This is my first fic! I understand this isn't exactly a popular pairing, but I ship these two with happiness, so that's what will happen.

The setting suns orange light rested on his shoulders as he sat still at the desk that had held him captive since the early hours of that morning. Early being a relative term, anything before 10am certainly qualified. The masses of paperwork had not disappeared as they ought to have, instead they had shifted and amalgamated into new piles for him to wade through the next day. Unfortunately for Kakashi it appeared as if he would need to put in a few more hours tonight if he wanted to make any substantial dent in the work.

An exasperated sigh escaped him, it wasn't as if anyone was around to hear the grown man openly groan at the idea of doing his own job, so he sulked to the fullness of his ability. Surely even a Hokage was able to indulge in the occasional mope in the privacy of his own office.

Though it was starting to become a very regular and not-so occasional event.

And he had also caught himself indulging, so he called it anyway, in front of Shikamaru and Tenzou. They were yet to comment if they had noticed, which Kakashi was thankful for at least.

The ugly truth of the matter was something he was also trying to ignore, which he thought he could successfully ignore for another three years or so. And if someone happened to probe into the reasons for his demeanour it would certainly open the whole can of worms which he wasn't sure he was ready for.

Opting instead to at least just admitting the truth to himself, in a vague attempt at actually addressing the issue without actually having to do it, Kakashi rested his head on the desk with another mitigating sigh.

After seven years Kakashi was well and truly sick of being Hokage.

He squeezed his eyes shut at the thought.

Immediately he was flooded with memories of old comrades, his former teachers, and his own students. Guilt growing more and more with each of their faces passing before his eyes. It wasn't as if he was ungrateful for the position he held, he would do anything for the village and the people who lived in it, and he had at least attempted to do some good while he held this office. But…

But….

It wasn't as if the job didn't suit him, on the contrary, politics and rebuilding was something he had unknowingly acquired a knack for.

But…

It was not something he had wanted in the first place, but he would certainly honour his friends last words to him. Kakashi just wondered how long he could continue like this, he would surely go for as long as he was needed, but…

He was tired.

That was the absolute truth behind it. Two wars, rebuilding and then rebuilding again, maintaining the fragile and hard fought for peace between villages, so so much death. It had worn him down to the point where he was starting to seek ever more desperate distractions from his own life. It had started with helping Sakura to set up Naruto and Hinata, which was far less interesting than Icha Icha but had still kept him just as enthralled disturbingly.

Then he had started fixing things that weren't even broken to begin with, he just kind of adopted something to improve on it. The standard jonin and chunin uniforms was one thing, then it had been the location and storage of secret scrolls, after that he had helped facilitate the building of a library.

Then it had gotten a little more dangerous. And he'd begun experimenting with his own jutsu.

The handicap he felt at losing Obito's eye still stung a bit. But it was more that he felt keenly the loss of the part of his friend that he had always kept with him, to see the future with together. Like he had never been truly alone at all. Now, with it gone, it was heavier a loss than he would ever admit. It made him feel completely isolated, even though he had come to peace with his friend now on the other side.

It had also made him feel weak, not something he was accustomed to by any means. Which is where the experimenting had started. Naruto had helped, heck even Sasuke had pitched in at one desperate point, eventually he had developed new and dangerous jutsu to add to his arsenal.

It was almost enough to distract him from the loneliness, almost. It was just ironic that now he was the Hokage, and always surrounded by people or Anbu, he had never felt so alone. Or perhaps it had just never bothered him before now. Missions were once a good distraction.

He sighed again.

Oh how he wished for something that would take him out of this office for a while, just a while, a week or two tops. Out of all the offices to be exact. Perhaps something he could use as an excuse to try out some of the more powerful jutsu he'd been working on.

The door slammed shut and he almost startled out of his position, face down on the desk, but there was only one person in Konoha that shut doors with that amount of force.

At least when she was angry.

Resting his head in his palm, with an elbow on the desk, Kakashi decided facing her would be in his best interests if she was in a less than desirable mood. At least this would distract him from his own thoughts for a short while.

"What is it Sakura?"

It had been one less than average day for Sakura. It wasn't that the usual routine had been disrupted at all, it was just there was so so much work still to be done. It was relentless, and that in itself she didn't mind, it is a great thing to be so useful to one's village and …

But…

There were so many other people she wanted to be helping as well. There just never seemed to be enough hours in the day.

By the time the sun had started to set on her twelve hour shift at the hospital, and she'd made the usual rounds to drop the reports at the Hokage tower, Sakura was stuck in a right funk. For the moment she decided to allow herself to wallow in it, get it out of her system before her next shift at least. It didn't bode well to mope around patients with actual health problems so she would settle for this five minute wallow and be done with it.

The whole way to the office of her former sensei Sakura's mind began circling around all the things she wanted to do when she finally found the time. The list was still growing when she finally reached the doors, and that was another issue she realized halfheartedly. Sakura had been filling every minute of her day with something.

Training, teaching, treating patients, you name it. Researching new techniques and making improvements on the current medical tests available. There was always something that could be done, so she didn't stop.

In the brief moments that she did stop, usually before sleep, that was when the issue became prominent and more troubling. In those moments she could see all the others around her, the ones she'd been through school with, through wars with. And they were all starting or had started, families of their own. Moving in their own directions.

This wasn't the issue, Sakura was not naive enough to think they would all be together always, certainly not after all they had been through. But she couldn't escape that awful and all too familiar feeling of being left behind. She needed something to fill this void, to stop her feeling so alone.Something that could keep her fulfilled for long enough that she could put her stupid mind at rest.

That feeling, combined with the almost impulsive need to help, to heal, had caused a plan to form itself. One that would help so many people. One that she would need to get permission to pursue. Her mind so focussed on how to form a logical proposition about it she didn't notice the force she'd used to close the doors behind her.

Sakura watched Kakashi shift from face down on his desk to leaning his head crookedly on one resting palm, elbow on the desk.

"What is it Sakura?"

She held up the reports and moved to put them in the usual spots. Kakashi managed to nod without actually moving his head, simply raising both eyebrows for a moment before closing his eyes.

Well, there was no way he was in any state to hear her out that night. With one look Sakura had determined that although he was still physically in this office, mentally he had clocked out for the day. It didn't need urgent attention anyway, and she hadn't exactly expected him to still be here in any case. But this was an opportunity…

She would need time to prepare.

This was Kakashi after all, she'd need all her facts and figures before he'd take her seriously. If he would ever take her seriously. Sakura unknowingly let the audible sigh escape her.

"When you make that noise it compels me to ask you what the matter is…"

She whipped her head around to look at him in a kind of surprise.

"Nothing the matter. It's just…" she paused as she thought better of it, "It's nothing. I'll see you tomorrow Kakashi sensei!"

With her best attempt at forced cheerfulness she turned to make her way out the door. At that exact moment she considered what would be awaiting her once she left that office, just more busy work that left her feeling more empty and drained than it should because she put her all into every second of it. There had to be something more… The prospect of another night trying desperately not to wonder which of her friends would be announcing their next pregnancy or whatever spurred her on a little.

Sakura turned to face her Hokage, her captain, who was regarding her with the same bored expression as before. At least his eyes were open now.

"Kakashi sen… Lord Hokage, I would like to schedule a meeting with you to discuss a project I've been working on."

She paused, watching the slight way his expression changed. It was hard to tell if he was taking her seriously but she figured that playing by the rules would appeal to that sensibility of his at least.

"Regarding the hospital I take it?"

Sakura shook her head no and there was a way his posture straightened that gave her the confidence she needed, he was intrigued.

"This is something else I've been developing. I think it would be a great asset to the village and I'm more than prepared to put in all the necessary work to get it off the ground. Though the plan is still in its infancy, I would appreciate your consideration on the idea...sir."

She probably didn't need to now, but she threw the sir in at the end just to make sure he was well and truly on the hook. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her, lacing his fingers together with his elbows on the desk and leaning forward slightly.

HIs seriousness completely shattered as his eyes closed in what she knew to be a smile hidden underneath the fabric on his face.

"Drop the sir, and I'll pencil you in. Same time tomorrow?"

Sakura smiled widely despite herself.

"You mean it?"

"Well, you insist on dropping off more work for me at the same time every day anyway…"

"Oh, right. See you then Kakashi-sensei!"

She opened the doors and left before she couldn't contain the excitement any longer. Part of her inwardly giggled at how she'd left him in the complete opposite state to what she had found him in. Sakura had to admit it took a lot these days to get Kakashi Hatake to drop that bored expression. So she would have to be ready for their meeting, she had to make sure that his attention was held, she had to do this.

Kakashi was now facing a problem entirely of his own doing. It was just as he'd suspected, as soon as he'd admitted to it the nagging thought could not be ignored.

I'm so tired of this.

It was another meeting about a meeting. Long gone were the days where he was invited on site to new construction areas of the village, at least he'd been outside for those. Now he was shoved in some dark Anbu building off the main Hokage tower that had probably never seen any natural sunlight in its time. It wasn't even anything secretive or concerning to demand his attention, though he gave it all the same. No one could say he didn't take his job seriously at least.

No, this was a meeting about the meeting to discuss the Chunin exams. Usually Shikamaru would fastidiously vet these things so that Kakashi's time wasn't wasted, but the odd one slipped by occasionally.

So he raised the appropriate concerns, as usual, and nodded in agreement at all the right intervals until he was finally released to the next form of mundane torture. He took his time on the short walk to his own office, slowing each time he passed a window to take in as much of the outside world as possible. It was with a sigh that he opened the doors to his prison, deciding not to shut them until the next person barged in demanding something.

The hours that passed were filled with paperwork and reports that needed his scrutiny. Apparently. A lifetime of being exceptional at most things without trying too hard had allowed Kakashi to be able to complete most tasks as Hokage quickly with minimal effort. But he was starting to see why Tsunade hadn't wanted the job any longer, there was just too much to do even with his speed and discretion as it was.

His hand fell onto the next report in the pile. Deep blue, Shinobi medical reports. Despite himself his lip quirked up in a smirk. The file itself held little more than the physical condition of the ninja currently in the hospital for varying reasons, that wasn't what had amused him slightly. It was Sakura. As he perused the concise summaries without real interest his mind wondered just what project she had been talking about.

It had taken the medical report to jog his memory of the night previous. The determined look about her had piqued his interest certainly, but it was all forgotten as soon as she'd left and three Anbu had appeared with urgent requests. It was midnight before he reached his pillow finally, and by that stage he'd been too tired to think of anything.

Now that he had a moment he considered her odd behaviour before it had turned into a seriousness that was usually reserved for the annual hospital budget discussions. It was distracting him a fraction and he certainly appreciated that much at least.

Kakashi's thoughts scattered as an out of breath Iruka ran into the office with another crisis on his hands, and the rest of the afternoon was lost.

Orange rays of sun were again resting on his shoulders as he slumped back onto his desk. It had been a disaster. Students experimenting in extremely inappropriate jutsu that might've made even Naruto blush back in the day. But how they had managed to attract all those literal wild animals was lost on Kakashi. It had been exhausting, even if he'd semi enjoyed being outside for a while, he had forgotten just how annoying kids were.

Another sigh, but the sound of familiar footsteps made him sit up a little. Was it that time already? He propped his chin into his hands, elbows on the table, regarding Sakura as she entered his open office. Nothing about her was different, not that he could tell anyway, it wasn't like he spent a lot of time looking at her. She held up the damned blue reports she had with her and put them in their usual spot.

That was when he noticed the bag at her side. She'd brought some things to show him then. Of course Sakura would prepare for any kind of meeting.

"Thank you for seeing me…"

She put a hand into the bag and withdrew some scrolls and files. Not what he had been hoping for, but it was early days yet.

"Of course. How could I say no to such a request?"

It was true. Sakura had that determined look on her face again but there was a smile there too.

"I heard about your unexpected field trip to the zoo today. Did you want to postpone?"

She was practically laughing, and although he had found it amusing for a moment, Kakashi was well over it now. He didn't care if she heard him sighing in this instance.

"I'm fine I assure you."

"Is it true there were gorillas?"

"Sakura. Stop stalling. What did you want to discuss?"

The command switched her to all seriousness, she gave him a nod. Kakashi knew she was only making fun of him, as usual, but he was hoping she would be about to offer something in this meeting.

Unfurling two of the scrolls she laid them out on the desk in front of him. He pulled his arms off it to allow more room. She handed him the file.

"These are…"

"Blueprints. Plans for a dedicated children's hospital inside Konoha."

Kakashi was swept up in looking over all the details she'd placed before him

"And you feel like this is something the village needs?"

Sakura nodded earnestly.

"State your reasoning."

There wasn't any need to be so short with her but his mind was processing new information and had gone into autopilot.

"That file speaks for itself. The amount of child cases of post traumatic trauma since the last war alone is more than the hospital can handle, at least with any acceptable quality of care."

He opened the pages to look at the statistics provided.

"With the influx of people migrating to the village each year this number only stands to increase. As well as the number of orphans requiring medical care 24/7…"

Kakashi found himself nodding which only seemed to encourage Sakura further.

"In that file you'll see I've also charted the drop in new applicants to the academy. I believe that these untreated cases of PTSD, the ones slipping through the overloaded hospital system, hold a direct correlation…"

Kakashi held a hand up for her to stop talking. She trailed off as he studied the graph in question. It was true, the drop in applicants had been noted by him also. The lengths she had taken to gather these statistics must have been staggering, and time consuming. A project indeed.

"You always were the clever one…"

The words escaped his lips before he could check them. Sakura offered a nervous smile as he glanced up. Since when had she become a force to be reckoned with? Intelligent and thorough. The caring girl becomes the caring woman huh. The thought entered his mind without his express permission. This whole plan was detailed without flaw as far as he could see. It would have taken some time to compile.

"You've put a lot of work into this."

"Yes, Kakashi sensei."

She didn't elaborate. Knowing that he was still concentrating on the contents of the folder in his hand. Sakura waited patiently and silently while he scanned the documents.

"You had Tenzou draw these up?"

Closing the folder he turned his attention to the blueprints.

"Yes, he was exceedingly helpful. I also took input from Shizune and some of the existing medical registrars."

He nodded again.

"Have you given any thought to staff? A project of this magnitude will need to be well manned. Can the hospital afford to lose any currently?"

Sakura's eyes widened a fraction, he could see the gears turning in her mind.

"Not as yet. There were several promising volunteers come forward as I asked for information. Also the new trainees this year are numerous and capable. And with a dedicated children's sector it would free up that entire section and staff of the current hospital for other things."

"And who did you have in mind to run such a venture?"

She smiled self assuredly.

"That would be me."

Kakashi sat back in his chair and eyed her with a queer fascination, seeing enough of the plans for the moment. She would be the ideal candidate, but...

"Of course you would be the best choice. Will you have the time for such a position however?"

She raised an eyebrow a fraction in a questioning look.

"As long as my replacement at the hospital is up to scratch there shouldn't be any problem with time…"

She was still confused, and now Kakashi was as well.

"Aren't you meant to be planning a wedding instead of planning a children's hospital?"

Sakura's expression was now set in fixed confusion.

"Whose wedding?"

And so was his.

"Yours?"

She still looked at him as if he were speaking a foreign language.

"Why would I be doing that? I'm not…"

She paused. A sudden look of realization on her, Kakashi wished he had come to an answer just as quickly. Confusion didn't feel right to him.

"You really don't know…"

She said it as a statement more than a question.

"Know what?"

"Sasuke and I broke up a while ago, that's all."

The way she said it was so matter-of-factly with no trace of emotion, good or otherwise. Kakashi was glad the mask covered his slack jaw.

When the hell had this happened? Last he heard they were engaged to be married… but how long ago was that? He didn't know. He stared at her stunned, though she looked more concerned about him than herself. What was going on here and how could he have missed such a thing?

"I didn't know. I'm so sorry Sakura…"

He slumped a little more into his chair as she stepped forward a fraction.

"Don't be sorry… you're taking this worse than Sasuke y'know sensei."

She gave him a sad smile and he felt decidedly more terrible.

"How could I not be sorry? He was your dream wasn't he?"

Surprisingly her smile turned a little more cheerful.

"He was. But the dream was better than the reality of it."

She really had grown up. The thought struck him as odd but she was nearly twenty five after all. It was bound to happen, he'd just never noticed. Like a lot of other things. He really knew nothing about her.

"It's been years since he's been home hasn't it?"

"Three years I think."

Now he felt even worse. She softly chuckled.

"I don't understand why you're taking it so hard sensei, really, we're both better off."

"Oh I understand that completely. I'm just more of a useless Hokage, and person for that matter, than I thought. And I wasn't sure there was another level to sink to…"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. Sakura's voice was what brightened him a little.

"You're not useless at all! You've just been busy taking care of the village, and doing a great job of it."

The insistence of her vote of confidence softened him. Some things never changed, she would always care for whoever needed it and that lightened his mind from thoughts of inadequacy, at least for now. He dropped his hand and smiled properly.

"Thanks Sakura… Now, back to all of this."

He gestured broadly to the table and her eyes went back to fixed resolve.

"What do you think?"

Kakashi watched her bite her lip nervously and was reminded of her younger days in a sudden wave of nostalgia. He stood and stretched.

"Well, there's a lot to be done still. Planning permission is one thing, staff and location is another. The biggest hurdle will be the council and funding, but with a bit more detail we should be able to pull it off…"

Sakura's hands clasped together in excitement, but she was no longer the girl who jumped and squealed excitedly.

"You approve of it then?"

Kakashi smiled down at her face filled with happiness and was pleased for a moment at the young lady she'd grown into, though it was of no credit to him.

"I approve, yes."

Now she was grinning.

"There's more people that need to approve, besides your useless old sensei here, and it won't be easy. I'm sure we can manage it though. It won't take much convincing."

At this he glanced back at her expression as it changed to a raised eyebrow of her own.

"We?"

She repeated incredulously and he almost chuckled himself.

"Well of course we. You didn't think I'd make you do it all on your own did you? Something this size is going to take the both of us… What?"

Her eyes had narrowed in his direction.

"You're not doing this just to take all the credit right?"

Kakashi really did chuckle now, but it was more at the irritated expression on her face than anything. Rolling up the plans he rounded the desk and handed them back to her while Sakura continued to eye him.

"Now now, don't be silly. No one would ever believe a useless Hokage such as myself could ever come up with this anyway."

She softened and giggled, depositing the scrolls in her bag. Kakashi had slyly tucked the report into his desk already.

"I guess you have a point there."

"Exactly. You've done some excellent work on this project, no one will be surprised that it's come from the best medic in the Fire country."

She blushed a little at the remark, it wasn't as if he handed out praise readily, it sufficed as a good distraction and she didn't look for the other report. Kakashi resisted the urge to pat her on the head, as was his custom with Sakura. In light of everything he deemed it unworthy for her all of a sudden. She was not a girl anymore after all, she'd been through some pretty adult things now and was proving herself to be more than capable.

So instead he settled for patting her arm lightly and watched with curiosity as she blushed further and tensed. The touch would have only lasted a second or two but the reaction was hilarious. Kakashi made a mental note to probe into that later.

"I get that this is going to need a lot of hands to get up and running sensei, but you're so busy already, you don't have to…"

"Nonsense. I want to help."

"I could just as easily force the medical students to help with some of the grunt work…"

"It's fine, this is worth making time for. And you'll need someone with a political mindset to help with the council."

"But what about…"

"Sakura." He full on interrupted her now. "You won't get rid of me so easily. I'm still of some use so have a little faith in me."

When her expression turned serious once again Kakashi tried to be more words came out in such a way that he believed each one of them had been chosen carefully.

"Forgive me, it's just rare to see you go to such effort for something. Why would you go so far for this?"

She was giving him an out. Part of his old self appreciated this, but again Kakashi was reluctant to acknowledge the whole truth about the thing. But he owed her as much, he had completely missed her breakup with Sasuke like an oblivious fool.

"Well, what you've got here," he indicated to her satchel and the plans it contained, "it's really something Sakura. It has the potential to do a lot of good, you know that. Part of me believes that if something like this was around in my time it could've saved so many…"

He trailed off, a hand coming up to scratch the back of his head out of reflex even without his headband was no way Sakura was to know that he had been referring to himself as well as the others he'd lost. If this kind of hospital had been around back then… after his father, Obito's parents too, it would have done them so much good. They would have arrogantly resisted of course, but there would have been something. Some kind of help available to them. Things could have been different, and if his time as Hokage was going to accomplish anything, it would be that tragedies like that never happened again.

This was a step in that direction. It would also get him out of the office for a little while perhaps but that was just an added and unexpected bonus.

Sakura watched Kakashi as he spoke with a kind of softness she wasn't sure she'd ever heard in his voice before. He didn't offer information about himself freely, what little she did know was second hand intel. Perhaps it was his way of rewarding her for her efforts, but it felt different to Sakura. Like he was trying in his own way to let her know how significant this project could be.

It pleased her to no end.

After a moments silence she replied.

"When do we start?"

We.

It was clear that he needed to do this just as much as she did for whatever reasons. Kakashi smirked underneath the mask, or she guessed that's what it was anyway, she would never be one hundred percent certain.

"Well, no doubt you'll bring more work for me tomorrow at some point. Why don't we go from there?"

Inside Sakura was dancing like a little girl, with excitement and happiness she hadn't quite felt in some years. Not genuinely anyway.

"Right. I could start on a staffing list of exactly what the centre would require to operate and bring it tomorrow…"

"That sounds great and all, but for now, why don't you start with dinner perhaps? The list can wait until tomorrow. Besides, I'm hungry…"

He pulled the white hokage robes off in one fluid movement and hung them by the door. Kakashi had managed to confuse her yet again, Sakura stared at the back of his jounin vest.

"You're clocking out for the day I take it?"

"Yup. Ramen?"

She was now skeptical of what was happening.

"Sure…"

It wasn't the most convincing tone.

"What? Don't look at me like that, I'm not completely terrible… yet. Come on, my treat."

Even he didn't sound completely sure of his own words, it was the same bored emotionless tone as usual. Sakura shrugged and followed him out the door. She was hungry, and she couldn't actually remember the last time she'd eaten with another person. Probably after that last mission with Naruto had ended typically in ramen. So months ago.

Part of her wanted to gap it back to her apartment and start working already. She had to remind herself that nothing was going to happen overnight, and it was a rare occurrence that her sensei offered to do anything relatively social. If she turned him down now it might be another ten years before he offered again.

The streets were almost deserted as the sun made its final descent. But whoever they passed acknowledged their hokage or stopped completely to talk with him. Sakura noted that he was able to politely decline their attention with a smile and they continued unhindered.

Kakashi sighed as they rounded the corner to Ichiraku. Sakura sympathized for a moment.

"Long day huh sensei."

"No longer than usual. Rounding up dozens of wild animals certainly made it feel that way though."

"I thought there were only a couple?"

"Hm? Oh, no I was talking about the children."

Sakura let the laugh escape her before she felt the need to tease him a bit. He had done enough in their genin days to deserve it too.

"Oh, so you hate all children. Here I was thinking it was just the kids you were meant to be teaching that you didn't like…."

He put a hand to his chest in mock injury with a pout.

"How could you say such a thing about your old hokage here? Besides you guys were special."

"Special?"

"Well yeah. I hated you guys a lot more than other kids."

Sakura scoffed, contemplated hitting him square in his smug jaw, and then it dissolved into begrudging amusement.

"I guess we were pretty terrible…"

She managed after a moment. They'd stopped at the doors to Ichiraku now and she looked glumly at the larger building. A sudden wave of nostalgia for the old stand hit her. What she'd said had been the truth, all of them had been terrible in some way, but it didn't lessen the feeling that she was the worst of them.

"Maybe not terrible exactly, troubled is a better word for it. But you guys did kinda grow on me, so don't look so down."

Sakura expected the affectionate head pat that he usually offered her in moments of insecurity. Though in her twenties it was something that rarely was needed. But he didn't. Instead she felt his hand on her bicep with a small squeeze of reassurance. It was a quick gesture, and there was nothing more to it, but it made Sakura tense all the same. Not as badly as the first time thankfully. Kakashi was such a creature of habit that any change in his behavior was probably calculated.

It dawned on her that this was the likely byproduct of him feeling sorry for her. As if breaking up with Sasuke three years ago warranted it.

She hated people feeling sorry for her. She was strong, capable and despite the crushing loneliness occasionally she was far happier without Sasuke than she was with him.

Taking the usual seats at the counter Kakashi made some gesture to Ayame who nodded and began preparing. When he sighed, again, Sakura felt a strange compulsion to lighten his mood. When the food arrived she glanced at him sideways.

"Still… you treating me sensei, it's pretty suspicious. I feel like snow might fall on my head…"

She made a move to comically cover herself as she reached for chopsticks. Sakura smirked proudly at the light chuckle and scratch of his head he gave.

"Yeah yeah. I may be a terrible Hokage but I'm not a complete ass, well, most of the time anyway."

She laughed herself and toyed with her noodles, not missing the way the mirth drained from his face.

"You still hung up on that huh?"

Sakura asked before downing a mouthful.

"You mean the whole, completely missing a major event in your life, not realizing it for three whole years, and then bringing it up casually… yeah."

She figured that's what this dinner was about. It wasn't as if dinner with her old sensei was and odd thing itself, but Kakashi offering was a rarity. Sakura could feel a growing impatience at his feeling sorry for her. It was sweet, but unnecessary.

"I don't get why it bothers you so much Kakashi sensei. I said before, you're taking this worse than Sasuke did, and you're about one crying fit away from taking it worse than Naruto."

She chuckled at the way his eyes widened imperceptibly before regarding her lazily but keeping his head facing his ramen.

"I take it our favourite Hokage candidate didn't take the news well…"

Sakura shook her head with a mitigating sigh. Recalling the way Naruto had sobbed and wished that she could find the same happiness he had found. It had eventually morphed into anger at Sasuke's social ineptitude but the tearful episode had been an extremely long hour and forty five minutes.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I understand. I guess I feel even more useless than usual these days, so that news kind of bothered me, to say the least."

His startling admonition was what dissolved her annoyance. Kakashi didn't feel sorry for her so much as he felt guilty. As ever he didn't take too kindly to his own failings. The caring part of her was quick to think of ways to console him. Internally she was feeling a little smug about getting special treatment from someone who admittedly denied having any favourite students.

She repeated his gesture from earlier, placing her free hand on his arm and lightly squeezed before withdrawing. The contact didn't make him tense as far as she could tell, but he did go very still.

"Look, like it or not, you're Hokage now. And don't look at me like that, we both know you hate it."

He turned his head in surprise.

"You're far too busy to notice silly things like this. Don't beat yourself up, seriously, there wasn't much to it in any case."

Sakura took some more mouthfuls, completely missing how the ex copy ninja had managed to down half his bowl without choking.

"So you were the one who ended it huh?"

He murmured, still chewing.

"Yeah. I had, I guess, an unrealistic image of what it would be like. And I got tired of living with a ghost. How'd you figure that one out anyway?"

"Oh, just an observation… You were always the smart one after all."

She glanced at him sideways and he winked. She caught the hint, Sasuke had always been a bit of a prick and Kakashi had always stood firm on that belief. Sakura rolled her eyes and huffed amusedly. Despite the mood being lightened a fraction there was still a brooding look on his face, though she was almost certain that it was a permanent fixture of his features now.

Internally she debated whether to down her bowl and gap it so she wouldn't be stuck with the bill, however genuine Kakashi appeared this time, she was skeptical. But the quiet question he spoke, barely audible in a way like he desperately didn't want others to hear, stopped her thoughts.

"You really think I hate being Hokage?"

Sakura wasn't sure at the line of questioning.

"Well, hate might be a strong word. But whenever I see you at the end of the day it certainly looks like you hate it."

Kakashi was silent, his brow furrowed.

Tsunade had never looked so forlorn, at least not to Sakura. The sannin had looked more put-upon at the end of her term but even that paled to Kakashi. But, he'd always looked that way, hadn't he? Sakura continued.

"But I guess I don't really know you that well. You could just be putting on a broody Sasuke impression to make all the girls fall over you…"

He snorted and she decided she was off the hook.

"I assure you, it's not intentional. And… I suppose I don't really know you as well as I thought either."

Taking a sip of water, Sakura locked eyes with him as she swallowed. She didn't recognize his expression at all. But he was right, they weren't close by any means, so this look didn't bother her so much.

He continued.

"I can't believe you just compared me to an Uchiha. I really must look pathetic."

This time she was the one who snorted.

"There are worse things you've been compared to, probably. Where would you like me to start?"

Sakura became fractionally unsure of this line of teasing when his eyes narrowed toward her in seriousness. It was only for a moment that she thought she'd overstepped her boundaries, until they both abruptly started laughing.

"You know I could dock your pay for that, or put you on D-ranks with Naruto for a month. But that brilliant project of yours saves you, I guess."

"Seriously?"

Sakura couldn't stop herself from saying it.

"Yes, the worst kinds of D-ranks too, the ones with lost cats and menial farm work."

"No, I didn't mean that… You really think it's brilliant? The hospital I mean."

Kakashi eyed her queerly. Sakura had long since given up begging for approval or praise from any of her teachers, but to hear it from Kakashi himself, who seldom gave any kind of praise at all to anyone brought out that side of her. Perhaps her failed engagement with Sasuke had left her a little more vulnerable that she first thought, perhaps she just needed to feel validated again that was she was doing was worthwhile. It wasn't lost on her that this was his second piece of praise that evening.

"Of course. It's a credit to you Sakura, it really don't need to fish for compliments."

She shook her head.

"I'm not… Sometimes I just wonder if I'm being over ambitious, or crazy. And then, well, I guess I don't feel worthy of praise a lot of the time."

Sakura tried to snap herself out of it, but the idea of going home to nothingness and spiralling thoughts brewed up some more determination in her.

Kakashi spoke in almost a whisper.

"I know that feeling well…"

There was just an edge of bitterness to it, and she understood. Perhaps she shouldn't have had a dig at him about hating being Hokage, if he would just listen then he'd know how great a job he was doing. Sakura locked eyes with him again and realized.

He was the same as her.

Looking for something else for distraction from the loneliness. He'd just thrown his all into being a good leader of the village and it had utterly consumed him through fear of failure, of course he felt selfish about not recognizing her break up with Sasuke. She would too if it were Naruto or Ino. She watched him shake his head as if to rid the thought entirely.

Kakashi made some gesture to Ayame and she nodded. Her meal finished, Sakura stood and they both made for the door. She presumed there was some kind of tab for the Hokage set in place, so he was kind of treating her.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow sensei. Thanks for dinner, and for… well. Anyway, try not to aggravate any more wild animals huh?"

They were standing on the street, Sakura about to walk in the opposite direction. The scrolls in her satchel calling to her to get back to work. She was excited to see how much she could get done before tomorrow.

"Oh right, I guess you don't need walking home anymore huh. Pity, I was just thinking about adding a zoo to the list of projects and could use a hand…"

Sakura snorted before she waved and started walking.

"See ya."

She heard him say goodbye but didn't look back, she was moving at some speed. Things were finally going her way.

Kakashi wasn't sure what had come over him in asking Sakura to dinner. Hunger had certainly played a big part of it, pity in himself had been the other. He hadn't taken pity on her in the slightest, on the contrary, Sakura seemed well adjusted and actually thriving, it was all him. He was certain he'd felt pathetic before now but never quite this bad.

What a useless, unobservant fool. It should have been completely obvious when Sasuke had stopped visiting home as much, not that he was ever around really anyway, and his mission reports had continued to flow steadily. But still, he should have noticed. Conversely he had mistaken Sakura's hard work as something she had just always done, but really she was doing the same thing he did most was distracting himself from the loneliness…the failure in other areas of his life.

The entire walk home had allowed his mind to wander in unfavorable directions. Nodding to the Anbu stationed at his door as he passed through it, Kakashi stared resolutely into the emptiness of his own home. It never bothered him really, but at this moment he desperately wished for something new to take his mind off feelings of inadequacy.

But there was something new for him to focus on. Sakura had practically handed it to him on a silver platter, and it was a very good something. Potentially it was a project that had the capacity to keep him very occupied, it would also do so much good. He hadn't lied when he told her as much. She really was the best medic in the fire country.

Not only that, she was now a woman (and that thought disturbed him slightly) who knew what she wanted. She had planned this so thoroughly that it was impossible for him to ignore her. Kakashi huffed in amusement at the thought that Sakura knew what she wanted in all aspects of her life as well. His mind flitted to the brief moment she'd tensed at his innocent touch. She was sure she didn't want Sasuke, she knew she wanted to throw herself into running this project. In light of this he'd not probed into why his small touch seemed to almost scare her. When he'd done it again briefly it had been less awkward but there was still a tenseness.

Kakashi realized something he didn't exactly want to. An unoccupied mind was a dangerous thing, it shed light on truths that were much better kept in the dark.

Sakura was headstrong, driven, skilled and for all he could see she was isolating herself. She was turning into him.

Kakashi shook his head, stamped off to the bathroom and turned the shower on with more force than necessary. Shedding his clothes as if to shed the realization itself, he threw himself into the water before it had even warmed properly. But showers are not places to ignore one's thoughts or wash them away so it was just another mistake to add to his already long list.

Perhaps she was unaware of it, and she was obviously still the kind and caring person she had always been. Kakashi had caught the way she'd tried to put him at ease when she was the one who'd broken up with the former love of her life. It made him feel all the worse that she was becoming a recluse just like he was. The thought had begun festering when he figured out just how much time she must have spent on those hospital plans, then her strange reaction to the briefest physical contact. Admittedly it was not his 'thing' either, and he certainly never sought it, but someone warm and caring like Sakura deserved that physical affection. Right?

By the time he'd towelled himself off and dressed Kakashi had formed his own plan, of sorts. He gave himself a secret objective in taking on this project with Sakura. A side project to add to the list.

He would not let her turn out like him.

It was negligible of him to let her get so far in the first place, and it was something that just could not happen. He'd failed their team in many other respects, and Sakura in particular, part of him wanted to protect that kind quality of hers to his last breath. Though he didn't know her so well now that she was grown up (seriously when had that happened?) he knew that much at least.

She deserves better.

Just like Rin had deserved better.

The thought had been unavoidable, and stung bitterly to the point where he could physically taste it. Features set in displeasure, Kakashi regarded his own appearance for a second before pulling his mask back up his face, again with more force than necessary. He cast a bitter look at his own bed before exhaling loudly in frustration.

Of course he was tired, but there was work that needed doing.

With another nod to the Anbu at the door as he left, Kakashi headed for the one place where he knew something could keep him occupied. The report was calling a siren song from the drawer in his desk. He glanced up to his old teachers likeness on the mountainside.

"I wonder if you had any side projects sensei…"

Moving slowly through the lamplit streets of Konoha, Kakashi distinctly heard a sound that could only be Naruto laughing, magnified by the numbers of many shadow bounded overhead on the rooftops and Kakashi resisted the urge to grin broadly. Instead he looked back to the stone face with a knowing smile.

"Nevermind. Of course you did."