If you know for a fact that ALL authors who have the '98 percent of teens do drugs' statistic are liars, copy and paste this into your profile.

Oh, and before you cry and scream that your statistic is The Ultimate Truth, I can PROVE you're wrong. See the bolded paragraphs toward the bottom of this page for details.

On top of that... If your know for a fact that the '95 percent of people are concerned about fitting in' thing is fake, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I have proof for this one, too - in fact, by claiming to be in the opposing 5 percent, you're just making yourself look more and more normal by the second. Hope you didn't want this to secure your uniqueness! (Scroll on down!)

Hello. You've reached the brain of FluffleNeCharka, creator of many fanfics. She is not in right now, or if she is she's somewhere else on the site reading fanfics and ignoring you all.

Age: 19

Birthday: November 15th. Oh, and I figured out the exact time I was born. It was 9:27 in the morning in the original time zone I was born in, and 7:25 in the morning where I live currently.

Bloodtype: O. No one in my family remembers if it's positive or negative, though. Which makes me wonder what other medical information we're lacking. (Way to go, mom and dad!)

Height: 5"2. But I wear heels all the time to try to boost my height up, since everyone around me is way taller than I am.

Weight: 130 pounds.

Favorite fandoms: Well, the HP fandom can be laughably bad and goregeous beyond words at the same time. However, the Psychonauts fandom is where I got my start. The trolls there convinced me to really get into slash writing just to spite them. (Yes, I trolled the trolls. Try saying that three times fast!) And the Fillmore fandom sticks to canon in ways that warm my heart, so much love for them.

Things I despise: People who believe that there can be no OCs, AUs, out of canon pairings, character death in fanfics. Screw you people; everyone deserves to write whatever they think is a neat idea. The color yellow also annoys me, as do cosplayers who act as if cosplaying is serious business, T-shirts with ads on them, people who can't spell character's names right, and ANYONE AND EVERYONE who says, "I was gonna/going to say..." and never finishes their sentence. I was gonna say is not a sentence, nor does it contribute anything to the conversation. If you don't know what you were going to say, then shut up.

Things I like: Writing pairings that I think are cute, the color purple, cosplayers like Sailor Bubba who make us all laugh and cringe, T-shirts with funny messages on them, tea, and people who leave funny or constructive reviews. Also, Robin from Witch Hunter Robin's hairstyle is pure love. And, as you can see, disconnected rambling is sort of a theme with me when I'm not writing fanfic. In fic, I swear I'm much more organized. But the lists of random and disconnected things? That's actually how I speak in real life. Seriously.

Fanfics that disturb me: Fanfics with bad, unresearched and unnecessary Japanese/foreign language usage, historically inaccurate fanfics (trains weren't around in the 1400's!), and slang. American hipster slang coming out of a Japanese's characters mouth makes no sense, and I doubt British people use 'chillaxation' and 'blinging' in their everyday speech. Oh, and I'm beginning to dislike incest fic, because it's always the same thing - romantic tension builds, one of the couple was adopted, angst, who are my real parents, then romance ensues. At this point I just bypass this whole genre of fic, since I already know the plot and how it will end from the summary alone. GET A PLOT, people.

My Thoughts on Pairings: A Summation

You may have noticed that while most people have a list of pairings that they like and dislike, I've removed that from my profile recently. It isn't that I'm not proud of my preferences or afraid of the big bad flamers. It's that all of you are taking fanfic way too seriously. Why are you all screaming, hurling profanity and making death threats at each other over this?

At the end of the day these are fictional characters. Which fictional characters would make a good couple is not that important. It really isn't. If you were proven right by canon or word-of-the-creators it really wouldn't matter. It wouldn't improve your life any. It wouldn't help any of your real-life problems resolve themselves, nor would it justify the sheer amount of time you would still have spent on a fictional universe. At the end of the day this is all just semi-illegal fiction based on fiction, and a lot of people have lost sight of that.

Fanfic is not that important. Fiction is not that important. Those cruel and vicious words coming out of your mouth are directed at another human being, you know. Is it worth it to ruin the day of a real flesh and blood person? You're not talking about a real thing, you're talking about fiction. No piece of fiction should be so important to you that you'll hurt, berate and shun real human beings. That person may disagree with you on one thing, but they're very similar to you. They like to read, they like romance, they like writing, they even like the same show as you do. Why would you be rude and condescending to someone who is so similar to you? Logically you should be friends.

Since I know that obviously not all writers can be friends with each other, I've decided to join Twilight's Team Switzerland movement. It works like this: rather than promote one pairing over all others and laughing at others, I will simply not comment on the ship wars in any of the fandoms I am in. Join me, if you will, in the Team Switzerland Multi-Fandom Pledge, which has since been changed by countless people to a hundred odd variations in support of fandom:

I will not say any pairing is stupid, wrong, sick, bad, or disgusting. I will not say anything that would start a flame war or rile up other people. I will not express the ideology that my preferred pairing(s) is (are) better than all others. I will not mock anyone for their choice in pairing, nor will I cite canon against people who ship a non-canon pairing. I will not join in any on-going flame wars. In all my writing, I will warn for the pairing and refuse to respond to flames/reviews that are an obvious attempt to get me to fight over what I've written. I will cognitively realize that people who write a different pairing than I do have every right to do so and I will respectfully leave them alone to write in peace. I will remain aware at all times that writing is supposed to be about enjoying fiction, thus realizing that there is no reason to get worked up over it. If I ever find myself in the position of moderator, admin or other site power, I will enforce a strict no ship war and anti-flame policy to the best of my abilities over as many people as possible.

Sincerely Pledged,

Fluffle Ne Charka

(If any of you decide to pass the pledge along in your own profile, feel free to tell me. I love meeting other peace-minded authors and you can never have too many friends. Go Team Switzerland!)

Also, I do not character bash under any circumstances, and seeing people go on and on about how they want a character to die makes me lose respect for them. Grow up. This isn't middle school, even if you're in one; you reveal yourself to be extremely hateful and petty when you make such statements.

Dear every self righteous, overly dramatic author ever to receive a bad review or opposing opinion:

Slander is legally defined as something spoken out loud. Furthermore, it must be untrue and harmful to you in some tangible way, be it financially or a blow to your reputation.

So no matter how hurt you are, a review, forums post, OTP, or Mary Sue report on your MS are all NOT slander. Call me cruel, but you're not taking financial damage from someone calling your character bad. And if you act out, you can destroy your own reputation more than any reviewer ever could.

Maturity. Please exercise some.

Law of Logic: If at any point in an argument, you say GET A LIFE, you've lost the argument. It takes mere minutes to argue, and if you think someone spending 5 minutes on something has no life outside that thing, you do not grasp the passage of time correctly and suffer from short term memory loss, prompting you to think five minutes is a thousand years long. People who say 'get a life' = idiotic middle schoolers with victim complexes, no exceptions. (Unless you really, truly DO have a memory problem, in which case I apologize and your defense was valid. Now go seek help, because that's not something you take two Advil for and ignore.)

A US government study showed that actually, ONLY fourty percent of the teen population has done or tried drugs. Therefore, sorry to say, you are NOT zomg teh uber!speshul for saying you haven't done drugs in your profile. You're NORMAL, please get over it. You're identical to three fifths of the population. Do the math. It's a proven fact based on a study done by highly qualified professionals, so shut up. What?

Oh, you believe 98 percent of the teen population does/has tried drugs? Do you have any proof?

...You believe that because some kid on DeviantArt had it in his signature? Some kid, who you don't know? He draws pretty pictures, so you believe everything he says? That's just pathetic. I have a verified study done by people much more credible than some random person whose name you can't remember that says you are a normal teen. Not special, wonderful, righteous, unique and amazingly strong willed. AVERAGE. Ever notice how no one can actually recall where this came from? Of course they can't - it's an urban legend, not a fact. Facts can be cited. Urban legends roam free. And yet you believe them, even though you have no proof it's true. Why? -valley girl voice- Cuz its popular and all da cool fanfic writers have it! -facepalm- Don't you people know how to use Google? That's all it took to debunk this thing.

Really, with 50 percent of fanfic writers claiming to be drug free, anyone stupid enough to believe the 98/2 percentile thing shouldn't be surprised that they're wrong. When everyone you know is claiming to be part of a 2, it should be obvious they aren't. There's too many of them! To believe such nonsense, you have to accept that liked by mainstream equals fact, instead of proven fact equals fact. And honestly? If you think popular = fact, then you've lost a lot my respect for you right there.

You want something to copy and paste to make yourself feel better? I got a c&p for you that sounds a thousand times better than the 98 vs 2 percent one:

99 percent of all fanfic writers believed that '98 percent of the teen population has done drugs' statistic. If you live in reality and need actual PROOF and EVIDENCE before believing such blatantly untrue, physically impossible bullshit, DO NOT copy and paste this. Go out and get a bagel or something and move on because being internet-cool doesn't matter. Congratulations, unlike those who say 'I'm in the 2 percent that doesn't do drugs, so I'm special!', YOU can now rest assured that you are actually special, because you are in the 1 percent that doesn't believe everything people on the street say.

Enough of this 98 vs 2 percent crap. It makes no sense, it's been proven wrong by the United States government, and you people are making us all look like morons. Stop embarrassing your fellow fanfic writers with this. You're furthering the stereotype that fanfic authors are stupid by blinding believing everything everyone says to you. Stop being so desperate to verify your teen uniqueness, because at the end of the day, if you use something this obviously false, you're just like everyone else: foolish and unreasonable.

In other words, trying to be unique has made you commonplace.

(And non USA authors: If there was a country with that much pot, I think we'd all know it by now. I think most of my campus would have moved to your land, married your women and learned your language if that was in any way, shape, or form real. So no more PMs about how I don't understand how different things are in your area.)

The Asch Conformity Experiment (which most of you need to look up) proved that only 30 percent of us are really, truly concerned with fitting in to the point where it would change our opinions. Let that sink in: Not 95. 30. This means that you are not ZOMG SO SPESHUL!!11!1oneone just because you aren't concerned with fitting in. It makes you AVERAGE. You are an everyday person if you claim this, the exact same as 7 out of 10 people. Sorry to burst your bubble, but this, like the drug statistic, was made up by idiots on the street. And you believed idiots on the street who couldn't cite any references or proof, because you're desperate to be unique.

And by the way, with how many thousands and thousands of people post those 'copy and paste into your profile' things, how on Earth do you figure you're original or unique? You post the same statistics others do. You never look at FACTS, because that might interfere with you copying everyone else. For some of you, your profile can't even give me a clue to who you are because you've got dozens of copypasta lines. You think you're unique?

Oh, yeah, you're really original, unique and speshul.

All several hundred thousand of you.