after that."

John frowned, clearly putting the pieces together. "That's when you started with the cocaine, yeah?"

"I didn't care about anything for a while. I did want people wanted to get what I wanted from them. It's just transport. Other people found it attractive and were willing to pay to use it. Cocaine is expensive, John. But I could never let them do… that. I tried a few times, but each time anyone tried to… to take me like that I just clamped down and it never worked." In a smaller voice he added, "Do you think I'm 'disgusting and unlovable' John?"

John's head jerked up at that. "Never," he hissed. "Whoever told you that was a bastard and I'd like to kill him slowly. You did what you had to do, we all do. You had a public humiliation for your first attempt at sex – I can't imagine much worse than that. At least my humiliation was in private." John gave a rather crooked smile. "I have an idea. How about we try doing something to erase those memories? I don't care if you can never receive me into your body, but I'd like you to take me. If you think that's something you might want to do."

"You would do that for me?" Sherlock asked, disbelievingly.

"It's a pretty vulnerable thing to do together, but I think I can handle it, yeah. If you're so hung up on this idea of 'penetrative sex' let's try it this way and then you can get over this whole virginity thing. If you'd ever penetrated a woman, that would count wouldn't it?"

"Hmm, yes. You are correct. Very well. Now?"

"Um, let me get some dinner and get used to the idea. Tonight. My bedroom."

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JOHN:

John was a little anxious about their evening's plans. It had been a while since he had last been on the receiving end of a large cock, but that wasn't what was worrying him. He wanted to make sure it was good for Sherlock's first time. He was already kicking himself for not noticing for so long that Sherlock had a hang-up about penetrative sex, but honestly, with the amazing talent the man had for giving head and his long clever fingers John had just been too sexually satisfied to notice anything missing. He was also still annoyed with himself for letting Sherlock get him off first the very first time they made love together – this would be his chance to redeem himself, in his own eyes at least. He checked the drawer of his bedside table: condoms and lube were at the ready.

Sherlock tapped on the door and then tentatively pushed it open. John smiled and patted the covers invitingly. "Come to bed, love."

Sherlock slid under the covers without comment and lay flat on his back with his eyes screwed shut.

"Are we having fun yet?" John asked.

Sherlock's eyes popped open. "We haven't started yet."

John rolled his eyes. "I know. I meant that you look like I'm about to torture you rather than about to give you a sexual experience you've been waiting for your whole life."

Sherlock smirked. "You think I've been waiting my whole life for you, John?"

John just smiled. "I think you've waited long enough, let's get this party started." John started kissing Sherlock, wandering kisses over his face, neck and chest. At the same time he let his hands drift lower, stroking down over Sherlock's chest and belly before gently grasping his erection. Sherlock was only half-hard. Despite his bravado he was clearly still nervous. It was fine. It was all fine, and they would just take their time.

Warm, familiar kisses and caresses produced reassurance and eventually, the expected response. Sherlock was finally hard enough, so John reached over to his bedside table and snagged a condom.

"What's that for?" Sherlock was looking nervous again.

"It's for me. I mean, to make it easier for me. You've worn a condom before, I'm sure. Bet you haven't seen this though." John put the condom in his mouth then rolled it down over Sherlock's erection with his lips and sat up again, smiling proudly. "How's that?"

Sherlock sniffed. "I can do it faster."

"Bloody hell. You can do everything. Well, you know what? I can do it slower – and you're about to find out why that's a good thing."

Sherlock looked interested.

"But first, it's been a while, so you'll need to stretch me out a bit. I could do it myself, but if you want to do this more than once you're going to need to do it sometime. You might as well learn now." John took the lube from the bedside table and poured some into Sherlock's hand. "Let it warm up a bit and then just use one finger at a time to loosen the muscle. It's a bit difficult to describe but you'll know it when you feel it happening. Let me lie down next to you."

John lay down next to Sherlock and rather self-consciously hooked his left leg over Sherlock's hip to open himself up. Sherlock gently pressed one slick finger inside John.

"Oh yeah, that's it." John murmured. "Been a while, but it's coming back to me now." He took a few deep breaths and relaxed into the sensation. There was a bit of stretch and Sherlock hadn't used quite enough lube, but his body was already in the zone and anticipating the pleasure to come. "That's it, now add some more lube and try two fingers."

Sherlock pushed two fingers into John's body and felt him gasp and tremble in response. "Oh, that's good. Now press up and forward towards my belly button and you'll feel a little bump. Press it and you'll see why it's important."

After some experimental pushing and twisting his fingers around, Sherlock found the spot John had described and stroked it gently with the tips of his fingers. John threw his head back and groaned and started panting. "That's it. Do that… unh… do that again."

With increasing confidence Sherlock pressed the same spot more firmly. "Am I pressing your buttons, John?" he asked in a voice even deeper than usual.

"Always," gasped John. "Three fingers now, and then I'm going to climb on top of you and have my way with you."

Sherlock looked at John with surprise. "Really? I'd thought you would be the one on your back."

"Maybe some other time. It'll be easier the first time if I can control the speed and depth of penetration. Another time you can be in charge." John snorted. "Just like the rest of the time. God, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Just this once, let me show you." John kissed Sherlock tenderly several times, "Just this first time, let me please you. Let me show you how good it can be."

Seizing the moment, John leaned and pushed Sherlock over onto his back, rolling them until he was sitting astride Sherlock's hips. He reached back with his left hand and positioned Sherlock's tip at his entrance then slowly sank down, impaling himself on Sherlock's cock. They both groaned at the sensation of their deep connection, as well as the sheer overwhelming physical pleasure.

John lifted himself up and then slid back down again, rolling his hips a little at the same time. Sherlock had his eyes shut tight but his mouth open and he was alternately gasping and groaning as John moved. "Oh, John, you're all around me, touching me everywhere… I thought your mouth was amazing. This is… uh…"

John moved his hips a bit faster. "The great Sherlock Holmes, reduced to incomplete sentences. I'm better than I thought."

Sherlock tried to say something, but no discernible words emerged, just incoherent mumbles. He was getting into the swing of moving his hips to match John's though, increasing their mutual stimulation.

"If you liked that, you're going to love this…" John murmured, mostly to himself. He reached down and quickly started jacking himself off. Sherlock's cock felt great inside him, but he needed more to get where he wanted to be. This was for Sherlock's pleasure, he would enjoy himself another time. He stroked himself fast, with firm strokes and a flick of his wrist around the bell-end, just a few times. He was already close, from the intensity of the moment and the thrill of being the first to give this particular sensation to his love.

Sherlock was trying to speak again. It was rather sweet how he kept trying and getting lost in the rush of sensation. "What are you… I should… Ohhh, that's so…"

"Sshhh, relax, love. It's about to get a whole lot better."

"Mph." John assumed from the noise it meant that Sherlock doubted his abilities. He just smiled and stroked himself a bit faster, adding a bit of tension in his thighs and a squeeze around his cock, just like that… And John was coming, spurting hot seed across Sherlock's belly and chest. His body was contracting around Sherlock's cock, applying rhythmic pulses all around him as John's pleasure peaked.

Sherlock let out a yell that was part surprise and part incredulous joy, and then John felt the hips under him moving into a new pattern of quicker thrusts. Then Sherlock was groaning and John felt the heat of his climax spilling inside his body. Sherlock looked gorgeous with his mouth open and eyes closed as he lost himself in wave after wave of orgasmic heat.

John collapsed forward onto Sherlock's chest, enjoying the feeling of Sherlock's heart pounding under his cheek. They rested together for a moment, still joined, letting their breathing slow in tandem. Finally, John reluctantly lifted himself off Sherlock and reached for some tissues. Lots of tissues. Sherlock lazily opened his eyes and watched without comment as John cleaned them both.

When they were mostly un-sticky, John climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up around them. He sprawled himself over Sherlock, who was still lying on his back not having moved during the entire process.

"Are you all right, love?" John asked.

Sherlock chuckled deep in his chest and John could feel the vibrations through his whole body. "I think that was supposed to be my line. You were the one who was at risk of muscle strain, doing all the work."

"It's just that you haven't said anything for three whole minutes, and I wondered if you were still conscious. Or did I squeeze all the snark out of you?"

Sherlock was silent for a moment. Then he said slowly, "Did you really mean it? That would have given this up for me, if I had never wanted it?"

John shrugged. "Sure. It's nice and all, but you… us… being together means more to me than any particular pleasurable act."

Sherlock said wonderingly, "You really do love me."

John laughed. "You're just getting that now? And I thought you were supposed to be a genius!"

"I love you too, you know. I don't say it often enough, but I do."

"I know."

It wasn't the best sex John had ever had, but there was plenty of time for that. Sherlock had enjoyed it and that was all that counted. John curled himself against Sherlock and went to sleep. He felt very sure he would not have any more nightmares.

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SHERLOCK:

After the best sex he had ever had, Sherlock slept deeply and dreamlessly. Naturally.

THE END

So there we are my darlings! All done, and I really need to move on and write something different now. On to the Omegaverse! I'm currently working on "Her Majesty's Secret Service" which is a John-focused Johnlock piece. Then I'll get back to "Re-forming the Broken Dr Watson" after I've finished that one. I'm finding I can't write both Alpha!John and Omega!John at the same time. I'm also hoping to add another chapter each to "The Body" and "After the Great Game", so if you haven't read those ones yet, go see if they are worth following for when they update.

If you liked this please review! If you didn't, constructive criticism makes me a better writer for next time!