Name : Shannon
Fav Movies: Shelter, Scream (all four), Fight Club, Mulan, Hercules, Toy Story (all three), Harry Potter (all)
Fav Show : Glee, Dexter, Queer As Folk, Merlin, Misfits, Doctor Who, Criminal Minds, Torchwood, and Sherlock
Fav Book : Harry Potter series, Deadline, and anything written by Alex Sanchez
Obsessions: Harry Potter, Glee, Criminal Minds, Fanfiction, Popsicles, Arnold Palmer, Tumblr, Slurpees, Kool-Aid...

Favorite Pairings-

Harry Potter:
Hermione/Draco
Remus/Sirius
Hermione/Fred
Harry/Draco

Glee:
Kurt/Any guy that isn't Burt or Finn [but mainly Puck]
Santana/Brittany
Quinn/Rachel
Tina/Mike
Mike/Blaine
Finn/Blaine OR Sam

Shelter:
Zach/Shaun

Queer As Folk:
Brian/Justin
Emmett/Drew

Misfits:
Nathan/Simon

Skins (UK):
Maxxie/Tony

Criminal Minds:
Reid/Morgan

Sherlock:
Sherlock/John

Torchwood:
Jack/Ianto

Doctor Who:
Amy/Rory

My friends and I...

Miranda and I walking
Me: "Heyy! Look what I found!"
Miranda: "What?"
Me: "Knife!"
Miranda: "WHAT?! Only you would be able to find a knife on a nice, pleasent walk!"
Me: (plays with knife) "What?"

Playing a game we invented
Me "Jack!"
Mickey: "Queen!"
Miranda: "King!"
Me: "NINE!"
both: "Nine?"
Mickey: "You're suppossed to be ace..."
Miranda: "That's not even a nine... it's a five..."
Me: "... Nine seemed like a good number?"

Walking in the hall when my friend fell
Me: "What are you doing, get up!"

Kelsey: "Let's sex, NOW!"

Natalie: "I'm a panda!"

Kelsey: "She's too alive to be dead..."

Kelsey: "He's like one of those Asain people she adopted from, like, Asia..."

Playing Left4Dead
Wyatt: (singing) "Zombie queen, zombie queen..."

Mom: "I'm afraid of pumpkins"

Talking about a play I auditioned for
Natalie: "It would be great to watch you have sex in an elevator."

Aaron: "As long as I am more of a slut than Dani."

Dani: "If someone fried me and was picking at me, I'd sue!"

Emily: "Modest is the hottest!"

Laundry...
Mom: "Why don't you take your clothes off..." ...awkward silence...

Me: "I'd be like rawr and shit."

Natalie: "Ew. Penis. I'm a lesbian."

Natalie: "I will not support your penis baby!"

Me: "She's getting her nipple tattooed!"

Natalie and Me: "... in old English. Otherwise, you're just a hoe!"

Natalie: "If someone came up to me rumbling I would be like, 'All right t-rex'"

Natalie: "Drugs backwards is sgurd!"

Me: "I could drink a fish!"

Me: "Not cool, refridgerator!"

After we cleaned our dorm and talking about why we didn't make a fort...
Natalie: "We could've just (runs around and dances like an idiot) just because we could!"

Natalie: "You stupid cunt, bastard, bitch!"

Natalie: "Damn them Stephiane Meyers, J. K. Rowlings, and bible writers!"

Ian: "I'm your man steak."

Telling me about the movie "The Patriot"
Me: "Do they make out?"
Natalie: "No they do not make out! That is his son."

Talking about my dream
Me: "This man was not my cousin!"

Natalie: "I look like a ram that got into a fight and lost one!"

Natalie: "It is midnight o-one!"

Me: "... If you want a dinosaur. (30 second pause) Or a pony!"

Natalie and I: "LMAO!"

Poking fun at Hannah Montana
Me: "I love it when you oh yeah."
Natalie: "Oh, yeah!"

Vicky: "Half of four is two and a half... That sounded dumb..."

Natalie: "Horses are funny."

Natalie and I: (singing) "Oh pepperoni! How much I love ya!"

Me: "Whip out my penis and (singing) pee on your face"

Talking about how many Disney parents are dead or missing
Me: "Both of Aladdins dads were dead!"
Mom: "Both his Dads?"
Me: (long pause) "Yes..."

Amanda: "Everyones getting married and having kids... I just started college! Give me a few days!"

Me: "That was slightly erotic... and disturbing..."

Talking about eating lamb...
Courtney: "That's like eating bambi's mom!"
Me: "Bambi was a deer..."
Courtney: "BAAAAHH! (quietly to me) They say bah, right?"

Courtney: "Aren't Bonnie and Clyde famous explorers?"

Mom: "I thought I was shot! But, it's just bubble wrap..."

Me: "I had to stop reading. It was getting to an intense part and I didn't think I was ready."

Me: "Do I have to pay for it?"
Mom: "Well, you can't just steal it!"

Kate: "They look like they are twelve! Why can't I work here?!"
Me: "You sound like a pedophile..."

Kate: "I figure everyones gonna die, you might as well eat them."

Talking about a dog cake they made on Cake Boss
Mom: "Who gets to eat the ass?"

Kate: "Didn't you make-out with a thirty year old?"

Joe: "You better be a guy! ... I mean... You better be a girl!"

Kelly: "You are, like, popping my laundry cherry!"

Kiara: "Water. It's wet."

Tootsie: "I know you're the slut, but what's your name?!"

Random girl in my hall: "No more dicking the doors!"

Improv Game: "All. My. Hunger. Was. Caused. By. Georgia."

Kiara: "It's Sistine Chapel? When did they change it?"

Kiara: "And then we can spoon."

Kiara: "This teacher needs to learn how to speak English before she teaches in England... We're not in England! We're in America!"

Damon: "You can see really far out windows..."

Improv Class: (singing to the tune of Pinky and the Brain) "Jesus and the Pope. Jesus and the Pope. One is a Jesus, the others a Pope."

Tim: "Well, Bill Cosbys old, so, he's probably gonna die soon."

Seng: "... like jumping off cliffs and getting pregnant..."

Mom: "If you do this your eyes jiggle!"

Me: (whispers) "It's gonna be epic" (backs away slowly)

Me: "I feel like I just birthed a 19 year old kid!"

Kiara: "I feel like I just molested you..."

Me: "Everything looks cooler with a cape!"

Me: "This balloon is not a good vollyball."
Kiara: "This ceiling is not a good vollyball..."

Me: "Vowels are the whores of letters!"

Kiara: "Oh yea, deaf people can text! I thought because you couldn't send texts in sign language... Yeah..."

Kiara: "I would go to Africa, get impregnated, and give it to you. Just so you will have a legit African baby!"

Kelly: "You have the smallest ear holes..."

Kelsey: "Don't look at my underwire!"

Kelly: "It tastes good because it's healthy!"

Kiara: "We were walking up this hill-"
Kelly: "It wasn't hill. It was a corn field!"
Kiara: "It felt like a hill!"

Lance: (singing) "The moonlight shines on her... forehead?"

Kelly: "You would make a good phone sex operator."

Me: "A chair raped my face!"

Amanda M: "You're a terrible person!"
She tells me this often

Micheal: "For your safety you must die."

Eric: "Actually you look like kind of a slut."

Tootsie: "Free Tibet? Is Tibet under capture?"

Me: "I would assume this deaf person could read..."
Kiara: "Yeah... Braille."

Colin: "It's not rape if you're willing."

Dani: "I've never kissed a boy before..."
James: "I have!"

Me: "Can I get in your pants again?"

Kat: "He talks pretty... and shirtless!"

Me: *belch*
Issac: "Shannon, why are you so sexy all the time?"
Me: "It's just a skill."

Me: "You tell her batman!"

Bill: "I feel like you're my drug dealer."
Me: "I get that a lot."

Chelsey: "I'm fully aware you can see through my shirt, but if you don't like, then don't look."
-a few minutes later-
Colin: "I'm fully aware you can see through my shirt, but if you don't like, then don't look."
-a few minutes later-
Me: "I'm fully aware that you can see down my dress, but if you don't like then don't look, but if you do like, look as long as you like."

Me: "It's not rape if you can't say no!"
Kiara: "Is that a real thing?!"
Amanda and Me: "NO!"

Me: "It's so good and large."

Amanda: "I poopin' love otters."
Me: "You poop and love otters?"

Amanda: "You look like shit."
Me: "Awwww. Thanks!"
Amanda: "I'm just here for your moral support."

Kiara: "Hey, Shannon..."

Kiara: "I just ask you to know the answer to everything and you're just like 'mehhh'"

Kiara: "Shannon, your life depends upon this."
Me: "That sounds like a threat..."

Kiara: "That chair attacked me!"

Kiara: "Why didn't I put my bra on before I tried to be Wonder Woman?"

Me: "I'm trying to think of more words that end in O..."
Katie: "I almost said cat."

Kiara: "Oh my God, get me outta this room with this crazy person under my bed. Help her lord!"

Me: "Would you rather steal from a blind man or a girl scout?"
Kiara: "I guess a girl scout."
Me: "Honestly I wouldn't mind stealing from both."

Mom: "Write down: 'towels pick out of the garbage.'"

Kat: "It's so big I don't know what to do with it."

Kat: "I'm glad I'm walking with you. I'd say: 'Take the tiny, cute, pretty one.' And while they're raping you I'll run away!"

Me: "It takes so much effort. First I have to take off my pants and then I have to take out my eyes."

Wyatt: "And on your right there's a dumbass."

Wyatt: "I may be a girl, but I'm also a boy..."

Wyatt: "We look like two retards who don't know what stairs are."

Wyatt: "I'm sorry. She's a little cookie right now."
I am in fact a cookie.

Guy: "Booze and naked boys, what else do you need?"

Guy: "Why wasn't the pretty pussy in the hotel list?"

Kat: "It's like if a cheetah fucked a thirteen year old girl."

Kat: "Oh, it's called 'Not Enough Rope.' I thought it was 'Not Enough Rape.'"

Kat: "So apparently rape and suicide are HILARIOUS!"
It's a joke. We don't really think it's funny.

Me: "I have a better idea. It involves that plan and the plan from last night. It will get us Cheez-its, Diet Coke, and new back bones. All we will need is to kill someone, steal their food and legs..."

Me: "Power walking for short people is running!"

Me: (singing) "I just had sex!"
Kiara: "Really?"
Me: (singing) "And it felt so good."
Kiara: "I feel uncomfortable having this conversation."
Me: (singing) "Let me put my penis inside of you!"
Kiara: "No thank you..."
Me: "Are you sure?"

Me: "No, if he was my twin then it would be incest, ew. But, if he was my clone it would just be masterbation."

Me: "Hammers solve everything!"
A few minutes later...
"Butter solves everything!"

Doug: "You're buttering a bed..."

Chris: (angrily) "THAT MOVIE WAS BEAUTIFUL!"

Chris: "I'd take hard over tight anyday."

Chris: "There was a vagina in your pants... I need a cookie."

Chris: "You don't have to face down to pray to Satan."

Kelsey: "You don't like your penis being poked?"

Me: "Sexual tension squid..."

Will: "I feel like a terrorist."

Billy: "Incest is WINcest"

Chris: "If you sharpened your nipples you could stab her in the neck."
Kelsey: " Shannon... He wants me to sharpen my nipples... I'm scared."

Kyle: "Consent is sexy."

Billy: "Have you ever seen a fetus?"

Jordan: "That's what people do in New York. They lick you."

Chris: "I want that inside of me."

Lance: "I thought we were about to dance battle."

Aaron: (to me) "She's more of a person than you."

Kevin: "Theatre's a contact sport."
Me: "Just like golf."
Kevin: "And a play about golf..."
Me: "Might as well call it hockey."
About a play we are in...

Wineman: "I'm a nun!"

Lance: "It's science. Thunder goes BOOM. Lightning goes (weird hand movement)."

Lance: "Now remember what I taught you. What does thunder do?"
Me: "BOOM!"
Lance: "And lightning?"
Me: (weird and movement)
Lance: "And what sound does the letter E make?"
Me: "Ehh!"

Lance: "Solve that crime."

Aaron: "Enjoy your wife. I know I did."

Me: "We're golf clubbing!"

Me: "I could be your pocket Shannon!"

Me: "I wouldn't need a job because I can break dance."

Chris and I: "I can't math/English."

Molly: "You're taller than me, we can breed!"

Me: "Your computer's making me hot."

Kyle: "Santa is so real. I felt his glove."

Kyle: "It's so sad how Andy died in that car accident. And the toys visit him in the hospital..."

Chris: "I wish you had a unibrow right now."

Me: "What is pizza?"

Chris: "Take me Prince Phillip!"

Chris: "I woke up and Aaron wasn't under me and I was scared."

After an ambulance passes
Little Kyle: "There was a person back there!"
Me: "Yeah... That happens..."

Talking about my slurpee
Me: "Look at this pretty green I made!"
Mom: "What's in it?"
Me: "Mountain Dew and Blue Rasberry."
Mom: "But, it's green..."
Me: (odd look) "Yeah..."
Mom: "Oh, right. Yellow and blue make green. I was an art major."

Mom: "Are there rattles in there?"
Me: "I don't know, I'm not a rattle snake."

Mom: "... and mall cops, they're not real cops."

Mom: "Why do you laugh all the time?"

Courtney: "Don't worry about money, just make sure you have enough to bail yourself out of jail."

Me: "You can't do that! That's, like, a sin against Santa!"

Me: "Finding jeans that actually fit and on sale. It's like the heavens open up and smile. A chorus of angels sing. And Jesus tips his cowboy hat and smiles."

Samm: "I want to put Nutella all over my arms and just lick it off."

Richard: "Shotgun. Window. Chinese delivery. Masterbation."

Jane: "Prepositions are important."

Jane: "But, you killed the king, so screw you!"

Me: "I feel like you shouldn't have cocks on the table..."

Brittany: "I just finger everything."

Andy: "I'm gonna bake you a pie!"

Simon: "I went... Yeah, whatever."

Gregg: "How do you define incest? It's another of these things like swimming."

Gregg: "But, I'm a bastard and I hate everyone."

Gregg: "Shall we go to the butchers and buy a pound of beef?"

Gregg: "What is she doing?!"

Gregg: "Oh, that's alright Margret. Back to work."

Gregg: "I thought they were brilliant, but then my thinking moved on."

Laura and Me: "TEAM LAERTES!

???: "The awkward moment when the lights flicker in the room above the prison..."

Cassidy: "You're God and you just ripped this babies head off?!"

Tour Guide: "I saw the fat suits and I was in heaven."

Me: "I just made myself all wet" *pause* "That sounded bad..."

Morgan: "I'm not going near anyone's salad!"

Me: "Wyatt, you should get one of those."
Wyatt: "A black penis?"

Adam: "You're a bad gay!"

???: "He's 17 years old and he won't die!"

Lance: "Guys are magicians with their penis."

Me: "Shh. Come closer. Put your lips to my finger."

Lucas: "Gay, straight, bi, Korean..."