This was an idea that developed itself into a humorous oneshot. It took three days, but I'm glad it's over, because my History teacher is getting ready to kill. I hope she doesn't ask to see my notes,'cause that would be really bad.

I hope I didn't insult your country, or whatever, but if I did, sorry. And in the immortal words of my English teacher, tough noogs.

Oh, and I unfortunately, I do not own PJO. *sighs* Im workin' on it, though.

Throne Room, Mount Olympus 11:00 AM August 18

"Whaaaaat?!" Zeus exploded.

"You swore on the River Styx," Percy replied.

"I - But - I -" A stream of expletives exploded from the king of the gods' mouth. Beside Percy, Annabeth was trying not to laugh.

"Well, while you're at it, Percy, can I be your second-in-command?" asked Thalia.

"No," said Artemis firmly.

"Whaaaaat?" Thalia protested, sounding very much like her father. "You're going to let Percy be emperor of the world and you won't let me be his lieutenant?"

Simultaneously, Artemis said, "You're MY lieutenant!" and Zeus cried, "You're not taking over the world!"

"Whyever not?" Percy asked calmly. "You let Napoleon do it."

Poseidon had given in to his hysterical laughter long ago. Zeus glared at him. "Brother, restrain your son!"

Poseidon looked innocently at his brother with mirth-filled eyes and replied, "You have to admit, he has a point."

Zeus roared in frustration. "Hades! Is there no way out of this infernal oath?"

"Not unless the boy relents," said Hades amusedly. "Personally, I think he's very creative. I actually wouldn't mind him being emperor of the world. Remember, he is only mortal. He only has approximately sixty-five years left."

Zeus furiously turned to Poseidon again. "Try," he ordered.

Poseidon waited. "Please," Zeus said grudgingly.

"Percy," Poseidon said, still laughing, "You shouldn't be emperor of the world."

"Why not?" Percy asked brazenly. On Annabeth's other side, Grover had covered his eyes and was shaking his head.

"Because... It's not a wise career choice?"

Athena snorted - actually snorted. "Try again, Uncle."

"Because... you'll never succeed?"

"That's precisely what I'm asking for!" Percy cried passionately. Annabeth gave up, her shoulders shaking as she watched her best friend - boyfriend, she hoped - try to persuade Zeus into letting him take over the world.

Poseidon turned and shrugged. "Sorry, Brother, you did promise."

"No," Zeus grumbled. "It's not happening. I'm not letting a fifteen-year-old take over the world!"

"I'm older than you were when you overthrew your father," Percy said. "I made an... erm... tactical decision that ultimately destroyed Kronos. How long do you think it will take me to overthrow you?"

Zeus turned pale. "My - my family will stand behind me."

"Will they?" Percy asked pleasantly.

Zeus turned to his left. Poseidon shrugged. "Sorry, I'm with my son on this one."

Zeus looked at Dionysus. "Peter's grown on me," the pudgy god said, getting up to stand behind Percy. "Plus, I'd prefer a ruler who keeps his word. And we'll still be gods. Johnson'll just be the mortal emperor."

"I'm behind the kid, too," said Ares. "I won't follow someone who doesn't keep his word."

"Nor I," said Artemis.

"It's only logical, Father," Athena told him, stepping down lightly from her throne.

"I'm with him, but only so I can set him up with Annabeth," said Aphrodite.

Annabeth blushed, and Athena shook her fist at her fellow goddess. "You will not 'set up' my daughter with that sea spawn!"

"Hey!" protested Poseidon.

"That's it, Auntie; you've been demoted," said Percy.

"To what?" asked Athena sarcastically.

"To... good point," admitted Percy.

The spotlight had been off of the attention-needy god of the skies for far too long. Eager to recapture his audience, he said loudly, "It will not matter, for he will not be emperor of the world! It's a modern day and age. They will not accept an emperor."

"Leave that up to me," said Percy.

Manhattan, NY 5:30 AM August 19

"Are you ready to party?" blared Travis' - Connor's - a Stoll twin's voice from the massive speakers.

"Yeeeeesss!" came the screams from Manhattan.

Percy grinned. This was his city, all right. Ever at 5:30 in the morning, they were functioning - actually, at their best. All he had had to do was open up a coffee shop. Free coffee! Free caffeine! Percy for emperor!

These caffeine-addicted mortals would follow him to the ends of the universe.

London, England 10:00 AM August 20

"And... We can make your country less foggy," said Percy, sitting in a suit and tie and addressing thousands of London businessmen.

A woman in a maroon pencil skirt and a white tailored shirt stood up. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a smart bun. "I'll follow you," she said crisply, her accent pronounced.

A pale young man with black hair rose as well. "As will I," he said.

A muscular young woman in a pantsuit stood. "Me, too," she said, albeit reluctantly.

As the thousands of smartly dressed men and women rose, cheering his name, Percy grinned at Annabeth, Nico, and Clarisse.

Sydney, Australia 8:30 PM August 21

"Don't you want to be respected?" Percy shouted to a rapt audience.

A sound of assent.

"Don't you want to be recognized as the world power that you are?"

Another noise.

"You will be!" Percy promised.

The sound of all of those kangaroos jumping for joy measured an 8.9 on the Richter scale.

Los Angeles, California 1:00 AM August 22

Annabeth stood in front of the massive bar, tending it expertly. Thousands of LAers partied on the white sands.

Will and Apollo stood on the pier behind Percy. All three were holding guitars. Tyson fiddled with wires underwater.

Aphrodite and Artemis came racing onto the pier, dragging a resisting Athena behind them. "I said I'd back him, not sing backup for him!" grumbled Athena.

"C'mon, sis, it'll be fun!" giggled Artemis.

While the goddesses argued good-naturedly, Percy fiddled with his relatively quiet guitar - relative to the screaming Californians, anyway - practicing what he had learned in his five minute crash course on guitar playing. Apollo leaned closer to him. "Chillax," he said. "You'll do great."

Percy flashed a brilliant smile in return. "I'm not nervous, Cousin. I'm about to be emperor of the universe!"

With that, the speakers blared to life and the concert began.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia 8:30 PM August 23

"So far, the Malaysians have been the only ones who didn't want me as emperor," said Percy.

"Can't imagine why," grumbled Annabeth, who was doing her summer homework and was therefore in a very bad mood.

Percy ignored her. "I just couldn't think of what to give them. However, the Russians and Ukrainians liked their gifts."

"What'd you give them?" asked Thalia, on the run from Artemis, who was having a migraine that she couldn't get rid of.

"The Russians, a heating system; the Ukrainians, Percy for Emperor umbrellas."

Thalia rolled her eyes before asking, "Well, what did you do abut the Malaysians?"

"Oh, I brought in my army of Australian kangaroos," Percy said calmly, as if he had been talking about Napoleon's emperority in Zeus' palace. "My kangaroos are very well disciplined. Clarisse trained them for me."

Thalia choked on her hot chocolate. "You let her be your army general and not me?" she cried in outrage.

"You were busy convincing Artemis to sing backup for me," Percy replied.

Thalia frowned, indignation temporarily forgotten. "All I had to say was, 'It'll be fun!' and she was all for it. I think she was drunk!"

"She was," Connor Stoll said, poking his head through the doorway and disappearing.

"What?" cried Thalia, jumping up and running from the room, leaving a math sheet covered in lukewarm chocolate and a fuming Annabeth.

A moment later, they heard a scream.

"Travis Stoll, I am going to kill you!"

Upon due investigation, Thalia was discovered sprawled on the floor, shaking her fist at the second twin's retreating, laughing back and surrounded by flashing neon signs.

Percy! For! Emperor!

Nairobi, Kenya 9:00 AM August 24

It hadn't taken much to convince the Kenyans to vote for Percy. He hadn't had to offer them anything. Maybe they had just all seen the massive headlines that Connor and Travis had rigged all around the world. 'Genius Runs for Emperor!' 'Vote Percy for a Better Life!' They were all over the place.

They were chanting his name, but the further the chant got away from the key points where Percy had stationed campers to fuel the chant, there were places where they were shouting, 'Prissy! Prissy!'

Upon due consideration, Percy decided that maybe it would be best not to station Clarisse at key points in his campaign anymore.

Camp Half Blood 12:00 PM August 25

"Annabeth, you wrote the heading wrong," said Percy, peering into the notebook.

Annabeth erased 'Camp Half Blood' and replaced it with 'Emperor's Palace', grumbling, "What happened to your dyslexia?"

"Pffft," Percy said, waving a hand dismissively. "Emperors don't have dyslexia."

"Well, I liked it better when you - wait, what? That's totally bogus!" cried Annabeth.

But Percy was already gone.

Mount Olympus, 4:00 PM August 25

"It's taken you one week to take over the world," said Zeus, who clearly felt the need to state the obvious.

"Is that a hint of grudging respect I hear in your voice?" Percy asked in mock shock, ignoring Ares' grumble that there had been no casualties.

Zeus sighed. "I have to put up with him for 65 years?!" he cried in frustration.

Annabeth poked her head through the doorway. "Assuming he lives to exactly eighty, sir, it's sixty-four years, fifty-one weeks, eight hours, ten minutes, and..." She consulted her watch. "Sixteen seconds. Sorry, gotta go." She disappeared.

Percy sighed, too. "She's mad that I changed the name of the camp formerly known as Camp Half Blood to 'Emperor's Palace'," he said. "But I plan to make up for it by asking her to be my empress."

He left the room, whistling, leaving behind a snarling Athena being restrained by a wildly grinning Aphrodite.

Zeus sighed (again). He pointed his lightning bolt at the wall. A daily countdown calendar appeared.

23718, read the calendar.

Fin.