The next few days passed by both agonizingly slowly and all too quickly for Anakin. The day after Dooku had Fallen, he decided to initiate another 'hide-and-seek' session with his crechemates (he felt the need for more training in and above his lightsaber practice, and being around the other children helped, although he couldn't pinpoint exactly how or why) and had found himself impressed with everyone's improvement. Coira couldn't come as she had Padawan duties and classes, but everyone else seemed to have taken his previous sessions to heart and he found himself using more advanced methods to locate them. It helped to reassure him, knowing that these children were now more likely to survive if everything hit the fan again.

Not that he cared if the Jedi survived or not. Those specific teachings could still die out for all the pity he could give, but the actual people who made up the Order were another matter. If the Jedi teachings had to survive so those good people who lived them could survive... well, so be it. He'd deal with it, even if he couldn't make himself be happy about it.

Then he attended his session with Girth the day before he'd go back to the Senate. He knew the drall was worried about Anakin's state of mind and the session started off with careful, probing questions. How did Anakin feel? How had he been dealing with classes? How had he been dealing with his crechemates? Etc.

The further they went into the session, the more relieved Girth seemed, so Anakin took that as a good sign. Then they got into the meat of the session when Girth asked Anakin why he seemed to hate himself so much. Anakin felt any positivity fade as he looked at the mind-healer.

"I encompass so many things I hate," he said quietly. "So many things I should hate."

He could tell Girth wanted to say something at that, but he didn't, so Anakin continued.

"I betrayed my own people and murdered them – all of them down to the innocent and those I loved the most. Then I took what stemmed from that and used it as a source of power to destroy even more people and more worlds. I am a criminal of the highest order who brought pain to more or less everyone I came in contact with. Is my hatred not justified?"

The drall shrugged. "Justification depends on the society you're in, much like 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts'." Anakin didn't miss the subtle admonition for talking about what he 'should' hate earlier. "In some societies, it's downright wrong to think of taking any life, from the smallest bug to the most intelligent person. In some cultures, it's perfectly fine to murder your parents or siblings for gain. For our intents and purposes, it doesn't really matter whether your hatred is justified; you still feel it, and thus it must be acknowledged and addressed.

"So, as a precursor, here's a question I want you to think about: Would knowing your self-hatred was justified help you to accept it and move on? Or is that justification an excuse to stay in a negative rut?" Girth's question sounded a little pointed, but Anakin could feel that it was also genuine.

He didn't answer. In all honesty, he didn't know if justification helped him move on or not. Owning up to one's mistakes was a good thing, wasn't it? But if that were the case, why did the knowledge just drag him down…? Was Girth right? Probably. He usually was. Didn't mean he wanted to voice it.

Eventually, the mind healer spoke again with a sigh. "Anakin, I think the problem here is that you feel you deserve this hatred."

Anakin's frown deepened. "I do."

"And you don't feel you can ever make up for it?"

"No." He honestly thought that would be painfully obvious.

"So you would hurt yourself and hold yourself back, thus affecting your friends, family, and other colleagues, simply as punishment? Torture yourself for no other reason?"

"Why shouldn't I be punished? It isn't torture. Isn't that how we learn?" And was it just him, or were they talking in circles?

The drall took a deep breath. "I think you're equating punishment with justice."

"How are they different?" He may or may not have actually meant for Girth to answer that question. To him it was another obvious fact.

The mind-healer shook his head again. "Punishment is supposed to be a function of justice: it exists to stop someone from doing something harmful – not always just the offender but anyone who knows of the situation. Correctly used, it is a less-painful intermediary tool so you don't have to suffer more painful, natural consequences to your actions. It is a learning device that protects inexperienced people while upholding a society's structure (their law), of which it cannot function without.

"For example, let's say you steal something from a candy store and don't get caught or punished. That can lead to escalation or retaliation. Let's choose escalation. So you got away with it, and later you steal from a hardware store, and then from a bank, and then from a crime syndicate... and then the item you steal from the crime syndicate ends up being an explosive that kills you. Or we can move over to retaliation as another outcome: the crime syndicate finds out who you are and comes after you and your family. The natural consequences for the larger thefts are much higher, more painful and longer reaching consequences than if you'd simply been caught and punished the first time to learn to not steal."

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "That seems rather simplistic to me."

"It's an example," Girth shrugged. "It's supposed to be simple to illustrate the concept. That being said, do you understand what I'm trying to explain?"

He thought about that for a moment before opening his mouth. "So... if I would have been punished the first time I killed out of anger... or even used the dark side at all... you're saying it would have stopped everything?"

The drall shook his head and re-situated himself. "No, not necessarily, although it might have helped if done properly. If you are punished just for the sake of punishment, it is honestly nothing more than torture, as I said before – which is the core of vengeance, not justice. Those two terms are equated far too often for our society to think of it healthily, but I digress.

"What I want to know is, how holding yourself back and intentionally hating yourself makes you – or even allows you to – learn and grow? Especially if you plan on maintaining that hatred for the rest of your life," Girth said, raising one furry eyebrow pointedly.

Anakin frowned. "I hurt people. I deserve to be hurt because of it. Isn't that the natural consequence you were talking about because I wasn't punished?"

Girth shook his head. "Natural consequences rarely fit the crime. Going back to our example, does someone who stole something deserve to be blown up or watch their entire family die painfully? Does that fit the crime?"

Anakin couldn't hold back a wince. He was sure that Girth hadn't meant to go there, but it still brought up bad memories. He had killed people – entire cities even – for something stolen from the Empire. Often inane things that wouldn't hurt the Empire in the long run. Dealing out punishments that honestly didn't fit the crime had been a regular occurrence for him, the least of which had been Force-choking incompetent officers. Vader had been the Emperor's enforcer. He'd been there to make sure people didn't step out of line by showing extreme force... and maybe he was beginning to see why that was not the best way to go about ruling. If his punishments never fit the crime, how could people understand where the line between 'right' and 'wrong' was? Even if 'right' and 'wrong' were subjective to the society, the law couldn't be followed if it wasn't consistently enforced.

And Girth's message snapped into place. For the first time, he could see why hurting someone out of anger – out of vengeance, as Girth had said – wasn't justice, no matter how satisfying it felt. It ignored the laws – the consistency – and focused mainly on one person wanting to hurt another person simply because they were hurting.

It just perpetuated an ingrained cycle of pain.

Oh.

But, that still didn't mean he deserved forgiveness. Actually, it seemed like more of an argument against it.

"This is me paying for what I did. I stole so many lives, why should I not be paying for it for the rest of mine?"

Girth tipped his head to one side curiously. "Is holding yourself back honestly the best way to pay for their lives? And that doesn't even take into account your unique opportunity to prevent all of that. Does that count for nothing? Do the sins of one life condemn the next?"

"Are you saying I shouldn't hate what I've done?" The mind-healer was always the one going off about 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts'. Normally, Anakin didn't try to trap him in his own words, but he was frustrated that, for the first time in a while, Girth didn't seem to be listening. Or, maybe he just didn't understand and Anakin wanted him to. Needed him to, even. The fact that he'd just realized what Girth had been trying to say just seemed to drive that need home more.

The drall's brows furrowed slightly and his nose twitched in agitation. "Anakin, you can hate the act someone performs without hating the person who performs it."

What? That made no sense. Well, he'd thought he'd had a grasp on what Girth was trying to say. Perhaps not after all.

The mind-healer must have read his expression correctly because he clarified. "Let me ask you this: did your son do everything you wanted him to do?"

Anakin blinked. "No," he said shortly.

"But you loved him anyway?"

The former Sith remained silent as he tried to work through that, but eventually nodded his head because, again, shouldn't that be obvious?

"Why did you love him?" the drall asked.

"He's... family," Anakin replied slowly.

"So?" Girth replied nonchalantly. "I've known parents who despise their children, who only see them as slaves or servants and who abuse them for kicks. Do those parents deserve their children's love?"

Anakin shook his head, his puzzled and wary expression never leaving his face. At least he'd never enjoyed hurting his children, even when he hadn't known they were his, so he was glad he didn't fit into that category. It didn't stop the fact that he'd still hurt them. "I suppose not," he still answered.

"And yet, they were family."

"Then they were traitors." Even the most base sapient – heck, even Jabba to an extent – realized that. The hutt didn't care, per se, but he recognized the importance of family if his efforts to get his son back during the Clone Wars was anything to go by.

"Perhaps," Girth conceded with a nod. "But the point is, your son didn't always do what you wanted, but you could look past that to see the potential he had – the life he was born with. I'm betting you could see the goodness in him, and wanted to encourage it," Girth said with a soft smile.

"It was more like his power, initially," Anakin admitted softly, ashamed. "He was powerful, and I wanted that on my side... but then, I realized he was a link to... her. My wife." He took a deep breath in an attempt to help deal with the pain that always came from mentioning her.

"But from how you talk about him, I'm guessing you started loving him for who he is, and not the connections he had," Girth insisted.

The time-traveler thought about it, seeing where his mind healer was going now and frowning in puzzlement. "Yes. He was so bright and pure and determined... strong and hard-working... I love – loved him very much."

"Why?"

Anakin didn't know what Girth wanted to hear. It was Luke. Could someone not like Luke? Even the Emperor had wanted him.

After several long seconds of contemplation, he let out a sigh. Girth's initial advice, to return to their initial sessions of working on identifying his feelings when he found himself frustrated with something they were discussing or working on, came to mind. He thought he'd gotten better at doing that, but right now, he felt he was failing rather miserably. So he sat back and thought about how he felt about Luke. For the first time in a while, it didn't help. He still couldn't come up with a reason why he loved his son. He just did.

One can love the person without loving their acts. Very well, Girth had illustrated his position rather well, although...

"I'm… not entirely sure how to answer that. I loved my son simply because he was my son. On Tatooine, family is… highly regarded. If you do not treat your family well, you are – as I said before – traitors, truly not worth anything more than being a slavemaster." Well, it was more complicated than that, but still. "Also, I… don't think I can treat everyone like I treated my son." Especially not himself.

"Understandable," the drall conceded with a nod. "But my point is that you loved him no matter what he did. You didn't hate him because of his actions."

True. And honestly, it didn't really make sense for him to feel anything but hatred towards Luke during a time in his life when he hated more or less anything – especially those things that reminded him of his time as a Jedi or anyone who defied him. Yet that spark of Anakin that had somehow remained alive had almost immediately latched onto Luke… and likely would have no matter what.

Girth was right. Luke's actions didn't affect Anakin's love for his son.

Could he learn to do that? Learn to love (or at least not hate) himself despite his reprehensible actions? No, he didn't think he could.

"I… I can't love myself like that," Anakin heard himself protest, still feeling as if the entire notion couldn't sink into his head. He just couldn't. He didn't deserve it. "Monsters don't deserve anything that pure. We don't deserve love, and shouldn't be loved."

Girth's mouth thinned into a line (not an easy feat for a rodent) and seemed to hold back a huff. Well, at least Anakin wasn't the only one who was finding this session difficult.

"Ignoring that we've discussed how you are not a monster before – if only because you're trying to turn your life around – I'd also like to remind you of our discussions on slave mentality vs. freeborn mentality. All sapients – sentients even – are born with certain absolute rights: the right to life, the right to choice and the right to use those to find your happiness. You don't earn your right to live. You also don't earn the right to love or be loved. That is simply a matter of biology."

Anakin blinked. Right, they had spoken of that. And he had tried to change his mind-set, but he still found himself slipping back into it. He wasn't sure if he ever would get out of it completely.

He did have one thing to say about that. "I… don't think love is that simple. Love… is more complicated than most people believe," he concluded. More complicated than simply deciding he could love himself and then doing it.

Wasn't it?

Girth's smile took on a sad tinge to it. He also seemed to be fine with moving onto a deeper discussion of this new topic, so he must have felt his initial point came across. He was probably right, but it would take Anakin a little while to have it sink into his mind – the idea of learning to not hate himself despite what he'd done – learning to accept that he'd paid a price and always would and he didn't have to punish himself more…

It still felt wrong.

He set that to the side for later contemplation and focused on the new path of discussing 'love' in general and defining it.

"I have found," the drall said, "that 'simple' and 'easy' are two separate ideas. They can overlap, but sometimes the simplest things are also the most difficult.

"Love can be a difficult issue in practice, but I have found that it really is simple. It is merely chemicals in the body and neurons firing in the brain. Even when we begin to break it down into other definitions, it tends to be a simple concept. For instance, in my experience, I have observed two types of love: that which revolves around you and that which revolves around another person – or even people. No matter what kind of love one feels towards someone else – platonic, romantic, sibling to sibling, parent to child and visa versa – it can all be broken down into these two categories.

"In the type of love that revolves around you, it's all about how the other person involved helps you be better or make your life easier. In the type of love that revolves around others, it's all about lifting them up and encouraging them to be the best they can be. The relationships that tend to work the best seem to have a fairly equal amount of both types of love.

"To an extent this applies to yourself. And this might be where some find it complicated, but it isn't a terribly involved concept. You need to love yourself as much as you love others, because otherwise that lack of love – or even hatred – gets in the way of your ability to love, or in some cases, even function."

There was truth to that, even if Anakin didn't want to admit it. Hadn't he just been thinking about how hatred – how the dark side – had gotten in the way of his ability to love. And he should have known Girth would find a way to tie it into the point he was trying to make.

"But each type of love can turn into something else. Feelings and emotions constantly change and reshape themselves, growing or diminishing.

"That actually brings up something else I'd like to discuss, if you'll allow me."

Anakin was already feeling like he'd be doing a lot of contemplating later, but he still nodded. He might actually appreciate the different topic. Although, knowing Girth, it would still likely be something mind-boggling.

"You've spoken of your relationships before, and you've spoken of those you love. Now, appreciating someone for helping you become a better person is essential, but if it gets to a point where all you do is focus on how they make you feel or how the hole they leave behind will affect you once they're gone, there's something wrong."

Anakin hoped he didn't pale too much. He'd spoken of his wife before and knew that Girth had wanted to bring her up, but had avoided the subject up until now. It wasn't something he found easy to discuss in depth. He'd loved her so much (still did), but while he hoped he had been good for her, even he had to admit that his focus had almost always been about what she did for him and how she'd left a gaping hole in his life when she'd gone. Of course he'd wanted what was best for her, but now that he thought about it, especially towards the end, it had only been because he'd wanted what was best for himself. He knew she made him a better person, but the idea of losing her had driven him to killing children...

That couldn't have been healthy.

Had he ever had a healthy relationship with his wife? Is that what Girth meant when he said he'd wanted to discuss it?

"The first step to building this healthier love is getting to know someone. The more you know someone, the more you can understand their potential. Their potential happiness, their potential abilities, their potential accomplishments, and while only time will tell if you've judged correctly, you can hate what the worst people who have hurt you the most have done but still love them. It isn't always easy to separate someone from their actions and appreciate their potential instead, but it is worth it to try."

Anakin thought about those words for several seconds before looking back at his mind-healer.

"That sounds... sad."

Girth grinned. "Glad you're still using those words to describe emotions. Well done, Anakin."

Was it too childish to admit he blushed at the praise? When would he grow out of this... again?

"Why do you say that sounds sad, though?" the mind-healer asked.

"Knowing what someone always could be and seeing them throw that away – because they always would," exhibit A: Anakin Skywalker, "seems... painful. Besides, I know I had potential – everyone told me for as long as I can remember – and I certainly didn't live up to it. You want me to somehow separate that from myself?" Even in his doubt, Anakin couldn't help but appreciate Girth's ability to bring a conversation back to full circle. Was this his round about way of helping Anakin figure out to apply the idea of loving a person without loving the bad they've done?

Girth smiled. "I'd like you to try. You, Anakin, are a person. A person's life – their very being – is an amazing occurrence. The human body is an extreme example of a statistical improbability – nigh unto impossible – and yet, here you are. And that isn't even taking your time-travel into account. The simple fact that trillions of similar life forms exist doesn't detract from how amazing you are or the potential you can reach simply by living. How you can change the world around you consciously and thoughtfully – for good or ill – is a mind-bending gift once you think about it. And that is just the tip of the gravity well when it comes to defining potential.

"Also, something to keep in mind: just because someone doesn't reach their potential initially doesn't mean they never can. That is one of the functions of forgiveness – of others and oneself: to remove blocks to one's potential. Recognizing one's faults is essential for growth, but clinging to them and letting them define you is taking that recognition to an extreme. It creates a block and doesn't allow you to grow. Often, by holding yourself back, you aren't giving the people you may have wronged (others and yourself) true justice. You are letting those terrible deeds influence your life far more than they deserve to.

"Realizing your potential is a great step. Realizing that you're sapient – human and you make mistakes – is a great step. Putting both ideas together is far harder, but you must understand that both are part of you to ever reach your potential."

"You're saying that my potential can still be realized... even now?" It felt like a foreign thought and he had a hard time believing it.

Girth nodded. "Yes, Anakin. That is why I want you to forgive yourself."

Anakin blinked. The mind-healer had just explained why he should… and yet… "I don't deserve forgiveness. This is the least I can do to make amends. Obi-Wan must have known that when he sent me back." That had always seemed right before. That familiar certainty was still there but suddenly seemed… dissonant somehow.

Girth blinked. "Obi-Wan... sent you back." Oh, right, they hadn't discussed that. To the mind-healer's credit, at least he rolled with that metaphorical punch as he shook his head and just moved on. "Could that be because he forgave you? As your son did?"

"My son was an incredible person, the likes of which only come into the universe once in a lifetime, if that." And he was so different from Anakin, far more like his mother.

"So you admire your son?"

The time-traveler blinked again. Girth seemed to take him back like that rather often. "Yes, of course."

"Wouldn't you want to be more like him, then?"

Anakin frowned. "If this is your way of telling me to forgive myself, then no." But he could feel himself questioning whether that was the correct stance to take. It had just felt right for so long…

But that didn't necessarily make it right.

Unaware of Anakin's thoughts, Girth deflated a little. Then he took a deep breath. "Anakin, forgiving yourself doesn't make anything you did right. It just means that you're letting it go – you stop letting it hold you back from being better. It's a promise that you will do your best to not do it again. This is the torture we were talking about. What good does it do the universe if you won't allow yourself to do your best?"

Because, according to Girth, justice for those he'd killed and tortured was becoming the best person he could be – and hopefully preventing it from happening again?

The former Sith felt his eyes widen and he stared at his companion for several seconds trying to wrap his head around the mind-healer's point and his own thoughts. He opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again, feeling a bit like a gaping fish.

Then he looked down, staring at his hands now clenched in his lap. He still couldn't quite accept what Girth was trying to say… mainly for one very large reason: "I'd like to reach my potential, but I cannot forgive myself because I cannot trust myself," he whispered. He had blocks in place. He knew that. Had known it for decades. But they anchored him because he'd seen where he'd gone without them…

"What do you mean?" Girth asked.

Anakin finally glanced up, brow furrowed. "I fail to see how that could be misconstrued."

Girth simply raised one of his furry eyebrows in expectation and concern.

After a few moments, Anakin decided that his pride could take the hit of giving in. "The choices I have made throughout my life have been consistently wrong. How can I trust myself in the future when my record shows that I do not do well with difficult decisions?"

He expected Girth to respond with something like 'everyone has difficult decisions' or some sort of platitude that simply would not work on him at this point. After all, how could one argue with the cold, hard truth?

Instead, the drall raised a paw to his muzzle, tapping it thoughtfully. Finally, he seemed to settle on something. "You rely on other people. That's what a support system is all about."

Anakin just shook his head, remembering his mother dying in his arms. "Support systems are useless. They just leave you when you need them the most." When he'd needed Obi-Wan the most, he'd been sent off to Utapu because duty always came first. When he'd needed Padmé... well, she'd been there, but he hadn't seen it at the time, and honestly, putting that kind of pressure on one's pregnant wife still didn't seem like the best idea. He thought he'd had Palpatine, and what a monumental mistake that had been.

Was it really any wonder he had issues trusting people?

"What about Siri?" Girth asked. Anakin looked down. Could he trust Siri like that? Girth went on. "She's still human, so she probably can't always be there the exact moment you need her, but she has been there for you rather consistently lately."

True. But so had Obi-Wan during the Clone Wars.

Obi-Wan who had come for him so many times... On Mustafar, to kill him.

Or to stop him?

Or to just ask him why?

All of the above?

"And what about Ahsoka?"

Anakin drew himself back to the present and it took a minute to recognize what Girth had said. At that point, he couldn't help his dry expression. "She's five. And even in the future... she left."

Girth's eyebrows rose. "You knew her in the future?"

The former Sith Lord nodded. "She was my padawan."

The mind healer suddenly looked as if he'd realized several things. "I see. So she didn't come back, then?"

Well, she had, kind of, but it hadn't been the same, and then years later, after she realized he wasn't as dead as she'd initially thought she'd tried to come for him. It probably would have been better for everyone if he had been killed off. "Yes, but far too late."

More blinking from the rodent-like creature. "You know, I think it might be a good idea to sit down and just go over your timeline with you from beginning to end."

That almost brought a smile to Anakin's face. "That... might be prudent."

"In any case, you have to be as patient with your support system as you need them to be with you. Sometimes they will fail you, but that doesn't necessarily make them untrustworthy. If you have problems, you need to go to them, be as open as you can and then let them help you."

"But only people I can trust..."

Girth blinked this time. "Well, yes. That is the purpose of a support system."

"What if... someone you think you can trust... you can't?"

Silence.

Then, "Is that what Palpatine did to you?"

Anakin nodded, feeling tired all of a sudden. "He was a confidant. A mentor... a friend. I was so stupid."

"No... you were naive," Girth's voice was gentle. "And he was good at what he did. You know better now."

The former Sith snorted, ignoring the burning in his eyes, forcing it back. "It only took me an entire lifetime and billions of lives."

"At least you got there. Which is more than many people can say," the mind-healer replied. "But you did it. And that is why I don't think you deserve the torment you are putting yourself through."

More silence as Anakin looked up at Girth, who had a very warm smile on his furry face.

"I... don't know if I can ever believe that."

"I never expected you to just be able to let it all go overnight. It'll take time. And that's okay. But I truly believe you will get there."

And he did. The mind healer – for some strange reason Anakin couldn't fathom – actually believed those words. He had such faith that Anakin would heal and become a decently healthy person to be around. It just... didn't compute.

Despite that, he felt a stirring in his chest and found that... he wanted to believe that too. Then, for just the barest moment, he almost could – almost broke through the tiredness and anguish and fear that were his constant companions. Almost.

He was back to feeling raw and worn out again. Was it bad that he seemed to be getting rather used to the feeling?

Girth must have realized he wouldn't get any further with that line of thought because he changed the subject rather abruptly. Or maybe he just noticed the time.

"Now, before we leave today, I want to go over a strategy for your meeting with the Chancellor tomorrow."

All of the warmth inside Anakin fled and he swallowed, looking down.

"Strategy?" he asked, hoping his voice didn't let out his unease.

"Do you know how to outmaneuver a manipulator, Anakin?" Girth asked.

The time-traveler blinked then looked at his healer shrewdly. "You give them exactly what they expect." Qui-gon's words from his last real discussion with the ghost came back. "And you present 'weaknesses' that are not true weaknesses."

The drall nodded, looking impressed. "Exactly. The problem with presenting 'weaknesses', is that they have to be believable. So we need to find something for you that works believably. We need to present him with a slave from Tatooine."

"I... don't think I'll have too much of a problem with that," Anakin said, shifting uncomfortably. That wouldn't have happened as an adult, kark it!

Girth sighed sadly. "No, I suppose you won't."

Anakin felt his brow furrow. "In our last meeting, I passed myself off as a host from a higher scale store... Palpatine likely doesn't know that there are no higher scale stores on Tatooine, but it still isn't... implausible, even if he does find that out."

"You gave yourself a third owner?" Girth seemed to contemplate that. Then he nodded. "Yes, yes I think that will work very nicely. Your former 'slave master' could be a wanted criminal from the inner core worlds, someone who is more used to white-collar crime who was hiding out. He could have taught you to speak so well."

"And then he lost me and my mother betting on the races. That could work." He hadn't quite meant to, but simply adding one more master in there to cover an issue was a good solution that answered a lot of questions he'd find difficult otherwise. "And he could be the master Palpatine reminds me of."

Girth blinked. "What?"

Anakin shrugged, hoping he looked more nonchalant than he felt. This was still uncomfortable to discuss. "It was Master Yoda's idea. He suggested I tell the... Chancellor that he reminds me of a master I had."

The drall rubbed his chin as he nodded at that. "Just enough truth to be able to make things up on the spot, but still cover the holes in our stories. I like it."

The time-traveler did as well.

"If you let him know that you see most men his age in that light, he likely won't even take it personally. Or at least he won't feel singled out.

"As for weaknesses you present that aren't actual weaknesses... what are you comfortable with, Anakin?"

The boy frowned, thinking. "The person who told me to how to manipulate a manipulator suggested racing."

Girth thought about that for only a couple of seconds before shaking his head. "Unless you can come up with a particularly traumatic story, that's a little too mundane. I think the obvious choice is your 'masters' on Tatooine."

Anakin blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Well, you've said yourself that your previous master wasn't terrible and you don't seem to hold a lot of resentment towards him. The 'second' master will be based off of Palpatine himself, and so could easily be someone to draw emotion from while helping you ground yourself in the present as circumstances go simply by reminding you where you are and who you're speaking with. The 'third' master you obviously have terrible memories about, but it was so long ago."

"Isn't that a little... risky, presenting 'Palpatine' himself as a weakness?"

Girth nodded. "Potentially. That would be up to you, but you'll have to present believable emotions to fool Palpatine from what I understand. Besides, he will likely try to put himself apart from the people who have harmed you in the past. Since he will be trying to set himself apart from himself, for all intents and purposes, it could actually be rather... amusing if anything."

Alright, that did sound like it would be amusing. It would almost make going worth it.

"We'll have to come up with a name and a more detailed past for the 'second' master, but I think that's a good basis to work from."

As nervous as Anakin felt about going to meet Palpatine again, having this plan – one that looked like it actually might work – did lessen his tenseness.

"And if you need another 'weakness', why not present your mother as you would have last time. You're separated, alone, missing her, unable to talk to her, etc. We can discuss with Master Yoda about keeping the fact that she's free and that you still speak with her from the Chancellor. Do you... think you would be able to keep that front up?"

Anakin pondered that for several seconds before nodding. He still had issues regarding his mother, so he'd prefer to present the 'masters' as a weakness, but it was always good to have a backup plan, and most things involving her wouldn't be what could set him off.

(He pushed aside the memory of her dying in his arms and of the... slaughter that followed. He'd be staying far away from that line of thought.)

"Other than that, stick to your typical life, and you should be fine."

"What if he asks about the Order?"

Girth thought about that. "Tell him the truth. Just leave out your mind-healing sessions. And remember, last week you ate something that didn't agree with you. That could be a potential 'weakness' too, as he might present it as a fallacy of the temple not protecting their own, or something of the like."

"An unknown allergy?" Anakin asked.

"Not bad," the mind healer nodded, "although it would have to be a recent development for them to have missed it until now. I'll look up some nuts they use in the food here. We'll pick a rarer one and then remove it from your diet."

Which would reinforce the charade. He was feeling better and better about all of this... would wonders never cease?

"And your behavior once you start feeling overwhelmed in his presence will be...?"

Anakin let out a weak smile. "Squeezing the stress ball and a breath mint." The latter would remind him that he could taste now and that he was no longer in that suit – no longer was Vader, no matter how many times he Fell. He was no longer subservient to that man.

The mind-healer nodded, looking pleased. "And you remember the codes?"

"Yes," Anakin said. Then Girth had him go through all of the colors just to make sure.

"Good," the mind-healer nodded, looking pleased. Then took a deep breath. "I'm giving you one last out, Anakin. You don't need to do this." The drall looked at him with his beady eyes full of concern. It made the time-traveler's smile feel that much more real.

"I must insist on it, Healer."

Girth sighed. "Yes, I thought so. Very well. Is there anything else we need to go over?"

"Well, I haven't seen D40 in a while," Anakin said hesitantly. He'd been wondering about that.

"Right," the mind-healer said. "Because things have been a bit different these last couple of times. Would you like to see her today?"

Not really. "No. I don't think she's necessary any longer."

A long pause from the drall. Then, "Yes, I can see that. Very well, I'll discuss it with Master Xio and Master Yoda. Just realize that if you stop using the droid, it will alert the Council. They may see it as an improvement in your mental state and thus want to take you in for questioning. I'm not entirely sure how much longer Xio, Yoda and I can stall."

Oh. Right.

"They want to know about Sidious. And honestly, they have been extremely patient." True. As much as Anakin hated to admit it, even to himself.

"Maybe... We can let them know I've told Master Yoda?" Anakin suggested. That way he could present it, and Anakin wouldn't have to worry about it.

Did that make him a coward? Was he running away?

"Hmm," was all Girth said, not sounding to sure of that himself. Still, he decided not to push it, to Anakin's relief. Instead, he said, "Very well, I'll ask him to come to Master Xio's session next time. But as for today, I can see that you're about done. Come up with a background for your new 'master' after dinner and send it to Master Xio and myself. As for right now, you can go ahead and leave."

"Thank you!" Anakin said as he hurriedly stood and then bowed. He was positive he could get all of his homework, the made-up background for his 'second' master and any chores he was assigned done tonight and head down to the racing circuit. Bleersh would likely be happy to see him. Anakin would be happy to be there.

"Good luck, Anakin," the mind-healer called after him.

"Thanks," Anakin said as he left, although he knew he didn't need luck, just the Force.

xXx

AN: I will tell you this chapter FOUGHT me... I probably discarded a good deal of it at least three times, rewrote parts of it a couple dozen times and it ended up being a monster of a chapter. Not the longest one I've ever posted, but still.

Thank you to Carradee, Quathis and Khalthar for their help with this, as always! You deserve all the praise you get and more!

SO, I did get people saying they'd be interested in a Discord community... so here it is: discord (period) gg (period) ezzFnGJ (without spaces) aka Obi's Den of Geek and Writerings. I want it to be a nice, fun community where we can discuss ideas, geek about things, where I can get more immediate feedback about my stories, etc. SO, head on over if you'd like to join in. :)