Let's Torture Pokemon, Season Two! Chapter 2: The Funny Farm, a pokémon fanfic

Let's Torture Pokemon!

A/N: This is working out better than I had thought! And I also created the world's biggest group of Gary-haters...Rise, my minions! RISE! Ahem... Warning: The first scene of this chapter contains foreshadowing for something no one cares about!! Warning: This chapter contains random outbursts from Tony and Gary. Warning: If you don't like Rosy, tough luck, because this chapter almost completely revolves around her. Warning: You guys aren't going to like this chapter because of me...I'm such a softy...Warning: This chapter contains an appearance from someone that nobody likes. And no, I don't mean Giselle. Or Misa from DeathNote. Warning: This chapter contains a random appearance and destruction from Greg the Rose. No, he's not the hated character...Warning: There's yet another two characters in my stories that represent Snowstorm and I. Okay, they don't represent us, but they totally act like us. And I'm Gary!! She can be Tony. Warning: This author note contains various random warnings. Warning: You know, since I kind of failed at this author note, I'm just going to start it over. Ahem...

Welcome to Let's Torture Pokemon! The only FanFiction that defies both the guidelines, and the laws of gravity!

Ash- =floats by= Wheeeee!

Knock, knock.

"Come in," Rosy's voice called from inside her room.

"Rosy, it's almost time to start," Tony called from outside, thinking it too risky to walk in.

The door opened. Rosy stood in the doorway. She was wearing a green t-shirt with lace and bows with four-leaf clovers printed on them and a green skirt. Her dirty-blonde hair was tied up in two ponytails with green lace that was almost falling out. She was wearing knee-high white socks but no shoes. Tony blushed for the umpteenth time that day.

"Okay, I'll be done in a second."

"All-righty then..."

Rosy's door closed. Tony was about to walk away, but he could only bring himself to turn around and freeze. He stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out the Moltres charm. He turned it around in his hand, examining all the sides. The body was made out of a silver that looked like solid metal, and the fire-coated wings were a hollow, glass-resembling gray. It's back was dotted with white jewels. Unlike the rest of its body, its eyes were a shining gold. He hadn't brought it out in broad daylight since Rosy gave it to him--it sparkled even brighter in sunlight. Rosy hadn't ever seen him look at it. Did she think he had forgotten?

"Welcome, everybody, to the second installment of Let's Torture Pokemon! We know you've been waiting for months, but don't blame us!" Tony cheered. "I'm your host, Tony, and here's our co-host, Rosy!"

"Let's start right away," Rosy said in her quiet and polite voice. "Our first set of dares is by Shadoe Mayari."

"Our first dare is for May..." Tony went on, opening a briefcase. "Rosy, would you like to help me pass these out?"

Rosy, who had been dreading him asking that, rose to her feet. "Yes...boss," she mumbled, staring at her shoes.

Gary, who had already looked over at the dares, was perfectly prepared for Rosy chickening out. He stood up, "Tony, you have no right to command Rosy to handle something so dangerous!"

May looked petrified. "Um...what is it?"

Tony stood up as well. "I am not commanding Rosy, Gary! Now sit down before we make you do it!"

But Gary remained standing. He was staring straight into Rosy's frightened eyes. "You have no reason to be serving him like this, Rosy! He only wants to make a title for himself!"

"I said sit down!"

"Shut up, Ultimate Jerk!"

"Gary, I don't think you should stir Tony up like that..." Rosy whispered, too quietly to actually stop them. "Same goes for you, Tony..."

"Don't you start calling me a jerk! You're the jerk--"

"TONY!" Ash shouted, running in between the fighting boys. "You need to take a chill pill!"

"I don't need to take a chill pill, Gary needs to--"

"Hold out your hand."

Tension filled the air. Everyone went quiet. There was a long, awkward pause. Rosy bit her grassy-green fingernails.

"Wh-What?"

"Hold out your hand," Ash said again, absolutely serious.

Tony slowly and awkwardly held out his hand. Ash placed something invisible into Tony's hand.

"Put the chill pill in your mouth."

"Dude, my kindergarten teacher just made me do this...--"

"Put the chill pill in your mouth, Tony."

Tony put the 'chill pill' in his mouth. Rosy smiled to herself. The last time she had seen Tony looking so childish...She had never seen Tony looking so childish. Ash still wasn't satisfied.

"Now you have to swallow the chill pill."

"Look, I kind of doubt this will--"

"SWALLOW THE DAMNED CHILL PILL."

An ominous gulping sound erupted from Tony's throat. The others exchanged nervous glances, some of them smiling. Rosy was still watching the scene with a huge grin.

Ash looked pleased. "Now chill," he finished, walking back to his seat. For about five minutes after he sat, everyone stared at his idiotic, smiling face. Barry grinned and found a whole six more pages for his report. Finally, Tony spoke up, just as awkward as before.

"Anyway...Gary, you're still a jerk! And I'm not a--"

"Sometimes it takes a few minutes to kick in," Ash explained.

Rosy stepped in as Gary and Tony argued. "May's dare is to sit still while we throw stuff at her," she mumbled, saying 'stuff' with dread. She passed the briefcase around, and everyone except May took a bag that looked like it was filled with a big, round ball. Ash rummaged around his bag, yelped, and threw it on the floor. "Ash, BE CAREFUL!"

Everyone screamed as the bag exploded, May screaming the loudest. Where the bag had been dropped, a big scorch mark was spread across the ground. May gave a huge gulp, and Barry scribbled something that looked like 'throwing explosives on the floor' on his report. Drew couldn't help but give Rosy a big smile, who had stood up on her seat, keeping her feet off the ground, as if the whole earth could erupt at any moment. Tony and Gary hadn't noticed the explosion at all, and continued to bicker.

Making completely sure no one was going to look in their bag again, she got up gingerly and tiptoed over to Tony and Gary, stood in-between them, and threw her arms out on both sides.

"It's not a good idea for you to fight with him, Tony!" she said, turning her head towards him. "You can't get angry like that!"

Tony froze. "I only got angry once or twice!"

"What?!" Gary shouted. "What the hell are you talking about?!"

"None of your Combeeswax!" Tony shouted, turning on his heels back to Gary.

"Please stop!" Rosy pleaded.

"OKAY, I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS BAD FEELING!!! ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME MY DARE OR AREN'T YOU?!" May scolded.

"SHUT UP, MAY!!! EVERYBODY START NOW!!!" Tony barked. Frightened, everyone reached into their bags, pulled out a Voltorb, and flung it in May's direction. May gave a loud screech as dust and smoke flew up around her, blocking her from view. When the smoke cleared, May was sitting twitching on the couch, scarred and burnt. Rosy gave her a frightened and sympathetic look. May stood up.

"Okay, JUST WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT?!" she scolded.

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU WHO SENT THAT REVIEW, GENIUS!" Tony shouted back.

"Tony, please stop...!" Rosy pleaded hopelessly.

"Tony, do I need to give you another chill--?"

"SHUT UP, ASH!" everyone shouted at once.

"All right, everyone, please stop fighting! We need to move on! I don't care how much you hate each other; you can hate each other as much as you please, just save the fighting for off-screen times, because some of us don't want to have another host in your place!" Rosy shouted, cheeks red.

Tony turned to Rosy. "Are you saying he can beat me up?!"

"That's not what I said!"

"Then what did you mean?!"

"I meant that every reviewer is going to realize how much of a jerk your becoming, will send hating reviews, want you fired, and then the plot will take over!!"

"What?!"

"Never mind, just stop yelling at each other!!"

...And then it was quiet. Very quiet. Quiet like someone-got-a-boner-in-PE-class quiet.

Finally, Rosy spoke up again. "I have some bad news."

"Is it about global warming?"

"Did Harley finally drop dead?"

"I'm right here, Misty-poo!"

"No, it's about the old host."

"I miss her," Barry complained. "She's the only reason people didn't treat me like crap in season one."

"Yeah, well, she's gone, so I hope you know you are crap," Paul snapped. Barry looked at his shoes.

"It seems like the prophecy is coming true," Rosy whispered.

Tony's eyes widened. "The one about 4Kids ruling the world?"

"No, not the stolen one from Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged, the other one. The rumor that went around after season one was taken off of FanFiction. The one about Furyfur losing all will to write and needing someone else to write the story for her."

Barry dropped his report. "What?!"

"It seems that the author is recycling the entire plot and every word of dialogue from Gyaradosmaster's Ultimate Trainer."

"No...that means..." Barry said breathlessly, shaking with terror.

"That's right," Rosy said with a serious expression. "Furyfur has finally run out of ideas."

Barry dropped to his knees and yelled at the sky. "NOOOOOOO! It can't be! It just can't be! The author wrote 29 and a half chapters with completely original--"

"The same thing happened in every chapter," Paul barked. "If you take away all but one, you've got the entire story right there. Even the dares write themselves."

"That's not true!!" Barry yelled in agony. "It can't be true!"

"Actually," Gary said calmly. "Furyfur's been stealing jokes for a while now. Besides, she was a jerk. Rosy is a much better host."

"She was not a jerk!!"

"She nearly killed me a dozen times," Paul said, butting in the conversation.

"Yeah, well, you were much more exciting in season one!" Barry snapped, forcing Paul to drop out, for he had a point.

"Our next dare is for Harley!" Rosy said, as if the matter was nothing new. "I--Um, May has to pour hot soup down his pants."

"What?!" May shouted in disbelief. "Why do I have to do it?!"

"Because the lovely Rosy said so," Gary snapped.

Rosy smiled brightly and handed May the hot soup. May got a disgusted look on her face, walked over to Harley, and poured it down his pants. Harley, who had been smiling as if he had done this a dozen times before, leaped up into the air and started to run in circles.

"MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!" he shouted. Everyone ignored him completely, except for Barry, who looked worried.

"Um, isn't anyone going to help this guy?" Barry asked, watching everyone chat with each other as Harley suffered.

"To be honest, we saw stuff like this a lot in season one," Drew explained. Barry didn't seem convinced, but then he remembered the pickle dare with Paul, and shut up.

"Next, Misty has to swim with the Carvanha."

"What are Carvanha?" Ash asked.

"A Pokemon," Rosy explained. "It evolves into Sharpedo, which you said you saw a lot of in season one."

"Sharks?" Ash said. "We had sharks in season one?! Since when?" He paused. "We had a season one?"

"Ash, um, how long have you been spacing out?" Rosy asked.

"Depends," Ash said thoughtfully. "Are we Viridian City yet?"

Everyone went quiet. "We got to Viridian City years ago, Ash..." Misty mumbled in absolute awe. Sometimes Ash was just too skilled...

"You have to go swim with the caravans, Misty!"

"The Carvanha, Ash. I swear, Furyfur gets way too many ideas from spellcheck!"

Misty shrugged and walked outside. "So, where are we supposed to get the Carvanha? We don't have the moat anymore." She paused. "Do we?"

"Ladies and gentlemen," Tony said dramatically. "Let me introduce our new and improved...Moat of Devastation! Comes complete with a Feebas feeding center for the most dangerous Water-Type Pokemon ever discovered! Including Carvanha, Huntail, Feraligatr, Marshtomp, Blastoise, Misty Waterflower, and of course, our favorite, Sharpedo!"

"Show off," Gary muttered.

Misty sighed, jumped into the moat, and Tony released the Carvanha with a remote. The Carvanha quickly chewed her up, and Misty yelled a little, but she was used to Sharpedo and the Carvanha seemed like nothing. After a while, Misty was able to climb out, covered in teeth marks, but she didn't complain.

"Well," Rosy said, wondering how she managed to get through it without at least complaining. "Ash has a rather confusing dare."

"I didn't think it was confusing," Tony said. "This is the kind of stuff that season one took seriously."

"He has to go to a doctor, because he is suffering from baka-ness."

"So I'm an idiot?" Ash said quietly, feeling a little hurt.

"Oh, Ash knows what baka means, but he couldn't remember his Kanto challenge at all!" Misty barked. "Is it just me, or is it a good thing that Furyfur is copying people's ideas?!"

"Gary's dare is to be Ash's doctor and cure his baka-ness."

Gary walked up to Ash. "Open wide." Ash opened his mouth. "Yes, I was afraid so...Mr. Ketchum, I'm not a dentist, but when was the last time you brushed your teeth?"

"I don't know, did we make it to Viridian City yet?"

"That's it," Misty said. "I give up!!"

Gary examined him further. "Well, I'm going to need Paul for this."

"Hm?" Paul murmured, looking up from where he was staring into space.

"The only way to cure Ash's baka-itis is a lecture from Paul."

"It's baka-ness, loser!" Ash barked, losing patience.

"That's Mr. Loser to you, Ketchum!" Gary snapped without missing a beat.

"Whatever," Paul said, shrugging.

"Tell him about your life," Gary urged.

"Well, Ash, my father was a strict man..."

"Now!" Tony said as Paul continued to complain. "Rosy, will you be our newscaster, please?"

"Yes, Tony," Rosy said politely. "HeartGold and SoulSilver are released in spring 2010. The official date is yet to be announced. We have breaking news for the games! Arceus will be given away at Toys R Us November 7th to 15th onto Diamond, Pearl, or Platinum games. Once Arceus is obtained, it unlocks a special area on HG or SS called the Shinto Ruins that gives you a level 1 Palkia, Dialga, and Giratina! You can thank Furyfur for that information, even if it was totally late!! But hey, she missed it, too! On top of that amazing news, we have information on another game being released! It's called PokePark: Pikachu's Great Adventure! It's for Wii, and the screenshots we have are awesome!"

"BUT NO ONE UNDERSTOOD ME, NO ONE EVER--" Paul went on.

"In other news, HG and SS have 14 move tutors to boot up your Pokemon for a very small price! The moves that can be taught by these people are Headbutt, Frenzy Plant, Blast Burn, Hydro Cannon, Bounce, Gastro Acid, Gunk Shot, Low Kick, Mud-Slap, Rollout, Ancientpower, Aqua Tail, Earth Power, Iron Defense, Iron Head, Seed Bomb, Signal Beam, Super Fang, Twister, Heat Wave, Outrage, Superpower, Endeavor, Pain Split, Sky Attack, Bug Bite, Fury Cutter, Dive, Knock Off, Sucker Punch, Air Cutter, Icy Wind, Ominous Wind, Trick, Vacuum Wave, Fire Punch, Ice Punch, Thunderpunch, Zen Headbutt, Block, Gravity, Magic Coat, Snore, String Shot, Worry Seed, Helping Hand, Magnet Rise, Spite, Swift, Synthesis, Heal Bell, Last Resort, Role Play, Tailwind, and Uproar!"

"Wow, that's a lot of moves for 14 move tutors..." Tony said.

"And that's all the news we have," Rosy said sweetly.

"So it hurts, Ash, that's all I'm saying, it just...hurts," Paul concluded, getting choked up. Ash was staring at him with wide eyes and a hypnotized look.

"Yes, I agree," he said with no interesting tone whatsoever. "This world is bad. If you excuse me, I have to go find something sharp..."

"His baka-ness is gone!" Rosy said in awe. "I can't believe it! Good job, Gary!" She frowned. "But now we have to cure his emo-ness..."

"I'm sorry, but that boy barely had enough insurance to cover his baka-ness," Gary said. Rosy smiled and giggled at his joke. Tony shrugged.

"Now, Leaf gets a cookie! It won't turn you into a Glaceon!"

Leaf pondered the situation. "Well, I question if you're telling the truth or not, but my hunger for cookies out rules my suspicion!" she said. Ash gave her a confused look, even when his baka-ness was gone, and she seized the cookie from Tony and shoved it in her mouth. A white light surrounded her, and when it faded away, a Glaceon was sitting in her place, munching on her magic cookie. Rosy, Barry, and Tony freaked out, but the rest of the group had seen it a thousand times.

"Drew must fight a mutant rose," Rosy said, trying to pull her eyes away from the new Leaf.

"Coincidence! You're name is Rosy, and Drew has to fight a mutant--" Barry started.

Rosy stood up, stopping him in his sentence, walked over to him, slapped him hard across the face, and sulked back to her seat. Barry looked bewildered and exceptionally confused.

"I didn't mean--"

"Shut up," she said warningly.

Harley pulled a red liquid in a glass bottle out of his pocket. "Made it just this morning!" he said, handing it to Drew. No one answered.

Drew pulled out one of his roses and poured the red liquid onto the rose. "Goodbye, Greg," he said weakly. Tony didn't want to know. The rose started to grow so fast that Rosy barely had time to shriek before the roof was breaking open and Greg grew a mouth and eyes.

"Drew!" it boomed. "I thought you loved me!"

"I do, I do!" Drew pleaded. "Please don't kill me!"

"Get it, someone, please get it!!" Rosy screamed. Tony leapt up and ran towards it with a Pokeball in his hand, determined to prove he wasn't a jerk, but Greg sprouted a large tentacle which he flung towards him. Tony's stomach took the blow and he was knocked onto his back, gasping for breath.

"Tony!" Rosy shrieked, losing breath from screaming so much.

Gary stood up. "Go, Arcanine!" he shouted calmly, throwing a Pokeball not far from the mutant rose. A giant, furry red dog leaped out of the Pokeball and yowled. "Use Fire Blast!"

A ball of fire erupted in Arcanine's mouth as he launched it at the mutant rose. The fire shifted to the shape of a kanji. The kanji collided with Greg, burning him to a crisp and making him wilt and die.

"Greg!!" Drew screamed in terror.

"That'll do," Gary said coolly, returning Arcanine to his Pokeball.

"Wow, Gary, that was so cool!" Rosy said enthusiastically.

Tony rolled over onto his back from where he was lying. "Oh, I give up..."

"'Course, Arcanine was a tough one to train, got him when he was just a Growlithe, but I knew there was something special about him...You know, Rosy, Arcanine is considered a legendary Pokemon..." Gary went on. Rosy was looking at him with big, interested eyes.

Drew dropped to the ground in fetal position and started to tremble. May patted him absentmindedly on the shoulder as he hugged the remains of Greg.

"Our next dare," Tony went on, completely ignoring the scene behind him. "...is for Paul. He must take an Anti-Emo Vaccine."

Barry stood up. "That's offensive!"

"No, it's fine," Paul said bored. "I get this kind of criticism all the time." Paul reached out to take the vaccine.

"Wait a second!" Rosy said. "We got the letter from Furyfur, remember? The one about Paul?"

Paul's pupils seemed to double in size. "Furyfur? A letter from Furyfur? About me?! Oh, shoot, I'm in trouble!!"

"Oh yeah," Tony mumbled, not feeling so friendly with Rosy at the moment. "That's right...Why don't you tell them?"

Rosy nodded. "Ladies, gentlemen, and reviewers with no lives, we have a guest star today! Furyfur has sent us a video message telling us who it is! Here we go!" Rosy turned on the TV. An evil-looking girl with thick brown hair and glaring hazel eyes appeared on the screen. She had a familiar diabolical smile. Everyone except Tony and Rosy broke into "Oh my god!"s of terror.

"Shoot!" Gary said. "Just when we think we've gotten rid of her!"

"Good evening, everyone, I am Kira...I mean Furyfur," she said with false sweetness. "I can't host this season because of the guideline rule about real people, which is also why I can't have guests stars. Sucks, doesn't it? And I take it that Gary is still alive? And...why?"

Gary looked frightened. "Um..."

"Well, let's not waste any time...This will probably make us lose a handful of reviewers, but..."

"Anything!" Barry complained desperately. "Anything for someone who still thinks of me as a major character!!"

"As anyone who watches the Pokemon anime would know, in episode 23 of season twelve, Pokemon Galactic battle, we recently learned, in A Pyramiding Rage, of Paul's tragic and, apparently, insignificant past."

Paul grunted. Ash began a speech about his fear of big words. I think there's some sort of phobia about that, but...

"However, I believe--and Snowstorm agrees with me--that Paul deserves a break after such a horrible defeat. I, as a person, have always hated Brandon because he uses his words to get inside his opponents' heads instead of shutting his fat lip up and battling like a normal human. An example of this "strategy" was the first episode where Evil Ash was introduced. This episode was the battle between Brandon and Ash. Brandon was considered the "good guy" to make up for the fact that Ash had been possessed by "The King of PokeLantis." I honestly don't buy this at all, but it still happened...Anyway, Brandon had to defeat Ash to win the real Ash back. Brandon, however, chose the anime way out of a situation: talking. Yeah, he's a pansy..."

Paul, who had first been sour about looking at the old torture artist again, was now smiling to himself, thinking about how years and years of abuse were about to pay off.

"...Therefore, I herby state that the second chapter of Let's Torture Pokemon will be excluding Paul from torture!"

Everyone gasped. Barry let his mouth hang wide open. Something was, maybe...taking over Furyfur's brain? No, that wasn't it...She was just simply insane...

"Here to take Paul's place...I have taken the liberty of inviting Brandon to what he thinks is a battle challenge by Anabel! He will be taking every bit of Paul's torture! And...while I'm doing this...I dare Brandon to go through the old-school torture cycle! Yeah, I can just picture the look on your face, but you'll see soon enough...I also dare Barry to sing Tokyo by Danny Saucedo, just for the fun of it. And Paul? I appreciate ya, buddy, so sit back and enjoy your break. You'll need it. Oh, and Gary? We're getting a new member of the team tomorrow. And Ash? I know you've gone all emo when Paul beat you, but...SUCK IT UP. Paul's been doing it for years, and he's been taking it like a man unlike you. This message will now self-destruct. Peace!"

Furyfur gave everyone a wink goodbye and made a peace sign with her fingers, and the screen burned away and the DVD player exploded in a blinding puff of smoke. Paul was smiling to himself, arms crossed, approving. To everyone's surprise, it wasn't an evil smile. Gary, however, was scratching his head, trying to figure out what she had meant. Ash was silently crying to himself.

"W-Wait, how did she make a DVD self-destruct...?" Tony wondered.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Must be Brandon!" Tony said. "I wonder why Furyfur hates him so mu--"

"NO!" an obnoxious voice said from behind the door. "This is unacceptable! I can't wait more than five seconds before someone opens the door! I deserve better than this, I'm the best of the Frontier Brains..."

"Brains?" Ash said. "Where? I call it! This one's mine!!"

"Why, that must be Ash!" the voice said, turning happy. "Hey, Ash, is your friend Furyfur still holding a grudge against me?"

"Quiet, I'm looking for the brain!" Ash snapped.

"Um...Brandon, sir?" Tony said, frightened. "Can I...Can I open the door?"

"OF COURSE you can, you stupid boy, didn't I just say--?"

"I heard," Tony mumbled inaudibly, opening the door. Brandon stepped in without warning or even glancing at Tony.

"This place is filthy...Oh, let me guess, this is Furyfur's place...Yeah, she's hated me ever since I crushed her on the battlefield..."

"Actually, she never hated you for that," Ash said. "She's hated you because you constantly reminded her that she lost a battle to Paul during the battle between you two, and you kept reminding her that her overconfidence was her weakness..."

"So yeah, she pretty much despises you," Barry finished. His eyes widened. "Furyfur lost to Paul?!"

"Ah, that was a precious moment, she was so sure she would win, and then...Smash," Paul said comfortably. "My Azumaril showed her a thing or two...I think the lesson is "don't use Pokemon under four months old"...Yeah, that would be it...Stupid Eevee..."

"So...Where's Anabel?" Brandon asked, taking note of every flaw in the house he could find.

"She's not here," Tony said. "Furyfur lied."

"Ah, why am I not surprised? That girl was always so predictable...Of course she would start with a Fire Type, so I used Regirock...Did she think I wouldn't suspect that?..."

"You're here for him," Tony cut him off, pointing to Paul.

"Ah, Reiji's younger brother...Furyfur speaks so highly of Reiji and yet so low of you...Well, she was on your side when we battled, but still...That's just because she doesn't know what's good for her...She'd be a very bad gambler...I hope you have gotten more skill since we've last battled," he finished pointedly.

"Furyfur speaks highly of Reiji?" Paul said, confused, completely ignoring Brandon's ranting insults. "I never knew that."

"There's a lot you don't know," Brandon said smugly. "For example, she's got a collection of C--"

"All right!" Rosy said. "Let's not snoop around behind people's backs. Look at that, Barry's died from shock."

Everyone turned to where Barry was sitting. Sure enough, he had fainted from this sudden knowledge about Furyfur. More specifically the part about losing to Paul and Furyfur's collection of Care B--...Um...Yeah, that.

"Shoot," Leaf said. "I guess that means that I have to revive him now that none of us except me have author powers?"

"Sure, whatever."

Leaf's hands turned a bright red and Barry jumped up.

"Huh?! Snape kills Dumbledore?!"

"Oh shoot!" Leaf said. "Really?! Ugh, I'm only on the third book!!" Leaf ran toward Barry and started to chew him into tiny pieces for spoiling the Harry Potter series, because for some reason, a lot of people do that.

"And that's, what, the fifth Harry Potter reference?" Gary asked angrily. "This is a Pokemon story, right?! Half of the reason Furyfur reads Harry Potter is because she wants to Confund Paul or whatever!"

"Oh for the love of sweet, sugary goodness! Will Brandon just please do the dare?!" Misty said angrily. She snatched the vaccine out of Tony's hand and thrust it into Brandon's chest. "Furyfur will destroy all of us if you don't do it soon!"

"What?!" Brandon said. "Now why would Furyfur want to kill me?"

Everyone fell over anime style at Brandon's lack of an attention span. "Because you're the reason Paul is such a tweet!" Misty said hotly.

Brandon looked frightened at Misty's rage =because all of the tough men nowadays are scared of tomboys=, and took the vaccine. All of a sudden, he smiled.

"I smell unicorns...and rainbows," he said in awe. "That means that Uncle Chuckles must be around here somewhere...Come on, Smufle McSmurf, let's go find him!" He grabbed Paul by the arm and tugged him outside to go look for Uncle Chuckles. Everyone laughed themselves silly.

"That was...new. I'll only see stuff like that in my dreams, and I don't think I'll ever sleep again," Rosy said in awe. "Now we have some dares by Purple Snowstorm. Well, um, Furyfur called her Snowstorm."

"Snowy's back?!" Harley said excitedly. "Yay, Snowy McSnowSnow!"

"Paul--Erm, Brandon has to end every sentence with "with Dawn in...bed"?!"

"Whoa!" Tony said, backing up a little. "Hold on there!! Doesn't Harley get stuff like that?!"

Paul and Brandon found their way back into the room as a result of bad writing skills.

"NO with Dawn in bed! I REFUSE to take any more of this nonsense with Dawn in bed!!" Brandon said.

"Haha, let's trick him into saying something perverted," Barry laughed. "Hm..."

"That will never work with Dawn in bed!!" Brandon shouted.

"I know, let's make him sing something while he still has to do that!" Barry offered, getting excited. "That'd be so funny!! Like Barbie Girl or something!! Yeah, I can just imagine..."

"You're such a geek," Gary said. "That's not even funny. He'll end up making a fool of himself anyway. I mean, come on, Furyfur is writing this story...She's probably just going to make him--"

Right on cue, Brandon stood up and waved his magic wand to change into a tutu with a snorkel.

- Hi Barbie! with Dawn in bed
- Hi Ken! with Dawn in bed
- You wanna go for a ride? with Dawn in bed
- Sure, Ken! with Dawn in bed
- Jump in! with Dawn in bed
- Ha ha ha ha! with Dawn in bed

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world with Dawn in bed
Life in plastic, it's fantastic with Dawn in bed
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere with Dawn in bed
Imagination, life is your creation with Dawn in bed

Come on, Barbie, let's go party with Dawn in bed

I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world with Dawn in bed
Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie withDawn in bed
You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain with Dawn in bed
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky with Dawn in bed

You can touch, you can play with Dawn in bed
You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa with Dawn in bed

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah with Dawn in bed
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh with Dawn in bed
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah with Dawn in bed
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh with Dawn in bed

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please with Dawn in bed
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees with Dawn in bed
Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again with Dawn in bed
Hit the town, fool around, let's go party with Dawn in bed

You can touch, you can play with Dawn in bed
You can say I'm always yours with Dawn in bed
You can touch, you can play with Dawn in bed
You can say I'm always yours with Dawn in bed

- Oh, I'm having so much fun! with Dawn in bed
- Well, Barbie, we're just getting started! with Dawn in bed
- Oh, I love you Ken! with Dawn in bed

Barry was laughing himself silly. "That was more ridiculous than Satoshi Tajiri attempting humor!"

Ash looked a little sad. "But...But Satoshi Tajiri is funny..."

"It was also just as stupid as Furyfur attempting a tragedy story. Remember that time in FlashClan when Wreckstorm died? I thought that was pretty darn hilarious," Paul said. He then silenced himself with a glance toward the idiot Brandon, who looked quite happy Furyfur being insulted, but he hated the fact that he wasn't the one doing it. And he likes the Barbie Girl song, but that's a different story.

"Gary has to dye his hair for three chapters. Pink," Tony said, smirking. Gary looked disappointed.

"Three chapters? I have to look like an idiot for three chapters?" he said, whining.

"It shouldn't be very hard changing what kind of an idiot you look like. I mean, you pull it off every chapter without trying. You're even a loser in the games and the anime," Tony said.

"It's true," Drew said. "Sorry."

Gary stood up. "Look who's talking!" he shouted at Tony. "You're the biggest idiot I know!"

Rosy rested her chin on her hand and sighed. It was no use. They weren't ever going to stop.

Tony stood up as well. "Don't talk to me like that, it isn't every day the great Gary Oak loses a battle! Oh, except for the entire first season of the anime!!"

"Hey," Gary said, looking shocked. "I didn't--"

"Yes you did," Ash said.

"Oh, whatever!! The point is, I'm not the one who has to take advantage of my friends to make myself feel like I'm important--"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ROSY!!!"

"Oh, look, he understands big words!" Gary sneered.

"This is going too far," Rosy said calmly. "The reviewers are going to get tired of this in no time."

"Who cares about the reviewers, will you just tell this guy that I'm not taking advantage of--"

"Tony, be quiet," Rosy said simply.

"Yeah, Tony, be quiet--!"

"You too, Gary."

Gary fell silent. Tony felt slightly better, but he still felt the urge to punch him. Leaf tilted her head.

"It's weird," she said. "Tony hates Gary as much as he could, and he doesn't even know that Rosy went out with Gary."

That set off some sort of time bomb of talking in the room. Rosy gave a frightened hiccup, Gary's eyes widened, and Tony whirled around.

"YOU--"

"Tony, don't be mad!" Rosy said. "It wasn't r-really a...a d-date...it was just..."

"I took her out and there's nothing you can do about it," Gary said calmly.

"But we didn't really--"

"I don't see how it couldn't be a date," Gary said. "I asked her and she said yes. I don't get what you're so worked up about, Tony..."

"You know what I don't get?!" Tony shouted, outraged. "I don't get why you would ever think that'd be okay!! I don't get why you have tons of fangirls and yet you still have to seduce my friend!! I don't get why you think Rosy was dumb enough to look over the fact that you already have a girlfriend!! I don't get why you can humiliate Furyfur, Leaf, and Misty and yet you still think it will work on Rosy!! I don't get why I always end up looking like the bad guy when I argue with you!!"

"Yeah, let's talk about you for a second," Gary interrupted. "It's not like you only think about yourself or anything..."

"Gary, please!" Rosy piped up. "Just don't start. Please, let's just please forget about this. Gary and I aren't going out," she said, turning back to Tony, who was steaming. "And we never will."

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep, Rosy," Tony said shakily. Without warning, he turned around and stormed out of the room, leaving Rosy speechless. The room filled up with silence.

"Well, with Dawn in bed," Brandon said. "Now I can see why Furyfur never updates with Dawn in bed. She adds too much useless crap with Dawn in bed."

Dawn stared at her shoes, absolutely humiliated. May patted her on the back. "It's okay. It'll all be over soon. Just don't look Barry in the eye and it will be over before you know it." May turned to Barry, who was snickering too hard to hear her.

"It ought to be much easier with him gone," Gary said, putting an arm around Rosy. Rosy, who felt shocked and guilty at Tony's departure, shoved his arm away and sat back down.

"Leaf has to style Gary's hair pink," Rosy said. Her voice shook like she was about to cry.

Leaf snapped her fingers and Gary's hair turned a vivid pink.

"Been there, done that," they said at the same time, looking bored. They glanced at each other, blushed, and looked away. Taking a good look at Gary's head, Rosy felt a good deal happier.

"Drew has to go an entire chapter without looking at May," she said. Drew smiled and looked Misty. Misty looked shocked.

"Wh-Wh-Why...Come on, why me?!" she shouted.

"This is too easy," Drew said, narrowing his eyes straight at her chest just to make her freak out twice as much.

"Ooh, this one makes it hard," Rosy said, laughing a little. "May has to stare at Drew. She can't look away. Except for other dares, of course."

May shrugged at stared directly at Drew. Drew fidgeted uncomfortably, but made up for it by shifting his emerald eyes to Misty's legs. Misty gave a frightened whimper.

"Now Misty has to light her hair on fire."

"Oh, come on!!" she protested. "I already have to deal with the biggest pervert in the room besides Barry--" Barry looked up at his mention. "--but now I also have to deal with a flaming head!! And people tell me I already have a flaming head!! Nice, Snow, real nice!"

Rosy whipped out a box of matches. She looked frightened, but she didn't meet anyone's eyes, so no one noticed. She handed them hesitantly to Misty. Misty took them, grumbling to herself. She stroked the match on the side of the box to light it. She took a deep breath and dropped it onto her head. Her hair instantly lit on fire.

"AAARGH!!! Help! Help me!!" she shouted. She tried running towards someone, but they all screamed and avoided her.

"Stop, drop, and roll!" Gary joked.

"NOT FUNNY!!!" both Misty and Rosy screeched at the same time. Gary recoiled, because, as I said before, Misty's tomboy-ness frightened most men.

"Wait a second!!" Misty said, the flames spreading. "I almost forgot to remind myself that I'm a Water Pokemon trainer, just like I do every episode!! MISTY, YOU'RE A WATER POKEMON TRAINER!!!"

Nothing happened.

"Misty, there are no magic words!!" Gary yelled. "You actually have to send out one of your Pokemon!"

"Oh, shoot, really?!"

"Dang it," Gary said angrily. "She's almost as idiotic as Dawn in the first few Sinnoh episodes."

"I was not idiotic!" Dawn protested.

"You forgot to make your Pokeball bigger, and when you remembered, you hit Ash in the face."

"Oh well, live and learn," Paul interrupted. Dawn smiled.

Meanwhile, at Furyfur's computer...

"Darn," she whispered to herself. "I totally forgot that Misty's hair was on fire."

Now back to LTP!

"Go, Starmie!" Misty shouted, throwing her Pokeball. Psyduck, however, popped out of his Pokeball and looked heroic.

"Psyduck, don't be a hero!!" Ash shouted. "She might survive!!"

Misty turned around to Ash. She was now on fire in two different ways. "YOU JERK!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

"Jeez, Misty, stop being such a hothead!" Ash joked as a perfect example of Pokemon humor.

Since Misty was a little occupied, Dawn took the liberty of slapping Ash across the face.

Misty's whole body began to burn. She yelled at Psyduck fruitlessly, but he simply couldn't remember any Water attacks...Misty collapsed.

THE END

...

...just kidding.

"Ash, your dare is to throw your hat onto Misty's burning body!" Rosy called over the rise of the flames.

"No!" Ash shouted, clutching his head. "I keep my brain in this hat! There's no way I'll ever--"

"DO IT OR YOU DIE!!!" Drew barked, his eyes burning because he refused to look away from Misty.

Ash leapt up in the air and threw his hat onto the flames, but it landed on Psyduck. Psyduck got twice as dumb.

"Oh, cool!" Ash shouted. "Does that mean I'm smarter than Psyduck?"

"No, it means you're dumber."

"Oh."

Unlike Psyduck, however, Ash teaches himself Pokemon attacks in his spare time, and one of the moves he knew was Rain Dance. As stupid as it looked to see Ash dancing and calling for rain, it worked.

Psyduck suddenly looked like it got an idea. It leaped into the air and started a pointless dance and shouted "Duck! Duck! Duuuuuck...DUCK!". Now, as Pokemon fans, all of the readers probably think that Psyduck is just translating what Ash does when he Rain Dance, but no, Ash actually shouts "duck" over and over again when he does Rain Dance. He thinks that ducks are supposed to remind him of rain.

...And to even the writer's bewilderment, it started to rain. Raining cats and dogs. Hahaha, that was a joke. Get it? Cats and dogs? Because...it means heavy rain...Do you get it? It's an expression. You wanna hear another one? I walked by my friend the other day who was using a tool to build something. I asked him what tool he was using, and he said it was a monkey wrench. I said that it didn't look like a monkey. Hahaha!! You get it?! Okay, just one more...My friend also said that he was using a screwdriver. Do screws drive? No! They don't even have cars!! Ha...Do you get that one?! Good! Okay, back to the not-as-funny-as-my-jokes story...

Okay, no, it wasn't raining cats and dogs. It was actually raining ducks. You can just forget our new narrator ever said that stuff. We're sorry. I'll call the boss now...She's so gonna fire him...

That wasn't a very good joke, Dan. It had no punch line and that's not even an expression. H-Huh?! Hey, what do you guys want?! Let me go, I'm sane, sane I tell you!! No, no! I'll be back! You haven't seen the last of Rusty the Wrench!! Manny will bail me out, I know he will!!

...Okay. Now we can get back to the story.

It literally started raining ducks. Misty thought she was doomed, but to her surprise, the ducks opened their beaks and all used Water Gun at once. At last, after about ten pointless subplots, the fire was doused and Misty was saved. Ash's hat, not so much.

"Nooooo! I had send in 100 box tops to win this hat!!" Ash shouted.

"There, there. Furyfur will bring it back next scene change," Rosy comforted. "Now, Harley has to go to a funny farm and see what happens."

"Oh, sweet!" Harley shouted. "Loophole! Furyfur just got the Harvest Moon DS Cute video game!!"

"Actually, Harley, that's not what Snowstorm meant," Gary said, getting tired of the nonsense. "You do know what a funny farm is, don't you?"

Rosy's eyes widened. "Oh no. Harley's going to go inside a video game."

So, Harley left to a different, better dimension like he does on Saturdays and occasionally Fridays. Finally, he came to the door of a badly-cared for barn with about four animals that looked sick and unhappy.

"Oh, great," Harley said to himself with sarcasm in his voice. "Just another video game that Furyfur sucks at. Yeah. We needed that."

Harley decided not to knock and opened the door. A girl with long brown hair in pigtails that were so long and so bunched up together they looked like a ponytail was making out with a blonde guy who only looked about half her age. She turned around, her purple eyes wide.

"Huh?!" she said. "Who...Who are you? I didn't say you could come to RiRi farm! Get out! I'm very busy!"

"Ah, she named her farm after her Pachirisu," Harley said. The girl looked confused. The blonde boy looked disgusted.

"You play Pokemon, Karin-chan? That's it, I've had enough of you. I'm going to go find Lumina." He jumped off her bed, grabbed his jacket, and stormed out to go find another slut. Because just one slutty girlfriend is boring.

The girl, Karin, leapt off as well, but she stormed over to Harley. "You!!" she shouted. "Just who are you?! I'm not that big a nerd, so don't go around telling my friends that I am!! Just why are you here?!"

"I am from another universe," Harley said slowly. "I come in peace. My name is Harley, Har-ley."

Karin looked confused. "Um...Is it Halloween already? I forgot to buy candy..."

"Oh, so aliens celebrate Halloween, too!" Harley said happily. "How cool! My favorite part is the children dressing up as funny things. What about you?"

"I really don't need to hear about your obsession with molesting children, cactus-boy."

Back in the second dimension...

"Mew!" Glaceon Leaf said.

"I agree completely, as I have the mysterious power to talk to Pokemon!" Ash said bubbly.

"What'd she say?" Rosy asked.

"She said we finally found a game that's even more dreadfully uneventful than Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban."

"Haven't we already made a million Harry Potter references? I mean, in all of our stories?" Barry asked, making another few paragraphs in his report about magic Pokemon-speaking powers. "Like that one time Harry Potter did a cameo in Pokemon Idol."

"Oh yeah," pink-haired Gary said thoughtfully, running his fingers through his delightfully pink hair. Barry decided to make a note to himself on the margin of his paper and giggled.

"Why haven't I said anything important yet with Dawn in bed?" Brandon asked.

"Because you aren't important. Honestly, I bet Ducky over there could beat you," Paul said.

"I told you not to call me Ducky in public!" Barry argued, placing a hand on his head.

"Be quiet, Ducky."

"Hey," Barry said. "So...What is a funny farm?"

"Well," Dawn started...

Now back to the second-and-a-half dimension...

"Alright!" Harley said. "Now it's time to return from the funny farm!"

"You do know what a funny farm is, don't you?" Karin asked.

Harley waved the magic wand he stole from Brandon and went back to the second dimension. Karin sighed.

"Oh well. Rock, come back!!!"

Back to the second dimension again...

"Okay!" Rosy said. "That was...odd. Since we're done with Snowstorm's dares, let's do Furyfur's two dares now. She's probably laughing at Brandon right now, actually."

Now to the THIRD dimension, in other words the dimension that human beings live in...

"Tee hee."

Finally, back to the second dimension, where the anime and cartoon characters live. =pant, pant=

"Okay!" Barry shouted. "I know Brandon's supposed to go first, but can I go? Please?"

"Sure," Rosy said.

"Please, with Dawn in bed," you-know-who said.

Barry smiled. "And just for the record, I'm only excited about this because it's my new favorite song. And it's been a while since Furyfur typed her own lyrics."

Warm and cold
You drag me down, you left me with your magic
Young and old
I know you well but I don't understand it
Steal and stole
A thousand years of history and future
Colder cold
I am the creator of this illusion

I can leave any day but you're always gonna stay another night

Tokyo
You got the rhythm in you
High and low
Just gotta do it to you
Tokyo
You got the rhythm in you
High and low
Just gotta do it to you

Sleep at night
My eyes are open but I must be dreaming
You and I
We play it cool but underneath we're steaming

You can run, you can hide, but this rollercoaster ride never stops

Tokyo
You got the rhythm in you
High and low
Just gotta give it to you
Tokyo
You got the rhythm in you
High and low
Just gotta do it to you

Just gotta do it to you

Ohhhhhhhhh

I can leave any day but you're always gonna stay another night
And you can run, you can hide, but this rollercoaster ride never stops

Tokyo
You got the rhythm in you
High and low
Just gotta do it to you
Tokyo
You got the rhythm in you
High and low
Just gotta do it to you

Ohhhhhhhhh

"CUTEST THING EVER!!!" was May's immediate response, though she still couldn't take her eyes off of Drew, who couldn't take his eyes off of Misty, who couldn't take her eyes off Ash, who couldn't take his eyes off Dawn, who couldn't take her eyes off Gary's hair, which didn't have eyes, so it just sat there. "That. Song. Is. Soooooooooooooo....CUTE!"

"That was really, really cool!" Dawn shouted as Barry looked proud and started to bow.

"It was terrible," Paul said bitterly. "I can't believe you like that song, Ducky."

"Seconded with Dawn in bed."

"All right!" Rosy said. "Your turn, Brandon. Hey, does anyone know if Furyfur set this up?"

"I don't know," Barry said. "But knowing her, she would want to be in charge of every bit of Brandon's torture. She set it up. I know she did."

"Oh yeah with Dawn in bed!" Brandon shouted, snapping his fingers. "Furyfur sent me over here with a package." He held out a briefcase and started to flip open the locks. "Um...with Dawn in bed."

"Well, whatever a 'torture cycle' is, I doubt any sort of torture instrument could fit in a--" Rosy started. She was cut off as the briefcase exploded in black smoke that filled the entire room. "Eek! She didn't even tell us that it was going to self-destruct this time!"

When the black smoke cleared, large torture instruments became visible on the floor that seemed to have come from medieval times, except they were all re-made with knives and metal. . Brandon's entire face was black and powdery and his hair stuck up. He coughed a mouthful of pain--I mean ashes.

Barry immediately went for a chair that was covered in sharp metal spikes. "This is so sweet! We have to make Brandon do all this stuff?! Cool!"

"COOL with Dawn in bed?! NO with Dawn in bed! This is NOT cool with Dawn in bed!" Brandon shouted in his obnoxious and yell-y matter. He turned around and stormed out of the room. Barry smiled.

"Paul will do it."

"Paul will do what?!" Paul shouted in third person. "Whatever it is, Paul is positive that he doesn't want to do it!!"

"Isn't it obvious? Someone needs to follow him and...well...do all this stuff," Rosy said awkwardly, picking up with torture instruments and placing them back into the briefcase. "Wow, Furyfur didn't think this one over very well. It's almost like she forgot Brandon was a big baby."

"No, she didn't," Drew said. "She'll never forget her theory about the alien's children who all sucked at life and the one named Brandon."

Paul sighed as Rosy handed him the briefcase. "Fine. I guess I have to, since I'm the only one who isn't doing anything." Paul turned to the door and walked out in a perfect imitation of Brandon. Dawn giggled, but by the look on Paul's face, he wasn't trying to be funny.

"While we do that, let's move onto our next reviewer," Rosy said sweetly. "MrMissMrs Random. We'll do the first dare later, since it's for Brandon and Ash."

"Wait, if it was originally for Paul..." Ash said, horror struck. "...than it had to be a Comashipping dare, right?"

"Ah, Comashipping," Barry said dreamily. "Good times, good times. Best FanFiction ever."

"Yes," Rosy said. "Well...Isn't there a shipping for Brandon and Ash?"

Meanwhile, in the third dimension...

"I don't get it! It MUST exist! Somewhere!! Three frickin' hours wasted and I can't even get to the list of Bulbapedia shippings!! And if I'm looking for the Bulbapedia page for Pokemon information, then I'm totally okay with something inaccurate!! HELP!"

End of boring rant. Now to the more exciting dimension, where girls dress up like cats and Night Tenjo becomes Riiko Izawa's dog.

"Okay, next dare!" Rosy said. "Gary h--"

A girl appeared out of nowhere and whacked him on the head with a battle axe, right on his pink hair.

"Do you HAVE to keep mentioning my hair?!" Gary yelled at the third dimension. The third dimension kicked him in the Land of the Lost, and he shut up, partly because it was too painful to speak. Since the kick was cross-dimensional, it was ten times as strong as a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. This was given with permission from Chuck Norris first, of course.

Back to the third dimension...

"Tee hee."

That's it, I'm quitting if this is all I have to do!! Let's just go back to the second dimension where Gary is suffering from a near-fatal kick to the crotch! =storms away=

"Well," Rosy said. "That's over with. Now Harley gets to choose someone to...um...go in the closet with."

"I choose Gary-poos!"

"CURSE YOU, FURYFUR!!!" Gary shouted to the sky.

"Furyfur's aunt knew Chuck Norris," Ash said. "She told me."

"You know what? It seems like everyone she knows knew somebody famous, but she's been a nobody all her life. I mean, first Mike from Linkin Park and now Chuck Norris."

"No one cares, let's just do something exciting, as Brandon would say, with Dawn in bed," Drew sneered, creeping Misty out to her fullest extent.

"Okay!!" Barry shouted eagerly, every bit of his pervy-ness on full display.

So, pink-haired Gary and purple-haired Harley went into the closet. Rosy hit a button on a remote.

"Hey, why does Furyfur need cameras everywhere?" Rosy asked. Barry shrugged. Ash smiled.

"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

"Oh," Rosy said. "Okay, then--"

"All right, you convinced me! Furyfur doesn't have a life of her own and wants to pick up social tips from us!"

"That's not true," Barry interrupted.

"Shut up, Ducky! I was joking!" Ash snapped.

"I am not a Ducky."

"Whatever, Ducky. She wants to have reasons to kill us, because she usually doesn't."

"R-Really?"

"Don't worry, she doesn't kill her OCs," Ash assured. "An OC doesn't die in any of her storied." He leaned over to Barry. "Make sure she doesn't read FlashClan." Barry nodded.

"Next!" Rosy said. "Leaf gets an Eevee evolution army led by a Glaceon named Riley. What? There's a note here...'Use it wisely.' Well, I'm just going to assume that means attack Paul."

Speaking of mindless emo losers, Brandon and Paul entered back into the room. They both looked like they had been in a fight that Brandon had lost like the little pansy he is. Both of them refused to speak to each other out of both pride, and in Brandon's case, humiliation.

"Awesome!" Barry shouted.

"Do I need to strangle you with Dawn in bed?"

"Y--" Barry looked at Dawn. "I mean!! Um, there'll be no need for that!!" Dawn pouted and looks away, which happened a lot in season one for no adequately explored reason.

"MEWZELZ!!!" Leaf shouted with utterly random joy. All of the Eevee-lutions jumped into action and began to chew Drew, Barry, Gary, and Ash to bits.

"Whoops," Rosy said. She pointed up to a screen that no one had noticed so far. "The Pokemon Translator says that she said "attack the biggest perverts in the room." I'm guessing that was the wrong command."

"MEWKUMEWZUU!!" she bellowed.

"Huh," Rosy said, staring as random letters filled the screen. "I think she messed that one up."

"HGBVRERCWSH/BFTYV ^ R%$W# OPP{_)*%# HUEAQ!)(*&^%$//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////OVERLOADOVERLOADOVERLOAD.........................."

"Well. That's fifty bucks wasted."

"MEWMAHMEWMAHMOOZLEZ!" Leaf shouted. It appeared to be the right command, so the army centered their hatred on Paul.

4Kids LTP Dub:

Big chunks of meat and steak sauce flew around the scene as Leaf's army tickled Paul until he was crying of happiness. "NOOOO!" Paul shouted. "Not my lunch box!! Since I am dubbed by 4Kids, I therefore have an uncontrollable craving for junk food!! Because apparently that's funny!!" Leaf laughed maniacally because she remembered a funny joke that Rusty the Wrench made. Meanwhile, Paul had a flashback about Misty yelling at Ash.

Uncut AKA Awesome Version:

Paul's limbs were ripped from his torso and his blood was pried out of his veins and thrown aside as the Eevee-lutions focused their attention fully to his face, ripping apart his features until he was a big, bloody mess. "NOOOO!" Paul shouted. "Oh god, they're seriously ripping apart my lunch! DARN IT!!! Doesn't this kind of stuff happen in Tokyo Mew Mew? To ICHIGO?! I am NOT ICHIGO!!!" Leaf laughed maniacally and continued to help the Eevee-lutions destroy everything that Paul's fangirls considered good and decent. Oh wait, he doesn't have fangirls, and there's nothing good or decent about him!! Meanwhile, Paul had a flashback about Misty slapping Ash.

End of pointless comparison. You gotta love 4Kids, right?

"All right!" Rosy said, paying no attention to Paul. "Now it's Misty's dare. Ahem...'Carrot top.'"

"I'm sorry?"

"I don't know. Dawn has to cheer for all those fans out there."

Dawn smiled. "You mean our fans? Like, the Pokemon fans?"

"I dunno, I guess so," Rosy said.

"I need to cheer?" Dawn said thoughtfully. "Hm...Let me think..."

Hello loser team!
How do ya do? (clap)
This Pokemon team girl's got a boogie for you!
We're gonna turn around
We're gonna touch the ground
We're gonna jump back,
and jump back,
and boogie on down!
'said shah shah shah shah booty
(clap, clap, clap)
shah shah shah-booty
A WOOSH-A booty,
shah shah shah booty
(Clap, clap, clap)
Yay Pokemon fans!

"Cute!" May said, high-fiving Dawn who squealed with excitement.

"That was nice!" Rosy said. "But 'loser' team?"

"Well, should we just do a Pokemon rival show?" May said thoughtfully.

"Digimon? Yu-Gi-Oh?"

"What about Naruto?"

"That's not a rival show."

"It's not? Well, I just improvised."

The three girls started to chat about their latest cheering stories and how awesome the cheers were. The boys looked pleased at the thought of their friends in cheer uniforms, except for Ash.

"Girls have cooties," he mumbled, looking disgusted.

"May," Rosy said. "You have a question. How many roses has Drew ever given you?"

"I don't know, I lost track after fifty."

"Hey!" Drew shouted. "I only gave you forty-nine!" He got up and walked over to May, handed her a rose, and sat back down and continued to stare at Misty. "There. Now it's fifty." May looked baffled. Dawn and Rosy smiled and squealed to each other happily.

"Okay," Rosy said bubbly. She felt on top of the world and nothing could ruin her mood. "Drew has to be May's slave. Hee hee! Complete with the outfit."

"Of course," Drew mumbled. He left for the bathroom to change. He called a few seconds later: "What's this for?!"

May sighed and went to go check on him. As soon as she entered, she shouted "That's Rosy's bra, you dumb bastard!!" Rosy gasped and ran into the bathroom. Drew was indeed holding up her bra, which was actually connected to May's bra and Dawn's bra and Misty's underwear, so Drew couldn't tell what it was. =I was wondering how Drew got to be so dumb, and then I realized that he could've just dyed his hair green and he was naturally blonde.=

"DREW!!!"

"Hey, it was mixed with all the clothes how was I supposed to know which--"

Slap.

"Never mind."

May and Rosy stood glaring at Drew for a few seconds before they both realized that he was half-dressed. Rosy turned to May.

"Are you going to do something?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

After that bizarre moment, Drew finished changing and served May hand-and-foot while staring evilly at Misty. May never stopped giving him a hard time about his perverted movement, which he made without realizing at all.

"Anything else, my dear?" Drew mumbled in his black-and-white dress, glaring at Misty.

"No, that will be all, lowly peasant."

"Mumble, mumble..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, ma'am."

Rosy laughed. Hosting on her own was twice as much fun without someone arguing constantly with Gary. She looked at the list of her dares to find out what fun she would be able to watch next. Her smile disappeared.

"Tony and I...must go on a...on a date...and no one can disturb it," she said quietly. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at her. Rosy felt their eyes on her. Her eyes filled with tears as she got up and ran away, sobbing.

"Tony!!"

A door clicked and opened. Tony stood in the doorway looking angry. Rosy didn't think it would be that easy.

"What do you want?" he asked coldly. Rosy didn't bother to hide her wail and practically dove into Tony's arms. She rested her head on Tony's shoulder and gazed forward, crying as silently as she could. It felt a good deal better like that. It was almost like all the problems in the world were disappearing, like Tony wasn't even there. To her surprise, Tony hugged her back.

"What's wrong, Rosy? What happened?"

Rosy started to hiccup. "I didn't--hic--I never went--hic--Gary and I..."

Rosy could practically feel Tony's frown.

"...I'm sorry," she completed, knowing she couldn't convince him any further. "It was kind of a real date, but that was the only time I'd--hic--ever do it again. I--hic--I promise."

"It's okay," Tony said softly. "Are you doing okay hosting by yourself?"

"Well, I--hic--I was...Oh no, no one's out there..."

"No, it's all right, we can fix it," he assured. Rosy refused to look him in the eye, but she also refused to let him go. Now came the hard part.

"You and I--hic--as a d-dare--hic--we have to g--hic--go..."

Tony tried in vain to look her in the eye. "Are you asking me out?"

"Well...hic...I h-have to..." she said hurriedly.

"All right, then...It's a date?"

"Yeah," Rosy said, regaining control of her voice. "I g-guess so..."

Meanwhile, at the building full of useless people...

"Okay," Leaf said, magically transforming from her Glaceon form back into herself. "Since both of them are mentally unstable, I'll host."

"Darn it with Dawn in bed!!"

"Brandon and Ash have to kiss."

"Worst. Yaoi. Ever," Dawn mumbled. "Well, second beside Ash and Brock."

"For the last time, Brock knows that I was kidding!!" Ash shouted.

...And the rest, well, you can figure out.

Hahaha...I could write Shounen manga. And Drew can watch.

Drew- Excuse me? For your information, I'm not that big a pervert...

Me- Look at him, he's being modest.

Drew- Oh, shut up!

May- Hey, Furyfur, this wasn't exactly the ending I suspected. I mean, are you that big a Yaoi fan?

Me- Yes I am, thanks for asking. And if that ending wasn't good enough for you, maybe something witty will happen in the next scene. And sorry I haven't updated in months. Peace! ~Furyfur

Meanwhile...

"So," Barry said to Dawn. "What is a funny farm?"