Grimmjow: Four to Love

Beta: OveractiveImagination39

A huge thanks to Anlapis, who drew the cover for both stories. A link to her page on deviantart dot com is on my profile.

Chapter 11 - Four to Love

Grimmjow ran, carelessly pushing past the other guests, and by doing so, caused an even bigger ruckus. However he never noticed. Once he had left the gallery he headed straight to his car. The jaguar sprang to life and carried him away from the truth, and the ones he loved. Still as far as he would go, there was no escape for him and no way back.

Ulquiorra knew - Grimmjow had seen it in his friend's eyes. Just as he had glimpsed the exact moment it had also dawned on Orihime. They would ask Nelliel, and he was sure that she would not deny what had happened between her and Grimmjow only a week earlier.

For a second he felt remorse that he had left Nelliel behind. Yet what could he say? Nothing - there was nothing he could possibly say now to make things right. Hell, knowing his past record he would most likely have given into the temptation to lie again, and dig himself into bigger shit, if such a thing was even possible. None of them would believe that he never had the intention to hurt one of them. Especially not Ulquiorra, who always had been the calculated, detached one; the one that always thought things through.

Grimmjow took in a shuddering breath while he drove too fast down the streets of their town. The day he had met Schiffer again, had be one of the happiest in his life. He had missed the little prick a lot more than he had been aware of. Yet now, with him crossing the line, their friendship was lost forever. And what of Orihime? The idea that she would want to face him again, was out of the question. He had cheated and lied to her.

Above him more and more streetlights flickered, or were already dead, but Grimmjow kept driving. And while the outside world turned darker and more rotten by each block he passed, he felt at home. He had lived in this part of town for many years. In those days, all he ever had wanted was to escape from here and live the life he just had thrown away.

Now he was back in the same pitiful spot where everything had begun. Grimmjow parked the Jaguar and headed towards the only illuminated building on the shady street. On the way he bumped into a man who threatened to fall, but Grimmjow caught him. He wanted to rid of him quickly, but as soon as the old man found his balance again, he sputtered, his speech slurring heavily, "Wait, aren't you the old Jaegerjaquez´s kid? Oh boy you look just like your dad... just like your dad."

Grimmjow stumbled backwards, his eyes wide, staring at the drunkard. The man coughed loudly before spitting a gross mix of tobacco and phlegm on the ground by his feet. Nobody had ever dared to tell Grimmjow that he looked like his father, because if somebody ever had tried he would have beaten the shit out of him for such an insult.

Now he wasn't sure any more. What he had done to Orihime and Ulquiorra proved the opposite. He really wasn't any better than his old man. Grimmjow continued walking backwards, away from the drunkard, who had turned around and staggered away.

While the other already had forgotten him, his harmless words brought Grimmjow to his knees. When he reached the light of the shady door, he pushed it open and entered the shelter that Rick's promised. Inside his feet carried him directly to the bar, where he slumped down on a free stool.

With shaking hands he placed some bills on the counter, "Whiskey! You will do a refill until I say stop."

The bartender gazed at him, reaching for the money he said, "The keys to your car, mister. That's the rule."

Grimmjow stood, grabbed the man by the collar, and pulled him inches to his face, "You'll do as I say. I am not one of these fucking kids that hang out here." Then he pushed the bartender back and added the rest of the cash he had in his wallet to that already on the counter.

With a raised eyebrow the bartender brushed over his vest and tugged it back into place before he filled a glass to the brim.

Grimmjow gulped the whiskey down. Once again his life had come to a dead-end and this time there would be no stray puppy and no Orihime to catch him and give his life a new purpose. No hope that Ulquiorra ever would talk to him again either. All the things he valued he had jeopardized. Nothing was left.

More Whiskey went down Grimmjow´s throat. He was sick of being himself. Sick of always acting without thinking, and all he wanted was to forget. Yet most of all he wished to forget that he was his father's son.

Even if he already felt lightheaded the rest of his body still was heavy with guilt, and the old drunkard's words clung to his mind.

Impatiently Grimmjow called the bartender. The man shook his head in lack of understanding, but nonetheless refilled the glass. "Fuck you," Grimmjow murmured as he reached for his drink. How many more drinks would he need before he blacked out? It had been a long time since he had tried. This wouldn't end well yet he didn't care, and again the thought made him sick. He should care and fight it because it was the right thing to do.

However, for what? What his heart desired was lost to him forever.

Once more his hand moved towards his drink. Unexpectedly, someone stopped him and Grimmjow shifted his gaze. Pale fingers held his wrist, and it took him a moment to realize that the hand belonged to Ulquiorra.

"I left the girls back at the gallery. Both are pretty upset, but more so they are afraid you will do something stupid if left to your own devices."

Grimmjow's whole body grew numb. The world around him spun and his heart thundered so loud, that he didn't understand what his friend added.

An answer. He should say something, anything, but Grimmjow was unable, and a part of him hoped that Ulquiorra would stop talking and beat the shit out of him instead. He deserved it, and his friend must be angry, more so furious. But most of all – disappointed.

Yet nothing happened. Instead his little prick slowly sat down on the free stool next to him. Another heavy wave of guilt washed over Grimmjow and he was unable to deal with it. Once more the urge to run away rushed over him but Ulquiorra took hold of his upper arm. A moment later Grimmjow felt his friend's gaze upon him. His cheeks burned, and embarrassed his head dropped lower. He was such a coward.

"Grimmjow, talk to me," Ulquiorra pleaded softly.

After some time Grimmjow summoned his courage, looked up and faced his friend.

+o+o+

Half an hour later Grimmjow sat next to Ulquiorra in a taxi his friend had called. They were on their way back to the gallery where Nelliel and Orihime were waiting.

Grimmjow looked down at the large paper mug with coffee in his hands. They had talked and the outcome still felt like a miracle to him. He was a moron and an idiot, but still able to call the little prick his friend.

Ulquiorra wasn't a forgiving man by nature, at least not when he was without fault. However in this case his friend wasn't blameless, and that was part of the miracle, Grimmjow still was unable to believe.

Ulquiorra's revelation that what happened between Nelliel and him also had happened between the little prick and Orihime was stunning when he had first spoken of it. Yet now that Grimmjow knew about their affection for each other, a lot of things made sense. Like the way Orihime had dressed up today - which she hadn't done for him but for Ulquiorra. If he thought about it now, it was so obvious, like a slap in the face.

He would have noticed it if he only hadn't been so wrapped up in his own world of desire and guilt for Nelliel.

Grimmjow gazed up. Ulquiorra had turned his head and looked out of the window, lost in his own thoughts. What he had done was not forgiven, Grimmjow knew it, and not only because the little prick had told him. They both had crossed a line, and like in the past to rebuild the trust, they needed time. What mattered was that they both were at fault, even if Ulquiorra hadn't gone as far as he had and only had kissed Orihime. For the little prick, with his high moral standard, this action was as bad as Grimmjow's infidelity with Nelliel.

Yeah, in the end it was like it always had been; they were so different and also the same in other ways. Since the beginning of their strange friendship they always tried to understand the other and look beyond all the flaws and failures, and this made him an even bigger idiot that he had forgotten it.

Suddenly Ulquiorra turned his head and faced him. Grimmjow didn't look away though it was hard. The guilt was still there - the guilt and a new fear.

Orihime loved his friend and she never had tried to hide the fact. Like Ulquiorra, she was too honest and untainted to even try it. Grimmjow had been happy about her fascination for his pale friend, without noticing how deep her feelings went. At the same time Orihime never had stopped loving him like Grimmjow still loved her and wanted her to be happy. However deep down he always had known that he wasn't the right man for her. The harder he had tried, the worse it had become, and they would have ended like his parents, no matter that Ulquiorra had ensured him that he was a better man than his father.

In his heart Grimmjow knew, he wasn't. Orihime was a strong woman but too empathic. In the end, he would have used this against her. He was too selfish and short-tempered. No, he needed someone who wouldn't relent easily, who stood her ground and was confident enough to tell him to fuck off. Someone who he knew could walk away any time.

Nelliel was that someone, and Ulquiorra was willing to accept Grimmjow's feelings for Nelliel, yet he warned him that if he ever would hurt her, he would beat the shit out of him.

Grimmjow's gazed dropped back to the paper mug in his hand. Hell yes, he wanted Nelliel not only because of the sexual sensation she promised, but also because she would put him in his place. The little prick's threat was unnecessary; Grimmjow believed that Nelliel was able to bring him to his knees, not only physically, but emotionally, and with words. This was what Grimmjow feared the most right now.

Orihime would find happiness with Ulquiorra, and maybe after some time, his friendship with the little prick would be as unstrained as in the beginning. However, Nelliel was a different story.

Though Ulquiorra also had told him that Nelliel only had stayed with him for reasons similar to why Grimmjow had held onto his relationship with Orihime: To save the other from being alone and ensure their happiness, he wasn't at all sure about her feelings.

His heart constricted and he gripped his knee tightly. Truth to be told, Grimmjow feared that he only had been a temporary escape for Nelliel based on the sexual tension they experienced with the other. She was an independent woman who needed nobody. On the other hand, his relationship with Orihime had taught him one thing, that he on the contrary needed someone. Not only to wash his pants, but more so his head.

Suddenly Ulquiorra placed a hand on his.

"Nelliel truly loves you," his friend said like he had read his mind.

Grimmjow looked up. He still was impressed at how much understanding the little prick showed. However, like his own relationship, Ulquiorra's with Nelliel had changed. They all were feeling different now.

"Believe me, I am scared as well, but it is better to face the truth than to live a lie like we had in the past weeks."

Grimmjow turned his own hand and gripped Ulquiorra's.

"What will become of us? Of us four?"

Ulquiorra shook his head. "I don't know but we will figure it out."

+o+o+

The gallery was quiet, all the guests had left. Only the lesbian and the gay looked curious when they entered, but said nothing.

Grimmjow followed Ulquiorra to Nelliel´s office. Before opening the door both men faced each other and took in a deep breath. Then Ulquiorra gently pushed the door wide. Their girls sat on the couch, a bottle of wine on the floor. They stood and smiled.

Orihime walked over to Grimmjow and surprised him by pulling him into a short, but tight embrace. After that she stepped back until she stood next to Ulquiorra. Nelliel also joined, and for a long moment they all four just stood there in a circle facing each other.

Once again Orihime was the first one who moved. Her fingers slipping on one side between Ulquiorra´s and on the other side she took hold of Grimmjow's hand. Ulquiorra mirrored her example and offered his hand to Nelliel. Shyly Nelliel took it and Grimmjow´s and her hand found each other as well.

"No more lies. Promise," Orihime simply said pressing Grimmjow's hand. Then she gave everybody a smile. It still held some uncertainty yet it came from the heart and was as honest as the one that lay on Nelliel´s lips.

Ulquiorra only nodded and looked Grimmjow deep in the eye, silently agreeing.

It was obvious that they still had to discuss a lot of things. Yet when Grimmjow searched the others' faces for a hidden grudge he couldn't find any. When he once again faced his friend Ulquiorra, whose warm green eyes still showed a deep determination, Grimmjow realized that as complicated and painful as the past weeks had been for him and his friends, he never wanted to miss a single moment.

Because in the end, they were not more than four people who had fallen in love with each other.

FIN.

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading, reviewing and sticking with OveractiveImagination39 and me even though updates came not regulary and it often took a long time.

My chapter is shorter than hers because I had to face the problem, that she had all the dialog and I did not want to repeat it. I tried but it didn't work and her chapter felt perfect the way it was. So I adjusted mine and skipped that part. If you belong to those who normally do not read her part I suggest to do this time, if you feel that mine is a little rushed.

In case you believe that in reality it never would happen that the four would stay friends than I can ensure you that something like this did happen. The idea of this story is based on what happened to me and a befriended couple. Our stories were a little more complicated but in the end we all truly stayed friends and became very happy with our new partners.

Now, that 42L is done I will go back to Down with the Sun. I plan to work on Chapter 25 after Christmas.