Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Glee, obviously.

Note: This chapter will be in Puck's point of view (POV), but the next one will be in Kurt's POV. This is the first chapter and I'm currently working on the second one, but I might be stopped by the horrible disease known as writer's block. Please forgive me if I cannot update as soon as you hoped I would.

First off, let me just say that I'm in no way gay. You can tell because while almost all the girls in school have a crush on Finn, I don't really consider him hot, or even remotely cute. Anyway, I'm not queer; I just really need to get Kurt to fall head-over-heels for me so I can prove him wrong, and that's exactly what I was doing as I pressed my lips against his inside the boys' locker room one Friday night before a big football game. He was trying to pull away, but I wouldn't let him until he kissed me back.

Now I know some of you are very confused about all of this, so I'll explain the whole story to you. It all started during another one of those glee club practices during lunch. Finn had just left with Mike and Matt to catch up with the rest of the club so they could go grab some lunch, leaving me alone with Kurt until everyone else returned. I don't know what possessed me to look at him, but I did.

He'd probably put on so much gel that day that it was somewhat visible on his hair, but the hazel shade was too distracting to even notice the gel. He was texting on his phone, his brown bangs blocking his right eye and making him flip it back with a jerk of his head. He huffed and put his cell phone into his back pocket as he stood up. Walking over to the large mirror behind the piano, he pulled out a comb from his sweater pocket and combed out his bangs carefully. So carefully that it made me raise an eyebrow in amusement. I snorted and he glanced at me through the mirror with a quizzical look.

"What, may I ask, is so amusing to you?" He asked.

"The fact that you care too much about your hair," I replied with a taunting smirk. I could tell that he would love to slap it right off of my face. "You look like a girl when you comb it. I'm surprised you don't go skipping around school in a tutu."

"Well excuse me for not wanting to look as disgusting as you," He scoffed.

"Who are you calling disgusting? Last time I checked, you and the other girls in school were drooling all over me because of how good-looking I am." I sneered. His face turned a shade of pink I didn't even know existed, and he turned around to face me with a twirl of his heels.

"You're delusional if you think I find you attractive," He spat, his eyes narrowed out of frustration.

"Says the guy who has a crush on Finn," I snickered.

"I do not!" He cried defensively, cheeks flushing a tomato red.

"Keep telling yourself that," I muttered and then flashed him a cocky grin. "Just admit it: you think I'm hot."

"I'd rather die," He rolled his eyes dramatically. "I will never ever admit to that, because it's not true. Never has been, never will be."

I was about to reply to that, but Mercedes walked in with Tina and Artie. I shut my mouth and glared at Kurt, who briskly walked over to Mercedes and took his lunch from her.

"Thank you for getting me lunch. At least some people in this prison we call high school have some class," Kurt glanced at me temporarily and went off to eat with his friends, if you can call them that.

Since that experience, I've made it my personal goal to get him to fall for me, which I'll be able to use to prove him wrong and steal the last bit of innocence he has left, which should be a piece of cake once I get him wrapped around my finger. And if any of you call me gay for this, you'd best be prepared for a beat down. Because Noah Puckerman is not gay. Never has been, never will be...oh God, now I sound like Kurt!