Author has written 5 stories for Pokémon. UPDATE: (3-21-10) Updated "It Takes Two to Raise a Family." Yeah... About Me Name: You can refer to me as aqua-dragon, or aqua for short Age: Wouldn't you like to know? (sarcasm) Gender: A girl. Height: Taller than the ground, lower than the sky Weight: (stares in disbelief) Hobbies: Reading, playing games, sleeping, eating, running, and as of recently, writing. Likes: Dragons(duh), wolves, black, blue, white, manga, games, piano, night, Pokemon, Bleach, Soul Eater, MANGAQUESTSHIPPING, FRANTICSHIPPING, HARVARXJACKIE, etc. Dislikes: Yellow and red(the colors, not the pkm.special people), people who don't know when to shut up, yaoi, yuri (sorry, but both of these creep me out, no offense to those who like them), morning, etc. Personality: I'm pretty quiet, but I'm talkative around my friends. I'm sarcastic and slightly sadistic(or so I'm told). I'm not emo, but I'm definitly not an optemisstic person. (Actually I'm kinda the opposite.) But, I can fangirl it up when it's a character or ship I like. I guess I have a split personality... Picture (Disclaimer): I didn't draw the pic. for my avatar, therefore, it doesn't belong to me...kudos to whoever drew it though, it's an awesome pic.! (If you drew it, please PM me, I'll credit you.) My OTP: Mangaquestshipping forever!! My Writing Style, Inspirations, etc.: Style: Um...honestly, I'm not sure what my "style" of writing is. (I know, you're probably going, what kind of writer are you?!) I guess I just try to keep it simple and add things that are subtle but are still noticeble. (Wow, that did not make any sense...-_-') Genre: Mostly romance. Which is strange since I don't seem like a very "romantic" person. If you told my friends that I wrote romancy stories, they'd probably die laughing. Yeah, they would... P.O.V.: Generally I write in first person point of view. My favorite person to write as? Oddly enough, Crystal. I know a lot of people don't like her and say she's a boring character, but I like writing in her P.O.V. Probably because I have a similar personality to her... Rating: Actually, most of my stories could probably fall under the K+ rating, but I put them under T, because sometimes there's cussing and mainly, for safety (a.k.a. if I slip up and write something T rated that little kids shouldn't be reading.) Things that inspire me/my writing: Fanart for one thing, definitely. Or fan videos. Music?...Kinda, not really though. Yeah, mostly fanart. (Feel free to show me any fanarts/drawings you have of any of my Pokespecial pairings and I may use them in my writing!) Requests: Sure, I'll take any requests of any of the Pokespecial pairings under my fav. list. (I don't do the anime/games because I'm not too certain how to write their characters...) Reviews: Yes, I love reviews! However, I don't write for reviews, I write for fun! (Kind of...when I don't have writer's block.) As to whether I review or not, I try my best to review, but I never really know what to say, but I'll do my best! My stories Something More (COMPLETED!)- This fic. is about Gold and Crystal who are best friends. But when a new guy asks Crys out, how will this change Crys' and Gold's relationship? Pairings include: Mangaquest, frantic, special, and possible oldrival. Slight AU. Chinese Finger Trap- Ruby and Sapphire won't stop arguing so Blue decides to "bond" them in a special way... Pairings: Frantic, mangaquest, oldrival, and special. The Thin Line Between Love and Hate- Blue gets sent to bording school where she meets some new friends, starts to fall for a certain boy, and meets an familiar face... Pairings: Oldrival, special, mangaquest, frantic, one-sided lucky. More or Less: The sequel to "Something More." Gold and Crystal have finally admitted to being more than friends and are now together happily ever after, right? WRONG! Some unexpected visitors have come to break up their relationship. Can Gold and Crys make it last? Pairings: Mangaquest, frantic, possible special and oldrival. It Takes Two to Raise a Family: The Dex holders finally have to face a challenge they're not quite ready for...Parenthood. But not quite the way you might imagine it. A family story with a twist. Pairings: Mangaquest, frantic, oldrival, subtle special (you'll see what I mean) and possible viridian. My Ships & Non-Ships (Be warned. It is extremely long...) Pairings I support/like/love (the ones I love are underlined) Bleach: Toshiro X Momo-My fav. Bleach couple. It's sooo obvious. I mean, c'mon, the whole childhood thing? The look so cute together! (If only toshiro would get a growth spurt...) I love this pairing!! Ulquiorra X Inoue-This pairing is also cool. They go together perfectly, with Ulquiorra showing more emotion around Inoue and her being more serious. It's an awesome pairing. Ichigo X Inoue-What can I say? I also support the first love pairings. Gin X Matsumoto-Again, CHILDHOOD FRIENDS!! Besides they look good together. NemuXUryuu-I dunno, it just seems to match somehow...plus, she did save his life. Nemu X Hisagi- I know, totally random pairing, but they're both vice-captains to total weirdos and they look good together, so why not? Renji X Rukia- If I had to pair Rukia w/ someone, it'd be Renji. They match somehow... Card Captor Sakura: Sakura X Syoran- C'mon, it's canon!! Tomoyo X Eriol- I dunno, they both match perfectly with their mysterious demenors... Tsubasa Chronicle: Sakura X Shaoran- It's the most obvious pairing!! Tomoyo X Kurogane-The princess and her protecter? Seriously, it works so well! Besides, that one ch. with tomoyo and kurogne(showing his past) when they were little, that pic. of them together is sooo cute! Pokemon: Pearlshipping: I know, I know. The whole "HE'S TO OLD FOR HER!!"thing. Well, they look good together, they're hardly ever apart, and I don't think the characters really age...(I mean, have YOU ever seen them celebrate a birthday?) Contestshipping: This one is practically canon. Hoennshipping: Brendan deserves to be in the anime! I'm so sick of hearing people bash Brendan just to make Drew look good... Also I think it's because I'm a franticshipper... Questshipping: Same as above...only with mangaquest shipping... Rangershipping: This one is one that cannot be argued with. Almiashipping (Kellyn & Kate): Erm...I dunno, it's kinda like rangershipping, and I don't like Kate X Keith. Rocksmashshipping (Brawly X Roxanne): Again, I have no idea why I like their pairing so much. I guess they're kinda like Gold X Crys (super-serious gal w/laid back dude). Senirasushipping (Volkner X Candice): Hm...I guess I like the tough girl/laid back guy pairings... Candice X Aaron: I saw some fanarts with them together and it was cute, so why not? (Bad reason I know, but I support senirasushipping more anyways.) Alexandrianshipping (Volkner X Jasmine): C'mon, there has to be a reason why Jasmine went to Sunnyshore. ;) Conjunctionshipping (Saturn X Mars): To me it's better than Saturn X Jupiter, Jupiter looks too creepy/evil/old for Saturn. (No offense to Jupiter X Saturn fans.) CreepUpshipping (Nejiki X Cattleya; Thorton X Caitlin): I just found out their names really recently; before I was running around like, "Who are those people?!" But they look good together (I know, I'm so shallow...) and I think it would be an intersting pair. Nejiki would be all cold and distant & Cattleya would try to get him to open up. I just wish it were more popular...btw, does anyone know why the shipping is called "CreepUpshipping?", 'cause it makes me think Nejiki's a stalker... (I will write a ship for this one day! Hopefully...) Ironwillshipping: Hm...even though this ship is probably a pedophile one, it just seems to work...the scenarios that could work with this ship are pretty much endless! Spyroshipping (Ice X Lavana): The first time I saw them in the game, I was all, "Omg, they would make an awesome pair!" and so, it's come to this. (I am such a fangirl sometimes...) Lagomorphshipping: Pikachu and Buneary are so cute together! Also it's a sign of pearlshipping! Dracoshipping (RayquazaXLatias): They just match...no further comment Sightshareshipping (LatiasXLatios): I like this shipping, but only if they aren't related! Nightlightshipping (EspeonXUmbreon): Opposites attract. Cheerfulsignsshipping (PlusleXMinun) : Same as above. Pokemon Special(manga): Franticshipping: Opposites attract. And, it's canon. One of my fav. ships. Mangaquestshipping (my OTP): Gold and Crystal look so cute together. And in the last few chap. of the GSC series they spent so much time together. It's one of my fav. pairings! Plus, she's the only one who can control him. Oldrivalshipping: Green and Blue match in some way. With his cool personality and her wit, they make a great pair! Besides, the "pesky girl" comments? I also love this pairing. Specialshipping: I don't like this pairing, but I don't hate it...I guess I support it. Commonershipping: It's cute and he has a crush on her. Distantshipping (Silver X Platina): Okay, you have to admit that their personalities click in some way. I think it would be an interesting ship... Viridianshipping: I can imagine a few scenarios between Silver and Yellow, what with her caring personality & his cold demeanor...yeah, the possiblities... Grantedshipping: ...Another Yellow ship? She's too easy to pair... Anyways, this is actually a pedoship I'm okay with! (Unbelievable!) This video on YT converted me. (I'm sure you've all heard about it from other people, so I'm not gonna repeat it.) Healthshipping (Wally X Yellow): It's a nevermet ship, but it could work! With Yellow's caring personality & Wally's health problems, there could be so many scenarios! Emerald X Yellow: Yet another Yellow ship...(I've got to stop shipping that girl...) Anyways, the reason why I got into this ship is 'cause both of them aren't in any games/anime, so they are totally unique as manga people. Soul Eater: Harvar X Jacqueline: Okay, this is now my favorite pairing from Soul Eater. It is VERY unknown and unloved. It is also quite possibly the most crack pairing I like (besides maybe Doumeki X Himawari). The reason why I like this pair? Well, 1. They look cute/cool together (Very shallow...yes, I'm aware of that) and 2. Their meisters kind of like each other, so it would be nice for them to be a pair. Maka X Soul: I was hooked on this pairing from the first ch.! Very unoriginal, I know... Ox X Kim: Well, I don't hate it or love it, but I support it and so far in the manga, it's had the most hints out of any shippings. Medusa X Stein: Two crazy, wacky, sadists. What's not to love? Stein X Marie: She kinda evens him out... Patty X Black Star: Random! But that one ch. w/ the party and them acting all kiddy-like, made me laugh. Tsubaki X Black Star: ...Eh, okay. Not on my FAVORITES list, but okay-ish... Scythe X Blair: Hm...maybe...it could work. Death the Kid X Tsubaki: CRACK PAIR!! I still like it though... Death the Kid X Maka: Passable...I can see how it would work, what with Maka and her symmetry (i.e. pigtails), but I prefer Soul X Maka. Death the Kid X Chrona: Only if Chrona is a girl!! He might help her even out a little... Eruka X Free: This pair is growing on me for some odd reason... Sid X Mira Nygus: She's the only one who matches Sid, no further comments. Other: Hikaru X Haruhi (Ouran High Host): Sorry to all the Tamaki X Haruhi fans, I am a solid Hikaru X Haruhi fan! I know she's going to end with Tamaki in the end (so predictable...), but I can still dream, can't I? Himawari X Doumeki (xxxHolic): Yeah, very un-known/un-loved pairing. But, I dislike yaoi and Doumeki is the only one unaffected by Himawari's bad luck (besides her parents and Tanpopo or Yuuko and Mokona), so I think this pairing could work very well. (It's just overshadowed by the Watanuki X Doumeki fandom -_-) Himawari X Watanuki (xxxHolic): Watanuki has a huge crush on her and still wants to be with her even after the "falling out of the window" accident. I prefer Himawari X Doumeki more, but this ship is still good. Kiba X Hinata (Naruto): First Naruto ship! I personally think Kiba's better for Hinata. Naruto is too...Naruto... Shino X Ino (Naruto): Haha, crack pairing ftw! I just love reading fics about this ship. Too bad there aren't more of them... Shikamaru X Ino (Naruto): It's an interesting pair; Ino's one of the few girls who has Shikamaru's attention. Shikamaru X Temari (Naruto): Overrated pair much? Still, everyone knows only Temari can handle Shikamaru's lazy/moody tendencies. Suzu X Ginko (Mushi-shi): Um...both in the anime episode and the manga chapter Suzu was in, it was hugely implied from both sides that there was something between them. (Suzu clutching onto Ginko's sleeve & Ginko's last comment about how he can't return during winter were MAJOR hints along with some other ones...) Pairings I hate, dislike(underlined means dislike), don't support, etc. Bleach: ToshiroX Matsumoto: ...He's too young for her! In the human world she's probably like 25+ while he's like 13-15. They might as well call it pedophileshipping! Aizen X Momo: Oh yeah, nothing says "I love you" more than a sword speared through you... And again, PEDOPHILESHIPPING!! Toshiro X Karin: They never met! EVER! The anime doesn't count, that episode was just a filler! It was never in the manga!! Momo X Kira: Kira is too...I dunno, emo looking... Besides, Momo is MEANT for Toshiro, and only TOSHIRO!! Ichigo X Rukia: I don't hate this pairing, but I don't support it. Rukia doesn't really seem like she's meant for anyone. Pokemon: Advanceshipping: OMG!! Yuck! I hate this shipping! (no offense to those advaceshippers) I just don't like how the two look together and when I was watching the part of the series w/May in it, I didn't see any hints at all!! Friendship is the ONLY kind of ship I saw in this! Pokeshipping: One of the most popular ships...I don't support it. Like Ichigo X Rukia, it's tolerable, but I'd prefer pearlshipping. Ikarishipping: There's no evidence of it. AT ALL! Paul's too mean and cruel to ever be in a relationship... Penguinshipping: Dawn looks to mature for him, no offense. Cavaliershipping: Erm...it's not that Gary X Dawn is a bad ship...I just can't see it... Belleshipping: Yeah, they're both too caught up in their own little dramas. Plus, Drew's too into May to ever think of Dawn. Btw, they're nevermet, so it doesn't really work... Newrivalshipping (May X Wally): Erm...no. I think Wally wouldn't really be able to keep up with May. I'm leaving that up to Brendan...or Drew...or Brendan ;p Jovianshipping (Saturn X Jupiter): Okay, Jupiter looks too scary/evil/old for Saturn. Maybe it's just the way she's drawn, but she seriously looks too old for him. Butlershipping (Kokuran X Cattleya): Ahhhhhh!! What is the world coming to?! Jk. Anyhoodle, this ship creeps me out as it seems to be a pedophile ship and I like Nejiki X Cattleya better, so yeah... Pikashipping and Altomareshipping:...That's just sick... Palletshipping: No, just no... Pokemon Special(manga): Luckyshipping: I don't really see them as a couple. More of a brother-sister relationship...or really good friends. Feelingshipping: Um...he trained her, that's pretty much the extent of their relationship. Specialjewlshipping: Silver and Crystal don't seem to be close at all. Nope, not at all. They spoke like...less than 50 words to each other probably...Then again, Silver's not really close to anyone besides Blue (sibling relationship) and Gold (rivalry),so I doubt it would work. Frontiershipping (Crystal X Emerald): I just learned about this and I'm kinda weirded out now. Seems more like a younger brother-older sister thing...or admiration, but not shipping Choosenshipping: Again more of an older sister-younger brother relationship. Preciousmetalshipping: That's just...I dunno, wrong? Haughtyshipping: Berlitz and Pearl don't seem like a ship to me, it just doesn't appeal to me I guess... Ambershipping: Who came up with this?! I cannot imagine Gold with Yellow, it's just not right! Besides, they barely even talked to each other. Viridianshipping (Yellow X Silver) has a better chance (more hints) than this in the manga! Manganewrivalshipping (Wally X Sapphire): Okay...if I probably didn't like the game version of this, what makes you think I'd like the manga version of it any better? Besides, Wally would die if was with Sapphire; the poor guy has enough to handle without a vicious girl on his hands. Mangaadvanceshipping: Again, if I didn't like the anime verion of it, why would I like the manga version of it? Other: Kurogane X Fai: It's like the most popular ship in tsubasa chronicle but again, yaoi scares me. Watanuki X Doumeki: Another popular ship, but as stated above yaoi is not something I like. Naruto X Hinata: I don't like this pairing. It's overrated and makes no sense. Hinata likes Naruto but Naruto doesn't like her in that sense. It is too one-sided. Sasuke X Sakura: Again, waaaay too overrated. Yes they will probably end up together, but if they do, I hope they die on the battlefield together or something... Ranting Space (The place where I will blow off steam about something random 0_0): Current topic: HG/SS's new girl (Soul? I think that's her name...) Okay, I'm majorly angry/sad about the new girl in Heart Gold and Soul Silver. Seriously, why'd they go and replace Kris? Yeah, I know it's a remake of Gold and Silver (which Kris was not in), but was it really necessary? Really? Plus, I dislike this new girl's whole look (i.e. the hat, the overalls, etc.). Still, it's not my place go on about it, so I won't go on with this. As long as they don't replace Crys (from the manga) with this girl (ex. Crys stays at the lab while new girl, Gold, and co. go on a journey) then I guess I'll be okay with it. And I don't want any hints of Gold X new girl. (Mangaquestshipping forever!) Pairings with the new girl: I might be okay with Silver X new girl. (Soulsilvershipping) That would actually work out and work in favor for Mangaquestshipping fans (yes, I am a crazy fangirl of mangaquestshipping, I'm well aware of that...), and Silver wouldn't be lonely anymore. (Plus it would also give oldrivalshipping an advantage.) Still, I would prefer this new girl to never come into the manga in the first place. (Sorry fans of the new girl!) RaNdOm CoRnEr: My thoughts on Yaoi, Yuri, etc. I have nothing against gays or lesbians but Yaoi and Yuri creep me out and nothing will make me read them. Also pairings like Aizen X Momo, pedophile pairings like that sicken me. Sorry. I also don't support Pokemon X human ships. Again, sorry. Occasionally...and ONLY occasionally, will I like a possible pedoship (i.e. ironwill), if it seems to work REALLY well. But generally they just sicken me. I mainly support childhood pairings or rival pairings(ex.contestshipping and hitsuhina), but as with most things, there are always exceptions to this rule.(Ex. Penguinshipping, Ikarishipping, Twinleafshipping, etc.) Top 10 fave. anime/manga/game guys (A definite reason for all of them is that they're HOT! Very shallow, I know...XP): 1. Toshiro Hitsuguya (1. He's hot. 2. His sword is a dragon. A DRAGON!) 2. Gaara (Hm...Hard to explain why I like Gaara. It's complicated...) 3. Soul Eater Evans (Soul's cool, no need for a longer explanation) 4. Harvar (He's so cool, 'specially during the fight against Kim/Jackie in Baba Yaga's Castle!) 5. Ruby (He's pretty strong, but hides it. If he really existed though, I'd probably get annoyed w/him...) 6. Gold (He's just so crazy and fun!) 7. Ulquiorra (Ulquiorra has a definite cool factor about him...) 8. Death the Kidd (He would be ranked higher, but if you read Soul Eater, you'll understand why he's 8. ;p) 9. Green (He's like Ulquiorra, they both have green eyes and calm/cool personalities.) 10. Brendan (I dunno if he and Ruby are the same person, but Brendan seems really sweet in the games.) Top 10 favorite Pokemon Special characters: 1. Ruby (I like his apperance for one thing and he's really strong, he just keeps it hidden.) 2. Crystal (I know a lot of people dislike her, but she's one of my fav., because she's the most similar to me, except she's cooler...) 3. Sapphire (She's no pushover and will stand up to anyone!) 4. Gold (Again, he's fun and stands by his decisions.) 5. Green (Cool and kind of mysterious...) 6. Blue (Mischievious, sly, and fun.) 7. Yellow (She's sweet and cute. I don't think anyone could really hate Yellow.) 8. Silver (Like Green, he's got a mysterious aura about him, but he still cares for others.) 9. Platina (She's got an air of authority, but she isn't too snobby.) 10. Red (Meh...he's okay, but he's too typical of a hero character.) Top 10 favorite Soul Eater Characters: 1. Harvar D. Eclair (He acts super cool and aloof; and his name is awesome!) 2. Soul Eater Evans (He acts cool and looks cool) 3. Marie Majolnir (Ah, Marie. XD She's hilarious, what else can I say?) 4. Franken Stein (Stein is a weirdo; in a good way.) 5. Tsubaki Nakatsukasa (Strange, I just find Tsubaki a good character; very loyal and kind, like Yellow) 6. Free (Free XD. Everytime he shows up, I laugh at least once.) 7. Jacqueline O. Lantern Dupre (Like Harvar, her name is cool. Plus she's loyal to her friends, so she's also cool.) 8. Death the Kidd (Again, would be higher but...XD) 9. Maka Albarn (Strange, I don't find Maka that appealing as a character...) 10. Kirikou Lungu/Pot of Fire & Pot of Thunder (They have to be together to make my top 10 fav.!) My Sword: (Quiz result of "What is the name of your sword? (on Quizilla by kittenplush66)) Name: Hiroto Copies & Pastes (Also very long...) Spread the Stupidity Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER ... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while. If you defend Brendan Birch, copy and paste this onto your profile, please. 92 of the teen population would be dead if Aberombie and Fetch decided that breathing wasn't cool!!Put this on your profile if you would be one of the 8 laughing hysterically in the background Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, AnimeGirl329, Sharpiequeen666, Contestshipper, uchihakiriko,beautifly-soul,DawnzNo1, 0x Emo Contestshipper x0, aqua-dragon28 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy and past this to your profile. 98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. 96 percent of teenagers are obsessed with being normal and fitting in. If you are part of the 4 percent who say "Stuff you. I am who I am." then put this on your profile for the world to see 99.8 of anime fans are obsessing over Naruto. If you are the last few of the clan who can think up three better animes than this, paste this on your profile. Sorry Naruto fans. If you defend Brendan Birch, copy and paste this onto your profile, please. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you've ever fallen madly in love with a cartoon/anime character, copy and past this to your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. 98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If you're one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: Soul Eater Evans, Toshiro Hitsugaya, Death the Kidd, Harvar D. Eclair. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If your favorite pairings are the ones that are rarely written, rarely thought of, hated or given a "WTF?!" by others, and you're PROUD of it, copy and paste this onto your profile. 15 Things to do when your in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!" 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go" This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Friends & Best Friends FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAM we really messed up FRIENDS: Never seen you cry BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue" FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life FREINDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) BESTFRIENDS: Are for life FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste FREINDS: Will ignore this BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this Girls Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did. One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions. It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn. I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight. Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it. If all else fails, try reading the instructions. Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying! I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me. Smart is sexy. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. If you can't convince them, confuse them. Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!" My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem... Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder. Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies… When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. Perfect men are only fictional. Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within. Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. God must love stupid people; He made so many. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a life time commitment for a pig. The trouble with life is there's no background music. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on. WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Fun things to do on an elevator: Try them today, kids! 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" THE MAN RULES It's simply hilarious. Oh, and I didn't write this, by the way. I have no idea who did. I'm not a guy, either. ALL OF THEM ARE NUMBERED ONE JUST BECAUSE. 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOUR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. my mother taught me about JUSTICE. Guy: Where have you been all my life? Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Guy: Is this seat empty? Guy: Your place or mine? Guy: So, what do you do for a living? Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign? Guy: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Guy: Your body is like a temple. Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you. Guy : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together (if ur a girl that would say stuff like that then post this on your profile) --The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples." --The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead." --One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" --A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." ~Chinese Horoscope~ DO NOT CHEAT, OR IT WON'T WORK, AND YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN'T. TAKE 3 MINUTES TO TRY THIS. DO NOT READ AHEAD. IT'S WORTH IT... 1.Get pen & paper. 2.When choosing names, make sure they are REAL PEOPLE that you ACTUALLY KNOW. 3.Go w/ your FIRST INSTINCTS! (Very important for accurate results). 4.Scroll down ONE LINE AT A TIME. DON'T READ AHEAD 5.On a blank sheet of paper, write numbers 1-11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. to NUMBERS 1 & 2, write down ANY 2 NUMBERS you want. to NUMBERS 3 & 7, write down the names of TWO MEMBERS of the OPPOSITE SEX. (If gay, SAME SEX names) CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD, OR IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT. 8.Write down ANYONE'S NAME (friend or family) next to 4, 5, and 6. DON'T CHEAT. 9.Write down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11. 6. Finally, MAKE A WISH. Are you ready? ... HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME: The number of people that LIKE YOU is found in SPACE 2. The person in SPACE 3 is the one YOU LOVE. The person you LIKE but the relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7. YOU CARE MOST about the person you put in SPACE 4 . The person in SPACE 5 is the one that KNOWS YOU VERY WELL. The person in SPACE 6 is YOUR LUCKY STAR. The song in SPACE 8 matches w/ the person in SPACE 3. The song in SPACE 9 is for the person in SPACE 7 The 10th SPACE tells you the MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND. And 11 is the song telling you HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE. NUMBER ONE is your LUCKY NUMBER. Repost this w/n AN HOUR of reading this. If you do, YOUR WILL WILL COME TRUE. I found these on someone's profile and thought they really funny. If you thought they were funny and started laughing while reading them like I did, copy and paste them into your profile. On a Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos! On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swanson frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: On Nytol Sleep Aid: On most brands of Christmas lights: On a Japanese food processor: On Sunsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a child's superman costume: On a Swedish chainsaw: On T-Rat (Military food): Well, I hope you had a "fun" time reading all this. Please read my stories and review! |
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