A/N: A place to dump PokéSpe smuts. These will be variable in length and style; each chapter is a piece by itself.

take a walk on the wild side
number one
30 themes from 30 lemons

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001. Anonymity

If there was something that deeply bothered Green, it was the nights when he'd wake up in, hot and bothered over a stupid dream over a girl whose face he could never, ever remember (but whose voice always reminded him of someone).

002. The Audience

There was someone out there who hated him, Gold thought with a suffering, quiet groan, his left hand over Crystal's parted, panting mouth, the right one halting its services under her skirt, when he took notice that there was someone about to open the lab's door.

003. "Help, I'm Out Of Control, Thank God!"

This would be the last fucking time he would even bother to open his door to Blue, because it was two in the fucking morning and not everyone was delightfully unemployed and as he was about to explain her this, pulling his front door open, he found that he couldn't, because she was kissing him and pulling on his shirt and closing the door behind her...

004. The Thrill Of The Forbidden

"There are graduation thesis about these kinds of fetishes," Gold explained, leaning over her, his warm hand snaking across the forbidden zone between her tube socks and her skirt, and Crystal found herself swallowing in dry apprehension, because his face was closer and closer (and so was his hand).

005. "When In Rome..."

If she was in Celadon at the same time Green was, well, that was just a coincidence; but since they were here already, "well, why not check out the lover's cape by the north?" Blue suggested cheekily.

006. "Denial Isn't Just A River In Egypt!"

Sapphire was screaming at him, her face a startling shade of pink (a colour not unlike the satin dress he'd seen in Prada's catalogs), and Ruby took it as just another one of her puberty-driven tirades—but half a second later, she was on top of him, half-straddling him, their noses almost touching, and Ruby finally felt very aware of their gender differences, and of the dangerously triumphant tone of her voice as she whispered in his ear, "I guess you aren't that unaffected, if that thing against my leg is any indication."

007. "I Feel Pretty!"

Blue's nineteenth birthday was an unforgettable event—not because of the party per se, although it had been an extremely memorable event, but because of the small little number she somehow convinced Yellow to wear, a black, strapless thing that was on Red's mind for weeks after that.

008. The Phonebooth

Crystal only checked her voice mail at night, when she was home: free from her job, free to dive inside her bathtub, free to put on a jazz record while she played through the voice messages, free to feel her skin sizzle and burn when she realised just what kind of message Gold had left her.

009. Sex And Drugs

"What's an aph-ap-rodisiac-al?" Sapphire asked, straining to read the word; Ruby wordlessly took the magazine away from her and shoved it down his garbage can, fighting a sudden blush from spreading across his face, and ignoring Sapphire's protests that she was old enough to know what it was, or did he want her to ask her dad again, didn't he remember what the porn incident had been all about—"okay, okay, I'll tell you!" he hissed, turning his face away.

010. "Why Do The Bad Guys Always Have The Sexiest Uniforms?"

He was unable to decide if he was mortified or simply disappointed in himself, getting a stiff one just because Yellow was dressed in a Team Rocket uniform for a mission; the fact that the skirt was several inches over her knees and the fact that the shirt clung tightly to her chest were apparently the reasons as to why Red's body decided it was time to stop cooperating.

011. "The Sleeves On This Jacket Are A Bit Long, Sir."

Ruby realised belatedly that Blue and Gold were terrible influences on Sapphire - and horrible side-servings of her hormonal explosions - when she barged inside his room, wearing one of her father's old raincoats (and seemingly little else), and demanded he shortened its sleeves, or else.

012. The Garden

They were cutting the older branches of her uncle's backyard as a favour while he was away on holiday: him, holding the ladder, and her, managing the garden tools; in retrospect, Yellow probably shouldn't have worn a skirt, and Red probably shouldn't have looked up in concern when she accidentally scraped her finger, yelping.

013. "Giddyap!"

Blue knew Green would refuse to believe she'd fallen on him accidentally, but she hoped she would stay on top of him long enough for him to forget about that little snag on her plan and eventually decide that a harmless quickie wouldn't hurt anyone.

014. Virtual Reality

Crystal's expertise in computers ended where Gold's began, since she was a frequent user of data and archiving programs, while Gold was an avid gamer, usually playing poker or blackjack (and the occasional chess match) against the machine; of course that wasn't all he did on the computer, and Crystal was livid, to say the least, when he asked her what she thought of eroges,especially because he asked her to play one with him.

015. The Bordello

"This looks like a strip club," Ruby sniffed at Gold, indignantly, wishing he could gouge his eyes out once he saw the café attendants, wearing short-shorts and tight T-shirt with clashing colors; until he saw Sapphire bending over the counter with a "don't ask" smile, and promptly forgot how to form coherent sentences (he really hoped it was for an undercover mission, though).

016. "The Teacher Hit Me With a Ruler..."

He didn't know what was more embarrassing: the fact that Crystal had snapped at him like he was one of the kids she taught at the orphanage, her plastic ruler slapping across the back of his hand, or that he had liked it so much he'd groaned, leaving her staring at him open-mouthed and flushed.

017. "Underwater Wonders"

The only sea where you could dive was Hoenn's, and while that made Sapphire proud of her country, she couldn't really think about diving after all the weird ideas Gold and Blue had given her, involving bathing suits and the unnecessary need to breathe while having sex.

018. The Lockup

"What do you mean quarantine?" Blue half-shrieked, half-asked, staring at Green's soaked outfit, "What do you mean, we're locked here? What do you mean, for the whole night? What do you mean, I was the one who made you drop the vial? And," she smiled, stepping closer, touching at the lab coat with her fingers, "what do you mean you haven't got any spare clothes?"

019. The Gymnasium

She thought Gold helping her out with the physical education of the orphanage's kids was a great idea, and Crystal even thanked him for it, right up until the class was over and he pulled her into the storage room and, after pushing her up against the door, asked for a check-up.

020. First Timers

Ruby was a romantic, sure, but Sapphire's level of cheesy severely overpowered his, and he found this out when she took him by the hand to the secret cave where the two first met; he got honestly touched by the gesture, until she pressed a kiss on his lips, slow like honey (but then they gained speed and in-between hurried kisses and a startling increase of temperature, well ...).

021. "When I Think About You, I Touch Myself"

To Red, the otherwise normal - if a little hot - realization that Yellow was also a sexual being would've probably been much easier to learn if he hadn't been the witness to a particularly vivid dream of hers, complete with writhing, moaning and gasping; at first he thought it was a nightmare, which was why he'd walked inside the room she was sleeping in after Blue's New Year's party, concerned—and then he noticed where her sleeping hands were touching, for even though she was under the sheets it was pretty obvious (and he froze, by the door, open-mouthed and with a raging hard-on).

022. "Surprise! Guess Who's On Top Tonight?"

Despite Sapphire's inhuman strength, Ruby was more than capable to reduce her to a shivering, moaning, pathetically dependent mess; it of course depended on his mood to revisit his past self, but more often than not, Ruby found that the pros severely out-weighted the cons, and he liked it when she called out his name like that, either way (the slick touches of his fingers and tongue were just bonuses when in comparison).

023. Preventing Hypothermia

Gold would be lying if he said he hadn't dreamt of the always-a-favourite fantasy of him, Crystal and soaked clothes; which was why as they took cover in a cave while the storm outside raged, he could start feeling the slow burn of desire make its way down as she seemed to realize they were going to have to strip or face a really bad cold.

024. Doctor's In

It was just for Halloween, Red told himself for the twelfth time, as he averted his eyes from Yellow's bare legs (for the twelfth time), trying to breathe through his nose instead of through his mouth, trying not to stare at the fake stethoscope around her thin neck, trying not to wonder if she was wearing garter-socks under that short skirt, and wishing he hadn't gone as cowboy, because those leather pants were starting to get really uncomfortable...

025. The Planetarium

During the Fourth of July, they made plans to get together in Viridian and watch the stars and the consequential fireworks, but as she walked in on a couple making out for the third time, Crystal couldn't help but to think that they shouldn't have split up after all (and Gold kept insisting they had a great view from that lonesome clear over there, like she was stupid and couldn't tell he wanted some action too).

026. "It's Getting Hot In Here, So Take Off All Your Clothes"

"The AC system is broken," Green told her dryly, crossing his arms over his bare chest, and Blue did feel a little warm, but she wasn't sure it was from the heating conducts malfunctioning or from seeing him half-naked.

027. The Mile-High Club

"Have you ever thought of having sex while flying?" Gold asked once, out-of-the blue, and Crystal dropped her reports all over the floor, "It's just, I mean, some pokémon can be wide enough for two and - ow!"

028. "Oh, Is The Movie Over Already?"

Green almost couldn't look the tickets' guy in the eyes when they walked out of the movie theatre, Blue's lipstick just barely smudged and his fly hastily zipped up; when they were at a safe distance, he informed her he was never going to the movies with her again, to which she replied with a smile and a very warm kiss.

029. "Making Sweet Music"

It surprised her a little when Gold told her, off-handedly, that he'd had piano lessons when he was younger, because he just wasn't the type for a piano, he was more of a guitar kind of guy; a few weeks after that, he practiced for her, and Crystal found he could play very well, but in the end he just had to ruin it all, when he asked her if she wanted to see what else he could do with his fingers.

030. "Wow, Santa Never Brought Me That Kind of Toy!"

This was it, this was how he would die: he was going to die of embarrassment, watching her delighted expression shift into one of mortified confusion as she pulled the ... remote controlled ...thing out of the bag he had just handed her (somewhere behind him, Blue was laughing hysterically, while Gold choked on her birthday cake and had to be helped by Pearl); Yellow's flustered eyes didn't land on his for the rest of the afternoon, despite his attempts to explain that he had been horribly set up, and that his present was just an innocent, if expensive, pack of fishing bait.