Chapter 34: The Year Thursday

Breaking News: Detective Inspector Uchiha Osamu, professional kill-joy and human police-tape, has done more than Tobi and Danzo combined (he made Kiharu stress bake at dawn) ….AKA The Thursday That Lasted A Year

(I recommend rereading Ch33, Lord knows I had to)

Yes, yes, I'm going to be that person.

….twenty minutes earlier:

"Hoshiko-senpai!" I called, plastering a grin on my face and trudging over to the couple. The couple who, having twisted around at the older girl's name, were currently staring in shock at my heavy load.

"Kiharu-chan.." Hoshiko murmured, eyes flicking rapidly between Fuji and my face. "Who-?"

"Oh," I feigned a blasé attitude that was totally not based off Genma. "I'm babysitting again, can you believe it? Anyway, I just wanted to ask you something quickly." I glanced at the bewildered teenage boy beside her, taking in his expression of polite enquiry. "Can we go somewhere quieter?" I shrugged my shoulders as much as I was able to. "My back's starting to cramp so I'd like the chance for a breather?"

Hoshiko, as I'd been depending on, immediately agreed, fluttering her hands around me as her boyfriend, who she addressed as Jun-kun (not Mo, dammit, I hadn't even been close), led us towards the smithy down the side-street not too far away. They must've been headed back there after having lunch or something. Hoshiko was caring and accommodating like that. I almost felt bad for depending on it. Almost.

"Back from a late lunch?" I quirked my head at the older girl, feeling how Fuji rested her cheek against the curve of my skull.

Hoshiko, true to form, blushed a delicate pink, like rose petals. "We were apartment shopping actually. It's so hard to find anywhere that we've been taking our lunch-breaks together to try and figure something out."

My eyebrows flew up my forehead. Whaaaaaat? "Apartment?" I parroted.

But Hoshiko was glowing, shyness temporarily forgotten as we ducked inside the Blacksmith's courtyard and I lowered Fuji to the packed-floor with a silent sigh of relief. "Yep, we're thinking about moving in together! There's some lovely apartments that Jun-kun has heard are going to be vacant soon so we went looking at them and oh, Kiharu-chan, some of them have the cutest allotments!"

I cast my eyes to Jun.

He was a different height from Gin's attacker, broader in the shoulder. And he was very carefully filling up the work-shop teapot.

"Where about's are they?" I asked, feeling a bit unnerved.

"It's a quiet neighborhood, near the Rose Bush Fountain, the one four over-"

I'd walked past that fountain the other day.

That was outside Masaru's house.

"Are they open for viewing now?" I asked, wiggling my fingers by my leg so FuFu would amble back over from sniffing the dirt.

Hoshiko, shepherding us to the only workbench with stools, accepted her cup of tea from Jun with a smile. I took my own gingerly. "No, not yet, but Jun's convinced there'll be a vacancy soon, right?"

"Right," her boyfriend agreed, smiling warmly. It was a very nice smile. Attractive. The kind of boy-next-door, rom-com best friend pick-him-instead smile that had everyone defending their right to a happy ending. All the grandmas probably loved him.

I smiled back robotically, mind spiralling.

What did I even know about Hoshiko?

"Oh!" The other brunette seemed struck by a thought. "What was it you wanted to ask me?"

I blinked intelligently.

"Why you came over?" Hoshiko prompted.

I bit my lip, setting my tea down with a faint clatter of pottery. This table was probably where Jun and his Master took lunch on a busy workday. Hoshiko probably ate here too, in those days she skipped out of the shop with a dazzling smile. Gin always scowled on those days.

Jun started tying on a leather apron. Catching where my eyes were lingering, Hoshiko smiled reassuringly around the rim of her cup. I was not soothed. "Jun-kun is just getting set up again, his boss is due back before half four from a job on a farm. Lame horse, I think. Don't mind him."

Well. I got straight down to it. "Did you," I hesitated, "cut Gin's nails?"

Hoshiko blinked, genuinely surprised. "W-what?"

God but this was going to be a suspicious conversation.

My tongue darted out to wet my lips, even though I knew it would only make the chapping worse. "I noticed her nails were all filed right down, when I visited last. Did you say you'd done it?"

Long lashes blinking rapidly, Hoshiko set down her cup in thought. Fuji leaned heavily against my knee, rubbing her jowls against my legs so hard I thought she would rub right through the fabric.

"Yes? I told you that the morning after, when I did it?"

I hummed low, feigning nonchalance. "Why?" I thought for a moment, before tacking on- "It wasn't really the first thing I thought visiting her, is all."

"Ah," Hoshiko shifted, intriguingly embarrassed before, I blinked to see it, glancing over her shoulder at Jun. When she turned back, she dropped her voice a little lower. "Jun suggested it."

Oh, bugger.

"Her nails were so filthy, I knew she'd hate it if we left them all broken and bloody. Well. I figured...I couldn't do anything else to make her feel better."

"Bloody?" I squawked. Had she...

Oh my Kami, Gin had made the guy bleed. She'd scratched the bastard up like an angered alley cat. And Jun had...had Hoshiko take that evidence away-

"Hoshiko-chan?" The blacksmith's apprentice called from further inside the workshop. "Can you pass me the list of tasks from the office? My hands-" a dull thud, as though something had fallen over.

Hoshiko perked up immediately, hopping off her stool and scurrying across to a door tucked against the back wall. "Give me a minute!"

I watched her disappear around the door, dropping my hand to Fuji's chin and tilting her fuzzy face up to meet mine. "Fu, baby, how about we get out of here, yeah?"

"Leaving so soon?"

Why, why, why must everyone be so fucking dramatic?!

"Jun-san," I didn't look up, or turn around, to face the teen I could feel coming up behind me. Instead, I crouched down even lower and thanked Kami that Fuji seemed to understand that she needed to clamber back on. She was such a good, clever girl. Standing up felt almost impossible. "Fuji needs to get home now, so if you could tell Hoshiko-senpai, I'll be getting on."

"Why do you care so much about that blonde's nails?"

Jun's voice no longer sounded so boy-next-door sweet. He sounded… frustrated. Aggravated, a whole skein of synonyms.

I shrugged, Fuji's claws catching on my shoulders and no doubt leaving light white scratches. "Just curious."

"I saw you with her, hey-" a calloused hand grabbed my bicep when I tried to step away, fingers digging in. "Don't walk away from me. I saw you with her, didn't I?" I didn't answer, lips pressed white, and he shook me slightly. Fuji whined, high and nervous. "Didn't I?"

I wondered what in the fresh fuck I had gotten myself into now.

His fingers dug in, not enough to bruise but the threat was there and my teen brain took over to jabber "I don't know who you're talking about!"

"Her- That woman! The older one-"

My mouth dropped open. Masaru-san?

"Jun-kun?" Hoshiko's confused voice came over from the far corner.

His eyes, which had once appeared like deep pools of warm and friendly coffee, looked like holes in his pinched face. He was going red and my arm was starting to really hurt now and I really didn't want to drop my baby. Casting a desperate look in the direction of his girlfriend, Jun's fingers tightened...before letting go. "You were running through the streets with her earlier. Masaru."

My stomach trembled. Suspecting someone and then being right were two different, horribly different, things. Oh god.

"How...do you know her name?"

Jun's chin trembled like he wanted to cry, holding off from a breakdown by sheer force of will. "What did she tell you?"

And, like randomly spinning a safe lock, the combination of facts clicked into place.

"That she saw you today, outside her place. Guess Hoshiko-senpai was right, you really were confident that a vacancy in the neighbourhood was going to open up. Is that why you did it? Or, tried to?"

"Jun-kun? I can't find the list, are you sure it's in here?"

"Y-" His voice caught. He tried again, eyes not shifting a millimeter from mine. "Yeah, maybe it fell off the hook."

"Listen," he focused back on me, licking his lips. "It's not what you think, I'm not what you think."

I nodded my head slowly, and then faster before suddenly shaking it in negative. This time, when I stepped back, he didn't try to stop me. "Who was it that went for Gin?" A thought. "Did you tell him about me?"

His hands were trembling when he scrubbed his face and I took the chance to step back again. "Hoshiko-chan mentioned how good your eyesight was, how good all your senses were becoming, so when Wazuki said I knew the next mark, I told him to watch out."

He'd been right there. In the hospital with us, my nose bleeding all over the place and Gin unconscious and Hoshiko crying all over him and-

Well, I mentally acknowledged Ryuu-san's theory about a larger organisation at work, at least we were right about them all being connected.

"Can I ask 'why'?"

Slowly, Jun shook his head. Ah.

"I don't suppose you're going to just let me walk out of here, either, are you?"

Honestly, the look of regret on his handsome face just made everything feel even worse.

And then Hoshiko brought a heavy, flame-scarred poker down across his shoulders.

….

When Ensui, followed by a panther and two Uchihas, arrived on the correct floor of the hospital, it was to a flurry of activity.

Fortunately, his boss was a tall man and easily distinguishable over the heads of the healers flitting into and out of Gin's room.

"Senpai!" the Nara called, weaving between the healers and not giving a rat's ass if the others were following. "What's-"

Osamu's head snapped up and around, meeting Ensui halfway and then pulling the younger man closer to the wall and less in the way of the traffic flow. "Gin-san woke up. She's talking."

Ensui's breath caught. "And?"

"She knows the man who attacked her, description matching Dazai-chan's accurately. Apparently, he used to loiter on the street corners near her place of work and has been seen in the company of a coworker's significant other."

His heart picked up speed a little bit. Answers at last. "Was Kiharu-chan here when that happened?"

Osamu-senpai shot him a look. "Yes," he stretched the confirmation out, eyes narrowing carefully. "She left once Gin-san woke up in...considerable...distress. They've sedated her now. Listen, Ensui-san, if you've been discussing a case with a civilian-"

"Not at all, Senpai," Ensui boldfaced lied. "I've actually been trying to piece together her whereabouts on the side." The Chuunin dropped a hand to - miracle of miracles - Hitoshi's flank. "Her Summon became concerned when she left her shift at her workplace and didn't appear either at home, a relative's house or any of the usual places."

A breath.

Osamu stared at him, eye to eye. "Don't ever lie to me again, Ensui."

Ensui felt himself pale, a chill of something unexpected running up his spine. He was so used to looking ahead and being able to deceive-

Osamu maintained that steady gaze, eyes unrelenting. "Even Mikoto-sama cannot break the law and involving underage members of the general public in a closed case is doubly wrong." The older man paused, looking down to adjust his glasses before shifting to grasp one of Ensui's shoulders lightly for a moment. "Make it right and we'll never speak of this again."

Make it right, Ensui gazed blankly at the floor. Make it right.

He felt flat-footed. A Nara called out on a scheme was a...rare...occurance.

He swallowed. "I will."

The older man didn't look convinced but let the issue drop, for the time being at least. "Well. You and Ryuu can come with me now. The blacksmith's apprentice - the coworker's boyfriend, according to Gin-san - works just two streets away from where Gin-san was attacked. Going off of Gin-san's account and what we know of the men's behaviour, they appear to have been working in groups to scout out a victim, get in close, and nab them to a secure location. Maybe even the Smithy itself."

Ensui nodded rapidly, twisting to fall into step when Osamu headed back down the corridor. Ryuu had propped himself against the corner-wall, watching Shisui pace with exactly zero sympathy. "Ryuu-san," Osamu barked as he strode closer. His partner's chin lifted to show he was paying attention. "We've places to be, come on."

"Detective!" and there was Shisui, sliding to a stop in front of his distant cousin with an expression that can only be described as 'kicked'. "Let me come with you!"

Ryuu scoffed.

Why did Ensui have, according to Kiharu, Deja Vu?

The corridor seemed to warp, stretching endlessly, like an inner ear genjutsu gone wrong. Ensui would've staggered under the realisation if his knees hadn't locked.

They'd been here before, done the same thing before.

Did they ever learn?

"No." Osamu didn't even pause, sweeping around his shorter cousin and impatiently gesturing for Ryuu to hurry the fuck up.

Shisui Shunshined in front of them, ignoring the initial yelps and proceeding scowls startled from the staff desk nearby. "I'm a Jounin, I can help-"

Osamu simply walked around him again. "You are so far out of your jurisdiction, you and your little friend, that I could arrest you for obstruction. Don't push it, Shisui-kun."

Ensui didn't quite know what to say. Osamu's long, spidery legs were eating up the corridor, Ryuu hot on his heels, and yet the Nara lingered for a moment. Shisui, so skilled and, dare he say it, favoured, was rarely denied much in the field.

He looked flummoxed.

Ensui clicked his tongue and, unintentionally meeting Hitoshi's eyes, decided that he had to make a choice here. He could enable his friend, get them caught up in a tangle of bullshit and red tape again. Kami knew what the shit Kiharu-chan had gotten herself into by now. That girl could be locked in a room for ten minutes and start a crisis in five.

But.

He was running a case right now. And Mikoto-hime might've pushed and prodded him into picking Kiharu's brains but he really - probably - shouldn't have. She'd been a great help and her misadventures had certainly strung clues together well enough. But.

Ensui was running a bigger game right now. And he was working in an official capacity twice over. This wasn't village antics or Chuunin freelancing. Osamu had made it very clear that he had no problems bringing a pile of bricks down on top of anyone fucking around and if he didn't, the Chief certainly would.

I should have told him 'no' on that roof, Ensui suddenly thought.

"Ensui-" Shisui tried.

Lips pressed together, the officer shook his head. "It's...our job right now, Shisui-kun." Not yours.

Ensui wasn't the kind of idiot to reject help. But...he was learning that there was a time and place. And friendships didn't supercede this shit so easily.

Shisui, for all his sunshine, was a professional and a prodigy. He'd been on missions whilst his year mates scraped knees and played ninja tag. He knew a thing or two about knowing when to back off.

It just hadn't been him doing the backing off in a long time.

Shisui blinked rapidly, thoughts visibly whirring behind dark eyes, and finally nodded once.

Ensui hesitated a step but-

He nodded back and ran after his fellow officers.

…

"Surely, this isn't smart?" I eyed the poker, gaze flicking between the dulled blackened metal and Hoshiko's uncharacteristically stern expression.

On my back, Fuji-chan started nibbling on my ears again.

Jun had fallen to his knees, scarcely catching himself on his hands before he could break something. Like his face. Hoshiko, still levering the poker above him, raised the bar threateningly again even as her mouth twisted, chin dimpling to hold back a sob.

"Is it true?" She demanded.

Jun groaned low in his throat, getting up to his knees before finding a poker waving dangerously close. "'Shiko-ch-"

"Was it true?" she demanded, hands shaking but resolved, voice pitching upwards as she became more and more upset. "Did you spy on us and attack Gin-chan and...and…" here, Hoshiko hitched a sob. Something quiet and devastated ached in my chest. "You said you loved me." She whispered. The poker didn't drop. "We were supposed to move in together, take 'the next step', you said."

Jun looked sallow, throat bobbing painfully as he twisted to stare up at his girlfriend.

Hoshiko stared right back. Her eyes flitted over his features, the twist to her mouth slowly slipping away. But she didn't falter like I half-feared.

Her fingers tightened on the worn metal, heaving it slightly higher as her expression settled. "Was any of it true?"

We were silent for a long moment, even FuFu hushed to a wary stillness on my back. Like any wild animal unable to flee, she'd learned to freeze when witnessing a scene that didn't involve her.

Jun nodded, hands raised to show he wasn't gonna do anything.

Hoshiko nodded and blew a quick breath out her nose. Steeling herself. In the back of my mind, I'd admit to being impressed. "Then why?"

"It's...it's not that simple," Jun started, immediately backtracking at the unimpressed expression on his (Ex?) girlfriend's face. "No, no, Okay, I know how that sounds but- but I'm being serious. Apprentices aren't paid a lot, Okay? And-"

God, why was shit always about fucking money. People did the most fucked up shit because of it, and I knew it was a shit world to live under constant stress and worry - fear - but...to kidnap people?!

Jun tried to stand and Hoshiko levered the poker higher. I took the opportunity to take another two steps backwards.

FuFu broke her silence, chirping in sudden interest and twisting on my back to face the doors. I tripped sideways as my gravitational centre was pulled off kilter, scrabbling at the baby's hindlegs around my waist to reorient the two of us.

"No-" Hoshiko jerked back before Jun's pleading hand could touch hers - or grab the poker. "No. You don't- you don't get to do that."

FuFu mrowled again and something inside me, some awareness, thrummed a second before Hitoshi leapt smoothly into the Forge Yard and slammed into the ground like a particularly soft pelted boulder.

Detective Osamu took the rather more civilised (or, rather, civilianised) route of the door. "Apprentice Jun-san?" Dark eyes immediately latched onto the scene before him, taking in the petite brunette wielding a poker, the muscular young man pleading with her on his knees ...and the errant young Baker giving a tiger hybrid a piggyback. "You're under arrest for aiding and abetting assault and kidnap." Ryuu appeared behind his superior, silently palming his handcuffs and zipping over to click the restraints on Jun's wrists at the small of his back. Detective Osamu continued to reel off the official jargon, Sharingan flaring for a brief second to set a genjutsu. Something, I figured, to stop people from staring.

And, if Jun really was mixed up in a bad crowd, it probably stopped the whole case from blowing open before the officers were ready to nab the rest. If anyone saw Jun being essentially cuffed and stuffed at the Smithy? They'd disappear like smoke in the wind.

"Dazai-chan." Osamu-san greeted me, the faintest hint of sarcasm tainting the professional neutrality. Hoshiko, now poker-less, was being shuffled by Ensui (when did he...nevermind) to follow Jun and Ryuu outside.

"Detective."

"I believe you worried someone, quite a few someone's, with your little stunts today." Hitoshi, still stone silent, seemed to radiate annoyed agreement. FuFu cooed for him and, wordlessly, I crouched to let her go to him. She instantly bumbled over, all oversized paws and endearing eagerness, and Hitoshi didn't waste a second swooping down to grab her scruff. She was too big for a traditional cub carry but I wouldn't put it past Hitoshi to use chakra to do it anyway.

I cringed, standing straight and subconsciously copied my dad when I rubbed a hand over my cheek. "Not...my smartest day."

The Detective peered at me over his glasses. "You know this can't continue."

I nodded grimly. "With Jun in cus-"

Osamu held up a large, pale hand. "Forgive me, Dazai-chan, but that is not what I meant." Ah. Ahh. "As both a child and civilian, I cannot allow you to involve yourself-"

I opened my mouth.

Osamu's eyebrows flattened, expression cooling rapidly from a vaguely concerned adult to ...well, this.

My heart beat a little faster.

This is… just a hint of KI.

I hadn't felt it in a while, civilians didn't know how and shinobi were very careful. But now, I was reminded that Osamu was an incredibly skilled man, probably twice my age, who had been training to be incredibly deadly both physically and mentally since before he struck double digits.

Hitoshi was right there. But I suddenly, abstractly, knew that Osamu could snap my little neck before my panther could kill him.

I served officers every day, desserts and coffee and-

It was hard, sometimes, to think 'hey, these people are murderers'. The Police even more so because they were in-village. Even Shisui and my dad and everyone, I never saw them fight. I only saw them hurt. And what logically I knew they were strong, remembered the impossible moves from the anime, it wasn't an easy pill to knock back.

"-if I find you lurking around my crime scenes or trying to insert yourself again, I'll be forced to file a complaint which may be recorded on your record. Involving your father, yes."

I could feel my lips pull thin, eyes sliding to the floor a little to the side. It was easier to let my gaze rest there.

The subtle KI disappeared so softly, I wondered if I'd imagined it.

"I know you want answers. You are involved in what happened, of course. But you must let us do our job, Dazai-chan. And you're a civilian, it's illegal for you to behave like this. Even Mikoto-sama-"

I jerked. Osamu's eyes gleamed knowingly.

"-cannot get around that. Now, it's time for you to go home."

…

Fugaku-sama swept through the Station like a bank of thunderstorm clouds rolling in from the horizon. Ominous and sure to make a lot of fuss when he got to wherever he was headed.

Which was Interrogation Room 3B.

Ensui, coffee in one hand and file in the other, was waiting for him immediately past the main office hall.

"Report," The Chief barked, accepting both offerings without breaking stride.

Ensui, to his credit, neither faltered or fell behind. "Sho Jun, 24, Blacksmith Apprentice of four years at the Forge on Market-East 2nd. He's currently dating Hoshiko, who apprentices to Yuri-san alongside Gin. According to Hoshiko's account, he has been living at the Forge for a little over a year after his original landlord raised rent in response to economic fluctuations at that time. He wanted to move in and eventually marry Hoshiko-san, but had no means to save. A man he called 'Wazuki' became friendly with him at the local pub and introduced him to his other 'friends'," Ensui flipped the page without pausing. "He did them some errands for extra cash, they commissioned a few pieces that he himself could make - bolts, hammers, the like - and soon Jun became integrated."

Fugaku took a long drag of coffee. "The extent?"

Ensui shrugged a shoulder, scanning the file. "Some breaking and entering, he added orders onto the Forges quota from the miners at market- apparently shit like extra iron that he made into chains for them. He thought they were breeding dogs, or cock fighting, at that point."

Fugaku hummed slightly. "He was well integrated. Has he given a list up yet?"

"Not yet," Ensui huffed, snapping the folder shut and tucking it under his arm. "Apparently, they don't take kindly to snitches."

Fugaku swept into the hidden room attached to 3B, which was visible through the one-way mirror. "They never do." He noted dryly.

…

Seiichi and Inoichi found themselves in the industrial neighbourhoods, warehouses lining the far side of the village, away from the Clan lands or the Naka. Or, really, anywhere considered important by the elite. The industrial estate, as it was, wasn't so much as a workplace as it was a second market. Where stall owners, vendors and merchants congregated within the market square to sell to civilian and shinobi alike, here was the marketplace for the sellers themselves. The lace house was perhaps the most...homely, situated right at the street opening, an open-plan shop floor filled with skilled workers churning out skeins of silk, lace, and other fabrics. Looms dominated the main area, with huge buckets for dying to be found on the second floor. The flat roof was covered in washing lines, drying off the treated fabrics.

Further down the street, the less...furnished... buildings stood. Many were simply large storage houses filled with merchant wares. Potters, metalsmiths, tanners, a building company, a good two dozen businesses. It was understated but vital, a clog in the machine of the economy.

Crouched between the drying sheets on the roof of the fabric shop (the sheets were white, so hopefully okay to get close to), the two men consulted the files between them.

"It's this one," Inoichi trailed a long finger across the page before squinting off down the street. House numbers were large and obvious, to make drop-offs and deliveries as simple as possible. "The miners office," he concluded, zoning in on a long, thin building where the mined materials from Iron Country arrived and were stored. "Are we dealing with a clerk or a merchant?" He mused.

"Iron?" Seiichi frowned. "Why would Inokumo have dealings with anyone headed that way? It's a land of rural mining towns and little else!"

Inoichi heaved a sigh, snapping the notebook closed and tucking it safely away. "Your guess is as good as mine." He paused, glancing up and down the street before consulting his watch. "What time do you think is the last wave of business?"

"Four," Seiichi immediately replied.

The blonde shot him a look, quirking a brow. Seiichi smiled ruefully. "Ki-chan had been in the lace shop and the potters workshop enough to regurgitate all the details to me. I listen more than she probably thinks."

Inoichi huffed a laugh, which swiftly faded as he gazed below them again. "Well, it's three now, so let's just watch."

An hour and a food run (Seiichi dashing over to the okonomiyaki shop a few streets back) later and, tossing their napkins aside, the duo finally spotted their man.

"Medium height," Seiichi immediately started cataloguing, "no training, one knife stashed - probably at the waistband at the small of his back, figures - and no tails. He's paranoid," Seiichi decided. "Bastard should be."

Inoichi nudged him. "Focus. When should we grab him?"

Seiichi slipped his feet underneath him, crouching ready. "I'm the snatcher, you tell me."

The blonde huffed, crouching too. "The alley. We'll slip down into the crowd and intercept him as soon as things become less crowded. I can cast a genjutsu whilst you carry him, the Officers won't question us. A straight shot to T&I from there."

Seiichi had been waiting a good while to get his hands on someone for answers.

They were, the two of them, probably a little too keen, Seiichi mused. Their lead was slung over his shoulder, trussed up like a turkey and glassy-eyed from the genjutsu.

On the roof, a patrolling Uchiha Officer gave them a careful look. "...Evening."

Inoichi quirked his lips. "Just an informant, Officer-san…. At ease."

The officer immediately nodded, letting them pass with curious eyes, and their run was uninterrupted then on to T&I.

When Seiichi, followed by Inoichi, waltzed in with a man over his shoulder, genjutsu dropping as they came through the door, the blonde's secretary didn't so much as look up from her desk.

"I think she hates me," Seiichi mused as Inoichi unlocked his office, striking for a lighthearted tone. He would've shrugged if not for a certain someone.

"Funny," Inoichi flicked on the light and kicked a chair towards Seiichi to dump their guy in, "Kiharu-chan said the same thing."

The brunette snorted, dumping -of-It and locking the door behind him. "She's probably done something to deserve it. I am an innocent."

Inoichi flicked a secondary switch, which essentially served as a "do not disturb" warning outside the door. "When have you ever been?" He perched on the desk and Seiichi made himself comfortable and relaxed by the wall.

The genjutsu dropped.

Their guy blinked a few times, disorientated. He squinted at Inoichi first, sat closer and who's blonde hair was illuminated in the lamplight, before noticing Seiichi.

One second, two seconds.

The uniforms registered and shit got real.

immediately freaked out, shouting "kidnap!" like someone was gonna Kami-damned save him, and rushing to leave his seat.

Seiichi, calm as you please, raised a leg and kicked him back down into it.

"We just wanna talk," Inoichi, who hadn't even twitched, offered with a smile.

"I'm not talking to some fucking shinobi-!" Stupid yelled in his thick Iron Country slur, jaw loose like he didn't know if he wanted to scream or spit at them. He was sweating quite impressively considering how chilly T&I usually kept it.

"He's really stupid, huh?" Seiichi turned to his best friend with a low laugh. "Who insults the 'murderous bastards'?"

Stupid decided to be even stupider and reached for his knife holster at the base of his spine.

Which Seiichi then held up with a tiny grin.

Speaking before things could devolve even more, Inoichi slid a photograph across the desk. "You know him?"

Stupid didn't reply but they didn't really need him to. The way he glanced down, eyes flickering like he couldn't help it, spoke volumes. The lamplight, a small yellow desk lamp tilted just so, highlighted the trenches of his sun-wrinkled skin. Every microexpression, every flicker of emotion… nothing escaped Inoichi's careful teal gaze.

"Why did he talk to you?"

…...

Ensui stared down at his completed report and wondered what the penalty was for drinking on duty. Surely if Ryuu could inhale a dozen cigarettes in one go, a beer couldn't be worse than that nicotine rush.

"Finished?" A low voice interrupted. Ensui had felt him approach, knew that careful stride and the discreet chakra. Hitoshi might be a bastard but if he was bored enough and knew you long enough, even he could willingly part with a few pointers on sensing.

"Senpai," Ensui greeted the older man, offering Jun's file without looking up from his desk. Around them, the flurry of paperwork and murmur of conversation didn't trick the Nara into thinking their conversation wasn't being listened to. Whoever compared Uchihas to volatile cats had obviously never thought that a roost of birds, fluttering papers and clusters of tittering, would be a better comparison. Also that they could swarm you in an instant with razor sharp claws and shrill caws. A pack of crows, then. A murder of crows.

Osamu, more in the know than Ensui could ever be, continued. "A cup of coffee?" He offered. "You're on break."

Ensui actually hadn't been on break but seeing as Osamu had been the one to organise Ensui's breaks, the Nara figured he didn't have a leg to stand on. The clamour around them hadn't even paused but Ensui really didn't want a whisper going around that he wasn't getting on with his boss. Bad enough that there was a literal betting pool on his and Ryuu's fights.

"Sure," he agreed, pushing back from his desk and finally looking up.

Only to blink hard, once, twice, because… yes, that was Osamu-senpai with his hair down.

He didn't… do that, normally.

It was always in a neat little tail at his nape, smooth ebony without a hair out of place unless he was really agitated. But now, it was tucked carefully behind his ears, strands just long enough to brush the sides of his neck. He looked… younger. His age, if Ensui was being honest.

Ensui felt a little jealous, staring at the smooth sheet of hair. His own was considerably more flyaway.

Then again, Ensui was used to standing besides Kiharu and Shisui. Dogs looked smoother than those two.

Thin brows twitched upwards. "Coffee?" Osamu reiterated, tilting his broad shoulders in the direction of the door in invitation.

Ryuu, finally returned from his smoke, caught the offer and immediately drawled, "Oh, cheers, I'll have a-" only to be shut down by their boss without mercy.

"Not you, Ryuu. You need to sit down and do some actual work for once before I start portioning a cut of your pay to Ensui-san for paper duties."

Ryuu's mouth flapped open, eyes skidding from his boss to Ensui where they lit up with the usual unholy rage. "You backstabbing-"

"Hardly," Senpai stepped forward and offered Ryuu's report (Ensui's report) to the younger man. "Your writing is like chicken shit. A blind oba-sama could've called you out." He jabbed a finger into the page. "Rewrite it. You'd be a good officer if you were half as productive here as you are with your smokes. You have til 6."

Ensui's eyes flickered to the main clock, in sync with Ryuu. "It's half fucking five!"

Osamu-senpai was already walking away. Ensui unashamedly scurried after him. "Hurry up then!"

Ryuu threw his desk lamp at the escaping Nara's head. Ensui spun to catch it and launched it right back.

"He'll never shut up now," Ensui pointed out as he caught up, shoulder to shoulder with the older Uchiha. The sun was low but still reflected brightly off of the steps. In the breeze, a few wisps of hair escaped from behind Osamu's ears, which he impatiently tucked away. Ensui almost offered him one of his own hair-grips, his own locks swept half up half down, before thinking better of it. Osamu-senpai was a very discreet man, in everything he did, and his social life was private. This little coffee walk was most definitely not casual.

Rather than addressing the topic as soon as they were free of the Station's ears (and Kami but that little drama was going to be chattered on about for ages and then Mikoto-shisou was going to ask Ensui how coffee was and urgh), Osamu stepped lightly down the steps and towards the local coffee hut, the only place the Officers went that wasn't Nekki's. Oh shit, this was probably about Kiharu and Shisui then. Osamu wouldn't come here out of preference. It was expensive and the coffee was bitter.

Yes, Ryuu liked this place best.

Ensui was kept on tenterhooks as they ordered at the counter and then sat themselves down to chat at a table outside. It was a little too cold for it, the kind of chilliness that nipped, but better here than inside with the too-closely-crammed tables of other customers.

Osamu-senpai sipped his drink, swallowing slowly without a hint of disgust despite the fact they were drinking tar. Ensui had even ordered a half shot latte in the hopes that the milk would ease the burned flavour. He took his own sip and immediately coughed. No such luck.

The effort must've been some kind of signal, however, because Osamu-senpai threaded his long fingers, rested lightly on his crossed legs, and fixed Ensui was a calm stare.

It was alarmingly Mikoto-ish.

Ensui wondered, in a small internal fit of panic, just how closely Osamu was related to his shisou.

"Ensui-san," his boss started, "You've been a credit to yourself and your Clan since you started at the Station."

Ice stabbed through Ensui's chest and only his firm grip on himself, to see where this was going and fucking think, stopped him from yelping 'am I being fired?!'

"However-"

Sorry, Shikaku-oji-sama, the mission failed because Kiharu and Shisui got me fired, isn't that hilarious-

"-you cannot remain idle."

...Ensui took another sip of the milky poison.

Osamu-senpai was in earnest now or, rather, as in earnest as a man of his disposition could be. His eyes flashed behind his glasses and he leaned forward, pushing his case. "You have yet to use the Station Training facilities and after almost a year of service, it's high time you took a more active approach to your physical training."

Ensui was completely blindsided. Had the toxic fumes from the coffee scrambled his brain?

...no, he was Nara, he would've noticed. Maybe Senpai was the one-

Ensui wasn't quite sure what his face was currently doing at the moment but it obviously wasn't compellingly positive because Osamu leaned back and inclined his head immediately. "I don't mean to critique your personal progress or your prioritisation of your Officer Duties over training, but as the only non-Uchiha at the Station, your gestures - or lack thereof - have been… commented upon."

And here Ensui was, having thought they'd just been bitching that Ensui hadn't flashed his Clan Jutsu around the place for them all to gossip about. Damn.

"It's customary for Officers to train with their partners-"

Okay, that crossed a line. "With Ryuu?" Ensui bit out, incredulous.

Osamu-senpai wasn't fazed. "You're both Chuunin level. If," here, he narrowed his gaze meaningfully, "one of you is skilled enough to need a new training partner, I, as a Jounin, would take over."

Ensui sat back and sipped his 'latte'.

He was expected to train with his fellow Officers, no doubt to build trust as well as familiarise themselves with each other's skills and techniques in hostile situations, and he was expected to train with Ryuu.

But Osamu was offering him an out.

Out-grow Ryuu and train with me instead.

Ensui wanted to be a Jounin. He didn't have a distinct specialisation like Tokubetsus did but he needed some kind of promotion to get anywhere upwards in the Station Ranks. Training with Osamu-senpai regularly would help him tremendously. Hell, Osamu could probably sponsor him for the Jounin exams.

"Training facilities?" Ensui quirked his head.

Osamu's lips twitched into a subtle smile. "It's almost clock-off time, let me show you the way."

…

I had never been arrested. I'd never been cuffed and stuffed, I'd never even had a ticket.

Granted, before, I'd died without a license or a car or before really anything too exciting could happen to me, but the principle still stood!

I was a reasonable, responsible, law-abiding citizen.

Walking home, FuFu holding Hitoshi's tail and with me holding onto FuFu's, felt akin to having bail posted for streaking across a football pitch.

This was...a conga line of...Shame.

Hitoshi hadn't spoken to me after the Officers had left, leaving just the three of us in the empty Forge Yard. Well, except to snap that wayward cubs held the tail for guidance so hold onto a tail, cub, unless you want to be carried in my jaws.

The threat felt more like I was being offered a Kill's carry instead of a cub's.

Needless to say, I chose the tail.

The walk was silent, not that FuFu was able to talk by ability or could possibly around the tail in her mouth, but the silence weighed oppressively on my shoulders.

This time, I didn't think a deer haunch from the freezer was going to cut it.

...Osamu-san had cut me off at the knees after years of roundabout leniency, like running full tilt at a wall I was used to moving out of the way. Like I was expecting the glass to be an electric shop door, the sliding ones, but it was actually a push.

With the shop filled with customers. Who I all went to school with. And they'd all become billionaire supermodels.

Yes, yes, I was embarrassed.

No, scratch that- I felt humiliated, like a stupid brat called out for being a stupid brat and-

I burst into tears.

Hitoshi's ears twitched.

Great heaving sobs, more inhale than anything, and the boiling pot of pressure and guilt (that I'd been simultaneously ignoring and balancing for years) fell off my head and crashed a bucket of unbearable and unwanted emotion all over me.

God, why couldn't this have happened home alone in the shower.

I didn't even have it in me to laugh at the loss of poetic cinema, bawling my goddamned heart out into a baby hybrid's tail in the middle of the (thankfully empty) street.

I wasn't sure if I was grateful or resentful that, rather than stopping or talking or doing anything, Hitoshi continued homewards and let me cry.

And, god, did I cry.

Part of me, the small (big) prideful (adult brain) part of me, didn't even know why. Was it the fucked up stress of the past few weeks finally catching up to me? If so, I would argue that I'd had plenty of breakdowns already.

A small voice whispered that I was crying in relief. That I could back off from the danger and mystery and secrets without guilt or pressure of my before knowledge because I was being stopped by others. The law, whatever.

I immediately crushed that intrusive thought like an ant under heel.

Why should I stop? I had this knowledge but I couldn't bare to allow people to suffer when I could help.

That was the issue though, wasn't it? I'd refused to get involved with it all and then I'd renegaded too late.

Huh. Who knew that single digits was 'too late'.

I couldn't regret that though, as much as I couldn't stand to be idle. My hands were…technically bloodless.

They always would be if I had my way.

Hitoshi, still silent, slunk through our gate and down the path, before standing back to allow me, eyes swollen and flushed red, to unlock the door.

As soon as the door was open, FuFu trotted through, B-lining for the nest of blankets she'd made her own by the living room fire.

Left with Hitoshi in the entrance way, I let the door slam behind us. The tip of his tail twitched.

"I'm sorry," I swallowed thickly.

And then it all just.. came out.

"I'm sorry I'm so stupid and reckless and impulsive and selfish." My eyes throbbed and I pressed my knuckles, cool against my swollen lids, to the wet skin beneath my lower lashes. "I just… I get so caught up in knowing and- and-" my chin wobbled as I felt my throat clamp shut again. "- I just want to be helpful and I know things and what good am I if I just sit there-"

Warm velvet bumped against my ribs, the panther's head pressing firmly up my breastbone and then down again towards my navel. My mouth snapped shut.

"You are a cub, a stupid cub, but you have a long life with which to learn."

"...everyone else is growing up-"

Hitoshi pushed me a little harder, halting my words even as I dropped the fists from my face to bury sticky fingers in the plush fur around his jaw. "They are soldiers. They have surrendered themselves to lives of service. You have not."

I bit my lip.

That logic… it was sound but it didn't sit with me. Shisui was my age but he'd seen so much, done so much, had a reputation and clearance-

Sensing my hesitation, Hitoshi continued, emerald eyes boring into mine. "Unless you've changed your mind-"

I immediately shook my head.

"-This is something you must accept." He stared at me, relentless. "You must. You were let off lightly because the Detective is Mikoto's godson-"

Uh, excuse me, back up - what?

"- but you will be arrested or even taken to T&I as a suspicious subject if you do not desist."

"I'm sorry," I murmured, feeling faint, "is everyone related?"

Hitoshi paused, sidetracked. "They're both Uchiha."

"It's a very large Clan!" I squeaked.

The doorbell rang and I lept six feet in the air. "Kami-fuck!" I clutched my heart, taking the opportunity to slide back from Hitoshi and fumble for the doorhandle.

"Kiharu-chan!" Shisui scrambled towards me as soon as I opened the door enough. "Where were you- Ensui and Hitoshi - and the roof and-"

I tripped on Hitoshi's foreleg, who had not moved, and rolled backwards down the hall.

That's it.

This was the worst day.

I was covered in tears and snot, probably cat saliva all over my hair, I'd been warned by the police, ran like a lunatic across town, and now-

I'd decided to just stay on the floor when Shisui's worried face appeared above me. His eyebrows were pulled in, puckering the skin between. He was so pretty and I immediately felt even more swollen and disgusting. "Are you okay?"

I contemplated pretending I couldn't hear the question but discarded the idea. Shisui was too persistent. "Fine," I croaked.

Shisui paused, obviously expecting me to continue.

Hitoshi walked past us, stepping over me in the process.

"...You were really worried, weren't you?"

"Of course I was!" Shisui gawked at me. "I heard you'd freaked out and were running around the hospital!"

"Ah," I grimaced, "I… lost my head."

"She won't be doing that again," Hitoshi intoned from the stairs.

I glanced away, bitterness curling my mouth. I got my elbows underneath me and pushed until I was sitting. "No," I admitted quietly, "I won't be."

Shisui paused, hesitating, no doubt recognising a shift in the atmosphere. Then, with a strange deliberateness, he offered me a hand. My lips quirked helplessly and I took it. Shisui heaved me up. "Are you-" he glanced at Hitoshi. "Are you okay?"

I shrugged, just a clumsy twitch of my shoulders, and gestured for the older boy to follow me into the kitchen where I picked up the kettle. "I," I paused, not sure how to proceed. I was fine? But I wasn't. But Shisui didn't need to know that and I couldn't really elaborate.

"She will be," Hitoshi vowed.

"Did something happen?" Shisui perched himself on a stool by the island.

I pulled two cups from the drying rack and snorted softly, hardly audible over the low rumble of the kettle. "A reality check."

Shisui smiled a little hesitantly. Recently, we were tiptoeing like we hadn't since we first met. "Ah, me too," he admitted, drumming his fingers on the tabletop. A pause before he seemingly came to a decision. "I…" he paused, as though coming to a slow realisation," I think I almost got arrested."

I whirled around, sandals slipping on polished tiles and eyes flaring wide. "What-?"

"Agh, I know," he griped, pressing his mouth flat, dimples carving grooves into his still-rounded cheeks. "I tried to shoulder in on Ensui's case and was very firmly put back in line by Detective Osamu."

My jaw dropped and, ignoring the click of the kettle, my hand rose to cover my mouth in disbelief. I was genuinely flabbergasted. "Me too!"

Shisui blinked, lifting his chin from the cradle of his palm. "What? Seriously?"

Nodding rapidly, my mind whirled. "Seriously, I was at the blacksmith's and was told, on no uncertain terms, that I'd get a mark on my record next time I was caught snooping!"

Shisui stared at me a moment longer before dropping his head onto the table and laughing helplessly. "Oh Kami, I was almost court martialed - imagine the two of us listed on record, oh god-"

Oh, we were ridiculous. I snickered, hands still plastered to my mouth, and leaned back into the countertop.

"I don't see the humour," Hitoshi grouched out of sight, his voice easily echoing down the hall as he eavesdropped on our clucking.

"We were almost on the register for being busybodies," I gasped, just a tad bit hysterical because what the fuck. "I'm sorry, Shisui-kun," I finally wheezed, holding onto the counter for support whilst the teen across from me had all but plastered himself across my tabletop. At my words, he glanced upward, incredulous laughter still etched over his face.

"What?" He asked, helpless.

"I'm sorry," I tried again, sighing and forcing the weird giggles from my racing blood. "I'm sorry I wasn't open with you and we fought and I do these crazy things…"

Shisui's face gently fell as the room's humour sobered, straightening up before rising from his chair and edging closer. He didn't grab my hand or even hug me, just propped himself against the counter. Shoulders hunched to his ears, and looking both apologetic and shamefaced, he'd never looked so much like a normal fifteen-year-old. And.

And it just kinda struck me again. Me, the little lunatic running around like a spy whilst being a Baker and Shisui-

And, and Shisui-

We were just kids and this time the thought wasn't in the midst of some horror. I'd done some stupid things but I was just- I was just thirteen.

I didn't think like I was twenty or even, what? Thirty-three? I could barely remember what it felt like to be that old, like trying to remember the exact misery of a winter cold when you were fit as a fiddle.

Fingers, warm and a little clammy, brushed over mine and I peeked over. Shisui was looking down, biting his lip a little. "I'm sorry I… I raised you on this pedestal and I thought you could- well, fix anything?" Shisui sighed, running his free hand through those messy ringlets with obvious discomfort. "You're my friend and I shouldn't put that pressure on you."

I tried for a smile and found a little one more easily than I thought. "No more crazy?" I offered.

Shisui smiled back, flashing his teeth. "No crazy," he agreed, finally curling his fingers over mine and lifting our hands in a weird not-handshake.

I couldn't hold back the giggle that tickled my throat, twisting to thread my digits through his and squeezing, gratefulness blooming in my chest. I swung our hands, a little irked somewhere inside by the height difference that had his elbow bent and my arm straight. "Best friends?" I asked, just… just to be sure.

Shisui raised our hands, pressing the back of mine to his chest. About where his heart was. This boy… "Best friends." He declared with a firm nod.

That night, after a dinner peeking over at an unusually shy Shisui, I stared at the ceiling and wondered what I was doing with my life.

…...

Seiichi came home at midnight, tired to his bones but his mind crackling like a loose electrical wire. Sleep wouldn't come easily tonight, that was for sure.

The house was silent, as it always was at this time, because Kiharu rose with the sun and therefore was forced to retire with it too.

He came in through the back door, reset the ward system and crept up the stairs. He stopped on the landing, listening carefully to the breathing of three sleepers before soundlessly ghosting towards his daughter's room.

Kiharu's door opened without a creak and Seiichi's excellent eyes didn't require any light to make out the scene before him.

His daughter, his precious gem, was spread across the bed, drooling into Hitoshi's fur. Across her feet - which she'd surely suffer for in the morning - lay Fuji-chan, small kitten snores buzzing with every exhale.

The tracker leaned against the doorway for a long moment, smelling Kiharu's conditioner, the edge of pastry she could never quite wash away, the tang of cat fur and the vase of roses neatly positioned on the windowsill. Luxuriating in the safety.

The man, the illusive Soko from Inokumo's hidden page, had been a merchant dealer. He, to read between the lines, smuggled goods through his daylight businesses of carting materials. He'd been taking crates towards Rice Country and Rain for a good ten or so years, pretty regular. No, he didn't know what they were other than they were bolted shut and heavy and, after a while on the road, smelled.

Inokumo had tracked him down, waving around some picture of a little redhead - Seiichi closed his eyes when they prickled, clamping down on his emotions ruthlessly - and demanding Soko keep an eye out.

Kiharu snuffled in her sleep, scrubbing her face into the fur between Hitoshi's shoulderblades.

They'd tagged Soko's fingerprints and let him go, for now.

Tomorrow, they needed to find the other names listed. Hyousuke. Jun. Wazuki.

Inokumo was leading them on a fucking crackpot scramble. And they couldn't just let it go.

…...

The next morning was Friday. The Friday, the day Hana-chan graduated from the academy and became a professional murderer.

I cut that thought short. Now I was just being petty.

However, it really had felt like a million years ago that I'd planned a pile of caramel cupcakes for Hana's much anticipated promotion to Genin.

I was up at the crack of dawn, ignoring how my slippers echoed in the empty house and how the sky was bruised lavender as the sun thought about rising over the valley. Dad wasn't home, I didn't even know if he'd been home, and Hitoshi had left sometime in the night as well. FuFu was also missing, so I assumed he'd taken her to Mama Tiger, who was probably making breakfast.

Slipping down the stairs, I huffed a laugh at the thought, little humour in the weak sound. I'd never know anyway.

I padded into the kitchen, only flicking on the oven light and the low, more amber-toned lamps running underneath the cupboards to illuminate the work bench.

Eggs from the fridge, flour from the tin, scales from the windowsill.

My hands moved on autopilot, turning on the oven and prepping the cupcake trays.

Today I was going to pretend that yesterday….never happened.

Haha.

I slammed the trays down with more force than necessary, the metal clanging loudly, and braced myself against an irrational burst of anger. Frustration?

How was I supposed to live? Without knowing anything, with the uncertainty?

I didn't even have the defence of knowing canon events now. And-and anyway, a bloody Police case was completely foreign territory from claiming to know the Series Plot! Danzo was gone, surely I should be able to sign it off as a good job?

But I hadn't.

I'd insisted on being so… so involved.

And Ensui was right, Osamu was right, my dad was right.

I had no business trying to know everything.

I laughed again, odd and plastic. God, I was losing it.

By now, well over a decade here, I should've come to terms with how shit was done, right? I'd rejected the most obvious route to being informed, that of working my way through the ninja ranks.

My dad and Hitoshi had proven indulgent of my need to be kept in the loop and maybe that had encouraged me. Had encouraged this...bad habit.

I was so used to knowing how things went, in a life with no real danger and filled with fictional books, films, plays and fanfictions…

I beat the sugar and butter with more force than necessary, fuelling all my frustrations into the motion whilst my eyes remained stubbornly dry. The bow rim dug into my chest, my fingers clamped tight with pink knuckles and white nails, and finally, my shoulder yelped in protest and I was forced to slow, dropping the spoon into the batter and abandoning the bowl on the side.

I staggered back a step, then another, and crouched, head between my knees in my dark, dark kitchen.

The tears overflowed, chest overwhelmed with emotion and how stupid I'd been.

Well. Progress wasn't linear. And neither were breakdowns.

How stupid that it was this, and not when Tobi attacked or the fires started or when I saved Gin? Just a chat with an Officer, an Officer I respected but didn't know and couldn't talk to like I was so used to, and here I was.

I threw hands with Tobi, with Sarutobi, with anyone but a Detective tells me to butt out or get tossed out? That gets through?

It was bullshit, this entire thing was bullshit. Fuck Konoha, fuck the Narutoverse.

I breathed harshly.

Things couldn't go on like this, could they?

I'd made my choice long ago and it wasn't something I could regret. To kill someone, a mercenary if not for the headband, wasn't worth the price of information or high clearance. Not to me.

I heaved a gulp of air and stared at the barely visible tiles beneath my knees.

I didn't have another option. I couldn't come out with the reason for this - this guilt complex, this crushing responsibility I felt pressing down on me when anything so much as stirred. I couldn't so easily share my information, and the blow-up with Danzo had been less than a year ago; trying anything would see me locked into a cell for sure, and then what good would I be? Osamu had threatened me with a report and a mark on my record, which wasn't too far off from being labelled an untrustworthy person.

And, oh god- by running around with Ensui and trying my own poorly executed Sherlock Holmes adventures, I'd maybe even hinted at a lack of faith in the Police Force.

But Mikoto-hime-

She'd insisted that Ensui tell me, so sure I could help. But-

She'd never actually told you to go sleuthing, a traitorous part of me pointed out. She just didn't want you going mad with questions. Look at Masaru-san, she was almost feral at a hint of the case…

A mournful noise whined low in my throat. I'd taken Fufu into a possibly hostile environment. Hitoshi had told me what Shisui had neglected to, that the older boy had put himself out there because he was worried about me running around all psycho again.

I felt terrible, like I'd humiliated myself at school, only at the cost of real people who mattered and - and-

I wasn't sure what now.

Jun was arrested… did that mean they'd found his gang friends too? Was it just gang activity?

I tipped myself backwards, bum landing on the cold floor with a low thump. The chill immediately seeped through the thin cloth of my pyjamas, my palms where they braced me. "I have to back off, don't I?" I whispered to the silent house.

For a second, I imagined the house wasn't empty.

That kaa-san was in front of me, in her favourite silk dressing gown and her hair pulled into a loose knot at her nape. Skin clear but still so beautiful, even with sleep in her eyes and-

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I don't know if I can be at peace with it, Mama," I whimpered.

Kaa-san would've told me I could be anything I wanted.

I stayed there for a while longer, eyes closed against the memory-half-wish that she was there with me, until my fingers were stiff with cold and dawn had painted the sky pink through the windows.

Then I peeled myself off of the tiles and set to finish the cupcakes before breakfast.

I'd made my choice. It was about damn time I confronted the guilt and lived like I had declared my intention to.

The girl who bakes.

….

A/N- dodges flaming arrows HEY HEY HEY ITS AN UPDATEEEEE

reread previous chapters if you need to because LORD knows it's been a long ass time and I've reworked this piece of shit so many times I don't even know if I'm missing stuff.

Okay. So. I was an extremely fast writer 8000 years ago at the start of this story. I'm talking posting, writing the next chapter, posting the update in like... 14hrs no joke. The chapters of this fic have NOT been staggered, don't let the start date fool you. What happens is that when the story is easy and you write it funny and you take the mick out of yourself writing it, is that it flows like water. From a tap. But the further along you get, the more you have to plan and think and suddenly you're rewriting parts because characters don't quite match up. Or you lose direction. I was held at kunai point for a long time because, ironically enough, I really struggled to write Naruto as a kid reconciling his childhood with his personality. For this chapter? I couldn't wrap my head around my own convoluted plotline. Things are very very tangled right now and, aggravatingly enough, some of you might see right through it all. However, I write a little bit and then I get tired trying to think think think. It's like I'm pushing the water now, it's not running freely. It's like running through a swamp.

Anyway. I got some really lovely comments recently that didn't make me feel that horrible gut-wrenching guilt that most comments do. They made me smile warmly, reminded me of the characters I crafted that I fell in love with, and that I want Kiharu to come out of this arc in a better place. The fic has changed. It was my first ever story, really. The style is different and I cannot bare to reread further back than five chapters from the last update. But I've come really far and I wanna keep going, no matter how long it takes me and Kiharu to get there. So. Here's to chapter 34, a prayer for 35.

Also I started a new Shisui fic over Christmas, give it a read here: s/13458232/1/In-The-Eye-of-The-Beholder

Hope everyone is staying safe and staying responsible.