Yes, I drew this horrible profile pic. Its terrible, isn't it? I know it is; just deal with it for now. I'll change it later.

Hi-hi peoples! My name is Elouise Jocilinda Pollyanna Theodora Clementine Victory! But, you can call me El.

I have calico hair and blue green eyes with an amber ring around the pupil.

(Actually that's a lie, I'm now old enough and mature enough to shed that alter ego. I have strawberry blonde hair and basically the same eyes, actually.)

NAME: My name in the real world? Are you a stalker?

Family: I have a little brother and my parents. And lots of pets.

Friends: I have two BFFs, Jamie Evans, and Victoria Hakadosi, but I have made many friends on this website!!

WHERE I LIVE: I live in Minnesota, U.S. and I have absolutely no life, so I'm mostly on the computer trying to come up with good stories people will actually LIKE.

Favorite Books/Manga/Anime: Shugo Chara, Tsubasa Resovoir Chronicles, xxxHOLIC, Zero no Tsukaima, Anima, Bakugan, Digimon, Lucky Star, Demashitaa Powerpuff Girlz Z, Witch Hunter Manhwa, Chibi Vampire, Akagami no Shirayuki-hime, Inuyasha, Inumimi, Munto, Soul Eater, Toradora, Ghost Hunt, and Pokemon. (Yes, that's a lot, I know, but I have more!! XD)

I have an account on FictionPress:Elouise Victory

I LIKE THESE THINGS!

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.

Everything I Learned In Life, I Learned From CLAMP

1. If you're not angsty, you should be.
2. There is no such thing as coincidence.
3. Evil takes the form of four Japanese mangaka.
4. Everything's better in alternate universes.
5. If you're precious to your brother, you're probably doomed.
6. Actually, if you're precious to anyone, you're doomed.
7. In fact, you're probably just doomed anyways.
8. Treasure your eyes. You never know when they'll be taken away.
10. Everything has a price.
11. The most powerful people are alcoholics.
12. Never trust the bunny/pork bun.
13. True love always prevails. Usually.
14. Love comes in all forms.
15. At least you're not Subaru.
16. Nothing says love like agreeing to be somebody's primary food source.
17. If someone comments on your eyes being pretty, you will probably lose them several chapters later.
18. Even if you and your beloved are a canon couple, by the end, you still won't have kissed.
19. Even in other series, you still will not kiss.
20. If your grandparents are constantly on vacation, they most likely don't exist.
21. Never carry your most treasured item around with you.
22. Everybody has an evil twin.
23. Tokyo Tower is, more than likely, the source of all evil.
24. If you're good-looking, you're doomed or angsty. Probably both.
25. Don't expect to live a happy life. You'll only be disappointed.
26. The more they smile, the harder they fall.
27. Your fan base is directly proportional to how angsty you are.
28. Everyone is pretty, even when bleeding or in agony.
29. Torture and mind games are just another way of showing you care.
30. Your boss is bad for you.
31. The world is split into three genders: male, female and androgynous.
32. Blood is aesthetic.
33. It's not real magic unless you can conjure a two-meter-wide magic circle.
34. Flat strips of paper can reach the same speed as an F1 race car.
35. Fire doesn't burn unless the plot requires it to.
36. No matter how ripped your shirt gets, it's not coming off.
37. Men with black hair and glasses (including sunglasses) cannot be trusted.
38. Anyone who says having magic powers is cool could not have been more wrong.
39. It's possible to store two swords and enough clothing for four people inside the mouth of a bunny/pork bun.
41. Four leaf clovers aren't as lucky as they're made out to be.
42. If you're a character voiced by Megumi Ogata/cool/fan favourite/bishounen, you're doomed.
43. Hell, you're in a CLAMP work. You're doomed.
44. Remember your dreams- they're the key to the plot.
45. If you can't whistle, "hyuu" instead.
46. If you feel someone's watching you, they probably are.
47. If he's tall, dark and handsome, he's taken - by the outrageously cute boy standing next to him.
48. Feathers have the ultimate power. Buy a chicken.
49. If your series is happy sugar-coated fairies and gay, you will most likely all die a horrible death at the hand of a psychotic clone.
50. Everything will be alright.
51. Just because you return from a journey, doesn't mean you'll return in one piece.
52. Everything happens in Tokyo.
53. Cute stuffed animals make the best magical servants.
54. Swords longer than your height are easy to manage.
55. Attack names/chants are more important than actual skill or experience.
56. Cherry blossoms are a sign of good luck.
57. Cherry blossoms are a sign of bad luck.
58. Cherry blossoms are - sod that, if you see cherry blossoms, run.
59. Even after your heart is pierced by someone's hand, you will still have plenty of time to divulge deep dark secrets/words of wisdom/angst/last words before you actually die.
60. Show your true love not by exchanging rings, but eyes.
61. No one is really happy. They're just hiding some dark secret.
62. Dressing someone up in cute but outlandish outfits is a sign of great love and affection.
63. The easiest way to solve a love triangle is to kill somebody.
64. Inanimate objects have feelings.
65. Eyes, especially magic ones, are in high demand.
66. Cosplay is completely normal in Tokyo.
67. Love your parents while you can.
68. The general public is oblivious to strange/supernatural/inexplicable/mysterious events/people/objects.
69. Don't give your name to strangers.
70. Wherever you are, there is a Miyuki somewhere in the background.
71. Apparently, magic allows you to eat other people's eyes like candy.
72. Walking between a fence and a lamp-post will send you to another time/dimension.
73. Never trust shop owners.
74. If you have a twin/clone/someone who looks like you, most likely one of you will die before the series is over.
75. It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye- then it's a pairing.
76. Everyone important has a birthday on April 1st.

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge
myth is more potent than history
dreams are more powerful than facts
hope always triumphs over experience
laughter is the cure for grief
love is stronger than death.

-Robert Fulghum

If you obssess or even like Ikarishipping just a little, copy & paste this in your profile!

If you think that Pokemon is cool, copy this into your profile

If you think little siblings are annoying, copy this into your profile

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

Anime is Life. Manga is life. Life is good. Parents suck for not buying you more life. If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you had a laughing fit for absolutely no reason copy and paste this on your profile

If you ever had a crush on one of your friends copy this into your profile

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you eat carbs and are proud, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile

If Harley (from Pokemon Season 8 and 9) scares you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile

If you have ever done something embarrassing in front of your crush, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile.

If you don't believe life is fair shit...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can’t fight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

If you wish more people were like your friends on fanfic, copy and paste this onto your pro

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota Balcu,"as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Martha Vs. Maxine

Martha: Stuff a marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Maxine: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You're probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Martha: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Maxine: Buy Hungry Jack mash potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of cry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Maxine: Go to the bakery! Heck they'll even decorate it for you!

Martha: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while its still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant fix-me-up!

Maxine: If you over-salt a dish while its still cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

Martha: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Maxine: Celery? Never heard of it.

Martha: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Maxine: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over crust, so I don't.

Martha: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Maxine: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains will go away!

Martha: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Maxine: Leftover wine?? HELLO!!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

Female Comebacks

Man: Have I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours and I go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, whats your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together

Woman: Really? 'Cause I'd put f and u together.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a hit woman. I kill only males that use dumb pick-up lines. Like you.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Funny Stuff:

All the good guys are either gay, married, or fictional characters in media.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants, don't you?

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, my dear children, but that is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect to get it back.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't.

!If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. Success = Failure!

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

When life hands you lemons, chuck 'em back at the guy who was demented enough to give them to you.

- Pick your birth month.
- Italic anything that doesn't apply to you.
- Bold the five-ten that best apply to you.
- Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months underneath.

Please keep in mind that I tend to exaggerate and brag XD I'm sorry! It's how I was raised! Seriously, my Great Uncle wanted me to be a model :O

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay (Why there aren't many stories are up). Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds (Never had one in my life). Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave andcaring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others Too generousand egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led.Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well.Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.(that's true about me and my friends)

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!

Best things to say when turning down a date:

"I have to save the world from an alien looking for it's hair brush."

"My llama ran away and that's the day we're going to look for it.''

"the mother ship is coming to get me."

"I have to remind my sister to blink."

''I'm putting all 437 of my Pokemon cards in ABC order."

"I watch new episodes of the Secret Saturdays alone, bud"

"I already have plans to go water skying in the desert with Santa."

'' I can't find my special under pants."

''The master wouldn't like me going out with you humans.''

''I have to go back to the future."

''I have to tie my shoe a million times that day."

"Do you smell food? I'll have to get back to on that."

Yes-someone else made these up ,but they really work!

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms

2) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss(OR other wise I will kill you.)

5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar

7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy

8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"

9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches

12) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"

13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor

15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate.

20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".

28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.

29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.

30) I will not send Snape a bar of soap for Christmas.

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3d glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. Sit in the front row.

When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"

Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.

Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?” No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?” Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?

15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

16 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Wal-Mart

1. Wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks what you're doing, scream “LOOK OUT!!” and push them behind a shelf

2. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take one.

3. Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream, “THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!” once the cashier tells you the price.

4. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some bananas.

5. When the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream “THE VOICES!! THEY'RE BACK!!”

6. Start a fish-stick fight.

7. Walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream “I MISSED YA, MAN!!”

8. (This requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming “The British are coming!! The British are coming!!”

9. Walk up to an employee and murmur “code red in aisle 3” and see what they do.

10. Slip a bra and one pair of lacey pink underwear into a really macho-looking man’s cart (Just make sure he doesn't have any girls with him).

11. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

12. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

13. Whisper "I know your "little secret"' to people in the checkout line.

14. Stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section. (Try saying you’re a turkey leg)

15. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...They want me to take you away...to aisle 8..."

16. On the announcer thing, start singing "Baby Got Back" bySir-Mix-Alot.

FUN WAY TO KILL TIME

Pick a book. Go to page 56, line 3, word 6. What does it say? with. Well, that's very normal.

What can you hear right now? My brother and his friends playing Halo. Did I mention they are 7?

Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you, other than yourself. yeah, note to self. Never talk to your cat and accidentally spill Pepsi on her.

Turn on the T.V. What show is on? Drake and Josh. Weee...

Type your name with your elbow. zak,lefsxcvasd. OMG! There are two names in it, Mine and the name 'Zak'! That's creepy.

What happened the last time you were typing on this computer? well, I typed. My mom yelled at me. And, I got the flu.

Stand up. Spin around 3 times. What do you see? A mounted deer head. And, he's staring at me...O.O

Find the third letter of all your answers. What do they spell? Tbaaklo. That's really close to tobacco! But, I don't smoke! It's very icky!

What High School Musical has Taught Us

1. If you wish to show your inability or dislike for dancing, it's perfectly reasonable to break out in a dance number.

2. College? It's not important, as long as you can hang out with your friends.

3. If your love is strong enough, fireworks will go off, and lanterns will fly away as you and your boyfriend kiss.

4. Playing sports is a hint that it's time to break into song.

5. Don't worry about being rude/mean because in the end things will work out for you.

6. School spirit is a must. Especially during the summer.

7. Your friends are not human and should always be addressed by the name of their school mascot.

8. Yes! You can paint your locker pink! Screw the school board.

9. You can be a chef, lifeguard, or golf assistant...no experience needed!

10. A guy can never wear too much bronzer.

11. Lakes are the equilivant of mirrors. They can show your reflection perfectly!

12. It is possible to memorize a 3 minute song over the course of 30 seconds...and sing it perfectly!

13. It doesn't matter that you're not a staff member... You can still attend any and all staff events.

14. The phrase 'more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match' is something that can be used in everyday conversation

15. There are two bells that get you out of school. The first one tells you to start singing and dancing, the second announces you should stop.

16. Even though its the last day of school, its okay to leave stuff in the locker for the summer.

17. If your family is 'saving pennies' for your college education and gives you a junky truck to drive because they 'can't afford anything else', it is normal for their kitchen to have expensive granite counter tops and a 7,000 fridge.

18. Pianos can float now. Go ahead, try it.

19. It's perfectly acceptable for a guy to wear girl's capris.

20. If you're upset, just run through a golf course, jumping and spinning, while singing 'Bet on it'...you won't fall at any point, and no one will stop and think 'what the hell?'.

21. You can send telepathic messages to your mom to tell her to pick you up just as you're finishing your breakup song with your boyfriend.

22. A resort can be highly successful when there are way more employees than guests.

23. 'And she stepped on the ball' is actually quite funny. You just need to put it into context.

24. One family can apparently control an entire city, including all educational institutions in the area.

25. It's good manners to refer to your mother as a 'backstabber'

26. Turkey imported from Maine is much better than any other turkey. In fact, it's fabulous...

27. Apparently, it is now possible to hire an entire high school to be the staff at an upscale country club.

28. Iced tea from England is blue

29. Water Bug is a really cute, funny, and romantic pet name. -gags- Gah, my god, Rowsely...

30. Being a teenage paparazzi at school and taking multiple pictures of the same two people is not weird or creepy in any way

31 .When your girlfriend tells you that your shoes don't match your tie, you must do a stupid looking surfer move to see if she's right, you can't just look down.

32. Take two small saucepan lids and bang them together. You'll find they make the exact same sound as a large GONG. Go on, have a go.

33. It IS possible to have any object in the world come in pink & engraved with your initials.

34. If you are the basketball star of your school, you can get yourself, as well as the rest of the school, summer jobs.

35. Lava Springs apparently had no employees, since they had to hire a whole new staff.

36. Don't change your friends, change your dreams.

37. 'What team?' 'Wildcats!''GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!' can fix any problem.

38. Basketball scholarships at the University of Albuquerque depend completely on your musical performance skills

39. Guitars and speaker equipment can be placed near a pool safely.

40.When you frolic with your girlfriend in the golf course, you get in trouble. When you frolic by yourself and sing, nothing happens, of course.

the Dark Side (EVILsingingllama created these awesome points!)

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was tacos and Elvis was at the jukebox.)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!(good guys get bath robes.)

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWAHAHAHAHA -cough cough-!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason! Evilsingingllama calls Russia. Then...I call Africa! Its HUGE! I'll call it 'Land of the Rendezvous'.

ONLY IN AMERICA...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter

...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures

NAMES!(I'm using my account name)

1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Eloizzle? Huh?

2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (color and animal): Turquoise squirrel? What, is it sick? Am I sick?!

3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name) Jocilinda West? That's kinda...I dunno...

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name)Vicellyn. Wow, that sounds pretty. That can’t be me.

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (color, drink) Green Pepsi? Man, I must lose a lot.

6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Lcoyrle? That just sounds weird. It fits me perfectly.

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name) Anne? (Actually, I don't know my mother's middle name! I keep forgetting!)

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets) Black Barney? OMG! That sounds so wrong!

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fruit, and something that can go wrong) Cantaloupe Idea! WOOOO! GO CANTALOUPE! IDEAS SUCK! THOUGHTS MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE!

10. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (color, pirate accessory) Purple Parrot! WOOOO! Squawk, Polly wanna party! (Starts disco dancing)

Reasons why girls are the best

1. We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, free dinners, free movies... you get the point.

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people still find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

30. We can have men do what we want by merely unbuttoning our shirts.

If you absolutely LOVE contestshipping copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. (EMO IS A TYPE OF 80'S MUSIC)
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe that Gay people will go to Hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be f-ing them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE... So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. (I sometimes wear guys clothes because I find them more comfortable)
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so it MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake (I'm only a perfectionist at times)
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I Say Black
You Say Hannah Montana
I Say Avril Lavigne
You Say Jonas Brothers
I Say Linkin Park
You Say Zac Efron
I Say Everyone is better then Zac Efron
You Say Rap
I Say Rock
You Say I'm Weird
I Say Thank you
PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE!

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk is good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

'There are very few problems that cannot be solved using a large amount of explosives.'

'It is not enough to succeed; others must fail.'

'Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.'

'You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor...'

'When you laugh, I'll laugh. When you cry, I'll cry. When you jump out a window...I'll laugh.'

'A B C D E F G, I will kill your family.'

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

Random story telling time!

I was in my science class one day, and the annoying boy who sat next to me was bothering me. I snapped at him, telling him to leave me alone. He scoffed and asked me, "Wow, PMS much?" My immediate reply was, "Yes. If you hadn't noticed, I'm currently on my period." He stared at me for a little bit before moving his chair to the far end of our table. And, since then and until the school year ended, every couple of weeks, he would ask me if my period had started. When I said no, he bothered me, if I said yes, he would sit on the far end of the table.

The moral of the story is: PMS does suck, but it can be useful when trying to get an annoying boy to stop pestering you.

By the way, I really was on my period during that time.

How to Annoy your enemies.

1) Mock them

2) Stalk them

3) Spread rumors about them (what you learnt from the stalking)

4) Yell at them

5) Make friends with their friends

6) Tell them their friend aren't their real friends

7) Act completely different to them

8) Tell them the truth

9) Make friends with them, then betray them

10) Talk about them 'behind their back' really loud

11) Draw on their workbooks

12) 'Accidently' throw up on them

13) Do stuff they hate

14) Hit them

15) Ignore them

16) Always smile

17) Say 'I hate you too'

18) Say 'Be nice to nerds 'cause you're gonna work for them one day'

19) Do everything like them

20) Call them names

How to deal with your enemies.

1) Let them hurt you

2) Let them think you're crazy

3) Let them think you're insane

4) Let them do whatever they wish

5) Let them laugh at you

6) Let them annoy you until you can't take it anymore.

6) Let them yell at you

7) Walk up to them

8) Look at them

9) Kiss them on the cheek

10) Turn around

11) Walk away

12) Keep on walking

13) Leave them shocked

14) Then never come back

15) Copy and Paste this on your profile.

When life gives you apples make lemonade.

When life gives you lemons make apples with juice.

When life gives you bananas you can FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

When life gives you a punishment for taking over the world with bananas say your brother did it.

Life is SO gullible.

If you think Tellytubbies are evil brainwashing nasties and want to take over the world, put this in your profile (They gave me nightmares lol)

If you think furbies are evil mind controlling igits waiting to take over the world paste this in your profile. (My dog chewed him up luckily)

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile

IF YOU LIKE TALKING IN CAPITALS SOMETIMES FOR NO REASON, PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE. YAAAAAAY!!

I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!

If you like copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this into your profile!

If maths should DIE copy and paste this into your profile!

If homework should DIE copy and paste this into your profile.

If school altogether should DIE copy and paste this into your profile.

I dress weird! If you do too, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! C'MON LET'S BRING WEIRD STUFF TO THE FASHION WORLD!!

If you get shy copy and paste this into you profile.

If you can tell the difference to coke and diet coke, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have your own world, copy and paste this into your profile then write down your name, with the worlds name in brackets (if your world don't have a name just make one up! C'MON PEOPLE OF THE WORLD!!): Evilsingingllama (Tarnaris), Elouise Victoria (Lemusiphia),

.••) .•).•.•) .•)
(.• (.•Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

To take this test you must have a book at least 400 pages long. To take this test, go to the indicated page and word and type it down, no matter what. (The book I'm using the 'The Host')

1) How do you talk? (pg. 385 column 2 word 5)

So (Why do you care?)

2) What is your favorite thing? (pg. 25 column 11 word 5)

immature (Yes. I like toys and Cartoon Network)

3) What do you think is in your bathroom, right now? (pg. 56 column 11 word 7)

then (how does that work?)

4) Name an object. (pg. 251 column 8 word 15)

planet (cool)

5) How do you drink your lemonade? (pg. 5 column 3 word 1)

She's (Yes, I drink she's lemonade)

6) What are you thinking right now? (pg. 399 column 6 word 6)

C'mon (isn't it obvious?)

7) If you were to make a fanfic, what would it be called? (pg. 12 column 1 word 7)

Behind (being left behind? who's behind me? Someone's butt?!)

8) What’s your favorite word? (pg. 396 column 9 word 13)

He (...)

9) What am I thinking? (pg. 62 column 9 word 4)

with (Aww man, I'm wrong!)

10) Last one, how do you feel? (pg. 400 column 5 word 6)

points (yes, I have many good one's I'm thinking of right now)

Favorite quotes:

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Parents spend the first part of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk. The second half is teaching them to sit down and shut up

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a best friend will be in the room next to you yelling "THAT WAS AWESOME LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

A best friend is the type of persion who can see you with the biggest smile on your face.. and still know something's wrong.

Being random is not your fault...actually it kinda is. But it's a good thing!

if your called wierd, just think, wierd=different. different=stupid. stupid=dominaint. dominaint=supreme. supreme=allmighty. allmighty=Jigglypuff. jigglypuff=god. god=Chuck Norris.

if you think spongebob is totally gay, put this in your profile.

98 percent of the Internet population has a MySpace. If you're part of the 2 percent that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the Anima manga series should be made into an anime copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think I have to many "copy and pastes" in my profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think I have at least one more "copy and paste" thingy in my profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you were right, copy and paste this to your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Novemberscorpion110388, Pinksakurablossom, Angelgirl18647, Winter Gallowsraven, Echizen Ryoma-san, Zaara the black, NegimaFan, Princess Falling Star, Tahza, Grace Raven, organization MA, Elouise Victoria

If you enjoy reading the and copying the "copy and pastes" from other people's profiles to your own, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are completly and utterly tired of people posting stories in the wrong section on purpose, copy and paste this to your profile

0 of teens of vampires. 99 are wannabes. Please post this or put it in your signature/profile if you're one of the 1 that is actually sane

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you've ever tripped over your on two feet copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hate obnoxious ,snobby people PLEASE copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've gotten so completly zoned out of a converstation that you don't even remember what you were talking about copy and paste this in your profile.

If you ever got zoned out for more than five minutes copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are bored copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. XD

If you think Husky and Nana (from Anima) should get together, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have a profile do the opposite of copying this to your profile, and do the oppesite of copying this to your profile 9 times... not.

If you didn't get the thing above copy this to your profile and that too, up there.

If you like blue copy this to your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

Anime is Life. Manga is life. Life is good. Parents suck for not buying you more life. If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you had a laughing fit for absolutely no reason copy and paste this on your profile

98 percent of teens do or have tried pot. If your are the 2 percent who have not, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile

If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile.

if you hate the Edward Cullen fangirls, copy and paste this into your profile PLEASE!

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile

Try Not To Cry

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

(..)'(..)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Put him on your profile to help him achieve World
(")_(") Domination...please.

things that are weird:

i haven't lost my marbles, their under my bed somewhere.

if all things up, must come down, will we soon see aliens?

its good to die for your country, but its really good when the other bastard dies for their contry.

since its rat poison, can i eat it?

if you answer a question with a question, will you get change?

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.

i know whats right. Bob over there knows whats left.

if i howl at the moon, will Saix answer me?

I'll give you an arm for your leg.

Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer.

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail. A great friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'Damn that was fun!

Few women admit their age; fewer men act it.

What's another word for synonym?

War determines not who is right, but who is left.

Don't take life too seriously -You'll never get out of it alive.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

A mighty oak is the result of a a nut who held its ground.

Despite the rising cost of living, it remains a popular activity.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

It's you and me against the world. (puts on helmet) We attack at dawn.

Friends don't set friends on fire.

Friends don't let friends drive drunk.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and dark side, and holds the universe together.

Why are wrong numbers never busy?

Silence is golden...but SCREAMING IS FUN!!

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected' make the unexpected expected?

I do visit reality, although it's only on a tourist visa.

I used to have a handle on life; then it broke.

Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is.

Smile. Tomorrow will be worse.

Fail with honor rather than succeed by fraud.

Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying 'you can't fire me, I quit!'

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

You never know how strong you are...until being strong is the only choice you have.

Me believes in ME!

Give me chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

You're jealous cuz the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

In the end it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.

Live for the moments you can't put into words.

No trespassing, violators will be shot and survivors will be shot again.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

You just have to live your life not caring what they think and shake off the drama and prove to them that you're better than they think you are.

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then proceed to tell you exactly why it isn't.

He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

To be old and wise you must first have to be young and stupid.

Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise.

You are only limited by your own fears and inaction.

There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the heck is happening.

Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.

Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.

My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me, he said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet.

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door.

I used to have a life but, that was before video games!

Don't look for inspiration. Start working and inspiration will come to you.

I'm the author of my life, and unfortunately I'm writing in pen!

Move on. It's just a chapter in the past. But don't close the book. Just turn the page.

Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it The Present.

When you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine.

Many say I am just one to try. I say I am one less to quit.

Believe in yourself and others will follow.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

When life gives you lemons, think of another 'when life gives you lemons' quote.

Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.

It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.

I shoot every third salesmen that comes to my house, the second just left.

I shoot every third flamer that comes to my profile, the second just left.

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.

I'm perfectly sane, it's the world that's crazy.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and its gone.

I used to have super powers, but my therapist took them away.

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me in kick boxing.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look to astonished.

We live in an age where the pizza delivery will reach your house before the police.

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every-time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service I offer. Compassion costs extra.

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

Silence is golden, duck-tape is silver-

Who ever said that anything was possible has obviously never tried to ski through a revolving door...

He shouldn't let his mind wander, it's too little to go out on its own.

He had a good idea once, but it died of loneliness.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tommorow in Australia.

Are you always in mortal danger, or just when I'm passing through?

Vegetarian: Indian word for 'lousy hunter'.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

You can't fall off the floor, but you can always pick yourself back up.

Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.

If you mess with anything long enough, it'll break.

Push something hard enough and it will fall.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

Join the army, travel the world, meet interesting people, kill them

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

There's no point in being grownup if you can't be childish sometimes!

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you
wouldn't have been notified.

Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.

Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?

Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.

Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine.

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity (It's true I tell you!)

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Smile every minute of the day. You never know who is falling in love with it.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds.'
7. Finish all your scentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask 'Why don't the poems rhyme?'
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address your by your wrestling name.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!! I won!!'
18. When leaving the zoo, starting running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives, they're loose!'
19. Tell your children (or someone) over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.'

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? In the real world-I'm too damn ugly. In my head-Yup. His name's Riley Kinsman. =3

2) Do you hate more than 3 people? Yes.

3) How many houses have you lived in? One.

4) Favorite candy bar? Reese peanut butter cups.

5) Favorite shoes? I love my high heeled flip flops, but tennis shoes are pretty good for me.

6) Have you ever tripped someone? I think...

7) Least favorite school subject? English.

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? No. But my mom does.

10) Have you ever thrown up in public? Yes, and it shot out five feet ahead of me! In my school parking lot! Everyone's eyes were bugging out of their heads!

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. Fan fictions

12) Favorite genre of music? any.

13) What is your zodiac sign? Cancer and the Rat

14) What time were you born? Around 7:05, I think...

15) Do you like beer? I'm too young!

16) Ever made a prank phone call? No, but my friend has.

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Disney Movie Mix

18) Are you sarcastic? When I want to be.

19) What are your favorite colors? Turquoise and silver.

20) How many watches do you own? I don't own any. I broke them all.

21) Summer or winter? Summer! NO SCHOOL!

23) Favorite color to wear? Green, blue, and white.

24) Pepsi or Sprite? Pepsi.

25) What color is your cell phone? Grayish silver.

26) Where is your second home? Don't have one.

27) Have you ever slapped someone? Yes siree! And, my mom still hates me for it!

28) Have you ever had a cavity? Yup, I've had tons. Why does candy have to taste so good and be so bad?

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? Two, but one's not plugged in.

30) How many video games do you own? Around 25.

31) What was your first pet? A dog named Kelly, who got really sick and we had to put her down. sniff W...WAHH! I MISS HER SOOOO MUCH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! WAAAAAAAAHH!

32) Ever had braces? No, but I'll need some soon. Dang the fang! Dentist just don't understand that when teeth grow higher than they should, it makes you look like a vampire!

33) Do looks matter? It depends on what's going on.

34) Do you use chapstick? Sometimes.

35) Name 3 teachers from your High School. I'm not in high school yet!!

36) American Eagle or Abercombie? What the crap is that?

37) Are you too forgiving? Most of the time.

38) How many children do you want? Three.

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? I don't think so...

40) Favorite breakfast meal? Pancakes, with chocolate chips and maple syrup!!

41) Do you own a gun? No.

42) Ever thought you were in love? Yeah...But then I realized that the guy I was crushing on was a BIG FAT MEANER FROM THE PLANET ZORHANTH IN SECTOR NINE!! THAT PLACE SUCKS!!

3) When was the last time you cried? Yesterday...

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? I DUNNO! I don't even remember what I had for breakfast yesterday!

45) Olive Garden? La Panera? Olive garden! I don't know what the other one is.

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? Yeah...

47) Have you ever been in a castle? No.

48) Nicknames? Yes, but I'm not telling you my real name, in case of stalkers.

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? Yes. Poor kid...she's 7.

50) Ever been to Kentucky? If driving through Kentucky counts then yes.

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic?No.

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? Yes.

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? No.

55) Do you own a diamond ring? No.

56) Are you happy with your life right now? Sort of.

57) Do you dye your hair? No.

58) Does anyone like you? I don't think so

59) What year were you born? 1996

60) What were you doing in May of 1994? Not born yet.

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? Heck no!

62) McDonalds or Wendys? McDonalds.

63) Do you like yourself? Honestly I think I'm unlikeable. So that means: Must starve self, leave hair down. Then me look good.

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? Mom.

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Huh? I don't think about that, but, since you asked, the hair.

66) Are you afraid of the dark? Sometimes.

67) Have you ever eaten paste? If licking a glue stick counts, then yes. It tastes like syrup if you wanted to know.

68) Do you own a webcam? No...

69) Have you ever stripped? No!

70) Ever broke a bone? No.

72) Do you chat on AIM often? No. I don't even know what that stands for.

73) Pringles or Lays? Pringles.

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? No. Well, maybe. He was my best friend and everyone knew but me that he had a crush on me. And, one day, I was talking about one of my crushes and it crushed him. Then, the other guy broke my heart

75) Rugrats or Doug? Rugrats

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? Full House.

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? Not in high school yet.

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? Heck no! I'm really skinny!

79) Do you have a birth mark? Not really, it goes away the older I get. It's kisses and hugs! Like XOXO.

80) Do you own a car? No

81) Can you cook? Sort of.

82) 3 things that annoy you:

1. People that won't shut up, when I need quiet.

2. Boys who are pervs.

3. Wannabees and liars.

83) Do you text message often? I'm not allowed to.

84) Money or love? Love.

85) Do you have any scars? On my arms from my cat Sassy, but the scars aren't permanent. They fade away, so I never have proof!

86) What do you want more than anything right now? Popcorn and a cookie dough blizzard!

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Some.

88) Relationships or one night stands? Relationship

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit?Juicy fruit

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? Depends on what it is.

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? No.

92) Do you own a box of crayons? Yeah.

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? My mom.

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? My Dad, for not getting a blizzard.

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? The thought that I'd be all alone in my own little world with no man to hold and love...

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? My BFF, Taylor.

98) Who was the last person that you fell for? Ben J. Then, I realized it was just admiration, jealousy, and hunger.

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? Victoria Hakadosi

100) Who was the last person that called you? My mom.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

What a Boyfriend Should Do

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention

When she pull's away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her-
because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking, Sweet??"

If you post this in the next five minutes the one you love will :

Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

This next bit here is the cutest, sadest thing ever...

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.