Caitlyn's Dance for Much to Teach, More to Learn

cr8vgrl's blog: Nothing Here But a Girl with a Pen in Her Hand

I solemnly swear that Fred never died and George wears blue boxers! I am a member of the Twin Exchange.

Writing is my passion. I use writing to express my emotions instead of verbalizing them. Thus, why I created this user where I can write, have people comment, and let my emotions take over in the best way I know how. I don't pretend to be a great writer, not even a good one, but I hope that you like my novels and even give me ideas for future stories! Just so that you know, I feel that redheads have been completely left out of stories, so if there are any characters that I create, be warned that they WILL be redheads.

Now: Some facts about me. I am a total bookworm! I could live on reading books. I love to write, and one story I'm working on has over two hundred pages already, and it's still not done!! I am a Christian and have been since I was five. I love Irish Dancing and I'm starting to compete in some dance competitions. Recently, I've started writing my own lyrics, and I've found that they're actually pretty good! As SO many others girls, I'm a fan of the Jonas Brothers, but I have to say, before you roll your eyes, it's more their characters, than their music, that intrigue me about them. Unlike most of the people from Hollywood, the Jonas Brothers, and their family, seem more real than one would expect. I'm pretty sure that watching them at their concert gave me the inspiration to try writing my own lyrics and singing them out loud (something I only do in the shower where no one can here me.) Plus, a friend of mine is good friends with one of the Jonas Brothers' violinists, and I loved watching her play at the concert!!

I absolutely LOVE Lord of the Rings. I have watched those movies so many times that I have most of it memorized! Pirates of the Caribbean ranks pretty high on my list as well. Alex Rider was a really good movie. I loved the gadgets and the jellyfish tank. Although there is a bit of language in it, I love August Rush. The music in that movie was so awesome. One Night With the King is a wonderful movie about the story of Esther. Harry Potter is a new addition to my movie repertoire. My dad has now started calling me Hermione. :D (He says that it's a compliment.)

My favorite bands include, of course, the Jonas Brothers, Stellar Kart, Addison Road, Rebecca St. James, some Taylor Swift, etc. I love to listen to, and watch, Michael Flatley's Feet of Flames. I've been watching those tapes since I was six or seven, and my grandmother says that the carpet has wear marks from all the dancing I did!

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!!

Thank you to my friend Jinger for this. This is what I believe being a Christian means. Please copy and paste this if you agree:

When I say that 'I am a Christian', I am not shouting that 'I am clean living.'

I'm whispering 'I was lost, but now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect.

My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain.

I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow!

RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention! -

GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!

Thank you to razzledazzle96 for this next segment. If you're looking for a laugh, this is it. I started laughing so hard when I read this that I started crying. Enjoy!

Some examples of why the human race has probably come so far (note the sarcasm). You know, not all people have IQ points of forty-five. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Dang it! My dream-self is going to miss fixing her hair.)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(What the heck is THAT supposed to mean? And, besides...I use soap for sensitive skin!)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But...the box said that it was JUST a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Besides...whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(shakes head We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we could just stop 5 year-olds from hijacking cars and using forklifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(No, really?!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(OK...? Something obviously went wrong in the translation...I hope!)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(In other words, don't use if floating in outer space)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(Nuts are fine, but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid BIG bucks to write this one. Wow, two sentences! 'You're a big kid now!' applause)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise both hands if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, go ahead! Just destroy children's dreams left and right!)

On a booklight box at Wal-Mart: great to use while sleeping (My dream-self can now catch up on all the reading material she's been missing.) (Thank you to Helen3616 for this one!!)

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they laid down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see.”

Watson said: "I see a fantastic panorama of countless stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a moment: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why? - What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a moment then spoke: "Someone has stolen our tent." (This is for those of us who think so hard that we miss the simple things in life. I'm guilty!! Are you?)