Name: warthog574

Age: Somewhere between 0 and kiss my ass

Where I Live: Somewhere warm and sunny for 7/8 of the year

Hair Color: Dirty Blonde

Eye Color: Blue-Green

Favorite MLB Team: St. Louis Cardinals

Favorite Lacrosse Team: NY Lizards

Favorite Hockey Team: Solar Bears

Current Stories:

The Lone God

Future Stories:

Warrior of Chaos

Percy Jackson puns

percy: Boy there is something.. fishy ..going on here

Annabeth: Yes it would be.. wise ..to avoid trouble

Nico: What are you doing. stop.

Jason: Wow,what a.. Shocking ..development

Leo: Things are.. Heating up

Nico: Zhang make them stop

Frank: Alright guys you heard Nico I guess I have to be .. frank ..with you

Nico: You're all idiots

Piper: Well I think its quite

Nico: Don't you dare

Piper: Charming

Hazel: Why these puns are pure.. gold ..

Nico: You're all dead to me

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast

PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE: don't have this on their profile
PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

If you’re a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name.

Warthog574

You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…:

• There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”

• Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.

• When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.

• You burn food to see if it smells good.

• You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”

• Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.

• You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

• You sometimes try to control water.

• You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.

• You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

• Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.

• You yell "Annabeth!" every time you see a NY Yankees hat.

• You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games.

• Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt.

• You are a PJO character for Halloween.

• Recite lines randomly from the books.

• When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.

• Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.

• You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.

• You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.

• You have dreams about PJO characters/events

• You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.

• That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.

• In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"

• You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"

• When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!"

• You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.

• You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of emergencies .

• You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why:

Thalia- Want her for your friend, hate her for your enemy. Also she's a hunter, her aim with an arrow is very accurate...

Athena- She scares Percy more than Zeus. Also, she cannot be distracted and her plans always work.

Hades- Um, this one is rather obvious- also you might not be buried with a drachma in your pocket.

Hermes- Cutting off your internet access would be slow and painful torture. Also I blame the economy crisis on Luke's stealing federal funds.

Aphrodite- She's preoccupied with Percabeth and trust me I dont want to waste her time!

• You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.

• You give all your siblings god parents.

• You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.

• You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.

• You spend time doing pointless research at , just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.

• You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.

• You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.

• Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend, (as does your father) to cure your obsession.

• You read page 203 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head

• You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, tLO PJO and use it in conversations.

• You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"

• you go to the empire state building and ask for the 600th floor. when the dude at the desk looks at you wierd,you announce that your a demigod.

• you put in grey contacts and pretend that you are Annabeth

• you curse out the gods when something bad happens.

• you watch the movie and read the book every chance you get.

• you claim that you are a demigod and need to go to camp in new york.

• you go to new york and ask for a man named chiron and that you need to go with him.

• you look for a latin teacher that is in a wheelchair and loves to throw greek field days.

• you try to find rachel and ask her for a prophecy.

• every-time a major water storm or earthquake happens you scream at Poseidon

• every-time somthing or someone dies that you are close to, you blame hades.

• you talk about them nonstop.

• You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.

• You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.

• Someone close to you dies and you give them money just in case…

• You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.

• You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.

• You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.

• You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.

• You think George Bush is a son of Ares

• You know Muse is the best singers. (Get it, the Nine Muses??)

• Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.

• When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.

• You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies

• Every-time you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.

• You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.

• Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"

• You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a test.

• And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.

• You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks.

• When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"

• You cried when you finished TLO

• You eat, sleep, and breath Percabeth

• Every school book you own has PJO stuff scribbled on each page

• You're in love with a fictional character

• You and your BFF call yourselves geeks because you sit around and talk about PJO

• You own homemade replicas of things from the PJO series

• You dream of going to Camp Half-Blood

• You buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.

• You yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.

• You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.

• You know which pages the good parts are on.

• You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.

• You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.

• You start figuring out who your godly parent is.

• You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.

• You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.

• You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes.

• You start spelling character names out of your spelling words.

• You start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.

• Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.

• You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.

• You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.

• The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”

• On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument.

• You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.

• You have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room

• You know PJO better then most sane people

• You have links to every great PJO site

• You add things to the list every day

• You know what you would do if you were Percy

• You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not

• At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future

• You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work

• For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Myth-O-Magic cards and they understood

• Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cuzs'

• You are trying to learn Greek

• You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.

• Every language you know is some form of Ancient greek.

• You shriek everytime you see a guy with black hair and green eyes

• You have an instant crush on Nico!

• You just have to research more about greek mythology

• You call up the Camp Half Blood number in LT.

• About 75/100 of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over

• You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/do/should have, and your friends have as well or are going to

• You make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO

• Your friends (At least one), think you are obsessed with PJO, and you agree

• A friend (or more), think you should start taking pills and/or going to a mental doctor, because you are so obsessed

• You have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter/son of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of Name of unliked god/goddess

• You’re nodding and smiling when you read this

• You have done at least 15 (Or more) of the above things

• You want to learn Latin

• You copy/paste this onto your profile

Dear bullies,

See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you just made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying.

Re-Post this if you are against bullying. I bet many of you won't. Your life is probably not as harsh as theirs, plus you're probably a douchebag.

95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. 4% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell "DO A FLIP!" If you are the 1 would push him off, copy and paste this into your profile.

Percy Jackson Pledge:

I promise to remember Percy

whenever I’m at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

for Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

when my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

whenever I see someone who doesn’t get along with others

I promise to remember Zoë

whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

whenever a limo passes my car.

Yes I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

Now I sit me down is school
where praying is against the rule.
For this great nation under God
finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
it violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange, or green,
that's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
and pierce our noses, tongues, and cheeks...
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible,
to quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
and the 'unwed daddy' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
we're taught that such 'judgements' do not belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
study witchcraft, vampires, and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
no word of God must reach the crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
when chaos reings the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen.

If you aren't ashamed to do this,
Please pass this on.
Jesus said,
"If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father." (if you pass this on, you will be accepted into Team Awesome-ness)

Month One

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace, Twitter, and Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think being unique is better than being cool, you know the drill

If your wondering why I'm wasting my time on my profile instead of writing stories Copy and Paste this to your Profile.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

92% of the teenage population would be dead if the Jonas Brothers decides breathing wasn't cool. I am one of the 8% that would be laughing hysterically in the background.

90% of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing at the edge of a six story building. Post this on your page if you would be one of the 10 of people who would be yelling "Jump, Jump!"

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Before you criticize you should walk a mile in their shoes. that way. when you criticize them you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD put this on your profile

If you suck at video games copy this into your profile.

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever killed a joke, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer

If you have ever copy and pasted something copy and paste this onto your profile.

I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down.

Ten percent of people in Britain believe that their food has a party when they shut the fridge door.

If you get sent to jail, a friend will bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, "Man that was fun!"

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

95% of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5% who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you are ready to stand up for what you believe in and not what other people tell you to believe, copy and paste this into your profile

IF YOU WANT TO BE A WRITER WHEN YOU GROW UP COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turnBLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

CREEPY!:

THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION- RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES- LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS NO MORE ZS

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

Important Things I Learned From Rick Riordan

-Even cat goddesses like growling at birds.

-The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese.

-Children of rival gods can fall in love.

-No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels.

-Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze dried ice cream.

-Eating fruit bats is bad for your health.

-Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated.

-The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy.

-Yes, that twelve year old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess.

-Jackal headed gods can be very attractive.

-Math teachers really are evil.

-Set's secret name is Evil Day. (Use this to your advantage...)

-It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena.

-Elvis was a magician. No, really.

-Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed.

-Boomerangs can cast spells.

-It's possible to gamble moonlight.

-Even the ferryman of the dead wants a pay raise.

-Rainbows have power.

-If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an uber-powerful god living inside you.

-Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely.

-Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones.

-Even plants can wage war.

-It's not safe to leave a possessed hispanic alone in a warship.

-You can use bubble wrap and wood sticks as a splint.

-Even Bacchus wants to turn Percy into a dolphin.

“Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.
"That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."
"Which one is me?" I asked.
"The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.
"Oh, shut up.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse

tags: acorns, percy-jackson, zoe-nightshade

2,095 people liked it

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“Wow," Thalia muttered. "Apollo is hot."
"He's the sun god," I said.
"That's not what I meant.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse

tags: apollo, gods, hot, olympians, percy-jackson, sun, thalia

1,772 people liked it

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“The real story of the Fleece: there were these two children of Zeus, Cadmus and Europa, okay? They were about to get offered up as human sacrifices, when they prayed to Zeus to save them. So Zeus sent this magical flying ram with golden wool, which picked them up in Greece and carried them all the way to Colchis in Asia Minor. Well, actually it carried Cadmus. Europa fell off and died along the way, but that's not important."

"It was probably important to her.”
― Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

tags: annabeth-chase, gold, humor, percy-jackson

1,666 people liked it

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“Dreams like a podcast,
Downloading truth in my ears.
They tell me cool stuff."
"Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.
He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."
"A god named Fred?”
― Rick Riordan

tags: apollo, fred, haiku, humor, percy-jackson, poem

1,637 people liked it

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“What if it lines up like it did in the Trojan War ... Athena versus Poseidon?"
"I don't know. But I just know that I'll be fighting next to you."
"Why?"
"Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: annabeth-chase, athena, percy-jackson, poseidon

1,487 people liked it

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“You are okay?" he asked. "Not eaten by monsters?"
"Not even a little bit." I showed him that I still had both arms and both legs, and Tyson clapped happily.
"Yay!" he said. "Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!"
I hoped he didn't mean all at the same time, but I told him absolutely, we'd have a lot of fun this summer.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: annabeth-chase, olympians, peanut-butter, percy-jackson, tyson

1,427 people liked it

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“I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush.”
― Rick Riordan

tags: percy-jackson, rachel-elizabeth-dare

1,352 people liked it

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“Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: hades, percy-jackson

1,232 people liked it

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“Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: death, greek, humor, mythology, percy-jackson, sorry

1,222 people liked it

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“God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!
Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse

tags: blackjack, dionysus, percy-jackson

1,095 people liked it

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“Can you surf really well, then?"
I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.
"Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried."
He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)”
― Rick Riordan

tags: annabeth-chase, athena, funny, humor, myth, mythology, olympians, percy-jackson, posiedon, the-lightning-thief, zeus

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“Percy: Don't I get a kiss for luck? It's kind of a tradition, right?
Annabeth: Come back alive, Seaweed Brain. Then we'll see.”
― Rick Riordan

tags: annabeth-chase, percy-jackson

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“Afterward, I had the last laugh. I made an air bubble at the bottom of the lake. Our friends kept waiting for us to come up, but hey-when you are the son of Poseidon, you don't have to hurry. And it was pretty much the best underwater kiss of all time.”
― Rick Riordan

tags: cute, isaiat, kiss, love, mart, percy-jackson, underwater

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“Braccas meas vescimini!"
I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant 'Eat my pants!”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: epithet, latin, percy-jackson

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“Monkey bar," Annabeth said. "I'm great at these." She leaped onto to the first rung and start swinging her way across. She was scared of tiny spiders, but not of plummeting to her death from a set of monkey bars. Go figure.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: annabeth-chase, percy-jackson

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“Once she was gone, I knelt next to Annabeth and felt her forehead. She was still burning up.
"You're cute when you're worried," she muttered. "Your eyebrows get all scrunched together."
"You are not going to die while I owe you a favor," I said. "Why did you take that knife?"
"You would've done the same for me."
It was true. I guess we both knew it. Still, I felt like somebody was poking my heart with a cold metal rod.”
― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

tags: annabeth-chase, debt, favor, friendship, knife, percy-jackson

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“It's him," I said. "Typhon."
I was seriously hoping Chiron would say something good, like 'No, that's our huge friend Leroy! He's going to help us!”
― Rick Riordan

tags: chiron, percy-jackson

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“Why can't you place a blessing like that on us?" I asked.

"It only works on wild animals."

"So it would only affect Percy," Annabeth reasoned.

"Hey!" I protested.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: annabeth-chase, banter, grover-underwood, percy-jackson

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“The throne rumbled. A wave of gale-force anger slammed into me.
WHO DARES-
The voice stopped abruptly, The anger retreated, which was a good thing, because just those two words had almost blasted my mind to shreds.
Percy. My fathers voice was still angry but more controlled. What-exactly-are you doing on my throne?
"I'm sorry, Father," I said. "I needed to get your attention."
This was a very dangerous thing to do. Even for you. If I hadn't looked before I blasted, you would now be a puddle of seawater.”
― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

tags: percy-jackson, poseidon

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“She raised an eyebrow. "You got something to say to me, Seaweed Brain?"

You'd probably kick my butt."

You know I'd kick your butt."

I brushed the cake off my hands. "When I was at the River Styx, turning invulnerable . . . Nico said I had to concentrate on one thing that kept me anchored to the world, that made me want to stay mortal."

Annabeth kept her eyes on the horizon. "Yeah?"

Then up on Olympus," I said, "when they wanted to make me a god and stuff, I kept thinking-"

Oh, you so wanted to."

Well, maybe a little. But I didn't, because I thought-I didn't want things to stay the same for eternity, because things could always get better. And I was thinking . . ." My throat felt really dry.

Anyone in particular?" Annabeth asked, her voice soft.

I looked over and saw that she was trying not to smile.

You're laughing at me," I complained.

I am not!"

You are so not making this easy."

Then she laughed for real, and she put her hands
around my neck. "I am never, ever going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it.”
― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

tags: annabeth-chase, percy-jackson

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“Now, come over here so I can pat you down."
"But you don't have-" Percy stopped. "Uh, sure."
He stood next to the armless statue. Terminus conducted a rigorous mental pat down.
"You seem to be clean," Terminus decided. "Do you have anything to declare?"
"Yes," Percy said. "I declare that this is stupid.”
― Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

tags: customs, declare, mental-pat-down, no-arms, percy-jackson, terminus

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“My name is Percy Jackson.
I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.
Am I a troubled kid?
Yeah. You could say that.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: different, humor, introduction, percy-jackson, school, trouble

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“My mother made a squeaking sound that might of been either "yes" or "help".
Poseidon took it as a yes and came in.
Paul was looking back and forth between us, trying to read our expressions.
Finally he stepped forward.
"Hi, I'm Paul Blofis."
Poseidon raised an eyebrow and then shook his hand.
"Blowfish, did you say?"
"Ah, no. Blofis, actually."
"Oh, I see," Poseidon said. "A shame. I quite like blowfish. I am Poseidon."
"Poseidon? That's an interesting name."
"Yes, I like it. I've gone by other names, but I do prefer Poseidon."
"Like the god of the sea."
"Very much like that, yes"
"Well!" My mother interrupted. "Um, were so glad you could drop by. Paul, this is Percy's father."
"Ah." Paul nodded, though he didn't look real pleased. "I see."
Poseidon smiled at me. "There you are, my boy. And Tyson, hello, son!"
"Daddy!" Tyson [shouted]...
Paul's jaw dropped. He stared at my mother. "Tyson is..."
"Not mine," she promised. "It's a long story.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: humor, paul, percy-jackson, poseidon, tyson

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“Nothing like watching your relatives fight, I always say.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: ares, family, fight, percy-jackson, relatives

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“I'm calm," Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?"
"Look," I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything."
"Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb."
"Was it hard?" Annabeth asked.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: annabeth-chase, dumb, humor, insult, percy-jackson, rachel-dare

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“He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. I shook his furry hip, thinking, No! Even if you are half barnyard animal, you're my best friend and I don't want you to die!”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: grover-underwood, percy-jackson

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“You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."
Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say these days, Grover? Do the children say 'Well duh!'?"
Y-yes, Mr. D."
Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"
You're a god."
Yes, child."
A god. You.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: dionysus, grover-underwood, percy-jackson

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“It's useless to lecture a human.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: human, percy-jackson, stubborn

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“You're a stalker with hooves."
"I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse

tags: grover-underwood, humor, percy-jackson, stalker

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“The main courtyard was filled with warriors - mermen with fish tails from the waist down and human bodies from the waist up, except their skin was blue, which I'd never known before.Some were tending the wounded. Some were sharpening spears and swords. One passed us, swimming in a hurry. His eyes were bright green, like that stuff they put in glo-sticks, and his teeth were shark teeth. They don't show you stuff like that in "The Little Mermaid.”
― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

tags: fight, little-mermaid, mermen, percy-jackson, warrior

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"Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."

Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"

Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"

"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."

Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."

I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."

"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.

"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt."

-Percy, Zoe, Thalia and Grover

Things Learned From Percy Jackson

1. When in doubt, find the dam snack bar-The Titans Curse

2. With great power comes a great need to take a nap-The Last Olympian

3. Paradises are places that can get you killed- The Battle of the Labyrinth

4. Gods get offended easily. Then they blow stuff up.- The Titans Curse

5. You can fight monsters, see Annabeth, and make things go BOOM at the same time.-The Batte of the Labyrinth

6. You can't fix a person like a machine.-The Battle of the Labyrinth

7. Monster will vaporize when sliced by a celestial bronze sword.-The Battle of the Labyrinth

8. Avoid poisonus swords or you'll die, after you shrivel slowly to dust-The Battle of the Labryinth

9. Anything is possible: including blue food and that Percy can pass seventh grade - The Sea of Monsters

10. People, and horses, who call Mr. D. the wine dude end up in a bottle of Merlot.- The Titans Curse

11. Three kids can drown in a really big bath.- The Lightning Thief

12. Everything strange washes up in Miami-The Sea of Monsters

13. You can't enjoy practical jokes when you feel like one.-The Last Olympian

14. Just say hello to the poodle.-The Lightning Thief

15. When you need Tantalus to go away, tell him to chase a donut. -The Sea of Monsters

16. Even heroes drool in their sleep- The Lightning Thief

17. When things seem bad enough, they usually breathe fire.-The Sea of Monsters

18. When barnyard animals don't want to kill you, they want food.-The Lightning Theif

19. Don't blow your nose when someone near you is running from skeletons.-The Titans Curse

20. Don't beat a god in a video game- he might want your soul. -The Last Olympian

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity is to have this on your profile!

I am that boy. The one who likes books more than girls. The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy. The one who always wonders what he did wrong. The one who writes to escape. The one who just wants to help. The one that really wants to make a difference. The one that sticks to his values. The one that refuses to believe that this is it. The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow. Copy and Paste if you can relate.

When angry…

Mortal: Shut up!

PJO:

Thalia: Shut up or my dad will zap you!

Percy: Shut up or my dad will blast you into seawater!

Annabeth: Shut up or my mom will kill you with wisdom!

Nico: Shut up or I’ll bring you to my dad NOW!

Beckendorf: Shut up or I’ll invent something to kill you!

Travis/Conner: Shut up or you will be as poor as a beggar! (They’d steal everything away in case you didn't get that.)

Katie: Shut up or I'll make you eat cereal for the rest of your life!

Silena: Shut up or my mom will mess up your love life!

Castor: Shut up or my dad will wrap you with vines!

Clarisse: Shut up. My dad's sharpening his knife.

Chiron: Shut up or my dad will— Oh wait that doesn't work. Shut up or I and my buddies will have a stampede on you!

"This is a pen, man,"-Percy Jackson