Yo! I'm 16 years old, a girl, and I love Harry Potter, Danny Phantom, Maximum Ride, animagi, Doctor Who, My Little Pony (prior that shitty Season 3 'finale'. It was corporate dumptaking.), Danny/Raven, the How to Train your Dragon movie and TV universe, Hunger Games, AU fics, the occasional crackfic (Silverwolf7007's Harry Potter ones are fantastically insane/insanely fantastic), and (tentatively) Teen Titans. And Lackadaisy. Tracy Butler is an amazing author/artist. (she's tracyjb on Deviantart, go check it out. Seriously.) i DISLIKE Anime Retardation (tm), corporate dumptaking, Twilicorn, Harry/Draco, Max/Dylan, female characters wearing teeny tiny bikinis, 'sweat drops' (yes, YOU, Teen Titans fic writers), haters OF ALL KINDS, people who read over shoulders, asshats, Indefinite Hiatuses, Abandoned's, (vampire) Twilight, 'Beliebers', 'Edward or Jacob', the Percy Jackson Movie, the Eragon Movie, whoever was in charge of the Eragon Movie, and the How to Train your Dragon books. Immature shit. I usually shoot someone a PM about a story to, as I like to call it, "poke the opossum". I need to see if it's really dead, people. I have lots of favorite genres and subgenres, but near the very top of my list (really, it's more of a pyramid, apples to oranges and whatnot) are Harry Potter AUs, crossover or otherwise. I'm a real sucker for the What-If's. What is Harry was a Slytherin, what if Dumbles was really a manipulative bastard, what if Har had no allies in First Year, what if up was down and left was right, and Voldemort was really the good guy. :3 Yay for scenario doodling! Technically, I'm atheist. If anything, I'm Discordian, which seems like a really fun religion. Dogma [An authoritative principle, belief, or statement of ideas or opinion, especially one considered to be absolutely true] of any kind, especially religious, is the bane of my existance. I am, however, from a Christian household, which is unfortunately ignorant of my beliefs. YES, Dad, I REALIZE that I only have two hours of computer-gaming time, but I am NOT playing games, I AM READING A GODDAMN BOOK! And I'm from Georgia, USA. Not Britain. Though I do so love using British slang. You folks are weird... :P Iiiiiii will probably never write anything. Just sayin'. And why the hell would I have to write shit to beta? *grumbles vaguely* The name 'Aracelli Glorywhite' makes me gag. :D Hi, Wilona! I ADORE fluffy romance every once in a while. Harry Potter crackfics are the best. And WHERE THE HELL IS AMITY PARK LOCATED? I've seen Minnesota, Wisconsin (nope), Oregon (likely), Idaho (also likely), Missouri, and basically anywhere else in the Central States. Even New York, once. Dafuq. DAMMIT DAD, I KNOW I have homework, but can you PLEASE just let me check my story alerts?! YES, I realise I say 'shit' a lot. Sometimes a situation merits cursing to adequately describe what I think. If you pester me about my cursing, I will cuss you out. So if you don't like my cursing, you will not tell me so. Or you will quietly deal with it. Your choice. Also, I do not consider 'hell' to be a curse. I love to inject logic into peoples' stories. It's what I'm here for, after all! I mean, if I'm not going to write anything, I might as well help people fill their unfortunate plot holes. Gods know there's so many... *shudders* Aquiline: (adjective) Of, relating to, or having the characteristics of an eagle. Derived from Latin aquilinus, from aquila (eagle). Feline: (noun) A cat or other member of the cat family. Derived from Latin felinus, from felis (cat). Fave Books: Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Kane Chronicles, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Maximum Ride, White Fang, Call of the Wild, several Nancy Drew, Mortal Instruments, His Dark Materials (though I vaguely dislike the final book's ending), Witch and Wizard (although I only remember parts), Hunger Games (but I DO NOT DO crossovers), Epic, Saga, Edda, Warriors (cats), the four Ender's Game books (especially Children of the Mind), Erec Rex, Bran Hambric, May Bird, Narnia, Dealing with Dragons, the Dragon's Blood series (Jane Yolen), Eragon, Dragon Rider (Funke), Fablehaven, Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, and possibly many others, which are in the library. Know that I like fiction. Movies: Tangled, LotR, Hunger Games, HTTYD, The Golden Compass (how I wish they would make the other two), the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Prince Caspian, and possibly many others that I am too lazy to recall. I do NOT like: Eragon, Voyage of the Dawn Treader (GODS THEY CHANGED SOOOOOOOO MUCH BLEAGH), Percy Jackson (Overblown quest for THREE DAMN PEARLS which should have been gifts, 'gangsta' ladies'-man Grover, Luke DIES and no Kronos so Luke was the big bad [the everloving shit? them's a huge-ass plot hole thar., Persephone being a damn seductress, and MUTHER-BUCKING WATER TRIDENTS. GODS.) TV Shows: Danny Phantom, W.I.T.C.H., Generator Rex, My Little Pony (Honey Badger don't give a shit if you don't like it), Mythbusters, Doctor Who, occasionally Warehouse 13, likewise with Eureka, HTTYD, Spectacular Spider-man (I hate the producers for leaving it unfinished and selling the license to Disney who, frankly, shit on it with this Ultimate nonsense. I hate Drake Bell sooooooooooo much...), and Loonatics Unleashed (I have to add that the S1 version of the opening bit is far superior to that song nonsense from later on.). I adore crossovers. Especially Danny Phantom, as you can tell. I wish there were more W.I.T.C.H. crossovers with stuff I like. (Away with ye, Desiree!) Nicknames! (because Why the Hell Not) Danny Fenton: Phantom, Ghost Boy, Schrodinger's Cat (makes a ton of sense if you think about it) Voldemort: Voldy, Moldywart, Moldyshorts (my personal favorite) Dumbledore: Dumbles, Old Man, Fumblemore (especially in antagonist AUs) Jack Frost: Icicle, Snowflake, Snowcone Hogwarts (yes, it's not a person, but still): Pigfarts, Frogwarts (I will call it that very often) Hufflepuffs will always be Honey Badgers. :D Love you guys! Robin: Rob, Birdboy, Traffic Light, Boy Blunder Blackfire: Blackthorn (not funny, but it fits and I WOULD call her that in person.) Pairings. (...when I say Jack, I'm referring to Jack Frost. There's nothing regarding Jack Fenton anywhere in here.) Harry Potter: I do NOT do Harry/Draco, Hermione/Draco (she's too smart to like him, LOL), Harry/Snape (Goddamn, people, what is so alluring about shipping a teenage protagonist with their adult rival who had a thing for said protagonist's mother?), or anyone/Dumbles. I don't like Fleur at all. Danny Phantom: Don't like Danny/Valerie (or Valerie at all, she's a jerk in my book), Sam/Tucker, and HELL NAW to Danny/Vlad. Screw Vlad, and there's that creepy older-rival pairing thing again, not to mention he's obviously straight and has the hots for Danny's mother. Also, no Fenton/Phantom. I seriously don't get it. How does that even work? How can one have the hots for oneself? ...You know what, don't answer that question. Rise of the Guardians: No to Jack/Tooth, Jack/Bunny and another big DO NOT WANT to Jack/Pitch. It's the creepy-older-nemesis thing again. Seriously, what is wrong with you people? Also, no Pitch/? at all. Hate the guy. Teen Titans: Robin/Starfire, Beast Boy/Terra, I can do Robin/Raven. Beast Boy/Raven is a pessimistic meh. I don't like Jinx that much. SCREW YOU, MALCHIOR. HtTYD: I don't like Astrid. Anything not involving Hic is fair game; I don't care. I don't mean to be a spoilsport, but there's just no canon character I like to pair with Hiccup. Crossovers! (yay!) #IN PROGRESS# Favorite Fics! I figured I'd put my all-time favs in here and why I like them, since I use my Favorites list to tag ALL of the stories I've read and liked. Know that it's nowhere near completion at the moment, I need to pick through my faves in order to make this. Also: There is no order. If anything, it's in order of what comes to mind. Don't take offense if yours is farther down. I don't compare apples to oranges anyway. Reasons are pending if they aren't there yet. Guardian of Magic (Harry Potter and Rise of the Guardians) by wolfsrainrules Haunted Destiny (Danny Phantom and Teen Titans) by Funkatron A Phantom of a Titan (Danny Phantom and Teen Titans) by ImaSoBored How did we MISS this? (Danny Phantom and Teen Titans) by Dalxein Haunted Memories (Danny Phantom and Teen Titans) by Dreams2Paper11 Cheshire's Grin (Harry Potter) by MrWriterWriter: Okay, this is an odd one. Basically, after Harry Floos to Borgin and Burkes in the second year, he finds the old Cheshire Cat's collar and becomes the new Chesh. Lots of chaos, creeper Ginny, and Ron-bashing. It gets the Discord Stamp of Approval. Fun times, fun times. Not so sure about the 'M for later chapters', though... A Vent Comes to Haunt (Harry Potter and Danny Phantom) by Miriam1 Harry Crow (Harry Potter) by robst An Unexpected Hero (Danny Phantom and Teen Titans)by Yoshi-Strange: Just about the only AU of this universe I've read (and tolerated) where Raven skips Jump (ha) and goes to Amity instead, and it's damn well the best. Great plot, great characterization, great pacing. The characters interact flawlessly, the episode scenarios are tailored seamlessly to include Raven, and, most of all, Vlad gets his ass handed to him by Rage Raven. XD How to befriend a ghost (Danny Phantom and How to Train your Dragon) by DragonLovingGirl6 Dear Order (Harry Potter) by Silverwolf7007: Pure crack. The kind that makes people look at you funny because you're laughing so hard. Catching the Wind (Harry Potter and Rise of the Guardians) by InkheartFirebringer The 40,794th Annual Inter-Dimensional Hero Awards (Danny Phantom multicross) by pinkiethebandit Frost Meets Ghosts (Danny Phantom and Rise of the Guardians) by storygirl99210 Titans Phantom (Danny Phantom and Teen Titans) by rinchanmidnight A Strange Believer (Harry Potter and Rise of the Guardians) by fringeperson Youth (How to Train your Dragon and Rise of the Guardians) by The_Mischief_King The Savior, Child of the Tardis, Son of a Mad Man (Harry Potter and Doctor Who) by Kuroi in a Black Hole June 24th 1995 (Harry Potter and Doctor Who) by Antioch XX One sunny day, I've recently discovered Green Day. THEY ARE AMAZING. I can't stop listening to Wake Me Up When September Ends. Anyone notice how well it fits Jack Frost? FROM NOW ON, THIS IS SHIT THAT I DIDN'T WRITE. Sirius shook his head, lips quirking into a grin, "I was just going to look for you—Tonks said she'd send you down, but it'd been about fifteen minutes—where were…" the man trailed off, staring at Danny in something like shock. Danny suddenly felt uneasy. It was clear enough that Sirius had decided the impression of Danny going through him had been just that—a strange twist of perception, not an actual happening. But if he'd started to go invisible or something… "Danny," Sirius said carefully, eyes fixed on the boy's hair, "You have a doxy on your head." Danny relaxed and shrugged, "Yeah, so?" "Doxies are poisonous," Sirius informed, clearly a bit uneasy. "Yes, Tonks told me." Danny reached up and carefully felt his hair until four little hands clasped around his finger and gently lifted the little creature off his head. Bright orange eyes blinked at him and the creature bared sharp fangs in a happy smile while it kicked its four legs cheerfully. "Hi, Fuzzy," he greeted, "Why are you so obsessed with my hair?" The doxy chittered for several seconds before buzzing its wings and returning to the top of Danny's head, burrowing into his hair contentedly. Danny sighed and shrugged at Sirius' disbelieving stare, "What? He likes me. Or, at least, he likes my hair. Can we eat or what?" (--From "Harry Potter and the Halfa of Amity", by Shadewolf7.) Hey, Shade! Update your story! Discordianism /dis-kor'di-*n-ism/ n. The veneration of Eris, a.k.a. Discordia; widely popular among hackers. Discordianism was popularized by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson's novel "Illuminatus!" as a sort of self-subverting Dada-Zen for Westerners -- it should on no account be taken seriously but is far more serious than most jokes. Consider, for example, the Fifth Commandment of the Pentabarf, from "Principia Discordia": "A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he Reads." Discordianism is usually connected with an elaborate conspiracy theory/joke involving millennia-long warfare between the anarcho-surrealist partisans of Eris and a malevolent, authoritarian secret society called the Illuminati. hacker humor A distinctive style of shared intellectual humor found among hackers, having the following marked characteristics: 1. Fascination with form-vs.-content jokes, paradoxes, and humor having to do with confusion of metalevels (see meta). One way to make a hacker laugh: hold a red index card in front of him/her with "GREEN" written on it, or vice-versa (note, however, that this is funny only the first time). 2. Elaborate deadpan parodies of large intellectual constructs, such as specifications (see write-only memory), standards documents, language descriptions (see INTERCAL), and even entire scientific theories (see quantum bogodynamics, computron). 3. Jokes that involve screwily precise reasoning from bizarre, ludicrous, or just grossly counter-intuitive premises. 4. Fascination with puns and wordplay. 5. A fondness for apparently mindless humor with subversive currents of intelligence in it -- for example, old Warner Brothers and Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoons, the Marx brothers, the early B-52s, and Monty Python's Flying Circus. Humor that combines this trait with elements of high camp and slapstick is especially favored. 6. References to the symbol-object antinomies and associated ideas in Zen Buddhism and (less often) Taoism. See has the X nature, Discordianism, zen, ha ha only serious, koan, AI koans. See also filk, retrocomputing, and the Portrait of J. Random Hacker in Appendix B. If you have an itchy feeling that all six of these traits are really aspects of one thing that is incredibly difficult to talk about exactly, you are (a) correct and (b) responding like a hacker. These traits are also recognizable (though in a less marked form) throughout science-fiction fandom. ha ha only serious [from SF fandom, orig. as mutation of HHOK, Ha Ha Only Kidding'] A phrase (often seen abbreviated as HHOS) that aptly captures the flavor of much hacker discourse. Applied especially to parodies, absurdities, and ironic jokes that are both intended and perceived to contain a possibly disquieting amount of truth, or truths that are constructed on in-joke and self-parody. This lexicon contains many examples of ha-ha-only-serious in both form and content. Indeed, the entirety of hacker culture is often perceived as ha-ha-only-serious by hackers themselves; to take it either too lightly or too seriously marks a person as an outsider, a wannabee, or in larval stage. For further enlightenment on this subject, consult any Zen master. See also hacker humor, and AI koans. Ninety-eight percent of people online have "copy and paste statistics" in their profiles. If you're part of the two percent who don't, copy and--wait a sec, dammit. DPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDPDP1111111111 If you support Jack Sparrow and his jar of dirt, paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. .eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you (dare i say it?) have died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If your profile is insanely long, copy and past this into your profile to make it EVEN LONGER!!!! If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Kina lupi, Dragonluvr1993, UniqueMelody, XxSpiritWolfxX, MillionDollarNinja, VampireFrootloopsRule, Sayuri Yori, AquilineFeline "Give me an alien invasion any day over some complicated time event. The Time agency, all those rules to stop paradoxes and loops and shifts. Then the Doctor comes in, skews your entire perception of time, stabs it thoroughly with the horn of a Phenisian Whale and sends it skittering across ten lanes of traffic on Vegas 5." "The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." "I am your judge, executioner, jury, executioner, and if the situation requires it, executioner." "This is Berk. It's twelve days north of Hopeless, and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery." "(About writing a self-insert Danny Phantom fic) I just want to see the look on Danny's face when I tell him I want to get into Ghost Zone armed with nothing but a condom." --Yami-chan and Unrealistic "The path to Hell is paved with good intentions." "To eleven and twelve year olds, anyone out of their teens was considered old. By that method of reckoning, Professor McGonagall was ancient. Using this same measuring scale, the small stooped witch currently standing next to their transfiguration professor must be Methuselah's mother." --Harry Crow, robst "This is Berk, boasting the kind of balmy fun-in-the-sun climate that will give you frostbite on your spleen." Foaly: This criminal mastermind, the one behind this elaborate scheme... Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up. Excuse me. Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it... Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. I don't obsess! I think intensely. Silence is Golden, Duck tape is Silver. Ways to Annoy People 1. Pay tolls with 100 bills In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: ...You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (really? I thought it would be cold) On packaging for a Rowentairon: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because?...) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to... what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (It does not! does it? ohh it does) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (now they tell me) On a Korean knife: “Keep out of children” (I should bloody well hope so!) Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop" (That means you, Hulk! Put that bloody aeroplane down, you might drop it!) Scoopable cat litter- "safe to use around pets" (Again, I should bloody well hope so!) Endust duster- "This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances" (That's right, who doesn't use their dusters as kindling?) Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children." (Good thing babies aren't children, isn't it!) Hair coloring- "Do not use as an ice cream topping." (Yeah. My grandmother died because she thought my hair dye was ice-cream topping and put it in a sundae) Komatsu Floodlight- "This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" (OMG!! That's as amazing as a newsreader reading the news!) Earplugs- "These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.) RCA television remote control- "Not dishwasher safe." (again, now they tell me) Road sign- "Caution: water on road during rain." (No. Shit. Sherlock.) On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions- "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food now?!) On artificial bacon- "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.) I am a Slytherin! "Slytherin's cardinal traits are ambition, cunning and determination. Like the Gryffindor House, Slytherins are emotionally volatile. In contrast, however, Slytherins are much less dominant and assertive, and less extroverted in general. Rather than expressing these emotions outwardly, Slytherins direct them inward or act in a passive aggressive manner. Both Gryffindor and Slytherin are much more driven to succeed than the other two houses: Gryffindor out of pride and Slytherin out of ambition. Slytherins are also much more pragmatic than the other houses and more adept at manipulating people. A key trait would be a low level of agreeableness: Slytherins are more pessimistic, more distrustful than most, and more likely to attribute negative motivations to people. So although Slytherins experience a wide range of emotions, due to their distrustful views of people and skeptical worldview, they are less expressive and more likely to appear cold or distant unless provoked. A Slytherin's ambitious nature comes out in different ways depending on what is important to the individual person. It could lead them to try to achieve top marks (if intellect and schooling is important to them) but it could also be directed at social settings or towards athletic endeavors." Looking back: Goddamn, this is long. LOL XD |