If you have ever stayed up and read past two in the morning, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever pulled an all-nighter because you were reading FF stories, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever cried when your favorite character in a book, movie, or TV show died, copy this onto your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy this onto your profile.

If you are guilty of sometimes using a British accent, even if you're not British, copy this onto your profile.

If you really like to quote things, copy this onto your profile.

If you're quiet a lot but also REALLY loud at times, copy this onto your profile.

Do you know that the average American reads only three books a year? If you believe that it's not possible to read so little, copy this onto your profile.

If you get way too excited about certain books/movies/TV show episodes coming out, copy this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who gets excited when they get a new review, copy and paste this in your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV than reading. If you are part of the 35 who read more than you watch TV then copy and paste this onto your profile.

A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". Or "it's" and "its". Or "there", "their" and "they're". If you are one of the ones that do know the differences and want to deck those who don't, put this in your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate Cartoon Network for the cancellation of the Teen Titans, THEN PLEASE COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.(It's amazing how easy it is to trip over air! It's EVERYWHERE!)

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile

If you hate Racism, Copy this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

93 percent of English teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this on your profile (That would be a really, really, really long list)

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you haven't died yet, copy this onto your profile.

If you love to write copy this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows , copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile.

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Don't take life to seriously, no one gets out alive anyway

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could not care less

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24.My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!... we fucked up... but that shit was fun!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out

Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this...
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"

Please forgive excessive line breaks. I've never used them before.