Everything felt like a dream or a nightmare, depending on how you looked at it. Sakura didn't know how to look at it. For so long she had wished, cried, and pleaded to get a second chance, to start again, to do things better. Now when she finally has it, she can't help but wonder what was she thinking when she thought she could do this alone. Contraire to what people seemed to believe, she was not Shikamaru, to plan, to think of the outcome even before the second move was made. No, doing that would require logical thinking and a cold judgement, things that have never bode too well with her. She could never restrain her emotions when Team 7 was concerned.

When the pinkette woke up one day as a twelve-year-old she figured she should have trusted more in magic and the like. Sakura knew that she should be happy but the shock was too big and the emotions were far too many for her to keep in check. She couldn't have jumped right back into her old life and though skipping class wasn't one of her brightest ideas, it worked for now.

She couldn't bear to see Sasuke and Naruto, innocent yet silently suffering. She couldn't bear to see Ino, not when she knew her father won't live to see the war end. She couldn't walk the streets and risk meeting up with Team Guy, knowing Neji will die at seventeen. She couldn't face Kakashi-sensei, knowing his deepest regret is alive somewhere, plotting a war and world domination. She couldn't see little Konohamaru, who will witness two of the closest people to him die. She couldn't face The Third Hokage, whose death is near. She refused to see the people who died and their loved ones. For her, they were ghosts. Ghosts of a past that made her cry one too many times.

Sakura knew her parents were worried but that didn't make them any less annoying, even more than how she remembered them to be.

"Are you having boy problems?"

"Are you sick?"

"Do you want us to call for that pretty boy?"

"Had Iruka-san suspended you?"

If there is a God, they will stop eventually.

After a few days of refusing to leave her room and freaking out about the situation she was currently in, Sakura decided that maybe she should stop scaring them, least she'd discover how a mental asylum looks like. That's where her parents would have sent her if she hadn't joined them for breakfast. She half wondered what excuse they had given Iruka-sensei for her constant absence while her other half was busy thinking about the probabilities of this, being a genjutsu.

She got a sore throat after saying 'dispel' so many times.

Unlikely.

"Sakura sweetie, are you giving up becoming a ninja?"

What?

In all honesty, the question shouldn't have surprised her but it did. Until that moment, she had never pictured any other life for herself. How could she? Being a shinobi, a kunoichi was who she was. At the end of the day, even if she had nothing, she knew she would always have that. Now though...now she was starting over. Now, she wasn't Sakura, the apprentice of Senju Tsunade, member of Team 7, hero of The Fourth Great Ninja War, medic-nin.

No, she was Haruno Sakura, with no accomplishments, no titles, no blood on her hands. She could walk another path this time. But would the people she had healed and saved still live? Would Sasuke and Naruto be better off without her? Could she save everybody this time around if only she chose so?

The pink-haired girl looked up from her plate to meet her mother's eyes. She expected to see some hope in there, joy, that her only daughter was finally letting go of that foolish ambition of hers. She was shocked to find none of that. Then, she glanced at her father, seated at the end of the table. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't spot one single glimpse of amusement creasing his face and the bad jokes and teasing never came. So, she answered, in the only way she knew they deserved: truthfully:

"I don't know."

I don't know anything. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to choose. I don't know anything but again, did I ever do?

"That's alright dear. Just know that we will always support you, no matter what you choose to do."

That's what I'm afraid of.

She needed someone to bang her head against a wall if she made the wrong decision, not kiss her feet. With a sigh, Sakura decided that the best course of action would be getting some fresh air after staying indoors for such a long period of time. The medic-nin in her knew it wasn't healthy. Finishing her cereals, she dropped her dirty plate into the sink. She almost made it outside the kitchen and out the front door of their apartment when Mebuki called after her.

"Where are you going Sakura?!"

Right. I had forgotten that at twelve I was supposed to let them know wherever I go.

"I'm going to take a walk!"

She didn't let her mother say anything else, rushing out the door with a speed that was quite pitiful, compared to the one she was used to. The thought of her other abilities being just as weak almost made her cry. Shaking her head, Sakura began her walk around Konoha, silently marvelling at the peace and quiet that lay around and silently praying not to cross paths with anybody familiar.

If spotting Naruto outsmarting several ANBU ninja could be qualified as 'crossing paths.'

One glance at the Hokage Mountain told her everything she needed to know and her heart reached out for him in a way she knew her past self wouldn't have cared to. How could I have been so blind? She scolded herself, curling her hands into fists, her eyes never leaving the sight of a boy with blonde hair and cerulean blue eyes being lectured by a chunin. No, not by any chunin, by Iruka. For some reason, no matter how much Sakura tried to convince herself that she shouldn't interfere, her legs had a mind of their own. Upon approaching the duo and realizing that she didn't even get noticed, Sakura smoothly but loudly enough interjected:

"I could help him, if that's alright."

At the sound of her voice, both stopped yelling at one another. They faced her, astonished.

"Naruto disgraced our sacred Mountain thus I believe cleaning it should be his punishment and his alone but..." Iruka paused, glancing between the two of them. "I suppose I could make an exception..." before Naruto could have thrown himself to his neck, he added in a stern voice: "But only this time. Understand, Naruto?"

The blonde goofball nodded enthusiastically before looking her way. "Thanks Sakura-chan!"

His smile was so sincere and heart-warming that it made something in Sakura snap. There he was, her best friend, her teammate. Innocent, unaware of the atrocities that exist in the world. Naruto, free of any promise that she had once upon a time burdened him with. She wanted so badly to reach out and hug him but knew that would raise some eyebrows. The old her was a brat who thought that he was nothing but a nuisance, a wall between her goal of winning Sasuke's heart. However, she couldn't bring herself to scold Naruto or to hit him like she used to. Not when the memory of him laying pale and not breathing was so vivid in her mind.

"You're welcome. Let's get started, ne? The faster we work, the sooner we will get to finish." she urged him, taking hold of his sleeve as well as dragging him in the direction they were supposed to go. Tsunade had been right when she told her that Team 7 was both a weakness and a strength. All her self-preservation thoughts vanished as soon as she had seen Naruto and now she must flee before Iruka realizes that she should have been in class. When she recognized the sound of steps behind them, she fought the urge to run. Instead, she gripped Naruto's arm even tighter than before, as if his mere presence was enough to stop her from acting like a fool, like a coward. He didn't seem to mind. Not believing her luck, she allowed a curse to slip past her lips, the kind that you wouldn't expect to hear coming from a young lady.

"Did you say something Sakura-chan?"

"Nothing." she replied, a little too quickly.

"If you want us to spend some time alone Sakura-chan, we could always ditch Iruka-sensei."

Sakura didn't know if Naruto got a sniff of her true feelings about the matter or if his crush on her was the thing that pushed him into suggesting that. Either way, she allowed herself to be amused by his antics. He had leaned closer in a poor attempt to create a soundless barrier with his hands and spectacularly failed at whispering. He ended up talking just as loudly as he usually did.

Iruka either got deaf over night or he simply pretended not to hear.

"That'd be rude of us Naruto." Sakura scolded him gently but with a stern look in her eye. It was a tempting offer.

While the pinkette knew Iruka was coming so he'd make sure that they will, indeed, clean the Hokage Mountain, Naruto was convinced that Iruka-sensei was acting as the opposite of...what was that word, wingman? Yeah, that.

Three hours later, the duo was still scuffing at the hard surface of the rocks that portrayed, quite well, the faces of the shadows that have watched over Konoha among the years. Upon glancing at the mountain, she noted with satisfaction that most of the painted damage had been taken care of.

"Sakura, your parents told me that you haven't been feeling well lately. Please let me know when you return."

Not 'should', but 'when' as if the thought of her never doing so was unimaginable. She didn't answer to her former Academy instructor, neither did she make any sound of agreement or disagreement as she continued to scruff some paint off The Yondaime's cheek.

Naruto, who happened to be cleaning some spot not too far away from her at the time, heard Iruka and the silence left by Sakura, where there should have been an affirmative answer, bothered him. "Come on Sakura-chan! The Academy is so boring without you around. Well, it's always boring but with you there, it's not as much. Y'know what I mean?" he explained and in his panic to make sure the pinkette was not going to give up or something stupid like that, he almost fell off the pedestal that allowed him to stand and clean the Hokage faces. Fortunately, he managed to regain his balance just in time.

She let out a breath of relief, annoyed by his clumsiness. She would have scolded him if it weren't for his eyes, blue eyes that were too bright and hopeful, too much resembling the sky. Eyes that, as he got older, made it harder and harder for her to refuse him. How anyone could think of Naruto as the intimidating full of hatred Kyuubi was beyond her.

The answer to her inner turmoil, Sakura realized then, was there all along. She already made a decision, her blond ex-teammate had been there to remind her of it. It was just so like Naruto, to get people on the right path when they have lost their way. To stop her, from giving-up. The old her couldn't have been more wrong. Naruto was not a barrier, a wall, nor a pebble underneath her shoe. No, he was her shield, constantly watching out for her. Always, even when he wasn't aware that he was doing it. He knew that Sakura would have regretted choosing to be a civilian for the rest of her life and he stopped her. There really weren't enough apologizes in the world for the way she had treated him and certainly not enough "thank yous" or rewards for everything he did and risked for her. His life being one too many times among the things that he'd happily throw aside if that meant she was safe.

One of the things that she could give him, was her constant presence. It was so rare to find somebody happy, happy with nothing but your company. She'd grant him that wish and if she made sure to return the favour and be his shield, just like he had been for her, well...

I can't fail him again. Not this time, not again.

"Tomorrow, Iruka-sensei. Tomorrow." she answered and something in the way the chunin was looking at her made Sakura wonder if he knew the real reason behind her absence.

"I'm glad. Now get back to cleaning!" Iruka's strict voice was back, not wavering in the slightest.

Naruto's proud smile from earlier turned into a scowl but he picked up his sponge and continued what he was doing.

Sakura, who followed his example, decided to lighten things up a bit. "We could go eat some ramen afterwards, if you want." she suggested innocently and watched, amazed as his entire face brightened up and formed a smile, a genuinely happy smilethat her stomach twisted in the guilt when thinking of how many times she had berated, insulted, and ignored him.

"Really? You are the best Sakura-chan! This mountain will be cleaned in no time, believe it!" he declared with a newfound vigour that Sakura was sure only Naruto would be capable of having after standing in the sun and heat for three hours, scuffing rocks.

To Iruka's astonishment and to her amusement, the Uzumaki goofball quickly finished cleaning his side and insisted, quite vehemently, that she drops her sponge and lets him do the rest. She would have protested but everything happened with such speed that she could have sworn Naruto became nothing but a flash of orange that her eyes could barely keep up with. So, she dropped her utensils as he had instructed, allowing herself to sit down and rest.

"Baka." she mumbled for old times' sake, frowning when she noticed just how numb her arms had become. Her lack of muscles made her feel ashamed of herself. She will have to start training her body soon.

I can't afford to be weak this time around.