Hello My pen name is Jared, I have no desire to tell you my likes or dislikes... dreams for the future...? hmmm... well, I have lots of hobbies...

-Hatakai Kakashi... almost

Okay, seriously

GENERAL DISCLAIMER: I have a lot of trouble supporting the views and morals of others who, frankly, are not uplifting, tag on inappropriate views of the opposite sex, or try to demean members of the family. This is so that I can be true to myself and stop promoting things I don't believe in.

I am sorry this caused me to delete the stories that I have already begun. For those of you who wish to continue reading my work, please look forward to my First original story, StarFall, (title pending) in coming years.

I will be writing more original work. This work will contain what I believe is missing from media in our day.

Okay... I am a boy

Age: 23

Description: Why would you want to know this? Rephrase: Why would you NEED to know this? Unless... STALKER!! HELP!! HELP!! STALKER!!

Here's some stuff to help you figure out my personality:

Put this in your Profile if you are a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and proud of it!

WHEN I SAY I AM A CHRISTIAN

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I was lost!"
That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority in that.
I only know I'm loved.

I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

RULES
You must fill out EVERY question! No skipping!
Copy and paste this on your profile!

ARE YOU? (Re-Answered 10/18/15)

1. Perfect? No, but I am getting close.
2. Tall? Tall is relative, to most shorter people, I am tall.
3. In your pajamas? Yes, I'm sick and supposed to be asleep, if you'd inform my body of that, it'd be appreciated.
4. Left handed? Right, actually.

LAST:

1. Friend you saw: John
3. Person to text you: Don't have a phone right now, my dad wants me to get one (Cellphones are leashes, don't put them on!)
4. Was today better than yesterday? Only on Thursday. (Or Friday.)

FAVORITES:

1. Number: I'm too good at math to have a favorite number, changes the results you see. (However, 'X' just seems to pop out.)
2. Color(s): Red, but blue likes me too.
3. Fruit: Myself, or some people around me, but that's another discussion entirely.
4. Place: Reno, Nevada (Where I served as a Full-Time missionary, they needed me.)

EIGHT EMOTIONS:

1. Are you missing someone right now? No. I'm at peace, actually that's a pleasant change, I'll see everyone soon enough.
2. Are you happy? Happiness is an emotion that lasts, so yes I am happy.
3. Are you sad? I've been sad, does that count? (Who in their right mind asks 'Are you happy' and 'Are you sad' right next to each other anyway?)
4. Are you bored? A little, why do you think I'm doing this?
6. Are you nervous? About what? That's a random question to ask.
8. Are you tired? Three years almost without a whole nights sleep, you do the math.

ABOUT YOU:

2. Nick names? Chard. (Don't ask.)
3. Eye color? Brown, with natural color alterations to both. My left eye has a sort of golden tint to it, while my right is kind of reddish (harder to see).
4. Zodiac sign? The centaur... who memorizes the actual names anyways? (I'm already freakish enough for knowing which one. stega... something.)
5. Male or female? Male.
6. Slut? Happily a virgin, thank you very much.
7. Smart? You ask people to answer this themselves?!
8. Hair color? Dirty strawberry blonde.
9. Long or short? ...Long or short what? Hair? Sleeves? Potential Life-span? Short to all, except the last, hopefully.
10. Sweats or Jeans? Jeans, unless I have kaki's
11. Phone or Camera? Camera. (The leash is always there... Run away! Run Away!)
12. Drink or Smoke? I prefer to have my lungs/liver WITHOUT extensive renovation. Strange, I know.
13. Righty or lefty? Right to the left of the right is not it.

FIRSTS:

1. First best friend? Are you a stalker? Mandy, but are you a Stalker?
2. First crush? Don't remember her name. Funny how that works, huh? I do remember it was in fifth grade though.
3. First pet? Depends, Endy was the first one, the little skipperkey never got above my knee and could still take out anything that intruded. (Humans would be wary of him in his prime. Correction: Have been, funny story there.)
The first animal to live with us was a golden retriver named Sparky, not entirly his fault how he turned out. But still not the sort you'd leave small teenagers around. (Personal experience.)
4. First big vacation? Madison Gardens in Denver. (Though there was Nauvoo before that...)

CURRENTLY:

1. Eating? Air, it is a very nutrious supplement.
2. Drinking? The Knowlege Gained through Answering Stupid Questions.
3. I'm about to: Sleep.
4. Listening to? Clock ticking.

5. Plans for today? Go to church and hopefully sleep this off.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

1. Shorter or taller? Short enough that they can tease themselves over the difference in height, tall enough that I don't have to bend over while we're dancing.
2. Romantic or spontaneous? Romantic, Romantic ones will always have your back. As long as they are committed to coming closer to God and you are committed to coming closer to God, and you consider the marriage as part of coming closer to God, it will work out.
3. Sensitive or loud? Sensitive, I prefer those who think before speaking and have something of worth to say. (I also have a habit of increasing confidence in those who lack it, so no problem there.)
4. Hook-up or relationship? Do I really need to answer this? If you get me into a marriage (which is what I will look for), you'll never be rid of me. As long as you keep up your end to the best of your abilities, I will keep up mine.

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Drank bubbles? No, I was mildly afraid of getting dirty as a kid, (Thank you stupid school system!) so I never did anything that... disgusting. (Do you know what goes in that?!)
2. Lost glasses/contacts? Nope, the wonders of 20X20 vision. (Cus' not having glasses is obviously the better benifit vs. being able to see.)
3. Ran away from home? Yes, several times, something always stopped me, usually a family member who I was not AS mad at remiding me of someone who would be crushed if I left. However, I eventually realized a food problem... and then I never attempted to run away again. (Sad, but true.)
4. Broken someone's heart? Yes, crushed it like a grape. could've handled it better, but it needed to happen.
5. Been arrested? If I were brought to trial, I could almost be dismissed of charges for being me.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

1. Miracles? I could start listing miracles in my life, but I'd lose track of them.
2. Yourself? Yes, God gave me the tools I need? (Including the ability to learn more tools!) People who don't believe in themselves don't understand everything God has given them.
3. Heaven? Does the rain fall? The sun shine? The wind blow and life move? These testify of God and Heaven.
4. Santa Claus? He is a character taken from a European holiday and added to Christmas in an effort to make people forget that it's CHRISTmas. (No atheists required) The sad thing is that it's working.
4. Love? Love is a fundemental emotion of the human soul, without it we would wither. Yes, yes I do.
5. Do you like someone? I like a lot of people, but as far as romance goes I'm still working on getting a good place to look for them.(Good ones are caught in good places)
6. Do you believe in God? With all my Heart, mind, and strength, on the deepest level I think I've never doubted it. It's harder to explain to people who aren't open to the concept, so I won't try.
7. Answered the truth on all questions? Why would you ask a question like this? You can't verify it. You already asked us to be honest. do you think anyone would waste their time lying about something stupid...?

Never mind, Yes I was honest.

I am open to suggestions! Except for:

Don't ask for homosexual relations of any kind from me, homosexuality is one of the few things I hate. It indirectly attacks the principle of the family, one of the most important principles on earth.

Family Drama is carefully calculated, don't ask for more of that either.

Another thing that I hate is when people say that yin and yang are representations of good and evil, THEY AREN'T

They are aspects of human nature and are extremely hard to define. Yin is recessive, a state of being, to make it easier for people who read/watch Naruto, Hinata is Yin impersonified, Yang is her complete opposite, Naruto. (This is off of their characters towards the beginning.)

Everyone has both Yin and Yang in themselves so you need to be careful, Hinata's will to change herself is a Yang characteristic. Naruto's constant, unwavering desire to protect is yin, remember state of being, in other words never changing.

A fever would be a Yang characteristic, a feeling of weakness would be Yin.

Yin and Yang can be used in other comparisons, but its primary purpose is medical, the religion of Taoism is a branch off of the medical theory behind it.

Yet another thing I dislike is when people say, 'Don't hate hate Naruto, he didn't have a choice. He should be a hero!'

The two statements are contradictory. A hero is someone who can back down, let others take the hit, but chooses not to. Naruto didn't have a choice. That makes him just another victim of the attack. He just recieved a different type of wound to overcome.

He is a hero for successfully suppressing/overcoming his hatred and pain long enough to deal with it properly. He chose Love over Revenge. That's respectable. That's heroic.

Because he chose to be.

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some

friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared
their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned,
and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid
because it was a small town and she lived only
a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees,
Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short
cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a
man standing at the end as though he were
waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and security wrapped round her, she felt as
though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she
walked right past the man and arrived
home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper
that a young girl had been raped in the same
alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the fact that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help
this young woman, she decided to go to the
police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to
look at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the
man she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been identified,
he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and
asked if there was anything they could do
for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She had two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
believe in God..

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you
no matter what...and if you stand up for him he will
stand up for you.

The Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight

1. Werewolves are only immortal as long as they want to be. Yeah. Kind of strange. Apparently it has to do with how often they choose to become wolves. Of course, these are quite strange werewolves who don’t follow the moon.

2. Vampires sparkle in the sun. Really. And no one ever laughs at them when they do this. Then again, they only ever show this to lovestruck teenage girls.

3. In a werewolf/vampire/human threesome, the human has to be in the middle so the freezing vampire and burning werewolf balance each other out. Or something like that.

4. It is not at all creepy to make an unborn baby your soulmate nor is it creepy to raise your soulmate from infancy as its father/brother and then become its lover.

5. Author Stephenie Meyer is apparently a big supporter of the rights of demon babies.

6. Wanting to literally eat your girlfriend is romantic, not deeply disturbing.

7. Jeopardizing a fragile treaty between two very dangerous, deadly groups because you can’t control your hormones is endearing, not painfully stupid.

8. When you’re friends with vampires and werewolves, you no longer are required to care about your human friends and family.

9. When a guy you have been dating for a few months abruptly leaves and never plans on coming back and you take to cliff diving to hear his voice, you are in no way crazy nor should you look into therapy.

10. You should never, ever let Bella and Edward name anything. Ever.

11. TELLING a group of vampires that want to kill your baby that she is half human will do nothing. Finding someone who claims that they are half-human solves everything. They’ll even kill that vampire that’s out to get you for you.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Darwin Award Winners:

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners.

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked... And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a 20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the 20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...15.

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5a.m., flashed a gun, demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast . The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering human-kind please share these with your friends and family ... unless of course, one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, “AMEN!”

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

7.Finish All Your sentences with ‘In Accordance With The Prophecy’.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go’.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream’I Won! I Won!’

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,’Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

You know you live in 2008 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password into the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually look to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Repost if you fell for it. You know you did

98 percent of teenagers make up percent stats as though they actually did the research. here's some examples!

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Orlando Bloom said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your carcass off.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

Im' an adult, so I can make up stats! Besides, I'm with the voting office!

If you don't write or read slash, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile!

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burst into laughter at something that happened last week copy to profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.

Harmonic Strings

This is a story I once heard...

A Christan went into a barber shop for a hair cut. Soon the barber that was cutting his hair found out that he was Christan.

"God doesn't exist." The man said in a gruff voice "There are people in pain, the world is cruel, God does nothing that he promised he would, because he doesn't exist." The man knew not what to say then, but instead paid for his haircut and left.

The next day, as he was passing the barber shop, he saw a person with greasy, unkept hair. He walked in the barber shop.

"Barbers don't exist." The man told the barber.

"What are you talking about, I'm right here!" The man had responded, rolling his eyes.

"Not everyone has well kept hair."

"Not every one comes to me."

"Exactly." The man said before walking out of the shop.