Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Merlin. If I did there would be no Arthur/Gwen forced viewing.

A/N: It had to be done. The Episode was like epic fail on the 'using the script for good' thing.

A/N2: Don't like it, deal with it.

A/N3: I really didn't know how to spell Giaberries or Wilderin so I took a stab at it. Not literally of course :D

Warnings: Slash, a bit of Angst. Slight hints of ArthurGwen (gags and dies).

"It's Alright, It's Just Merlin!"

Merlin mentally groaned seeing the look on Arthurs face "Oh no, I'm not going to like this am I? I know that face I'm defiantly not going to like this."

"The tunnels are infested with Wilderin"

"What are Wilderin?" Arthur looked at him

"Giant..." he saw the horror and panic spread across Merlin's face and moved closer "They're like baby rats"

"Baby rats? That's not so bad"

"That feast on human flesh" he added quickly and watched Merlin's face, as much as he made it seem he enjoyed making his servant panic and do things he didn't like, he really didn't like to worry him.

"Maybe we should go over the mountains?" Arthur looked at the pleading face then down to his feet and quickly came up with a plan.

"Giaberries! Wilderin are completely blind, they go by smell and Giaberries will cover the scent" he walked to a bush and smeared some on his face ignoring the sting and smell. Merlin sighed but walked to another bush and did the same.

Merlin scrunched up his face at the smell of the Giaberries "Ah! These stink!" Arthur looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. He raised an eyebrow back waiting for the reply.

"You would rather be eaten alive, would you?" he asked and watched Merlin's face

"Give me some more of those berries" he sighed walking over. Arthur grinned to himself and squashed some in his hands before smearing them over Merlin's face making him stop and eye Arthur

"Thank you" he said sarcastically. Arthur grinned at him and lent close.

"You're welcome" Merlin eyed him then smiled and struck a pose

"How do I look?" Arthur laughed and grabbed his hand pulling him close.

"Berry nice" he murmured and Merlin smiled shyly at him leaning his weight on him slightly before looking up and pulling back

"We should go?" Arthur nodded and squeezed his hand in reassurance

"Stay close to me" Merlin nodded and followed him occasionally stepping on his shoe.

Arthur felt his heart jump when he saw the Wilderin, he hoped that the berries really did work as he put out the fires and pulled them down hissing at Merlin not to move. He kept an arm around his waist to stop him from moving as the Wilderin sniffed at them focusing mainly on Merlin before leaving. He would never admit it but so far that was the only time he had ever truly been scared for Merlin. Merlin was going to kill him when he found out.

"Come on" he whispered and they quickly continued out of the tunnels.

They found a river and crouched washing their faces and Arthur found the skin of a berry and looked at him musing to himself

"Giaberries worked, hmm" he said aloud then winced when he realised what he had just said and the fact Merlin had frozen beside him.

"You didn't know if they worked?" he asked dangerously and eyed him as he continued washing his face

"Not for sure" he replied standing up and walking away to get away from Merlin before he blew up.

"Now you tell me!" he stood and stepped closer to Arthur who stopped moving "Oh what's that Wilderin eating? It's alright it's just Merlin." Arthur laughed through his nose and gave Merlin a grin "Are you trying to get us both killed!?!"

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have risked your life like that" Merlin sighed and turned away to look at the forest.

"Well, they do say love makes you do strange things." Arthur froze, Merlin couldn't know, could he?

"What are you talking about?" Merlin turned to him with his sly smirky grin that said he knew something Arthur didn't want him to know.

"Why can't you just admit your feelings for Gwen?" Arthur mentally relaxed before realising he had to reply. He snorted and shook his head walking away "It's so obvious! A blind man could see it." Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat; Arthur's reaction would tell him everything. "Is it really that hard to admit that you like you?" he kept the grin on his face and kept goading but hoped it didn't back fire on him. "Just say it!"

Arthur felt his heart break with every word, Merlin didn't understand, he couldn't understand. "I can't!" he said exasperated and angry at himself "How can I admit that..." he paused and looked down before looking back at Merlin, there was a strange desperate look in his eyes. "I think about her all the time?" 'Lie' his mind screamed at him and he looked to the side searching for another example and finding it with ease, he was just careful with his wording "Or that...I care about her more than anyone?" he saw Merlin's face fall, "How can I admit I don't know what I'd do if any harm comes to her?" he looked away so Merlin couldn't see his eyes, couldn't see the truth.

Merlin was silent letting the words ring in his head, it had back fired on him, and it hurt. He choked back what he felt and tried to keep a blank face but knew he failed. "Why can't you?" Arthur gave him his 'you really are stupid' look.

"Because! Because nothing could never happen between us! Knowing that and it hurts to much." Merlin looked at the ground my Arthurs feet

"Who's to say nothing can't happen?" he didn't want it to happen but no one said it couldn't.

"My father won't let me even save a servant, do you honestly believe he'd let me marry one?" Let alone the one he really wanted to marry.

"You want to marry Gwen?"

"No! No..." damn it "Yes I mean...I don't, don't know" he sighed and Merlin held up his hands "It's all talk and nothing can happen, that's all it can ever be" and it killed him, t watch the one he loved and know they would find someone else because it was unfair to ask them to live in secret until he was king.

"When you're king you can change that" Arthur shook his head

"I can't expect...Guinevere to wait for me"

"She feels as you do, and if I was her I'd wait" he said softly and Arthur eyed him then shook his head,

"End of discussion Merlin, come on we're wasting time" Merlin sighed at the change of topic and they walked off "and Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"If you ever tell anyone of this I will make your like a living hell"

"More then you already do?" although Merlin didn't think that was possible.

"Much more"

"You know we could talk about your feelings whilst we walk?" he said as he jogged to catch up.

"Merlin" he sighed and Merlin chuckled.

...

Arthur smiled to himself as he looked down at Merlin "You really are useless aren't you Merlin"

"It's...harder than it looks" Merlin panted and Arthur had to blink the image away. He tutted and rolled his eyes as he continued to climb "oh now you're just showing off!" Merlin grumbled and dragged himself up. When he got to the top Arthur pulled him over and they fell to the floor Merlin on top of the prince "Sorry!"

"Get off me you oaf" Merlin glared at him and stood up purposefully elbowing him in a number of spots. Arthur muttered to himself standing up and led Merlin into the old dirty castle.

They peered around the corner and saw two guards "you distract them" Merlin eyed him speculatively remembering the night before. "I'll knock them out" Apparently Arthur did too.

"How do I distract them?" Arthur pulled him close

"You..." he started then shoved him into the room

"Um hi there"

"What are you doing in here?" one growled Merlin stuttered then managed to form words and babbled.

"How are you?"

"It's not me you should be worried about." He said seeing Arthur pop up behind them "It's him" they turned and Arthur easily knocked them out. They put on their clothes then followed the corridors to where they could hear cheering.

...

Merlin eyed Arthur, he was acting strange but Merlin put it down to seeing Gwen and Lancelot hold hands as they made the journey a small slope where they could rest. The conversation was strained and awkward and Arthur soon dismissed himself to rest, Lancelot went to stand guard and Gwen went to rest as well. Merlin sighed and followed Lancelot.

Merlin watched the knights face she his heart break and he tried not to beg him to stay, maybe if Lancelot could love Gwen and she loved him like it appeared then Arthur would move on. When they reached the horses Merlin walked beside Gwen and watched Arthur.

"You know" he said once Gwen was reunited with Morgana and was now in her rooms crying over her heart, he and Arthur were in his rooms, washed and changed "Maybe the thing with Lancelot was just because he saved her?"

"You don't get it do you?" Arthur laughed sarcastically he turned to Merlin who raised an eyebrow. "I never loved Gwen"

"Then why are you so..."

"Because she can have her love and I can't! Because her love is perfectly acceptable and...My heart wants the unacceptable and the improper. Nearly everything I said to you was true except it's not Gwen. The person who is my life, I do think about them all the time and I wouldn't know what to do if they got hurt, and being around me that is a very high possibility"

"It's not like she would fight, women don't" Merlin got another exasperated look and Arthur stepped closer to him

"It's not even a woman" he whispered painfully. "Like a female servant wasn't bad enough, but a male one? I have to continue the Pendragon line and I can't do that with a man!"

"You could lie; Morgana or Gwen would help you I'm sure"

"And the man I love? Like he would return my feelings, it's not a common orientation you know; it's neither right nor proper."

"You can only try" Arthur sighed and nodded. He sat on his bed and Merlin watched him. He then sat beside him, close to him, hoping to pass it off as silent comfort. Arthur dropped his head on Merlin's shoulder then looked up. Merlin idly stroked his hair then looked down and Arthur gave him a tentive smile before leaning up. Their lips just brushed against each other before they pulled back and sat in silence for a moment before there was a knock at the door then it opened, Merlin jumped up and half way across the room and made himself busy sorting out Arthurs clothes. Uther eyed him before turning to his son and ignoring Merlin's presence.