Sakura's feet pattered against her hardwood floors as she walked across her apartment to the small kitchen. It was the middle of the night and she had been fighting to go to sleep for what seemed like hours. She put a tea pot on the stove, hoping maybe some warm soothing tea could lull her to sleep. She shifted from one foot to the other in impatience, making her hips and her now waist length hair sway with the movement.

As she waited for her water to boil, she regretted not grabbing a robe to drape over herself or at least a blanket. The summer was long over now and the black lace night gown that she wore barely reached halfway down her thigh and was not doing much to keep her warm in the chill of her apartment.

She breathed a sigh of relief when her tea was finally ready and reached for a mug from her cabinet. She had only had the mug in her hands for two seconds before she sensed a chakra presence at her living room window. She almost dropped the mug in surprise, but caught herself realizing who it was. Discarding the mug on the counter, she sprinted over to the window confused with an instant worry starting in her heart.

She pulled the window open to see Kakashi breathing heavily on the other side. His eyes were half lidded as he looked down at her and he attempted a weak smile. She opened her mouth to ask what the hell he was doing at her window nearing two in the morning, when the smell hit her and her eyes fell to his chest. His flask jacket was stained red and there was a long gash across his torso. She gasped, feeling her chest clench painfully at the sight, and immediately pulled him inside.

Even though his feet had landed on the floor, he still slumped against her with an arm slung over her shoulders. Summoning enough chakra to support his weight, she easily carried him to her bedroom and laid him down on the bed. She didn't say a word as she stripped him of his jacket and shirt. She saw his face twist in pain and she winced sympathetically as she tugged the fabric away from the wound. The wound was a lot worse than she had initially thought.

"Idiot," she hissed as she hurried to the other side of the room to grab her med kit, "Why didn't you go to the hospital!?"

She was back beside him and cleaning the wound to ward off infection in a second. She hovered her hands over the wound, stitching the flesh back together with her chakra. His skin was cold underneath her touch and it was obvious Kakashi had lost a lot of blood. She felt a lump rise in her throat, but she fought it down, choosing anger over fear. She looked over at him as her chakra healed him like she had done a thousand times before. Over the years it had become second nature to her and after the wound had become less life threatening, she could divide her attention elsewhere.

She levelled him with a glare and raised eyebrow, "Well?"

He didn't meet her eyes and continued staring out the small window near the bed. His response was quiet and calm, "I hate hospitals. You know that."

She huffed in annoyance and checked her work, making sure the wound was completely gone. Her eyes scanned his body for more wounds and she scolded him, "You could have died, Kakashi."

"That's why I came here," he replied, then looked at her with a smile behind his mask, "You always take care of me."

Sakura bit the inside of her cheek, hoping she didn't blush under his gaze. Finding a small slash on his shoulder, she moved to heal it sitting down on the edge of the bed. She glanced at him as she leaned over him. There was a deep rooted fear that was grasping her heart painfully in her chest and she didn't know what to do to relieve it. Her green eyes were filled with worry as she met his cool ones, "What if I hadn't been home?"

Kakashi shrugged and then tried to hide the wince in his expression from the movement. He looked away from her and back to the window. Sakura vaguely registered that it had started raining and the drops were hitting the glass in a gentle rhythm. "Then, I would have gone to the hospital."

Sakura's voice was quiet as she shook her head, her eyes fixed on his now woundless shoulder, "You wouldn't have made it."

Kakashi didn't reply to her and she clenched her jaw. This wasn't the first time he had done this. Come to her apartment after a mission, knowing she'd heal him back to full health. But this was the first time it had been for such a fatal wound, usually if it was bad enough he would go to the hospital he claimed to hate so much. Why he had chosen tonight to come to her instead she had no idea. He usually only came for minor wounds and never in the middle of the night.

It had been years since the end of the Fourth Shinobi War and she was nearing twenty-three. Her and Kakashi had become very good friends over the years. She had long dropped the sensei honorific and had reached jounin status. They hadn't been teacher and student for a long time and were now equals, friends. After Tsunade had retired and named Kakashi her successor, Sakura had assisted him as much as she could much like Shizune had done for Tsunade. They had spent a majority of their time together in turn and had continued to even after Kakashi had passed the Hokage robes onto the all too willing Naruto. Most days they had lunch together and could often be found lounging around in Sakura's apartment if they happened to have days off at the same time. They were almost inseparable.

Since the war, Kakashi had changed and for the better. He was less reclusive and didn't avoid his friends like he used to. He was more open, or at least tried to be and in Sakura's opinion that was all that mattered. He told her about his past and things that he had kept to himself for years. She had learned more about him in the past few years than she had ever did in all the time he was her sensei and then team captain. She vainly liked to think that he was most open and honest with her, that she knew almost all there was to know about Kakashi Hatake. But she was sure there was still some things that he didn't even tell her.

Sakura stood up looking him over and asked, "Do you have any more injuries?"

Kakashi nodded towards his left leg, "My leg was bothering me on my way back."

Sakura ran her hands over the leg, her chakra glowing green from her palms. After a second of searching for the injury, Sakura gasped and looked over at him with wide eyes, "Kakashi! Your leg is clearly broken and in more than one place! How far did you run on this?"

Kakashi watched the rain fall against the window and he answered in that smooth calm voice of his, "It was just a few hours, Sakura. Don't worry so much."

Sakura clenched her jaw again and ripped his pants leg so she could better access the injuries. She tried to hold onto her anger as she healed him, because it was so much easier to deal with than the intense worry that was slowly overtaking her with each injury she found on him. But her anger had slipped away from her and her voice was soft as she asked, "Why, Kakashi? This isn't like you. If you were in this bad of shape, why didn't you go to the hospital? And don't say it's because you hate hospitals, because I have seen you walk in there voluntarily."

She didn't look up at him for his answer as she ran her hands over both his legs looking for any more breaks. She heard him sigh and then answer in a quiet voice, "I wanted to see you."

Sakura's head shot up in surprise and Kakashi met her eyes and she felt trapped in his gaze as he continued, "I've been gone for almost three months, Sakura. The mission was only supposed to be a month at most. And I missed you. I just…I just wanted to see you."

The grip on her heart lessened a little and Sakura's expression softened. She could feel her cheeks growing warm at his admission, but she wasn't much bothered by it, considering she could see a faint pink peeking out of Kakashi's mask. She smiled and grabbed his hand that was resting on the bed, "I missed you, too, Kakashi. But if it's this bad you should always go to the hospital. It terrifies me thinking you could have shown up here almost dying and I could have been out having drinks with Ino or something. Please go to the hospital next time. You can always send someone for me and I'd be there in a heartbeat."

Kakashi returned her smile, "You know I knew you were here. I searched for your chakra signature as soon as I entered the gates."

Sakura just stared at him in response and he finally relented, "Fine, life threatening injuries go straight to the hospital."

Her grin widened and she squeezed his hand, "Good." She glanced over him once more, before letting go of his hand, "Okay, you can take a shower here and I'll find you something to wear."

Kakashi shook his head, sitting up in her bed, "No, that's fine, Sakura. I'll just head over to my place."

"It's pouring outside. Just stay here for the night," she argued, stepping away from him to walk towards her bathroom and start a shower for him.

She heard him sigh and get up from the mattress, "Well, if you insist."

She gave him a smile, walking back into the bedroom, "Hold on. I think I have something that'll fit you."

She left the room and came back a minute later with a bundle of neatly folded clothes. She handed them to him and he looked them over, realizing they were a men's jounin uniform. She saw him stiffen and his shoulders tense. He frowned and looked back up at her, "These are..."

"Naruto's," She finished, holding back a chuckle at his kicked puppy expression, "He must have forgotten them. His washing machine broke, so he's been coming over to do his laundry. I told him to just go to Hinata's, but he said something about being embarrassed about it in front of her father or something. I don't know, but I didn't mind him coming over so I didn't ask."

Kakashi's shoulders relaxed and he let out a breath of relief, "Oh."

She did laugh then and raised an eyebrow at him playfully, "Were you worried about something, Kakashi?"

"What?" He met her eyes surprised and then glanced away scratching the back of his neck bashfully, "No, not at all."

"Uh-huh," she rested a hand on her hip and smirked at him.

He ignored her and walked towards the open bathroom door, "Well, I'm just going to, uh, take that shower." She chuckled as he shut the door and started picking up his bloodied clothing from her floor.

Sakura was finally drinking her well needed tea as she listened to the mixed noise of the shower running and the rain pounding against her windows. The soothing chamomile was doing its best to calm her down, but she was still feeling a little shaken from healing Kakashi. She was his personal medic like she was for all of her close friends and she'd seen him like that before, but there was something different about this time. She'd seen him on the brink of death more than once, especially during the war, with only her chakra holding him together. Though she had never gotten over the fear of literally holding his life together in her fingers, it had never felt this bad before. Maybe it was because all those times she was already in medic mode and was able to distance herself at least somewhat from her personal feelings. Those times were on the battlefield or at the hospital, were she could almost see Kakashi as any other shinobi or patient.

But she hadn't been in medic mode tonight, she had been in the warmth of her own home. And though it was usually easy for her to slip into those metaphoric shoes, tonight it hadn't been. Of course she had been as meticulous and thorough as she had always been with her patients, her medical abilities were natural to slip into and didn't take any thought at all. It was her heart that had been the problem. She hadn't felt so scared like that since the war and his wounds weren't even the worse she had ever seen on him. He'd been through worse and she'd stitched him up through worse before. She liked to tell herself that it was because she'd been caught off guard and that it was the middle of the night in her bedroom and not a medic tent in the middle of a war zone. But she knew that wasn't exactly it.

Truth was that it had gotten harder to see Kakashi as any other patient over the last few years, because he so clearly wasn't. Even from the beginning it was difficult to separate him. He was Kakashi-sensei, the man she had looked up to since she was twelve, who promised to always protect her. The man who had trained her and taught her what it meant to be a shinobi. The man who after passing her over to be Tsunade's apprentice, told her how proud he was of the strong kunoichi she had become.

But it was even worse now. Now he was Kakashi, the man who picked her up from the hospital to have lunch with him. The man who more often than not to her surprise covered the bill with a wave of his hand. The man who had her back on missions and trusted herwith his life. The man who would lounge around on her couch reading his Icha Icha novels and playful nudge her with his feet from where they rested in her lap as she read a book of her own. The man who constantly teased her about her cooking skills, but would gladly eat his plates clean. The man who's hidden smirk would make her melt and her stomach twist in knots.

Kakashi wasn't just anyone, he was Kakashi. And she was pretty sure over the past few years she'd somehow managed to fall in love with him. She had a feeling he felt the same way and was pretty certain of it, but she couldn't help but have little doubts. She wondered if he never pushed things further because he didn't know if he could see past her being the little girl he taught. If the fourteen-year age gap really bothered him. If she just wasn't enough for the great Copy Nin. So, she kept her feelings to herself, her insecurities stopping her from moving anything forward. She just patiently waited, hoping he'd reciprocate her feelings and someday do something about it.

She was smiling into her cup, letting the small hope burn in her chest and orchestrate fantasies in her mind of a silver haired ninja holding her closely at night and waking up in his arms. Then, she heard the shower cut off and a couple minutes later Kakashi walked into her kitchen. Without a shirt and without a mask. She almost dropped the mug in her hands and her jaw dropped a little, but after a second she managed to close it. She met his eyes, trying not to stare openly at his face and bare chest. She'd seen him shirtless before, of course, having been his medic, but there was something different from him being half naked in her kitchen fresh from a shower and from being wounded and laid out on a hospital cot.

He gave her a crooked grin, one that she could now see clearly without his mask. It was as cocky as she had always pictured it. He shrugged at her, "Naruto's shirt was a little tight and I try not to sleep in my mask if I can help it."

She just nodded, not trusting her voice, and took another sip from her mug. She thought back to her days as a genin when Team 7 had theorized what Kakashi was hiding behind his mask. No fish lips. No bucked teeth. Just a small mole near his mouth could be called an imperfection, but she found it more adorable than anything else. It was just like she had guessed, Kakashi's face was as attractive as the rest of him.

Kakashi stepped towards her and gestured to his face, "You don't mind, right? I mean I could put it back on if it makes you uncomfortable –"

"No," she cut him off, probably too quickly according to his playful smirk. She cleared her throat and looked to the tea pot on the stove, "I don't mind and I want you to be comfortable. Do you want some tea?"

He shook his head and backed away from her towards her couch, "I'm pretty exhausted, I think I'll just go to sleep."

She placed her mug on the counter and followed after him, "Kakashi, you don't have to take the couch. I was going to sleep on the couch and let you have the bed."

Kakashi leaned against the back of the couch, crossing his arms over his chest, "I can't let you sleep on the couch, Sakura. Besides what kind of gentleman would I be if I kicked a beautiful woman out of her bed."

Sakura felt butterflies in her stomach at his words and his flirtatious smile that she could now visibly see without his mask. But she fought down her blush, knowing exactly what he was doing and she wasn't going to let him smooth talk her. She narrowed her eyes at him, but couldn't help but smile back, "First off, you are not kicking me out of my bed, I'm giving it to you. And secondly, you just came back from a mission on the verge of death and need a good night's sleep. You're sleeping on the bed. Doctor's orders." Sakura's tone left no room for argument and she met his eyes dead on challenging him to argue with her logic.

Kakashi glanced at her and back towards the couch, where she had already laid out a blanket and a pillow. "We can," he spoke in a smooth voice, "always share the bed?" He looked back at her with his crooked grin and raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Sakura's face flushed and she shook her head, "No, um, I-"

Kakashi stood in front of her and grabbed her hand, "Come on, Sakura. It's a big bed. Plenty of room."

Sakura looked back towards the couch unsure, but was already letting Kakashi lead her back to the bedroom.

Sakura woke with a start and glanced at the clock. It was only four in the morning, definitely not time for her to wake up. She wondered what had woken her up then and looked to her right to find her answer. Kakashi was still asleep, but his face was twisted in anguish and he was shaking his head back and forth in his sleep. She could hear him mumbling something unintelligible under his breath. For a brief second, she wondered if he was still in pain from his mission, but then she realized he was having a nightmare.

Her heart ached in sympathy and she debated waking him up. Then, she heard him breath out, "Sakura." Her eyes widened in surprise and that decided it for her. She reached a hand towards him and gently shook his shoulder, "Kashi."

Before she could blink she was on her back and being pressed into the mattress. Kakashi was looming over her, his knee pressed between her legs and holding a kunai to her throat. Her heartrate picked up, but it was mainly from the shock of suddenly having a blade pressing into her neck. She stared into his eyes and felt her heartrate climb back down to normal. This was Kakashi, he'd never hurt her. She watched the menace in his eyes slowly fade away the longer he stared at her. He steadily came back to his senses and looked away from her to glance around the room before returning back to her.

It was amazing how plainly she could see the emotions play out on his face now. Even in the darkened bedroom with just the moonlight from the window illuminating his face. She saw his defensive instinct slip away into confusion and then realization. He looked down at the blade he was pressing against her and instantly pulled it away throwing it to the floor like the handle in his hand had burned him. He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes and Sakura had never seen him look so guilty and regretful. Her heart broke at his expression and she immediately wanted to reach out to touch him, but she didn't want to startle him.

His eyes were still closed as his forehead fell against hers and a hand came up to twist into her pink hair. "Fuck, Sakura," his breath was shaky as he breathed against her skin, "I'm so sorry."

Deeming it safe, she brought her hand up to cradle his face and stroked her thumb across his cheek soothingly, running over his scar, "It's okay. I shouldn't have tried to wake you up. I should've known I could have scared you into battle mode. I had no idea where your dream had taken you." She felt a rush of guilt wash over her from causing him so much pain, though she hadn't intended to. Basic training had taught her to always wake up a sleeping shinobi with caution, especially if they were having a nightmare. But she hadn't been thinking of that at the time. When she had seen him so disturbed from his sleep, she had just wanted to make it stop, forgetting to be cautious.

He opened his eyes and looked at her in disbelief. He glanced back down at her throat, where a clean line of blood red was across her neck. He closed his eyes again, his eyebrows pulling together and she saw him swallow thickly. She moved one hand and ran her finger across the cut. A second later and the small cut had disappeared. Her hand went to the back of his head, her fingers playing with his hair. "Hey," she told him softly when he didn't open his eyes, "Open your eyes and look at me. I'm fine."

Kakashi obeyed and looked at her throat and then back to her eyes. He didn't say anything for a moment and then tried to move away from her, "I should go."

She held on to him tighter, not letting him move, and shook her head "Kakashi, no, stay."

He gave her an incredulous look and if she didn't know any better she'd think he was angry, but he really looked more scared than anything "Sakura, I-I could've killed you. It's not safe for you to sleep with me"

She continued to run her fingers through his hair comfortingly, playing with the ends. She met his charcoal grey eyes and gave him a soft smile, "But you wouldn't have. I know you'd never hurt me."

His anguished expression didn't falter, but he leaned into the hand that was cupping his cheek, "Sakura, you don't know that, though. I've been in the field all my life. I've seen a lot of bloodshed and have the mental scars to prove it. I can't turn any of that off as much as I'd like to. I can't promise you that I won't hurt you from waking up scared from a nightmare, not knowing where the dream ended and reality began."

She stroked her thumb across his cheek, "Kakashi, I'm not a civilian. I understand and I know all of this. I've been there. Hell, I am there. Don't think that I don't have nightmares, too, that I don't suffer from PTSD. Because I do." Her voice had been soft and comforting, but she made sure to say her next words with a strong and certain voice. She met his eyes and spoke without a doubt in her mind, "But I know that you would never hurt me, no matter what happens. I trust you."

He closed his eyes and moved his hand from her hair to wrap around the one that was cradling his face. "You shouldn't," he told her, barely above a whisper.

"With my life," she added with an unrivaled seriousness and passion. With a spark of confidence, she leaned forward enough to place a small kiss on the corner of his mouth and rested her head back against the pillow.

Kakashi's eyes shot open and he stared down at her. She watched a dozen emotions flash across his face from disbelief to guilt to relief to emotions she couldn't even catch. She knew it couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but it felt as if they were in slow motion as his hand left hers and he wound his arms beneath her. He leaned down close to her only a breath away and it felt like every inch of their bodies were touching each other. He searched her eyes for any doubt and finding none he closed the distance between their lips to meet in an almost bruising kiss. She felt so much from him in that one kiss like he had tried to pour everything he could into it. It was overwhelming, filling her with a warmth she had never felt before. His lips moved against her in slow drug out motions that made her feel lightheaded. But it had only lasted a few seconds and she barely had time to respond before he had pulled away. He trailed kisses down her cheek and neck, until he had buried his head beside hers in the pillow. He pulled her close to him, holding on to her tightly and she leaned into him wholeheartedly.

She wrapped an arm around his torso and continued to play with his hair with the other. He turned his head towards hers and she met his eyes. She hesitantly asked, "Kakashi, what were you dreaming about? I heard you call out for me."

He sighed and paused for a minute before answering, "It was a memory from the day Rin died, but this time…you were in her place."

He glanced away from her and she could practically see the images flash across his eyes. She'd give anything if she could take them away. "But that would never happen," she assured him gently and smiled, "and as you can see, I am perfectly safe in your arms."

He looked back at her and let out a soft chuckle, lightly squeezing her in response, "I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right. I'm always right," she agreed with a playful smirk.

He laughed and moved to where his head laying on her chest. He didn't say anything and she continued to stroke her fingers through his hair. She glanced out the window to see the rain still running down the glass, but it wasn't as loud as it had been when they went to bed. She could see the edge of the moon through her window and it reminded her of when she was younger and would gaze up at the moon when she felt alone. She glanced back down at the silver mop of her laying contently on her chest. She wondered if he ever felt like that, if he stared up at the night sky when he was away from home and felt lonely. If he did, she wondered if he still gazed up at the moon even when he was in Konoha. She hoped not, she didn't want him to ever feel like he was alone.

She spoke in a low and quiet voice in case Kakashi had fallen back asleep, "I have nightmares, too. Nightmares that shake me awake in the middle of the night." She didn't know exactly why she brought it back up, but she hoped sharing with him might make him feel better.

He was quiet for a moment and Sakura wondered if he really had fallen back asleep, but then he asked in a soft voice, "What do you dream about, Sakura?"

She let out a breath, before she answered, "About the war, memories of what happened, what could've happened." She paused, not sure if she wanted to continue, but reminded herself that this was Kakashi and he wouldn't belittle her fears, "And then, sometimes I have nightmares I lose my chakra."

He picked his head up and looked at her with a confused expression, "You lose your chakra?"

She nodded and looked away from his eyes, back to the window, "Yeah, I lose my chakra. But I don't die, though. It's nothing like that. I don't even realize it happens until…We're in battle and someone's dying and they need me but I can't summon my chakra to heal them and…" A shaky breath left her lips and she could feel Kakashi's eyes on her, but she didn't look back to him. She closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat as certain dreams flashed behind her eyes. "And they die, because I couldn't do anything. Because I was weak. Because I…" she trailed off, realizing she was making herself upset when she was supposed to be simply showing Kakashi that she could sympathize with him.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Her voice came out more steady, "It's always someone different. Sai, Ino, Tsunade, Shikamaru, Lee, any of our friends. But usually it's you or Naruto." She finally met his eyes with a sad smile and added, "Those are the worst."

She couldn't read Kakashi's expression when he moved up to kiss her on the lips. He met her eyes after he pulled away and told her, "Sakura, you are not weak. You are the furthest thing from weak that I can imagine. And you shouldn't put that on yourself. Our lives aren't your responsibility."

Sakura played with one of his locks of silver with her fingers and shruged, "Well, I can't change the way that I see it. If one of you were to die and I couldn't have saved you, it would affect me. Even if I wasn't a medic."

Kakashi smiled softly at her, "Okay, I can see what you mean."

She leaned forward enough to kiss him and he kissed her back wholeheartedly. His fingers came up to intertwine into her hair and he tugged gently at one of the strands causing Sakura to gasp into his mouth. He took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, but pulled away seconds later.

He had a hesitant look in his eyes and he asked her, "Sakura…are you sure?"

Sakura smiled at him, knowing what he was talking about and gave him a kiss on the lips. When she pulled away she told him, "Kakashi, I've been in love with you for years. Trust me on this, I'm sure."

Kakashi looked away from her and let out a shaky breath, "I'm not any good for you."

Sakura grabbed his chin and turned his face back towards hers, "I think you're plenty good."

He glanced down at her lips and back to her eyes, "I'm an old man who's past still haunts him. I'm hardened into a soldier. You deserve someone better than that."

She kissed him again, "Kakashi, I know you better than anyone. You don't think I don't know about all of your problems? Because I do and I can handle it."

Kakashi pulled her closer and kissed her. He told her in between kisses, "I'm too old for you."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "You are not that old."

"There's going to be people who see it that way," he warned her, his breath hot against her lips.

She tangled her fingers into his hair and moved to where she was laying on top of him, "I don't care what anyone else thinks but you."

Kakashi pulled slightly away from her and gave her a smile that made her melt. His voice was soft, "I feel the same way," and they didn't say anything else when he leaned forward to kiss her again.

Sakura woke up to find Kakashi's head laying on her chest. He wasn't looking at her and playing with the edge of her gown. She rose and eyebrow, "Shouldn't I be the one to be laying on your chest?"

Kakashi glanced up at her with a cocky grin. He ignored her question and held the lacey fabric between his fingers, "Do you always sleep in such seductive clothing?"

Sakura looked away from him to the window and answered, "No, sometimes I don't sleep in anything at all." After a few seconds, she turned back to him to find him just staring at her and she laughed.

But he quickly snapped back to reality and grabbed her waist, pulling her towards him. She squealed as he pulled her beneath him, "Kakashi!"

He grinned at her, "You know if you keep saying things like that, I may never let you out of this bed."

Sakura kissed him back when he pressed his lips against hers. When he broke the kiss for a breath, she glanced at the clock and groaned. "Kakashi, I have to go to work soon."

But when she tried to wiggle away from him, he held her tightly and kissed her down the neck, "You have a few minutes."

She tried to not give in to the way his lips felt against her skin, "No…I don't."

Kakashi met her eyes, "I think the head medic has the right to come in a little late every once in a while."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "Knowing you, I'll probably be late way more than every once in a while."

Kakashi cocked an eyebrow at her with a smirk, "Now, Sakura, that is quite an offer."

"Oh, shuttup," Sakura playfully hit him in the chest with a blush. Kakashi chuckled and kissed her again, but this time she didn't fight back. It really wouldn't be so bad if she came in late.