Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, thank you for taking the time to read this story. Let us begin this chapter.
Step Nine: Sacrifice
If there was one thing that never ceases to amaze me, it would be the information network that runs through our school. It's not that I wished to keep my relationship with Kanji private or a secret, but I was never one for being the center of attention despite how much I seemed to gather it. It hadn't taken long, but then again, I didn't do anything to delay the inevitable either. It had only been the very next day during first period when Rise decided to message me.
To: Naoto Shirogane
From: Rise Kujikawa
So… How was the movie? ^-^
- Risette
In the few months that had passed, I had taken to simply ignore most messages from Rise for obvious reasons. Perhaps I had been feeling a little happier that morning or perhaps I had decided that I simply didn't care anymore now that things between Kanji and myself have taken a turn for the better. Whatever the reason may be, I had decided to respond back to her.
To: Rise Kujikawa
From: Naoto Shioagane
I'm not sure. I didn't see it in its entirety. Kanji, whom I can only surmise is all your doing that he was there in the first place, had been kicked out of the theater. Instead of making him wait for me outside in the rain, I decided to leave with him.
- Naoto
To: Naoto Shirogane
From: Rise Kujikawa
Aww… that's a bummer. I heard that was a great movie too! What'd you guys end up doing?
-Risette
To: Rise Kujikawa
From: Naoto Shirogane
Aside from being caught in the rain without umbrellas? Nothing, we went for the train station and headed home.
-Naoto
To: Naoto Shirogane
From: Rise Kujikawa
Really? That's it?… Kanji was in such a good mood this morning when I saw him I figured you guys might have hit it off or something…
-Risette
To: Rise Kujikawa
From: Naoto Shirogane
Ah… Well, the train arrived late at the station. On our way back, the train had lost electricity. I believe you would have experienced a blackout at your residence last night? I had not gotten home until very early this morning and even then, I had only enough time to get changed and get to school. By the way, I wish for my things back.
-Naoto
To: Naoto Shirogane
From: Rise Kujikawa
Wait… wait… so you guys were stuck on a train until this morning? Why would THAT put Kanji in a good mood? I would have been miserable, those things are stuffy and the seats are uncomfortable.
-Risette
To: Rise Kujikawa
From: Naoto Shirogane
I'm not sure what would put him in such a good mood to be honest. After his mother caught us kissing in her kitchen late that night, I'd felt rather embarrassed more than anything. Especially since she seemed to be under the false assumption that I'm a boy.
-Naoto
I still find a strange sense of amusement in that memory. Whatever Rise had in response to the last text, I didn't bother to answer nor look. I figured that had been clarification enough on how the evening had gone for Kanji and myself. By the time lunch had come around, I started hearing people talk about Kanji and myself and our 'supposed' relationship. By the end of the day, it was all across the entire school. Rise was always one for gossip, but I didn't think it would have taken only a day for the rumor to spread like wildfire.
Within a week, not much had changed compared to the first day. Our relationship was still being spoken about in the halls. On the other hand, there had been a drastic decrease of letters being left in my footlocker. Kanji and I didn't see each other everyday, nor did we really openly display our affections. I'm not one for such displays, and I don't think he is either. A couple of days we had met at the exit of the school and would walk home together or go someplace to eat. Not much changed.
The second week is when a problem started to arise. I don't know why people can't mind their own business, really. I suppose I can only blame myself. When I first arrived at this school, I confused a lot of people (at least that's what Rise tells me). Guys who thought I was a guy were nervous about themselves, and girls fawned over me (some still do). When the truth of my gender came out, I upset a lot of people for not being so open about it. Needless to say, there are some people who are still a little sore about that. I wasn't aware of it until midway through the second week of our relationship. One day, during the second week of our relationship, something serious came up. Honestly, I never would have known there had been a problem had Rise not brought it to my attention earlier that day. She had sent me a message telling me that Kanji was having some trouble. It hadn't been a day that Kanji and I were going to meet so I had already been on my way out. Although I was already on my way out of the school, I did not hesitate to turn back around and find Kanji.
Being a detective, I immediately found him with several other boys. I had taken the opportunity to stand back and find out what exactly the problem was between them all.
"We hear you're dating that Shirogane girl." I recognized the two other boys as second years, but their names eluded me.
Kanji didn't look particularly interested in the conversation. He just had his back pressed against some lockers and gave them the barest of attention, "Yeah… what of it?"
"Man… must be weird dating some girl that barely passes as one."
"What's that s'pose to mean?" Of course, even when he doesn't pay much attention to people, that doesn't prevent them from upsetting him. Kanji really needs to learn to control his temper.
"Just saying. Kind of mmm… queer if you ask me. I mean, she did pass for a boy for awhile, still kind of does with the way she dresses. Hell, maybe it's all a scam and she really is a he."
"Why don't you idiots jus' shut y'mouths? Y'don't even know her."
"I think you're gay. You have to be if you're with Shirogane. Doesn't make sense otherwise."
"Shut the hell up!"
"Or what? You going to do something?"
Kanji would do something, and he probably would have had I not decided to intervene. "Gentlemen." I called for all of their attention as I stepped toward the issue at hand. "I believe school has let out, and if I recall the rules and regulations, your harassment breaks the terms and could very easily be rectified by informing the proper personnel on this campus. But I needn't do that because you'll be leaving now, correct?"
There was a moment that looked like the boys were going to challenge me, but they seemed to think better of it because they walked away. They threw back a rude comment or two but I didn't pay it any heed as I moved toward Kanji. "Are you alright?"
"Fine. Woulda taken care of'em myself. Ddin't need no help." He was upset, I could tell.
"I apologize."
"What the hell you apologizing for? You ain't one of the assholes who decided to try and dick around with me."
"Yes but it seemed that their reasons are because of me."
"Ain't nothing new."
"You mean this has happened before?"
"Wait… no... That's not what I meant."
"No, I believe it is. Kanji, be honest with me, has our relationship caused such troubles aside from the one I just witnessed?"
"Ain't nothing I can't handle."
That was a 'yes' in Kanji's vocabulary. This troubled me greatly. If our relationship was going to cause confrontations between Kanji and other students, it could very well get him suspended from the school. Kanji could never control his temper, and he'd likely get into a fight. With his standings with the school disciplinary, it was likely they wouldn't even listen to any excuses he might give even if he wasn't the one to strike the first blow.
"Don't worry 'bout it Naoto."
That was easy for him to say because he wasn't thinking of the bigger picture. Perhaps the reason for the attacks on Kanji is because I refused to openly acknowledge in school that the two of us are together. The most we ever display is walking out of the school together. There was no hand holding, no secret rendezvous in the halls like other couples, there weren't even persistent exchange of text messages between the two of us that filled every hour of the school day. Perhaps the relationship was confusing people again, and they weren't sure what to believe. Or maybe I'm looking at this from the wrong angle. Perhaps the issue is not the relationship so much, but myself.
Even after the knowledge of my true gender came out to public knowledge, I still refused to dress as such. I don't wear the required girl uniform for the school, and I'm always wearing pants and shirts. I'm not giggling in the halls about some schoolgirl crush that I currently have. I had not been approached to discuss specifically about my relationship with Kanji, so I never had to deal with other people because of it. Kanji hasn't done anything that would warrant people to corner me and then question our relationship. No… it seems that I'm bad for him rather then he being bad for me.
"The fact that people bother you about such things is what worries me."
"Like I said, I can deal with it."
"You shouldn't HAVE to deal with it."
"Ain't like those assholes know who you are."
"No, they don't." And that right there might be the problem. No one really knows who I am, do they? Perhaps that was something that needs to be changed just to ensure Kanji wouldn't have to deal with anymore trouble in the future. "I wish to ask you something."
He looked uncomfortable for a moment, "Uh… sure… shoot."
"Do you feel like this relationship is worth it?"
"Wh-what? You ain't like… you ain't breaking up wit me or sumthin'm, are you?"
I shook my head, "No… I simply wished to ask you if being in a relationship with me would still be worth it despite dealing with people like those two."
"Oh… Pft… don't be an idiot. 'Course it's worth it. I'd deal with any number of them assholes."
"It could lead to a fight eventually, and with your standing with the school, you could be suspended, or well…expelled."
"None of that matters to me." He blushed and looked off to the side in discomfort, "I-I mean… it does. But uh… I mean, y'know… I'd have you."
I lowered my gaze to stare at his feet as I felt my own face heat up at that answer. It honestly was…sweet. "I-I see… So you're saying you'd be willing to sacrifice your education just to be with me."
"Uh… guess… so?"
"Then perhaps I need to figure out what I'm willing to sacrifice to make this work…"
"So… we cool then? Wanna go somewhere?"
"No… I… I need to meet up with Rise-chan. I'll talk to you later though."
And so I had. I called up Rise and asked her for a favor. It was a big one, it was embarrassing; and honestly, I wasn't sure if doing what I was planning would honestly even help with the trouble Kanji was getting. I simply wished to display my desire to make things work, and show that I was willing to make sacrifices just the same as him. Of course, I wasn't willing to display my sacrifice until that Saturday when I had everything in order. I arrived at school late. The bell had already gone off and I was heading towards my homeroom class when I caught sight of Kanji in the hall with the same two boys from before. Kanji looked upset, or angry.
I didn't wait around to find out what they were talking about this time. I marched right up to the small group and said, "Excuse me gentlemen."
They turned to look at me for only a split second before turning back to Kanji. My boyfriend, however, just kept staring at me. "Beat it, honey. This isn't any of your business."
"I believe it is, seeing how it's my boyfriend you seem to be giving a hard time."
"Wait, what?" Then they turned to look at me again. I continued giving them a leveled stare even as they stood there to gawk at me. It was no surprise that they hadn't even noticed who they were talking to a moment ago. The entire school population was used to seeing me wearing ambiguous clothing. No one aside from Rise and Kanji have ever seen me wear a dress. For me to be in the uniform designated for the female student body would be shock enough. Add to the fact that, with Rise's help, I was actually wearing light blue eye shadow, lip gloss, and eyeliner. My appearance at that time would make anyone second guess who they were looking at.
For a strong relationship, we must be willing to make sacrifices. To show Kanji that I was willing to do what I can to make it work out between us. I wanted to show him that I was willing to sacrifice my dignity even if it is just for a single day. People would see me, gawk at me, and would no longer have any reason to bother Kanji for whatever reason.
"I believe class has already started." I mentioned to all of them before stepping forward and grabbing Kanji's hand. His palm was sweaty, and it didn't take much coaxing to have him follow me away from the two idiots that had been bothering him. "I don't think it would be too much to ask for you two to leave my boyfriend alone from now on." I tossed over my shoulder. Kanji didn't have anything to voice out even as we parted to enter our separate classrooms. It wasn't until the first class period was well into session that I got a response from him.
To: Naoto Shirogane
From: Kanji Tatsumi
Was…was that really you?
-Kanji
To: Kanji Tatsumi
From: Naoto Shirogane
Was it a bit too much? Perhaps I shouldn't have added the makeup.
-Naoto
To: Naoto Shirogane
From: Kanji Tatsumi
NO! I mean, damn. Bet those assholes are still in the hall with their mouths hanging open. I know I would be."
-Kanji
To: Kanji Tatsumi
From: Naoto Shirogane
I shall take that as a compliment then. Do not get used to the change. I was only doing it for today in an attempt to get you out of future confrontations with other students. I don't want you to get in trouble because we're together.
-Naoto
To: Naoto Shirogane
From: Kanji Tatsumi
Pft… s'cool. Don't think I'll be having much to worry 'bout anymore. Uh… doing anything after class? Maybe we could go somewhere and do something or something…
-Kanji
To: Kanji Tatsumi
From: Naoto Shirogane
Very well. I shall meet you after school then.
-Naoto.
To my knowledge, Kanji didn't have any more run-ins with those two individuals, nor did our relationship lead to any other trouble for him. I didn't wear the girls' uniform again, and I reverted back to my customary clothing. I had proven my point; there was no more need to change my usual school wardrobe. I asked Kanji if he would prefer to have myself dress more like a girl more often. But he answered that he wanted me to be comfortable with who I am, just as he's comfortable being with me for who I am. I took that as a clear sign that he wouldn't be disappointed if I stashed the dress in my closet to never see the light of day again.
I find myself wondering if I would be where I am today, had it not been for the case in Inaba all that time ago. Had I not made friends with Kanji and the rest of the team, would I have ever gotten in a relationship with Kanji? Would I have ever even met him? In my mind, I know the answer is no. When reading one of my detective novels, I picture myself working on some other case that draws us together. We're working together to solve some incredible case. At first we're butting heads and don't trust one another because I'm a detective and he's got a reputation for being some punk in a biker gang. We learn to work together, and even develop a mutual respect for one another. As the case gets us deeper into trouble, we become protective of one another, and then eventually that leads to attraction.
Then as I imagine these situations, I have to stop and recall that would've happened if such circumstances had risen. Had our reality been shifted to bring us together in such a different fashion, our relationship would be far more awkward because Kanji would never know that I'm not a man. Still… it's a fun world to let my imagination wander to from time to time as I read my books. I'm… happy with the way things turned out between Kanji and me. I'm content with the circumstances that brought us together. I don't know how long we'll be together, and I don't know if we'll last together. I go day by day and not think what the future will bring. Kanji makes me happy; he makes me laugh and smile. For now…
...that's enough for me.
A/N: That is the end of the story. Thank you so much, but fear not because even though this story is ending, a new one is beginning. This is what you have to look for in the future, if you wish to read another Naoto/Kanji fic. One that takes on a much more serious atmosphere but AU in that it doesn't follow Persona 4 universe.
When suspected gang leader, Kanji Tatsumi unknowingly becomes a witness to the current case; he becomes a target and it's up to Naoto to keep the witness, and herself, alive long enough to solve the case. Forced to become a bodyguard for a man twice her size, Naoto needs to keep her composure and the situation under control. Now if only the two could trust and cooperate with one another. No one said this would be easy. A story of mystery, murder, hidden motives, loyalty, detectives, and… dolls? Look for it soon: "The Pint-Sized Detective and Sewing Needles"