IMPORTANT NOTICE! STORIES WILL NO LONGER BE UPDATED ON HERE. PLEASE REFER TO MY NEW PROFILE INSTEAD:

thatsnotmyname32

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I'VE CHANGED MY PEN NAME!

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I'm officially on AO3! Yay! Same name as here, but with underscores instead of spaces. ;)

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FYI, I DON'T WRITE BORUTO FICS!

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Also, I'm Elspeth'sQuest on fictionpress.

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The author formerly known as 'Gaara's Plaything,' and 'Myrddin Emrys The Third.'

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Thinking of buying some gruff billy goats to take out some trolls... :P

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That moment when you're reading a review, and someone's praising how you kept them in character, or how you planned that scene just perfectly... Whatever, bro. I just wrote some random crap that I don't even know how it ended up making sense. ;) :P

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SasuSaku may be canon, but you won't find it in my fics unless I had a specific idea for it. As a general rule, my head canon is that Sakura ends up with either Gaara or Kakashi, unless I've AU'ed it, then others like ItaSaku or MadaSaku get involved.

Not that I'm saying I don't like SasuSaku, I do... Just not for canon.

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The two main reasons (because there are a few others, but these are the main ones) that I'm NEVER gonna watch Boruto? SasuSaku, and Anko got fat. :( :'(.

Also, I won't watch the Legend of Korra, since I'm a die-hard Zutara shipper.

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I know SasuNaru fans live for that moment at the start where Naruto and Sasuke locked lips, but I always pause that part so I can laugh at them. ;)

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I hate it when I find a story, forget to fave or follow, then lose the fricking thing!

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I found a story with such a good plot line, well written, with a heck of a lot of potential. But then it was ruined for me when a yaoi pairing I don't ship was put in. I don't begrudge them their preferences, but proper warnings should be put up, because for one thing, it wasn't labelled a Romance, and there also weren't any warnings until the chapter itself. I loved that story otherwise, and I was so sad that I had to let it go.

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Deleted, discontinued, and put on hiatus a lot of my stories. Sorry. Aaanndd... Just did it again, too.

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Don't PM me and ask me to be friends. I won't reply. I really won't. Seriously.

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Also, to the weirdo who pm'ed me to proposition me... EW! Also, I'm a girl, not a guy!

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ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A DOG NAMED BOOKABOO WHO NEEDED A STORY A DAY, OR HE JUST COULDN'T PLAY.

SO... HE GOT FIRED. :P

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It stinks when you get osteoarthritis before you've even turned 40. :'(

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A little bit about me: I'm an Aussie, I'm female, and my age is no one's business but mine. :P ;) I love cats, don't like dogs. I love all colours, except this horrible blue I once saw, and a horrible green, too. Pink is my favourite, though. I'm unemployed, though I wish otherwise, and unattached, which I prefer. I love 80's & 90's music, and dislike 90% of today's music. I love sci-fi and fantasy, and love a good comedy. I shamelessly love the kiddie programs from my youth, and on the best of days, refuse to act my age. ;)

When people try to guess my age they're generally off by a decade or so. In the good direction. ;)

I'm childish, loud, opinionated, lazy, and share too much, resulting in either embarrassing situations, or arguments. A bit shy at first when meeting new people, I quickly get over it and annoy people enough that they either hate me or like me. ;) I'm the least prejudiced person I know, because I don't care about anyone's skin colour, religion, or such, just how they treat people and animals. I've lived in ten different houses in the last twenty-plus years.

Right now, I live five minutes from the beach in one direction, and about forty in the other. By car, that is.

I love gaming, my favourite is the Legend of Zelda series. I have eight consoles and two hand helds, and only two of those aren't Nintendo. (PS2 & PS3) I hate playing games on PC with a mouse, I'll choose a controller any day. ;) I've got very little in the way of musical talent, can't draw, but I love to colour in, these new adult colouring in books are awesome. :)

I love anime, though I admit that I haven't really watched anything that's new. Mostly I love Naruto, Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Neon Genesis, and some others. I have a ton of books, a couple of sci-fi, some cartoon ones (eg, Garfield and Where's Wally) and some teenage drama ones. I live by the creed, 'The book is better than the movie' with few exceptions, like Stardust.

That'll do for now, maybe I'll tell you more later. :)

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There once was a beautiful pink haired kunoichi who became the interest of two hot, sexy clan prodigies. Neji from the Hyuuga, and Itachi from the Uchiha. Problem was, she couldn't decide who she liked best, so she asked her good friend Gaara. Gaara said she should pick him instead, so she did, and ran away to Suna with him. With the Hokage's permission.

The End ;)

(Until Kakashi became Hokage and ordered her back :P.)

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If someone says that a certain pairing is their OTP, then writes stuff that pairs them with others, does that make them a liar?

Rant:

I was just reading a review on a story I follow, and they were such a bitch! They think that just because their one shot got more reviews than the other persons multi chapter story, that they're a better writer! People like that are selfish, stupid, and ought to be banned! Unfortunately, that's not possible, but if it was, I'd nominate them for it in a heart beat!

Writing on here is not an effing competition, and flamers should all be aware, any comments on my stories like that, and you will be blocked! And don't think I wouldn't do it, because I already have! So follow the age old saying, 'If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all', and stay the hell away from my stories!

Things I hate in fanfiction (or simply dislike):

Self inserts and pairing oc's with main or main-ish cannon characters. That doesn't count for things like Skyrim, where one of the points of it is that every dragonborn is different. I mean random filler ones mostly, since I've started liking some OC insert Naruto stories. There's a time and place for OCs.

M-preg. It’s fricking physically impossible, men don’t even have room to grow a fricking foetus without internal damage! Either way, it's impossible.

Slash and yaoi fans degrading straight pairings. For example, I once had a review on a SasuNaru I wrote that basically told me I was disgusting for putting straight stuff in it.

People who ship gay non cannon pairings and try to say it’s cannon, especially if there’s nothing to support it. For example, Goku X Vegeta in Dragonball stuff. It’s one thing to have a fun little fluff piece, but then to try and say that the two of them are actually gay, properly in cannon, and bashing Chi-Chi and Bulma, is another.

Also straight versions of the above.

Bashing characters for no good reason. If someone’s bashing a character just because, it annoys the hell out of me. However, if it’s for plot, then I’m cool with it.

Super freaking long author notes. I’ve been known to ramble on in an author note, but when someone’s note is longer or as long as the chapter, that’s a different matter entirely.

People who hold stories hostage for reviews, or who whine about whether or not they’re getting enough reviews. It’s true, I love reviews and would love to have lots. But I’m not going to complain or refuse to update just because I didn’t get enough. Sheesh! If I'm not updating, its because I'm incredibly busy, or my brain has died. :P

On a similar vein, people who have tons and tons of reviews, and complain that they're not getting enough of them. For instance, I learned that an author I like was going on about how they want to get rid of their six chapter story because it wasn't getting enough feedback to satisfy them. But they have over five hundred reviews for those six chapters! There are people out there who get hardly any, or no reviews for their stories, and never complain, so this particular person should be friggin' grateful for all the reviews they get!

People who claim you glorify rape just because you forgot to put a non con warning on. Screw you!

Stories where one of the main pairings is having sex with someone, and the other person on the pairings comes along and sees them, and becomes attracted to them because of it. I don't care if this is something that really happens in life, it ticks me off.

Americanisation. People who put American culture things, like Thanksgiving, into things from countries like Japan, where they don't do that. I get it, you're American, and that's what you know and do, but others don't!

Same goes with other culture stuff for above, really. I once read a Naruto set in England, and it was so thoroughly British, it made my head hurt. The slang was so localised, I couldn't make heads or tails of it.

Huge, giant paragraphs. When stories have paragraphs so large, my eyes sometimes lose track of where I'm reading. I generally avoid stories that do that, which is a shame, because there are some out there with really promising premises, but the layout ruins it all.

What's the point of having a marriage law fic where Sakura (or whatever female is in the used genre) has multiple husbands? Barring twins and whatnot, she'd still only be having one child at a time. More sense, I think, for a guy to have multiple wives. Though I really, really, really, don't condone polygamy.

If you don't use quotation marks, I won't read your story.

Repetitive stories. When someone does the same trope over and over. This is only a mild annoyance, though, and I don't mind if the author is a good one. It's when you get bad or mediocre ones doing it. Personally, I try to think of unique plots to write, or twists on tropes that people don't usually expect.

I wish people would be clear in their summary what the pairing is. I've got the feeling I've missed out on some good stories because I'm not sure of the pairing. I don't want to risk reading one I hate, you know.

I like crack pairings. But I'm not so deluded to think that just because 'I' like them, then they must actually be canon.

I've come to really HATE gender swap stories. Especially swapping Itachi's gender.

More coming as I think of them...